098 = Something Blue and Diamond Birthdays Too

Pre-show announcements.

We will both be at an evening of a necessary detail at London's Cambridge Theatre is where Matilda is on Monday the 2nd of December.

I'm hosting and Bec is performing.

Yes, and you can hang around after the show and meet us if you like.

And in other news, we will be sending out our Christmas cards.

to our Patreon supporters, our physical cards for our wizard level supporters and digital cards for everyone else.

So make sure you sign up before the end of the month if you want to to be a part of that.

We will send them out all through December.

So if you sign up at any point, you'll get emailed a digital one by end of November if you want to make sure you get the physical card.

Now on to the show.

Hit up with a theme tune, Lauren.

Hello and welcome to A Problem Squared, the podcast where we try to solve problems people have sent in.

And A Problem Squared is a bit like the season of autumn

in that it's cooler than you expect.

Because it's really cold today.

And I'm like, it's only autumn.

It's already freezing.

And we're occasionally crisp.

Yes.

Let's go with that.

Yep.

My name is Matt Parker, mathematician, YouTuber, writer, and I'm a bit like autumn in that I've lost all my foliage over time.

Although Although it's kind of moved down, it's low, it's dropped.

Yeah, you've still got beard.

Yes.

Yeah.

And I'm joined by Beck Hill.

And your feet are like

hairy as head.

Joined by Beck Hill, excellent comedy writer, excellent comedy performer.

You're wondering where I'm going with that.

You've got the look of where's this setup going?

Why is it saying excellent?

And the low-average spy

who is a bit like autumn in that your last name is consonant vowel double L.

I'm assuming

autumn's full name is autumn fall.

Sure.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Got it.

Whenever one country uses a different word in another country, I assume it's just a first name last name situation.

Yeah.

So like it's chip crisp.

Chip crisp.

Yeah.

Chip crisp.

Tap faucet.

Yes.

Yeah.

Now, you and I and everyone listening are like trying to think of other ones.

My friend came up with a term for this, by the way.

Oh, really?

Shout out to Amy Butterworth, who came up with the term puns of tension.

Oh, everyone's punsive.

Yeah, everyone's a little distracted, pre-loading a pun.

Everyone goes quiet and tries to think of this.

Yeah, yeah.

So I said that I would try and get that going.

So if everyone listening could.

Great.

Yeah.

We're already solving problems.

There we go.

And on this episode.

I'll be looking into an age-old, or is it, wedding tradition.

Oh.

I've run the numbers on diamond birthdays, which is not what I thought they were.

Ooh.

And there'll be some any other business, I assume.

Any other

buriesness?

Breezy?

Breeziness?

Because of autumn?

Burness.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, I'll take it.

We'll go with that.

Also, we have a brand new segment, which I haven't told you about.

No.

But it will be happening.

Okay.

Bec, how are we?

I'm all right.

Great.

You called me the other day.

I did phone you the other day.

And I was not in the best.

I answered.

Well, let's get the chain of events in the right order.

Okay, tell me your.

So you sent me a very long voice note.

Oh, yes.

Which you call it personal podcast.

Yes, I do.

And for the complete experience, I listened to it while I was driving somewhere.

And at the end of it, I was like, I could just phone back now and chat about it.

So I used the voice control.

I yelled at the car.

to phone you and it did and that brings us up you were like car call back exactly that and then I answered.

And you were like, how are you?

And I was like, I've just flooded my kitchen.

Yeah, word for word.

Which I have for a long time, listeners of the podcast will know that has happened before.

Not the first time.

Yeah.

I did the same thing again.

Ran the sink to wash some dishes.

Even this time, I thought, don't leave the sink running, bet.

You remember what happened last time?

And I thought, I'm not going to be that stupid.

And then I walked out the room and completely forgot about it

for about half an hour.

The whole kitchen ceased to exist.

And the most annoying thing is I'd done a massive clean.

You know when you do a deep clean and you organize everything?

Lovely.

And I've never felt more grown up.

I was like, for once,

I've caught up.

Yep.

I'm doing okay.

You're on top of life.

I feel like I can handle things.

And there were a couple of dishes in the sink.

And I thought, do you know what?

You know what?

I stick on the cake.

Let's do these dishes now so that when I come back, I don't have to do them.

I'll be mature.

Yep.

and then i floated the kitchen universe was like oh no you don't yeah may i ask you some questions i think the listeners might be wondering yes please okay what were the chores you were doing that were so engrossing that you forgot the water was running i think i've mentioned this before uh i'm currently because i'm going to be moving soon yep currently sleeping on an air mattress yes it's a very it's very funny it's a good air mattress guys i can't there is no way you can insist that your air mattress that you're on it and it's people just think you're sad it doesn't matter how often you say it doesn't matter how much you give the details of how great the air mattress is it doesn't make it any better

it's

the sadder it gets yeah and that's a nice one it's a very thick airbed it's one of those ones that's like the depth of an airbag yeah yeah i know i know air mattress technology has come up i don't have to re-inflate it like ever okay i believe you know you don't i can see it in your eyes no i don't and it wasn't the fact you have to re-inflate it that makes it a sad situation

It's electric, guys.

You can plug it in the wall, inflates itself.

Unless it's voice control.

Mattress, inflate.

Car, inflate my mattress.

Mattress, deploy.

Now, that would be impressive.

It'd be like a Murphy bed, but more dangerous.

She says more dangerous.

Let's kill more kids.

Oh, that's harsh.

