Press play and read along
Transcript
Speaker 1 the Creator of Homeland, Claire Danes and Matthew Rees star in the new Netflix series The Beast in Me as ruthless rivals whose shared darkness will set them on a collision course with fatal consequences.
Speaker 1 The Beast in Me is a riveting psychological cat and mouse story about guilt and justice and doubt, now playing only on Netflix.
Speaker 4 Grand Canyon University is one of the largest universities in the country.
Speaker 4 Praised for its community and impact, GCU integrates a welcoming Christian worldview and open discourse into over 300 online programs.
Speaker 4
Redefine your online education through GCU's industry-driven, academically rigorous programs. In 2024, online students received over $161 million in institutional scholarships.
Find your purpose.
Speaker 4 Private, Christian, affordable. Discover available scholarships at gcu.edu slash myoffer.
Speaker 1 Audible Originals and the Today Show present Murder in Studio One, written by Norman Corwin.
Speaker 6 Hello,
Speaker 1 I'm your narrator, speaking to you from Studio One, a radio station here in New York City. The year is 1941.
Speaker 7 I'll turn up later to guide you through the ins and outs of this labyrinth mystery.
Speaker 1 But first,
Speaker 1 a quick introduction to this evening's players.
Speaker 6 Are you ready?
Speaker 1 The role of Inspector Cameo Cloth will be portrayed by Hoda Coppi,
Speaker 1 The one and only Savannah Guthrie steps in as her faithful sidekick, Minerva Hammersmith.
Speaker 1 Carrie Sanders plays Lynn Slope, our studio's ever-present fix-it-man.
Speaker 1 Then there's Tom Yamas.
Speaker 1 He's our man-in-blue, Lieutenant O'Hanrahan.
Speaker 1 The divine Chanel Jones
Speaker 1 Plays with Psychic, Astrid Reeves,
Speaker 1 the Coroner.
Speaker 1 Crucial to all murder mysteries will be Craig Melvin.
Speaker 1 Al Roker is Helen Rappelle.
Speaker 1 He, as you know, is a radio up-and-comer who everybody wishes would just go home.
Speaker 1 And here she is, Stephanie Ruhl, who plays the no-nonsense radio writer Miss Felice Fathergill.
Speaker 1 The very brainy Peter Alexander is the uber-intelligent Professor Worthington Frummick.
Speaker 1 The lovely Jenna Bush Hager is our ingenue.
Speaker 1 That is Pretty.
Speaker 1 And finally, Harry Smith is this.
Speaker 1
Harry is the stuffiest of stuffed shirts. The station's sponsor, Humphrey J.
Plimsole. Hmm.
Speaker 7 Thank you.
Speaker 6 Now,
Speaker 5 without further ado, we bring you
Speaker 1 Murder in Studio One.
Speaker 1 No,
Speaker 1 no,
Speaker 1 oh,
Speaker 1 oh,
Speaker 11 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, just calm down, calm down and take it easy. You act as though something terrible's happened.
Speaker 9 It is terrible.
Speaker 6 This is awful.
Speaker 13 This is the worst thing to ever happen to radio.
Speaker 11 Don't get so excited about it. Where's the body?
Speaker 15 Right here.
Speaker 9 Poor, poor Van Krim.
Speaker 11 How long has he been dead?
Speaker 16 I don't know. Only yesterday I was.
Speaker 17 Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Speaker 11 What's that paper he's got in his hand?
Speaker 5 It looks like a piece of script to me.
Speaker 11 Let me read this thing. Audible and the Today Show present...
Speaker 11 What is Audible? And Today, anyway, presents a mystery melodrama entitled Murder in Studio 1, written by Norman... Corwin and starring Hoda Kabobi as Cameo Clough.
Speaker 11 Can you imagine Hoda Kalobi as Cameo Clough?
Speaker 5 Who's who's Cameo Clough?
Speaker 11 That's me, you idiot.
Speaker 11 Haven't you ever heard of Inspector Cameo Clough?
Speaker 18 Well, no, you see, I'm just a maintenance man in the studio building here, and I'm.
Speaker 11 Maintenance or no maintenance. Don't you realize that I am the expert who solved the Purple Opal murder? And the strange case of the Fedora?
Speaker 11 and the incident of the checkered pajamas well well no ma'am i just i i had really
Speaker 14 well i am
Speaker 11 and to be perfectly frank i shouldn't be fooling around with a small potato of a case like this one i should say hot potato ma'am considering who van krimp was
Speaker 20 poor van krimp who was van krimp why the most important radio announcer in the country he was
Speaker 11 i'll make a note of that but for heaven's sakes
Speaker 11 why isn't my secretary here to take notes?
Speaker 5 Where is everybody?
Speaker 11 Why am I always the first on the scene of the crime, even before the coroner? Hereafter, I am going to take more time.
Speaker 11 It is improper for a detective as distinguished as I am to show up before anybody else. That is not the way they do it in the movies.
Speaker 16 No, I agree that isn't, that ain't how it's done, but poor Van Krimp.
