Winning in Real Estate with Kelly Killoren Bensimon

Speaker 1 Here's one piece of advice that I've given for years: build an emergency fund. Aim to stash away enough to cover at least three months of expenses in case your income suddenly drops.

Speaker 1 Sounds simple, right? But let's be honest, it's not. Saving even one month's worth of living costs can feel impossible.

Speaker 1 Just when you're making progress, that check engine light blinks on and derails your plans. Life already throws enough curveballs.
You don't need your bank adding to the chaos.

Speaker 1 That's why it's so important to choose one that makes makes savings easy and doesn't nibble away at your hard-earned money with ridiculous fees. Chime understands that every dollar counts.

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Speaker 1 With qualifying direct deposits, you're eligible for free overdraft up to $200 on debit card purchases and cash withdrawals. To date, QIIME has spotted members over $30 billion.

Speaker 1 Work on your financial goals through Chime today. Open an account in just two minutes at chime.com/slash MNN.
That's chime.com/slash MNN. Chime feels like progress.

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Speaker 3 I live in LA now, but lately I have been craving the seasons. Snow, hot cocoa, the whole thing.

Speaker 3 I don't even ski, but I have been daydreaming about working remotely from somewhere really cozy on the East Coast, like a cute little ski town for a little bit.

Speaker 3 And whenever I know I'm going to be gone for a while, I always remind myself that my home can actually be working for me while I'm away because I host my space on Airbnb.

Speaker 3 It is one of the easiest ways to earn passive income from something you already have, and that extra income feels particularly helpful this time of year as we approach the holidays.

Speaker 3 A lot of my friends say that sounds amazing, but where do you find the time to manage guests and bookings? And that's when I tell them about Airbnb's co-host network.

Speaker 3 Through Airbnb, you can find a local co-host who can help you set up your listing, handle reservations, communicate with guests, provide on-site support, even help with design and styling.

Speaker 3 I like to give a personal touch when I'm hosting on Airbnb. So I make a list of my favorite restaurants in the area and I hand write a note welcoming my guests to the property.

Speaker 3 My guests love it, but I also know that some of those little personal touches can take a lot of extra time. So this is the exact kind of thing that you would want your co-host to help you with.

Speaker 3 Whether you're traveling for work or chasing the snow or escaping it, or you've got a second place that just sits there empty more often than you'd like, your home doesn't have to just sit there.

Speaker 3 You can make extra money from it without taking on extra work. Find a co-host at Airbnb.com/slash host.

Speaker 1 Here's one piece of advice that I've given for years. Build an emergency fund.
Aim to stash away enough to cover at least three months of expenses in case your income suddenly drops.

Speaker 1 Sounds simple, right? But let's be honest, it's not. Saving even one month's worth of living costs can feel impossible.

Speaker 1 Just when you're making progress, that check engine light blinks on and derails your plans. Life already throws enough curveballs.
You don't need your bank adding to the chaos.

Speaker 1 That's why it's so important to choose one that makes savings easy and doesn't nibble away at your hard-earned money with ridiculous fees. QIIME understands that every dollar counts.

Speaker 1 That's why when you set up direct deposit through QIIME, you get access to fee-free features like free overdraft coverage, getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit, and more.

Speaker 1 With qualifying direct deposits, you're eligible for free overdraft up to $200 on debit card purchases and cash withdrawals. To date, QIIME has spotted members over $30 billion.

Speaker 1 Work on your financial goals through QIIME today. Open an account in just two minutes at chime.com slash MNN.
That's chime.com slash MNN. Chime feels like progress.

Speaker 2 Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bankor Bank NA or Stripe Bank NA.
Members, FDIC.

Speaker 2 Spot me eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Timing depends on submission of payment file.

Speaker 2 Fees apply at out-of-network ATMs, bank ranking, and number of ATMs, according to US News and World Report 2023. Chime checking account required.

Speaker 4 Happy New Year's Eve, Money Rehavers. It's Morgan, the EP of the show.

Speaker 4 As we look back on the year, one of the biggest questions that came up again and again was all about how to make the most of the cuckoo crazy housing market.

