Say “I Do” To a Joint Bank Account? Sharna Burgess on Wedding Planning and Financial Planning

Speaker 1 Here's one piece of advice that I've given for years: Build an emergency fund. Aim to stash away enough to cover at least three months of expenses in case your income suddenly drops.

Speaker 1 Sounds simple, right? But let's be honest, it's not. Saving even one month's worth of living costs can feel impossible.

Speaker 1 Just when you're making progress, that check engine light blinks on and derails your plans. Life already throws enough curveballs.
You don't need your bank adding to the chaos.

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Speaker 1 Work on your financial goals through QIIME today. Open an account in just two minutes at chime.com/slash MNN.
That's chime.com/slash MNN. Chime feels like progress.

Speaker 2 Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bank Corporation Bank NA or Stripe Bank NA.
Members FDIC.

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Fees apply at Out of Network ATMs, bank ranking, and number of ATMs, according to U.S.

Speaker 2 News and World Report 2023. Chime, checking account required.

Speaker 3 I live in LA now, but lately I have been craving the seasons. Snow, hot cocoa, the whole thing.

Speaker 3 I don't even ski, but I have been daydreaming about working remotely from somewhere really cozy on the East Coast, like a cute little ski town for a little bit.

Speaker 3 And whenever I know I'm going to be gone for a while, I always remind myself that my home can actually be working for me while I'm away because I host my space on Airbnb.

Speaker 3 It is one of the easiest ways to earn passive income from something you already have, and that extra income feels particularly helpful this time of year as we approach the holidays.

Speaker 3 A lot of my friends say that sounds amazing, but where do you find the time to manage guests and bookings? And that's when I tell them about Airbnb's co-host network.

Speaker 3 Through Airbnb, you can find a local co-host who can help you set up your listing, handle reservations, communicate with guests, provide on-site support, even help with design and styling.

Speaker 3 I like to give a personal touch when I'm hosting on Airbnb. So I make a list of my favorite restaurants in the area and I handwrite a note welcoming my guests to the property.

Speaker 3 My guests love it, but I also know that some of those little personal touches can take a lot of extra time. So this is the exact kind of thing that you would want your co-host to help you with.

Speaker 3 Whether you're traveling for work or chasing the snow or escaping it, or you've got a second place that just sits there empty more often than you'd like, your home doesn't have to just sit there.

Speaker 3 You can make extra money from it without taking on extra work.

Speaker 1 Find a co-host at airbnb.com slash host. Here's one piece of advice that I've given for years.
Build an emergency fund.

Speaker 1 Aim to stash away enough to cover at least three months of expenses in case your income suddenly drops. Sounds simple, right? But let's be honest, it's not.

Speaker 1 Saving even one month's worth of living costs can feel impossible. Just when you're making progress, that check engine light blinks on and derails your plans.
Life already throws enough curveballs.

Speaker 1 You don't need your bank adding to the chaos. That's why it's so important to choose one that makes savings easy and doesn't nibble away at your hard-earned money with ridiculous fees.

Speaker 1 QIIME understands that every dollar counts.

Speaker 1 That's why when you set up direct deposit through QIIME, you get access to fee-free features like free overdraft coverage, getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit, and more.

Speaker 1 With qualifying direct deposits, you're eligible for free overdraft up to $200 on debit card purchases and cash withdrawals. To date, Chime has spotted members over $30 billion.

Speaker 1 Work on your financial goals through QIIME today. Open an account in just two minutes at chime.com slash MNN.
That's chime.com slash MNN. Chime feels like progress.

Speaker 2 Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bankcore Bank NA or Stripe Bank NA.
Members, FDIC.

Speaker 2 Spot me eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Timing depends on submission of payment file.

Speaker 2 Fees apply at out-of-network ATMs, bank ranking, and number of ATMs, according to US News and World Report 2023. Chime checking account required.

Speaker 1 This episode is brought to you by Bank of America.

Speaker 1 I'm Nicole Lapin, the only financial expert you don't need a dictionary to understand.

Speaker 1 It's time for some money rehab.

Speaker 1 I am somewhat of a romantic. I mean, I was a poetry major after all.
So yes, I do love love. But what I'm obsessed with now is love and money, and making sure to protect both in our relationships.

Speaker 1 What I think we all heard growing up when it came to money and relationships was what's mine is yours.

Speaker 1 But I think we've collectively grown out of that so-called conventional wisdom and can graduate to a better philosophy.

Speaker 1 Today, I'm talking about this with Sharona Burgess, who's a dancer, a dancing with the stars alum, in fact, and a podcaster.

Speaker 1 I was on her podcast, Oldish, that she co-hosts with her fiancé, Brian Austin Green, yes, from 90210, and life coach Randy Spelling.

Speaker 1 I honestly had so much fun on her show, and I put her and Brian on the spot about whether or not they were going to get a prenu. That was about a year ago now.

Speaker 1 So today I'm checking back in and hearing about Sharna and Brian's approach to money in their relationship now. And I give my favorite strategies for setting good financial habits as a couple.

Speaker 1 Sharna Burchis, welcome to Money Rehab.

Speaker 4 Thank you for having me.

