Wisteria Lodge - Part Two

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Previously on Sherlock and Co.

We found a.

well, what looks...

looks like a body

of a person.

It's...

It's smashed to pieces.

Almost.

It's almost unrecognizable.

Hi.

Uh...

James?

Sorry?

Are you our professor?

I have you down for an 11 o'clock.

No, apologies.

I haven't made an appointment.

Oh, you haven't?

Is there time?

Something rather peculiar has taken place, and I'd I'd very much like to discuss it.

You went undercover.

That's correct.

I befriended Ali Garcia a couple of years ago.

I finally get an invite to his house in Isha.

Wisteria Lodge.

Quite the property, incredible grounds.

He has no comprehension that you are an undercover agent for a government task force.

Absolutely certain, yes.

He arranged for me to stay in the mansion.

and dine with his friend.

Casual but underwhelming dinner, then off to bed.

That's when the peculiarities began.

Anyway, I go to bed.

I don't set an alarm, as I was told the staff go around and wake you with a nice coffee.

And Ali himself even woke me by mistake at 1 a.m., as he forgot I was there.

Morning comes, and there I was, in this grand old bedchamber.

I look at the little digital alarm clock next to my bed.

It's nearly 9 a.m.

I hopped hopped out of bed, quickly chucked on some clothes, and I...

I couldn't find a single soul.

Inspector Baines, Surrey Constabulary.

Good to meet you.

We have a number of missing gentlemen.

All of Syrian statehood, kind of internationalists.

All got connections across Europe and Asia.

Very much the upper crust of Damascus, I'd say.

But to narrow down on the problematic area, the person that concerns me the most is the the homeowner

garcia does he now let me show you why mr holmes i fail to see why this calendar incriminates ali garcia other events scheduled in the calendar are all these vague ambiguous meetings and dates and appointments

the only one with real substance is that of hosting mr eccles

a man who is working with the crown prosecution service exactly garcia wanted the authorities to know that he was with Mr.

Eccles,

with a man that would not lie.

A man that would report back the truth.

Have we found Garcia's victim?

We have not, Mr.

Holmes.

Oh,

oh, oh.

Oh my god.

Oh, no.

No.

We haven't found Garcia's victim.

We found Garcia.

He's

obliterated.

I know.

Yes.

This is grotesque.

There's another body.

God in heaven.

Oh my god, they're everywhere.

It's as if

they've fallen out of the sky.

Hey there, it's the podcast, man.

That's me.

Welcome back to the adventure of Wisteria Lodge.

You're on part two out of three.

It's it's grim out there, not gonna lie.

Gore

and bleakness aplenty.

So you've been warned.

Hey, you okay?

Yeah, yeah.

Sorry, that's just um that's like

really disturbing.

Yeah,

not what I expected to see on a country walk in Surrey.

What the hell happened to those guys?

I don't.

I don't know.

I don't really, um.

Yeah, I d I don't understand.

How many have been found?

Three.

Three three guys?

All in different places?

Yeah, kind of.

dotted around.

This is crazy.

Hey, how are we feeling, Mariana?

Better.

Go back to the cabin.

Make her a tea with sugar in it.

Yeah, we'll do.

I don't like sweet tea.

Well, your blood sugar.

We'll appreciate it.

What are you thinking, mate?

It's all a bit unexpected, this, isn't it?

I'm thinking many things.

Right.

Yeah, it.

Anything in particular?

Something happened.

Yeah, I see that.

Something happened at 7,000 feet.

At 7,000 feet.

I must speak with Baines.

Ugh.

Baines.

Yeah, off he goes.

Go speak with Baines.

We're his colleagues, for goodness sake, ask us.

It makes me sick.

Mm-hmm.

Yep, me too.

You finally agree.

I'm gonna throw up.

Well, I mean, I wouldn't go that far, but it's just so

I'm gonna throw.

Oh, God.

Feeling better?

Oh, as long as I don't have to look at your breakfast, I am.

What's wrong with my breakfast?

Oh, the the meat, the beans,

the eggs.

You are just naming delicious things.

The blood sausage.

Black pudding.

Yes.

Look, I am happy with my breakfast choice.

Thank you very much.

Much better than avocado toast.

That was good avocado toast, too, by the way.