Speaker 5 Krimpidepryology Oh, he was such a...
Speaker 11 What I really want is
Speaker 11 of ancient Persia and play the horses but no every fortnight somebody turns up with a new mystery it's ridiculous I've solved enough murder mysteries to start a radio series I'll tell you I mean I'll just tell
Speaker 22 hey boys
Speaker 9 I've been looking all over for you big miter kiss just broke It's about time you showed up.
Speaker 11 This is Mr. Slope, who works around here, and this is Minnie, who never works around anywhere.
Speaker 11 Yeah, okay, what's this big murder case you say just brought?
Speaker 22 A guy named Vin Crimp and found miter in a radio station. They've been calling you on the phone ever since.
Speaker 11 You wouldn't mean the murderer in Studio One, would you?
Speaker 23 Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 22 How'd you know?
Speaker 11 What studio do you suppose this is?
Speaker 22 Is this Studio One?
Speaker 22 That joke's on me.
Speaker 24 That's a hot one. I want to gag.
Speaker 22 Where's the stiff?
Speaker 18 On the dead side of the studio, right here.
Speaker 22 Dead side. Ha, ha, that's a good one.
Speaker 22 Why do they call it the dead side?
Speaker 15 Because sound is dead on that side, of course.
Speaker 11 Make a note of that, Minnie. Make a note.
Speaker 12 Okay, dope.
Speaker 22 That ain't all that's dead on that side, though.
Speaker 12 Hey, ha, ha, what a gag.
Speaker 5 Well,
Speaker 18 here's the body, ma'am.
Speaker 16 He was such a nice fellow.
Speaker 9 Wow, Van Krimp.
Speaker 22 So I rush up here to tell you there's been a mitre in this studio. Ha, well, the joke's on me, huh?
Speaker 12 That's a laugh, all right.
Speaker 11
Manny, stop enjoying yourself long enough to find out what is delaying Lieutenant O'Hanrahan and the coroner. Ring up headquarters and ask when they.
Nope, never mind.
Speaker 5 Here they are now.
Speaker 11 Elementary deduction, my dear Lieutenant O'Hanrahan.
Speaker 21 Miss Clough, this is Dr. Lionel Bumbridge, the coroner.
Speaker 17 Grinnets.
Speaker 21
Mrs. Minerva Habersmith, Miss Clough's secretary.
And this is Astrid Breeze.
Speaker 8 She's the psychic.
Speaker 25 How do you do?
Speaker 21 She saw the Congressional Investigation Committee murder and the case of the missing case.
Speaker 11 How do you do?
Speaker 14 How do you do?
Speaker 11 Lieutenant,
Speaker 11 why did you call me on this case if you've got Miss Breeze? Are you auditioning detectives?
Speaker 16 No, Breeze is a consultant, right?
Speaker 17 Ain't that right, Breeze?
Speaker 23 Ah, I sense death.
Speaker 9 Especially
Speaker 27 over here.
Speaker 22 You mean the body? Shall make make a note of that, Cameo.
Speaker 11 No, don't bother, Lieutenant. I am resigning from the Van Krimp case, effective immediately.
Speaker 12 Now?
Speaker 28 Now I'm sensing a fear of failure, insecurity, early retirement.
Speaker 22 What kind of double talk you call that?
Speaker 11 Oddly enough, she can't sense a knuckle sandwich.
Speaker 8 Please don't leave the case, Cameo.
Speaker 17 You want crime to triumph?
Speaker 12 Crime don't pay.
Speaker 13 Poor Van Krimp.
Speaker 16 Only just last Monday, he was telling me.
Speaker 20 Right, all right.
Speaker 11 I'll stick with the case, but it's against all my principles.
Speaker 21 Good, that's the stuff, Cameo. That's the spirit.
Speaker 11 Yeah, well, let's get down to business. What is that paper sticking out of Van Krimp's side pocket?
Speaker 26 Looks like it's got a typing on it.
Speaker 20 It looks like a commercial announcement.
Speaker 11 Let me see this.
Speaker 11 Don't forget to remember to insist on the name Fudgy Cream for real honest to goodness creamy delicious wholesome tempting tangy helpful different appetizing mellow rich lusciously nourishing energizing irresistibly fragrant refreshing crunchy he was supposed to read that tonight at nine o'clock well he's better off this way now dr bumbridge We've seen you poking around there long enough.
Speaker 11 Have you determined the cause of death?
Speaker 29 Oddly enough, the victim was not killed violently.
Speaker 14 Very strange.
Speaker 11 Yes, it is strange.
Speaker 29 The evidence points to strangulation, but there isn't a mark of any kind to indicate the manner of strangulation.
Speaker 11 Minnie, make a note of that.
Speaker 11 Okay, dope. I take it, Doctor, that you have completed your examination.
Speaker 17 Except for autopsy.
Speaker 11 Are you through for the present?
Speaker 5 Yes, ma'am.
Speaker 11
But you haven't used your stethoscope to examine the corpse, Dr. Bumbridge.
