The Tim Dillon Show

Tim Dillon is a comedian and tour guide. He’s very excited to give you a tour of the end of the world. Each week from a porch in Los Angeles he shares apocalyptic visions with his friends and berates a local diner.

321 - Bill Burr

October 29, 2022

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Bill Burr | The Tim Dillon Show #321

  • Tim Dillon is joined in-studio by the legendary comedian Bill Burr to discuss sports, politics, religion, life, comedy, etc.

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Transcript

Dude, I finally saw a racer head. And when I found out that his baby was born, his daughter was born with like webtoes that they got fixed. And I saw the movie was like, that guy is like a douche.

Yeah. I can't imagine meeting his daughter and seeing that. Like he wanted to kill me because I was deformed and I brought like that sort of.

Well, now you're a dad. You understand like webtoes, webtoes and children and the love of children.

Bill Burr is with us. The last man left in LA. You're, you've done it. You're here and you're sticking it out. Oh, there's plenty of guys. No, I know. I'm kidding. But you know how there's, you know, how they try to depict this place. Yeah. That is just a, you know, a bunch of liberals, you know, swimming around an infinity pool and talking about gender neutral bathrooms. It's so funny.

It's the same way that people out here talk about the red states. Oh, they're out there, you know, fucking this sister. Like you guys all need to do the road. Yeah. And intermingle and everybody can just relax. Yeah. It's a stereotypes exist for a reason, but it's these places lack of travel. Right. That's right. These places are big. That's the other thing. I think people don't realize how big Los Angeles is. So you don't realize when you go over the Hollywood Hills, it's Trump land. That's right. It's becomes real concern. I'm not saying they're into Trump or whatever. I'm not trying to start that shit. I'm just saying they're conservatives.

I was like, you go down Magnolia. There's like 12 gun shops down there. Halloween costumes, sort of a strange, strange. Yeah. I did the San Jose improv and the drive from here to up to San Jose, Northern California takes you through all these farms and they're all just like, there's, there's like, let's kill Newsome signs and Trump 2024. Like it's red. And then you get to San Jose and San Fran. It gets blue again. But these are California just came in the fourth largest economy in the world. U S China, Japan, California, just be Germany. Oh, is that right?

Yeah. About time. Yeah. Just be just finally, finally. I love that. I so don't pay attention to politics that I don't even know who Newsome is the governor. I know his name is Gavin Gavin Newsome. Yeah. He's the governor. Well, you're busy. Is he that I'm not busy. I don't pay attention.

Is that is that cruise guy running against him or is he mayor? Um, and he's running against that lady Karen Bass and, um, uh, and, uh, Rick Caruso are running for what I love is Karen is a Republican right? She's a Democrat. She's a Democrat. And this guy was a Republican. Now he says two days ago, I came. Yeah, he was a very, he's a right wing guy, but now he's kind of running as a Democrat and they're in a dead heat. The old billionaire, the old billionaire guy, the old billionaire going to become a politician and help out the little guy. Yes. He bought the grow. He owns the Grove. He developed the Grove. You know that? Yeah. That's soulless place. I like how you go in there. Yeah. I would suck your soul out, but they're playing this music like you just, you know, you know, luck be a lady tonight. Yeah. You just walk around. Yeah. You feel successful when you're there. Yeah. It's a hellscape and it's, you know, it's a cheesecake factory and then a bunch of stores trolley and there's a trolley. Yeah. It takes you around. So he's going to, I apparently do that for the homeless. I don't know what he's going to do, but he's going to solve homelessness with, I think he's going to put him in his buildings. Yeah.

That he's going to make and then there's going to be like a 18 month period and then he's going to kick them all out and then he's going to have the building. Yeah. I think that's how you make a billion dollars. You just know how it works. I respect the guy that he knows, you know what we're going to do? Right? Take all those dirty motherfuckers, stick them in this shiny motherfucker.

Everyone's going to be like, that's awesome. Then I leave office. I kick all the dirty motherfuckers out. I got this shiny thing that I'm going to, I'm going to make the less, lesser dirty people pay for. Yeah. I mean, that's very, it's very possibly what he's going to do.

Yeah. Or he's a billionaire with a heart of gold. That's also possible. The Julia Roberts.

Maybe he's just a good guy. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe Richard gear picked them up and took them out on a date. Yeah. And now he's a new tuxedo. Yeah. Maybe he's a good guy. I mean, his son's a DJ.

So he's kind of connected. He's connected to losers and regular people. Um, you know, perhaps he's, you know, he that's the big issue. Everybody at this point is either a DJ or an influencer.

Yeah. Yeah. It's just some, there's like six degrees of separation. You know, a DJ. Yes.

Or an influencer. Are you our one? Your life, you've seen everything change so much from when you started or a podcaster. Yeah. Or a podcaster. You've seen it change so much. Is it better now?

Like just life in general is life in general better now than it was when you were growing up?

Or do you feel like it was, it was better than overall?

It no, it's, that's a sliding scale. It's all like aspects of it. Right. I think it was better that you weren't staring at screens all the time. I think it's a better time now for artists. I think it's a better time now for, uh, people who aren't white to be able to express what's really happening to them. Right. Uh, I probably have worse time now for people in hate groups where they can kind of be like, Hey man, I didn't know you hated the same shit I did. You're up in Seattle, right? Sleepless in Seattle. It's the clan. Like you kind of get debt going on.

Uh, it's, I think it's just like, but, you know, obviously the environment, we've kind of pushed it to the limit here. Uh, it feels like it's at the breaking point.

Yeah. I feel bad for young people now that they're kind of down to two seasons. It's either summer or winter. It kind of seems in a lot of places. So I think people are ignorant too, where they're looking out at LA and out here being like, yeah, good luck. Like dude, like that's not going to slowly come your, it's coming. It's coming. Yeah. And when, yeah, if we keep going this route, cause like I was looking back East, I like the trees. I got the lush land and the lakes and stuff. And it's just like, if it keeps getting hotter, all of those trees are going to dry out.

And then you might, you just sitting around like a bunch of old newspapers. So I think the new thing is going to be, uh, it's not going to be to solve it. It's going to be the fireproof house where you can fire proof house with the infinity pool inside. I liked that. So as you sit there and you watch people with less money than you burning to death, right? As you're tweeting my heartbreaks for people with less money. Stay in there. Yeah. And once they're all gone, then you just sort of absorb. Yeah. I think we're going to go back to those massive ranches.

