The Fulfillment Gap: When the Climb Costs More Than It Gives w/ John R. Miles | EP 654

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Coming up next on Passion Struck, picture this.

You're climbing a mountain.

Each step is fueled by years of ambition, long nights, and the belief that finally reaching the summit will bring you the view.

you've been waiting for your entire life.

But when you arrive at the top, the air, it feels thin.

Instead of exhilaration, you feel drained.

Instead of pride, you wonder, was it worth it?

This moment isn't just about mountaintops.

For millions of us, it's about our work.

Welcome to Passion Struck.

Hi, I'm your host, John R.

Miles, and on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you.

Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself.

If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays.

We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes.

Now, let's go out there and become passion struck.

Welcome back to episode 654 of Passion Struck and to part three of our series on redefining wellness.

Over the past few weeks, we've been exploring why wellness is far more than just diet or exercise.

We've looked at this as a four-part journey.

Feel for the body, feel for the mind, fulfill through purpose, and flow through spirit.

Each step builds upon the next, creating a path towards healing from the inside out.

Earlier this week, I spoke with Christopher Wong Mickelson and Jennifer Toasty Karis, who showed us how meaningful work isn't just a career choice.

It's a health choice.

And yesterday, you heard from Teen Zhu, the founder of Zura, about how leaders can build cultures that prioritize values and people.

Today, I want to build upon those episodes with a solo deep dive into how work relates to our overall well-being.

So let me ask you this.

What if the very thing that's supposed to sustain you, your work, is actually draining the life out of you?

Gallup's latest State of the Global Workforce Report found that six in 10 employees are emotionally detached from their job and nearly one out of five are miserable.

Think about that.

The place where we spend most of our waking hours isn't fueling us, it's depleting us.

And yet there's a growing minority who are actually thriving.

They're not immune to tough days, but their work fuels them.

It aligns with purpose.

It gives them belonging and vitality.

The difference between those two groups may be the difference between sickness and wellness.

Not just in the body, but in the mind, in purpose, and in spirit.

There's a hidden divide that's shaping how we experience our careers and our health.

Today, we're going to explore what drives that divide, and more importantly, how you can start to close it.

Thank you for choosing Passion Struct and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life.

Now, let that journey begin.

Think of your life as a symphony.

Each part, your mind, your body, your work, your relationships, is an instrument.

When they're all in tune, the music flows.

It feels effortless.

But here's the catch.

If even one section is out of tune, no matter how well the others perform, the whole piece feels off.

You can eat clean, train hard, sleep eight hours a night.

But if your work, the thing where you spend most of your waking hours, is out of alignment, the music of your life starts to sound discordant.

And that's what this entire series has been about.

Widening our lens on wellness, beyond food and exercise.

We've been moving through a four-part journey.

In week one of the series, we discussed fuel, what we put into our bodies, food, rest, energy.

Then last week, we discussed feel, how we regulate emotions, heal our nervous system, and build resilience.

And this week, we're talking about fulfill, how we find meaning in our work and purpose.

And next week, we'll be going into flow, the soul-level integration of identity, values, and legacy.

Each one builds upon the last.

And in today's pillar, Fulfill, we come back to work.

Because the truth is, work isn't just a paycheck and a title.

It's one of the primary environments that's shaping our health every single day.

Earlier this week, I had the privilege of sitting down with Jennifer Tosty-Karris and Christopher Wong-Mickelson.

Their research digs into the role of meaningful work, and they showed us something profound, that burnout isn't just about long hours or difficult bosses.

At its core, burnout is about misalignment.

When your daily work doesn't line up with your deepest values and purpose.

The cost isn't just professional dissatisfaction.

It's physical and emotional illness.

Think about it.

How many times have you pushed through on a project that didn't feel right or stayed in a role that left you feeling hollow only to feel the toll in your body?

Migraines, back pain, anxiety, sleepless nights.

It's not your imagination.

Studies show that the absence of meaning in our work can trigger the same stress response as trauma, flooding the body with cortisol, suppressing the immune system, and eroding long-term health.

And it's not just individual stories.

Here in the United States, stress levels among workers have topped 50%,

the highest among all developed economies.

What's striking is that this isn't just about disengagement.

Gallup calls it the great detachment.

Unlike the Great Resignation, where people walked out of their jobs in record numbers, today, many are staying put, but they've checked out emotionally.

They feel stuck.

And when we feel stuck, our bodies and our minds pay the price.