Why is that?
Speaker 17 Surely, Miss Clough, you are joking.
Speaker 11 Make a note of that, Minnie. Doctor, I am not joking.
Speaker 29 But you know that a coroner never examines stethoscopically.
Speaker 27 When I arrive, it is not to examine a patient.
Speaker 11 Don't hand me platitudes at a time like this, sir. Once again, may I suggest you use your stethoscope?
Speaker 29 This is preposterous.
Speaker 11 Specifically in the area of the duodenum.
Speaker 29 Absolute nonsense. The man is dead.
Speaker 22 Why'd you do what you told you, Joy?
Speaker 11 Just leave this to me, Minnie. I'll handle the repartee and you just stick to your shorthand.
Speaker 12 Okay, dope, just trying to help.
Speaker 11 And besides, it's jerk, not joke.
Speaker 8 Very well.
Speaker 17 Very well. If it will humor you any, Miss Klopp, I will listen to his pulse and respiration, which ceased at least two hours ago.
Speaker 18 Why, only yesterday, Van Krimp was going to tell me that he was doing commercials for Miracle Beer. He says to me, Lem, he says, you know what?
Speaker 11 Well, Dr. Bumbridge, what do you hear?
Speaker 9 Um, um, um, nothing, nothing, nothing,
Speaker 11 no, nothing. Then, why, sir, are you so pale?
Speaker 9 I, um, I'm not well, I guess.
Speaker 11
Yeah, yeah, give me the stethoscope. I'm gonna listen for myself.
Can I see that, sir? Thank you.
Speaker 9 Thank you.
Speaker 11 Just Just as I thought. Lieutenant, listen to this.
Speaker 17 Let me see this. Mm-hmm.
Speaker 29 I can't believe it.
Speaker 22 Well, what is it? No people's on Tenta Hooks?
Speaker 21 It's a quartet.
Speaker 17 It's music. They're singing music.
Speaker 16 What kind of music?
Speaker 29 It's my favorite song, the boogly woggly piggy.
Speaker 24 They swing it. Yeah, it's swinging loud.
Speaker 11 whoa would the honorable miss breeze care to listen thank you so much
Speaker 11 i feel it now i feel it now shh
Speaker 11 this man had a love for music are you kidding perhaps the ever-perceptive miss breeze can advance the theory at this point the past the present tomorrow of the week Give over, Miss Breeze.
Speaker 22 Let me listen.
Speaker 22 Hmm.
Speaker 9 How is this thing going? Yeah, it is good enough.
Speaker 21 Have you an explanation for this cameo?
Speaker 5 I'm lost.
Speaker 11 Simple.
Speaker 24 I had another thing in Maisie.
Speaker 23 Maisie.
Speaker 24 I'm Mazie.
Speaker 24 You're driving me crazy.
Speaker 11
Come away from there, Minnie. Come away from that.
Come away from there. Now, it's obvious.
It's obvious. Van Krimp was murdered by the administration of a dose of deadly poison in
Speaker 5 But how can you tell without an automobile?
Speaker 11 I am coming to that bum bridge and when I get there you'll do well to have an explanation for your strange report
Speaker 14 of not hearing anything.
Speaker 11 Now, as I was saying, Insidium is a newly discovered poison, the effect of which is to choke off the oxygen supply of the blood while at the same time producing a mood of profound cynicism in the victim.
Speaker 5 Cynicism?
Speaker 11
Yes, Observe. Look at Van Krimp.
He died with a sneer on his face.
Speaker 15 Why, so he did.
Speaker 21 But how does that explain all the music coming from his duodenum?
Speaker 11
Simple. In sidium is a radioactive substance.
It gathers in the duodenum and it sets up a sort of receiving station for radio waves and other electrical impulses.
Speaker 11 It acts like a crystal set, you might say.
Speaker 22 She knows the stop there, voice, doesn't she?
Speaker 29 Miss Clough, this poison you speak of is unknown to medical science. So how do you quit?
Speaker 11
Quite so, doctor, but there are only three persons in this country who have studied it. And I, I'm one of them.
I finished writing a paper on the subject.
Speaker 21 Cameo, I gotta hand it to you.
Speaker 21 You solved this mystery.
Speaker 11 Now, we have to find the murderer.
Speaker 8 I mean, you certainly are so...
Speaker 21 Wait, wait, what'd you say?
Speaker 11 In the meantime, Lieutenant, I suggest you place Dr. Bumbridge under arrest for suspicious conduct.
Speaker 9 Now, wait a minute! Oh, poor Van Krimp.
Speaker 11 Also, detain Mr. Slope, who's been mourning Van Krimp just a little too hard to suit me.
Speaker 9 Thank you.
Speaker 5 But I'm only the studio maintenance man.
Speaker 19 I was only
Speaker 11 any others who profess to know Van Krimp intimately.
Speaker 17 Hey, hey, how you doing?
Speaker 9 Hey there, good to see you.
Speaker 26 Hello, Bert. Am I in the right studio? Is this studio one?