That guy, like, you know, like how that, that one guy owned Griffith park, like he gave that to LA, like one guy had all of that. I think we're going to go back to that. Once people just sort of get, you know, burned out or washed away by the sea. It's very possible. What's weird about LA is we do have a lot of homelessness, but all of our hit shows are about real estate. Like every show on Netflix, like selling sunset and, you know, buying, they just start dressing like absolute fucking horse. They're hookers. Hookers. Yeah. No, no, no. I watched one of that orange county one.

This woman was selling a house. She got these beautiful tits, probably not real. Right. Dude, everything but our areola. Yeah. Her tits were out and then it plunged all the way down here. And I'm just thinking like if a guy shows up with his wife, right? Like that's a really weird thing where it says, Hey, what'd you think of that? How? Look great.

Tell me two details of that house. Right. And none of them know like none of these. If you asked them what the taxes on the house are, they have no idea. Like they don't know any real estate questions. They're just hot. And I'm sure they know. But what I'm saying is they don't seem to know that much. I would, those are the kinds of women you want to fuck as a guy. If you're successful, you want to stay away from, yeah, because they will, they will, they will take your life. They'll eat you. Yes. Yeah. They will eat you and then play the victim and can't cancel you. Yeah. Well, I mean, they're, they're well, like, look, it's like when I was a kid, that right there, that was a movie star. Right. She was a movie star. Now she sells houses. She's selling a fucking one level ranch with an open floor plant. Yeah. Yeah. How do you not buy the house the second you walk in there? And I think a lot of them are trading on the fact that they'll meet rich guys and then perhaps, you know, they might marry those guys. No, you know what I think it is?

I think it is that you never used to sell houses on TV. Right. And then what happened was probably all the ugly people got shamed out of that business. Right. And then all of a sudden they were just because back in the day, stewardesses were hot. Right. I think all the hot stewardesses are now selling houses. They're not hot anymore. They're not. They look like me. No flight attendants look like they're, that's not true. I've seen some. Some of them are pretty, but some of them are weather. If you get on, if you're, if you're on a, a, a mainstream airline flying across the country, that's seniority. So there's going to be some miles on that one. Right. If you take a puddle jumper instead of playing Denver, you're doing Colorado Springs, right? Maybe grand junction.

Right. That's where you get somebody who's just cute. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But at that point, but at that point I'm 54. So I can look at her anyways. There are some creep New York to LA or LA to New York, which is what I do a lot is a lot of, it's a lot of older women. Got a hags. Yeah.

Who've had it. They've had it. They've had it. I've had it. Yeah. They've had it. Yeah. They're like, put the strap and they go to the seatbelt. They go and no shoulder strap. Like as soon as I walk over it, they're like that comic that stopped writing jokes and he hates his act.

Right. They just kind of keep doing it. Keep rolling through. Well, what's interesting about what you said about the fireproof house is that is probably going to be kind of a reality as stuff gets worse. Nobody's going to, the sad thing is none of the politicians are in a position to turn on corporations because they're all, they're all grossly underpaid politicians.

And they do it because they're supposed to be public service. But what you're really doing is it's so the rich people can have them in their pockets. They need them. That's why you know, the stuff that like those 24 hour news networks go after, it's never, you know, they're not going to go after like the big guys that feed them. They go after, you know, stand up comedians telling jokes and, you know, some guys, some guys, some guys slap somebody at a mall. What is this? What is happening to the fabric of America? And they just kind of, they don't go after like Blackstone that buys all these houses now and pushes the values of them up and they've locked people out of renting. Like they don't go after companies like that.

Like over the farmers through the local companies, selling like, you know, synthetic heroin, that's all. Yeah. Hundreds of thousands of people, devastating families.

There's one. That's no big deal. But did you see what Tim Dylan said? Right?

Right. Right. San Jose. And then that's like, what do they call that when you're, you're, it was like that joke I did at Red Rocks when I saw a bunch of fucking liberal idiots out here going after dead John Wayne. Right. I'm speaking to dead power. Like they were doing their thing as a white person that day. It was just so fucking stupid, right? Settling scores with dead people.

Yeah. But they putting them historically in perspective. The alive white guy that still has power that I need to get my movie made. I won't speak to him. Right. But I'll try to change the name of an airport. You're welcome. Black people. Does that ever, do you think what changes that where corporations run everything? They just seem to run everything and they will forever.

Yeah. Yeah. I think the only game to play now is yourself as far as just try to be a nice person.

Right. An individual. I know I was talking to you earlier. I said, Hey, I ran into this squirrely little guy. I mean, watch yourself if you're around, you know, just shit like that. Yeah.

That's, that's kind of like, you know, I've been doing this bit in my act about talking about what your job as an older person is to help out younger people. Right. And whatever mistakes you made, you know, you're telling them, this is what I did. This didn't work. And this is what worked.

And that's what you're supposed to be doing. And I think that, you know, if you're a comic that's doing well, part of that of doing well is helping out comics that are struggling. It just is. And I think, you know, if you're a white person, you should shut up and listen to people of other races saying what their experiences, right, rather than trying to be like, you know, well, actually, you know, Africans actually sold black people into slavery. So slavery with it, like just doing that.

That shit is not helpful. Well, then you just, it's like you're playing teams.

You know what I mean? Like I'm a Patriots fan. I can sit here and tell you that Mac Jones kicked that guy in the balls deliberately when he did that slide. It was fucking dirty play. Right.

There was a helmet to foot fucking get right there. Okay. But the, what people do is you can get so into whatever the fuck you are, whatever the hell you're rooting for, like Astro fans, you know, where, you know, when was the last time you saw an Astro fan? Have you ever heard an Astro fan say, wow, we are the first team that literally fixed a world series since the 1919 white socks. They don't right up until that moment. They were like, God, a fucking Patriots, fucking cheaters to flake gate and da da da da. I went out this movie I did. There was an actor on it. It was an Astro fan. I asked him about it. He goes, everybody does it. Big, big smile on his face. Everybody does it. Everybody does that. Yeah. No, everyone does not do that. Everybody knows what pitch is coming. I don't think they did that. So that's been kind of bugging me. Not that they did it because I'm a Red Sox fan and we had 180 tour. There's not enough people angry at them. They're not getting shit about it. Which when I've kind of realized is if you do some tiki-tack shit, that story will last forever. Pumping crowd noise in, you know, they weigh your football and it's a conter lighter. Yeah, that'll last forever. Something big that fucks with everybody's money.

