Patreon Bonus Episode Teaser - July Bonus - My Immortal Fan Fiction

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Hi, everybody.

Cecil here.

Throughout the year, our podcast releases bonus episodes.

And we figured we would let the wide audience get a chance to listen to part of one of those bonus episodes, the one that just released today for patrons.

It's our July bonus, and it is a...

ongoing project we have been doing for, I think at this point, a year and a half when we sort of cycle it in as a bonus episode.

There is a fan fiction called My Immortal, and we've been reading it.

And so I decided to clip out a portion of that show and play it for the wide audience who could get a taste of what that's like.

This actually works out really well because Heath gives a great recap of the story up till now.

So enjoy this first few minutes.

of the latest bonus episode.

If you wanted to become a patron and listen to this episode, as well as all the other My Immortal episodes and all the other bonus episodes, you can go to patreon.com/slash citation pod.

That's one word, citation pod.

And you can become a patron on a per episode basis and you get access to all of the bonus episodes that we produce.

So hope you enjoy.

And we'll have a new episode on this main feed, as always, next Wednesday.

Thanks for tuning in.

Hey, patrons, thanks for joining us.

We are working our way through My Immortal, the fan fiction of Harry Potter and recently Lord of the Rings.

And we have also Back to the Future.

Back to the Future.

That's Star Wars for sure.

Back to the Future spoilers.

So let's work our way.

Bible.

Have you heard of it?

We're going to get to chapter 35 today.

Abondi.

I turn it over to you.

Yep.

Thank you.

We're going to start with chapter 35.

Ghost of you.

Author's note.

Fangs to Susie for the idea.

There is a number of ideas in this book.

You rock.

Fuck off, preps.

Number one.

Fangs to Raven for D-Help.

You rock, girl.

One P.S.

I'm going to end a story.

Ruleson, so fuck you.

Oh, yeah.

And if you know any gothic names, please tell me, because I need one for serious things.

Yeah, no, this is the kind of literary project where you need a new name by the end of it.

Yeah, I get it.

I get it.

Yeah, so yeah.

Gong 2N Dastroy One Fangs.

Exactly.

You're all caught up.

But just in case anyone's a little slow, here's the situation.

Keith voluntarily wrote this summary for you, Podcast.

I literally couldn't so long say, like, no.

Never say he doesn't like it.

So following along with the plot, y'all tell me.

Your first mistake.

I've summarized what I believe has happened.

So, Volzemort told Abandi that she has to murder Vampire, that's Harry, or else Volzemort is going to kill Harry and also kill some

other people.

Ebony checked with Professor Trevolry.

I think that's supposed to be Trelawney, who's an expert in divination.

And Professor Trevolry said that Ebony has to go back in time and seduce Volzimort to make him fall in love and therefore not become evil in the future.

So basically, the plot of Back to the Future, if the guy had actually fucked his mom, is what you're saying.

So

Ebony has sex with Draco inside a coffin while Harry films it.

That's what happens next.

Ebony and Draco have an orgasm at the same time.

And that is the least believable part of this whole story.

Okay, we're going to count down.

Three, two, those children are doing that.

And then adults named Snape and Professor McGoogle McGoogle show up and yell at the kids.

Yeah, I should have had McGoogle on McSafe mode, I think.

So Snape steals the camera from the kids that has the child porn on it.

He steals it.

Harry and Snape have a gunfight, possibly involving ballet or maybe bullets or maybe both.

Not clear.

Nobody gets hit.

McGoogle does a spell that puts all the kids in chains and she leaves.

Then Snape takes out a different video camera from his pocket.

He sets it up and threatens to rape Harry Potter unless Draco stabs Harry with a knife.

You're going to need to be more specific about the fan fiction you're talking about.

Okay, but don't worry.

Sirius Black and Professor Travolry show up just in time.

They They lock up Snape in those magical chains, and Professor Trevolry takes Ebony to the time machine room.

There's a time machine room.

She gives Ebony a fun outfit to wear while seducing Volzimort.

Ebony looked Kawhi, by the way.

So Ebony goes back in time whilst looking Kawhi to Hogwarts in the 90s, and she meets Tom Bombadil,

the druid guy from Lord of the Rings.

He was having like a meal with Captain Kirk and Abraham Lincoln.

It was one of those your best dinner party guest icebreaker questions.

Hey, Heath, how does it feel to know that your brain probably pushed out economy knowledge to make room for all this?

How much you paid for the information that got pushed out of your brain to make room for Tom Bolzadillo?

Inverted Gailmore.

No.

Yeah, no.

Abonye.

I pushed that out with Bong hits.

So that's true.

Tom Bombadil is also young Volzamort.

He's also Satan,

Prince of Darkness, and that's the name he prefers right now.

He likes to go by Satan.

Ebony flirts with him for a while, and then she falls through the floor of the school and back into the present.

Why is this?

Professor Sinister is there.

She's Ebony's favorite teacher.

And we learn that Professor Sinister is addicted to drinking Volzamort serum.

Kaliante?

It's going to be a no.

So, good question mark there.

Meanwhile, Snape and Lupin are getting tortured by Sirius Black.

Ebony and Draco go watch the torturing for a bit.

They grab a little blood from Snape that comes from the torturing, and they go have sex in a coffin again.

Ebony got an orgy.

And Draco.

Oh, you shouldn't have.

Well, also, very importantly, Draco said, I love you.

Big step at that moment.

The next day, Ebede goes back to the time machine and she goes back to the 90s to seduce teenage Volzimort and also find the antidote for addiction to Volzimort serum to help out her favorite professor, Professor Sinister.

Okay, this is sounding like Anna's summaries at the beginning of D ⁇ D Minus.

I remember none of these.

Same author.

So Ebede

Ebony gets in the time machine and lands in the cafeteria next to Volzimort, and they eat some Count Chocula together.

Nice.

Then he asks her on a date.

They're going to watch The Exorcist, the movie in all the universes, I guess, and then go see a Marilyn Manson concert.

So we'll be picking up the action from there with Ebony still in the 1990s at Hogwarts High School after being asked out by Satan slash Volzimort slash possibly Darth Valer slash Tom Bombardier the Druid from Lord of the Rings.

Well done, Heath.

Well done.

I'm doing a tiny golf clap into my mic.

Thank you.

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