When Vaginas Attack!

Hi, I'm Wendy Zuckerman, and you're listening to Science Versus today on the show, Animal Sex. Why so much that we've been taught about it is wrong.

The story that seems to have stuck in our heads about how animals have sex is that the male, with their spear-like willy, plunges into a passive vagina.

But it turns out that the truth is so much more complicated and so much more fun.

So, to tell us all about this, is Dr. Tiana Purdle at the University of Tasmania.
Hi. Hi, thanks for having me.

And you should really watch this on video, which you can if you're looking, if you're watching this on Spotify, because Tiana brought props. Yes.
What's in the box?

Well, this very, very special box is full of different animal vaginas.

Animal vaginas. I may require a stabby implement.
Yes. Not a penis.

To open

the box. Oh my gosh.
I've never been sent a box with animal vaginas. Oops, and I might have just destroyed your pencil or your pen a little bit.
That's fine.

That's what today's episode's all about, isn't it? Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's coming out? What's going on? Who we got here? Well, meet the family.
Yes. Let's see.

We've got the alpaca, common dolphin, couple rattlesnakes,

dogfish shark, harbor porpoise, and a domestic duck. Amazing.
Oh my God. Okay, so wait, how, wait, that looks like a penis.
How is this a vagina?

So these are all the internal negative space inside the vaginas. So how did they make them? So how these got made was

an animal died and the vagina was was excised from the body and then filled with a silicone. So it created this mold of what is inside.

The space that would be inside. Okay, yes, yes, that makes sense.
So the penis is going inside. So this is inside.
Yes. Uh-huh.

So there's some animals with multiple vaginas, some with corkscrews, vaginal folds, long and thin ones.

Thicker, fatter ones. The array of vaginas in front of me.
The story is clear that both males and females were allowed to participate in the evolutionary arms race.

And I'm so excited for you to tell us all about it after the break.

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Welcome back today on the show, the wonderful world of animal vaginas. And we're here with Dr.
Tiana Purdle. So, welcome back.
Let's start from the beginning for you.

So, you were in the middle of a PhD studying evolutionary theories, and you started noticing something a bit frustrating in some of the papers that you were reading.

I just noticed there was quite a difference in the way male animals and female animals were described, especially in terms of reproductive behavior and evolutionary strategies.

The males are often described as these very active players.

They're coercing, manipulating, harassing.

And females, on the other hand, are described in very passive terminology.

They're responding, reacting, even

like adaptation is what males do, and counter-adaptations are what females do. Wait, what do you mean by that?

So the male is adapting all these strategies, and she's only relevant compared to what he's doing. And yes, there's an empirical bias in the way Western science has treated female animals.

starting with Darwin, but extending even before that. So tell me about that.
Yeah, when did this bias begin?

Well, Aristotle, in fact, has described males as active and females as passive. So it extends all the way back to then.

But it really was solidified by Darwin. He was developing his theory of sexual selection.
And sexual selection is the struggle for mates, essentially, in how animals get mates.

And he was developing his theory during Victorian England, which, as we all know, had some very pernicious views on women and their role in society.

And that really

formed the foundation for how Darwin viewed female animals, describing them as coy and chaste. And the thought that an animal, a female

animal couldn't be promiscuous was unacceptable. So they just ignored any sort of examples that would suggest otherwise.

And it really, A, gave scientific credence to

the patriarchy, but also kind of set Western science on this trajectory of focusing on the males.

They're doing the interesting things, evolving weaponry and behaviors and tactics, cool feathers, and cool penises. Yes.

And the females, on the other hand, are just in the sidelines, waiting for the males to do their thing and then working themselves around what the males decide. decide.

And the reality is, is that's not true at all. Okay, so you're reading about all of this, feeling scandalized, frustrated.

How would we describe your emotions as you're kind of reckoning with this bias in science?

I suppose as you train in science, you're kind of given this line that science is objective.

We all like to think we're objective observers of the world and we're testing theories in an objective manner. But the reality is, is science is very biased.

So these models all came from Dr.

Patricia Brennan in the US, who's a phenomenal researcher and has made it her life mission to categorize as many animal vaginas as possible because the line that we often think about when it comes to penises and vaginas is that the penis is doing the thrusting, the ejaculating, and the vagina is just a passive tube sitting there ready to catch the penis and let the sperms go where they need to go.

But that's not even remotely the case. And they're very diverse in function and form.

Let's jump in. Let's jump.
Okay, so let's start with the duck. Yes, the duck is the classic example.
And this is actually, I think, the vagina that launched a thousand ships. That

Patricia Brennan's line of research started from the duck vagina. From the duck.
So this is the duck vagina and you can see it's corkscrewed. Do you feel like you're on a game show?