But here's what's fascinating.

There's also a smaller group, a growing minority, who are thriving.

As Jen and Chris explained, these people see their work as meaningful.

They don't love every single task.

Let's face it, who does?

But they can connect what they do every single day with the purpose that they believe in.

And the benefits are enormous.

Not just higher performance, but better health, lower stress, even longer lives.

So the question is this.

What separates the majority who feel drained from their work from the minority who are fueled by it?

That question sits at the very heart of today's episode.

And really, it sits at the heart of Passion Struck itself and the research I've been doing, talking about, speaking about for more than a decade.

Because when you strip away the reports and statistics, isn't this really about something deeper?

It's about mattering.

Do I matter here?

Does what I do every single day matter to anyone else?

Does my work connect with a greater purpose that makes the sacrifices worthwhile?

Those aren't just career questions, they're human questions.

And when the answer is no, the cost ripples far beyond our jobs.

It touches our health, our relationships, and even the way we see ourselves.

I saw this play out firsthand at Catalina Marketing.

For years, the company was led by its founders, people who cared deeply about the company's mission, and more importantly, about the employees who carried it forward.

There was loyalty, belonging, a sense that what you did every day mattered.

But when a private equity group stepped in, the focus shifted almost overnight.

It wasn't about people or ideas anymore.

It was about valuation, about raising numbers on a spreadsheet.

And the culture that had made Catalina thrive began to unravel.

Retention fell, creativity dried up, and the sense of mattering.

was replaced by metrics.

And here's the thing.

It wasn't just bad for morale.

It was bad for wellness.

When you go from being valued to feeling like a cog in someone else's spreadsheet, it doesn't just change how you work.

It changes how you feel physically, emotionally, even spiritually.

This is why Passion Struck exists.

To remind you that you do matter, that your life is not random.

and that alignment between who you are and what you do is not a luxury.

It's the very foundation of resilience, wellness, and a life filled with intention.

And somewhere between thriving and miserable, there's a hidden divide that most of us cross without even realizing it.

That's the divide we're going to explore today.

Because the truth is, we've been having the wrong conversation.

It's not about employee engagement or disengagement.

It's about whether your work reflects your worth or erodes it.

So let's give this hidden divide a name.

I call it the fulfillment gap, the space between the work we do every day and the meaning we hope it brings into our lives.

On one side of the gap are the people who see their work as a calling.

They don't love every task, but they feel their effort matters.

Their work gives them energy, belonging, and a sense of contribution.

On the other side are those who feel stuck, drained, misaligned, where their jobs consumes their health and their time, but gives back very little in return.

And here's an important thing I want you to remember.

The fulfillment gap doesn't just stay at the office.

It follows you into your health, your relationships, and even into your sense of self.

When your work feels meaningless, your body knows it.

Chronic stress isn't just about long hours or tough deadlines.

It's about the inner conflict of doing something that doesn't align with who you are.

Gallup's reports show that disengaged employees show higher anxiety, stress, and even physical pain.

Other studies connect lack of meaning at work to elevated cortisol, higher risk of cardiovascular disease and hypertension.

and increased rates of depression, burnout, and even early stage mortality.

Why, you may ask?

Because when you feel trapped in work that clashes with your values, your nervous system never powers down.

It reads that mismatch as a threat.

So it keeps you on high alert, flooding your body with stress hormones day after day.

And over time, that constant activation becomes toxic.

But the fulfillment gap isn't just physiological.

It's also emotional.

Christopher Milkelson and Jennifer Tosti-Karis told me in our conversation that when work feels meaningless, people report resentment, hopelessness, and maybe the hardest of all, a sense of invisibility.

Think about that Sunday night dread, that sinking feeling before the week even begins, or the rise of quiet quitting, or what Gallup now calls the great detachment.

People aren't just doing less.

They're asking a deeper question.

Does any of this matter?

And here's the truth.

When mattering disappears, so does resilience.

Psychologists call this identity depletion.

If you're going to spend 80,000 hours of your life at work, but you can't see yourself in it, you start to feel invisible.

And that invisibility corrodes everything.

Your confidence, your relationships, even your ability to take care of yourself outside of work.

And let's not forget that the fulfillment gap doesn't just hurt individuals.

It drains organizations too.

Gallup estimates that disengagement and detachment cost the global economy more than $9 trillion every single year.

But the deeper cost is cultural.

When people don't feel like they matter, innovation slows, collaboration weakens.