Right. I had swept under the rug. Yeah. It's they investigated. There's a quick judgment.

This guy, that guy, that guy, that's it. All right. And then nobody like I watched that Yankee series against them. They didn't fucking bring it up once. And I was, you know, that's because I haven't given them shit until now. I'm like, all right, I don't give a fuck that you did it. Yeah. But you should get your, your just desserts of shit for it. Yeah. Well, some, some things stick and some things don't. I think that's what I was trying to say to. Yeah. That's it. You really just summed it up. If you were going to commercial, that would have been perfect.

Kevin Spacey just got off. He may be back, you know, he just got a, he got a, he's found not responsible or not liable in a New York or a jury led him. So he might come back. Not liable for what?

He's some, some 14 year old claimed he sat on him or something. He grabbed on me.

Some sexual assault type of thing that they just figured out. They were like, we just, they said, we're not going to do, we're not going to, we're not going to, today is your day, you get to leave the court and we're going to say you're not going to be the funniest charge I've ever heard of my life. He sat on a 14 year old.

That's close on. Yeah. No, he had close on allegedly. It's, it's allegedly he was, Kevin, you allegedly sat on a 14 year old. How do you please? He said he picked him up like a groomed us a bride and put him on a bed and lay down on him. And then the guy was like, whoa, he's at a party and they just did a court case and they let him go. They said, you're okay.

There's no way that's one of those things where you're like, you know, we did it. You know, it was creepy. There's just no way to prove it. Like the world, what I have learned is the world that system, it really protects, you know, it just, it's so hard. It's, it's weird. It's so fucking hard to prove, you know, how do you, how do you prove that? You can't. You just got to go on this stand and get teary eyed and say that guy did it. And then he's going to get up and or somebody's going to get up again. No, he didn't. And then the jury's got to make up their mind.

I know. And then you can't punch him in the face because then you get busted for assault.

Yeah. It's just, it doesn't make any sense. So all I can say is I hope he is innocent. I hope he didn't do that. I hope he didn't sit on a 14 year old. I hope he did not. I hope he didn't do that.

So I, I, he, if I had, if I was a guest, if I had a gun in my head, I'd say there's a good chance. We were so far apart at the beginning of this podcast and we've, we've found a middle ground.

We both hope something stick. Some things don't. Some people, some people come back with the me too thing. Some people do some people don't. Some people see, know what a chair is. Some people confuse it with a 14 year old. They're wearing muted colors. I mean, it's an easy mistake to make.

Who knows the mind does crazy things. Some politicians get away with a lot of stuff.

Nancy Pelosi gets away with some stuff, the trading and stuff. And you know, she's, and some people don't get away with anything. I don't know. I do. Yeah. I mean, she does.

Her and her husband, they're really rich. She's really rich. She's got all rich. Yeah.

They all do unbelievably well in the private sector. That's right. What? It's amazing.

Everything they touch turns to fucking gold. Every senator makes like 150 grand. They're all worth like $20 million. Every president does one or two terms, making 200 grand a year and then buys a $20 million house on Martha's Vineyard. Nobody says shit. Nobody says shit. But if you do a fucking, I don't know, some rapey joke. Yeah, it's a problem. All of a sudden you're all Jesus.

What are you doing to the fabric? Yeah. Yeah. What are you doing to the quilt? It's a, well, you're you're one of the most successful comics ever. Do you ever get asked to know about that?

Well, that's I think that's statistically true. Do you ever get asked to perform for these types of people? Like, I know that certain guys do private gigs or corporate gigs were like, you're around, you know, and I wouldn't either. Right. Because then it's like, I will. Because you, no, that was a time where I would have, but I'm in a position now where I don't need to. And I wouldn't because I don't want to have a relationship with any of those people. My job is to make fun of those people. That's right. And I have to go there and play grab ass with them. And then the next time they do something fucked up, I feel like I can't joke about it because, you know, I went to the black tie event with yeah, yeah, I have no those crowds aren't good. They suck.

The shows aren't fun for the most part. I think the correspondence dinner was a cool thing to do until they televised it. And then every side just like loses their fucking mind. Yeah.

Yeah. You know, whoever the comic is that goes up there and, and, and, you know, trash is whatever color tie the person's fucking wearing. It's really, Yeah. Would you do the correspondence day? I wonder if dad don't think they have you because they'd be like terrified. They wouldn't be terrified. They just, well, they wouldn't want, you know, those guys like have dead bodies on their body. They couldn't fucking handle me with one nerd with a drone. Yeah. Fly by my bedroom window. They are not terrified of anybody. Yeah.

They just don't have it. They just want to have a nice night. They just want to have a fun time.

Yeah. Fun time. That's yeah. What do they just look at me like the jerk off I am. Yeah. Well, I mean, whatever file cabinet the jerk off, but they believe me, dude, they are not.

They are not a, they do they run, they run shit. Yeah. Or at least work for the people that are running. They certainly work for the people that are running. Yeah. Definitely. I do the improv. Yeah.

They're good rooms. I don't think they're much right. They're good rooms.

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Everybody I know uses it. They're all happier. They're all more private. Go do it. Do you think that when climate, do you think in the next 30 years, 50 years, do you think there's a timeline on it where it gets hairy? Like, because it gets hairy. I, yeah, as a non scientist, I have no idea.

You observe things. You're out there in the world. Yeah. What's the deal with the war?

I say 30 years. That's what I've been saying. Just based on my calculations, driving around, rolling the windows. Well, the thing that happened to me when I had a kid is I became more positive about the future. Cause that's the only thing you can do because if you start thinking that, you know, in 30 years we're fucked for some of me, I'm 54. Now I'll be 84.