It's corkscrewed. Okay, yes.
Let me look at this. Okay, so science first understood not the duck vagina, but the duck penis.
Yes, so what does the duck penis look like?

Male ducks are quite unusual in the bird world. And they have penises.
So most birds have cloaca, which are just like multi-orifice holes or multi-purpose holes, and they do a cloacial kiss.

So the birds just rub it together, transfer the little sperm, and flutter off. But ducks have these giant, fleshy, corkscrew organs that explode out of their body.
Really? Yes.

And it explodes inside her. It's like,

it's

impressive to observe.

And

like most animals, we've known what the penis looks like for a while. And no one thought to even look at what the vagina might look like that would handle a penis like that.
Yes.

So the male's penis is corkscrewed. Well, the vagina is also corkscrewed.
And there's some like little side pockets, like some flaps. Pockets and stuff.
And you have the vagina. Wow.
Yes.

So why does it have all these...

The amazing thing is it's corkscrewed in the opposite direction of the penis.

So for a long time, and for some animal species, you think the penis and the vagina fit together, like the lock and key hypothesis. Yes.

But this seems to be a vagina that's evolved to not accept the penis, and that's exactly what it can do. So male ducks can be quite coercive, to use a term that's often used to describe male animals.

And the sex ratios tend to be skewed. There's more males than females, and I'll explain why in a second.

And that means that not every male gets a female partner for the seasons. So the males that don't form these little bachelor gangs roving around looking for some females.

And when they find one, they jump on her and force themselves on her. And that's why sex ratios can be skewed is that some females end up being killed in this process or harmed.
Right.

There's pieces exploding everywhere. The female can't really do much about it on the outside, but she has her secret weapon, which is her vagina.

And if the female doesn't want the penises that are exploding at her, she can shift her body around so that the penis tips go into these little side pockets formed by the corkscrew.

Or in some species, she can squeeze the muscles around and just fully expel the penis.

So, and it, and it works remarkably well.

So in some duck species, about 40% of the matings a female will experience are these forced matings right but only two to five percent of the ducklings are fathered by those so of all the matings that she's having up to 40 percent of them in some species in some species are these forced um

uh these sort of gangs of of bachelor domes

but then when you look at who's actually fathering the ducklings, it's it's only two to five percent only two to five percent of the ducklings are coming from those. Wow.

So the rest are from mates that were more consensual, that she was. Yeah, well, or the partner she's chosen for that season or other males she's gone out to solicit matings from.
How interesting.

And so without science having been able to know who was actually fathering these ducklings, you could see why this story would persist.

Yeah, it's a great example of, you know, when you only tell, look at half the story, you only get half the story. It's funny.
I'm still hearing that males are the coercive, violent ones. Yes.
Yes.

So it's not an untrue storyline, but there's females like hyenas are a great example of a female that kind of flips that story. So female hyenas are bigger, more aggressive, dominate the society.

And they also have these giant eight-inch long clitorises that work like a pseudo-penis. They look like, they look exactly like the male's penis.
They even have fused labia that look like testicles.

Oh, wow.

But there's no sperm inside. No, no, no, no.
That's just the fused labia that looks like it.

And

for a long time, actually, scientists really struggled to figure out what was going on with hyenas because they thought there were only males out there.

But the female genitalia looks remarkably like the male.

And they use these pseudo-penises in dominance displays, greeting rituals, but it also gives them a very high degree over who's mating with them because it's like two socks, I guess, trying to push into each other.

If they're full, they don't go in. So basically, the female has to allow the male to mate with her.

It's like I've heard it described as kind of like inverting a sock, like gets pushed and she relaxes it, and the penis gets to push in there. Oh, wow.

But it gives her full control over what's going on. So is there a downside to this amazing control? Funny you say that.
Right. This amazing control does come at a cost.

So they'll urinate through the pseudopenis. They use it in their dominance displays.
They make through it, but they also have to give birth through it.

And it's been described as pushing a cantaloupe through garden hose.

So it comes at a very high control. I'm clenching.
I'm clenching.

Yes, the pup has to rip through the pseudopenis. Wow.

Okay.

After the break, we're going to learn learn about one creature that has a genital shield.

I think it's my favorite, actually. It's coming up.

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Welcome back today on the show. Dr.
Tiana Purdle is walking us through vaginas of the animal kingdom. It's really an evolutionary battle between

both vaginas and penises, which when you think about evolution, is that is how obviously it worked, right? It doesn't really make sense that only one would be evolving.

Yeah, and also it makes sense that they wouldn't necessarily be evolving in the same direction together always.

Obviously, both males and females want to reproduce, but females have to invest a bit more resources, time and energy into reproduction relative to males.