Speaker 1 I'm so excited that you're here.

Speaker 4 I'm so excited that I'm here too. I loved when you were on Oldish.
So getting to hang with you with you.

Speaker 1 I loved being on Oldish that you co-host with Randy and your boo, Brian. Yeah.
You guys are on Zoom, so URL, but now we're IRL.

Speaker 4 Yes, we are. And so is Oldish too.
We're IRL. And now Oldish is IRL and people are seeing it on YouTube and they're loving it.
It feels so good for people to be able to see the content too.

Speaker 4 I never realized how important that was. It's not just the conversation.
Some people love to watch it. So yeah, it's super fun.

Speaker 1 I'm going to invite myself back.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you should. We would love to.

Speaker 4 Actually, it's so funny when you reached out to me to be here with you brian was like you're kidding i literally thought about her this week to bring her back on oldish because we she was so amazing we would love to have you back i have some thoughts because when we were on last time i've been dying to ask you about follow-ups to what we talked about specifically around the prenup yeah

Speaker 4 Right. We haven't even gotten into that.
Our wedding is so far away. We're so busy, at least for these next 12 months.
And what I do know is I want to go big with it.

Speaker 4 It doesn't mean it's bringing a castle, but I want to be able to have all the money in the world to do all the things, fly my family from Australia.

Speaker 4 And we're not in that position right now to just blow all of that money on a wedding.

Speaker 4 So I'd rather wait for us like a year or two for all these jobs that we've got coming up and then be in a place where we go, yeah, let's do the whole thing.

Speaker 1 So, how is the wedding planning going?

Speaker 4 It's just on hold because we don't haven't necessarily set a date. And we're also just incredibly happy and busy and in our parenthood era.

Speaker 4 And it's like trying to plan another thing on top of all the things we already planned feels chaotic and feels like another task we're just not prepared for right now.

Speaker 4 But we have talked about what do we want to do? Is it a big, massive thing or is it small? And I definitely keep going back and forth.

Speaker 4 But what I do know is I want to be able to bring everyone I love from all over the world. And I want it to most likely be a destination thing.

Speaker 4 And I want it to be not just a one night, but also the week of. I grew up going to these Russian weddings and European weddings.
And it's not just the wedding. You know,

Speaker 4 it's an extravaganza. And I love that.
I love the parties before it because all the guests get to know each other.

Speaker 4 So by the time the wedding comes around, everyone's mates, everyone's had drinks, everyone's on a really great page with each other. And then you have the after party and then you go home.

Speaker 4 So we need a big budget for this.

Speaker 1 We do. We need a big budget for this wedding.
This is a wedding rehab.

Speaker 4 Yeah, wedding rehab. This is exactly what we need.

Speaker 1 But catch me up. So when I was on with you guys, I could just feel even URL.

Speaker 1 You have so much chemistry. You and Brian are just so cute.
I just couldn't stand it.

Speaker 4 It's wild, right? We knew there was chemistry on the very first date when we sat down and we lost time, right?

Speaker 4 We spoke for nearly four or five hours and shut down the restaurant and almost missed work. And we did that a few more times before we even kissed.

Speaker 4 And I remember thinking, God, it feels so fun being around him and talking to him is so easy. And it's just, it's amazing.

Speaker 4 And we've had so much life happen in the last four years that we've also discovered we're such a good team.

Speaker 4 So it's not just all chemistry and fun, but we are really great at keeping each other accountable and grounded, focused. We parent well together.
It really does feel like an amazing match.

Speaker 4 Doesn't mean it's all peaches. You know what I mean? Yeah, rainbows and butterflies.
We certainly have our stuff.

Speaker 1 Everybody does.

Speaker 4 Everybody does. But we work through it together, which is great.

Speaker 1 Did somebody introduce you guys? Yes, we have.

Speaker 4 It's the weirdest thing. Our mutual business manager, he's been with Laurie for 20 plus years.
I've been with her since just before I was 30, so almost 10 years.

Speaker 4 And she said to me one day, she said, I've got a client that I really think you should meet. He's ready to date.
And every time I'm with him, I think of you.

Speaker 4 And every time I'm with you, I think of him. And it's the weirdest thing.
And she's a business man. She does my taxes and makes sure I don't spend too much money, help me buy a house.

Speaker 4 Yeah, she's your kind of lady. She is not a Cupid.
And so it was the weirdest request that it was like, how can I not say yes to this? I've totally got to say yes.

Speaker 4 Cause I was also trying the dating apps and trying the things and it was just horrendous. Dating in LA is the worst.
And so we went on this date. And she said to me, she said, it's Brian Austin Green.

Speaker 4 I was like, okay, cool. Who's that? I had absolutely no idea.
Looked him up. Oh, I know that face.
And on paper. Dating Brian Austin Green could have been very complicated.

Speaker 4 Everything he was going through, he's already got kids. I knew I was probably going to be with someone that already had kids.
Why? Because of age.

Speaker 4 At that point, I knew I wanted someone grown that had experienced life. I didn't want someone younger than me necessarily.
And at that point, some people have kids already.