Speaker 11 Yeah, it is. And what do you want?
Speaker 26 Why, I have an appointment to see Van Krimp, the announcer. And by golly, I'm just on time until...
Speaker 11 What is your name?
Speaker 26 Well, you mean to say you don't know me?
Speaker 26
Well, my name is Elwyn Rappel. Tops and tenors.
Singing nightly at Isles Place, Route 22, where frolics begin, no cover, no men. I've got a lot of flashy, dramatic routines.
Speaker 26 Young, sober, will go anywhere.
Speaker 11 Well, where do you think you're going now?
Speaker 26 Well, you mean to say you're asking me if I'm going places? Well, that's probably what you mean. However, technology series, what I'm saying to you is, where am I going now?
Speaker 26 Well, as a matter of fact, Van Krimp is a great booster of mine and a real happy-doodle-dandy kind of chap.
Speaker 26 He came out to Ail's place against himself, Shell Crab, that they feature along with my singing. And he told me not to fail when I was in town next time to drop in on him.
Speaker 11 So, you're a good friend of Graham Van Krimps, are you?
Speaker 26
Oh, am I a good friend of his? Why, I say, I'd give him the shite right off my back. He's way up there with the best of them.
He's right at the top. He's a sky-high guy.
Nobody like him.
Speaker 11 You mean he's out of this world?
Speaker 26 Right, right as rain.
Speaker 11 Do you recognize who's lying there on the floor?
Speaker 26 Absolutely. Oh, absolutely.
Speaker 26
Good old Van Krimp. Tough break.
Well, I see you folks need a little cheering up, and I'm just the guy to do it for you.
Speaker 26
That's right, I like to sing. Always glad to be of service to my fellow man.
I tell you, folks, a smile is a great thing. You remember that old song?
Speaker 17 A smile will take it fair and bow.
Speaker 5 Okay, okay, let's take the smiling outside.
Speaker 10 Come on, let's get your lost. You're making a big and big mistake here.
Speaker 30 Hey, Hey, hey, ma'am, you look like you've got a good ear.
Speaker 14 Hey, you're a pain in it.
Speaker 11 Now go on home, son.
Speaker 30 I can tell you have a dandy ear, and I get the boy and girl angle on this one. All right, here we go.
Speaker 5 Glad to do it. Wait, wait, wait.
Speaker 10
All right, come on, big mouth. We gotta go.
Let's go.
Speaker 9 All right, all right, all right.
Speaker 12 Now,
Speaker 11 we are rid of him.
Speaker 11 We're rid of him, and I suggest we go about our business. There are a number of people I want to see.
Speaker 11 In the meantime, I suggest Van Kremp be be given a decent autopsy and a burial so he can stop receiving the boogly woogly piggy and Maisie and other programs out of the same wavelength.
Speaker 1 So you think you've got it solved?
Speaker 1 Don't be too sure.
Speaker 1 We'll reveal more clues when we return to Murder in Studio 1.
Speaker 1
Most holiday gifts end up in a drawer or the back of your closet or accidentally left at your cousin's house. Not this one.
Mint Mobile is offering unlimited premium wireless for $15 a month.
Speaker 1
That's their best deal of the year, aka a holiday gift you'll actually use every single day. Don't get them socks.
Get them premium wireless for $15 a month.
Speaker 1
Shop Mint Unlimited plans at mintmobile.com slash dateline. That's mintmobile.com slash dateline.
Limited time offer. Upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for 6 months, or $180 for 12 months.
Speaker 1
Plan required, $15 per month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra.
Initial plan term only.
Speaker 1
Greater than 35 gigabytes may slow when the network is busy. Capable device required.
Availability, speed, and coverage vary. See mintmobile.com.
Speaker 2 Hey, everybody, Ted Danson here to tell you about my podcast with my longtime friend and sometimes co-host Woody Harrelson.
Speaker 2 It's called Where Everybody Knows Your Name and We're Back for Another Season.
Speaker 2 I'm so excited to be joined this season by friends like John Mulaney, David Spade, Sarah Silverman, Ed Helms, and many more. You don't want to miss it.
Speaker 2 Listen to Where Everybody Knows Your Name with me, Ted Danson, and Woody Harrelson sometimes, wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 31 If you're a smoker or dipper ready to make a change, you really only need one good reason. But with Zen nicotine pouches, you'll discover many good reasons.
Speaker 31
Zinn is America's number one nicotine pouch brand. Plus, Zinn offers a robust rewards program.
There are lots of options when it comes to nicotine satisfaction, but there's only one Zin.
Speaker 31 Check out Zinn.com/slash find to find Zin at a store near you.
Speaker 31 Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical.
Speaker 1 So, you've decided to stick around. Is the curiosity killing you?
Speaker 1 Perhaps that's what happened to our unfortunate stiff here.
Speaker 1 Or was something more sinister afoot?
Speaker 1 Let us find out as we return to Murder in Studio 1.
Speaker 1 Cameo and her assistant head to Central Park to digest the facts of the case and some hot dogs.
