Don't Mind | Cruxmont | Ep. 13

Previously on Don't Mind Cruxmont.

Fleeing through the tunnels, Neil encountered a decayed human form racked with fungal growth.

Stumbling and sickened at the sight, the group fled in search of an exit.

Desperate to avoid their pursuers, Colin led Neil and Gwen through the den of old Cruxmond, a mass of bodies and mushrooms, flesh, and spores so large that it filled the cavern deep into the rocks below.

Once through the horror, Colin helped Neil and Gwen reach the surface, but refused to leave, insisting that it was too late for him, and that if they waited too long, it would be too late for Gwen as well.

Back above ground, Gwen and Neil snuck back to the car, tired, fearful, and worried.

In the middle of the night, Neil awoke, angry over the loss of his brother, and returned to Cruxmont to light the old Cruxmont caves on fire.

But before he could toss down the match, he was attacked.

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Don't mind, Cruxmart.

We only have a few minutes minutes left, Gwen.

I'm here if you want to talk.

It's unhealthy to keep it all inside.

Taylor called me yesterday.

She's worried about you.

There are people who love and support you, Gwen.

Loss is not your identity.

They want you to know that this terrible thing does not control or define you.

Which

terrible thing, Leslie?

My slow, unstoppable decline, pulling pieces of myself away bit by bit until I'm the same as the empty human shells I face at work every single day.

Or watching the only reliable light in my life snuffed out, taking my last bit of love and hope with it.

Or

knowing that if I walked to my mother's home right now, I would be greeted as a stranger by the woman who worked herself to sleep every night to provide for me.

So, which terrible thing, Leslie?

Which one?

We can talk about everything and anything you want.

But today,

I thought you might want to talk about Desmond.

How am I supposed to do this?

Any way you can.

No.

How am I supposed to do this?

Go on every day feeling like this.

What does it feel like?

Like

fear

and anger

and pain.

So let's look at the pieces.

The fear.

What are you afraid of?

Oh, the fear is old.

And it's not

because Desmond is gone.

It's the fear of losing everything that

makes me real.

And now I've lost more than myself.

I've lost him, so it's all real.

It's all happening.

I'm becoming a shell of a person.

But this is the first time I've felt like one.

But it's not a feeling that stems from Deadsman's death.

He's gone.

I'm not afraid of him leaving anymore because he's already gone.

You feared that he would leave you.

It is hard to watch the people you love fade away.

I would have understood if he couldn't do it,

if he couldn't stay.

I would have understood because I've wanted to do the same.

It gets

so hard to watch it happen,

to watch the parts of you in someone

disappear.

But I won't get the opportunity to understand or even remember

that he could have left or could have stayed.

It will all be gone,

Out of my control.

And I'll be alone.

You sound angry, Gwen.

I'm furious.

About what?

He's gone.

He wasn't even driving.

He was sitting there.

He always sat there having a coffee reading news, not doing anything to anyone, and now he's gone.

How can this happen?

Accidents are unpredictable and terrible.

But I don't think Desmond would want you to be angry at the life you have left.

And there is no driver to be angry at.

He's gone, too.

He had a stroke.

You know this.

There is no one to blame.

So,

who are you angry with?

I am angry

with me

because

for a second I thought

maybe it was a good thing

the accident.

I was glad

he would never have to watch me fade away.

And I was glad he was gone.

He would never have to care for me or see me look at him with confusion like he was some stranger.

In that moment, I was relieved he went first.

And I hate myself for it.

How can I be happy he's gone?

How can I think that of him?

You're not happy he's gone, Gwen.

You're glad he never had to experience a pain you feared from the moment you first had coffee together.

You are not happy he's dead.

You would never be happy for that.

You're just relieved that he was saved from a different kind of pain.

And I think Desmond would understand that, because he understood what you have gone through and what you will go through.

You loved him,

and he knew that.

Do you, um

do you think I'll remember him?

You remember him today.

But will I

in the years ahead?

What is important is to celebrate the love and memories you've forged for as long as possible.

In the end, when everything is over,

we all forget.

Neil,

Neil, where are you?

Is that you?

Find the keys.

Neil?

Go!