Speaker 4 So I was already open to it. But on paper, there was already four kids and an ex-wife.
They were currently going through divorce at the time.

Speaker 4 So you would think on paper, oh, that's a lot of red flags. That's a lot of stuff.
Maybe not. But it was the easiest thing I'd ever done.

Speaker 4 And there's, I don't know what kind of magic that is other than it was just the right energy, the right frequency, and something about it just meant to be, because it still feels like the easiest thing I've ever done.

Speaker 1 I love that. Also, some financial magic.
Okay, Laurie. I know, Laurie.

Speaker 1 Wild. Don't underestimate your financial advisor.

Speaker 4 She reminds me of it every week when we catch up about business things. She'll be in the wedding party for sure.
She has to be.

Speaker 1 She introduced us. Do you guys, so you use her now?

Speaker 4 Yeah, she's still our business manager.

Speaker 4 So she works with both of us has it changed how you guys work with her it's interesting she works with us individually both the same way and we have our own stuff and things but we also have our home accounts and our things that are for the both of us that we put into every month and she puts the same in for us or she lets us know where we're at if things need to be adjusted because someone hasn't worked as much or whatever life is life she's helped me understand taxes and money and being better at being accountable for it.

Speaker 4 Because before her, Nicole, let me tell you, when I came to Los Angeles and started earning TV money, I spent every dollar of that TV money, not understanding or not realizing, had a bad business manager before that that didn't keep me accountable for anything, didn't help me build credit.

Speaker 4 I was in the worst of ways before Laurie came along. And she's taught me a lot since then.

Speaker 1 You spent every dollar. What would you say to younger Sharna who was doing that?

Speaker 1 Stop.

Speaker 4 And, you, well, you know what? It's wild. I didn't realize I was doing that because I wasn't going and buying Louis Vuitton handbags.
I was spending it on convenience.

Speaker 4 I was always, I was buying extra stuff at the airport that I didn't really need on the plane, always valeting, always. There's all the little things that would add up.

Speaker 1 5,000 cups.

Speaker 4 I could have cut all of that back, bought two Louis Vuitton handbags that year, and still had money left over if I had just paid attention to the way that I was spending. It was overspending on

Speaker 1 convenience and and just the abundance of things that i didn't need overspending on having more than i needed just cause or i don't know if i feel like eating that or that so i'll get both terrible but there is like mindful eating there's mindfulness in so many other aspects now i like to talk about mindful spending too because you can do it or you can online shop without even realizing just paying attention to what you're paying attention to when it comes to finances goes a long way

Speaker 4 It really goes a long way.

Speaker 1 And so, when you guys have your own account, it's yours, mine, and ours. Is that how you guys split the finances?

Speaker 4 Yeah, and I don't know what he has personally. Like, I well, I know-ish, but I don't look at it.
Do you know what I mean? That's his business. I have my business.

Speaker 4 We're very transparent with each other. If anyone's having a month or two where it's like things are a little tighter this month or whatever, we'll be open with each other.

Speaker 4 But I'm not on top of his finances, and he's not on top of mine. We have Laurie for that, but I don't want to be either.

Speaker 4 I think for me, I have trauma with it because I watched it destroying my mum and dad. My dad had a business.
My mum tried to help because she was an accountant and it just, it didn't work.

Speaker 4 The money conversations in the house were really rough. So I also have an aversion to knowing too much about what's going on with him.

Speaker 4 I just need to know we're solid or if we're on rocky ground and like where we're at. But I don't want to know.
I don't want him to feel like he has to tell me.

Speaker 4 And I don't want to feel like I have to check in on it all the time. Because I feel like it's one of those things.

Speaker 4 Once you unlock your boyfriend's phone and you start going through his stuff, you'll unlock it every week to go through his stuff.

Speaker 4 Yeah. And I don't want to do that to someone's personal business.
I just want transparency if you're having a hard time and let me know what you need from me to assist with that and vice versa.

Speaker 1 But it's amazing that you know where that comes from. Like you have some clear financial trauma around.

Speaker 1 Did your parents get divorced? Oh, yeah. Over this.

Speaker 4 over finances over many things they honestly weren't the greatest match in the world they stayed together for me and so all the things went wrong with them and it was a pretty tumultuous household but one of the big things was money my dad was terrible with it terrible with spending on convenience and some of the little habits that i'd picked up but he also had this idea of wanting to appear that he had more money than he did So it was the house that we rented.

Speaker 4 It was the cars that we drove. It was all the things that he'd spend money on luxury things to appear more wealthy than he was.

Speaker 4 But the crazy thing was that I did pick up from him was he earned so much money, he just spent it all and didn't live within his means. And so therefore he had nothing at the end of his life.

Speaker 4 And there is a whole lot of money trauma and financial trauma there.

Speaker 4 I lent him money so much as an adult, he blew it on all sorts of crazy things until it got to a point where I had to cut it off and say no. I had to stop enabling him that way.