Speaker 22 Well, boys, here's the evidence and the mustard you wanted.
Speaker 11 Ah, well done, men. Now, take this down.
Speaker 11 Van Kremp was poisoned sometime during the late afternoon of October 7th.
Speaker 11 Insidium can kill if it touches the tongue, and it takes about a half hour to work.
Speaker 11 The victim feels fine until it strikes, and then it's all over in one minute. That's right.
Speaker 22 That's what it says in your paper on the subject.
Speaker 14 Very good.
Speaker 11 Now, when this poison took effect, Van Krimp was in the studio. Otherwise, the receptionist outside Studio One would have been aware of the body being carried in.
Speaker 22 Yeah, that's right. They don't usually carry bodies in and out of the studio, no.
Speaker 11 Okay, so that means Van Krimp either crawled or was dragged unnoticed behind the portable screen at the dead end of the studio and there expired. So far, so good.
Speaker 11 Yeah, there were three different programs, either rehearsing or broadcasting, while Van Krimp was in studio one on the afternoon of the seventh.
Speaker 22 All right, the science talk by Professor Wydington-Thromack.
Speaker 11 The adventures of Zaza Zealis.
Speaker 20 And the rowdy riddamgoyls.
Speaker 11
Yes, each must be investigated. I also see the sponsor of Van Krimp's snap and zip variety show, Mr.
Plimsol.
Speaker 11 I understand he quarreled with Van Krimp the day before he was murdered.
Speaker 22
Yeah, sure, Plimpsal. His wife died of tomain poisoning last year.
Hmm.
Speaker 11
Most curious. Put that down, too.
Now, first, we must see Professor Thrummock.
Speaker 1 A few minutes later, in Professor Thrumak's laboratory.
Speaker 26 But I tell you, Miss Clough, I only met the man once.
Speaker 11 And that was at a poker game?
Speaker 8 Why, yes, to be sure it was at a poker game at his home in Brooklyn.
Speaker 22 That's where I live, Brooklyn, the land of the freedom, the home of the Dodgers. What do you see our boys next to you?
Speaker 11 You lost heavily to Van Krimp that night.
Speaker 21 Yes, that's true.
Speaker 11 And you promised to pay up before November 1st.
Speaker 15 Yes.
Speaker 11
And you also lost a telephone bet on the World Series to him. Yes.
Now, Professor Thrummack, you are a scientist and you lecture on the radio.
Speaker 14 Yes, ma'am.
Speaker 11 You also happen to be one of the three persons in this country who know the secret of incidium.
Speaker 21 Why, yes, yes, I do, but it's.
Speaker 11 And Professor will be also present.
Speaker 8 The duo is now at the Algonquin bar, questioning Felice Fothergill, author of the Zaza serial.
Speaker 7 The night is dark, but she is already lit. lit.
Speaker 28 Yes, I write the adventures of Zazar the Zealous.
Speaker 11 So what? Well, Miss Fathergrill, your stories are very imaginative in a macabre sort of way, aren't they?
Speaker 28 So what? Yes, they are.
Speaker 11 Van Krimp once told you publicly that he thought your stories stink.
Speaker 11 So what? And you replied that he'd feel sorry one day for what he said. You also called him an overbearing snob and a stuffed shirt and an exhibitionist who ought to be put out of circulation.
Speaker 28 Which he wants.
Speaker 11 So what? You accused him of standing around waiting for people to ask for his autograph. He would rather sign an autograph than eat.
Speaker 14 So what?
Speaker 11 That's what I'm asking you.
Speaker 25 Then keep on asking.
Speaker 11 That is what I intend to do.
Speaker 28 Listen up, clop.
Speaker 28 I'm gonna sue you for disturbing my peace of mind. I am a very, very busy woman, and I'll sue you too, you little squirt, taking notes on everything I say.
Speaker 25 Do you hear me?
Speaker 9 Do you hear
Speaker 23 me?
Speaker 28 Don't write that down.
Speaker 22 Don't write that down.
Speaker 1 Cameo and Minnie track down Gladys to the one place she's sure to be every Sunday, Mays Clip and Curl.
Speaker 1 Yes, I was Van Cripp's girl.
Speaker 11 And you sing on the Rowdy Rhythm Girls program, Miss Pinckney? Yes, I do. And you saw him in the studio the day of the murder?
Speaker 14 No, no, I didn't. I didn't see him, I tell you I didn't.
Speaker 12 She says she didn't.
Speaker 11 Well, you saw him the night before?
Speaker 11 Yes, we had a party.
Speaker 25 Okay, it was in his home. He was very happy about winning a big, big bet.
Speaker 25 Later, we went down to Kelly's cavern for a drink.
Speaker 7 He was very boisterous.
Speaker 9 And I quarreled with him.
Speaker 11 Oh, so you quarreled, did you?
Speaker 25 Oh, no, it's not what you suspected.
Speaker 10 Was only.
Speaker 11 Was he sober?
Speaker 25 Oh, yes, he never drank.
Speaker 11 That's all for now, sister.