You know, if I get 84 years before I burst into. Yeah, whatever's going to happen or get washed out from some fucking rogue wave. Yeah, that's fine. But for my kids, that isn't fine. So I have to believe that even these lunatics, these fucking lunatic, that run like the people that run corporations are fucking lunatics. These people just even people who are involved with this the lot designed obsolescence where everything you just have to throw out. I was talking the other day how like you'd buy a fucking TV when I was a kid, you had it for like 25 years. Yeah. And if they had a tube would break the guide come over and put a new tube in it. It was like a showpiece. And now it's like, I don't know how many flat screen TVs all of a sudden. So it's like, yeah, this thing isn't, you know, it's not up to par. They should make them where you can just sort of switch something out of the back or we could all at some point just say, Hey, you know what? I think the picture is clear enough. Right? Why don't we just start? I don't need to see every fucking poor on the inside. The guy's fucking, you know, inner ear when I'm watching him tell me, you know, if fucking the trailblazers one, well, it's a lot of it's like the phone. It's like a new phone every year, new phone charger every year, kids that grow up, the new charger doesn't, the new charger doesn't fit the old charge. You just got to throw it all out and places like that from what I heard, don't want to get sued. They would rather pay the fine. The fine is so much less than the money that they make. And they got to start making the fine more, but they don't make any fucking money. And you go goddamn well, those corporations, they give money, they give money, and they give money to these politicians. It's all to shut them the fuck up so they can keep through the fact that you can't drink water out of a river anywhere. Yeah, in my lifetime that that happened, you got drink bottled water and all that that basically these corporations poisoned the water supply. Dude, if I do that, you do that. That's a terrorist act. You're in jail for the rest of your life. These fucking guys, you think, think, think, think, think, they fucking, think, the money's out there and then they just create like a new mark. Why, why, you know, you got the space behind you, but we're going, we're going too deep here.

Well, you know what it is. It's the influence of the background. It's not even noon.

Yeah, it's the same. During the desert, this is what we gotta change the studio during the pandemic. It made a lot of sense to kind of be in this desert landscape, but now that things are back, we want to lighten it up a bit because it's a door. It's a vortex, What you should have is maybe this it's dawn like the sun maybe we'll just starting to come We'll do that perhaps civil twilight. Yeah, like a Because this sucks you in you start you want to start yelling about the poison rivers That's the backdrop it is you want to start but I just wish I just wish people would just Like not be assholes to each other When they do like, you know, I saw this thing the other day just randomly on whatever the fucking site I was on or I was a tech strap to remind me my friends look at this new weapon that did fucking You know China has it was a fucking robot dog with like a machine. Yeah Just sends me this So I'm going, you know, I was just going I'm sure we already have one of those and pretty soon It'll fly over a football game and we're all gonna cheer. Yeah, I'm not gonna sit here and Get like worked up About China and all that like I know that they have sociopaths over there too, right as we have them over here So I just sort of look at it that way, you know what I mean?

It's kind of like I looked at Red Sox and Yankees It's like you spend way too much money. We spent too way too much money You guys did a bunch of roids. We did a bunch of roids, right? I'm not gonna sit here and act like yeah Their dirt is dirtier than than our dirt. No, it's not so I kind of look at that I'm and also I am really overly simplifying like world events Because it's a good outlook when you said people just focus on yourself and not being a piece of shit Yeah, and helping people out helping people rather than blaming them for this situation or just say pull your fucking Yeah, but I mean, I'm not saying that telling somebody to pull themselves up by their bootstraps like I like Really believe in a lot of conservative stuff and a lot of liberal stuff and it what it is is this there's nothing wrong with either outlook It's the application of it. It's when you do it There's a time to give somebody a hug and there's a time to go get your gun. Yes, right? Yes, so You shouldn't always get your gun then you're a press of asshole Sometimes you always walking around hugging people you can end up in the trunk of somebody's car, right?

And now we have this weird thing where we hug people with a gun like we have this very weird middle of the road strange thing where like Nothing feels genuine on either side. I think that's my biggest takeaway is it like Things don't feel authentic things feel very engineered and managed and I hope we get to a point when people are more Just you know a little more natural. I feel like things are that's because I I think because so many people are on TV now Yeah, even like you have your own Instagram page. Yeah, all of that type of stuff. That's why like I think overall like the level of fashion cooking and And just looks like how people look I mean I watch I love old movies and shit and I'll look at some guys and I'm like that guy's fucking 31 He looks like he's 56. Yeah, that's what a 56 year old looks like that lives in a city Yeah, you know like some of the people back then I mean, I said Brian Denne He used to exist. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like Brian Denne He was kind of a sex symbol to certain types of women my nanny my grandmother from Ireland loved Brian Denne Now that guy's like George Kennedy George Kennedy always looked like he was 63 his whole career I don't know who that guy is but he was in those The little George Kennedy he was in cool hand Luke. Yeah, he actually was played opposite Frank Drebben in the naked gun Yeah, he was yeah, I know exactly who it is. Yeah, he was never look at that guy's face. Yeah always looked old Even like the yeah, let's try to get when he's sort of young Look look up young George Kennedy and Still and you can see to the guy that guy is like you would not want to fight that guy now on any level. Hey go look at that one Still could pass for his mid 40s there. Yeah, good. Look. It was Distinguished. Yeah, it mad at them eggs Use a distinguished guy. Yeah, there wasn't there was there was no Timothy Shalamet and God bless him People smoked and they drank they ate fucking Like they did not have put put the diet together or whatever they that they were eating Um, you know out nowadays, I mean I just met a guy who was an agent and all he drinks is like these fucking smoothie shakes and This guy dude, I've never said this about another man. He was radiant. Yeah, like I thought I thought about him for like three days His hair was like like a fucking like a yeah, you know like those collies. Yeah, that are at Westminster. It's a border Yeah, you would brush. Yeah, like, you know when the chicks do that thing in the shampoo commercial from behind and it comes down And there's like that rainbow like that was guy like guys there You think a guy like that that's so radiant eventually just hits a point one day where he just is it like Michael Douglas and falling down Where he just at a stoplight one day just gets out of his car and just starts going nuts like people that are that would be him going No, he goes in and do a jack in the box. Yeah, I guess. Yeah. Well, that's what I mean Yes, I'm a friend fries I mean he loses it and has a mozzarella stick, but I mean, you compare this drinking smoothies Yeah to a guy going on a shooting spring Why just mean that like it seems like it's got an expiration date. That's all like no, I know no these oh No, I think it was beyond that like I think he was people that went to scientists and had his DNA man It was fucking impressive. Yeah So is that impressive or is a little bit of it like I don't know I know I understand that it is impressive to keep yourself. Look, there's obviously a level of ridiculous vanity to it But you just know that that's possible. Yeah, you know, it was very like Michael Jordan Right like a lot of those moves that kids did for the last 20 years It was Jordan showed you that you could do it, right?

