Struggle Talking to Women IRL? My 3 Openers (90% Success Rate!) Fix that Instantly (Part 2 of 4)

How about a 90% success ratio for an opener that she responds to well? Would you take that batting average? I know I certainly would. Welcome back to the How to Get a Girlfriend podcast.
I'm your host, dating coach Conal Barrett. I'm here to help you confidently flirt with women, get dates, and get a great girlfriend.
And do it by being authentic. No pickup, manipulation, silliness, and nonsense.
Welcome to part two of my special four-part series on meeting and attracting women in real life, just in time for Valentine's Day week. If you're tired of relying on dating apps, and if you want to finally meet women out in the world organically, naturally, confidently, this series that you're listening to is your roadmap.
This is part two and four. In part one, we talked about the mindset, the confidence, the internal beliefs, and the mind you have to have in place.
Now it's time for the fun stuff. What to say, how to talk to women, how to flirt, all the really good stuff.
That's what we're going to get into for the rest of the series, frankly. And if you're like I used to be, then I'll bet that you see beautiful women all the time, but your brain just locks up.
You'd love to talk to them, but you overanalyze things. You see that gorgeous girl at the gym or a stylish woman at the bar or a woman at a party, and you think, oh, I want to go meet her and talk to her, but what do I say? Should I be funny? Should I compliment her? Should I say some smooth line that I heard on this YouTube channel? Should I ask her a question? No, don't do that.
That's question mode. And basically, you start playing mental chess, trying to find the perfect thing to say.
And before you know it, she's gone. She's moved on.
And then you're kicking yourself. So if that sounds familiar, I used to feel the same.
I struggled with dating until my late 30s. I had a lot of self-doubt.
I'm a very shy, introverted guy, naturally. And I was stuck in my head all the time.
And I think you're a lot like me in that regard. You're probably, you get stuck in your head.
You're not sure what to say. And that hesitation can really kill the attraction before it even starts.
It keeps you from even meeting women. Or if you do talk to women, then chances are you're in your head and you're not really present and showing her that confident self.
So after today's episode, you're never going to second guess yourself again about what to say, because I'm going to give you three simple, natural, authentic ways to start conversations with women anywhere. And to do it without awkwardness, without overthinking, and without using planned, weird, scripted pickup moves.
and also without being somebody you're not. You're going to be able to do this by being really genuine, really yourself.
And your problem here, your very likely problem with why you don't approach women, other than the mindset issues we talked about in episode one, is that you're probably trying to think of the perfect thing to say. The perfect thing to say that won't get you rejected.
What I'm going to teach you today is what I call my natural approaching method, which is three simple ways to open a conversation with a woman anywhere and to do it effortlessly and to do it in a way that will help you approach really cute, attractive women anywhere, and that I would say is 90% rejection proof. What I'm going to teach you today is about 90% rejection proof.
What I mean is once you practice this, a little bit of comfort, your approach opener will be received well, somewhere between positive and super attracted 90% of the time from women. Maybe 10% of women will be mean or cold or dismissive.
But how about a 90% success ratio for an opener that she responds to well? Would you take that batting average? I know I certainly would. and And how can we get you to a 90% approaching success ratio, at least in terms of the defining approach success by she responds well? Because as you're going to see, we're going to remove the thing that women reject.
I've removed the thing that women reject. They reject creepiness, they reject vulgarity, or they reject social awkwardness when a man comes up to her.
And we're going to take those things out of the equation using my natural approaching method, this framework I've created. So soon you're going to be able to break the ice with charm, with presence, and of course, yes, with authenticity.
and basically, the natural approaching framework I'm about to share with you, what it does is it lowers the bar for you having to say the perfectly right thing, the perfect opener. And this gets you out of your head, lowering the bar like this, it frees you up, gets you in the moment, makes you feel more spontaneous.

And it's when you're most present and spontaneous that your authentic best self comes out,

what I call the higher self, that best, most authentic you. And that's who women are most

attracted to. And that's you at your most confident and your most present and attractive.

And so we're going to do that right now. And yeah, I would say that the way I teach this

Thank you. what you're most confident and you're most present and attractive.
And so we're going to do that right now. And, um, and yeah, I would say that the way I teach this, because we're eliminating most of the rejection that holds you back because that fear is about to disappear or at least dissolve and get much smaller, it's going to make it so much easier for you to go out and actually talk to women.
We're going to remove the blocks. We're going to make you free so that you can talk to a lot more women in real life and have a lot more options.
And that's going to mean phone numbers, dates, flirty interactions, sex, love, babies, all the things that you want. and yeah I can can't wait.
So let's get to it. Let's talk about the natural approaching method.
This is a very simple way to start talking to women in a way that feels really relatable and charming and effortless to them and you. So here we go.
The natural approaching method. There are three openers, three ice-breaking options that I'm going to give you.
And here's how it works. This is the natural approaching method.
You see a woman you want to talk to. She's at the gym.
She's at the bar. She's at that coffee shop.
And you aren't sure what to say. Here's what you do.
Give yourself three simple options. Look at her and take in the situation and ask yourself, number one, compliment.
What do I like about her that I can compliment? Option two, a question. What makes sense that you could ask her in that context? And option three, an observation.
What do you notice about her or the scene that's interesting in that moment? So again, here's the natural approaching method for what to say for those very first opening words. Number one, a compliment.
Number two, a question that makes sense. And number three, an observation.
That's it. That's literally all it takes to break the ice with a really attractive woman and get

a really good response.

Somewhere between positive and super attracted.

And then once you have the answer to one of these three questions, which will happen pretty

instantly, you just go with that one.

Let me break these down in more specificity.