Speaker 4 So today we wanted to re-air an episode with one of our favorite real estate experts, Kelly Bensimone, who also was a Real Housewives of New York cast member.

Speaker 4 Today she shares all about the do's and don'ts of navigating the real estate market, whether you're looking at an investment property or trying to beat out competitors with a great application.

Speaker 4 You're also going to hear a bonus story in the middle of the episode from me about how I make a little extra income through real estate. So, don't miss that part.

Speaker 4 Again, it's around the middle of the episode. Here's Nicole and Kelly.

Speaker 5 I'm financial expert Nicole Lappin. It's time for some money rehab.

Speaker 5 Today I'm chatting with Kelly Bensimone. To Roney fans, Kelly is an icon from the two seasons she spent on the show over a decade ago.

Speaker 5 Now she's a successful real estate agent who closed nine figures of sales in 2021 alone. Of course, with real estate being such a hot topic, I wanted to get all of her inside expertise.

Speaker 5 But there's another money trail I also wanted to follow, the money trail of the real housewives. Full disclosure, I've never actually seen an episode of The Housewives.

Speaker 5 I know I'm probably the only person on the planet, but somehow I am still hooked.

Speaker 5 Despite not watching the show, I see all of these headlines about cast members who have gone bankrupt or are embroiled in some kind of financial scandal. And my question is, why?

Speaker 5 Why are there so many housewife stars with financial skeletons in their closet? Seems to be a story there. And I wanted to find out.

Speaker 5 Kelly Ben Simone, welcome to Money Rehab.

Speaker 6 Thank you. I love that Money Rehab.
That's such a great title.

Speaker 5 Thank you. I think we're going to keep it.
How did you start in real estate?

Speaker 6 So,

Speaker 6 I actually stumbled upon real estate. Unfortunately, my mom fell ill and wanted me to help sell our family properties.

Speaker 6 And my father's older, so I oversaw that, quickly got my license, and wasn't really thinking that, you know, this is like just when million dollar listing had gone on and I was, you know, just finished, I just retired from housewives, getting my MBA.

Speaker 6 And I was just like, and I just was kind of stumbled into this because I had to do it. And so out of something that's so traumatic came something like so incredible.

Speaker 6 Like, who would have known that, you know, she's asking me to do something to like preserve our family and all of a sudden I'm pulling in 110 million on my own.

Speaker 5 I was just about to ask that.

Speaker 5 I was just, I was waiting to like throw down that number because you were like, I just stumbled into this little thing. Casual $110 million in sales later.

Speaker 6 Last year. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Just last year. In one year.
One year.

Speaker 6 Started with the number one deal of 2021. So we're in COVID.

Speaker 6 No one's in New York City. And I sold 150 Charles, front house of 150 Charles for $42 million, all cash.

Speaker 5 Nicely done.

Speaker 6 It was, yeah, that was really nicely done, actually.

Speaker 6 And it was so, a friend of mine happened to be looking for a $30 million million dollar apartment for his son does that guy want to adopt another child someone who wants to buy a 30 million dollar apartment who who is that kind of person i mean they're just new york investors i mean i think a lot of these new york a lot of new york guys knew what was going to happen they they forecasted that there was going to be something happening they were just they just bought everything up because it was on the down so bilow so high and so when bilow so high that's your business that's right but it works in real estate too you just it's really hard to time the market it's hard to figure out the trends of real estate It's so city specific.

Speaker 5 What do you think is going on with the real estate market now? If you could give us a pulse check.

Speaker 6 Well, so, you know, stock markets, your business, real estate markets, my business. But, you know, we had, you know, 14 contracts over 4 million last week.
And four of those were over 20 million.

Speaker 6 So, and it was Thanksgiving. So, you know, that's really interesting.
I mean, there's a lot of big cash buyers out there.

Speaker 6 So when people ask me about my business, they're like, well, you know, people aren't selling anything. You know, I don't want to sell.
I'm like, well, you can sell. It's like any market.