I do find, though, that those little logos that you get on the visors in your car

tell you not to put a baby seat you're pacing the wrong way yes i always find them really funny because the picture you know it's like a baby

flight

not meant to be entertaining no i'm sorry but it is if i was anyway intrusive thought the sticker yes

so the thing is you're putting a fitted sheet the annoying thing is is i realized far too late that if i deflated the mattress put the fitted sheet on and then inflated it that would have been much easier yeah but instead as i've described you before taut as as a drum it's like it's like yeah it's so taut

it's so taut you're not even the first person to

it's like trying to carry an inflatable dinghy into a lift yes yes because it's like the width of the room as well so it's not even there's not a lot of maneuvering i'm like knocking plants and lampshades over anyway so i was wrestling with that for about half an hour

you realized how handy a dinghy would be in the near future yeah yeah as soon as the water reaches the bedroom i'm fine That's why I had to wait.

I don't wake you up.

Question number two.

Isn't there like a little overflow thing in a sink, which stops this from happening?

Yeah, there is, which clearly doesn't work.

Yep.

And we found that out the first time.

Yeah, but

that's not been remedied since.

No, forgot to.

Well, thought I'm never going to do that again.

Why would I need it?

Why would I need

that thing that would have been really handy the first time?

Yeah.

Okay.

Those are the questions.

So the sink overflowed.

First thing it does is fill fill up the drawer under the sink.

You sent me a video of you opening the cutlery drawer.

It's like a Mr.

Bean sketch where he's keeping a pet fish in a drawer.

There was like a secret aquarium kind of feel.

And so then the water, once it's overflowed, that goes into the cabinet underneath, which means every single piece of cutlery and crockery and everything.

that we own and infuriatingly things that I will never use but now have to clean.

And then obviously obviously that made its way into the kitchen floor, all across the floor.

And then I got a phone call from my downstairs neighbor.

Oh, yes.

There is water running down the front wall and it looks like it's raining through my window frame inside.

Yeah.

That's the worst side.

It is the worst side.

But I did end up having to buy flowers and chocolates.

I feel like chocolates and flowers are the least.

Are the least.

Absolutely minimum.

I did think about getting her a brand new set of towels.

All right.

Yeah.

Here's some flowers to soak up the moisture.

So that was how I was.

You need to get the overflow fixed in the kitchen.

Yes, I do.

We will check in with you later.

That's why I do this podcast because I'll listen to it when it comes out and go, Oh, I used to do that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I'll ask you in about a month's time.

If I play my cards right, I won't have to.

Gav will.

Was that also a strategy?

Yeah, no, I'm not going to call the landlord when they're not my landlord anymore.

You take care of it.

Uh, Matt, how are you?

I'm good.

I have some news about my cycle every day until I'm healthy project.

Ooh.

So I had this campaign.

We discussed this before.

Yes.

Where I was cycling every day until I was healthy.

I did the big cycle race, the big gravel race in Western Australia.

With your brother.

With my brother back in May.

Yes.

And a little bit after that, I was like, oh, I got a bit of muscle tightness just in my chest.

Oh, kind of left peck region.

And I was like, it'll get better soon.

So I'm still cycling every day.

And then every now and then I would still feel it again.

And eventually it had been there for like six months.

Just constant or just

every now and then.

Yeah.

And I was like, uh,

like, as a policy, if something doesn't heal, you should get it checked.

So I ring up the doctor's surgery.

I'm like, I got this thing and I describe it.

Cause they get you to describe it so they can allocate you what sort of appointment.

And they're like, well, the GP's just going to send you straight to a physio first.

Why don't we book you over the physio?

Yeah.

Get it checked.

And so I went and saw the physio.

This is late last week.

And I explained, oh, it's after this race.

It's been six months.

She's saying, well,

so when does it hurt?

And I'm like, well, just occasionally after I've been cycling.

And then she says, well, what about

other times?

And I had to say, well, I don't know because I cycle every day.

Oh.

And then there was just this awkward moment.

And she went, have you tried not cycling?

Oh.

And I was like, oh, because what had transpired is I'm there going, no, I just thought I'll keep cycling and make it your problem.

yeah yeah yeah yeah no yeah you're right i have not done the most obvious thing yeah and in my head as someone who solves problems that'd be the first thing is if let's see if there's a connection yeah this yeah exactly and i and in my head i'm like do i explain

and i'd realize because you know what the answer is going to be exactly yeah stop doing that yeah and so i just said you know that's a good point so They did some tests and it's just

pec muscles are too tight and the muscles in the back aren't strong enough.

And it's probably because I've done so much exercising.

Like all my exercising has been in like the kind of hunched over cycling position.

It's just bad.

And I've not been doing exercises to compensate that.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you're strengthening those things and nothing else.

Exactly.

So the point of the project was to get healthy.

It feels a bit counterproductive to keep doing it.

when a health professional has said, stop doing that for your health.

Yes.

And so I thought I would, despite my own dedication to a ridiculous project, just remember the reason for the project was to be healthy.

So I agreed and I did not go for a bike ride that day.

Wow.

And so I made 338 days.

I was within a month.

Yeah.

Within a month.

At the time of recording.

Yeah.

We are so close to the 12th of December.

Yeah.

So of all the ways that story could have gone.

Yeah.

That was the least concerning.

Oh, 100%.

That's why.

If you've been like, I've had to stop cycling because

my knees have come off.

Yeah, exactly.

Don't you get when you turn 40 in this country, don't you get an MOT?

You do.

I haven't done it.

Oh, man.

I haven't been 40 for a while.

Yeah, you well, go do that, you idiot.