And that's where you get the sexual conflict where the males and the females' interests don't always align.

So

that's why you get some of these wild,

wild tactics and

different physiology, morphology, and behaviors.

So tell me how the water strider publishes this. The water strider is

a great story of kind of sexual conflict, evolutionary arms race in action.

So, water strutters are bugs that sit on top of the ponds and water. The females have these genital shields.
So, and I do have a model of this, but unfortunately, didn't make it on the other.

You can't fly with that sort of weaponry.

But she's got her overpositor that sits inside of her abdomen.

And then the overpositor. The overpositor where the eggs go.
Yeah.

And if she wants to mate,

she will

push it out and it kind of opens, and the male can deliver the sperm. But if it's in this position, there's no chance the male gets to mate with her.
If it's closed up, it's closed.

So the female has evolved this morphology that gives her full control over who's mating with her. She has full say over who's going to father her offspring.

But the males have evolved this counter strategy.

And historically, it would have been described the other way around.

Oh, of course, right.

Generally.

But so the male can't mate with female unless she is fully on board. Open for business.
So the male's response strategy is he will,

to use those, those terms that we said are often describing males.

He will threaten her by, he sits on top of her and taps the water, and that will alert all the predators

in the water. Right.
And the predators will come up. And because the female's on the bottom, she has a higher chance of getting eaten.

So he'll just sit there. She can't fly away because he's sitting on her.
And he'll just tap, do this little threatening tap dance until she either opens her ovipositor, gets eaten, or they both leave.

Wow.

What a strategy. The insect world is really fascinating when it comes to genitals and insects where the females have the penis.

Well, we would call it a gynosome, but it would be what we think of as a penis. And the male has the receiving organ.

Okay. Yes.
There's many ways to be a male and a female. So

there's a couple more animals I want to go through.

One, so far, we've just been talking about generally one vagina. But there are animals with two.

Yes.

In fact, there are many animals with two.

So this is the rattlesnake. So you can see there's two of them.

Two vaginas, two uterus. Which one can be fertilized?

The males have two-pronged penis, the hemipenes. So they use them both at the same time.
The hemipenes. And either one can shoot out sperm.

And then they have the two vaginas, two uterus. So

clitoris? Yes.

Hemi clitoris. Hemiclitoris is what it's called in snakes.
Uh-huh. Does it give pleasure? Hemi-pen.

So there's been remarkably little research about clitorises,

which is remarkable because all mammals definitely have one. And I'm pretty sure.
Pretty much all vertebrates have one as well.

And we don't really know what they do

for these animals, but presumably they play an important role in reproduction. Because otherwise that's a big lot of wasted energy for evolution.

So tell me the evolutionary arms race going on with these snakes. Okay, well, so snakes, these

rattlesnakes,

they reproduce quite slowly.

They're long-lived, slow-growing animals. So I believe they don't become sexually mature until they're about 13.
Okay. And they also don't produce very many clutches.

So what these snakes do and a lot of other species in the animal queendom do is they'll store sperm.

So these guys have like a special organ that will store the sperm

over winter for years even.

I believe

there's a tortoise or a turtle that stored sperm for four years

and then produced a clutch from it. Wow, they've got like a little IVF fridge in there.

These snakes, they'll go around and mate with the males they come across. They can be quite indiscriminate because they can keep all the sperm they find and deal with it later.

That is amazing. They could store it for that long.

Yes, and then

there's some evidence to suggest that snakes, alligators, sharks, all these species that are storing sperm can then select which sperm to use for which clutch.

And we don't exactly know how they're doing this, but there's quite a complex dialogue happening between the sperm and the vagina environment.

So the female will mate with a bunch of different males, store the sperm, and then

we think when she releases an egg, she'll somehow, using the word choose generously, but she'll somehow be like, all right, well, for this egg,

we really want this sperm. We want this sperm.
Well, in the ejaculate, you have quite a diverse range of sperms. This sperm has crappy genetics.
We're not going to choose that one. Oh, this one.

It's got great receptors on the outside.

We're going to help this one go forward. Interesting.
And you'll be the one to fertilize my eggs, and that'll increase my baby's chance of survival. Amazing.
So, clearly, some animals have evolved

these bells and whistles, these sperm storage facilities.

Corkscrews. Corkscrew.
Vaginal folds. Yes.
And like... Genital shields.
No shade to my vagina or anyone else listening, but it's pretty cut and dry as far as I'm concerned.

And the alpaca, not throwing it under the bridge, but like also just kind of looks like a tube. Yeah.
Why is it that? Which, you know, I do still love it though. It's one of my favorites.

It's very regal looking, isn't it? It is very regal.