And that's the genius of the first guy that Jimmy Hendrix Eddie Van Halen's you know the guys like that So like as far as like being like in shape You know, yes, he that guy did not make me afraid of being 60 at some point easy Well, yeah, he's inspired well people are getting older and older and looking better and better and maybe you know, I mean people are People are thriving Well into old age. Yeah, it's weird. It's it's interesting. Well considering they turned our food into poison I don't know how we're doing it. Well, because we're turning it We're turning it back into non poison, but just takes money because you can really eat the best of the best All right. Now. What do you think you need to make a year? Yeah to eat the way of fucking hobo 8 in the 1920s Everything was fucking organic. Yeah, you'd have to make a lot. You have to make a lot. What do you think?

What do you think the number is?

200,000 a year after taxes in this state easily to eat wild salmon to eat organic everything. Yeah You don't think you want to agree. I don't I seem low Food is fucking it might be super expensive and then it goes bad really quick immediately like the fruits and vegetables Yeah, yeah, like the way you eat the fries and the McDonald's on the way home You got to be eating the fruits will you let your children have fast food every now and then like is because my parents let us Have it all the time which was the wrong way to do it in the 90s. They would just I mean McDonald It was like hey party time Wendy's all that stuff very bad Wendy's that Wendy's was like going out getting steak when I was a kid Wendy's was amazing. Do you remember when they used to have the newspaper the newspaper tabletop the old-timey newspapers and a salad bar Yeah, then nobody went to nobody went to it, but it had pudding Wendy's was The top of the line fast food when I was growing up. It was the only one that actually looked like it used real meat Yeah, and they had the square burger which was weird. It was weird, but it was the way for them to say this is meat It was the way for them to say it's different. We're different That was yeah, yeah, it was a weird brand where they were like no, this is an actual thing Yeah, to answer your question. I don't take them out for fast food, but They're relatives do okay, you know the grandma uncles like that someone's got to be cool, but yes Exactly, right and I'm not supposed to be cool because I'm your dad So I'm your day-to-day, right?

So if I'm your day-to-day for the most part you're not gonna have it and then you're gonna be psyched when your uncle comes over You're your Nana or whatever and they're gonna take you to McDonald's or Jack in the box or whatever It's you know, right like when that's kind of how like You know like we weren't allowed to drink soda When I was growing up But if we went out to get pizza you could order it and when we went out to but we used to go out to McDonald's all the time like that Was like going out to eat that was another thing too like I think when you talk about something that was better back then I Don't know if I'm gonna Be able to make this point by saying McDonald's was our idea fine dining, but like The fact that you just didn't know Right all of this stuff You were happy with simpler things like I would say how mainstream high-end fashion is now Where I had never heard of Louis Vuitton, Ysselauron all the same now, you know, I got a wife so now I know all of that shit But like those stores back in the day were on Rodeo Drive and on Fifth Avenue, New York And I think that you maybe in Chicago on what is that with Michigan Avenue? Yeah, that was it Yeah, like women like dreamed of some day going to these stores and seeing this Disfashion that they saw like I don't know who like the Oscars breakfast at Tiffany lady there, right?

and now I remember when I was I was doing some You know some road gig through the some road trip to the south and we were like a like Mobile, Alabama Something someplace it was really exciting because I'd watched that Ken Burns the war and they made all those battleships down there So it was really a historic place to go to and I went to the local mall and there was a Louis Vuitton Yeah, I don't know if it was Mobile, Alabama, but it was somewhere and it was like yeah, it's And I've noticed that too the amount of people like Going into coach on a plane I don't know if they're real bags enough you see this high-end bag And I'm just thinking to myself when I sat back there, dude, I just had like a fucking gym bag, right?

And it's just this is that kind of thing of like just knowing too much and And also I think a lot of people that are in the public eye. They kind of sell having that stuff Making you happy and shit like that and none of it does No, there's a couple things you get yourself a nice watch. Yeah, you know what I mean a nice Cozy I like what you said to me about my car Which is Bentley you said to me good nobody believes that's your car everybody thinks you're driving and you know what I realized You're correct. Everybody thinks I'm a driver. I think you're parking it They think I'm parking it because they're all nice to me like if I go to Vaughan's a grocery store and in the Bentley Nobody gives me a look like oh this guy's a piece of shit. They're like, oh, he's running an errand For somebody but that was the dumbest person I can't believe his boss let's him drive the car But that was a dumb thing I got where it's like I wanted to get a dumb thing You know sometimes you got to get a dumb thing and it's a nice car, but sometimes you have to get a dumb thing You know, we would tease in Versey. Yeah when he did your podcast. Yeah Was when you took him out in a white Bentley. Yeah and took him out for Italian food. Yes, they watch out ago. He's grooming you You can't tell you would you can't take it exactly take out an Italian Yeah, you know and a high-end car with white that fucking you know give them sneakers. That's it. That's what you'd have to do It's over. Yeah, that is the case to that's safe. Yeah All right, but are you but you're a watt like you'll appreciate a nice watch So it's like everybody's got something that you know what I like. I like I like people that are really good at what they do Provided doesn't hurt anybody else. So I am into like Cars trucks motorcycles I like watching people hunt. I like I'm right now like I've been watching people like like power wash driveways and walkways It's just I do something so satisfying. Yeah about it Maybe because I'm a homeowner or whatever and I'm like, I gotta fucking get somebody to power wash my driveway That'd be great. And then there's all these laws about you know using the water out here I love the box of awesome from bespoke post because what you do is you take a quiz and it doesn't have to be for you It's great to give us a gift or it can be for you this quiz establishes things You're into are you an outdoorsman do you like cooking what it whatever then you get a box every single month?