I'm not even.

I'll do that if you fix your drain overflow.

All right, dear.

I'll get my drains checked if you.

Okay, dear.

We'll shoot on it.

Yeah, we'll get the pipes checked.

Let's get on with the episode.

All right.

Our first problem was was sent in by Jonas.

Jonas?

Jonas.

Jonas.

Who went to the problem posing page at a problemsquared.com and typed in hello, Beck, spelling Beck incorrectly.

Yeah.

So points off.

Joan as.

Joan as.

John at.

John as.

Yeah, to be honest, I don't mind when people put a K on the end of Beck.

Okay.

Because when they're listening to it.

How would you know?

How would you know?

How would you know?

They're not saying Becks.

They're not calling me Becky or Becca.

I will accept Beck with a K on the end.

Okay, that's your preferable misspelling.

Misspelling.

This year in October, I married, this is Jonas talking, my beautiful wife.

And even though it's not really a tradition here in Germany, she did the something old, something blue, something borrowed, something new,

end quote, tradition for the wedding.

Jonas is now thinking for their first anniversary, which is rapidly approaching, they would like to get her something from each of those categories.

Their question is, what is the most extreme version for each of them that they can reasonably get?

They got one suggestion, maybe an example, like for blue, maybe something made with,

oh, what's that word, Beck?

Lapis lazuli, something very blue, or indigo.

So I guess they can find something very, very blue, but they're saying they're having particular problems with old and borrowed.

They would love to hear our ideas.

Beck, do we have any ideas?

Yes.

Great.

But first,

some context.

Oh, yeah.

What is this thing?

What are these four categories?

Yeah, just in case people aren't aware of this, the rhyme is something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.

Right.

There is actually a longer version, something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a silver sixpence in her shoe.

Oh, I can see why we got rid of that bit.

Yeah.

It's very...

Uncomfortable.

Uncomfortable, specific.

Yeah.

No longer legal tender.

No, exactly.

So, according to tradition, there's something old and something new.

They're meant to be like protection from the evil eye.

Oh, something like that.

The evil eye.

Yeah.

I couldn't find more information about whether.

Distracted by new things.

Yeah, maybe.

It also has been described as protection for a baby to come.

Like something old is like, I don't know.

It's the opposite of a baby.

Opposite of a baby.

Maybe that's what distracts the evil eye.

I was like, that's not a baby.

That's an old thing.

Okay.

um the new item is optimus optimism optimus

yeah that's old and new they keep reissuing optus yeah right uh the new item

i can't say it the new item offers optimism for the future the item borrowed from another happily married couple oh

you're stealing their happiness well it's meant to be like providing good luck and sort of bringing in like oh they're already happily married

so we'll borrow we'll borrow as a symbolic Yes.

And then the colour blue is meant to be a sign of purity and fidelity.

The sixpence, a British silver coin, is a symbol of prosperity or acts as a ward against evil done by frustrated suitors.

I'm not sure how a sixpence in your shoe would protect you from jealous ex-lovers.

So

this rhyme is very much for

that seems to come from...

English folklore.

It is something old.

There are a few links to Irish folklore as well, but it's a very,

very

Anglo-type

tradition

for anyone who's confused by this.

And the idea is that, yeah, you have something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue for your wedding.

The point is you have them all upon your person during the wedding.

Yes, and you can choose what they are.

I think traditionally, sometimes something blue is a garter, is a blue garter

that's worn by the bride.

So there's various ways that this has been attributed.

The earliest recorded mention, roughly of it was in 1871.

Short story called Marriage Superstitions and the Miseries of a Bride-Elect.

Wow.

It says a female narrator states, on the wedding day, I must wear something new, something borrowed, something blue.

There's no further information provided there.

Plenty.

It's all implied.

In terms of the rhyme as we know it, which is called the Lancashire version, was 1876, a newspaper.

which reported a wedding where the bride wore, according to ancient custom, something old, something new, something borrowed and blue.

but they're no no sources this is why we can't trust things without footnotes or sources yeah we can all say something's ancient custom well the victorians had a very loose grasp on ancientness yeah yeah yeah exactly also by today's day and age we're always going on about like fake news and how easy it is to lie to people we've been lying to people in the media forever since there's been a lot of now that's an ancient tradition yeah right yeah exactly and then the final line and a sixpence in a shoe was uh later

added.

Oh, yeah, last in, first out.

That's how idioms work.

That's right.

Yeah, exactly.

In 1894, the saying was recorded in Ireland in the annual report and proceedings of the Belfast Naturalists Field Club.

Wow.

Which is a club of naturalists based in Belfast.

Founded in 1863, the club was an important part of the education system for Victorian naturalists and worked largely through first-hand field studies.

But remind me, naturalists and naturists.

I'm always getting those two confused.

These are not the naked ones it's not mutually exclusive but they're not putting it in the title ah

now the oldest examples the oldest historical example they've got is from 1981 which doesn't feel that historical 1981 yeah i was alive then you're historical

that was a reference to prince charles and diana She wore a square of Carrick Macross lace that used to belong to Mary Queen of Tech.

That's T-E-C-K, not tech as in technology.

That's just something old.

That was something old.

Something new was silk spun at Lullingston Silk Farm in Dorset.

Silk, fresh out of the worm.

Fresh out of the worm.

Worm, fresh.

Fresh.

Something borrowed was an S tiara from the Spencer family collection.

If you're borrowing it from your own family.

From your own family collection.

Yeah, I don't.

Whose family has a collection?

Wait, does your family have a collection?