It's just like a very long tube. Coincides with a very long, thin penis.
I could only imagine. This vagina does many amazing things still.
Tell me about the alpaca.

What's happening here? So

this vagina

is

punctured by a very long penis that has a little hook on the end of it. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

What does the alpaca penis look like?

Terrifying. It's long and thin, and it has a collagenous hook on the bottom.

And alpaca are quite unusual in the mammal world in that the, so most penises stay in the vagina, deposit the sperm within the vaginal canal. Yes.

The cervix will often kind of function as a bit of a...

a quality control checkpoint, and the sperm have to make it through the cervix. The vaginal of the cervix.
Whereas for these guys,

the penis punctures through, the little hook pokes through the cervix and deposits the sperm straight into the uterus. Ooh, okay.

Does feel a fitness. Which is,

if I'm gunning for the male alpaca,

good strategy, I would say. Good work, evolution.

And, you know, this is potentially because male alpaca is what we call dribble ejaculators. Hello now.
Dribble ejaculators. So the ejaculate dribbles out very slowly.

So mating can take up to an hour in alpacas. It's like anywhere from 20 to 60 minutes.

And it happens in a very

reclined repose. The female opaque will sit on the ground.
The male will get on top of her and sometimes she'll lay down on her side.

Have a nap.

Wait for him to finish his job. And so

other species, the ejaculate comes out with force. Yeah, familiar with those species.
Yeah, yeah. So, you know, it needs a little bit of force to get through the cervix.

Whereas I guess, you know, if you're dribbling, you might as well put it where it needs to go.

Of course, that makes sense. I guess

this nondescript normal vagina

can look the way it does because the female has a high degree of control behaviorally. So, if she's not intimating, she'll just stand up and walk away.

Or if she doesn't want it in the first place, she just won't lay down.

So, she hasn't necessarily needed to evolve all these fancy bells and whistles to stop sperm from getting to where she doesn't want it to go. Because she can just get up and leave.

Oh, that's so interesting.

So we find that in the animals, like to go back to the dark, where it is more forcible and the males are really coercing that sexual behavior, then you have to evolve a vagina that can handle that, that can sneakily handle it.

Well, that will give you the final say. Right.
But with some animals like alpacas,

the sort of evolutionary arms race actually comes from the behavior

yeah that you can just walk away i'm done with this tribal so it is interesting we do often see as as you've talked about at the at the beginning of the show you know we often see sex as this battle where the slutty male is fighting to impregnate like but it's never described as slutty for the male like promiscuous is used for females that mate multiple times but the male is just multiple matings Oh, right.

The male is just being a male. We've had this since Darwin, this very narrow view of what a female should should and shouldn't be.

You know, monogamous was the word that Darwin used to describe females.

Coy, passive, chaste, loyal, dutiful mothers.

But that's not what we see in the animal kingdom. Also, we haven't even touched on this.
You know, homosexuality and homosexual behaviors in animals. Very common.
And there's...

many different ways to reproduce and be a male and a female in the world.

And I think appreciating that diversity in the animal world will hopefully help us appreciate that diversity in the human world. That's right.

Where we're just, there's so much diversity within species, let alone amongst species. Yeah, yeah.
And yeah.

The patriarchy has had scientific credence for too long. from this very narrow view of males and females and reproductions.

So when you look at all these rainbow vaginas, this just rainbow of vaginas, do you have a favorite?

Can you choose amongst your children ah i mean it's it's hard i mean i do love the alpaca one because it's just very regal it stands taller than all the rest

um but uh i i say yeah the duck is one of my favorites as well just because i love that story um

of you know the secret weapon vagina and the female has the last laugh. Mm-hmm.
So you have this show, vaginal vignettes. Vaginal vignettes?

It's had many different names over the years, but this year was the, yeah, vaginal vignettes. Vaginal vignettes, where you showcase all of these amazing vaginas.

What's been the best reaction you've gotten so far? They've all been the greatest reaction. What do they say about it? Love it.

I've had a lot of women come up.

I'm so glad to hear this story. It just makes me so much happier to have a vagina myself.
You made them happier that they had a vagina? That's huge. You are changing lives, Gianna.

One vagina at a time. One vagina at a time.
Yeah, it's again,

gives people

insight into how diverse being female is. Thank you so much for your time.
Thank you. If you haven't been watching this video, you can find it on Spotify, also on Instagram and TikTok.

We're going to put little snippets of this video up so you can see these fabulous model vaginas. We're on science underscore VS, that's us on Instagram, and on TikTok, I'm Wendy Zuckerman.

So I'm Wendy Zuckerman, and I'll fact you next time.

And just

you look like you just won the old screen.

Thank you. Thank you.

You don't know how much this means to me.