The Journal

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Speaker 1 Welcome to bedtime stories for everyone,

Speaker 1 in which

Speaker 1 nothing much happens.

Speaker 1 You feel good,

Speaker 1 and then you fall asleep.

Speaker 1 I'm Catherine Nikolai.

Speaker 1 I write and and read all the stories you hear on Nothing Much Happens.

Speaker 1 Audio Engineering is by Bob Wittersheim.

Speaker 1 We give to a different charity each week, and this week we are giving to Fellow Earthlings Wildlife Center.

Speaker 1 Fellow Earthlings specializes in caring for meer cats. You can learn more about them in our show notes.

Speaker 1 Our bedtime stories are brought to you by the letter you,

Speaker 1 as in you.

Speaker 1 Your support. When you buy a product from one of our sponsors or share our show with a friend, leave a good review or subscribe to our premium feed.

Speaker 1 Thank you.

Speaker 1 Tucking so many in at night gives me sweet dreams.

Speaker 1 Subscribe, follow us on socials, and learn more at nothingmuchhappens.com.

Speaker 1 Busy minds need a place to rest.

Speaker 1 And that's what this is.

Speaker 1 So let the gentle shape of the story catch your attention

Speaker 1 just enough to replace the background static of your mind. That gentle focus will shift you right into deep sleep.

Speaker 1 I'll tell the story twice, and I'll go a little slower the second time through.

Speaker 1 If you wake later in the night, don't hesitate to turn on another episode, or let them just play all through the night.

Speaker 1 Our story tonight is called The Journal, and it's a story about the blank pages of a beautiful book, and the freedom to finally write in them. no matter what comes from your pen.

Speaker 1 It's also about tonic water, an espresso,

Speaker 1 deep breaths in child's pose,

Speaker 1 a garden at midnight, and small prompts reminding us to let go of some things

Speaker 1 and dive deeper into others.

Speaker 1 Now lights out,

Speaker 1 devices down,

Speaker 1 snuggle in and get as comfortable as you can.

Speaker 1 There's nothing left to do today.

Speaker 1 In fact,

Speaker 1 nothing

Speaker 1 is what is needed now.

Speaker 1 Soften your shoulders,

Speaker 1 your jaw,

Speaker 1 your neck and hands.

Speaker 1 Draw a deep breath in through your nose

Speaker 1 and sigh from your mouth.

Speaker 1 Again, breathe in

Speaker 1 and let it go.

Speaker 1 Good.

Speaker 1 The journal.

Speaker 1 I've dusted it countless times,

Speaker 1 moved it from one shelf to another,

Speaker 1 onto my bedside table and off again, into my bag and back to the shelf.

Speaker 1 It's just

Speaker 1 such a beautiful journal. Honestly, it has intimidated me.

Speaker 1 What could I write on the inside

Speaker 1 that would be as lovely as the outside?

Speaker 1 A few times I'd even opened the front cover,

Speaker 1 pressed into the center crease to crack the spine,

Speaker 1 and thought for a while about starting an entry.

Speaker 1 But then I'd reach toward the pencil cup and freeze up,

Speaker 1 wondering if I should use a pretty pen,

Speaker 1 dark green or purple ink, or if that was too permanent. Maybe a pencil would be better.

Speaker 1 Then how should I lay it out? The date in the corner?

Speaker 1 Do I give the entry a title?

Speaker 1 Bullet points? Or

Speaker 1 just begin.

Speaker 1 By then, the whole exercise, which was meant to be enjoyable and relaxing,

Speaker 1 had become anything but.

Speaker 1 And I'd shut the journal and set it aside again.

Speaker 1 Then this week,

Speaker 1 I'd been in yoga class, resting in child's pose.

Speaker 1 My hips sunk back toward my heels. My My chest dropped down toward the mat.

Speaker 1 When my teacher made a simple suggestion,

Speaker 1 a mantra that we might try out for the week, just to see how it felt.

Speaker 1 The mantra was,

Speaker 1 oh well.

Speaker 1 I chuckled into my mat when she said it.

Speaker 1 It did seem an almost absurdly simple approach.

Speaker 1 She went on to remind us

Speaker 1 of how many

Speaker 1 small, insignificant things we gave mental space to.

Speaker 1 How often things that didn't actually matter were treated

Speaker 1 not only like they did,

Speaker 1 but like they deserved a lot of attention, energy, and urgency.

Speaker 1 She invited us to tune in in the coming days

Speaker 1 and see if we could spot a few moments when we were getting hung up on details that didn't matter

Speaker 1 and try saying to ourselves,

Speaker 1 oh well.

Speaker 1 It might help build a habit of right-sizing our circumstances

Speaker 1 and maybe even

Speaker 1 enjoying our days a bit more.