Change efforts hit a wall of indifference.

It's why leaders like Teen Zhu, who you heard from yesterday, argue that building values-driven cultures isn't a luxury.

It's survival.

When work connects to purpose, people bring their full selves.

When it doesn't, your best talent disengages or quietly walks away.

I have seen both sides of this gap in my own life.

During my time in the Navy, the work was grueling.

Long deployments.

constant stress, lives on the line, but it was deeply aligned with purpose.

I knew why I was there, and that sense of service fueled me even on the hardest days.

Later in the corporate world, I experienced the opposite.

On the outside, promotion, recognition, success.

On the inside, man, I felt misalignment.

The further that my role drifted from what mattered most, the more my health, relationships, and energy suffered.

The gap grew wider, and eventually I had to make the difficult choice to step into the work that I'm doing now with Passion Struck that aligned with my deeper mission.

That's the paradox of the fulfillment gap.

You can be working harder than ever, climbing faster than ever, and it still feels like you're losing ground because the climb isn't aligned with the mountain you were meant to scale.

And here's why this conversation begins in a series on redefining wellness.

Because wellness isn't just about what happens when you go to the gym or what you cook in your kitchen.

It happens in the places where we spend most of our lives.

This is something so important I want you to take away.

Work is not separate from wellness.

Work is wellness or unwellness in disguise.

If your work fuels you, it becomes a wellspring of resilience and fulfillment.

If it drains you, no amount of going to the gym, eating well, or meditation can fully outweigh its cost.

And here's the scariest part.

Most people don't even realize that they've fallen into the fulfillment gap until their symptoms arise.

They show up in the form of illness, burnout, broken relationships, or that quiet sense that life is slipping away in meetings and moments that don't matter.

Take Julie B.

Rose.

On paper, she was living the dream, a journalist and media professional who was rubbing elbows with celebrities.

She was leading high-profile campaigns, serving as the face of a brand that had millions of followers.

On Instagram, her life looked like success.

But behind the curtain, Julie was drowning.

She cried in her boss's office.

She was belittled by executives.

Week after week after week, she felt like a failure.

And yet, she pushed forward, telling herself, this was just the price that you have to pay when you've made it.

Then came the layoff.

One email at 9.03 a.m.

ended her role and for a moment shattered her confidence.

She walked out of the building stunned, escorted like a criminal.

carrying her belongings under watchful eyes.

But here's where her story turns.

Instead of racing back into the grind, Julie did something important.

She paused.

She traveled.

She reconnected with family.

She asked the deeper questions about what she wanted from her work and her life.

And out of that pause came her blog, Julie the Vivre, a project born out of a passion for travel, writing, and helping others see their possibilities.

The layoff, she says, became a blessing.

It stripped away the illusion that her worth was tied to a title or an employer.

And in the space that loss created, she found something important.

She found purpose again.

Julie's story makes the fulfillment gap tangible.

On the outside, achievement.

On the inside, depletion.

And when the gap became undeniable, the way forward wasn't to work harder.

It was to redefine what work meant in the first place.

And let me pause here.

Have you ever had a job like that?

One that looked good from the outside, but left you feeling hollow on the inside?

Maybe you were like me and you smiled through meetings, hit deadlines, even celebrated promotions.

But deep down, you knew it was costing you more than it was giving.

If this resonates, you're not alone.

Julie's story is hers, but it's also ours.

Her journey mirrors what Jennifer Tosti-Karris and Christopher Wong Michelson told us earlier this week.

That burnout is often less about effort and hours and more about misalignment.

It echoes what Teen Zhu said yesterday about Zura.

When he built the company, he wasn't just building a product.

He was trying to build a culture, a place where people knew why their work mattered.

And when people can tether daily tasks to a mission, they're far less likely to end up where Julie did, overworked, undervalued, and hollowed out.

Julie's story is just one of millions of examples.

And as I've already explained, all the research and statistics show how far from rare this really is.

Behind all the numbers that Gallup and other institutions put out, there are millions of Julie's.

People chasing success.

only to find themselves depleted until they find a way to realign and become passion struck.

And that brings us to the heart of today's conversation.

Wellness at work isn't about perks, paychecks, or prestige.

It's about meaning.

Because without it, even a dream job can feel like a nightmare.

I know this firsthand.

But with it, even hard work can be sustaining.

And really, this is about mattering.

Julie didn't just need another job.