Of what sort?

Transformers?

Yes.

if you want to borrow an optimus prime great from the parker family collection yeah he can sort you out and then you've got something new as well fantastic there you go yeah

uh

and something blue she wore a blue bow sewn into the waistband of her dress

anyway to get back to the question which i haven't answered either yet or in preparation no

because i wanted to get your help now nor before now i wanted to get your help oh did you yeah because i thought yes i'm just jonas or yonas you could restrain yourself from doing the preparation you so desperately wanted to do so you could leave it fresh for me to get involved well this is my something new yeah oh really oh yeah everything from here in is new yeah that's right

work out rather than an extreme version of each thing i think it'd be easier and much more in line with this podcast to do something that was more efficient and could combine all four into one item.

No, okay, okay.

I still kind of like the extreme concept.

I think maxing them out for maximum.

We could do both.

Yeah.

But I feel like it's, you want to max out all your stats at once.

Like you want to get the most borrowed a thing could be.

Oh, okay.

All right.

We can do this.

We can do this.

Just typing out some notes.

Yeah.

Okay, Google.

What is the most borrowed thing?

The most borrowed thing would need to be something you've stolen stolen in a heist

uh

because the extreme version of borrowing is stealing it and then returning it unnoticed you'd have to bring it back afterwards yeah but that's extreme borrowing oh that is extreme borrow yeah if you heist it from a museum yep it could be old and it's on loan from another collection oh my double borrowed what if you borrowed the s tiara from

Princess Dart from the Spencer collection.

See, now it's

why I didn't try and solve it.

This is why we're doing it live.

Because you're bringing it to the table.

I'm just saying.

You want to get a chain of 100 people who each borrowed the same thing off the previous person in the chain.

Like 1,000 people.

So by the time you get it, it's like kilo borrowed.

Yeah.

And it has to go all the way back up the chain.

What if

we got...

Is there something that our listeners can borrow from one another?

Oh, producer Lauren would like to put something in.

Producer Lauren is jumping in.

Oh, that's interesting.

So Producer Lauren has found at the New York Public Library the most borrowed book, which has been borrowed 485,000 times.

Oh, wow.

It is The Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats.

So you could find your local library or like your national library, wherever you may be, and borrow the most borrowed book, because that would be the most borrowed item in the country, potentially.

I see that Lauren has also pointed out that it was selected from millions of books that that have been checked out from the library since 1895.

So, is it that that particular book is the most borrowed one, as in that one copy, or is it

a copy?

Oh, do you reckon it's reckoning there's multiple copies of it over time they've had to replace it?

My mum is a librarian, so I feel like I do have a direct line to someone who would not

get the line on that.

I would also

argue

that

sometimes

the most borrowed things line up perfectly with the most lost things.

Oh, right.

So you think each time it's borrowed, there's a percentage chance it doesn't come back.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's true.

Like the amount of pens.

But I wonder if there's still survivor bias.

Like the reason it's the most borrowed is just it's the one that never got lost.

But I do take your point.

But even then books, again, I feel like...

I'm sure it would have got replaced.

Of all the things I lend people, it's always books.

Books are high up there.

Yeah.

I did lend a card game to someone recently.

Is it considered a bad look to show up for your own wedding and walk down the aisle carrying a reading book in case things get boring?

There is the factor of you have to have this on you during your wedding.

So, like, if we discovered the most borrowed item ever is one of those umbrella hats.

Well, people do lose their umbrellas a lot.

So you've got to borrow

the venue umbrella hat.

Yeah, and it would protect you from the confetti.

Yeah.

So that's what you got to wear.

Yeah, a traditional.

I was just saying the additional criteria of can carry it all wedding day.

Yeah.

While not the top concern is in the mix.

Yeah.

I feel like we've moved too far away from the heist.

Oh, right.

You want to go back to heist?

I was just saying.

I do love a heist.

I feel like we nailed it out of the gates on that one.

So we've got a heist.

Now, the tiara from the Spencer collection.

Or.

You just steal something from a friend of yours who will be at the wedding and they'll be like, is that my umbrella hat?

I love you.

You keep coming back to me,

slide it back in afterwards.

Now, I did find the Spencer tiara, it's at Sotheby's.

Oh, really?

So, Princess Diana's younger brother, the Viscount, Viscount, Viscount, Viscount, you don't even pronounce the S?

No, it's not an S.

So, I guess it's from the Penser.

Viscount Pencor.

Ah, crap,

Viscount Ulthorpe, it's now the ninth Earl Spencer, right?

Pencer, it's pronounced E.

The tiara is now in his ownership.

It was last exhibited by Sotheby's in 2022.

Oh, okay.

On loan.

On loan.

You got to steal it while it's on loan.

So next time it's being exhibited,

do a heist.

Do a heist.

But then what you have to do is return it.

You got to go back.

Oh, yeah.

I'm sure that'll work as well.

Yeah, yeah.

Use it to the police.

Classic defense in court.

I was just borrowing it.

The thing is, is that Jonas

wanted to get this as an anniversary gift.

Uh-oh.

So you can't really give something borrowed unless you then take it away.

Exactly.

And then it's not a gift anymore.

Well, a gift can be like, you can give someone an experience, like a gift card for like a climb the Superhuma Bridge or something.

Or a heist.

Right.

I feel like a gift can be an experience.

And that could be lending someone something could be a gift.

Okay.

So done.

Done.

That's something borrowed?

May I do something old?

Well, that is something old as well, to be fair.

Well,

if you want to go extreme,

I'm wearing something now older than the Earth.