Speaker 4 So I'm always constantly aware of a fear of being like him now that i've learned about money more when i first got here because i don't want to end up like him you know wow it sounds like you recognized early on some of the patterns though that you were seeing in yourself that you picked up from him is there anything you have to stop yourself with if you're if you're noticing that you're trying to keep up this is probably pretty keep up with the joneses keep pre keep up the kardashians keep up with whoever that idea that you might have inherited from him like do you notice him in some of your financial habits now not so much the keeping up with the joneses but i certainly love nice things but it would be more the convenience spending if it makes it easier then yeah if it saves five minutes then yeah valet all the time sure i love that it's just something that's built in me and i have to be a bit more aware of that which i am now And certainly having kids puts those priorities above your convenience and comfort.

Speaker 4 I'd rather save for things for them than spend on convenience things for me. So that's also changed my spending a lot.
But

Speaker 4 I will never forget the first time I sat down and got a statement of what was left in my account. And I think that year I had earned $480,000, right? That's a very decent amount of money.

Speaker 4 And there was, after paying taxes at the end of the year, absolutely nothing left. Like we're talking less than five grand that was going to be left in my account.
And I did not understand.

Speaker 4 I thought there was fraud. I thought there was something going on.
Someone's taking my money, like all of this.

Speaker 4 And I got moved over to a new business manager and she took me through all my spending. She's like, no, Shana, look, here is where it's all going.
And I was flawed.

Speaker 4 Absolutely flawed that all those little things ended up costing so much money. And that's where I made my adjustment.

Speaker 1 Because it's not ultimately what you make.

Speaker 4 It's what you keep. What you keep.
You said that.

Speaker 1 And it never left me.

Speaker 4 It's never left me. It stuck with me.
And honestly, chatting with you, it stuck with me. And that very simple line of not what you make, it's what you keep.

Speaker 4 I get and have been so focused on make more, make more, make more money driven, make more instead of keep more, keep more, keep more.

Speaker 1 Yeah, or invest more. And it's not even below your means.
The adage is live within your means. Yeah.
If you live within your means, you're spending all of it.

Speaker 1 You have have to actually live below your means.

Speaker 4 It was Bry that said, what was it? Who was it that said?

Speaker 4 I think he said it was, he was listening to something about Kevin Hart or whatever and how he spends his money, whatever, some other celebrity with a hell of a lot more money than us.

Speaker 4 But he would cut it into three sections, half of it, gone. Don't even consider it money, which I absolutely do.
He said, and then what you've got left, have it again. Put half of that away.

Speaker 4 And then what you've got left is what you can spend on your life, on your expenses, on your luxuries. It made so much sense to Brian.
It made so much sense to me.

Speaker 4 And so, we really do try and do that a lot of the time.

Speaker 4 Every now and then, when you're looking at your account, you're like, oh, but we could spend it all on this one thing, or we could go big, or we could refurb the whole house.

Speaker 4 It's like, well, let me think about that for a second. So, we try and be as sensible as we can, save some, live

Speaker 4 within to under our means.

Speaker 1 It's hard. It's hard.
It's so hard, especially with kids. It's actually funny because that's advice that you give kids as they're learning about money.
You have a share, spend, save account.

Speaker 1 So there's three buckets compared to like.

Speaker 4 So this was kid advice that we took.

Speaker 1 Excellent.

Speaker 4 So it's the basics, 101 of money saving.

Speaker 1 But it's true. As you're thinking about kids, like they're watching you.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Everything you do. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Whether you spend, whether you save. I mean, look, you saw it with your dad.

Speaker 4 Yes. And it imprinted on me.
And I don't want that to happen to them. And they're also very good at saving their money.

Speaker 4 They've been given the gift cards and the cash from the grandparents and whatever. Our 12-year-old has $1,000.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, hold on. So,

Speaker 1 wait, what?

Speaker 4 A thousand is so good at saving. Our younger journey, he's even got

Speaker 4 probably like $600. They've all just saved up over the years of Christmas money and gift cards.

Speaker 4 And admittedly, some of the sums that they get given for the Tooth Fairy are well beyond what the Tooth Fairy delivered for me.

Speaker 1 It hasn't been going great for the Tooth Fairy.

Speaker 4 Girl, I don't even know. Listen, I got a $2 coin when it was the tooth fairy for me in Australia, those little gold coins.
But when they lost their first tooth, I wasn't present for this.

Speaker 4 It was a $100 note.

Speaker 4 A hundred dollar note.

Speaker 1 And then my teeth out right now.

Speaker 1 All of them. Let's go do it.

Speaker 4 We'll get veneers afterwards.

Speaker 4 And we had a conversation about that. I was like, babe, it cannot be this.
This is crazy. The expectation on that.
And he was like, no, it's just the first one because it's such a magical thing.

Speaker 4 And then it's $5

Speaker 4 a tooth after that.

Speaker 1 I'm like, oh, it's hard to

Speaker 1 it's hard to go from a hundred to from a hundred to five i know

Speaker 4 but yeah so they actually are very good at saving money and not spending theirs and getting us to spend ours how did that happen i think because the lesson has not been taught yet of all right if you want this then you get to spend your own money for it and i don't think either of us actually realized how much money they had saved up so it would just they took it seriously so now we do employ if we go to Target, we go to anywhere.

Speaker 4 If anyone wants anything special that is outside the realm of what you need, then that has to come out of their money. And it changes very, very quickly when they realize how much it was.