She needed to know that her work mattered, and so do you.

Julie's experience shows us something crucial.

Wellness at work isn't just about surviving.

It's about alignment.

It wasn't until she lost her job that she gained perspective on what work was costing her and more importantly, what it could actually give her.

Here's the truth.

You don't need to wait for a layoff, burnout, a health scare.

to begin the process of misalignment.

You can start today.

So you may be asking yourself the key question, how?

That's exactly where I want to turn now, to a framework that you can start using to close the fulfillment gap in your own life.

Think of it as a roadmap, checking where you are, choosing what matters, and making small but powerful shifts that bring your life and your career back into alignment with your purpose and your meaning.

Before we dive into that framework, I want to share something special with you that we've been working on for the past months.

Our Passion Struck merchandise is getting a full revamp, and it's more than just apparel.

It's about wearing the movement.

Every single design is meant to remind you and everyone around you that you matter, that your life has purpose, and that intentional living is something that you can embody every single day.

You can check out the new collection and be part of this new chapter by visiting theignitedlife.net.

Again, theignitedlife.net.

And now, a quick word from our sponsors.

Welcome back to Passion Struck.

Julie's story is such a powerful reminder of what happens when our work and our wellness fall out of alignment.

On the surface, everything looked like success, the kind of job in life most people would envy.

But underneath, the cost were mounting.

The stress, the burnout, the loss of joy.

And in the end, her misalignment forced a breaking point.

But here's the beauty.

It also opened a door because once she stepped out of that environment, she discovered something that we all need to hear.

Your work does not define your worth.

And when you begin to realign your work with your values, renewal is possible.

So here's the question I want to leave you with.

as we begin to enter the next part.

How do you bridge that space yourself without waiting for a crisis or a layoff to force the change?

That's exactly what I want to explore now.

I call this process a four-step progression.

Audit, align, adjust, advance.

The first step is awareness, because here's the truth.

We can't change what we don't name.

So let me ask you this.

Is your work worth the health?

it's costing you.

Here's how you can find out through a simple exercise I'd like you to try.

Stop what you're doing right now and grab a piece of paper.

Or if you're driving, just imagine it in your mind right now.

Draw a line down the middle of the page.

On one side, write your energy gains, the tasks, the interactions, the moments that leave you feeling energized, fully alive, fulfilled.

On the other side, write your energy drains.

the things that leave you feeling depleted, cynical, and physically exhausted.

Now, notice something.

When you start filling this in, something powerful happens.

You start to see the hidden exchanges that you're making every single day.

You realize you're not just trading time for money, you're trading energy for meaning.

And if the cost outweigh the gains, your body and your mind will eventually send you the bill.

So here's my challenge for you today.

Tonight, before you close out your day, take five minutes if you haven't already and actually do this exercise.

Don't overthink it just right.

You might be surprised at what actually shows up.

And once you've taken that inventory of your energy, the next step is alignment.

Ask yourself, does my work reflect what I value most?

Meaningful work isn't about perks or titles.

It's about resonance.

So let me give you a simple practice.

Write down two or three values that matter most to you right now.

Maybe it's integrity.

maybe it's creativity, maybe it's family time, maybe it's growth.

Then hold up those values to the work that you're doing every single day.

Where do you see the harmony?

And where do you see the dissonance?

Because here's the thing.

The gap between what you value and what you're asked to do is the very space where burnout lives.

Alignment is not just a nice to have.

It's the difference between thriving and wilting.

And this leads us to the step where most people get stuck, adjusting.

They think that fulfillment means burning everything down, quitting their job, reinventing their life overnight.

And sometimes it does, but often it starts much smaller.

Here's what I mean by that.

Start by reframing tasks.

Ask yourself, how does this connect?

even in a small way, to my bigger purpose.

Protect your energy.

Renegate boundaries where you can.

Learn to say no to the drains that are keeping you from living the life that you want, because every no is actually a yes to your health and your sanity.

Seek contribution.

Volunteer for projects that light you up.

Lean into the parts of your work where your hidden strengths come alive.

These micro shifts might seem small, but over time, like tiny drops of water that carve a canyon, they reshape the landscape of your work and your life.

And then finally, advance.

This is all about momentum.

Ask yourself, what's one long-term, courageous move that I can make towards deeper alignment?

It doesn't have to be a leap.

This might just be enrolling in a class that opens new doors, having a candid conversation with your manager about evolving your role, exploring a side project or an entrepreneurial idea, or maybe it's a simple redefining of what success looks like for you.