Speaker 6 If the person wants what you have, they're going to pay the price for it. So it doesn't matter what the state of the stock market is.
You know, it's like people want what they can't have.

Speaker 6 And the good news about my business is I have a lot of great properties that most people can't have.

Speaker 5 Well, it sounds like it's really a relationship business.

Speaker 6 Completely. Completely.
But this isn't something that I just fell into. People are like, oh, she's got her license and all of a sudden she's earning 42 million.
This is not how that works.

Speaker 6 I mean, I went to Columbia. I have an MBA.
You know, I had great mentors along the way. I started L Accessories.
I had Gotham Magazine. Like I'm really, I'm used to working with, you know, investors.

Speaker 6 I'm used to working with advertisers. I'm used to like, you know, I think one reason that real estate really resonates with my clients is because I know everything about lifestyle.

Speaker 6 I started a magazine based on lifestyle. So it's like I already put the work in.
And so I can kind of sit back and say, okay, this is the strategic opportunity for this apartment.

Speaker 6 This apartments need staging. This apartment needs press.
This apartment needs, you know, a party. This apart, you know, whatever it is, you know, everything needs a little love in some kind of way.

Speaker 6 And, you know, you just can't like, you know, they always say, like, put lipstick on a pig. Like, we don't do that.
I like make it movie magic.

Speaker 5 I did bid on a place in LA and I lost it. So I need help.
We've seen these crazy bidding wars. Right.
It was like, you know, when interest rates were nothing,

Speaker 5 lines around the block for open houses, like they were giving something away. I mean, that's.

Speaker 6 For rentals and for sales.

Speaker 5 Yes.

Speaker 5 And that's kind of changed as interest rates have gone up. But what would your advice be for winning a bidding war?

Speaker 6 To have your financials in order. Just be ready to go.
Because, you know, for example, my, you know, my daughter is looking at an apartment and they were like, okay, it hasn't even finished yet.

Speaker 6 It's like they literally, the apartment is in construction. And they're like, okay, you need to zeal the money, you know, first month's rent, earnest deposit, all this money, like zelle it.

Speaker 6 No checks, zell, like right away. So you have to be really ready to go.
You can't be like, oh, wait, hold on a minute.

Speaker 6 Let me just get myself together because there is that person that has their money ready to go.

Speaker 5 And that's when you lose something. I mean, I don't hate renting.
I talk about this a lot too, because if you are taking out a jumbo mortgage and you're paying money every month,

Speaker 5 most of that's going to interest in the beginning. Right.
Right. And that's money you're not getting back.
So when people say you're throwing money away by renting, you don't get that interest back.

Speaker 5 You don't get a bunch of other stuff back. You don't get closing costs back.
Right. And so do you think we should bring sexy back to renting?

Speaker 6 I mean, there are so many. I mean, the rental market in New York is just insane right now.
And,

Speaker 6 you know, I think there's a lot of fear associated with buying properties because there's fear with the unknown.

Speaker 6 And it's not like, you know, because of the volatility of the stock market, people are like, okay, that's a forecasting of what's going to happen in the real estate market.

Speaker 6 But again, like, you know, you know, I live in this beautiful building. I just sold, it's approximately, because it's a co-op.
So it's approximately 1,800 square feet, one apartment for 2.9 million.

Speaker 6 And then I sold another one a couple of months later for 4.1.

Speaker 6 So I basically raised the price of the building. Obviously, the other apartment was a different apartment with a different narrative.
But do you see what I'm saying?

Speaker 6 Like you can really make really good money or you can, you know, if you're, if you're living in a great home, like for example, like I represent this insane home on the upper west side, 26 West 87th Street where Billie Holiday, she lived.

Speaker 6 And it's this phenomenal townhouse. It's been completely renovated for 13.7.

Speaker 6 And, you know, that's a place like if you bought that home, I mean, you could really later on do whatever you want and really make a lot of money. So it just depends.

Speaker 5 If you're not paying a lot of mortgage, because you can, if you take that big lump sum, like if somebody saved up $200,000 to buy a million-dollar place, but they only have 200 grand and they put all that money into their house, they're kind of house poor and then they can't use that money to put in the market.