Yeah, of course it was.

We're in Surrey.

Which is why I I wanted to try one of the nice cafes on the high street.

But no.

No, we had to go to the park.

You're making it sound like I forced you in here.

You basically did?

Yeah, to get you to eat so you'd feel better.

Oh, so selfless.

I'll eat your pomegranate and cress.

Or whatever that is on the side.

So

does that not bother you?

Does what not bother me?

That.

The.

Oh, God.

The blood, the.

just the.

Ugh.

No.

No.

Honestly, it's one of my favorite things.

I...

What?

Yeah, love it.

Don't know why.

Are you serious?

What the hell is wrong with you?

It's not like it's unusual.

Lots of people like it.

Lots of people like it?

What?

Like...

In the military?

Uh, yeah, probably.

Is that why you did that job?

I...

Oh.

God, this is disgusting.

Mariana, it's not disgusting.

It totally is disgusting, John.

You're...

I...

I don't know what to say.

You're grotesque.

Grotesque?

It's just blood.

Oh, my God, honestly.

Soaked into oats and wrapped in a sausage.

I mean, we eat meat.

Why not blood?

Oh, eat the cow's ass, but no, don't eat black pudding.

Come on.

I...

I hate you.

What?

I hate you

so much.

Why?

I was talking about the bodies in the field, you idiot.

Not the stupid black pudding.

Oh,

right.

I just moved out of 221A, emotionally for a second then.

Oh my god.

You moved out?

I pictured myself doing it.

Yes.

Because you thought I was excited by corpses.

Well, yes, obviously, I would move out.

I

sorry.

It's okay.

I mean, I don't know what I'm saying sorry for, but yeah.

You can finish your breakfast.

It is fine.

I, um,

I don't really feel like it, though.

Hello.

Oh, hi.

Welcome.

Take a seat.

We're just coming to the realization that I'm not a psychopath.

Oh, that's good.

I like the lighting in here.

Of course you would.

It's a dark pub.

Where's Bains?

Who cares?

Will you grow up?

He's a good investigator.

Good is an understatement.

He's back at Wisteria Lodge going through Garcia's personal effects.

And that's allowed now, what with him being confirmed dead?

Correct.

So, how do we figure this out?

The guy that had an alibi in place to do something bad, probably kill someone at 1am, ends up dead himself.

Dead.

Yes.

And pretty emphatically dead, too.

Yes, quite.

We suspect the time of death was midnight.

Hmm, which will come as a surprise to Eccles, as he believes he saw Garcia at 1am.

Indeed.

Allow me to hypothesize for a moment.

No, please do.

Hey.

This baked bean here.

Okay, great, thanks.

That is the body of Ali Garcia in a crop crop field in Surrey.

Mm-hmm.

Let me just squish it.

Oh, oh, come on.

And this egg is Bysteria Lodge.

Where are you going with this?

That's good, Mariana.

But the question, in fact, is: where was he going?

And the answer is this.

Sausage.

The answer is a sausage.

No, not the sausage.

The black pudding.

Which represents London.

Oh, sir.

Look at the locations.

Wait, what's the bacon?

The bacon is irrelevant.

It's just bacon.

Right, sorry.

And the mushrooms?

Just eyes on the positioning for now.

Wisteria Lodge here.

Garcia and his comrades here.

London here.

Sorry, you've only got one squished bean.

Just focus on the positions, for God's sake.

They were moving northeast.

Yes, they were moving northeast towards London.

Right, so they were heading to London.

Fine, but Sherlock.

What?

They exploded in a field in the middle of nowhere.

Heading to London isn't the weird bit.

The

mush of human remains scattered across a farmer's land is the weird bit.

Oh.

Oh, wait.

What if, right, a farmer, bent on revenge, mowed down Garcia and his mates with their Combine Harvester?

Yeah, the bodies get pulled in and go

and then they're like, ah, no, no, no, no, and then it's like sprrrrh out the back of it.

You need to remove that from the final episode.

Why?

Because it's one of the stupidest things you've ever said, and I'm trying to protect you from the bad reviews and emails.

How, exactly?

Never mind the bloodthirsty farmer mowing down Syrian exiles.

It's the spring.

