Storytime with MrBallen | Tom Segura

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All right, today is a very special episode.

I'm actually trying out a brand new format, but don't worry, it is not in replace of core Mr.

Ballin content.

This is in addition to.

So we're calling it Storytime with Mr.

Ballin, and I'm going to be interviewing a guest.

I've never done that before on any of my shows.

This is the first of its kind, and it's going to be be really good.

We're going to look at the art of storytelling, how my guest employs storytelling.

We're going to tell some stories, because of course, it wouldn't be a Mr.

Ball in production if there wasn't actual storytelling.

And in fact, I'm going to be telling a story that I've never shared anywhere.

It's a really good story, so that's going to happen today, too.

And our guest is incredible.

He's got movies coming out.

He's doing stand-up specials left and right.

He also happens to be a fan of the strange, dark, and mysterious.

And I'm really excited to talk to him about the art of storytelling, swapping some stories, and just seeing what he's all about.

So, without further ado, let's get into today's stories.

This is Storytime with Mr.

Balin.

I'm Tom Segura.

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Tom, welcome to Storytime with Mr.

Ballin.

Thank you.

Thank you for being on the show.

And for those who somehow don't know who Tom Sagura is, you are arguably one of the hottest comedians, both physically and career-wise in the game.

You are acting, producing, directing.

You are seriously everywhere right now.

And one of the things that I noticed about your sort of performance across mediums is that you really are like a remarkably good storyteller.

Oh, thanks, man.

You really have like nailed the art of storytelling, even though oftentimes when you tell stories, it's sort of, it seems sort of effortless.

Yeah.

But I mean, is that, were you ever sort of intentional about like threading being a storyteller into your work?

I love storytelling.

I've always loved storytelling.

I've always been like very hyper observant of good storytellers.

My mom is like an amazing natural storyteller.

Like she has all

the gifts that you need for great storytelling.

And my dad was as bad as you can get at telling a story.

Like the single worst storyteller,

a toddler tells better stories.

And so like you kind of, I think it actually helped to be like, oh shit, that's really good.

And like, God, that was so bad.

He would be like, I was in the store, and then the guy punched the guy.

So cops are there.

And you're like, wait, where?

What happened?

And like, her version of that story would be like, there was 100 people in line, which you know is an exaggeration, but like, that's part of storytelling, right?

Where to punch something up.

Sure.

And she's like, and it was hot.

And this man walked in and he looked dirty.

His hair was hanging.

So she's like painting a picture and you're like, yeah.

And then the other guy, he said, move.

And you're talking to my dad.

You're like, what about?

Yeah, oh, yeah, that guy.

You're like, that's the main guy of the story.

You missed it.

You don't have anything about it.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

All right.

He's dirty.

It's like just none of it.

Like none of the information, leaving out all the key information.

Whereas she was like a naturally dramatic.

storyteller, heightening parts of the story, drawing you in, telling, like adding color, right?

And then like knowing when to pull the pin on the whole thing, like just like natural.

What you realize is like when you're a big like beginning as a comic,

telling stories is actually, it's kind of advanced to get people to come along on a story.

It's, it's, it, if you don't see like year one, year two comics, like, oh, he's a great storyteller.

It's, it's short form.

It's like, because you're also, you're just not, you can't manufacture being a comfortable comic.

It happens because you've done it thousands of times.

And you have to have a level of comfortability to be like, I'm going to tell you stories.

So do you have like either a favorite or a go-to story that you would use on stage?

It's a joke, but like a story that you love to tell.

Probably the lost wallet story.

because that's a true story.

It's about a guy named Justin, right?

A guy who lost his wallet in a cab.

And the story is that I'm sharing the cab with a woman, and she finds the wallet in between us, asks if it's mine.

I say it's not, and she's going to give it to the driver.

And I go, No, give it to me.

I'll give it back to its rightful owner.

And all this happened.

I mean, this was in Adams, Morgan in DC.

And then I took it upon myself that I'm going to return this wallet to its owner, like this righteous, kind of feel-good, do-the-right thing path that I'm going to, and I announced it, so now I feel even more obligated.