Speaker 1 The investigation continues on the factory floor of Plimsaw, Zippers, and Snaps.
Speaker 1 Come on.
Speaker 11 What about that, Mr. Plimsall?
Speaker 8 Well, you know, I'm surprised that you should ask such a question.
Speaker 9 Mr. Klobb, Ms.
Speaker 8 Clough, I've always enjoyed the most cordial relations with my employees and all those members of my wonderful little family who represent society-selected snaps and zips manufacturing company on the air.
Speaker 8 And that includes good old Van Krimp, too. May he rest in peace, poor.
Speaker 11 But you had sharp words with him the day of the murder, yeah?
Speaker 8 Well, I am surprised, though, that my employees have, you know, I like to surprise them with little surprises, like, now you take this year.
Speaker 8 The folks are expecting a bonus this year, but I've got something up my sleeve, far better than a bonus.
Speaker 8
And when they get in step with this thing, they're going to be pepped up good and plenty, that's for sure. It's a friendly Christmas plan.
All an employee has to do is save his slips that he's issues.
Speaker 8 That is providing, of course, he has been with the firm for a minimum of 19 years.
Speaker 8 And if the slips are okay by the foreman and division superintendent, then they're put through the verifier and checked by any competent notary public.
Speaker 8 They are then issued to the board, and the employee simply waits his turn. This, of course, is a matter about 10 days' clearance.
Speaker 11 Go on. This is positively spine-chilling.
Speaker 8 It is terrific, isn't it? Then there's simply a thorough medical examination.
Speaker 8 If the employee passes, he is entitled to A, a choice of half a day off, or B, one half of 1% discount on articles purchased at the factory commissary.
Speaker 8 I found it always pays to search for methods of establishing warmer relationships between myself and my employees. And wouldn't you agree?
Speaker 11 There are crimes worse than murder, Minnie.
Speaker 1 So, who's the scoundrel with blood on his hands? We'll reveal the culprit of the murder in Studio One
Speaker 1 when we return.
Speaker 3 Hey, this is Will Arnett, host of Smartless. Smartless is a podcast with myself and Sean Hayes and Jason Bateman, where each week one of us reveals a mystery guest to the other two.
Speaker 3 We dive deep with guests that you love, like Bill Hayter, Selena Gomez, Jennifer Aniston, David Beckham, Kristen Stewart, and tons more.
Speaker 3 So join us for a genuinely improvised and authentic conversation filled with laughter and newfound knowledge to feed the smartless mind. Listen to Smartless Now on the Sirius XM app.
Speaker 3 Download it today.
Speaker 31 If you're a smoker or dipper ready to make a change, you really only need one good reason. But with Zen nicotine pouches, you'll discover many good reasons.
Speaker 31
Zinn is America's number one nicotine pouch brand. Plus, Zen offers a robust rewards program.
There are lots of options when it comes to nicotine satisfaction, but there's only one Zen.
Speaker 31 Check out zin.com/slash find to find Zen at a store near you.
Speaker 31 Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical.
Speaker 32 If you're an experienced pet owner, you already know that having a pet is 25% belly rubs, 25% yelling, drop it, and 50% groaning at the bill from every vet visit, which is why Lemonade Pet Insurance is tailor-made for your pet and can save you up to 90% on vet bills.
Speaker 32 It can help cover checkups, emergencies, diagnostics, basically all the stuff that makes your bank account nervous. Claims are filed super easy through the LemonAid app and half get settled instantly.
Speaker 32 Get a quote at lemonade.com/slash pet, and they'll help cover the vet bill for whatever your pet swallowed after you y'all drop it.
Speaker 1 The suspects have been questioned, their stories
Speaker 1 less than convincing.
Speaker 6 Now it's time to reveal who killed poor old Van Krimp.
Speaker 1 Cameo and Minnie regroup outside studio one.
Speaker 11 Is everybody here, Minnie?
Speaker 22 Yeah, well, the suspects is inside, including Lieutenant O'Hanrihan and the District of Toyne, if you want to call them suspects.
Speaker 11 Stranger things have happened.
Speaker 22
I also got it. It's Mr.
Elwyn Rappelle. What a smack.
He's like a cartoon in the New Yorker.
Speaker 11 Very well. Let's go in and clear up this mystery.
Speaker 11 Good evening, everybody.
Speaker 11 I am so sorry, especially you, to upset your plans for the evening, but there's a little matter of a murder to clear up, and then you can all go home.
Speaker 11 All but one, because the murderer is in this room.
Speaker 10 What? What?
Speaker 22
Stop trembling, Mr. Plimpsaw.
You're making all the other guests naive.
Speaker 7 I don't want to swallow this thing. No, that's not answers for sure.
Speaker 22 That's okay. They say the ashes is good for the teeth.
Speaker 11 If you don't mind, Miss Hammersmith, I'll conduct the investigation.
Speaker 12 Okay, okay, you're just trying to help.
Speaker 26
Hey, if anybody needs any help, I'll be glad to do it. Glad to do it.