A combine harvester wouldn't be in use until late September.

Ah, fine, right.

So they just randomly exploded then.

Yeah, that's normal.

Exploded?

Not quite.

As I said before, they fell from the sky.

Oh, right, yeah, of course.

Of course, falling from the sky.

Did we manage to recover Icarus's body as well, did we?

They were on their way to London.

What?

To kill someone.

To commit an act that would take place at 1am.

Most likely murder, yes.

Mr.

Eccled's apparent 1am interaction with the killer would provide the perfect alibi.

Garcia is an exile, don't forget that.

The regime that expelled him now flee themselves.

Somebody on his hit list is in London.

Listen, I know we're in a pub, and it's easy to get carried away chatting in a dark corner.

Believe me, I've done it plenty of times.

But what are you talking about?

How did they fall from the sky, Sherlock?

And why is the apparent hit team dead?

Now, why isn't their target dead?

It's not usually how it works, is it?

No, it is not.

Because something

went wrong.

Stop squashing the beams.

We get it.

Hello.

Baines.

Inspector Baines?

Are you still here?

Oh, what a shame he's not here.

He should be.

Police should have this place locked down.

Inspector Baines.

Inspector Baines.

There's a police car outside.

Just...

Can we relax?

This is the countryside.

You know, it's not going to be swarming with CSI and SWAT.

Well, it should be.

Says you.

What crime exactly are they drawing all these imaginary resources out here for?

Huh?

The crime of ditching your annoying house guest?

Watson, there is a storm of international conflict and corruption raging.

It may not feel that way to you, but that is merely because we are stationary, in the eye of it.

The stillness of a leafy patch of surrey.

Yet titanic forces shift around us in a vortex.

Hey, I think I see somebody.

Hey, excuse me.

Ah, yeah.

Hi there.

This is an active investigation.

Yes, and we wish to activate it a little further.

Where is Inspector Baines?

Bens is at the station.

Could you radio for him, please?

Officer.

Henderson.

Officer Henderson, thank you.

Are you going to radio for him?

It's in the patrol car, the radio, so.

Well, go and get it.

I don't intend to leave you unattended in the property, sir.

For goodness sake.

This is like one of those fox chicken grain things, isn't it?

Where you can't leave because you'll leave us in the house sort of thing.

Yeah, look, alright, look, we can stay right here.

If that

makes life easier, we'll be right back.

No worries.

Who are you calling?

Inspector Baines, tell him Josh sends his best.

Hello, Mr.

Eccles.

It's Sherlock Holmes.

Hi.

How is it?

What's the latest?

I'm sorry to inform you your target and, I suppose,

friend, Ali Garcia, is dead, Mr.

Eccles.

Oh, good lord.

And the two associates.

They are

The names?

Dara Amin and Amar el-Nabek.

Did you hear that?

Yes.

That's the men that he had with him.

They were there that night.

Correct.

And you saw no one else?

No one.

Well,

apart from the staff.

Did you get their names?

I did not.

I need you to do something for me.

Speak with people on the task force about Garcia.

Who is responsible for his expulsion from his homeland ten years ago?

Right.

But you think they're here in the UK?

Those that created the refugees have become refugees themselves, Mr.

Eccles.

Since the regime has fallen, a key operator within it has clearly found his way to London.

Clearly.

Garcia was on his way to kill them, and he planned on doing so at 1am.

1am?

Impossible.

I saw him, man.

No, you didn't.

Find me his target.

Find me his target.

Very good.

Very stern.

Yeah, I like it.

Eccles will get us answers.

And we'll have this wrapped up before the afternoon.

Fab.

Or

we could expedite matters ourselves.

Oh, okay.

And how exactly are we supposed to find former Syrian and government officials?

That have fled the country from retribution.

Especially seeing as we're stuck out here in Surrey.

Stuck?

In his house?

Come.

But the officer will be back soon.

He said we'd wait here.

But he's only Junior.

He doesn't look it.

He left his radio in his patrol car.

Why am I indulging this?

Junior or otherwise, we work with the police.

We don't go betraying their trust no matter what.

What was that?

Um.

Mice?

Uh-huh.

How big are they, mice, in Surrey, exactly?

It's coming from down the hallway.

Just.

Hold on.