And I went through a number of, like, I put a lot of time into getting this wallet back to this guy.

Yeah.

I do call a bunch of places.

I use all the information I can find.

And the only person I get a hold of is this guy's father, Justin's dad.

And when I tell him I have the wallet, he's just like, he's not going to amount to anything.

And I'm like, what?

And he's like, he's a piece of shit.

And I go, okay.

Can I give you the wallet?

And he hung up the phone.

And so that was like this kind of crazy, you know, closure to this of like the guys being like, My son sucks.

And then a long while later, I'm at, I mean, I still remember it quite vividly.

I'm, I'm at a lunch place on M Street in Georgetown, and I'm with my cousin, and we sat down, and we're just looking over the menu, catching up, and the waiter walks up, and I go, Justin?

He's like, how do you know my name?

And I go, dude, I have your wallet.

And he's like, do you have it on?

I go, I don't walk around with your fucking wallet.

No, I have my wallet, but I actually have your wallet.

And he was like, oh, cool.

You want something to drink?

And I'm like, that's all you're going to say about this, dude?

Like,

I found your wallet in a cab in Washington, D.C.

Like, it makes me crazy when somebody's reaction to something is like,

and so I ended up telling him to come meet me.

Yeah.

And he came to the door and I was like, expecting, like, now we're going to connect.

I gave him the wallet and he was like, cool, thanks.

And then he turned around and walked away.

And I was like, you're dad's right.

Like, you're a piece of shit.

And I shut the door.

It's funny.

Like, so even just now, like, the way you tell a story is you understand that there are aspects of the story that I need to appreciate the context.

Yes.

So that the story matters.

And so, like, that you just, you turned it into like a.

Context is like the biggest thing of joke telling, too.

Sometimes, like, you watch, I watch comedians that you go like man that's really funny why isn't that working like why doesn't it work because it's not that it's not funny and then you go like oh you haven't you need to convey more information at the top at the setup for that observation and joke to work like they they don't understand what the joke is about yet

the only reason you don't know what the joke is about is because you you haven't set it up clearly like

you need context for it to be funny

i gotta ask you dude like how are you able to do all of these things i mean right now you're doing stand-up specials on netflix like you have a thousand of those you have your amazing new show bad thoughts it's this incredible sketch comedy show on netflix and the way i would describe it is like It starts one way, each of these sketches, and it's beautiful cinematography.

And you have a sense of where it's going to go.

Right.

And then it just takes the most ridiculous detour into just

crazy territory.

And it reminds me of, there's this story by Edgar Allan Poe called The Imp of the Perverse.

And I'm not going to get into it, but the gist of the story is like he writes about this guy who he commits murder.

It's a fictional story.

It's this guy.

He commits murder and he gets away with it.

And he can't believe he's gotten away with murder.

And so he becomes obsessed with this idea that like he got away with it to the point where he's like, I got to tell someone I got away with murder and he begins talking about it and he eventually gets himself caught and he gets executed and it's like this notion from that story that we all have these like thoughts that are self-destructive yeah that like you're standing on the edge of a building and your fear is not that you'll fall it's that you might jump yeah and i feel like your show bad thoughts it sort of encapsulates like the worst intrusive bad thought that somebody in that scene could could act on And they do.

And it just takes it to this extreme level.

Like, how are you coming up with these stories?

Yeah, well, thank you very much for that.

I do appreciate it.

I've always felt this thing, and I think it's part of the release that you feel in comedy, right?

When you go to a, a lot of times you go to a show, and the big thing is people go, well, what is it about?

It's like, well, he says the thing that we all want to say.

Right.

Right.

Like the comedian does in some way.

And that's like such a release for an audience that like they're saying it.

They're saying the thoughts.

It's so relatable and uh i've i've always felt like that thing that i know i feel that human beings we we all have dark thoughts bad thoughts bad thoughts right and part of it is like well on an individual basis part of it societal norms where you just you have your thought but you don't act on it right i mean and and then you just try to like process that and then you know social media i think is this great example of like,

oh, these are things that nobody will say to your face.