Speaker 5 and make more money potentially. So that opportunity cost of the big lump sum sometimes doesn't make sense for people.

Speaker 6 Well, we have like different buckets. So we've got the Midwestern bucket where they're putting money into under their under their mattresses.

Speaker 6 And then we have the real estate bucket and then we have the stock market bucket. So we have like different people trying to figure out their finances in different kinds of ways.

Speaker 6 And it's just kind of, it's just really like, what works for you? Some people are just like, I'm just going to put that cash under my mattress.

Speaker 6 Which we don't recommend.

Speaker 6 But some people are just like, I'm just going to save it for a rainy day because cash is king. So

Speaker 6 queen, queen, king and queen.

Speaker 6 So you may not recommend it, but at the end of the day, sometimes it's good because, you know, if during COVID, when you had a lot of cash, you could really buy anything you wanted.

Speaker 6 So just, it's, there's just three different kinds of buckets and it's just really what you want to do and how you want to do it.

Speaker 6 At the end of the day, whether it's real estate stock markets or your mattress, you know, the most important, the number one priority for me in anything that I do with anyone is I tell them like your family, they're your legacy.

Speaker 6 So you need to give them shelter. I like it.
Like that's crucial.

Speaker 6 And, you know, food, water, and shelter, those are the things that people need.

Speaker 5 Everybody needs shelter from the storm. Can we talk about a type of storm? The storm that is the housewives.
I think there are a lot of people listening who will know you from the housewives.

Speaker 5 Do you think there's anything that you learned doing that show that helps you with real estate?

Speaker 6 I mean, I am so grateful for housewives and for Bravo because they gave me this massive.

Speaker 6 They basically took my name that was like a small name in New York City and like blew me out of the water.

Speaker 5 So looking back, this is not something you regret doing. You're happy about being on the show.
No. It paid dividends.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 Many, many.

Speaker 6 I mean, I think that like whenever I ever asked me about the regrets, like the only regret that I ever had was not showing like my real life because it wasn't fair to the to single women to not show them like how I was making money on my own.

Speaker 6 Like they just thought that I was running around, you know, cartwheels, like, you know, like chewing gum, having fun, which is something that I do all the time.

Speaker 6 But I also know how how to make money and provide for my family and they didn't show enough of that you don't think well it was yeah they didn't want to because they were like she's a supermodel and you know you have to remember too like back when I was on television in the ice age it was like 2009 you know being a single parent was definitely not sexy that was like almost taboo being able to provide for your family was like an anomaly and you know just talking about being single was something that's like, oh, you're not with a man.

Speaker 6 It's like you don't have, you're not a unit.

Speaker 6 You're not complete. You're not like a traditional family.
So there were all of these interesting layers of things that were, that people didn't want to necessarily hear about.

Speaker 6 And now people are like, how did you do it?

Speaker 5 How did you do it?

Speaker 6 I'm like, I don't know.

Speaker 5 You asked my kids.

Speaker 6 They did it. I didn't do it.
I just like pushed them.

Speaker 5 So we heard rumors that Bravo wants you to come back for Housewives of New York Legends show. Are you going to do that?

Speaker 6 I mean, you know, I'm definitely thinking about it. You know, it's like I love the brand and I love the women.
So

Speaker 6 I'm just, I'm definitely thinking about it.

Speaker 5 Soon, but leaning more toward yes?

Speaker 6 We'll see.

Speaker 5 Sounds like yes.

Speaker 6 We'll see what happens. I never, you know, you never say never, but, you know, everything has to, everything has to align.

Speaker 5 Hold on to your wallets. Money rehab will be right back.

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Speaker 4 Hey guys, it's Morgan, the EP of the show. And as you're loving all of these great real estate stories with Kelly Benzemone, I have another tip for you.

Speaker 4 Hosting on Airbnb is an amazing way to make your real estate work even harder for you. I love hosting on Airbnb.