Speaker 4 We were in a store with one of my kids the other day. They picked up like three to four things, got to the counter.
And when the bill came through for $200, they were like, huh?

Speaker 4 And they're like, no, we'll just put. three of those things away.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 So they only spent like $50.

Speaker 1 It's crazy to ask kids how much things cost or like start teaching them just directionally, like how much a house is or a car

Speaker 1 or little things at the grocery store.

Speaker 4 Like $1,000. You're like, yeah, sort of.

Speaker 1 Also asking kids how old you are is pretty depressing.

Speaker 4 I would avoid that at all costs.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I agree. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So when you guys have Lori look at your joint account, do you do it as a set amount or do you do it as a weighted amount?

Speaker 4 A weighted based on what we're earning that month.

Speaker 4 We make sure that there is obviously more than enough to cover what our monthly expenses are between house expenses kid expenses insurances and cars life expenses like that you share all of it actually cars is individual but like home bills and also kid stuff is all in there we share that

Speaker 4 and so we just make sure there's enough in there certainly if someone hasn't brought in enough that month she scales it down if the other one can pick up the slack on it but it's a case-by-case basis Because of the way that we work and the industry that we're in, one minute it's flowing and it's massive and it's amazing.

Speaker 4 And the next minute, you're like, I've got to buckle down for six months and it's a little bit tighter. So it's really not a set thing every month in the way that it works.

Speaker 4 We have a conversation if we need to and adjust from there.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because if you have something more consistent, one way to think about it is to do like yours, mine, and ours. And then if you put a percentage in and it's 50%, like it feels more weighted.

Speaker 1 If somebody makes a million dollars, 50% is 500 grand and the other person makes 100 grand, 50% is 50 grand, but it feels like the same sort of weight versus a set dollar amount.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I agree with you. Sometimes it can feel unfair if somebody's bringing in different amounts of money.

Speaker 4 Of course.

Speaker 1 But as you guys are, it feels fickle or like jobs come, projects come and go. Have you had to psychologically come to terms with the idea that it could be feast or famine, but not that extreme?

Speaker 4 We're thankfully not in that position. And thankfully, we've had amazing careers that have set us up pretty well.

Speaker 4 But certainly, when in the way the industry has been recently, when you go for long enough without those massive checks coming in, you think, ooh, how long is this going to last for?

Speaker 4 Let me look at what we've got. Let me see how long until we start freaking out.
And I've certainly had those moments.

Speaker 4 Like when I first said no to dancing with the stars, and then that second year came around where they didn't bring me back. I was like, wait, that's now two years in a row without the TV money.

Speaker 4 Let me, let me just look because I'm thinking, oh, we're sweet. Like, I'm going to get to the end of the year, gonna make that money, we'll be fine.

Speaker 4 And so, I absolutely had to sit with Laurie and look and be like, Am I good? Do I need anything? Am I in freak out mode?

Speaker 4 No, you're fine, but obviously, don't go buy another house or don't go buy three Louis Vuitton handbags. Like, you don't know when the next job is coming in.

Speaker 1 I feel like, like even since we last talked, you have started thinking more about not getting squirmish about money. Because when I was on your show, you guys were a little weird about it.

Speaker 4 You got to think we, what was that? A little over a year ago?

Speaker 1 It was pre-baby.

Speaker 4 He was pre-baby. So let's say a little over a year ago.
So much life has happened in those four years. So we're still catching up on all those things and conversation.

Speaker 4 We had a baby a lot quicker than we thought we were going to. I was on birth control at the time and Zane was just meant to be here.
It was divine timing and I'm grateful and he's perfect.

Speaker 4 But we were like, oh my God. And so I think because life was just in like a tunnel at full speed for a second there, there were some conversations that just got missed.

Speaker 4 And we never had to worry about those things because we'd always been fine.

Speaker 4 But then, of course, you bring up money and you're like, wait, we've never actually spoken about all of this with each other. We dance over the subjects with each other.
And it did.

Speaker 4 It opened it up much more.

Speaker 1 I'm so good at dancing.

Speaker 4 I'm so good at dancing, Nicole, that I could just dance right by it and no one would know that we just didn't even think about talking about it.

Speaker 4 But now it is a conversation because it's accountability and it's transparency. And like I said, I don't want to know everything that he has, but I do want transparency to know what state we're in.

Speaker 4 If I need to help, if you're not good, if you're having a freak out about it, let's talk about it. Let's figure out how we can bring more in together, like whatever that is.

Speaker 4 But I don't want to be over his

Speaker 4 because I feel like I'm not your mom and that's not my job. And I feel like that takes away some of the romance in some way for me because of my parent drama.
But we do have better conversations now.

Speaker 4 And I do think a lot of that opened up because we did the podcast with you. Absolutely.
Like when we left it, Brian got all of your books.

Speaker 1 We have all of them in the house.

Speaker 4 He was so into it. We constantly send each other all the things, like some of the stuff you share on Instagram or money conversations and tips and ideas.
So, it is, we're growing and we're learning.

Speaker 1 You are, that's all you can do. That's all you can do.

