#MaxFunDrive special – Even MORE State Cryptids

Well, hello, friends.

Janet Varney here.

John Hodgman not here.

We just wanted to drop into the ePluribus Motto feed very quickly.

I am not tasking John Hodgman with this again because we are still in the heat, in the thick, in the midst of the Max Fun Drive.

But we got a bunch of wonderful listener submissions for our Cryptids episode that came in a little later than when we had recorded the episode.

So I just wanted to do a little something in honor of you, our wonderful listeners, and the wonderful Max Fun Drive to keep the love going, to highlight a few more cryptids, and to read a really lovely post on Reddit.

So let's spend a few minutes together looking at some additional cryptids, giving some additional shout-outs, and acknowledging once again that we appreciate you so much for the contributions you're making to to Maximum Fun, maximumfund.org slash join.

It truly means the world to us.

And I like to think that maybe one or more of you lovely listeners who are supporting MaxFun, who are making this podcast possible, might be cryptids yourselves.

I don't know.

I'm not sure.

It's possible, right?

I can hope.

I can always hope.

Okay, so I'm going to kick things off with listener Ophelia in Flagstaff, Arizona, where I spent several years, several very happy years in college.

And if you listened to the Cryptids episode, you know we talked about the Mogillon monster.

I am feeling like, based on this little story from Oaf, from Ophelia, perhaps this was a Mogillon monster viewing because she was driving home from work in the middle of the night in the snow, big beautiful fat flakes falling in front of the car.

Oh, I miss those beautiful fat flakes from Blackstaff.

It's such a great town.

Ophelia says a figure crossed in front front of her car and in her gut.

And she just had this feeling it was a squatch, you know, the feeling you get deep down inside.

She's seen a lot of things, some far worse.

This one was interesting.

This very big figure, too big to be a person, a squatch and flag.

Oph says, hell yeah,

hell yeah.

And Ophi, who is Navajo, also gives a shout out to the skinwalkers.

And she even did me a huge solid by trying to help me say the Navajo word for it for a skinwalker is yanegloshi.

I hope I said it right, Oof.

You tried to make it phonetic for me, and I still may have totally screwed that up.

But we have a squatch sighting.

We have a squatch sighting.

We have a Mogeon monster potentially sighting in flag.

Very exciting.

I got to get out there right away to see if I could see this.

I also want to shout out, Brendan, Brendan, you are speaking on behalf also of Irish Wastrel and Catsuit Studios who weighed in on this on Instagram, but you sent a wonderful email and say that you nominate the hodag as Wisconsin's greatest cryptid.

According to an 1893 news account, as recounted by explorerrhinelander.com, the hodag had the head of a frog, the grinning face of a giant elephant.

I don't know if that means this person who gave this account originally has seen an elephant grin.

I don't know if I have, and I love elephants, but anyway, so here we have the grinning face of an elephant, thick, short legs set off by huge claws, the back of a dinosaur, and a long tail with spears at the end.

The hodag also had green eyes, huge fangs, and two horns sprouting from its temples.

The hodag was popularized by a resort owner named Eugene Shepard, who claimed to have captured a live hodag near Rhinelander in Wisconsin's North Woods area.

He traveled throughout the state with a darkened tent where paying visitors could see the hodag growl and move.

So that's probably not a good thing, right?

That's probably just like a...

I mean, I hope it was just a person who made the decision to pretend to be the hodag.

I hope it wasn't like a creature.

Assuming it wasn't the hodag, which maybe it was.

I hope that it wasn't like a sad dog that was being kept in.

Anyway, that's a bummer.

We know we're not going to go there.

This is the hodag we're talking about.

We're going to celebrate it.

But this definitely falls into the category that John and I were talking about in our main episode, where there's just a lot going on, a lot of different pieces and parts and bits and bobs going on with this cryptid.

It's not just like like a coyote with mange.

So, I don't know, maybe it's real.

And thanks for writing in, Brendan.

Who, by the way, also included a photograph, so we're going to have to post that on the epluribus motto socials.