Speaker 4 Because I work remotely, I'm lucky enough to get to spend summers back where I'm from in Maine. So when I'm away for the summer, I host my apartment on Airbnb and it's been such a great side hustle.

Speaker 4 So yes, I am a proud Airbnb host. But what I'm even prouder of is the fact that I got my best friend's mom, Lori, to be an Airbnb host too.

Speaker 4 Lori lives in New England and is retired, and she and her husband go off on all these really cool backpacking trips for weeks at a time. And when they're gone, their house just sits empty.

Speaker 4 I told Lori that hosting on Airbnb is just a no-brainer for her. Her house could be collecting checks for her instead of just collecting dust.

Speaker 4 But also, because she's retired, she's just not making the big bucks anymore. And through hosting on Airbnb, she could have some income coming in.

Speaker 4 That income can help her feel even better about her retirement nest egg but also can contribute to a slush fund for those phenomenal trips she takes with her husband.

Speaker 4 But the idea of having to make the house spotless and coordinate with guests while she's also getting ready for a big trip felt like just too much for Lori.

Speaker 4 But Airbnb's co-hosting feature changed the game. Airbnb's co-host network is a network of high quality local co-hosts with Airbnb experience that can take care of your home and guests for you.

Speaker 4 Co-hosts can do what you don't have time for or just don't want to do, like managing reservations, messaging guests, giving support at the property, or can even create your listing for you.

Speaker 4 When I told Lori about this, she finally signed up and she has her first guest lined up for the summer, thanks to her co-host. Find a co-host for you or for your friend's mom at airbnb.com/slash host.

Speaker 4 That's airbnb.com/slash host.

Speaker 5 And now for some more money money rehab. It sounds like it.
I mean, Bethany has said that there's always a number to go back to the housewives. Right.
Do you have a number?

Speaker 6 Well, it's work at the end of the day. So there's always a number for everything.

Speaker 5 I agree.

Speaker 5 It's not a charity.

Speaker 5 Okay. So what would you like a ballpark?

Speaker 5 I don't know.

Speaker 5 Really?

Speaker 5 Okay. So I'm going to give you $50 million.
Would you go back to the housewives?

Speaker 6 $50 million? I'd probably go back to the housewives.

Speaker 5 $10 million.

Speaker 5 We're doing an auction. why is it 50 to 10 that's terrible like like

Speaker 6 it's usually like 50 to like 47

Speaker 5 or like we're not buying a house here sister

Speaker 5 i mean i'm just trying to find the ball back

Speaker 6 i'm just trying to find the range like everyone's always what neighborhood are we in no but everyone's like when that when they ask me i'm like oh no no i don't really like that number they're like why i'm like what do you mean like four nine seven five they're like

Speaker 5 what but it sounds like the salary isn't really where you're making the money but you get paid by episode It depends on your deal. So there's not a standard thing.

Speaker 6 Everybody gets. Yeah.
I mean, yeah. I don't.
I mean, I don't really know what other people are getting. I don't really like a lot of housewives, they like try to commiserate.

Speaker 6 I'm like, no, no, I'm like, I'm good.

Speaker 5 You don't like talking about it? I like financial transparency.

Speaker 6 I do too, but I think that you have to be careful, especially on a show like that.

Speaker 6 It's different like when you're working together, but when you're like on a show that's being filmed under like a microscope on HGTV, I think it's different when you're talking because there's that constant, like the

Speaker 6 level of competition just gets really, really

Speaker 6 high because of like how much the person's getting paid versus like what's at stake emotionally. Do you know what I mean? Got it.

Speaker 5 I'm sure Bravo doesn't want.

Speaker 6 everybody talking about it because there'll probably be like some collective bargaining agreement where everybody goes up and tries to again like you don't want to be like you don't want to have i mean you wouldn't want to be on a show you wouldn't want to produce a show where you have like four people already arguing about knowing how much the other person is making.

Speaker 5 I mean, there's a balance, right? Because I think, especially for women negotiating, in order, this will be a real estate analogy for you.

Speaker 5 In order to price your house, you need to know the comp of the area.

Speaker 6 Obviously.