Speaker 1 So to day,

Speaker 1 when I trailed my fingers over the books on my shelf,

Speaker 1 looking for something new to read,

Speaker 1 and came across the journal,

Speaker 1 I thought of my previous hesitancy to mess up the pretty pages with my scribbles.

Speaker 1 I smiled and said,

Speaker 1 Oh well,

Speaker 1 and slid it off the shelf.

Speaker 1 I took my favorite pen from the cup

Speaker 1 without a second thought,

Speaker 1 and dropped them both into my bag,

Speaker 1 and headed out to the coffee shop.

Speaker 1 The shop was busy,

Speaker 1 and I liked it.

Speaker 1 The sound of milk steaming and beans grinding, the chatter of others,

Speaker 1 and the steady ring of the bell over the door

Speaker 1 all helped me feel private and unperceived.

Speaker 1 Like the world was too occupied with its own story

Speaker 1 to take much notice of mine.

Speaker 1 I settled at a table outside

Speaker 1 under a pergola wrapped in ivy and Virginia creeper.

Speaker 1 It was shady and cool in the summer heat.

Speaker 1 And to go with it, I'd ordered an espresso tonic,

Speaker 1 a little sweet, slightly bitter, and very refreshing.

Speaker 1 I took my journal and pen from my bag

Speaker 1 and rolled my shoulders back,

Speaker 1 letting out a big sigh.

Speaker 1 The cover reminded me of a garden at midnight.

Speaker 1 Dark blue fabric,

Speaker 1 embroidered flowers in red and sapphire,

Speaker 1 ivory stars,

Speaker 1 and a golden moon.

Speaker 1 The pages were cut unevenly.

Speaker 1 A style I remembered was called Deckled Edges.

Speaker 1 And stitched into the binding was a satin chocolate brown ribbon to mark the pages with.

Speaker 1 And the size and shape of it

Speaker 1 it wasn't standard it was square and the perfect size to carry in your hand

Speaker 1 I turned it over feeling the texture of the cover and edges

Speaker 1 and tried to remember where I'd even got this journal

Speaker 1 had it been a gift

Speaker 1 something I'd bought for myself at a craft fair or the stationery shop.

Speaker 1 It was strange that I couldn't put my finger on it.

Speaker 1 It seemed like it had just shown up on my shelf one day.

Speaker 1 I remembered my mantra and whispered aloud, Oh well.

Speaker 1 I opened the cover and saw a line for my name.

Speaker 1 This journal belongs to,

Speaker 1 it said.

Speaker 1 And with no hesitation I scrawled in my name.

Speaker 1 It was a little slanted,

Speaker 1 and I'd smudged the last letter as I finished it.

Speaker 1 But I practised just letting it be.

Speaker 1 Not perfect, but

Speaker 1 it existed, and it hadn't before.

Speaker 1 Flipping through the pages,

Speaker 1 I realized that there were illustrations and quotes on some of them.

Speaker 1 How had I not noticed before?

Speaker 1 Fireflies

Speaker 1 and ship anchors,

Speaker 1 birds crossing the sky and fence posts crowded with grasses.

Speaker 1 There were sketches of spotted toadstools

Speaker 1 and pocket watches.

Speaker 1 And across the center page,

Speaker 1 a range of mountains capped in snow.

Speaker 1 I kept paging through

Speaker 1 and saw that the quotes were actually prompts,

Speaker 1 short entryways into writing,

Speaker 1 with enough space under them to suggest how much to scroll.

Speaker 1 All along, this book was

Speaker 1 waiting for me to look more closely

Speaker 1 and guide me out of my stalling

Speaker 1 and into creating.

Speaker 1 Well, I thought,

Speaker 1 no more waiting.

Speaker 1 I set the book down on the table

Speaker 1 and opened it up.

Speaker 1 I looked through a few of the prompts,

Speaker 1 and while I could see myself spinning a tale or recounting a memory from them,

Speaker 1 none felt right.

Speaker 1 There were simple suggestions to write on

Speaker 1 what felt good today?

Speaker 1 What can you hear right now?

Speaker 1 Or more thoughtfully,

Speaker 1 what are you done with?

Speaker 1 But haven't sat down yet?

Speaker 1 Hmm, I could write a few pages on that one.

Speaker 1 I wanted something more creative instead.

Speaker 1 Something that would send my little boat sailing out into a sea of imagination.

Speaker 1 I decided to trust the journal and flipped through it with my eyes closed.

Speaker 1 When my fingers touched a page that seemed to tingle with importance,

Speaker 1 I cracked an eyelid and peered down.

Speaker 1 I chuckled at the two-word prompt on the page.

Speaker 1 It seemed like the other side

Speaker 1 of the oh well mantra I'd been saying all day.