Okay, next I'm moving on to an email from a good Brent Kama Dogs.

Who says, while there may be some cooler creature cryptids in my home state of Wisconsin, Wisconsin very popular for cryptids, as we're finding out, I live in Muskego, so my submission is for Honcheeville, a small community of little people protected by a farmer.

While the people themselves may or may not be cryptids, I submit this as the village itself is the cryptid.

Love that.

Sadly, the alleged location of Honchiville has been lost and developed upon.

Now, while I was reading into this, I started to become confused because in my imagination,

when it was described as a tiny, tiny village with little people, I thought it was like, you know, dollhouse size.

Now that I'm doing some reading, I'm not totally sure.

There's references to possibly circus performers.

I don't know.

Can we nominate Haunchyville?

I'm also concerned about the name of Haunchyville.

I'm just, I mean, I'm making a lot of really high-pitched squeaky sounds right now that, by the way, are, would be very appropriate for a cryptid of some kind.

I'm just, I'm not sure about the pieciness of Haunchyville.

Perhaps more research needs to be done, but thank you all the same for sending it in.

I'm learning so much about Wisconsin.

Next up, big shout out to the squonk, the squonk.

Alex Ramos wanted me to make sure we did not forget or overlook the squonk.

Don't even worry about it, Alex.

Don't even worry about it.

You think I'm going to overlook the squonk?

Alex says hello there.

No, that wasn't a sound effect.

That was the name of what should be Pennsylvania's Commonwealth Cryptid.

Also, it is immortalized in a Genesis song of the same name.

So, just revisiting the squonk a little bit, and there is a

performance art company called the Squonk Opera that makes me very happy.

The squonk is a mythical creature that is reputed to live in the hemlock forests of northern Pennsylvania in the United States.

People have really leaned into the squonk, and for good reason, because squonk is an amazing word.

Even if that wasn't a cool cryptid, I would love it for on name alone.

Here's a quote from William T.

Cox in Fearsome Creatures of the Lumber Woods.

The squonk is of a very retiring disposition, generally traveling about at twilight and dusk.

Because of its misfitting skin, which is covered with warts and moles, it is always unhappy.

Hunters who are good at tracking are able to follow a squonk by its tear-stained trail, for the animal weeps constantly.

Wait, is this me?

When cornered and escape seems impossible, or when surprised and frightened, it may even dissolve itself in tears.

The squonk is very high on my list of favorite cryptids.

I love a creature so emotional that it may cry itself into oblivion.

That just feels real good to me.

So, Alex, thank you again for giving the squonk its due.

On Instagram, Stephen Ray Morris and Danny Borella, very familiar names to Max Funners, wanted to make sure we mentioned the Fresno Nightcrawlers.

I don't think we got to the

Fresno Nightcrawlers when we did our episode, but believe you me, I was looking at information about them.

I think we just ran out of time.

But the Nightcrawlers, that's another one where I'm just not totally sure what we're talking about here.

It sounds like it's a

thin, pale, white, maybe humanoid kind of creature, but it also is

like armless.

It doesn't have any arms.

The creature has been spotted in Yosemite.

Sometimes there are two creatures.

I think there's been some stuff caught on camera that may or may not be clear enough to really be able to tell much about anything, but relatively short creatures, most of their height being their legs, small upper body, body, hard to find details, a very, very thin webbing connected from each knee to the torso, stilt-like feet.

I'm so sorry to be laughing.

It's just, oh, don't worry, John Hodgman.

It's bipedal.

Of course it is.

Of course it walks on two legs.

This is what freaks us out.

We know this now.

Backward bending knees.

The Fresno nightcrawler.

And then there's also the Carmel creature.

The Carmel creature, the Carmel area creature, I apologize, that has a very, very similar description.

So, I mean, you know, Carmel and Fresno aren't that far apart.

So if you've got cool legs that bend backwards and there's webbing connected to your torso from your knees, you might be able to cover a lot of ground in a short period of time.

So I'm willing to believe, certainly I'm willing to entertain the idea that these two are one and the same.

From Instagram, it's Matty Meltz.