Speaker 5 Okay. So the same thing works for like.
salaries, right? If you don't know the comp, like, how are you pricing yourself? You're shooting in the dark. Right.

Speaker 6 That's a good point.

Speaker 6 But I think that when you're seeing people that are getting like a million versus like other people that are getting like 10,000, I think that that such a, like, it doesn't sell a level playing field.

Speaker 6 And so then people get like at the onset, like ferocious.

Speaker 6 And they don't want that. They want people to be genuine and they want people, they want to like, it's HGTV.
You want to see like authentic moments.

Speaker 5 Yeah, although I would argue with housewives, there's been so much financial turmoil for so many of these women that maybe talking about it would be helpful.

Speaker 5 Because the number of bankruptcies, the number of financial scandals.

Speaker 6 Well, I mean, if we talked, if you're talking about actual finance, if if you're saying to like so-and-so, like if you went on and were like, hi, this is what you need to do, or if someone was in a situation with bankruptcy, if you were there to be like, well, I can help you navigate that, I think that's different than like trying to get people to, on the onset, to be like, you're making 10,000, I'm making a million, like I'm better than you are, you know, kind of thing.

Speaker 5 Should I bust into the house?

Speaker 6 Because you don't know what's going to, you don't know like who's going to be the breakout star.

Speaker 6 Like you don't know, just because you're making X amount of dollars doesn't doesn't mean that you're not going to be that, that you're going to be the breakout star versus the other one.

Speaker 6 You don't know that. It depends on like the narrative.
It depends on like what they're doing.

Speaker 5 You know? So I'll be honest, I haven't watched any Housewives franchise at all. I've got it.
I would love, which one should I be on? There's a Potomac. That's not a joke.

Speaker 6 There's Dubai.

Speaker 5 There's Potomac.

Speaker 5 They're all over.

Speaker 6 There's Miami. I'm coming on.

Speaker 5 I'm going to help these women. There's Beverly Hill.

Speaker 5 They can tell me. We don't have to put it on.
They can tell me how much they're making. I can look at the the books because it seems like there's always a headline about a financial scandal on

Speaker 5 the housewives. There's Jen Shaw.
There's Erica Jane. Teresa.
I don't know how to say her last name. Shoot.
She dice. Why do you think so many housewives get into financial trouble?

Speaker 6 Because I think they live above their means. I think they get excited.
And I think that they forget why the fans want to hear from them. They want to hear their story.

Speaker 6 And then all of a sudden they're like, I'm wearing Louis Vuitton. I'm in our our G-Wagon, you know, like I'm killing it.
Look at me, I'm famous.

Speaker 6 And then all of a sudden, you know, the cameras stop rolling. It's like in any business, it's like an entertainment business, like music, modeling, acting.
You see all these people like doing so well.

Speaker 6 And then all of a sudden, they stop doing well. And the money stops going, you know, coming in.
And all of a sudden, it's like,

Speaker 6 you know, then life gets real. So I think you'd be great.

Speaker 5 I think they would be, they would, you know, I think it'd be great to just have you just like in general, just like telling women like you know how to take care of themselves and i'm in sign me up because it's not even living within your means it's living below your means which is not fun and sexy but it builds long-term wealth just saying right um with erica jane she's been having all this trouble with her husband ex-husband uh it came out that she didn't have a prenup or something like that.

Speaker 5 What do you think about prenups?

Speaker 6 It depends on the situation.

Speaker 6 You know, I think that some situations you should have a prenup. I mean, I didn't have a prenup with my ex-husband.

Speaker 5 Was that a mistake? No.

Speaker 5 No.

Speaker 6 Because, I mean, I had money coming in. He had money coming in.
And, you know, I just genuinely wanted to, you know, move forward. And, you know, money wasn't the impetus.

Speaker 6 Like, I didn't marry him for money and I wasn't divorcing him for money. I was divorcing him for freedom and to raise my kids and to give them the greatest life ever.

Speaker 6 And I just didn't feel like, you know, being with him was doing that. So I don't necessarily, I don't think of it like that.
Like some women are like, oh my God, money,

Speaker 6 which is great.