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It's one of my favorite things that we sell on the show. I Who signed up for this? I got a box and it had like pancake flour Loaded gun it had the tail of a cat. It had some voodoo shit to curse myself or others It was really really cool one box had a vial of blood and just kind of a ransom note in it That was taken, you know, the letters from the different magazines was cut out, you know One box just you know had the picture of Richard Nixon and some literature I love it. It's just great. So go to box of awesome comm enter promo code Tim Dillon box of awesome calm promo code Tim DILL on ship station is what everybody uses to ship products They work with all the different shippers and carriers and it allows you to focus on whatever the most important part of your business is originating new ideas working on the You know marketing of those ideas ship station just allows you to basically Run your back office. It keeps track of your orders. Okay, it works with everybody Amazon Etsy eBay Shopify Making it easier to manage all your shipping needs from one simple dashboard You maximize your sales the minimal effort save time with consolidated order management Automated shipping updates for your customers easily compare carriers rates and delivery times to get the most out of every single Send I love ship station. It's so easy It's really really great. 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You can't worry about the shipping You see if you're focused if you're sitting home and maybe you've had a couple of drinks You got half a bag on and you're making a putting googly eyes on an acorn making them look like Santa Claus Because you don't want to live anymore and you're trying to make a little money The last thing you need is to worry about shipping. So you go to ship station calm Sign up with promo code Tim Dillon Tim Dillon For a free 60 day trial start today and get set up before everything goes crazy for the holidays That's two months free visit ship station calm click the microphone at the top type and code Tim Dillon, but Like you know chefs or something like that And so I'll get into something and then what I always do is I use like the David tell thing It's like I want to find the David tell of Pizza makers where other pizza makers are going to stand in the back and watch this guy make a pizza or Or customize a car or build like a motorcycle or something like that. So Yeah, I am I'm fascinating with all it there's a kid that Dean Delray introduced me to that Roll Club is the name of this thing. He's like a you know, right met him He's a 24 year old cobbler and literally make shoes the old school way like by you go down there He traces your foot on a piece of paper You come back two three weeks later and you just have this shoe that just fits you like a glove crazy. Yeah, so I am Like that those are the types of people I like yeah finding people that do something really well Yeah, and like that because they have a passion for it and they somehow figured out, you know, how to make money off of it Yeah, so they can keep doing it. I guess Yeah, I mean those are the things that if you're lucky enough to To meet those people those are the things that leave a mark on you, you know When you go to a restaurant and somebody's like really good and really even a waiter who really cares Oh, yeah, real waiter. No, I get mooso and Frank. Yeah, there's nothing unbelievable. You're unbelievable Yeah, like you Smitha Walensky's in New York City or they those guys are fantastic. They know your name They know what drink you like like that's the okay There's some shit from back in the day that needs to come back but not you don't do it ironically And you don't do it in a hipster way. That's the hardest fucking thing Right is when you go in there and they know who you are they know what you drank you come in there like You know, I have some friends of mine, you know, they got their name up there on the restaurant The little yeah, gold thing there. So they come in they know the table. They like yeah, you know they know the night that they go in there, right and And Yeah, I mean they know his kid's name, you know, never really brings his kid in there But like they know he has a kid they know all of that type of stuff and that sort of it's kind of like Like connective tissue where it's like like this is like solid and this is real. I think it's kind of a hard thing Getting back to DJs. I find them more places. I go to it's so fucking loud I want not to go get sushi with my wife the other night, you know, my ears a shot obviously I had to put fucking earplugs in Yeah, it's crazy. Well, cuz what they're doing is is everything feels like a club. It's a vibe Yeah, and it's like aren't we supposed to be creating this vibe if we're not cool enough To create a vibe that we should sit here in the boringness that is us But instead like like you listen to it I feel like I'm in the beginning of a movie like like oh shit Is there gonna be like a car chase is something gonna pull out a weapon here like what's gonna happen?

It's like, oh, we're just getting sushi. Well, it feels that's where I feel like everything feels weirdly engineered where every place you go There's music. There's a vibe that's being created and that's you hit it on the head and a lot of time It was in the parking lot. You heard it in the restaurant. You went in the restroom You couldn't get it. There was just a fucking DJ just fucking right there and the vibe is off a lot of times It's a wrong vibe. You're like, this is not what we want a spicy tuna roll We don't want we don't want Molly and we're not trying to you were not in a beehive. Yeah, I'm not a rave, right?

Yeah, I got a yellow tail roll But that's that's that's where you see it. It's like nothing's enough anymore. No one could just sell sushi See what you were talking about is like the cobblers just selling shoes. Yeah, don't walk into his thing and here at DJ When you're really really good at something you just sell the thing when you're like there's a million sushi restaurants wherever you are They're all going okay Well, we're gonna be the one with the DJ like they all have to compensate for the fact that There's a million other things that people yeah, maybe that's what it is. Yeah, I think back in the day Like it was less Well, I think scenes could develop right where you know now as soon as something develops It's co-opted immediately as soon as somebody sniffs out a little bit of money and something Yeah, and then people kind of like rip it off or whatever so but maybe that's the new scene Maybe scenes aren't small. Maybe they just got bigger and I'm too old to realize that I don't know but like you give me an example of something that you're talking about that would was just I would say well like You know star car racing coming out of the south where it was these moon shiners my cars faster than your car They started racing each other that builds into that people Skateboarding out here. Yeah turns into this global thing And it took a while for those things to have rap music in New York City and all of a sudden that like goes global music was a big thing like there was like a Sounds that you know, oh, that's a San Francisco sound. That's a Seattle sound. That's a Philly sound New York Boston had a scene and everybody would like and You know, whatever back in the day. I mean it was The gatekeeper at days where they would just be like, all right if they decided I guess I don't know how it worked This is the new sound then they would go there and then that scene would be cool But like they were able to kind of develop Like I remember reading Miles Davis's autobiography and that was like a like back then like before like TV and like even fucking I think radio was just around so you just had like everybody was like Like cauterized these scenes. They didn't intermingle So they would take people were aware of jazz and swing music But it became whoever you would whatever like Eddie you were spinning in and it would develop like that and then it would develop And then when they would get to New York City in that mintence jazz place. I always heard about yeah It was like you came van guard. Yeah, you came up in st. Louis I came up in New Orleans in Chicago and then we went there and then mixed with New York people and then it became something else But like I could learn So much from you because you would be so developed and Separate and different so I think Is it good for comics to put out a lot of stuff all the time? I know that young comics I love the faith you have in me with these big fucking questions like I'm gonna well You're the guy well, you're one of the guys to ask, you know, okay? Well, just know that I don't know what the fuck go ahead when comics everybody puts out a lot of stuff now and And back then you would work on something longer and you wouldn't put it out Like is it good to put out a lot of stuff like it's it's I think it's all comes It's an individual thing right it all depends on what you're trying to do There's everybody from I want to be one of the great comics of all time To I want to use this to get into TV movies and there's nothing wrong with that Like I never had a problem with people that did stand up for a minute just so they could launch a TV like it's not mine Right like these people who feel like because they do stand up that they own stand up It's like you don't people can do it for whatever the fuck reason right you got canceled so now you got to do stand up I get it. I don't give a fuck. Good luck. I hope you're fucking, you know, whatever, but I just you know It all depends on what you want to do if you want to be like a brand And God knows there's a lot of money in that I think I think putting out content, you know a lot I Always compare everything I usually end up comparing it eventually to music or sports So the bands and musicians that I like They seem to take time and they always know right when you're sitting there going like fuck man Are they gonna put out another album and then bam then they're promoting it They're everywhere and they do the tour and then they're just gone and And then they just like I feel like live life I Find for like writing jokes. I almost I need to I need to have a lot out like be living life like this year You know doing this movie And also trying to do a stand-up tour I found was too much I mean I loved both of them But to do both of them at the same time and then try to be a dad and a husband and all that became That was a lot so something had to suffer and I feel like my act has been moving like a glacier and Now that we just locked the movie and all of a sudden I feel like you know Elephant or Kevin Spacey just got off my chest, right?