Oh, yeah.

Right.

But it's like this permission to like, and let it, and it's probably, it's a release for people to be able to be like, I fucking hate you.

Like, cool.

It's really cool.

Because they'll never say it to you.

Right.

And so in like, in coming up with these stories, it's like, you know,

the coffee shop one

was one of the, was the first thing we shot

a few years back.

I actually filmed a few of the stories a few years.

That's how I got the show.

And so the coffee shop one was one of the original ones we filmed before we had a series.

Oh, nice.

And so, but that is like an example of, it's like wish everyone has had a bad retail experience, right?

Where you're like, I just want to fuck kill this person.

And then it was like, well, why don't we just make that?

Like, why don't we have the person

deserve

backlash in some way and just take it over the top.

So we just like went to an extreme place.

And it's the one that got the, by far, I think the biggest reaction where people were like writing things to me like, yo, they deserved it.

And like you're like, like, cool.

Yeah, they did.

They deserve to die

for the bad coffee order.

But yeah, that's a fun, you know, kind of way to exercise the thoughts.

It's like, what if we think of the thing we've always wanted to say or do or the impulse in that moment and actually act.

Yeah.

So, actually, I saw in one of your earliest stand-up specials, it was a completely normal that some of these ideas that popped up in bad thoughts, like the Stephen Seagal bit, and the barista one, the two-headed girl, it's like those stories become fully realized in bad thoughts.

But it seems like you at least had some concepts early on.

Oh, some of them have been sitting with me for a while.

Yeah, yeah.

Or even like the

origin, the nugget of the thing that became something else.

Like, there's a,

the whole reason the storyline of the, you know, the

virtual reality guy.

It's so good.

That's the second episode, right?

Yeah, because it's a three-part story, right?

It's so good.

So

there's the office where he gets like disrespected.

Then he creates the video game.

Then you reveal that it's a game.

And then there's the part three where it's like, he's become this successful guy.

Well, in part two,

where he's like, we need to sit on that toilet together, the origin, like the whole reason, like what makes me laugh is that the origin of that, the reason that that even exists is I've always loved upsetting my mother, right?

And I know there's things that she doesn't want to ever talk about.

And one of them is going to the bathroom, right?

She just doesn't want to.

So I try to say it as much as possible.

That's good.

And a few years, like several years ago, I would do father-son trips with my dad, like where I was a working adult, but I was like, he was like, you know, let's plan something.

We'd go spend like two, three days in Portland, Maine or something.

And then I'd go back to LA.

But we've been doing those trips for years.

And like

even

25, 30 years ago, when I was...

a teenager or whatever, I would go on a trip like with my dad.

I get back and my mom was like, how was the weekend?

And I would go, well, you know, it was great.

And I go, you know, this one day, I go, you know, dad was taking a shit.

And she would go, I don't want to hear this.

And I go, no, no, no.

This is, please, this is actually, she goes, I don't want to hear this.

I go, it's not what you think.

She's like, okay, what?

And I would go, so dad was taking a shit.

And she'd be like, what?

Okay.

And I go, you know how when you sit on a toilet, there's like a gap between your legs?

And she'd go, yeah.

I go, so I had to go.

And so I sat in that gap and we went at the same time and she'd be like what the hell is wrong

and so I would do that to her like every couple years I would tell her the same thing she would never remember that I'd already told her oh you've used this I would use that exact thing that we went to the bathroom at this she was like this is the most disgusting thing I've ever heard and I basically wrote a story where I was like how can I incorporate going to the bathroom

and that's where we created the portal world but it's all based on that do you have any concepts material that you do come back to that you think about that that could work but you don't you haven't employed it in a public way yet um there there is this thing where sometimes you go um

you know you i've tried things and abandoned them

and then you find that like five or ten years later you go, oh, there was that joke.

You're like, I'm going to try.

Ten years have gone by.

So I'm naturally going to have

some difference in my approach to saying it or telling it.