Speaker 1 It sounds like you've opened up these conversations not only about your current finances but your future finances and what that looks like, and goals have price tags and planning for that.

Speaker 1 Did you revisit the pre-nap conversation? We haven't.

Speaker 4 We have not. I think we blacked it out.

Speaker 1 Hold on to your wallets. Money rehab rehab will be right back.

Speaker 4 And now for some more Money Rehab.

Speaker 1 Did you revisit the pre-nab conversation? No, we haven't.

Speaker 4 We have not. I think we blacked it out.
But it's definitely a conversation that we need to have.

Speaker 4 And I honestly think that even Laurie would take us down that road once we get to planning this wedding and truly setting a date.

Speaker 4 Because I know that she's got a lot of clients that have obviously been through divorce and all sorts of things and has seen the horror stories of it when there's not a prenum.

Speaker 4 But yeah, it's a great idea, but we have not done it yet.

Speaker 1 I'm happy to help dude. Yeah, you meeting Laurie Brian

Speaker 4 was definitely not doing a lot of dying.

Speaker 1 Totally. You said when I was on the show that something about it gave you a vibe of distrust.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's like this old, no, not anymore. I think that

Speaker 4 was this belief of, oh, but you're preparing for it to fail. But I don't see that now.
I don't think of it that way at least. I think protecting yourself is a beautiful thing.

Speaker 4 And knowing that there is security and comfort there in that and that everything is fair and you've made the decisions, I think it's incredibly smart.

Speaker 1 Because you have health insurance, right? Yeah. You don't think of it as like sick planning.
Yeah. Car insurance.

Speaker 4 I don't want to get sick, but just in case it happens, I need to have something in place. Exactly.

Speaker 1 Yeah. We shouldn't think about prenaps as divorce planning either because we don't think crash insurance for car insurance.
Right. It's just protecting yourself.
I think they just get a bad rap.

Speaker 1 It can feel really awkward. But if you take back the power and the ownership of that conversation, it takes away some of that awkwardness, I think.
I agree. Or start the conversation.

Speaker 1 If somebody is feeling weird about it, once you open up about something vulnerable, it gives another person license to do the same thing. Agree.
But somebody has to go first. Yes.

Speaker 1 To be like, listen, baby, this is our big, beautiful life. You, me, Zane, all the kids, the whole clan, all of our hopes and dreams.
This is about planning and a vision.

Speaker 1 You can vision board around what that looks like for you.

Speaker 1 And then, oh my gosh, I love you so much. We've been in our money rehab era and prenups and are just a part of that discussion.

Speaker 4 I think it needs to be for sure.

Speaker 1 It doesn't sound super bad when you think of it that way, because I think you just reframe it around really what your hopes and your dreams are versus what the scary death destruction outcome could be because it's not really about that no i don't think it is it's like you said you have health insurance you have car insurance and you have a prenup anyway with the state the state decides oh right and you don't want the state to decide you can if you want to but ultimately california gives you a prenup whether you want it or not.

Speaker 1 Do they? I mean, it dictates the terms

Speaker 1 of a community property state, or if you lived somewhere else, it would dictate any terms.

Speaker 1 And so it's, I think it's nice to just be able to take control back from the state and say, okay, whatever, this is how I want it.

Speaker 1 There have been some interesting guests that we've had who've put some crazy clauses in their prenups too. Oh, really? Yeah.
Like what? Tell me.

Speaker 1 Rebecca Minkoff came on the show, the fashion designer, and she said that she put a floozy clause in her prenup so that if she dies and her husband remarries then the new woman doesn't get any of the money it's a fluzy

Speaker 1 that's amazing okay yeah some people have been rumored to have date night clauses in their prenups not a lot of this is able to be upheld and i am no lawyer for sure.

Speaker 1 We had Laura Walser on, who's an amazing divorce attorney, who's talked through some of these crazy clauses, but it's almost like agreements between couples. Like we have to go on date night.

Speaker 1 If we don't go on date night every two weeks, then this is null and void. A lot of it is not enforceable.
Date night clauses.

Speaker 4 Who to thunk?

Speaker 1 I love that for people. So I'm clearly pregnant.
Yeah, you are. It's amazing.
Look at you. Zane is two now, right?

Speaker 4 Zane is two and four months now. Yeah.
That's crazy.

Speaker 1 And so, what do you think I should be thinking about? What advice would you have?

Speaker 4 That it is the greatest,

Speaker 4 best, most enjoyable, beautiful, and also the most excruciating period of your life. It will change you to your core in ways you could never possibly imagine.

Speaker 4 Suddenly, that little one's going to come out of you and you've unlocked a whole world of information that you didn't know you knew. It's like a whole other part of you opens up that always existed.

Speaker 4 It was just waiting like a video game for the next level unlocked and there you are. And trust your instincts.
Because of all of that, trust your instincts.

Speaker 4 Even the parent, the mothers-in-laws and the whoever that comes around, you know that baby. On a cellular level, you are connected.
You just know.

Speaker 4 Even as a new mom where you feel like you are just fumbling the ball all the time and you don't know what's going on, you know. And usually that first instinct that you have is it.
Act on it.