The point isn't to blow everything up.

The point is to move forward.

Each step, no matter how small, closes the gap between the work that you do and the life that you want.

And the truth is, work is always going to ask something of you.

The choice is whether it costs you your health and your identity or contributes to them.

By auditing, aligning, adjusting, and advancing, you reclaim not just your work, but your wellness.

Because fulfillment isn't hiding in a job description.

It's built in the alignment between who you are and how you show up each and every day.

And you know what?

One of the biggest barriers to closing the fulfillment gap isn't work itself.

It's the stories we tell ourselves about work.

Take this one.

Meaningful work is a luxury.

We've all heard it, that purpose is something that you get if you're lucky, or if you've made it into some privileged, secure space.

But research shows the opposite.

Purpose isn't a perk.

It's a health imperative.

Lower stress, better immune function, even longer lives.

Meaning isn't an extra.

It's central to our survival.

Then there's another story we quietly accept.

You have to quit your job.

to find purpose.

And sure, sometimes leaving is the right call, but more often, it's not about walking away.

It's about realigning.

Sometimes that means reframing the role you're in already, carving out space for your strengths, or reconnecting with the mission behind what you do.

Small shifts can be just as powerful as big leaps.

And finally, maybe the most seductive story of them all.

Purpose is just about passion.

Follow your passion, they say.

but passion alone is incomplete.

Real purpose comes from contribution.

It comes from alignment and growth.

It's about knowing that your work matters, that it resonates with your values, that it stretches you into your potential.

Passion is fuel.

Yes, this podcast is called Passion Struck, but alignment is the engine.

So here's the truth behind today's entire episode.

Meaningful work isn't rare.

It isn't reserved for the lucky few.

It's available anywhere where alignment, connection, contribution, and growth intersect.

And here's my invitation to you this week.

Pick one way to realign your work with meaning and one thing to stop that drains your health.

Maybe it's reframing a task through the lens of your values.

Maybe it's saying no to something that's quietly been eroding you.

Maybe it's reaching out to a friend or a colleague.

or reconnecting to the bigger purpose behind what you're building.

Make it small.

Make it specific.

And above all else, make it yours.

Because wellness is all about the meaning you give away every single day.

And when you start to reclaim that meaning, you begin to reclaim your health from the inside out.

So that's the challenge.

One step, one small intentional choice to bring your work back into alignment with your health and your purpose.

Because remember, it's not about overhauling everything overnight.

It's about closing the gap little by little until your daily work sustains you instead of depleting you.

That is what this entire series is about.

Healing from the inside out by quietly closing the gaps that erode our wellness.

I started this series off by discussing the wellness gap.

We then went into fuel, where I explored the absorption gap.

And last week, we looked at feel, where I talked about the exhaustion gap.

And today, we explored the fulfillment gap, that deep, deep need to know that your work matters.

And I will tell you, this isn't just theory for me.

I've wrestled with all of these questions in my own life.

I have lived this in the Navy, in my corporate life, and now as I build Passion Struck.

The difference between misalignment and mattering.

isn't abstract.

It shapes your health, your energy, your relationships, literally everything, which is why I am so excited about what's coming next.

In our next episode, I sit down with Jody Blenco, who brings a powerful perspective on how to reframe struggle and redefine strength in the face of life's most overwhelming challenges.

It's a conversation about healing, about resilience, and ultimately about flow, the soul-level integration.

of your values, your identity, and your legacy.

You won't want to miss it.

I think we can all relate to knowing what it feels like when you have to look in the mirror or look at that stuck point and say, oh, I really don't like the way that feels.

I really don't like that I've done that or have said that, or that's the pattern that I'm in.

I think we look at that from a place of judgment.

And so that creates a whole host of feelings that go with that, whether we feel disappointed in ourselves, we feel shame, guilt, which I think is also very common.

And so it's easier to stay in that stuck point when we don't pull it out, look at it, and address it.

We just push it away.

If today's episode resonated with you, I'd love for you to share it with family and friends who might need this reminder.

And if you haven't already, hit the subscribe button.

Make sure to follow Passionstruck on Instagram, on TikTok, and sign up for our YouTube at John R.

Miles and our Clips channel at Passionstruck Clips so you'd never miss a moment what's coming next.

Until then, remember this, your work does not define your worth.

You do.

Choose to live with intention because you are passionstruck.