So number one, a compliment. Share something specific that you like about her, but that's G-rated and that's not about her looks, or at least not about her body part, okay? Something unique, a cool tattoo she has, her awesome boots, the way she walks, a certain confident look on her face, cool glasses, anything that you want to notice that's specific and make it authentic, always make it genuine.
So we want that compliment to be genuine. So that's option one.
Option two, ask a question. Ask something that you either want, you genuinely want to know the answer to, or that makes sense to ask her in that environment so if you're at a coffee shop you might genuinely look over look to her standing on your left as you're both in line to get coffee and you say hey what are you thinking about today iced coffee or hot coffee i'm curious i'm taking a poll that question makes sense nine out of ten women are going to answer that question in a very positive way.
Only she has to be in a really bad mood to not answer a question like that. And the third option is observation.
Call out something unusual about her or the situation. Like there was a time I noticed a woman, this is in Miami, I'm walking down the street.
This woman is standing outside of a yoga studio. She's holding a yoga mat in one hand, her yoga, she's wearing her yoga outfit and she's got a cigarette in the other.
She's smoking a cigarette. I observed that unusual thing.
And I walked on up, I walked up and I said, Hey, nothing like a smoke break during yoga class, right? And she laughed and immediately acknowledged the truthful thing that I was observing. So it's that simple.
That's it. That's the natural approaching method in its most cliff note version.
Instead of, what do I say that's perfect, that's clever, that's funny? That's what gets you in your head. That's what makes it so hard to go up to women.
You overthink it. We're going to underthink it.
We're going to think just the right amount. Should I ask a, number one, should I give her a compliment? Should I ask her a question? Or should I make an observation and use that as the icebreaker? And by choosing any of these three options, you're removing the thing that women reject.
You're not being vulgar. You're not doing something sexual.
And you're also not saying something socially weird or awkward. You're asking her a question about what's in her grocery cart at the grocery store.
That's not weird. That's normal.
You're giving her a compliment about the really cool sunglasses she's wearing as she sits in the park. That's not weird.
That's normal. What is she going to say? Get away.
I don't want you to compliment me on my cool sunglasses. No, nine out of 10 women will handle that really nicely and they'll appreciate it.
Or that third option observation, you're calling out something unusual, different that stands out. And that the truth of that is also going to resonate with her so again number one compliment number two question number three observation and when you have the answer you just you just go for it here's a little window into how powerful this is and what a high batting average you can have in terms of approaches that go well a couple couple months ago, my client Rocky, his nickname is Rocky.
My client Rocky and I went out. Rocky is a sweet, wonderful gentleman, mid forties.
He's a finance guy here in New York city, Indian heritage, and a very just genuine, oh, single dad and just a great guy. And Rocky and I went out for a whole night and all he did the entire night was he relied on one of these three options and he started with the uh he leaned on the question opener and the question that made sense for him that night was he had just overhauled his style.
And he was walking up to women. I was his wingman, by the way.
So I go out with my clients here in New York. I'm their wingman.
I help them approach. I help them get numbers.
I help them get dates. I'm literally side by side with Rocky for a whole weekend.
And he's just walking up to women saying, hey, what do you think of my outfit? I just got a brand new look. What do you think of it? He was asking a genuine question that made sense given the context, which was he had just done a whole makeover with my style guru.
And every single woman had a positive response, every single one, the entire night. And he bounced around and did some other opens as well.
But that night, he did something that I'd never seen before in my 13 years as a dating coach and 13 years coaching men in person. Rocky threw what I call a perfect game.
He talked to, I forget the exact number, but it was like 18, maybe 20 women that night. It was a huge number, like 20, 18 or 20.
And he threw a perfect game,

meaning he did not have a single approach that was rejected. Every single woman responded well.
He grabbed two or three phone numbers, lined up a date or two, and he did not have a single quote rejection. He felt amazing.
He felt incredible at the end of the night. and now I can't promise you'll have a 100% perfect game like Rocky, but I can tell you that there's a very high percentage of good responses when you use this method.
Okay. And here's an example from my past of me using this method.
Back in the day, I used to be so in my head about approaching women. I didn't know what to say.
I didn't know how to do it. And then I fell into what I now call this natural approaching method.
And I just said, you know what's working best? Compliments, questions, or observations. And I remember one night I was at a rooftop lounge here in New York City.
I saw this beautiful woman in a beautiful brunette in a silvery dress. She looked like Jennifer Beals from Flashdance, which is one of my favorite 80s movies.
And Jennifer Beals was my big crush back in the day. I pretty much started puberty watching Flashdance, watching Jennifer Beals in Flashdance.
Anyway, I see this woman who looks like Jennifer Beals. And that was my observation.
That was my opener. I walked over and said, hey, you look just like the girl from Flashdance.
You look like Jennifer Beals. She was my first big movie crush.
That's all I said. And this woman's eyes lit up.
She smiled. She said, oh, yeah, I think I know that movie.
We danced for a little bit. And a few minutes later, we were on the dance floor making out.
And I got her number for a date later that week. And all I did was I made an observation.
So my observation opener worked really well. So anyway, when you see a woman you'd love to go talk to, stop making the mistake of, what do I say? It's an understandable question to ask yourself,

but it's not helping you. I want you to shift your mindset.
Instead, look at the situation and

just ask yourself, okay, should I do a compliment? Should I do a question? Or can I observe something

and use that? And then choose any of those three, commit to it, and then you're going to have a great, great icebreaker. Okay, now what I'm going to do now is I want to break down each of these three openers, these three options with some more real world examples, just so you are crystal clear on how this works.
and also so you can start using these openers and this natural approaching method today. So here we go.
Let's start with number one, the compliment. The art of the compliment.
The key piece here is that you simply want to notice something that you genuinely like about her besides her most obvious physical features. Okay.
And you want to make your compliments specific. So avoid vague compliments like, you look nice, or something really generic like that.
That's better than not approaching at all, but that's not going to cut it. It's not going to land as well with her.
The more personalized and real and specific your compliments, the better. And so here are some examples.
Just give you a quick little hit list. Here are some great ones that I have used and my clients have.
I love that tattoo. That's a great design.
What's the story behind it? Next, those are really stylish leather boots. I respect a woman with good boot game.
love your glasses they're cool but they're also nerdy in the best way hey that's a really great nose ring very early 90s are you in a band another one this is more um this is a bit more direct but hey you're really cute. I just want to come over and say hi.
That's a compliment. I love this in a bookstore.
Here's a great one for a bookstore. Ah, I see that pretty girls still read actual books.
Okay? Or you're in a bookstore and you see that she's reading a book that you like. Oh, that's a really good book.
It's a really good book. You have good taste in books.
You might see a woman's jacket. Women put a lot of time and thought into their clothes.
You might say, hey, that's a great jacket. Very stylish, very vintage.
Are you naturally stylish or did you have to work on it? Those are just some examples. And I remember, and these don't have to have tons of masculine alpha energy.
If that's authentic to you, great. But you can open with just a simple compliment about something she's wearing.
I dated a beautiful Spanish woman for a while and I approached her outside one afternoon. I noticed her hair, and I wanted to compliment it, and I just said, hey, your hair looks amazing today.
You have great windswept hair. It's just, you look, I said something like, yeah, it's very windswept.
It looks fantastic. There was nothing fancy about that opener, but it was something to get things started.
It was a compliment that opened the door. And the goal of an approach is not to create instant attraction.
It's not to instantly make her into you. That can happen.
And I'll talk about a way to approach to do more direct opens shortly that can make some instant romantic attraction happen. But the main goal of an ice breaker, an approach opener, is just to start a conversation that could lead to a date and a real connection.
So yeah, the compliment, an authentic specific compliment that's G-rated and that you mean, is almost rejection-proof. It really is, because you're not hitting on her.
You're

giving her a small, genuine gift. And guess what? Women love receiving little gifts from men.