Speaker 1 One that,

Speaker 1 instead of dismissing the details,

Speaker 1 let you lean in and develop them.

Speaker 1 There was a stretch of open pages following the prompt, and I decided to fill them,

Speaker 1 no matter what silliness I wrote

Speaker 1 or how sloppy my writing.

Speaker 1 I lifted my pen and uncapped it,

Speaker 1 set the nib to the page,

Speaker 1 and began to write under the prompt.

Speaker 1 What if

Speaker 1 The journal.

Speaker 1 I've dusted it countless times.

Speaker 1 Moved it from one shelf to another.

Speaker 1 Onto my bedside table and off again.

Speaker 1 Into my bag.

Speaker 1 And back to the shelf.

Speaker 1 It's just

Speaker 1 such

Speaker 1 a beautiful journal.

Speaker 1 Honestly, it has intimidated me.

Speaker 1 What could I write on the inside

Speaker 1 that would be as lovely as the outside?

Speaker 1 A few times

Speaker 1 I'd even opened the front cover,

Speaker 1 pressed into the center crease to crack the spine,

Speaker 1 and thought for a while about starting an entry.

Speaker 1 But then I'd reach toward the pencil cup and freeze up,

Speaker 1 wondering if I should use a pretty pen,

Speaker 1 dark green or purple ink,

Speaker 1 or if that was

Speaker 1 too permanent,

Speaker 1 maybe a pencil would be better.

Speaker 1 Then,

Speaker 1 how should I lay it out?

Speaker 1 The date in the corner?

Speaker 1 Do I give the entry a title?

Speaker 1 Bullet points

Speaker 1 or

Speaker 1 just

Speaker 1 begin.

Speaker 1 By then,

Speaker 1 the whole exercise,

Speaker 1 which was meant to be enjoyable and relaxing,

Speaker 1 had become anything but.

Speaker 1 And I'd shut the journal

Speaker 1 and set it aside again.

Speaker 1 Then this week,

Speaker 1 I'd been in yoga class,

Speaker 1 resting in child's pose.

Speaker 1 My hips sunk back toward my heels.

Speaker 1 My chest

Speaker 1 dropped down toward the mat.

Speaker 1 When my teacher made a simple suggestion,

Speaker 1 a mantra

Speaker 1 that we might try out for the week, just to see how it felt.

Speaker 1 The mantra was

Speaker 1 oh well

Speaker 1 I chuckled into my mat

Speaker 1 when she said it.

Speaker 1 It did seem

Speaker 1 an almost absurdly

Speaker 1 simple approach.

Speaker 1 She went on to remind us

Speaker 1 of how many

Speaker 1 small,

Speaker 1 insignificant things

Speaker 1 we gave mental space to.

Speaker 1 How often things that

Speaker 1 didn't actually matter

Speaker 1 were treated not only like they did,

Speaker 1 but like they deserved a lot of attention,

Speaker 1 energy,

Speaker 1 and urgency.

Speaker 1 She invited us to tune in in the coming days

Speaker 1 and see if we could spot

Speaker 1 a few moments

Speaker 1 when we were getting hung up

Speaker 1 on details that didn't matter

Speaker 1 and try saying to ourselves,

Speaker 1 oh well,

Speaker 1 it might help build a habit

Speaker 1 of right-sizing our circumstances

Speaker 1 and maybe

Speaker 1 even

Speaker 1 enjoying our days a bit more.

Speaker 1 So today,

Speaker 1 when I trailed my fingers over the books on my shelf,

Speaker 1 looking for something new to read,

Speaker 1 I came across the journal.

Speaker 1 I thought of my previous hesitancy to

Speaker 1 mess up the pretty pages with my scribbles.

Speaker 1 I smiled and said,

Speaker 1 Oh well,

Speaker 1 and slid it off the shelf.

Speaker 1 I took my favorite pen from the cup without a second thought

Speaker 1 and dropped them both into my bag

Speaker 1 and headed out

Speaker 1 to the coffee shop.

Speaker 1 The shop was busy,

Speaker 1 and I liked it.

Speaker 1 The sound of milk steaming

Speaker 1 and beans grinding,

Speaker 1 the chatter of others,

Speaker 1 and the steady ring

Speaker 1 of the bell over the door

Speaker 1 all helped me feel private and unperceived

Speaker 1 like the world was too occupied with its own story

Speaker 1 to take much notice of mine.

Speaker 1 I settled at a table outside

Speaker 1 under a pergola, wrapped in ivy and Virginia creeper.

Speaker 1 It was shady

Speaker 1 and cool in the summer heat

Speaker 1 and to go with it

Speaker 1 I'd ordered an espresso tonic,

Speaker 1 a little sweet,

Speaker 1 slightly bitter, and very refreshing.