Oh.

It's my meteorite wedding ring.

Of course.

So meteorites, well, they formed at the same time as the Earth, but everything on the Earth, there's no rocks that are four and a half billion years old on the Earth.

But this meteorite is four and a half billion years old because it landed at the same time as the Earth and then just hung out in space.

Now, you don't want to get, because there are some meteorites which are things knocked off the moon or mars and they're going to be younger you want like your original

you know asteroid belt meteorite

if you get one of them four and a half billion years old

and for you to know what like that it is fresh from the meteor yet

that is also something new

new

Your ring was crafted.

It was crafted.

It was a prehistoric land.

It hit the earth tens of thousands of years ago.

Guys, I think we've already got our answer.

You need to borrow Matt Parker's wedding ring.

Incorrect.

And then we've got three things ticked off the list.

Wow, it would be new,

a new problem for me.

Yeah.

It's a new, a newish item created from a very old item

that doesn't belong to you.

Exactly.

And I want it back.

If you can heist it from that point.

If someone can heist it 100%.

How about it?

Yeah.

I will.

I'm instinctively clutching it under my arm.

And we have

we've got friends who listen to this as well, neighbors even who listen to this.

Yeah.

So there are people willing to.

Willing and able.

Yeah.

Don't try and reach out to me privately.

I am famously unreliable.

I will forget and flood the kitchen.

So I'm just saying.

If you want old, meteorite.

If you want.

Oh, and if they do that, you'll be blue.

I will be blue.

If they steal it from you, they need something blue.

You know what?

I would be prepared to lend something.

You're wedding, really?

I've got somewhere like an old Parker pen.

What's a Parker pen?

It's a

pen that I own.

So,

go screw yourself.

I could put a new blue ink cartridge in it.

Ooh.

What's more blue than a blue pen?

Yeah.

It's the essence of delivering blue.

That's true.

And I could lend them my old pen with a new blue ink cartridge in it.

That would be everything.

Yeah.

It's not the extreme one, but it is your.

Can we do it all in one object?

Yeah.

Stick it to an umbrella hat and you're sold.

I'm in.

No, I want an umbrella hat as collateral.

Yes.

Until I get the pen back.

Oh, I think that's a fair swap.

Yeah.

Jonas, Jonah, Jonah.

If you can get an umbrella hat to Matt Parker, I'll lend you my money.

As a deposit, he will lend you an old pen with some new ink to give to your wife and then take away from it.

Turn it back over.

Yeah, that works.

I think we've done it.

I love how quickly you went from that's a terrible answer, Beck.

I think that's to the extreme of everything to no, let's do that instead.

That's the journey.

Jonas, Jonas,

Janas.

I hadn't tried that one.

That's the one.

Hona.

Because the S is silent.

Yeah.

Had already mentioned Lapis Lazooi.

That's the one.

Lazooli.

Yeah.

Mined for its ultramarine qualities.

Oh, is it?

Just off the top of your head.

Just thought of that.

Are those the words I commonly use?

Yeah.

Other things that have been listed as very blue things.

The poison dart frog.

Known as the bluest animal in the world.

Oh, wow.

Asteroid 3200.

No.

Phaethon.

is a special space rock with a rare blue colour.

No.

An extremely eccentric orbit that has the object pass super close to the sun and then out past the orbit of mars borrow that yeah nab it chuck it back in near the earth in 2017 it made its closest approach to earth since 1974 passing within 6.4 million miles so not that far 10.3 million kilometers yeah

as an owner operator of an asteroid well mine's probably not blue enough it's more of a gray

but i can lend it to them Lend lend asteroid map parker.

I mean they have to pay shipping.

That is, do you know what the shipping is on a thing that's over 10 million kilometers away?

Oh, it's

even further away.

It's a free scale, isn't it?

Anyway, that's my answer.

Great.

Get yourself a piece of 3,200 faith on.

I feel like we've given a bunch of options.

There's too many options, some would say.

And

Hanas can

tell us.

You guys can borrow any of these ideas.

Can tell us which one.

they like.

Yes, report back.

Report back.

Go to the problem posing page, problemsquare.com, click the solution dropdown, and let us know for a future episode as to which of those options suits you.

And we will declare this dinged as and when Jerry Nas gets back.

Or don't say anything and secretly heist Matt's wedding ring.

Well, that's an option.

Yeah.

It's on the table.

So this is for now

un dinged.

Unweddinged.

Unwedinged.

Our next problem comes from Naxfish.

Oh, that rings Abel.

Who incidentally was one of our guest Zards?

Hey.

Short form

Wizards.

Yeah, on

the bonus podcast.

Yes.

For Patreons only.

I'm a wizard.

And Naxfish says, there's this trend on social media about your diamond birthday, which is the year that your age is the same as the last two digits of the year you were born.

For example, if I was born in 2012, I wasn't.

I like how they're specifying that just in case.

I'm not a 12-year-old.

My diamond birthday would be at age 12 in 2024.

That's now.

Yes.

Going from your year of birth to the year of your diamond birthday is straightforward.

Just add the last two digits of the year to the year of birth.

Or if you like, year of birth.

Well, they actually wrote breath.

I'm assuming they mean birth.

Let's hope so.

Year of breath plus year of birth percent 100.

So percent.

I would do that in a second.

Okay.

But going from any arbitrary year as someone's year of birth is less straightforward.

If someone says my diamond birthday is next year, 2025, is that even even possible?

If so, how old could they be, assuming a reasonable maximum age of, say, 100?

Matt, I don't understand this question.