In this case, it's the gift of a compliment. I like to use the metaphor.
I call it the $20

theory of approaching. I think of every time I walk up to a woman, I give her a compliment.

It's like I'm handing out $20 bills.

Here's a 20. You want it? Most people are going to take a free 20 if you offer it to them.
However, the way most men approach is they walk up and they are trying to get, metaphorically, $20 from that woman. They're trying to get something.
Give me your number. Give me validation.
Give me a feeling of being worth something. That's not going to work very well with women.
Women want a man who gives them something. So I think of the compliment opener as a little gift.
You're just handing out 20s. And that takes so much of the pressure off of you.
Your goal is to just offer a 20, offer a specific compliment. Now, flirting is allowed.
You don't have to just say, hey, I like your hair like I did with that Spanish girl. I probably came off like her best gay friend at first.
You are allowed to flirt. It is okay to show romantic interest.
We just want it to feel natural. We want it to come out in a very genuine, authentic way.
So here's an example of me combining flirtatiousness with the compliment. I was at a Whole Foods once and I saw this woman named Lisa.
I think I just mentioned this on the last, maybe the last episode. And I saw a woman in the frozen food section.
She was all bundled up. She was wearing a fuzzy white hat, pink scarf.
She looked incredible. She looked like the cover of a J.Crew catalog, frankly, or she just stepped out of a fashion shoot.
So I walked up and I said, basically, this is sort of a combination of an, actually, this is a combination of observation and compliment.

I said, hey, you look just like the cover of a J.Crew winter catalog.

Very cute, I said.

So I made it flirtatious by adding the phrase very cute.

She lit up with a big smile.

And a couple of nights later, we were on our first date.

We dated her for a while.

So yeah.

And here's a bonus tip on compliment, the compliment opener. Again, keep them G-rated, PG at most.
Again, choose things like style choices or her vibe or her personality, not her body parts, right? So a good compliment opener would be, hey, you have such cool energy. You're just effortlessly confident.
It's a great compliment.

A bad one would be, damn, girl, you got a crazy body. Now, that's arguably, that's pretty much catcalling.
And that's going to get you ignored and considered a creep. Okay? If you are going to go with the body part, here's the one exception to the don't compliment her body part rule is I know I was at Barnes and Noble one day and I saw this beautiful woman and what I noticed was her cheekbones.
She had these perfectly like etched cheekbones, like from a painting. And I just basically went over and said that.
And I said, Hey, I just saw you and your cheekbones. I saw your cheekbones from a painting.
And I just basically went over and said that. And I said,

hey, I just saw you. And your cheekbones? I saw your cheekbones from over there.

They sucked me in like tractor beams. And then that very night, she and I were on a date that ended in my apartment.
We were on my rooftop having red wine on a Saturday night. And all I

did was go up to her Saturday afternoon and say, hey, I love your cheekbones. They drew me in like

Thank you. red wine on a Saturday night.
And all I did was go up to her Saturday afternoon and say, hey, I love your cheekbones. They drew me in like tractor beams.
So if you are going to compliment a physical attribute, think hair, think facial structure, maybe eyes. But if you're going to compliment eyes, beware of the cliche of you have beautiful eyes.
That is a bit of a cliche.

You might want to go with something more like, hey, the color of your eyes are incredible.

Actually, that's not a bad opener for either a question or a compliment.

You could say, hey, I just saw your eyes.

They're absolutely sparkling, amazing eyes.

Compliment.

Or, hey, excuse me, miss.

Can I ask you a question?

What color are your eyes?

They're absolutely radiant.

There's a great little clip from a Javier Bardem movie called Vicky Cristina Barcelona,

where he walks up to Scarlett Johansson and Rebecca Hall,

and he does the What Color Are Your Eyes opener. It's really, really cool.
I'll put it here if I can find the clip. So yeah, you can be flirty, absolutely, with a compliment, but always respectful, always a charming gentleman.
Women love an approach that is charming. You can be sexy and naughty and x-rated later, and you will, but keep it G-rated and innocent.
One final point on that. I dated a woman named, I'll call her Allison.
Allison, at the time we were dating, beautiful college grad student at New York City, NYU Tisch dance. She was a dancer.
She was a dance student at NYC at New York City, a dance company called Tisch. And we were lying in bed one day.
I'm not not one day we're lying in bed the morning after we were together for the first time was our first night of intimacy. And we're lying in bed together And we're making pillow talk.
And she said, you know what I loved about how you approached me? I said, what? She said it was so innocent. And the way I approached her was in the daytime.
She was walking out of a clothing store. And I simply walked up and said, hey, I just saw you.
And I wanted to meet you. You're adorable.
Now, that's a direct approach. Technically, it's not really the indirect compliment that I've been talking about.
But for the sake of this part of the podcast, just go with me for a second. I said, hey, you're adorable.
I just wanted to come say hi to you. And then that ended up leading to our dating.
Anyway, we're in bed together. And she said, I loved how innocent you were when you approached me.
Now, Allison and I had just gotten done having the most incredible raunchy night of sex. We pretty much did it on every part of furniture in my apartment.
And yet, there she is telling me in bed as we're in bed together saying how innocent my approach was. So the lesson here is make those approaches G rated or at most PG rated.
You can be R rated and X rated later with each other in private. You struggle with dating, right? Sure.
You have a good job and cool friends, but you just aren't sure how to flirt, the apps don't work for you, and sometimes women put you in the friend zone. It's frustrating.
Hey, I struggled with dating too. As an introvert and a total nerd, I didn't just live in the friend zone, I owned real estate there.
But I escaped. Using the dating philosophy of radical authenticity, which I've used to help thousands of men in 17 countries find love.
It's what I wrote about in my best-selling book, Dating Sucks But You Don't. And radical authenticity is why Psychology Today called me the best dating coach in America.
And now I want to personally help you attract your dream girlfriend. So go to datingtransformation.com and book a free call with me.
On our call, I'll tell you how my one-on-one coaching will help you find your dream girlfriend, and you'll be doing it by flirting with confidence and authenticity. No creepy pickup tricks needed.
So go to datingtransformation.com, book a free call today, and let my personalized coaching help you get a great girlfriend. Let's shift to the second of the three options here, a question.
Asking a question that makes sense. Let's go in more in-depth about how to do this.
So a great way to open a conversation is just by asking a question that naturally fits the environment. And this takes the pressure off of you to come up with something amazing.
You just ask something that makes sense in the environment. So for example, let's say you're at Starbucks.
Excuse me, miss. What are you thinking today? You're thinking iced coffee or hot coffee Or, hey, I need some help deciding.
Should I get a muffin or a brownie? What do you think? That's a question that makes sense. Maybe you're at the grocery store.
You see there's a woman next to you. And you say, oh, hey, so, excuse me, miss, what's for dinner tonight? Or should I steal your recipe? You might also at a grocery store, you might just simply ask her for her advice.
Women love being asked advice about something. You might be looking to cook something.
You might be baking something. And I'm just making this up right now.
But you might say, hey, excuse me, do you know anything about baking? Because I'm not sure if I should get baking powder or baking soda. What do you think? Not a woman in the world is going to reject that.
99% of them because it's such a normal question. Okay.
Or maybe you simply you might notice something in her shopping cart and ask her a question about it. Oh, hey, I see you have, I see you have three different kinds of pizza.
What's, is that your favorite food? Are you a pizza addict? I'm not saying these are deep. I'm not saying these are like game-changingly brilliant.
That's what makes them work though. They're just normal.
They're just normal, genuine questions that humans would ask other humans. At the gym, here's a couple of really good ones for the gym.
You might ask her what her go-to workout is. Hey, what brings you