And it's one of those things where sometimes you go like, holy shit, that works now.

Like it needed to marinate for a decade.

But it is, I think,

you learn to listen.

You listen to yourself, right?

It's like, it's kind of like

your guiding

voice internally, right?

Of like, it's equivalent to like, don't walk down that hallway, you know, like, I think the thing you have to work, like, work on if you're doing this is

learning how to listen to that.

Listen to yourself.

Like, hey, man, don't ignore those thoughts.

Like, I used to think that laziness meant

not

getting up on stage.

But what I learned is that laziness in

comedy, like in stand-up, is about

all the times you're not on stage.

You can get on stage every night and still be a lazy comic.

You're lazy if you don't spend some time

kind of exploring your own thoughts, jotting down that thing, thinking about like that thing, that's the work.

The work is in those all that time before you get on stage.

And so it's...

It kind of surprises you.

Someone could be like, you're not lazy.

You're doing spots all the time.

You're like, no, you're still lazy because you're not doing anything off stage.

I mean, one thing that's very clear is you see comedians who are stuck, you know, like they're like, I feel stuck here.

I'm not evolving.

I would bet almost everything that

a lot of the people saying that are the ones who are not

trying things, not,

it's like not doing, you always need like new, something new.

New is what makes it exciting and moving.

And so it's very easy to fall into that.

Like, you figure out 20 minutes that work or whatever.

Yep.

And you go, I'm just going to do that because it works.

Because you get fear of like, what if I

leave that and I try to come up with new stuff and the new stuff doesn't hit like that.

But then the worst thing happens, which is that that 20 minutes that works.

just starts to weigh on you because it's not exciting or new in any way.

And then you slowly slowly kind of die inside.

That's why you kind of always want to turn things over.

Like I feel like you shoot something or you record a special and then you just go, I'm done with it and I need to come up with more.

And then your brain just kind of, you know,

you generate more because of the necessity.

The idea of like working on material, like going up on stage to a live audience

and not even telling them you're doing this, but like trying a new minute or whatever.

Yeah.

Is that something that you do?

I mean, oh yeah that's i mean that's the

that's the part you get addicted to right is the whole drive of doing stand-up it's thinking of something

and going i'm gonna try this on stage and then the

build of anxiety of will this work or won't this work

the

absolute the euphoria that you feel when it does work is like unlike any other feeling, which is why I think comedians will do it into their 90s if they live.

And then the absolute gutting depression you feel when it doesn't is like so, it's so powerful that you realize the only way to overcome that feeling is to try something again and hopefully get the other reaction.

Wow.

So I can only speak to my limited, not stand-up comedy, but I've done stand-up storytelling.

Yeah, if you have, you spoke in front of an audience.

Yeah, yeah.

But so in my world, I already know the conclusion of all the stories.

I know exactly where it's going to go.

I remember I had one show that I did, and the audience was literally like so respectful.

It was difficult for me to get into the story because they were so proper, so nice, so quiet.

The other crowds were like really reacting to stuff, and it made it so difficult to do the same stories I had rehearsed.

I can't imagine.

having the blow of them being like, dude, what was that?

And then getting up and doing it again.

Oh, yeah.

And the thing is, there there are audiences even sometimes in stand-up shows like you don't expect it but you get it's not like every crowd's the same sometimes you get these very reserved crowds yeah where you're like used to people with like a lot of energy and they're just like like clapping at the ending the bit and you're like jesus the thing you learn over time

is when an audience isn't like super high energy or you go like this audience sucks essentially.

Yeah, you don't go, hey, you, like, when you're starting out, you're like, why do you guys suck?

Because you don't realize that sometimes, and this is this is true,

that audience that was just like, they weren't high energy, they had a great time.

Like, you don't, you don't realize it until you've done this a while, that, like, you'll finish that show and you go, what the fuck was that?

And then you run into people and they're like, I had the best time at that.

And you're like, wow, really?

Because what happens is

an audience, for the most part,

they don't, they're not referencing this show to thousands of other shows.