Okay.

They lost me at social media.

Yeah, I feel like it's coming across more complicated than it needs to be.

My first question, though, is...

It's all right.

We need

to a friend and Zard Naxfish.

Have you heard of this diamond birthday thing?

No.

I have not.

I didn't know if that's because I'm just not sufficiently on social media.

I would say so.

You're pretty on social media.

I never have, but on the, I'm not on cool social media.

Ah, gotcha.

Maybe this is what the young kids are into.

Millennial social media.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, me too.

So I don't know.

I mean, I get it.

It's fun.

I didn't come across it, but I'm always for another ridiculous celebration.

Yep.

So if there's a reason for a party or making one birthday more special than the others,

why not?

So I was born in 1980.

That means my diamond birthday is 80.

which will be in the year 2060.

Hang on, hang on.

So you were born in 1980.

So your diamond birthday is is 2060.

Why is that?

Because that's the year I turned 80 and I was born in 80.

Oh,

okay.

Yeah, this is much simpler than I realized.

Yeah.

But also, I can't, you know how there's that thing where there are people who can process and read at the same time, and there's people who can read, but they're not thinking about what they're saying as they say it aloud.

Oh, okay.

Yep.

I'm the latter.

Ah.

So I can read something out, but I'm not processing what it says.

So I don't understand the question.

Yes, exactly.

I'm a mere medium for the problems.

It passes through through you, leaves you unchanged.

Yeah.

So I

was born in 1986.

So your diamond birthday will be when you turn 86.

Okay.

So that would be 86, take 14.

This is how my brain works.

That's what I said.

That's what I do.

72.

And so in the year 2072, that would be your diamond birthday.

Diamond birthday.

By these rules.

Okay.

Now, I think we've kind of already given away part of the answer here because

our diamond birthdays are terrible.

They're in the distant future.

And we had no idea.

We hadn't come across them on social media.

For anyone born after the year 2000,

their diamond birthday is way sooner.

Yeah.

So if you were born in 2012,

this year is your diamond birthday year.

That's probably why it's Jen Alphas living it up.

Yep.

Because they're actually having theirs now as opposed to us waiting a very long time.

That's the difference.

Yeah, that's the difference.

If you were born in 2000.

Yes.

Well, how does that work?

Your diamond birthday is the birthday you were born on, your zeroth birthday.

Or you could argue maybe your 100th birthday.

Yeah, is there a rollover?

Well, there's a few.

Well, this is all about rollovers.

So

a few observations.

Our diamond birthdays are twice as far apart as our actual birthdays.

So we were born six years apart.

And our diamond birthdays are 12 years apart.

Oh, yeah.

And that would be true for everyone.

Okay.

Ignoring the the kind of century crossover.

Not all years are diamond birthday years.

So this year it is because it's an even year.

In odd years, no one is celebrating a diamond birthday.

Because there's got to be two numbers.

Two numbers added together.

It's easier if you think about it after the year 2000 because you're just adding your birth year to itself.

So if you're born in 2012, it's 12 plus 12.

If you're born in 2011, it's 11 plus 11.

You're adding the same number to itself, you're doubling that number.

And you're always going to get an even answer when you double a a number.

The same is true for us because you very carefully worked out what year you would turn 86 by working out how many years until the year 2000 and then how many years after that.

What you could have done is doubled 86, which is 172, and then just taken off the hundreds and that's 72.

Whoa.

So it's still the same process, but you just ignore the hundreds.

Yeah.

So for us oldies, you still just double the year you were born in, the two digits, but then you ignore the hundreds.

People born after 2000, they just double it and job done.

Yeah, until they get to 51.

Yes, until the year 2050, and then you're overshooting the next century.

Okay.

To go backwards, you do exactly the same thing.

So in the year 2024, this is being celebrated by two batches of people at once.

There's all the people born in 2012.

Yep.

And there's all the people born in 1962.

Because 62 plus 62 is 124.

Boom.

Nice.

So to work it out, for every even year, you half the year to get the younger batch, and then you add 100 and half it to get the older batch.

Or you want to be lazy, they're always 50 years apart.

Okay.

Because you're adding 100 and then halving, you're adding 50.

Yeah.

So it's people born in 2012, people born in 62.

Huh.

So in 2026, people born in 2013.

And 50 years before that, people born in 63.

Okay.

And then it just progresses forward one year at a time.

So to summarize,

only even years are possible diamond years.

All right.

And if you want to work out what years is happening in, it's 2000 plus a half of it.

And it's 1900 plus half of 100 plus the year.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It sounds complicated when you say it because you kind of cover all the bases at once.

But if you just kind of look at it logically each time, and it's only mildly confusing because we keep flipping between four-digit representations of years and two-digit reputations of years, which, if you want to write it down, that's where the percent comes from.

That means modular, which means like remainder after you've divided by.

Ah.

So when you start writing it down or you start trying to articulate it, you've got lots of ignore the digits or divide or this or the other.

Logically, it's much more straightforward.

The end.

My main question is: why?

I can almost guarantee it started this year.

Why is that?

Because it would have been a 12-year-old going, oh, I'm turning 12 and I was born in 12.

Yeah, right.

And someone went, I want to join in.

Well, I want to join in, but

I was born in 13.

You go, well,

in a couple of years, you'll turn 13 and you're born in 13, et cetera, et cetera.

So that's my theory.

That's good on them.

Yeah.

Celebrating an unusual mass fact about a birthday or your age, I'm on board.

If you invented this, write in.

Yeah.