Just leave!

Just try!

What did you do?

What did you do?

What did you see, Joe, Neil?

No!

Let me go!

It doesn't deserve to be sick!

Where's Colin?

How do I save my brother?

I'm Colin!

Now stop!

Colin?

Colin!

I knew you weren't down there.

I wasn't gonna burn it with you in there.

Help me bring more paint than her over, over, and we can burn it down before it can hurt anyone else.

There's diesel, too.

No, but Neil, you can't burn it.

What?

Yes, I can.

We can, and we should.

That thing is not supposed to exist.

You don't even know what it is.

It exists, and you don't have the right to destroy it.

The right?

Who else is gonna do it then?

We don't have a lot of time.

They'll hear us.

Come on.

No.

We're gonna burn it to ash.

No more of this Stockholm Syndrome shit.

Give me the matches.

You come here with things you don't know, trying to do what you think is right, but it's not.

No!

You need to stop!

They kidnapped you!

They locked you down in a cave!

Both of us!

And they knocked us unconscious.

These are not actions of good people, Colin.

They're just trying to protect their family.

You have no right to kill those people or old Kruxmon or destroy their version of the afterlife.

What the hell are you talking about?

Those things aren't alive, Colin.

Even if they make noise or breathe, they can't be alive.

And if they are, what I saw down there was some kind of long-drawn-out torture.

And you didn't seem phased by it.

How did you get out of the caves?

Neil, I just need you to relax.

Please.

Come with me.

No.

That thing needs to burn.

People will be back again tomorrow for the festival.

They don't even know what's under them.

Neil?

And they never need to know.

Colin, what's going on?

We're getting you out of here.

Leave me alone.

I didn't escape after I got you out.

They let me go.

They explained a lot of things to me, Neil.

And I'm staying here.

What did you do to him?

What did you do to Colin?

What are you doing to all those people down there?

Just get on with it so we can go.

We don't have time to argue.

The doctor needs to leave.

Wait, what did you do with Gwen?

Come with us.

Neil, please.

Get in.

No!

You said you wouldn't hurt him.

It won't hurt him.

What was it?

Call.

I'm sorry, Neil.

Where are we?

Gwen,

hey, Gwen,

wake up.

You okay?

Oh,

this shift's not until two.

What?

No.

Gwen, where are we?

One minute, one minute, just go make coffee.

Gwen, wake up.

Neil.

Neil, where are my keys?

Did you take them?

What?

Look, I have a shift later today.

Did you take my keys?

Have you seen them recently?

Oh, do you know where I parked the car?

Gwen.

Gwen, look at me for a second.

I don't have your keys.

We were in Croxmont.

I don't know where we are now.

Are you okay?

I was in the car.

You don't have the keys?

I don't.

Where are we?

I don't know.

I don't see anything recognizable out the window, so I don't think we're in Cruxmon anymore.

The windows are barred and the doors locked, but it looks more like a hotel than a prison.

Oh, wait.

My car is outside in the car park.

Yeah, I can see it.

One second.

No way out through the bathroom.

Something happened.

I woke up and you weren't in the car.

No, I.

I left.

I.

I wanted to burn down that thing in the caves.

Did you?

Colin stopped me.

Colin?

Yeah.

What time is it?

Oh, the sun's up.

Could be around noon.

We've been asleep for hours.

We're outside of the village.

They made sure we were outside of Cruxmont.

How do you feel?

A little nauseous

and very angry.

Yeah, I think we were drugged, some kind of anesthetic.

Perhaps ketamine.

Is it dangerous?

A few hangover like Zeider Fegs, but you should be fine.

Who is it?

Gwen.

It's Adelaide Birch.

What?

It's her.

I'm going to open the door so we can talk.

Please tell Neil not to hit me with that lamp.

I can see him.

But then

fine.

I won't hit her with the lamp.

Thank you.

Come, sit.

I'm certainly not going to stand for all this.

So you're the reason Gwen found out about Cruxmont.

Well, yes and no.

I would have faded into death at some point if left to my own devices.

But my sister couldn't stand the idea of me not coming home.

At first I was upset with her, but I know she did it out of love and concern.