Speaker 4 Just trust yourself because you're born for it. And you created that little life and you know better than anyone what it needs.

Speaker 1 Thanks, Sharona.

Speaker 1 It sounds like you could want to go through this again.

Speaker 4 Oh, I do totally want to go through this again.

Speaker 4 This year is crazy, but I'm going to put out there, we've talked about it, that hopefully maybe the end of next year, we're looking at getting pregnant because I'll also be 40.

Speaker 4 And even though my eggs are fine and whatever, medicine's wonderful, but it's still, I want to be as young as I possibly can be.

Speaker 4 So I'm hoping somewhere near the end of next year, we're looking at getting pregnant.

Speaker 4 And that's also why the wedding's on on hold too because I don't want to be pregnant and I don't really want to be in the first probably six to nine months postpartum because my body is still stitching itself back together and hormonally I'm still still trying to find my balance so the wedding is probably about two years away but hopefully there's an another little one have you guys thought about any financial planning for Zane or like custodial Roth IRA or 529 or any of those types of plans?

Speaker 4 We've started talking about that stuff, but no, we haven't put anything into action. We also want to pay our own kids.

Speaker 4 Like the most recent one I said to Brio, I was like, we absolutely need to make them a part of our companies because then we can go on family vacations and call them retreats.

Speaker 4 Like all these bits of information you get to learn now on Instagram. It's amazing.
But we haven't done that yet.

Speaker 4 And I think there is that, what is it, up to $12,000 a year you can pay each kid that becomes tax-free.

Speaker 4 Right. Am I on the right track?

Speaker 1 You can contribute to custodial Roth area up to $7,000, which would be the retirement account for them that could grow every time they retire. I wish we had one for when we were kids.

Speaker 4 I know.

Speaker 1 That would be amazing. But yeah, Beyonce, I think, and Jay-Z put Blue Ivy, they sampled her cry, I think.
I know. There's nothing on one of the tracks.

Speaker 1 And Drake used his kids' artwork or something like that.

Speaker 1 And so there are a lot of, for you guys, especially, there's a ton of ways that you can use your work to pay them

Speaker 1 out of your business. And then from there, like the custodial Roth IRA part, you have to, they have to be making their own money to contribute.

Speaker 1 So of the 12,000 or whatever you give them, 7,000 can go right into that account. And what's cool about the Roth part is that it comes out tax-free.

Speaker 4 That's amazing. Yeah.
We've talked about all of that. We honestly just have not made time to sit with both Laurie and us together.

Speaker 1 I'm coming to you. I think

Speaker 1 we sit with you.

Speaker 1 Just come hang. You know what I mean?

Speaker 4 We have the best house.

Speaker 4 Your little one will love it. Yeah, come hang and we'll set these things up.

Speaker 1 You guys are all points, right?

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 We need some estrogen up in the lake.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 We need some girl power for sure, which is also what I would be hoping for this next time around.

Speaker 4 Honestly, I think we'll do gender selection and do IVF because he's five for five on boys. And he's really

Speaker 4 who's going to take a chance on that?

Speaker 1 They're not diversified. You know what I mean? There's a big portfolio.

Speaker 4 I even, I don't know how much you believe in this stuff i spoke to a psychic medium and it was the most amazing reading that i had she's very legit some i've had i'm like meh yeah but she was very legit and i asked her about a second biological baby and she's like yeah i said girl she said there's a girl there but there are boys as in plural boys.

Speaker 4 She said, so if you want the girl, you're going to need to go and get her. And I was like, that is what I thought.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He just makes boys. He just comes from the guy.

Speaker 4 He's like the starting line of a football team.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? It's crazy. When you guys found out it was a boy, were you?

Speaker 4 Not surprised. But there was, we did not have gender disappointment at all because I was just so excited to be pregnant and bring a little life into this world.

Speaker 4 But we were going to, do we do a reveal party, a gender reveal? And I was like, why?

Speaker 1 I know. I'm not at the betting market.

Speaker 1 We know what this is.

Speaker 4 So we just got the email sent and we opened it up near the Christmas tree in our home. And as soon as we opened it up, we were like, Yeah, cool.

Speaker 4 Just went on with that day.

Speaker 4 Yeah, but I mean, he's the most perfect little boy in the world, and Brian has made some very beautiful kids. I would be super excited to see what a little girl would come out like.
So sweet.

Speaker 1 Um, before we let you go, um, I'd love to.

Speaker 4 How is it almost over?

Speaker 1 This is too fun.

Speaker 1 Stay here, friend. No,

Speaker 1 we have a financial theme round of never have I ever.

Speaker 4 Oh, God. I'll fail all of these.

Speaker 1 You're not. Here we go.
You're already winning. Let's go.
I'm already winning.

Speaker 1 So, have you played the drinking game? Never have I ever. Yes.
Okay. I'm not drinking right now.
But so put up five fingers. And then if you have done something, put a finger down.
Okay. Ready? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Never have I ever split the check on a first date. No.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Never have I ever maxed out a credit card.

Speaker 4 As in can't pay it or just used all the limit?

Speaker 1 Used all the limit.