Or if someone can find the earliest reference to this, love to find out.

Oh, yeah.

Get in touch.

I'm going to give you a ding for that, Matt.

Hey, all right.

Problem solved.

Yay.

I'm so old.

This episode, Beck, we have a special segment.

What?

Do you remember last episode I mentioned, because we were talking about big things.

Yes.

I said

I'd be visiting the Big Ram.

Oh, yeah.

As I was driving south in Western Australia.

Yes.

And we've been talking about big things for a long time on the podcast.

So for new listeners, way back episode 10, producer Lauren looked into this.

Episode 010 was the Big Macadamia nut.

Okay.

How much would it be worth?

And then last episode, we talked about the big tractor.

Yes.

I said I would do the first ever on-location reporting

from a big thing.

yes so we have big excitement about big things

we have on location mat what's this segment called it's called big excitement about big things oh okay that's the name of the segment yeah cool good there might be a better name i'm open to suggestions okay so we're gonna go live to on location mat on location mat are you there

Thank you, Studio Matt.

Yes, I am here at the Wagen Big Ram.

We are in Wagen, which which is in Western Australia in pretty much the middle of nowhere.

It's taken us several hours drive from Perth to arrive but the big ram is absolutely worth it and it is definitely a big thing.

Here are your numbers.

It is nine meters tall.

It's actually 16 meters long and six meters wide but at nine meters tall that's big.

It's a scale of 10 to 1.

So your standard Merino ram would be about 90 centimeters tall.

So at nine meters we have a 10 to 1 scale.

That's a big thing.

Is it an accurate representation of a ram?

Yes, I can assure you it is accurate, possibly more accurate than it needed to be.

They've gone all out.

And is it permanent?

You better believe it.

That is a phenomenal four-ton, nine-meter-tall, big ram.

Back to you in the studio.

Thank you.

On location, Matt.

It is daytime over there.

That makes sense.

Yeah, it's accurate.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's nighttime here, daytime there.

So on location mat they're running us through all the things to be a big thing yes has to be big like just physically big yes has to be big in terms of the scale yes so you can't just be a exact one-to-one copy of something that's already big no so it needs to be enlarged and is it to scale in all respects and to scale in all respects i think one of the other criteria has to be like an accurate representation it can't be like an artistic version of something or you're right like the scale is only in one direct dimension

yeah it can't just be a big picture exactly It's gonna be a big thing.

And I would say, fourth criteria has to be permanent.

Yeah.

Not just like some temporary installation.

Yeah.

This is a permanent big RAM.

Now, the other great thing we can do is because we have on location Matt reporting from the big RAM, I thought we could do a Q ⁇ A.

So if you've got any questions

for on location Matt, they'll be able to answer them about the RAM.

Okay.

Oh, it has to be about the RAM.

It has to be about the RAM.

Oh, that's a shame.

Not just anything.

All right.

Not things like, how is this working?

And why did you think this was a good idea?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay.

Please speak directly to OnLocation Matt.

What is the ram's name?

That's a great question, Beck.

The sheep has a name.

It's named Bart.

Bart, the big ram.

That's great.

There you go.

It's named Bart.

Yeah, that's good.

I also like how you've had to guess the sort of questions that I might ask.

Look, OnLocation Mat is very good at answering questions.

Okay.

How many questions do I get?

As many as you'd like to ask.

Really?

So there's infinite answers.

Well, let's just say there's as many as my very patient family

would wait while on location matt was answering them.

Thank you, Parker family.

On location Matt, how

old is the Ram?

That's a great question, Beg.

I actually spoke to a local a second ago, and even though its actual birthday is the 9th of May, it will be celebrating its 40th birthday with a big party here on the 10th of May in the year 2025.

And apparently, we are all invited.

The ram is older than me.

Yeah, there you go.

A year older than you.

Yes.

I did the maths in my head.

I did not.

All right, okay.

How often does the ram need to be repainted?

That's a great question, Beck.

And of course, I do know the answer, but I'm going to hand back over to Studio Matt to answer this one.

What a cop-out.

Hang on, no, he's doing it.

That's very kind of you on location, Matt.

So,

Ram.

Unbelievable.

Has not yet had to be repainted.

Did you just quickly Google that while I was watching?

You know, would you believe while I was there.

Like, it's right next to a council office.

And so Donna from the council popped out to say hi

and have a chat.

That's very cool.

And they were very excited that we were there doing a live podcast link up.

It's funny how you're using past tense for that.

Let's just say on location, Matt was there for long enough to draw attention.

Yeah, I was going to say.

Okay, well, can I ask one final question?

Let me ask one final question.

Why is Bart there?

Great question, Beck.

This area is known for its sheep farming.

In fact, in Wejan, they have the Woolarama.

I would say the world's premier wool themed festival.

They are all about sheep farming.

And so many decades ago that was celebrated by

installing this incredible big ram.

This is on location Matt signing off for big excitement about big things for a problem squared.

He just left.

It's really rude.

Thanks on location Matt.

Here we go.

I don't know.

I should sound more excited.

First ever live link up?

Yeah.

No, this, okay, I feel like live is maybe misselling it.

Our first ever on location link up with on location Matt.

On location, Matt is better looking than this one.

He's slightly younger.

Only slightly.

He looks happier, though.

He does look happier.

That's because he's in.

Look at the sky.

He's in the sun.

Yeah.

In spring.

You should swap with him next time.

I should.

On location, Matt's a lot like spring.

I like to think that the next on location thing, you will be wearing the same outfit.

Oh, great.

Now I've got to

do that.