Allegedly I feel like you know, I went down to the store the other night After having a couple two three days and not you know put my nose to the grindstone and my brain just felt like empty In a good way and I went up there and I started riffing and I had a just the best time Yeah, and I got all like this new shit out and You know it did 20 minutes and it felt like I did like five minutes was one of those nights and You know like I don't know I think think it all depends on how You know I need that To still be doing stand-up at an acceptable level other people Seem to be able to just seem to me to just be like tireless like they can just keep going so To answer your question. I mean, I think that's just an individual Yeah, thing and and that's a tremendous amount of wasted energy as a comedian you to look at another comedian It'd be like what the fuck are they always fucking it's like who gives a shit. That's what that's what they want to do Young guys got to figure it out Like on their own how they want to do it. Yeah, and hating on other comedians is part of being a young comic that is yes Sure, I did that my 20s And your 30s and Stan hopes said The second best thing about comedy is killing and the first best thing is sitting in the back of the room with a bunch of other Comics going that guy sucks I think that was the movie you just wrapped How long did it take you to shoot? We did it in 24 days Wow. Yeah, and you did it all in one location Well, we did it out here in LA. Okay, so because everybody involved With getting the thing going, you know was married and had kids and that type of thing So it's just like you're writing the script. Where does it take place? You're like it takes place here, right?

Are you when does it come out?

I don't know yet. Okay, that's so that's all Being decided by the people that decide all that stuff. So when you lock a movie means the editing's over Yeah, the editing is over so what we have to do now is we have a little bit of scoring that we have to do and We have to color it and then there's the ADR which is basically any Any lines that were either mumbled said too quickly or there was a car driving by or a helicopter or something so that's the last few things you put in and then Then they get a release date and then you go on the press tour and then it comes out and hopefully, you know You know when it comes out then you yeah, you do all the All the shows which are now like podcasts. Yeah, you know, are you happy with it? Yes, very happy good Yeah, yeah, I Was yeah, it's it's we'll see I mean we just screened it in Vegas Which you know, that's America right here. Everybody can't get more America. Yeah, it's like everybody from every state every Political background and people were howling at watching it. So I got I heard that it was very he said it's amazing like Very insanely funny. It's good. It's funny. It's funny. I don't want to oh, I don't overhype anything I think if you see it, you're gonna laugh and you're gonna feel like you got your money's worth Are caught you think comedies might come back a little bit They've been I think it wasn't profitable for a lot of studios to make them because DVD now They just got caught up in in in all of this shit and they listen to their lawyers and stuff and they think that everybody Like people out here and in New York they live in a bubble like it's not they're not living in reality and it's really hard to convey that to them and I understand their position too because You know the person who sits behind the day, you know, you and I we do something at bombs that fucking I got my podcast I got my road dates, whatever they get fired. That's right And they lose their benefits. They could lose their house and God knows, you know So they're way gonna be way more conservative and they you know, the the sky is falling is gonna land with them a lot easier So you have to have empathy For them so but I just wish that they would come on the road with us and see what you know that people Are you know, they have their own lives they're too busy to give a fuck. Yeah, well, that's the thing I always said about There is hatred in the country for sure But most people don't have the time most people aren't invested in hating you they might misunderstand you or they might not understand Things you believe but it always seemed weird to me to think that they were just people that were just Just stewing in their hatred of you some of them might be but I think the vast majority of people are busy Yeah, I would say that but those in there also the sad thing is the vast majority is also too busy to help because there's no reason there's no reason why these these Hate groups should exist there should be enough I Don't know education and I don't I don't I don't understand. Yeah That that you know, well, I think it's a lot of people that Had a pathway to a life at a certain point, but that's become more I shouldn't even say I don't understand that because I grew up semi sheltered in Boston and There was a time, you know with like, you know, somebody told a racist joke or whatever like I just I mean I didn't have a frame of I kind of had a frame reference, but like not enough I was just a white kid in the suburbs so you would laugh and there was a time where I thought saying racist shit You know was like, you know made you sound tough and I didn't think I was tough. So it was kind of like that but like You know, my parents had a wide variety of friends So I always had those examples in my head like I don't really believe that or whatever So I think that's kind of like what people need. Yeah, and then also I think that people need to let people grow out of shit Like is this like this whole fucking thing and going back in people's You know Twitter accounts and all of that shit, it's just like stupid I mean, there's like fucking three four years ago this this shit that I thought or the way I looked at the world I was just like wow man. I had that a hundred percent wrong and You know I lean left and I gotta say watching people on the left Go back eight years and somebody's Twitter and find one comment and be and define them by that to ruin them was really a low point and I felt that it was an a hundred percent abusive power, which was the ironic thing is That it ends we're fighting power by now that we have power now We're gonna fucking abuse it and I was always looking at like dude If you have to go back eight years to find this guy being an asshole He's been good for years for seven years. He wasn't an asshole. That's fucking amazing because I've never done that Well, Louie said it. There's no more localized stupidity. He said that on we had him on a few weeks ago people can't be idiots in private get over it grow up and That be the end of it people because everything is public now people make their mistakes online They make them what's yeah, what's they gotta stop they gotta try it like when somebody fucks up the first thing you shouldn't do I don't think the first move is let's ruin this person. Yeah, it's why wouldn't you be like alright?