to the gym today? Are you doing cardio or are you doing weights? Or one of my favorites is simply,

hey, pardon me, miss. I get her attention.
She's got headphones in as most women do with the gym. And I'll say, hey, what's on your playlist today? Are you listening to music or a podcast? What is she going to say? Get away.
How dare you ask me what music I'm listening to? No, she's going to answer me. And at the very least, it'll be positive and friendly, or at least polite and friendly.
At the very best, her eyes might light up at the fact that you or me or a cool guy is chatting with her. And that's all it takes to get a great approach started.
Here's a couple more examples for questions you might ask. You're at a bar or a social setting.
Three or four women are at a group at the bar. You've probably seen many groups of women and that intimidated you, right? What do I say? Who do I talk to? Walk up to the whole group, treat them as one three or four headed, pretty monster, beast, and say, hey ladies, looking stylish tonight.
What brings you out tonight? What are we celebrating tonight? There's the question. What are we celebrating tonight?

And they're going to be celebrating something, whether it's a party or something specific

like a birthday, or maybe they're just celebrating that it's Friday night.

I have asked many women the simple question of, I've noticed a drink she's holding.

I'm like, hey, excuse me, what is that? What kind of drink is that? Is that a Long Island iced tea? Whatever it might be. So just ask a question.
That's that simple, basically. And the key here, here's what makes it work.
What makes it work is whenever a man talks to a woman, she's trying to make sense of the dynamic at play here. And you asking the question gives her an immediate answer to, oh, he's asking a question.
He's curious about something. Now, she might also make an assumption that you're interested in her romantically, which is very true in this case, probably.
But because you're not putting any hardcore sexual vulgar energy out there, you're not giving her anything to reject. And essentially it helps to start a lot of conversations.
Um, hope does this all make sense so far? I hope it does. I hope it does.

So a couple more quick examples.

Here's a couple quick examples of... So again, the secret with the question

is you want to have it make sense,

given where you are.

So you want to avoid something really off topic.

You're at a coffee shop.

A question that doesn't make sense would be,

oh, hey, do you like action movies? movies huh that's a weird question to ask so that would be off-putting to many women or you're at a bookstore and you just walk up to a woman and say hey do you like pizza I had a guy who I didn't actually coach him but I talked to him once he, yeah, I just walk up to women and I say, hey, do you like pizza? And that's better than not talking to her at all. But it's not going to make sense to most women.
And that's going to come off as weird and off-putting. So instead of at a coffee shop saying, do you like action movies, which makes no sense, you might say, oh, hey, what's your coffee of choice today? Are you a pumpkin spice girl or are you going with something more streamlined down the line? Are you a black coffee purist or do you secretly love pumpkin spice? Make sense? So we want the question to make sense to her.
So the best way to do that is just ask a question that makes sense given your environment. Another way to think about this would be maybe the general context of what's happening in the world around you.
If it's the day after a big holiday, a perfectly valid question might be, oh, hey, how was your July 4th? How was your Valentine's Day? What did you do for XYZ holiday? The Super Bowl just happened as I'm recording this. It's the day after a big sporting event.
Hey, who'd you have in the big game last night? Did you watch the game? So you could also just use the larger context of what's happening in the world. So yeah, basically the idea here is we want to stop overthinking and just choose one of these options, right? A compliment, a question, or an observation.
Women are not looking for perfect openers. They just want a guy who's confident enough to say something and to have that something be something that makes sense.

And just the fact that you're using my natural approaching method here, this makes it very

real world and relatable.

And this puts you in the top level of men because most men don't talk to women at all

unless they have alcohol or weird pickup lines. And you're doing it in a very genuine, relatable way.
One more bonus tip about questions. Gravitate toward open-ended questions instead of yes or no questions.
Open-ended questions are going to lead to better conversations because they're going to invite her to say a little bit more. So for example, if you ask a yes or no question like, hey, you're at Trader Joe's, right? You're at a grocery store.
Oh, hey, do you shop here at Trader Joe's often? She'll probably just say yes or no. And then the conversation may very well stall.
Because guess what? That's right. Women struggle with what to say too, just like you do, right? But if you ask her, so why do you come to Trader Joe's? Or what do you like most about Trader Joe's? Then she'll have a reason to open up a little bit more, and that will make your approach opener more natural and more engaging.
And yeah, again, don't be afraid of questions. I hear a lot of guys saying, oh, I don't want to ask questions.
Well, I don't want to get into interview mode. Well, we'll talk about that in the next series about keeping the conversation going and getting phone numbers and dates.
But for the icebreaker, for that opener, questions are fantastic because that's how humans interact. We ask each other questions all the time.
We just want to make it a question that makes sense given the environment. Okay.
And the third option is observation. You basically make an observation and you call it out or you base your opener based on what you observe.
And this is my personal favorite of the natural approaching method. I love compliments.
I've done a million of them. I love questions.
I've asked a million of them. Observations is my personal favorite because it allows you to be playful.
It lets you use your wit. It really brings you into the moment.
And it allows you to be fun and even funny without having to be a comedian. You don't have to be the world's most clever comedic personality.
All you have to do is notice something slightly unusual and point it out.