You know, I've got this new song that's going to be a good idea.
Speaker 9 Okay, okay, thank you.
Speaker 11
Just sit quiet and continue to pick your teeth. Now, let's begin with you, Dr.
Bumbre.
Speaker 17 I'm innocent.
Speaker 29 I'm innocent. You can't prove a thing.
Speaker 11 When you heard the boogly wogly song come out of Van Krimp, you wanted to keep it to yourself. You could have offered your earphones to confirm the findings, but you chose not to.
Speaker 11 Whom were you trying to shield?
Speaker 14 Nobody.
Speaker 29 You see, I was so shocked by the music that I just
Speaker 11 Shocked?
Speaker 9 A coroner?
Speaker 11
Shocked. Make a note of that, man.
Noted. All right, now to you, Mr.
Rappel.
Speaker 17 At your service with a smile.
Speaker 20 You
Speaker 11 are a top tenor, but you were also low man on an assault with intent to murder charge in Texas in 1932.
Speaker 26 All right as rain, gotta admit it too, but I've changed since then.
Speaker 30 And now I find that a smile makes you smile.
Speaker 26 You wanna sing a little.
Speaker 11 You didn't tell us before that you went to the fourth game of the World Series with Van Kremp and rooted for Brooklyn while he cheered for the Yankees and that you both got into an argument about Joe DiMaggio.
Speaker 26 Well, right, right you are.
Speaker 30 But now Van Kremp said.
Speaker 11 Yeah, never mind. Mr.
Speaker 5 Slope.
Speaker 11 You looked upon Van Kremp as almost a son, didn't you?
Speaker 5 I loved the boy.
Speaker 18 Whenever he was in trouble, I would just...
Speaker 11 No, he did have a habit of touching the point of a pencil to his tongue tongue when writing.
Speaker 18 Yeah, I often urged him to correct that habit. I told him it was unhygienic.
Speaker 11 It certainly was. It may or may not come as a surprise to you to learn that Van Krimp died as the result of touching his tongue to a pencil whose point had been dipped in incidium.
Speaker 11 That is all for the moment, Slope.
Speaker 9 Thank you.
Speaker 11 Now, Professor Thrummack,
Speaker 11 you had a long and furative talk with Mr. Slope after your program on the day Van Krimp died and in the same studio where the act was committed.
Speaker 24 We talked about atoms and molecules.
Speaker 11
I see. You realize that one of your favorite brands of pencils was found in the restaurant downstairs that day? I always sign my checks there.
Do you always dip your pencil in poison?
Speaker 14 But no, I denied it.
Speaker 11 I see.
Speaker 11 Now,
Speaker 11 Miss Fathergirl, you told us that you were gonna.
Speaker 14 So
Speaker 14 what?
Speaker 11
Well, maybe you're right. Now, Miss Pinckney, over to you.
No,
Speaker 11 no, I tell you, I didn't do anything.
Speaker 22 Take it easy, cookie. All she said was, now, Miss Pinckney.
Speaker 11
Before Van Krimp went upstairs to studio one, he was seen giving his autograph to a lot of girls in the lobby of the station. Yeah.
And you, you, you, were looking on very jealously.
Speaker 11 Yes, fine. I was furious with him.
Speaker 12 He was flirting with those girls. He sure was a mile a minute, too.
Speaker 11 And you, Miss Pinckney, already angry with him because of his behavior at Kelly's tavern in Brooklyn the night before, you, you turned on your heel and you stomped out.
Speaker 12 She dined on a heel, all right.
Speaker 11 No editorial comment, Minerva, okay?
Speaker 11 Is it true what I just said, Miss Pinkney?
Speaker 14 Yes.
Speaker 14 Very well. Now.
Speaker 14 Now, Now,
Speaker 11 I am ready to reveal the murderer.
Speaker 11 Take notes on everything I say, Minnie.
Speaker 24 Okay. Okay, don't.
Speaker 11 The murderer of Cornelius Van Krimp is
Speaker 11 Minerva Hammersmith.
Speaker 12 Are you kidding?
Speaker 11 Minnie.
Speaker 11 A little while ago, when I remarked to Miss Pinckney that Van Krimp was flirting with autograph seekers on the day of his death, you remarked that he was.
Speaker 22 To coin the phrase, so what?
Speaker 11 So what were you doing there?
Speaker 22 Did I even have the other half-libs?
Speaker 11
I thought so. It was up to you that I dictated my paper on insidium.
Therefore, you knew the properties of the poison.
Speaker 22 Strictly your property as far as I'm concerned.
Speaker 11 And you let it slip that the opinion that you have of Van Krimp was a heel. Check.
Speaker 11 He lived in Brooklyn, where you've lived all your life, and it's known that he rooted for the Yankees in the recent World Series and witnessed to the argument with Rappelle and his wager with Thrummock.
Speaker 22 Go on, you're getting hot.
Speaker 11 Van Krimp celebrated on the night of October 6th at Kelly's Tavern.