You are.

Like, you know that they're down here on the list of audiences.

They don't know that.

That's true.

They're just like, this might be the first show they've gone to in like three years.

And they're like, this was a great time.

Wow.

And they'll become aware if you tell them.

So you're like, just so you know,

you suck.

And they're like,

I thought we were having a good time.

They just don't have that like level of energy.

Now, the next night, you could be in a venue where it is just like fireworks.

Yeah.

And

those are the ones you almost want to tell them.

Like, you guys are unbelievable.

Like, they don't, I don't know if you know this, but you're insanely good.

Yeah.

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Candice Rivera has it all.

In just three years, she went from stay-at-home mom to traveling the world, saving lives and making millions.

Anyone would think Candice's charm life is about as real real as Unicorn's.

But sometimes the truth is even harder to believe than the lies.

Not true.

There's so many things not true.

You gotta believe.

I'm Charlie Webster and this is Unicorn Girl, an Apple original podcast produced by 7 Hills.

Follow and listen on Apple Podcasts.

I know that you are a consumer.

of the strange, dark, and mysterious.

Yes.

So it wouldn't be a Mr.

Ballen episode if I didn't tell you a story.

Yes.

And so we actually looked for a story that would specifically resonate with you.

And I'm so excited about it.

And I also, we even, the way we got the story, this is the context part.

This story isn't really on the internet.

Like we heard references to it and we tried to find the source material for it, but we couldn't.

Like we literally looked, we couldn't find it.

It's a story out of Mexico.

And so we finally had our Spanish language researcher track down this library in Mexico that had a copy of this story.

There was a very unique recording and transcript, and it's being stored like locally at this library in Mexico.

And so the way to access this story is you can't just like contact the library.

You have to write them a letter to get access to this story.

To hear a story?

To just read the transcript.

Read a transcript.

In the story.

The story without the transcript, not really a good story.

You need the transcript.

You'll see.

So we followed their steps.

We contact the library and we get access to the story.

And they're like very weary of what we're going to do with it.

But they're like, okay,

be careful with this one, right?

Because it's like a sensitive story from Mexico.

Okay.

So that's the setup.

So

this is, by the way, let's just stop.

Great setup.

Great setup.

I mean, I don't know where this is going to go.

It's good.

But I'm fucking in, dude.

I mean, you just, you set up like a bond story.

I had to like request access through fucking headquarters to hear a story.

Okay.

So in June of 1976, there's this 23-year-old kid named Rafael Perez, and he's training to be a pilot.

And he's flying, he flies his training missions, if you will.

He's a civilian.

So he flies his training flights out of this airport in Chimilacan, Mexico.

It's about three hours inland from Acapulco.

And this kid, he's flown many times, but always with another pilot.

So he's learning how to fly a small plane, like a Cessna.

And on this day in June, he's going to fly on his own for the first time.

The flight profile is very simple.

You're going to take off like you always have, fly in a loop, come back and land.

Nothing more to it.

You're basically demonstrating you can do it without panicking on your own.

And keep in mind in 1976, the controls, the instruments inside of the aircrafts were pretty rudimentary.

Like they didn't have GPS systems.

It was sort of like you had like your compass and you had your altimeter, but honestly, a lot of flying was literally dead reckoning, like looking out the window and just seeing where you were, right?

So he takes off at 9.15 a.m.

It's June 23rd of 1976.

He takes off.

And right away he notices that it's very foggy.

And this was something he knew on the ground, but from a dead reckoning perspective, looking out the window, he's got limited access to reference points on the ground.

So he really has not really a good sense of where he is.

He's using his instruments and he's sort of guessing when he's supposed to make this turn to bank around, to come in and land.

But on his approach back to the airport, he's successfully done this flight, he can't quite find the airport.

Like he's struggling to see it.

But at a certain point, based on his instruments, he realizes he's off course, he's lost.

And so he tries calling in with the radio back to the control tower to be like, I'm lost, like I'm letting you know, it's going to take me a minute.