So I'm going to talk a little bit about observations and how being funny, by the way, is not required with an observation opener, but it opens up the door to be funny. So there's a concept in comedy called the unusual thing.
so when a tv character or a movie character does something unexpected and does something unusual, it's that unexpected thing that creates the humor. So for example, think Steve Carell in The 40-Year-Old Virgin.
The chest waxing scene is funny, not because of the pain he's in, although that does make us cringe. It's because of the ridiculous, unusual things he's yelling out, right? He's yelling out all these crazy things.
That's what's funny because he's yelling out unusual things. In a similar vein, when you notice something unusual about in the environment that something a woman's doing or the environment is unusual and you call out that unusual thing, that can create a really fun, funny, natural way to break the ice in a way that you're going to make her laugh and she's going to find it so very charming.
So for example, so basically what you do with the observational openers, you notice something unusual and you just call it out. For example, here's an example of me doing it with humor.
A while back, I was at a bookstore, and I saw a woman, no, I'm sorry, I was at a park. I was in a park, and I saw a woman unfolding this giant paper map.
And in the 2020s, that's pretty unusual. Like, who uses a paper map?

So I noticed that that was the unusual thing.

And so I walked up and I made it playful.

I said, hey, I see you have a paper map.

Are you a time traveler from the 80s?

Where did you park your DeLorean?

And she cracked up and she laughed.

And the reason she cracked up and laughed,

it's not because the thing I said was the funniest thing in the world. It's because I called out something truthful and unusual.
Another time I was at Starbucks, I saw a woman just pouring tons of sugar, like five sugar packets into a giant iced coffee. And I smiled and said, I see you take a little coffee with your sugar.
And again, she laughed, she giggled with embarrassment. And then we were off to the races, at least in terms of having a conversation.
And one of my favorite ways to do this at night is I'll notice two or three women all texting at the same time. Now they're texting other people, but three women standing in a bar when they could be talking to each other and they're all three texting that to me, that's unusual.
It's actually pretty common to see it, but it's an unusual thing to do in the world. So I've said this one many times.
I walk up and I say, Hey, you know, you guys can just talk to each other. You don't have to text.
I mean, you're standing right there. And it usually gets a really good laugh.
It's low

pressure, it's fun, and it makes women laugh. And again, and I know I've been talking about humor and how observational openers can be funny.
They absolutely can. Here's one more quick example.
Well, I gave you the example earlier of that woman smoking while wearing her yoga outfit. and I call that out something like, Oh, Hey, nothing like a cigarette after downward facing dog.
Right. Another time there was a woman standing outside of the bookstore.
She was looking out. She was looking in from the outside.
And that's not that unusual, but she was there for like a solid minute, just looking inside. And so I thought that was kind of strange.
So I walked up and I said, did you get in trouble? Did you get, are you on a timeout from the bookstore? What did you do? What did you do? And she, again, she loved it. It went really well.
So that's how to be fun and funny with an observational opener, but it doesn't have

to always be funny. You can also just make an observation and, um, and use that as an icebreaker, even if there's no humor involved.
So for example, one time I saw a woman at a coffee shop and she had a death cab for cutie sticker on her laptop. And I'm a big fan of that band.
and I just said, oh, I observed that she had this death cab for cutie sticker. And I just said, hey, I love your death cab sticker.
I'm a big fan of their music. Instantly good response.
We start talking. We had a great conversation.
So essentially you can observe not just something that's unusual and make it a joke, but really for now, just keep it basic or keep it foundational. If you notice something that is different and that stands out to you, then you can use that to start an interesting conversation.
Oh, and speaking of stickers, there was another approach I did once where she had, this woman had a sticker on her laptop that said less, what was it? More feminism, less bullshit. And that really caught my attention because at the time I was listening to a lot of podcasts and reading a lot about feminism.
I was just interested in the topic. And so I used that as my observation.
Technically, it was an observation that led to a compliment. So we're combining elements here, right? Combining observation and compliment.
And I said, hey, excuse me, miss. That's a really cool sticker.
I love the feminism sticker. And I asked her about it.
I said, why that? She told me why, and I said, oh, no kidding.

I'm actually listening to a feminism podcast right now, and I told her the podcast I've been listening to, and I sat down, and basically we're on an instant date right then and there, and all I did was I made an observation, okay? So being funny is a nice bonus, but it's not required. All you have to do is notice something slightly unusual and comment on it.

One final example from my life. I was at the gym once and a woman had a water bottle, but it was shaped like a flask.
It was clear. It was like a big, clear flask.
Unusual, right? And I noticed it when I cracked a joke. I think I said, that's where you can use the observation humorously.
I said, oh, excuse me, miss. I see you bring a flask to the gym.
What kind of gin? What kind of vodka or gin are you drinking today? And she immediately laughed and she got it. So that's how the observational openers work um yeah here are a couple more examples and basically you want to just work with what the situation gives you right so let's say you're at a bookstore you know you might make observations, let me back up.
Here are some ways to

make your observations even more dynamic. The way to make it really more dynamic is to make your observation a you statement.
Y-O-U, right? Meaning it's about her. It's about her as opposed to, oh, I like your boots or I see you put a lot of sugar in your coffee.
You make the observation about her the person. This makes it more dynamic.
For example, you're at a bookstore and you see a woman who's your type and you're impressed that she's reading an actual book. So you might say, hey, you're the only person I've seen

actually reading an actual book today.

That's so impressive.

Are you old school?

Do you like to read actual books?

Or do you just like to listen to audiobooks?

So essentially, you're making a personal observation about her, and then you're asking a question based on your observation. I remember, here's a really good powerful observation I made once.
I'm walking down in a park here in New York City, and this gorgeous brunette is walking next to me. It's a Sunday afternoon and a summer afternoon, sunny summer afternoon.
And she's walking in my vicinity. And I turn and I observe she's standing really tall.
She has like a swagger. She has a swagger.
And I just looked at her and I said, you walk with a lot of swagger and confidence. She smiled.
And I kept going. I said, yeah, you walk like you're the mayor of New York.
That's just where my mind went. I'm being so spontaneous.
I'm being in the moment. Nothing scripted, nothing planned.
It's all coming organically. Women can feel that and they like it.
And she said, oh, well, I am the mayor of New York. So she's playing into my opener.
She's hitting the tennis ball back. And then I said, oh, well, you look way better in person than you do on TV, Mr.
Mayor. Like way better.
Now I'm flirting with her. And then 10 minutes later, we were on an instant date, instant date.
We just went to get a smoothie together. And I'll talk in the next episode about how to have instant dates, how to go from the approach to an instant date, literally in minutes.
So yeah, those are more examples of observational openers. Yeah.
Okay. So here's now, now I'm going to give you a few more kind of a rapid fire.
Okay. I'm just going to throw different options at you.
Not that I want you to plan any of these openers, but I just want you to have more examples in your mind. Okay.
So some more compliments. Um, Hey, that's an awesome leather jacket.
You could compliment her vibe. Hey, I like your vibe.
Very chill, but also mysterious. You might say at night, hey, that dress you're wearing tonight is trouble, and I fully support it.
Okay, those are examples of classy compliments. Here are some observational openers, more that just create a fun vibe.
Hey, let's say you're at a coffee shop. Wow, you're the only person drinking hot coffee in the middle of summer.
That's a power move. That's an observation.
Maybe you notice her dog. I see lots of women out there with dogs.
Your dog definitely runs this relationship, doesn't he? That's a really good one you can have in your back pocket. Another observational opener you can have in your back pocket.