And when I heard that Gwen traced it all back to Cruxmont, with a few big leaps of faith, I might add, I knew she might end up in a spot of trouble.

Now I'm here, and I hope we can talk this up properly.

You came here to help me.

Well, why not?

You helped me plenty.

So, bit confused here.

What's happening right now?

How are you supposed to help?

Whose side are you on?

Ours or Cruxmont's?

It's a bit of a story, dear, and more complicated than that.

We can get to it later, but for now, a lot of people are waiting and I don't have much time to cover the basics.

We need to talk about you, Gwen, and Colin.

Where's Colin?

Hey.

You let them drug me, Colin.

I'm sorry, Neil.

I'm really sorry.

They said they weren't going to hurt you.

I would never let them do that to to you.

Never.

I came all the way out here to find you and make sure you were okay.

And you let them do this.

Sorry.

If you calm down, you might begin to learn why he has done what he has done, dear.

Take a seat, please.

All right.

What's happening?

Where are we?

This is a little bed and breakfast on the outskirts of Walworth, run by the Moss family.

The iron window bars are decorative, but well, they'll keep you in until we've had time to talk.

Oh, we have your keys and your phones, don't worry.

Our first priority was to get you both out of Crooksmont as quickly as possible.

So, here you are, safe and sound.

Safe and sound.

I think I would have gone with something like um drugged and unlawfully imprisoned twice.

But you know, when in Rome

the longer you remain in the village, the greater your exposure.

Perhaps because it affects you less, Neil, you don't take it as seriously as you should.

But time for Colin ran out, and Gwen's time was almost up.

Soon, Colin will need to return.

Will I be okay?

It remains to be seen.

It is our hope that your exposure has not yet grown roots, so to say.

Exposure to what exactly?

Old Crooksmont.

That organism beneath the orchards.

I should have burned it.

I was so close.

Neil,

you don't have any right or reason to burn it.

You don't even know what it is.

Just listen.

It was filled with people, Colin.

People.

Bits and...

pieces of arms and ribs and organs and shit.

You don't understand it.

And what do you mean about the afterlife?

What?

Is that thing hell?

Wait,

you were going to burn it all before I could get a sample.

I expressly told you I needed to get a sample of it.

You couldn't go back to the village, and I wasn't going to go anywhere near it.

So yeah, fire seemed like a good option.

Just pour Turpentine down the chute and light it all up.

If that didn't work, maybe the catacombs.

Stop.

It is our afterlife, Neil.

As it will be, Colin's.

I won't let that happen.

Neil, just shut the fuck up and listen for once.

Hear her out, okay?

Please.

Fine.

Adelaide, tell me, what was that thing?

Originally, we believed that old Crooksmont came from the orchards and the trees, as it fed off the rot of the harvests.

At first, we thought what was happening to us was the work of demons or witches.

Now we know it's not some demonic thing, or as we thought later on, an angel, but is, in fact, the result of symbiotic fungi.

Fungus?

It was all over the caves and the corpses.

They are not corpses, as they are not dead.

Not in the way you understand death.

You guys are all sick.

I should clarify.

They are not in any pain.

Although I know old Crooksmont sounds terrible when you first hear it.

Its communication is slow and unclear.

But it is alive in its own way, and is comprised of all of the elders and long lost of Crooksmont.

Gwen,

doctor Kingston,

you were so kind and caring to me, and always trying to help.

But there are many things that I never told you, quite on purpose.

But one thing I'll say now is that I am a hundred and twenty-six years old, and to morrow happens to be my birthday.

The symbiotic fungi does this too.

Yes.

Old Cruxmont is already within me, and works with my body as one complex interconnected organism.

Our physical aging continues, but at a reduced rate, extending our lives far beyond those of our fellows, and as long as we stay connected to Old Cruxmont, we never suffer from mental degeneration.

Ever,

even after we begin to show outward signs of the fungal infection, usually at around the age of a hundred and forty,

our minds stay sharp as a pin.

When our bodies are given over to the caves and the rot, and eventually to old Cruxmont itself, we are fully aware and fully conscious.

Our memories remain, and we join the fold where we share our lives with all those who have come before us.