Speaker 4 No, yeah, I am

Speaker 1 been in credit card debt.

Speaker 4 For what period of time? Are you talking couldn't pay it off all that month or we're talking like

Speaker 1 more than one month?

Speaker 4 Oh, no. I like.
Yeah, I've been in credit card debt for sure.

Speaker 1 Never have I ever been fired from job.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I've been fired.

Speaker 4 from a job for sure. I mean, I would consider not being called back for dancing with the stars being fired from a job.

Speaker 4 but yeah because they don't bring you back even though it's all love we're fine there's no drama there but certainly when i was hosting the whole thing hosting no i'm judging the one in australia not fired from that still doing that but as a pro dancer here but i when i was living in london did like temp office work i am not built for this and i would like fall asleep

Speaker 4 because i'm used to being active and moving around and i didn't keep those jobs for very long so i was fired danced around the office yeah i should have never have i ever fallen for a scam oh i actually have no i haven't i've fallen ish and then caught it before i actually fell for it nice never have i ever invested in the stock market i have not i know i know oh that's a fail on my part and i'm i don't know i'm scared of it maybe we should hang we're gonna hang we need to hang and you can help me with that because i've really wanted to and lauri's amazing but she's not necessarily she has investment people at the firm but i'd rather sit with you and do it i got you never have I ever had buyer's remorse.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, I've had buyers' remorse. Like a lot.
I put all my fingers down. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 You're done.

Speaker 1 Never have I ever negotiated a contract.

Speaker 1 Have you negotiated for yourself?

Speaker 4 No, not solely on my own, but I've certainly been the one calling things out and making choices. But I've always had a lawyer negotiate for me.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.
Never have I ever hired a business manager/slash matchmaker.

Speaker 1 Yay. Yay!

Speaker 1 Yay!

Speaker 1 Shorna, we end all of our episodes, as you know, with a tip that listeners can take straight to the bank. Something in your newfound money rehab era.
What have you learned?

Speaker 1 That's a tip that other people can learn from you, whether it's about investing, saving, raising financially, literate, responsible, kiddos, anything.

Speaker 4 It's your advice, though.

Speaker 1 But I love that.

Speaker 4 It's not what you make, it's what you keep.

Speaker 4 And then the other one is from my own life lessons:

Speaker 4 you have no idea how much convenience costs

Speaker 4 and

Speaker 4 add up all the little things and just see and you'll be surprised and there's so much more you can cut out than you think have you done that recently have you gone through subscriptions and where are your little subscriptions yes i recent or recently within like the last 12 months did that and realized that because we're also now merged we had two hulu accounts and two disney and then a family bundle over here it's like we have like three different signups to so many stupid money being spent.

Speaker 4 But also knowing the things I spend convenience on, like I do and being like, I'm going to just not do that for a while.

Speaker 4 But I've often gone through my credit cards and been like, yeah, I was not paying attention that month because just looking at it, like, why is it so high?

Speaker 4 Even grocery stores, the food that ends up going to waste because I think I'm going to cook it and then I don't cook it. Like that is a waste of money.
Buy it when we need it type of thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, I had to do a consolidation of the Netflix accounts and

Speaker 1 stuff with my husband.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you must.

Speaker 1 For today's tip, you can take straight to the bank. If you want to go the yours, mine, and ours account route, you can set all of those accounts up at Bank of America.

Speaker 1 If you need help with any of this stuff, you can schedule an appointment at your local branch.

Speaker 1 You can even turn it into a date night because making smart money decisions together is an investment in your relationship. And honestly, what is more romantic than that?

Speaker 1 And if you're single, well, I can't promise that your banker will play matchmaker like what happened with Sharna and Brian. But I'll also never say never.

Speaker 3 Bank of America is the one-stop shop where you can get guidance, tools, solutions, and view your Bank of America banking and manager Merrill investing accounts online in one place.

Speaker 3 To learn more, go to bfa.com/slash financial next steps.

Speaker 3 Brokerage services are provided by Merrill Lynch, Pierce, Fenner, and Smith Incorporated, a registered broker dealer, registered investment advisor, member SIPIC, and wholly owned subsidiary of Bank of America Corporation, member FTIC.

Speaker 3 The views and advice expressed by Money News Network are independent and not endorsed by Bank of America Corp. Investing involves risk, opinions are subject to change.

Speaker 3 This is not meant to recommend any product or service, and listeners should consult their personal professionals. Merrill does not provide tax or estate planning advice.

Speaker 1 Money Rehab is a production of Money News Network. I'm your host, Nicole Lappin.
Money Rehab's executive producer is Morgan Lavoie. Our researcher is Emily Holmes.
Do you need some Money Rehab?

Speaker 1 And let's be honest, we all do.

Speaker 1 So email us your money questions, moneyrehab at moneynewsnetwork.com, to potentially have your questions answered on the show or even have a one-on-one intervention with me.

Speaker 1 And follow us on Instagram at MoneyNews and TikTok at Money News Network for exclusive video content. And lastly, thank you.
No, seriously, thank you.

Speaker 1 Thank you for listening and for investing in yourself, which is the most important investment you can make.