He doesn't really hear back from them, it's sort of garbled static.

And then he realizes, oh, I need to fly back left.

I need to go left.

So he takes the yoke, the steering wheel, and he tries to bank the airplane left.

But the airplane doesn't go left.

It just continues flying level at 7,000 feet in a straight line.

And he's thinking, okay, there's clearly some sort of issue here.

It's okay.

He's not panicking.

He hops on the radio and he says, hey, I'm having some issues.

I can't go left.

He tried going right.

Nothing's affecting the plane.

It's flying straight at 7,000 feet.

He hops on the radio.

He starts talking.

Like, what do I do here?

I can't do anything to my plane.

And as he's trying to get a hold of anybody who's not getting back in touch with him, but we have...

his voice being recorded into this radio, the plane actually begins to climb.

And he's not pulling back on the yoke.

He's not making the plane climb.

The plane is climbing on its own.

And so it begins to climb.

And the way the fog and mist was, is there was like this big, like huge cloud that he was basically flying into.

So he's ascending up to like eight, nine, 10,000 feet.

He can't go left, can't go right.

He's just going straight up into this cloud.

And so he can't see anything.

He's like in a void.

He's totally panicked now.

He can't get a hold of anybody on the radio.

About the time he's totally obscured in the clouds, he feels this overwhelming tiredness come over him.

and he passes out, just passes out in the cockpit.

He wakes up in the cockpit, has no idea how long he's been asleep for.

Could have been a second, could have been days, but he's immediately shocked that, holy cow, I did not crash the plane.

Like, I know I just fell asleep in the plane.

But a couple things immediately become clear to him.

First of all, his plane's still flying.

He's still in the air.

He's still coasting along, right?

But he's back down to 7,000 feet.

He was climbing before, now he's back down to 7,000 feet.

He also looks out the window and there's no more mist or fog or anything like that.

It's actually just the open ocean underneath him.

And immediately he thinks to himself, I took off from this airport that's three hours inland from the coast.

If I went in a straight line and he looks at his clock and it says 11.30, he took off at 9.15, 10.15, 11.15.

It took two hours and 15 minutes from the time he took off.

I'm doing the math right.

It's below three hours.

What body of water am I over?

The amount of time that has transpired that apparently I was asleep for is not enough time for me to arrive over any body of water.

That flashes through his mind.

In addition to that, he looks at his gas gauge and it's at three quarters tank.

And he knew that not only is that way too high, but he wouldn't have had, even if he had three hours, he wouldn't have had enough gas to reach any water body.

So wouldn't have had enough gas, but have three quarter tank of gas.

Also, again, how did I get here?

I have no idea how I got here.

Has no idea where he is.

And as he's like coming to like, what's happening here, somebody chimes in over the radio and goes, hey, hey, are you there?

And he grabs his radio and he's like, he's totally frantic.

He's like, hey, I fell asleep in my plane.

I don't know where I am.

And there's a pause, and this is all recorded.

There's a pause.

And the guy on the other end, he introduces himself sort of cautiously.

He's like, hey, this is Carlos.

Are you alone in your airplane?

And Raphael is like, of course I'm alone.

Like, where am I?

I think I fell asleep.

I don't know what's going on.

And Carlos, his reaction is just sort of, okay.

well, listen, here's what we're going to do.

You're just off the coast of Acapoco.

And for the last hour, you've been flying out over the water.

You just kind of showed up, right?

And by the way, going back to the timeline, he arrived off the coast of Acapoco now an hour earlier.

That was 10.30 in the morning, took off at 9.15.

Takes three hours to get there.

He apparently did it in about an hour and 15 minutes.

So he's circling over the water.

And Carlos is like, hey, just come into the airport where I am.

I'm going to get you in there.

You're going to land and we'll talk to you then.

And so Raphael is just happy to be alive at this point.

He comes in, he lands at the airport in Acapulco.

And as soon as he gets off, there's these people in suits that are there to meet him.

And they immediately take him, they detain him, put him in like a black car.

He's asking what's going on.

Nobody knows.