Where are you going?

Going to the patrol car.

To get the police officer, like a normal person.

Watson.

Don't Watson me.

I'm sick of pissing about with the police like they're in the way or to be manipulated.

They are our partners in crime.

Crime solving, obviously.

Just wait here.

Goodness sake.

Officer Henderson.

We've actually just heard a noise in the house.

Officer Hendo

Where is he then?

He's gone.

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Rules and restrictions apply.

I think it's still further down this way.

I agree.

Let's keep moving.

You join us at Wisteria Lodge, where things have got incredibly even weirder.

From vanishing residents to men falling out of the sky to police officers disappearing.

And now we are trying to work out exactly where this noise is coming from.

It sounds like

someone is stuck somewhere.

That this lower floor is a total labyrinth.

Every door opens into an even more confusing room.

Like a old

word.

What is it?

I think I found his garage.

What's in there?

About ten million quid worth of cars, I'd say.

Aboriginis, Ferraris, and

Toyota Rav 4 for some reason, but fair enough, very reliable.

Teslas and Bentleys.

Are you quite finished?

I'm just admiring his stock.

I don't know why you find it surprising that the expelled Syrian oligarch collects flashy vehicles, Watson.

I'd be flabbergasted if he didn't, to be quite honest with you.

Yeah, alright, come on then.

Bye.

Did you just say bye to the cars?

Yeah, loser.

I actually agree with you.

Shh.

Left.

Down this way.

And still the hallway goes on.

Okay, we have some more doors coming up.

Yes, I think

it's

behind this one.

Right.

You want me to kick it down?

Why would you kick it down?

Someone is locked in there.

Listen to that.

The door isn't locked oh

oh my god oh jesus christ

here here mate come on there we go there we go

you must be officer henderson yeah yeah i am here

Nasty broken nose, but otherwise I think you'll be alright.

Good to hear.

The mystery of Wisteria Lodge deepens.

More like Mysteria Lodge.

Um, yeah, no.

I um I know I'm not the master detective in the group, but I really cannot wrap my head around this one.

When we spoke in Garcia's bedroom, uh-huh, yesterday, yes.

You mentioned a military airbase in the area.

I

did.

Wow, you are good.

Well, there isn't one.

Wait, no.

No, there is.

There isn't.

I assure you.

Eccles thinks there is.

That's weird.

Where's Sherlock?

Searching the house still.

Well, he better get a move on.

I think that particular activity may be against the clock now.

Yeah.

Yeah, unlike the grey area before, a crime has very much been committed, hasn't it?

Very much so.

Still,

I don't think it's Surrey Police that'll be chucking Sherlock out during his investigations.

No?

No.

We're dealing with something a a bit bigger than what Isha and Claygate Police Station can solve.

Sadly.

Yeah.

Yeah, I sort of feel the same, to be honest.

What do you reckon?

Am I six, sort of thing?

Five.

Right.

Yep, am I five.

Hey.

Hey.

Hello, Inspector.

Hello again.

So, Sherlock is still looking, but we have a date.

A date?

Mm-hmm.

Baynes's team got into Garcia's phone.

Hey, looks like Isha and Claygate Station still have another role of the Doice Mate.

Ha!

Well, let's keep playing while we still can, eh?

Garcia made a call late last night.

How late?

Around 11pm.

To who?

Conveniently for us?

To the guy that lives right over there.

That speck on the horizon.

Exactly.

Francis Pym.

Could be a Sir Francis Pym, actually.

Wouldn't surprise me.

Spent his life working in law.

We've got no chance with him.

He'd tie us up in some jurisprudence bollocks.

Hold on, hold on.

He called some local lord of the manotype moments before he died.

It looks that way.

Right.

He.

He might know how to deal with officers.

But would he know how to deal with us?

Good question.

Take your mic, get what you can.

Play it nice and give him the threat that the police are coming.

We'll do.

Stunning, isn't it?

Yeah, really, really beautiful.

You guys are good at these.

What?

Big country homes?

Yeah.

This is like, I mean,

there's nowhere else in the world that did this like you guys did.

I mean, look at that.

Look.

Yeah.

It's just so perfect.

Not to my tastes, but sure.

Come on.

The fountains, the flowers, the hedges.