You're going to notice what she's drinking.

You can give her a fun little observational tease about what she's drinking at a bar.

Oh, I see you're drinking a PBR.

Come on.

You're way too put together to be drinking a PBR.

What's the story there?

Okay.

So you can have some preloaded questions, compliments, and observations ready to go. I don't want you to memorize things.
I'm not a big fan of that because I don't want you in your head. I don't want you.
I don't want you. I don't want her to feel like you're reciting scripted material.
But if you know, you're going to see a girl with her dog, you can be ready to say, boy, hey, cute dog. He runs the relationship, doesn't he? You can be ready to say that.
Don't fast forward. This is not an ad.
It's a free thing that's going to help you flirt with confidence. Because I'll bet that you struggle with what to say to women and how to flirt, right? Well, let's fix that.
I'm going to give you what I call the flirty 30. These are 30 flirty questions to ask women on the apps or on dates or when you approach so that you can confidently connect with cool, sexy women starting today.
It's time to stop running out of things to say and start asking them flirty questions that are going to make them want to date you. So to get your copy of the Flirty 30, it's totally free.
Just go to datingtransformation.com slash flirty30. And that's F-L-I-R-T-Y-3-0.
Datingtransformation.com slash flirty30. You're about to start confidently flirting with women, going on dates, and soon getting a great girlfriend.
Go get your flirty30. So basically, the takeaway here for you is, again, you've got these three very relatable, high percentage ways to open conversations with women.
And these work anywhere, anywhere, at night, in the daytime, in coffee shops. You just adjust based on where you are.
Look at the scene, look at the situation, be in the present moment, baby, and ask yourself, hey, should I do a question? Sorry, should I give a compliment? Should I give her a question? Or should I share an observation? And don't ask yourself, what's the perfect thing to choose? Just pick the first thing that enters your mind. Once you practice this and get a little bit comfortable doing it, you're going to see that roughly 90% of these icebreakers will get you somewhere between a positive to a very attracted and positive response from women.
And I'll take that 90% batting average every day of the week. I hope you will as well.
Okay, now let's talk about approaching in a direct way. I'm going to switch away from what I call that natural approaching method.
Let's talk about being more direct. Some guys just love the idea of being direct, of locking eyes with a woman, walking straight up to her, and just letting her know exactly why you're there.
No games, no easing in, just bold, raw confidence. That's the direct approach.
And here's the thing about direct approaching. I love it.
I'm a big fan of it. I'll tell you a quick story about this.
Thing about the direct approach, though, is your 90% successful opening rate, that's not going to hold here. It's going to be way more polarizing.
And that's totally okay. When you go direct, and by direct, all I mean is you are walking up and putting clear romantic interest on the table from the get-go.
You're making it crystal clear why you're there. When you go direct that way, it's very polarizing.
So you're going to get, when you get a big thumbs up, when you get a really positive response, it's going to be so positive. It's going to be incredible.
It's going to feel like you're a Superman because you're just going to be like, oh my God, I walked up to that woman. I told her she was sexy.
And then she just like her jaw dropped. And next thing I knew, she was demanding I take her out on a date.
That'll change your life. That'll feel amazing.
At the same time, when you go direct, you're going to get a lot of quick blowouts. I don't like the word rejection.
I prefer the word blowout because rejection is a scary word with lots of negativity tied to it. But blowout is like fun.
So I like to call it a blowout. Anyway, if you go direct, you're going to get lots of blowouts.
So just be ready for that. You need a thick skin to do direct approaching.
But man, it's really powerful. So let's talk about direct approaching.
Yeah, so if you want to just like own the moment, create instant attraction, direct approaching is what's going to get it done. Um, women are just not used to men who can walk up and state their interest unhesitatingly in a, in a powerful, confident way.
It's refreshing, it's rare, and it's very sexy to a lot of women, to the women who like it. And I remember the first night in Manhattan or a night, the first night I ever went out and all I did that whole night was I practiced being direct.
It was so scary at first. I gave myself a mission.
Actually, my coach at the time gave me a mission. He said, Connell, go out and I want you to approach every single woman the exact same way.
Go out and tell every woman tonight at this rooftop bar, you're sexy. I had to do that for an entire night.
It was the, you're sexy night. So I go to this rooftop bar, I walk up to a woman and I'm so nervous and I'm like, uh, hi, um, you're sexy.
She's like, okay, great. Nice.
Bye. Second one.
I walked up. Hey, what's going on? How's your night? Wait, no be direct.
Hey, you're sexy. And she was like, oh, okay, well, thanks.
We chatted for a minute, but you know, nothing really happened, but it went a little better the second time. I felt a bit more comfortable.
Then, third girl, long red hair, killer dress, tight, tiny little dress, super cute.

I was getting in the zone because essentially the first two approaches,

my direct approaches got rebuffed, but not in a mean way. They were just like, OK, whatever, dude.

And all of a sudden, I felt like, hey, I don't really have anything to lose here.

And I felt more free. And I walked up, and I just went for it.
And I said, hey, I just saw you, and you're absolutely stunning and sexy. I had to come meet you.
and she looked at me and she just kind of cocked her head and gave me a very sexy look, and she gave me, like, really burning eye contact, like intense eye contact and said, you are cute, but it wasn't just you're cute. She said it with these hungry eyes.

I had never walked up to a beautiful woman before and been that direct from the first words

and had instant attraction.

It was absolutely addictive.

And we were talking.

Our hands were all over each other.