They don't tell him.

And they drive him to a hospital.

And he's the whole time saying, I'm so sorry about the craft.

Please tell like the where I flew out of that I'm sorry about the craft.

I hope it's not damaged.

They bring him to the hospital.

They drug test him right away.

He's not on drugs.

He's sober.

And they also have a psychologist come in and they give him a profile, make sure he's sane, and she determines that he is.

And so the whole time, Raphael has no idea what's happening.

He doesn't know what they're doing.

He doesn't understand any of this.

And so finally they say, okay, we're going to tell you what happened.

So

when you showed up off the coast to Bacopoco at about 10.30 in the morning, which no one understands how you got there.

It's not possible.

You showed up on the radar screen of who you were talking to, Carlos, the air traffic control guy.

And he talked to you for an hour while you were out over the water.

That whole time you were circling, you were talking to him and it was recorded.

And I'm going to read to you the first thing that Raphael said to Carlos.

And you're going to see in a minute why Carlos's first question when Raphael came to was, is there somebody else in the plane?

He said in a very deep, almost robotic voice, when Carlos saw this blip on his radar at 10.30, he said, hey, who is this?

You're flying over Acapulco's coast.

What's going on here?

The voice came back and said, the pilot is speaking, but not of his own free will.

We are using him as a microphone.

Your equipment is too primitive.

It is not important who we are or where we come from, only that we are inhabitants of the same universe.

For the next 30 to 45 minutes, the voice being projected through Raphael talked about humanity is the only intelligent species in the entire universe that uses warfare and conducts violence on each other, and you are poised for a nuclear holocaust, and you may be exterminated if this continues.

And then at about 11.30,

Raphael wakes up and his voice changed completely.

And he's like, oh, what's going on?

I think I fell asleep at the wheel.

And that's why Carlos is like, wait a minute, I've been talking to you for an hour.

And he's like, somebody else in the craft with you, right?

No one has any idea how Raphael wound up over the coast.

They examined his plane.

Nothing wrong with his plane.

It really was three-quarter tanks of gas.

Didn't make sense how it got there.

Nobody knows.

Raphael has no idea how he got there.

And the Mexican government quickly took this story, buried it, and now you can only access it in this obscure library in Mexico.

That's a great story.

That's a great story.

So, what's your take on what happened?

First of all,

great job telling the story.

Thank you.

I mean, there is only one summary you could get.

Either this is like a, I guess it's two, it's either a bipolar schizophrenic who is having a pretty crazy episode, or there's another being involved, which is

more exciting, more entertaining.

Because we're in the era now of the government being like, yeah, we have we have stuff.

UFOs are real.

Yeah.

And we have aliens and they've been here and other places have them too.

And most people just go, oh, cool.

Like the thing that we used to make a movie about as being like, can you imagine if there were aliens and everybody would go go like, that would be fucking wild.

And then now we're like, yeah, we have them.

And everyone's like, yeah.

It's very strange, right?

Like that

there's like congressional testimony about aliens.

Nobody's heart even skipped a beat.

I thought we would all stop and be like, no way.

Nobody cares.

I know.

Some of the footage that's been released that some of the videos of these apparent UFOs.

Yeah.

I mean, either it's an incredible CGI, which is entirely possible.

But I think the idea that there's this like widespread conspiracy by the government to like, what, dupe us into believing that maybe there are, that these aren't real or something.

It doesn't make any sense to me.

No, it doesn't.

Do you believe in aliens?

I mean, are extraterrestrials life outside of humans?

So for me, it was always like

when you have, and I don't even have the full comprehension of it, but when you have some

grasp of the idea of the size of our galaxies and the universe, it becomes, for me, it just always felt like too arrogant to be like, it's just us.

Yes.

I stand with you firmly on that point.

Yeah.

And then like, I think the natural thing is that you just become naturally more curious.

You know, my wife is a huge, like, dude, it's all day.

She's like, do you know what this guy just said about UAPs?

I'm like, I don't know.

And she gives me like...