Speaker 5 Or you could flip the script, right? And say, like, this is an empowering thing. I'm a woman.
I make my own money. Like, I need to protect my own stuff.
Right. By the way.

Speaker 6 Well, there's, there's two sides of it. I mean, I definitely raised my kids with good values and a sense of self.
And they've always worked.

Speaker 6 And, you know, my daughter's worked through college and they've, you know, done everything from like babysat to what, you know, like bartending, waitressing, like they've done it all.

Speaker 6 Personally, I don't know. I mean, it's like, I don't judge people, but I don't marry for the ring.

Speaker 6 Like I, you know, marry because he's, you know, I married my ex-husband because I thought he was amazing human.

Speaker 6 I was, if I thought that was marrying for the ring, like I would have gotten a bigger ring.

Speaker 5 I think some people think of it that,

Speaker 5 but, you know, you, you're, if you get divorced or if something happens, it's like having insurance. You don't want the state to decide.
You just want to be in control of what happens.

Speaker 5 You can throw it in the fire or whatever. So would you get married again?

Speaker 6 Definitely. Yeah.
I mean, if we're talking about like your inheritance, like your family's inheritance or something like that, like I don't think that that's fair for, you know, for an ex to get that.

Speaker 6 That's not fair. But when you bring something to a relationship and you are in the relationship and you're, you're going in under contract, you know, it's a transaction at the end of the day.

Speaker 6 It's a legal contract. I'm going to marry you and this is what we're going to do.
And here's the terms of the contract. I mean, that's what it is.

Speaker 6 So if you don't like the terms of the contract, you probably shouldn't have gotten involved in the first place.

Speaker 5 So you're out dating? Yes. How's that going? It's going well.
Are you on the apps? No.

Speaker 6 I have a boyfriend. I have a really serious boyfriend.

Speaker 5 Congratulations. Thank you.
When you were dating, did men feel intimidated by you, do you think?

Speaker 6 No. By your network? No, they're always trying to like take care of me.
Men are always like, oh, let me take care of you. Like, they made me feel very insecure.

Speaker 5 Very insecure. Because you want to take care of yourself.

Speaker 6 Right. Because it's like, you know, here I have these two girls.
And what am I going to do? Just be like, oh, okay. Like, let me just, you know, hop into your arms with two guys.

Speaker 5 Like, ready?

Speaker 5 Here we come.

Speaker 6 You know, I felt a big responsibility. And people, you know,

Speaker 6 guys that I were dating were very, very

Speaker 6 assertive about, you know, taking care of me. Made me very insecure.
Not to say that

Speaker 6 I don't appreciate it, but I felt like kind of like it was like, okay, this is the amount of money you're going to get every month. And I was like, what?

Speaker 5 Wow. Or you didn't want to show that kind of paradigm to your kids too?

Speaker 6 Right. I just didn't, I mean, the whole thing just really, I didn't, like, didn't agree with me.
So with your, with your man. But some people really like that.
Like, some people are like, great.

Speaker 6 Like, at least I know what I'm getting. Like, you know, I mean, again, like, we're talking, you know, honestly, like, some women just really like that.

Speaker 6 I just, that was just never like I wasn't raised like that I'm my if I told my father by the way I'm marrying this guy and he's gonna give me X amount of dollars per month my daughter my father would be like I you know spent all this money on this great education for you to think like you went to Columbia to he would not be happy no he passed and he would not be happy he would want me to like have a partner and to build he would want another yeah he would want me to build I don't I think that there's there has to like you know women have to be able to be doing something that really like ignites them and makes them feel whole so that the relationship where what started off is this, you know, it ignited for a reason.

Speaker 6 And then all of a sudden, you know, you go into this transaction, you sign this piece of paper, this, you know, stone goes on your finger, and all of a sudden the dynamics change, you know, and I think that people get lost.

Speaker 6 And I think it's not about the money. I think it's about they just get personally just and emotionally lost.
I mean,

Speaker 6 I know we were talking about money for you, but I mean, I think of it in more in like an emotional way where, you know, I have a lot of empathy for both women and men who are getting, you know, get lost in relationships.