So anyway, there you are.

So

that's the Big Ram.

And if anyone does go to the Big Ram's 40th birthday in May next year, let us know.

Yeah.

We want to hear all about it.

So that was a fun section.

Thank you.

A fun new segment.

I love it.

Have you got any others lined up?

I'll have to go to more big things.

Yeah.

Well, maybe I will.

Oh, yeah.

You go to a big thing.

On location back.

I'll lend you the t-shirt.

And finally, it's time for autumn other business,

which is going to be pretty short because I think technically big excitement about big things was any other business.

I've only just realized that we did any other business and I did any autumn business because I didn't know how.

But A was right there.

It's taken me an entire episode to realize that.

We all arrived there in our own time back.

It's about the journey and the destination.

Like autumn.

So we're just going to deal with one

very common question slash comment that listeners sent in.

And it's that the tide has turned and everyone has left the social media format known as Twitter.

And they've moved over to Blue Sky.

Yeah.

And we...

I say that.

I am still technically on Twitter, but I am not.

I'm still technically on Twitter.

I'm on, I was going to delete it, but people in like publishing and TV industries and whatever, for some reason, are still impressed by the number of Twitter followers.

Yeah, and I've got a bunch of stuff that links to it.

And every now and then, I'll be like,

you know, I'll be asked nicely to promote something that I'm contractually involved with.

And so that's all I use it for.

But now it has been decreed, we're all going to Blue Sky.

Yes.

And Beck, you're now on Blue Sky?

I finally joined.

I'm at Beck Hill Comedian or Beach Hill Comedian, the same as all the other social medias.

I joined as of the time of recording.

So please.

I'm about 50, just over 50,000 followers short

of where I was on Twitter.

So if anyone wants to boost that, that'd be great.

And I, about 18 months ago, just over a year ago, just joined all the competitors.

Because I figured eventually it would shake out.

It'll be one of them.

I thought I'd done that, but I'd missed Blue Sky.

So what I've learned...

I've been certainly for a long time.

Oh, that'll be why.

Yeah.

Yeah, because otherwise, what that means is I would be terrible at choosing stocks and shares.

I backed every other thing.

Except for one that, yeah.

And I've enjoyed 12 months of seeing things and going, oh, that would have been a good tweet.

Yeah.

And then just having to enjoy it myself in silence.

Be like, oh, this funny situation I found myself in or a sign I've giggled at because I've written a joke is just for me.

Actually, I thought of our joke today.

Really?

So I I might make that my first.

Well, actually, my first post is just butts because I felt I'd start on brand.

That's it.

You set the bar at butt height.

But if anyone wants to know what the joke is that I thought of today, then check my Blue Sky account.

And I've been on there for ages, stand-up maths.

And as of semi recently, we have a problem squared on Blue Sky.

Yes.

We should also mention we have a Discord.

Which, if you want to interact in a more Discordy way, that's available.

Everything will be linked in the show notes.

Yeah.

Speaking of Discord,

for anyone who listens after the credits,

which I assume is everyone.

If you're listening at this point, oh my gosh, can you imagine, though, if you only just found out that we do stuff?

And you go past, and then you go, you can go back through all the podcasts and find them.

Yeah, someone out there is going to take all of our post-credit stuff and turn it into one mega edit.

Yeah.

Maged it, I call them.

Yeah, put it on Blue Sky and share it with us.

Yeah, yeah.

Or on Discord to get back to Oh, yeah, sorry.

Get back on track.

So we've been playing Battleship after the credits.

We have.

There are people tracking this.

Of course there are.

Dewey underscore loan is doing it on a spreadsheet.

It's really good.

There's also a thread called the post-show battleship thread doing the exact thing.

Brilliant.

I haven't looked at that thread.

Maybe they're giving advice.

I mean, I feel like my strategy is pretty obvious what I'm doing.

Yeah.

If I could, if you wanted to show me a more visual representation of who we are on a spreadsheet, that would be it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Love it.

So, shall we, shall we get through the credits so we can actually have our play our next moves?

Let's do it.

You've been listening to a problem squared.

Thank you so much to everyone who listens.

Please share this with other humans you're aware of.

Thank you so much to our Patreon supporters.

And every episode, we pick three of their names at random to thank, which this time include

Benoit

on

Ilon

St.

Eve

D.

Advidson.

Roell, Roel.

That's probably how it's pronounced.

Probably how it's pronounced.

Wow.

Didn't you just say it slower?

We'd like to thank all our Patreon supporters and everyone who listens.

You're all amazing.

We love you all.

And so that's it for the episode.

It's been me, Matt Parker.

It's been Beck Hill and our producer Lauren Armstrong Carter, who is a bit like autumn in that wears some great jumpers.

Autumn doesn't wear jumpers.

No, but you wear jumpers at autumn time.

It's all about good jumpers.

Sure.

Thanks for listening.

Fun, though.

Hey, look, it's the post-credits bits we referred to earlier.

I think that we were talking about.

Yeah.

Hi, person who maybe only just realized we do this.

Welcome aboard.

So, um, now who goes first?

I've forgotten.

Is it?

I think we've just been

freestyling it.

I think so.

Oh, I don't know, but just in case not.

Yep.

I'm going to guess

J2.

J2.

Miss.

Ooh.

Oh, I just dropped a bunch of tags.

We should be using the spreadsheet on Discord.

Okay.

F.

So I had a previous hit at F6.

F5.

Hit.

Oh, it's the first ever second hits.

I'm catching up.

Although I feel like you're going to have a hit next time.