Like the, she'll read back the transcript from like the senator.

And I'm like, wow, that's pretty wild.

That's pretty good.

But honestly, it's made me

that it is a more exciting thing to like, of course it is, think about and talk about.

And then,

I mean, I think the natural thing is like, it feels like it's almost like being crumbed out for us.

You're like, yeah, but

where's the next thing, right?

Like, when are we going to see or hear from something?

You know, like, you just want more.

At that point, exactly, I think it was Neil deGros Tyson who gave this example.

I don't know if it was him, the astrophysicist guy.

He was like, humans think that if there were alien life, extraterrestrial life on Earth, that effectively we believe we could just simply identify it.

That you would view it as like a three-dimensional being, let's say.

But he was like, think of it this way.

What are the odds?

Or I should say, when you walk down the street and there is an ant on the ground, are you like, I want to get down there and talk to that ant.

Right.

No.

No.

You might step on the ant.

You might not even notice the ant.

Go even lower than that to like algae.

Are you like looking to communicate with algae?

No.

What's to say that we are not equivalent to an ant or algae to other beings?

Suggesting if there were higher beings on this planet, it's very arrogant to say we would simply, one, they'd be interested in us.

Are you interested in algae?

Or two, that we could even recognize them as anything close to what we are.

Algae and humans couldn't be more different in terms of their makeup.

And so it's like they could absolutely be here but they're four-dimensional imagine the aliens watching like they're just like trying to figure out and they just pull up this clip and they're just like look at these two fucking ants like talking about the dumbest shit

waste our time with these morons dude they're also the there's also the theory that it becomes you know it feels like fantasy but I don't know, you can let your mind kind of embrace the idea that certain humans, you're like, that's a reptilian.

Like, you know what I mean?

Like, that's an, like these evil, like these like innately evil seeming people.

Yeah.

And I don't know that they're already here.

You're like, it's kind of fun to play with that idea.

I like to believe, man.

Yeah.

I do.

It's fun.

It's fun.

So for you, I mean, I, I, uh, you've been successful in so many different mediums.

You know, you just got renewed for season two of bad thoughts, which is amazing.

You've sort of done like all of it.

What's the next chapter?

Like you you described evolving I mean you've done a lot of that what's next

honestly it's

I mean I keep doing as many of those things as you can and then I it's I have a movie this summer I'm really excited to do

I've always loved movies like I'm a huge fan of cinema yeah and so for me it's like

I feel like I won the lottery where I get to, I'm like, I get to do a movie.

This is so awesome.

I'm so excited to do it.

Can you tell us anything about the movie?

Yeah, I mean it's a cartel comedy.

I get to play more than one character.

I get to play two characters, which is like it just feels insane that they're allowing me to do this.

And it's really, really funny script.

It's so ridiculous.

And it's an R-rated comedy.

Yeah.

It's wild.

It's wild.

It's fun, but it also has like a lot.

To me, like the thing that I loved about great comedies growing up, especially like R-rated comedies, was like

you almost take the comedies for granted,

the comedic parts of it.

It's like you have to have great story

supporting the comedy.

It's almost like you go like, I know this is going to be funny, but is the story a good story?

And I think this is a really good story that has like great dynamics, great characters, and it's outrageously funny, but you still care for this main character.

And

I don't know, I mean, I'm talking to you about six weeks before we shoot.

I hope

they'll definitely cut this up in plane if we make a piece of shit.

It's going to be so good.

But I'm very excited to do it.

I'm so excited.

So that's, to me, like the most exciting thing about like what's next.

I'm like, I'm so stoked to do this.

I've always been, I moved to LA when I was 22 thinking that like I'm going to have a movie career.

And I'm 46.

Crushing it, dude.

I'm going to do a movie.

Yeah.

So I'm excited.

Well, dude, congratulations.

And seriously, you need to check out Bad Thoughts on Netflix.

Season two is very exciting.

I look forward to your movie.

You're the man, dude.

Thanks for watching.

Appreciate it, man.

It was lovely.

Thank you.

Thank you.

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