We were making out within minutes. We ended up going back to her apartment.
My memory of that night, I won't, I won't kiss and tell, but my memory is she, she had a, this in her, the second floor of her apartment, she had a duplex and she had like 50 stuffed animals. She had a panther.
One of her stuffed animals was a panther. We texted each other for the whole next couple of weeks.
She's like, panther misses you. You should come back and see panther.
Anyway, all I did was walk up to this gorgeous redhead. And I just said, hey, you're sexy.
I had to meet you. And that created that instant raw animal attraction.
And that's the power of being direct. No mixed signals, no wondering what to say.
You just lead with raw realness. To me, this is like an elemental core way of being what I call radically authentic.
What's more authentic than a masculine, sexually healthy man like you walking up to a gorgeous woman and saying, hey, you're sexy as fuck. I had to meet you.
And again, it's polarizing. That is too direct and too intense for a lot of women.
But for girls like Panther Girl, Ginger Panther Girl, it'll lead to some incredible wins for you. So just be ready that it is by definition polarizing.
Okay, how do you go direct? Well, it's pretty simple. You see her, you take a breath, you walk up with strong eye contact and the most confident, relaxed tone possible, and you just say something simple and direct, clear, simple words that needs to align with clear, strong eye contact and your best posture.
You walk up, stand tall, look her in the eye and say something like, hey, I just saw you and I had to meet you. Or you're absolutely adorable.
Or damn, you're gorgeous. Who are you? Or, hey, I'm here to flirt with you or you are sexy.
Okay. That's it.
No fluff, no overthinking, no worrying about how good the line is. You're leading with raw, honest attraction.
You're a man. She's a woman.
You both want romance and love and sex, not necessarily in that order. Why not just put it on the table? Not that you're just looking up just to bang.
You're not just about sex, but that's why you're there. There's no need to hide it.
And bro, this blew my mind when I saw how well this can work. Because if you're

like me, you are thinking, well, you can't walk up to a woman and say something sexual. That's creepy and weird.
Take it from me. I've been doing this.
I've been approaching women for 16 years and working on this area for 20 years and coaching for 13 years. You absolutely can be direct and create mad sparks.
You just have to do it with real commitment. You can't half-ass this.
You got to use your whole ass. No, you can't use every part of your ass.
And I'll say it again. It's how you say it is more important than what you say.
So we're talking about clear, simple language. You're sexy.
You're gorgeous. Hey, what's up? I had to meet you.
I just came over because I had to say hi to you. You're sexy.
Something like that. The words are clear, but listen to my voice.
It's my voice is clear as well. There needs to be an alignment.
Your words, your voice, your eye contact, it's all got to be aligned. That's how direct works.
There's an alignment. You're owning it.
And you're clear in your interest and you're totally okay and free from how it goes. This is so mesmerizing to women.
When you walk up with that clear

directness, but you also are okay if she doesn't want to date you, that creates, my old coach used

to say, clear intent, freedom from outcome. Clear intent, be free from outcome.
It's like your goal

is just to go for it at 100%. So that is a quick little overview of going direct.
When to be direct? Well, it is context specific. Generally speaking, a direct, more sexual open is going to be better at night.
it bars, it lounges, but in bars, lounges, you know, the dance floor, a bar, a club on a Friday or Saturday night. You can walk up to a woman in the middle of a bar and say, Hey, I just saw you.
You're gorgeous. What's your name? Boom.
That's a great direct open or you're sexy or Hey, I just saw you. Who are you? I had to meet you.
Pretty clear what that intent is, right? And it's really attractive to lots of women. At the same time, you can be direct in the daytime.
In the daytime, you just don't want to use words like sexy. Probably.
You want to use words like adorable. That Allison story I told you earlier, the girl who was lying in bed with me saying, oh my god, I loved how innocent you were.
The word I used there, my favorite direct open for the daytime, the best word to use is adorable. Oh, hey, you're adorable.
What's your name? Oh, hey, you're adorable. What brings you to the coffee shop today? You're adorable is direct, but it's innocent.
It's not sexual. You're not saying something vulgar.
But you are putting that clear intent, that clear romantic interest on the line, which is the whole point of being direct. So think direct, gravitate toward directness at night, bars, lounges, a little bit less in the daytime.
Although if you are going to do it in the daytime, use the word adorable or just take the word sex out of it. I wouldn't walk up to many women in the daytime and say, hey, you're sexy.
I mean, I have, but it's pretty hit and miss. I remember I remember I've had good, I've had good success with your gorgeous.
And I remember I was at a bookstore once and I was just in the zone. I was feeling confident and really comfortable.
Oh, here's another tip about when to be direct. Only be direct.
Generally when you want to be direct, when you start feeling in more in the zone, when you feel those good vibes that's when you want to be direct. Generally, you want to be direct when you start feeling more in the zone.
When you feel those good vibes, that's when you want to be direct because then you'll really own it.

and I was in the zone once this one day I remember I walked up to a beautiful uh woman in her mid 20s probably well I know she was because we dated but I saw her at the bookstore and she was wearing

an NYU t-shirt and long brown hair and tight jeans and just

Thank you. Well, I know she was because we dated, but I saw her at the bookstore and she was wearing an NYU t-shirt and long brown hair and tight jeans and just visually, physically, totally my type.
And in the daytime, I'd mainly been using the natural approach method. But you know what? It was really more authentic to be direct with her because that's how I was feeling.
So I walked over and I actually tapped her on her shoulder from behind, which is probably not the perfect technique, but I did it anyway. Tapped her on the shoulder, she turned, and I said, hey, I just saw you and you're gorgeous.
Had to meet you. What's up? I'm Connell.
Her eyes lit up. Her jaw dropped.
Not literally, but she was just, I could see that instant attraction. And we just chatted for a couple of minutes.
And then I got her number and we dated for a while. It was just a fling.
It wasn't like love or anything. But man, all I did is I walked up and I led with my best direct open.
Okay, so direct approaching isn't about lines. Although we do want that clear language there.
It's about energy. And it's about just putting that card on the table saying, Hey, this is who I am.
This is why I'm talking to you. Why, why bullshit about it? Why, um, why beat around the bush and women, a lot of women just really respond to bold men.
So if you are willing to take that shot, you might be surprised at how many women love a guy who just steps up and goes for it. Okay.
So direct opening is really, really powerful. And I would say for you going forward, after listening to this episode, definitely start with the natural approaching method, compliments, questions, observations.
Why? Because it's going to give you such a high batting average for starting interactions. You're going to start getting lots of reps and wins and conversations, and you're going to let go of that fear of approaching and that fear of rejection.
Once you get some momentum going there, then I would say start integrating being direct. Hey, you're adorable.
Hey, you're sexy. Hey, who are you? You're sweet or you're sweet.
You're, you're, uh, you're sexy as fuck or whatever you would say. Um, and I would, that's how I would do it.
I would start by primarily doing the natural approaching method. Okay.
Um, moving toward the wrap up here, I want to throw a quick little mindset tip at you. Keep this in mind, and this is especially true when you're being direct, but just approaching in general.
Not every woman is going to be into you romantically or otherwise. In fact, you just want to pre-accept that most of the women who you approach and talk to, most of them, you're never going to date them.
Most of these women, you're never going to have, be in a relationship with, or even have a date with. And so it's so important to keep that in mind and decide, Hey, you know what? I may as well enjoy everyone.
I may as well feel really good about every step I take, every approach I make, because I'm not going to have dates from most of them. So think of all of them as a win.
Each one builds your confidence. Think of each approach as getting you closer to your next breakthrough.
Every approach builds your character, as I said in the last episode. And what you'll find is that in time, if you truly see approaching as a win-win, because either she likes you or you learn something or you've taken a big step toward being that 1% man, that authentic, confident, authentic 1% man, every approach becomes a win.
And so please, again, I want to repeat something I said in the last episode. Please don't see approaching as a win-lose.
It's a win-win. It's a win-win paradigm, not a win-lose paradigm.
Approaching beautiful women changed my life in so many ways. I would not be a dating coach right now if I had never approached women.
I would not be doing this podcast right now. I would not be helping you, I hope, helping you right now if I had never gone out to meet women in real life.
And the beautiful thing about being able to meet them is using the natural approaching framework or being direct. This will open up a whole new set of options for you.
You don't have to be stuck in the ghetto of dating apps anymore. You can meet women anywhere and everywhere.
You can have your social circle or the women or people you meet in what's called a social circle,