Idaho has a few.

The wild man of Commas Prairie, or the, I don't know if it's Camus or Commas, or the Camus, Commas, Wild Man, Charlie, the serpent of Payette Lake, the Lake Pondere Paddler, which sounds extremely cute, may not be, and even the Clark Fort Wampus Cat, a six-legged, cougar-like cryptid with a mace-like spiked ball at the end of its tail.

Fun fact, says Matty Meltz.

Clark Fork, Junior, and Senior High School adopted this noble beast as its mascot.

Go Wampus Cats.

That's the way you you honor your cryptid.

You name your team after this cryptid.

Go Wampus Cats indeed.

Thank you, Maddie Meltz.

E.

Donalds27 on Instagram says, I don't think North Carolina has an official state cryptid, but one unofficial one is the Beast of Bladdenborough, also called the Vampire.

Or, as John Hodgman would say, the Dracula.

A mysterious creature responsible for a string of animal deaths in the 50s.

The town still holds an annual Beast Fest with the B.O.B.

Bob,

the Beast of Ladenborough, as mascot.

I mean, I love that like strange and scary and mysterious deaths happen, and our way of dealing with our own fear is to sort of memorialize it and turn it into like a fun festival.

That feels very human to me, and there's something about that I find very comforting.

So, that's going to do it for the additional cryptids.

Thank you so much for submitting those.

I want to also read this post from Repulse of Doubt 8086, Repulse of Doubt.

Good job giving yourself a name that I would have to say on the mic, Repulse of Doubt.

But Repulse of Doubt says, I wasn't going to upgrade my membership this Max FunDrive.

I felt pretty good about my level of continued support, but then I heard the state cryptid special of ePluribus motto.

On a Max FunDrive break, producer Julian Burrell said something that AI summarized as, Max Fun is a light-hearted comedy hub, but the current chaotic world makes supporting artist-owned co-op-led platforms like maximumfund.org crucial in today's late-stage capitalism, and that really hit me in the feels.

So, there I went to upgrade my membership levels.

Supporting MaxFun is a no-brainer for me.

If you love their podcasts, consider becoming a member.

The bonus content is legit, and the mission is one you can stand behind and throw money at with optimism.

Anyway, goddamn you, Julian, for getting to the crux of the matter for me.

My wallet is a little bit lighter, my heart is a little bit fuller.

Dare I say, this is why we do this.

Now you can see why we had to.

I had to just jump in the studio and get a little quick something out to you during Max Fun Drive to shout you out.

You should have your own festival.

All of you for sending encrypted stuff and certainly Repulsive Doubt 8086 for so beautifully summarizing why you're on board.

And thank you for doing that.

It's incredibly generous.

We are very touched and moved.

We wanted to make sure we put that out there.

We got to throw a parade in your honor.

Could you please also reveal yourself to be a cryptid?

That would really help me kill two birds with one stone.

Everybody, thank you so much again for your support.

Hope you're having a wonderful week.

You can head to maximumfund.org slash join to boost, upgrade, start a new membership, do all kinds of good stuff, get all kinds of great free stuff on top of what you're already getting when you give us your support and allow us to continue making our podcasts.

I also wanted to give a shout out because additional research for our cryptids episode was provided by Heather Eagle Ears Wilson.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hold up there, Janet Varney from the past.

It's Julian Burrell from the future.

And I cannot let this mini episode go to an end without reminding everybody who listens and loves ePluribus motto that we have a very special stretch goal on the horizon.

We need 800 new upgrading or boosting members to go to maximumfund.org/slash join and set up that membership immediately.

When we get to that number, Janet and John are going to do a state smell podcast.

It is very overdue, and these two are frankly the authority that should be delivering such an important verdict upon the states that we all call home.

We are at 500 new and upgrading and boosting members for ePluribus Model.

Thank you all so much who have done so.

So, if you're sitting there and you're thinking,

I don't know if I can do that yet, yeah, you can, and we would love you so much for it.

Maximumfun.org/slash join.

Let's decide on some state smells, people.

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