How?

So, are you a scientist?

You study this thing?

No, I'm no scientist.

But old Cruxmont is something we have strived to learn a lot about over the years.

Science has come a long way in my lifetime.

Even what I understood as a child is now radically changed.

How old is it?

If you got all your memories from forever, how old is it?

From what we understand, at some point during the 10th century, in the two centuries known as the Medieval Warm Period, the unique weather allowed this exceptional fungus to bloom and prosper here in Crooksmont, and it's been active ever since.

We believe that it wasn't until the 11th century that the first of us joined old Crooksmont.

But how?

How does it work?

How did it restore you, specifically, after that one night?

It would have been a temporary reprieve had I not returned.

Edith brought me concentrated mycelium from old Crooksmont.

Inside all bodies is a complex system of nerves, but ours are intertwined with mycelial threads.

Think of it as an almost invisible root system, wrapped around the finest nerves and neurons in our bodies.

So

in a a way,

our neurons are not our own, but a dual system, and because of such, we are not susceptible to the same neural degeneration.

When I took the concentrated mycelium, it sent a new wave of information to the shriveled false fungal neurons.

The mycelium restore our clarity quickly, we believe, in the hope that they would soon return home by way of their host.

And so,

I have.

It's an addiction.

You're addicted to some creepy-ass magic mushrooms.

No, it's a symbiotic relationship.

Really?

What do you get out of it then?

Did you not hear the part about extended life?

About the mental clarity?

About rotting forever in a pile of corpses?

About being a host to a fungal parasite?

And Millie Birch.

What happened to her?

Oh.

Millie was my granddaughter.

Well, my great-great-great-granddaughter.

But I loved her all the same.

I had my first child at seventeen.

It was a different time back then.

It was normal to have children young.

I loved being a mother.

Millie represents a sad but all too common occurrence for the families of Cruxmont.

I know you've been asking about the Cruxmont survey.

Well, it's simple.

Every year, when our teenagers reach about 16 years of age, or sometimes younger, they're taken around Cruxmont on a survey of the village's history and activities.

It is also the day they learn about old Cruxmont and the fate they and their loved ones share.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Thank you.

It will not be long before I join old Cruxmont myself.

A decade, perhaps a bit more.

I've got wonderful memories of her to hold on to until then.

So she killed herself to be free of it.

She tried.

You see, the children of Cruxmund already possess the fungus in their unique gut microbiome at the time of birth.

It migrates into the neural pathways at a young age.

It's mostly inactive before then, as far as we can tell.

Its primary effects are not noticeable until after puberty and during the aging process of adulthood.

I can't go into much further detail, that's all I know.

Millie tried to escape joining old Cruxmund, but she already had gone through puberty, and now,

even drowned, the fungus and her memories live on, alone, until she joins our family and more.

She has already been given over to old Crooksmont,

though earlier than we would have liked.

Adelaide,

this is astonishing.

So,

even beyond the death of the body, the mind survives.

How do you know?

How do you know any of this is real?

You could just be feeding that thing your family.

Because of people like Colin.

And Gwen.

What do you mean?

It's not their fault, Neil.

I didn't know any of this when I stayed on the Cruxmont land that night.

They were just protecting their families.

By locking you underground.

Do you not see how insane that is?

It is.

By any normal circumstances.

But as far as Roger has explained, Colin was out in the orchard when an elder from beneath the hills came above ground.

They come above ground?

At night.

Yes.

To enjoy the orchards and the skies.

When elders start to show outward signs of infection, they are not instantly given over to Old Cruxmont.

They live comfortable lives in small apartments in the tunnels under the village.

They still meet with family and enjoying hobbies and entertainment until they choose to enter Old Crooksmont.

When someone first chooses to go under the earth, we hold them a funeral.

And gives them a gravestone with no dates on it.

Yes.

For no one ever really dies in Crooksmont.

But what's happening to you?

I can already feel Old Cruxmont.

Colin saw one of our affected elders up on the hill, so we had to find a way to keep him quiet about the situation.

The fungal spores in Cruxmont can infect adults rather quickly, only taking about three weeks or so to integrate them with the new host and become a vital necessity.