you can literally have a social circle wherever you go,

meaning you could talk to anybody who's around you.

And so approaching women and just, this is the most powerful thing I've ever done in my dating past.

The most value and reward came from this area that we're talking about this week and approaching women and chatting them up. My current girlfriend, current girlfriend, my girlfriend, and my hopefully forever girlfriend, Jess, I met her on a dating app.
But the previous three relationships I had over the last 10 or 12 years, that's the span. All three of them, the three loves of my life before I found my true soulmate now, the three loves of my life I had, I met them all from approaching.
The woman I dedicated my book to, the woman of the teens for me, she was the Woman of the decade, I called her. I met her at a club in Vegas.

I've met her at a club in Vegas. I've met my girlfriend, a previous girlfriend at coffee shops.
So anyway, I just wanted to remind you of the reward that's waiting for you if you get out there and start approaching. So let's do a little recap here.
Here's the old way of what you've been doing.

The old way overthinking it. Sitting there trying to craft the perfect opener, the perfect approach, say the perfect thing, create instant attraction, worrying about getting rejected, feeling frozen in your head, not knowing what to say because you're trying to say something perfect, and you do nothing and she walks away that's the old way we're done with that old way okay

starting today not knowing what to say because you're trying to say something perfect and you do nothing. And she walks away.
That's the old way. We're done with that old way.
Okay. Starting today, you're done with that.
Here's the new way. The new way is the natural, authentic approaching method, where instead of searching for that perfect line, you take in the situation, you check in with how you feel about yourself and what you observe, and you say, hey, here's a compliment.
Excuse me, miss. You have really cool tattoos.
I love the design and the colors you chose. Or maybe you see that gorgeous woman and you say, oh, hey, I see that you're drinking a mocha cappa latte chino.
How is it? Are you a hot coffee drinker or do you switch it up with iced? Or maybe you see that gorgeous woman and you're at a bookstore and you say, hey, pardon me, miss. I see that you're reading an actual book.
That is so rare these days. That's really cool.
Do you read e-books and audio books or are you more of an old school paper reader? See how simple that is? No overthinking, not trying too hard, not memorizing a bunch of scripted stuff that's going to get you stuck in your head. We just want to give women that moment.
Here's what I want you to do. I want you to think of it like, I want to give women that it just happened moment.
Women don't want to feel like a guy came up and approached her and said perfect game. What women want is to feel like an organic, natural, real, authentic conversation just happened.
And that's what this method will do for you. And I think of this as giving women gifts.
This is making you a gift giver. Think about the gift you're giving her.
If you and she hit it off, she's going to be texting her girlfriends later saying, oh my God, I just met the coolest, most charming guy. We were just at the coffee shop and we started chatting.
He said something about what I was writing on my laptop. Before I knew it, I was giving him my number.
We're going out tomorrow. It was like from a movie.
That's that real life, it just happened moment. Like a movie moment that you can give women, but you're also giving this to yourself too.
And I just love that idea because, hey, your future

girlfriend who is going to be in your life soon, your future girlfriend, for your entire relationship,

the two of you are going to be getting this question from friends and family and people you

meet. You're going to hear this so many times.
You're going to hear, so how'd you two meet?

How'd you guys meet? And now using what you've learned today and what you're learning this week, you and your future girlfriend will be able to say, well, it's so charming, but she'll say, oh, I was ordering a smoothie at the juice place, and he just came up to me and he said, mango. get mango that's the one to get or whatever you would say that's an actual story from a client um but you'll be able to have an amazing answer to the question how did you two meet for the rest of your lives uh because hey you know most people meet on dating apps or online these days and i'm totally fine fine with that.
My girlfriend and I met that way. But you'll be able to say, well, I just saw her and I had to go talk to her.
And I was feeling really bold and courageous. And I walked over and we had instant chemistry.
And she is going to love and you are going to love being able to talk about how you and your future girlfriend met once everybody hears about you and her. Okay, here is your mission for this episode.
I challenge you, I, your dating coach, your podcast dating coach, I hereby challenge you to go out into the real world and use any one of the three natural approach openers and do it in the next 24 hours. 24 hours from now, I want you to have talked to at least one woman using either a compliment, a question, or an observation.
And if it goes well, if you, or I should say, if you feel good, forget how it goes in terms of the result. If you feel good about it, which I think you will, bonus points if you then want to follow up and do a more direct open.
Walk up to a woman and tell her she's adorable. Walk up to a woman and tell her that you saw her and had to meet her.
Bonus if you want to be. Try the direct as well.
But start with the compliment question observation option. Try one of these more natural approaches that I've been talking about.
And it's time to get out of your head. It's time to start meeting some incredible women and get you dates and soon get you a great girlfriend.
Okay, next episode. Now that you have both the mindset of approaching, the right mindset, the confidence from the last episode, and now that you know how to break the ice, how to approach in all the different ways, now you're going to have to know how to keep the conversation going, right? You need to know what to say after you approach.
You need to know how to get phone numbers. You need to know how to get phone numbers that don't flake, how to get dates, how to have good, fun, flirty conversations and never run out of things to say.
Well, that will be the next episode. That's all coming up in part three, where I'm going to show you how to have fun, flirty, authentic conversations that lead you to getting the digits without getting ghosted and without getting flaked on.
So that will be the next episode. Until then, don't forget, your dream

girlfriend is out there and she's going to love you. She just has to meet the real authentic you.

So go out there, take action. Carpe datum.
Seize the date.