Hey man, you realize when you said that that's makes you know, somebody like this feel this way or you saying that Does this or whatever and try to like have a conversation with them because this whole ramming it down people's throats It just doesn't It doesn't work. Did you know what these subjects are so fucking big dude, and then we're not gonna solve it on this Okay, no we did we just did we just here's the thing you just I'm an unbelievably flawed human being so there's only so much I can do I think we're moving into an air. Yeah judge somebody else How how the fuck could you do what I know? I've done in the past you piece of shit reminds me of myself six years ago I think we're moving into an era of people that are just trying to live and let live That's the hope I think we're over that I think people don't have any bandwidth for it anymore I think people are moving on they seem to be Like they've they've learned a lot about other people's perspectives perhaps And they're just trying to say hand me human being I love to think that the silent my majority and to me the silent majority is the person who can watch a video without Commenting on it. That's great. Those people. Those are the voters. They should vote They should vote are the people that I would like running the country They should be allowed to watch a YouTube video even if it bothered you. Yeah, you still don't have to leave a con Yeah, if you don't have to wait, yeah Then you can vote and if you've ever written in all capital letters on YouTube. Yeah in a comment You should lose your right to vote in jail. Yeah, you should be in jail What are you do you want after this movie comes out? You're gonna go you're gonna do the whole thing people are gonna comment And have to put it back into lower case. Yeah, they're gonna have they're gonna they're gonna comment in uppercase now When the movie comes out, you're gonna go on the press tour Are you at the point now where you've done a lot of what you wanted to do you have a ton of specials?

You've done the movie Are you getting to a point where you go? I've done a lot and is that scary when you go a lot of the stuff I've wanted to do is done Like, you know, or is that you put me out to pasture. No, I'm just saying we need work. No, I'm kidding Um, no, I um, I like what I'm doing and I just you know, I remember Keith Richards one time They said to him like Keith Jesus Christ. He was like 65 He goes, how long are you gonna do this and he was just like, what are you talking about? He's I'm a musician. Yeah This is what I do. I would do this in front of you know 80,000 or eight people I would still do it This is literally what I do and it wasn't bullshit because I remember one time he said something And where he was talking about he still loves like the smell when he opens a guitar case just to smell of the guitar Yeah, and that person when they ever was like really goes. Oh, yeah He goes if I could just crawl in there and close the lid I would And then that's just one of those guys like anytime he comes to town. It's like I have to see that I have to see somebody that loves what they do that much do it like and that because I it if whether they even realize it I think subconsciously it affects you to either do what you do better or to at least try to go find whatever the joy is For you Your thing that makes you want to do what he was talking about and if people if people could connect to that It would certainly be I think a better world if more people were happy doing what they do Yeah, I don't think I have a lot of issues with God and his his fucking half-ass work that he does on human beings Are you a believer? Yeah, he crushed the mountains the prairies in the oceans and then he just slapped human beings together If he was making cars the amount of recalls, yeah The amount of bailouts he would have to get on the federal government, but he did a great job with the setting The set is like the sushi restaurant. Yeah, that's a DJ He created the vibe. Yeah, I'm I a believer. I mean, yeah, you know, maybe there's something but I don't think it cares Yeah, I think it's moved on whatever the fuck it is. That's an interesting thing I've never heard that but that's actually makes a lot of sense that whatever it is has moved on I think it's like a crazy painter. Yeah missing an ear and it's like as an earth man. It's just fucking groovy Let's put some rings on this one. Yeah, do it. They'll have DJs and sushi restaurants Yeah, he's just in his bare feet painting where where you on tour next Are you going back out or are you? Yeah, no, I have I have 13 dates left. I Think I go there's a run I do Where I do one of those places is Peoria, Illinois, which is amazing because that's Richard Pryor's hometown That's great, you know, I took him fucking forever to get a statue of him up there I'm playing Chicago. I know I have Idaho coming up Colorado Springs. I know I have New Orleans I have coming up You know, bunch of bunch of fun places to go to and I've been to all of these places I literally have a thing in in my in my phone called places to go Yeah in my notes and I just have all these restaurants cigar bars and Just shit to do in every town I've ever been in over the years. Yeah, so That's kind of what I do to stay out of trouble when I'm out there. Well, listen, I really appreciate you coming on I know you're busy. When does I wish I could see the movie? Can you send me?

Something that I can watch if I don't share it Yeah, okay. Thank you Cuz I just love to watch it. Okay. Yeah, I appreciate I was you asked me to do like a little thing in it But I was in Australia. I appreciate. Oh, that's right. Yes. That's right. Yeah, I appreciate you know I know what kind of cop or whatever role it was probably like a dock worker, but No, yeah, okay, you actually I think the roles you give me shit as I was flipping out my car Okay, and then you sort of watch it like you're not involved. You don't have a dog in the fight Yeah, but I just and then I try to get you to agree with my position and you and you do not okay Well, we could do that again. Thank you for coming on. I appreciate any time. I appreciate it, man Yeah, for sure. I appreciate that you asked me so much deep shit that you thought I actually uh, well, but you You know what you do set a lot of great shit That's the word in that is not great. It's shit. Yeah, I said a lot of shit all we say is shit But I opened my pie hole and stuff came out of it's great. We get paid to talk, right? So, you know And it's talking a fun way Speaking of which here's an old guy thing to help out young people. You don't need an agent To get involved in your podcast money. You hear that Justin?

Sorry, that's right. Yeah, like these guys these kids man that they're getting This shit with the agents are going to be like, oh, you know, we'll get you advertising They're just going to promise you the fucking moon So they can be they can get their foot in the door that you pay them on the podcast and as far as I know That'll be like you book in a series that never ends. That's right. They're gonna even if you leave that agency They're gonna get your money forever. That's right. What gets you advertising money is you and your talent And getting fucking listeners. Don't give you a fucking podcast away Don't give you a fucking ownership of your podcast away. There's no reasons for agents to be sticking their hands in this shit That's there you go. Say that I stand by that's bill burr. All right, and we agree Thank you so much. Good night everybody There we go