Speaker 1 I took my journal

Speaker 1 and pen from the bag

Speaker 1 and rolled my shoulders back,

Speaker 1 letting out a big sigh.

Speaker 1 The cover reminded me

Speaker 1 of a garden at midnight

Speaker 1 dark blue fabric,

Speaker 1 embroidered flowers

Speaker 1 in red and sapphire,

Speaker 1 ivory stars,

Speaker 1 and a golden moon.

Speaker 1 The pages were cut unevenly.

Speaker 1 A style I remembered was called

Speaker 1 Deckled Edges.

Speaker 1 And stitched into the binding

Speaker 1 was a satin chocolate brown ribbon to mark the pages with.

Speaker 1 And the size and shape of it

Speaker 1 it wasn't standard,

Speaker 1 It was square

Speaker 1 and the perfect size

Speaker 1 to carry in your hand.

Speaker 1 I turned it over,

Speaker 1 feeling the texture of the cover and the edges,

Speaker 1 and tried to remember

Speaker 1 where I'd even gotten this journal.

Speaker 1 Had it been a gift?

Speaker 1 Something I'd bought for myself

Speaker 1 at a craft fair

Speaker 1 or

Speaker 1 at the stationery shop.

Speaker 1 It was strange that I couldn't put my finger on it.

Speaker 1 It seemed like it had just

Speaker 1 shown up on my shelf one day.

Speaker 1 I remembered my mantra

Speaker 1 and whispered aloud,

Speaker 1 oh well.

Speaker 1 I opened the cover

Speaker 1 and saw a line for my name.

Speaker 1 This journal belongs to,

Speaker 1 it said.

Speaker 1 And with no hesitation,

Speaker 1 I scrawled in my name.

Speaker 1 It was a little slanted,

Speaker 1 and I'd smudged the last letter

Speaker 1 as I finished it.

Speaker 1 But I practiced

Speaker 1 Letting it be.

Speaker 1 Not perfect,

Speaker 1 but it existed,

Speaker 1 and it hadn't before.

Speaker 1 Flipping through the pages,

Speaker 1 I realized there were illustrations

Speaker 1 and quotes on some of them.

Speaker 1 How had I not noticed before?

Speaker 1 There were fireflies

Speaker 1 and ship anchors,

Speaker 1 birds crossing the sky,

Speaker 1 and fence posts crowded with grasses,

Speaker 1 sketches of spotted toadstools, and pocket watches,

Speaker 1 and across the center page,

Speaker 1 a range of mountains, capped in snow.

Speaker 1 I kept paging through

Speaker 1 and saw that the quotes were actually prompts,

Speaker 1 short entryways

Speaker 1 into writing

Speaker 1 with enough space under them

Speaker 1 to suggest how much to scroll.

Speaker 1 All along

Speaker 1 this book was waiting for me

Speaker 1 to look more closely

Speaker 1 and guide me out of my stalling and into creating.

Speaker 1 Well, I thought,

Speaker 1 no more waiting.

Speaker 1 I set the book down on the table

Speaker 1 and opened it up.

Speaker 1 I looked through a few of the prompts,

Speaker 1 and while I could see myself spinning a tale or

Speaker 1 recounting a memory from them,

Speaker 1 none felt quite right.

Speaker 1 There were simple suggestions to write on

Speaker 1 what felt good to-day

Speaker 1 or

Speaker 1 what can you hear

Speaker 1 right now?

Speaker 1 Or more thoughtfully,

Speaker 1 what are you done with?

Speaker 1 But haven't set down yet?

Speaker 1 Hmm.

Speaker 1 I could write a few pages on that one.

Speaker 1 I wanted something more creative instead.

Speaker 1 something that would send my little boat

Speaker 1 sailing into a sea of imagination.

Speaker 1 I decided to trust the journal

Speaker 1 and flip through it

Speaker 1 with my eyes closed.

Speaker 1 When my fingers touched a page

Speaker 1 that seemed to tingle with importance

Speaker 1 I cracked an eyelid and peered down

Speaker 1 I chuckled at the two-word prompt on the page

Speaker 1 It seemed like

Speaker 1 the other side

Speaker 1 of the oh well mantra

Speaker 1 I'd been saying all day.

Speaker 1 One that,

Speaker 1 instead of dismissing the details,

Speaker 1 let you lean in

Speaker 1 and develop them.

Speaker 1 There was a stretch of open pages

Speaker 1 following the prompt,

Speaker 1 and I decided to fill them.

Speaker 1 No matter

Speaker 1 what silliness I wrote

Speaker 1 or how sloppy my writing,

Speaker 1 I lifted my pen

Speaker 1 and uncapped it,

Speaker 1 set the nib to the page,

Speaker 1 and began to write

Speaker 1 under the prompt

Speaker 1 what

Speaker 1 if

Speaker 1 sweet dreams