Speaker 11 He was delighted because the afternoon the Dodgers had lost to the Yankees when the catcher dropped that third strike on what should have been an easy play at the end of the game.
Speaker 9 Go on.
Speaker 22 This is strangely fascinating.
Speaker 14 You.
Speaker 11
Were at the tavern that night. How do you know that? Well, it was your only day off that month, and so you're telling me.
Next day, you showed up to work with a new style matchbook from the tavern.
Speaker 11 You, a loyal Dodger fan, were infuriated because Van Krimp, also a native of Brooklyn, had turned traitor to the team. So the next day, you...
Speaker 14 This is not far enough!
Speaker 14 Sure!
Speaker 14 I murdered Van Krimp!
Speaker 22 I picked up Thummick's pencil, which he left in the restaurant, and dipped it in a spot of insidium, and then I asked Van Krimp for his autograph, and he put it to his tongue as I've seen him do once before.
Speaker 14 You did?
Speaker 22 Yep, I murdered him. And I do it again, too.
Speaker 11 You mean, you mean, if you met Van Krimp in another life?
Speaker 22 Anywhere, anytime, including the Bronx.
Speaker 12 Minnie.
Speaker 11 Minnie, why did you do such a terrible thing?
Speaker 22
I don't mind a Brooklyn citizen rooting for the Yankees. That's bad enough, I say.
Live and let live, though.
Speaker 12 That's my motto.
Speaker 11 Well, with one notable exception.
Speaker 22 Yeah, but yeah, but insults is another thing. You want to know what Van Krimp said that night at the tavern? He says, them Dodgers are bush leaguers with illusions of grandeur.
Speaker 22 He says, may they go back to the second division where they belongs and never rear their ugly heads again. And then he says, get this, may all their children drop thy strikes.
Speaker 11 Man,
Speaker 11 man, if you'd only told me, did my gorge rise?
Speaker 22 He says,
Speaker 22 The only way to explain the Dodgers winning the pennant this year is sunspots. Him, a resident of Brooklyn.
Speaker 22 And And then he says, it's another, if it's another 21 years before Brooklyn finishes in the Foist Division, which it will be at least, that'll be too soon for me. He says, coist them bums.
Speaker 22 He says, they never was no good, and they never will be. That's what he says.
Speaker 11 The man was a monster.
Speaker 22
I knew then that Van Cripp was a traitor to his country and to mankind. I knew he'd have to go.
It was a far, far better thing I'd done for Brooklyn.
Speaker 11 Vinny, I understand.
Speaker 11
I understand and I sympathize. But believe me, it is with reluctance and a heavy heart that I turn you over to the district attorney.
I saw my duty, and I've done it.
Speaker 22 Okay, Doc, boss. No hot feelings.
Speaker 22 Nobody can pull off the Poitfit crime, but I come close.
Speaker 11
I feel certain, though, men, that no jury in the world would convict you, except possibly in St. Louis, which fortunately has no jurisdiction in this case.
Officer O'Hanrahan, the prisoner is yours.
Speaker 21 I am honored to take such a distinguished prisoner into custody.
Speaker 12 Thanks, Flatfoot.
Speaker 22 Things are going to be different next year. You'll see.
Speaker 11 Yeah, Minnie, things is going to be different.
Speaker 1 This has been an Audible Original, produced by Audible Originals and The Today Show.
Speaker 1 Written by Norman Corwin, directed by Robin Sindler, starring Hoda Kotbi, Savannah Guthrie, Carrie Sanders, Tom Yamis, Chanel Jones, Craig Melvin, Al Roker, Keith Morrison, Stephanie Ruhl, Peter Alexander, Jenna Busch Hager, and Harry Smith.
Speaker 1 Piano performed by Dee Dee Jackson. Live folio art performed by Lear Leary with assistance assistance from Dylan Dreyer.
Speaker 1
Executive producers Kate Navin and Robin Sindler. Producer Frankie De La Vega.
Associate Producer Emily Barkley. Theatrical sound design by Jason Crystal.
Speaker 1 Audio recording and production by Jeff Dudzik. Senior Vice President, Head of Audible Studios, Zola Mashariki.
Speaker 1 Executive Vice President, Head of U.S. Content, Rachel Giazza.
Speaker 1 Vice President of Audible Studios, Mike Charzik.
Speaker 1 Murder in Studio 1 was recorded in April 2022 live at the Manetta Lane Theater under the management of Margaret Cotter.
Speaker 1 Copyright 1941 by Norman Corwin. Sound recording copyright 2022 by AO Media LLC.
Speaker 1 We hope you've enjoyed our little mystery. Thanks for listening.
Speaker 1
This time of year, many are checking off their holiday gift lists. But identity thieves have lists too, and your personal information might be on them.
Protect your identity with LifeLock.
Speaker 1
LifeLock monitors millions of data points every second. and alerts you to threats you could miss.
If your identity is stolen, LifeLock will fix it guaranteed or your money back.
Speaker 1 Save up to 40% your first year at lifelock.com/slash dateline. Terms apply.