Speaker 6 And I don't want someone to be in a relationship with me that feels like that. You know, for someone like me, I just, you know, I've waited so long to be with the right person.

Speaker 6 And,

Speaker 6 you know, I've met a lot of really great guys, but they're definitely not the right person for me. And, you know, I just want to have respect for my, for my partner.

Speaker 6 And I want him to, you know, do everything that he wants to to do. And I want to do the same.

Speaker 5 And do you believe in like a co-creation, talking about work or having him help you with

Speaker 5 connections or stuff like that?

Speaker 6 Of course. And I think that's really important too.
It's like you, you know, each other. You have to be a supportive spouse.

Speaker 6 I mean, you can't just be like, oh, just come over here and let me just, you know, like Shel Silverstein, where like all of a sudden the giving tree is like this little stump.

Speaker 5 Like that's not fair.

Speaker 6 Yeah, it's give and take. Listen, I mean, we're talking about finances, but I think that like, and there's nothing wrong with being in love.
There's nothing wrong with that.

Speaker 6 You don't have to get married for money. You don't have to get married because you need to like live and move into an apartment.

Speaker 6 It's like, it's so nice to have someone like you as a role model who can talk to women about finances because it's something that's daunting. And I've had to deal with it all my life.

Speaker 6 I don't talk about it. I don't, you know, I know a lot, you know, like a lot of the housewives are like, I made all this money and they're throwing it around.

Speaker 6 And all these women like are watching and they're just kind of like,

Speaker 6 what? What about me? Like, I can't even pay bills. And, you know what I mean? So it's hard.
It's hard to see all of that.

Speaker 6 So I just want, you know, women to be excited about what they have and who they are.

Speaker 6 And, you know, to like recognize that there are checks and balances and the money that goes in, the money that goes out. And just to try to be mindful of what they're doing.

Speaker 5 Yeah. I think how people.
are in different parts of their relationship, if they're avoidant or whatever, it just transfers over to how you approach money too. Right.

Speaker 5 But it sounds like you're saying to viewers or watchers of the housewives, maybe don't emulate what you see. Don't be as frivolous as what you're watching on the show.

Speaker 6 Right. Right.

Speaker 6 But I mean, at the same time, you shouldn't be like, you know, be, you know, I need to be rich in order to be, you know, to feel good because it's, you know, there's so many more things in, you know, to be happy.

Speaker 6 And, you know, I've had so many iterations of my life and I've been through so much, you know, so many like peaks and valleys.

Speaker 6 And I don't feel, I still, to this day, believe in love and believe in like taking care of myself myself and taking care of other people.

Speaker 5 Yeah. What's one financial piece of advice you would give your former self?

Speaker 6 It's just what I tell myself today. It's just like, you know, there's a little for me, a little for the, for Uncle Sam, and then a little to put away.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 And I'm always like thinking of my girls, like what we're going to do for them and just like, just to be balanced about it.

Speaker 6 Because like, I mean, what you were saying before about like, you know, to live under your means, some people just can't do that.

Speaker 6 Some people just, you know, it's like, you know, my father came from absolutely nothing and he gave us so much education, integrity, you know,

Speaker 6 healthy mindset. And he lived way above his means, way above his needs.
But he created like we were his legacy. So whatever he spent was, well, we were his stocks.

Speaker 6 It's just kind of like a different kind of way of investing. Way of investing.

Speaker 5 Money Rehab is a production of Money News Network. I'm your host, Nicole Lapin.
Our executive producer is Morgan Lavoy. Do you need some Money Rehab? And let's be honest, we all do.

Speaker 5 So email us your money questions at moneyrehab at moneynewsnetwork.com to have your question answered on the show or even have a one-on-one intervention with me.

Speaker 5 And follow us on Instagram at MoneyNews and TikTok at Money News Network for exclusive video content. And lastly, thank you.

Speaker 5 Seriously, thank you for listening and investing in yourself, which is the most important investment you can make.