Sadly, from what Roger and Mary have told me, they didn't know about your brother's previous addiction and mental disorder when he was held in the caves.

And they found it was too late.

If they had known about the addiction, would they have taken him?

Neil, they were worried I'd talk about what I saw, which I probably would have.

And really, I'm fine now.

But due to the the damage caused by my addiction, the fungus had a much easier time finding a way in and grabbing hold because it's a parasite.

Neil, Colin.

Please continue.

Those dreams I told you about really are memories.

The people of Cruxmont had such healthy nerves and stuff.

Sorry, I don't really understand the science, but they never developed the damage I had.

So when I showed up and got the fungus in my brain, it flourished more than usual.

I can see the memories from all those people who are part of Old Cruxmont.

It's real, Neil.

It's a collective library of lives and thoughts and love going back over a thousand years.

So, my disease?

Would work like mine.

Really fast.

And I know it sounds weird, but the fungus all across the orchard told Old Cruxmont, and then Old Cruxmont told me that you were easily susceptible to exposure.

But this makes Colin incredibly special to us.

He can communicate with Old Cruxmont in a way that none of us can.

You.

Wait, Neil.

He's not here to fight.

Calm down, lad.

As for your brother's circumstance, we would never choose to inflict our lifestyle on anyone.

We understand it can be frightening and confusing.

But when we knew it was already too late for Colin, we had to make a choice.

It was astonishing to us how clearly he was already receiving memories from old Cruxmont.

The last time we had the ability to communicate like that with our elders was back in the 1920s, and a lot has changed since then.

So

everything else is just myths?

The foxes?

The young ones don't know about old Cruxmont.

And when our elders living beneath the hills want to wander the orchards at night, well, we don't want to scare the children, do we?

The stories of the great foxes keep our kids out of the orchards at night.

Well, not all of them.

A fungus can be isolated, farmed, studied.

We could use this change the world.

I feel.

kind of dizzy.

It's been a very long day, and an even longer week for you, Colin.

You okay?

Colin needs to return to Croxmund.

He can't be away for long.

The new connections the fungus have built will slowly shrivel, and what's left of his neural pathways will not be able to compensate.

So he really is trapped.

Wait, what?

Not able to compensate?

You mean he'll die?

In the worst case, yes.

But before that, it would be an intense neural degeneration.

Then most likely a coma.

Will he ever get to leave Crooksmont?

Even for short periods of time?

A week at a time, or more?

Colin said he got a memory from old Crooksmont of walking by the Notre Dame in Paris.

And we know that others, like yourself, can leave a few months at a time before the adverse effects are too strong.

What about him?

Will he ever be able to do that?

Until he's been here longer, we won't know.

You'll never get to come home.

Aside from you, I don't think I have anything back there for me.

What happens to us now?

You can't just stay in the UK.

You'll have to go back to the US at some point.

They're ready for you.

We set up a space near Archad,

outside of town.

Here are your bags, so you can get showered and changed.

They still smell like the debris pit, and it can't be pleasant to walk around like that.

And I'll see you afterwards.

Wait, hold up.

We're not going anywhere again, and certainly not into Cruxmod.

At least tell us what we're walking into.

The village leaders wish to speak with you, so please get ready.

The day has already begun, and with a little luck, you'll have more answers soon enough.

I can't believe he'll ever come home.

Don't Mind Cruxmont.

Written and created by K.A.

Stats.

Produced and directed with sound design by Travis Vengroff.

Edited with Sound Design Mixing and Mastering by Dane Leonardson.

Dialogue editing by Austin Beach.

And with script and casting consulting by Gemma Amore.

Starring Adjua Ando, Daniel Demerin, Preston Young, Sinclair Bell, David Ault, Sally Walker Taylor, and Erica Sanderson.

With executive producers Dennis Greenhill, Michael Viegas, Carol Vengroff, and AJ Punkin.

With music by Stephen Malin.

This episode would not be possible without the support of our listeners on Patreon, so please consider supporting us there at patreon.com/slash foolandscholar or by sharing this show with a friend.

This episode is copyrighted 2022 by Fool and Scholar Productions.

Thank you for listening.

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