I mean, the grass.

Look at that.

It's in a goal, though, isn't it?

And a basketball mirror.

Oh, good lord.

A trampoline wouldn't go amiss, would it?

How are you doing?

How am I doing?

Um

yeah,

it comes and goes.

Yeah, I think

I'm less cruel to myself.

That's good.

Yeah, I think I just need to sometimes.

I don't know, find peace.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Find a sense of stillness where I can rebuild myself slowly but surely.

From that

inner tranquility, I can heal.

It's just about finding my quiet place.

Fucking hell!

Shit!

Oh, it's okay.

Oh, my God.

My heart, I can't.

Oh, just a posh bloke.

Look.

Oh, that scared the shit out of me.

Oh.

Hello there.

Yeah, hi.

You are aware this is not a National Trust property.

Although you could always pay me an admission fee.

Come on, let's go have a chat with him.

Sorry about that.

We aren't ramblers.

Well, I might be after a pint or two.

No, my name is John Watson.

This is Mariana.

We we work for a private um

agency.

Detective agency.

Yeah.

Oh, right.

In London.

And we.

Got the blighter.

Down you go.

Get a boy, Ben.

Sorry.

Do go on.

Yeah, and, um.

One of your neighbors has got in a little bit of a pickle.

Oh.

A scandalous pickle, I hope.

Oh,

this.

Um, not that we're aware of.

We're talking about Ali Garcia.

Yes, I know him.

Know him well?

Well enough.

Ben!

Hello, boy, Ben!

Can a boy!

When was the last time you spoke to him?

Are you undercover?

Am I what?

Sorry?

Undercover.

Are you an undercover officer?

If so, this could be done at a later date with the correct processes observed.

Thank you very much.

Oh, yes.

Have that.

Wonderful.

No, sorry, I don't know if you heard.

We're private investigators.

Oh, in that case, I withdraw my statement.

Yeah?

Yes.

There will be be no later date that you are more than welcome to bugger off.

Once you've finished gawping at my botanical gardens, of course.

Bert!

Tell a boy!

Tell a boy, Bert!

I'm gonna do you a favour, Francis.

Mr.

Francis Pym, OBE to you, young man.

Thank you.

The police are on their way.

I find they want to know why you spoke to Ali Garcia just moments before he died.

What?

Luckily for you, a colleague of ours is integral to their investigation, so our word could help how they conduct themselves when speaking to you.

I don't think you want half a dozen patrol cars heading up your drive, do you, Francis?

Now, what would the neighbors think?

I don't know him all that well.

He called you and then died.

I didn't know if he was dead, so if you could just give me a moment.

Heaven's sake.

Oh.

Gosh almighty.

How did he die?

We don't know.

Why did he call you?

We had spoken in the village a few weeks ago.

He wanted to borrow a

a vehicle of mine.

Right.

He's got about 200 of them at his house, so that's weird.

And then last night he called and he asked for it.

I was.

You know, I was charging him a hefty fee.

What can I say?

But he was happy to pay it.

So he borrowed a vehicle last night.

Yes.

How did he die?

It's complicated.

He seems to have fallen from the sky into a wheat field about two miles that way.

No, no, no, no, no.

What?

Bloody hell.

Francis, what

vehicle did you lease to him?

He said

he said he had a colleague that could fly it, and I just could fly it.

Pilot seats here, and then this particular helicopter, I got the bigger model.

That's the four seats in the back here.

This is why Garcia made up the airbase to Echo.

Ah, so a helicopter in the night wouldn't seem unusual.

Bingo.

Do you uh you mind if I take a look?

Absolutely Absolutely not.

Hop in.

Okay.

Right.

So somebody landed it back here at your place?

Yes, I mean I mean I just assumed it was Alley.

Of course, why wouldn't you?

Does anything

in here look different at all?

No.

Um

but it it it smell it it definitely smells different.

Like what?

Something, I

a cleaning fluid, I'd say.

Okay.

Someone has cleaned it then.

I'd say so.

And does that fuel level look normal?

Fuel level, yeah, yeah.

I mean, they definitely didn't make it to London and back.

Okay, okay, that's good to know.

I guess that guy Garcia was hunting in the city has a guardian angel.

And that guardian angel is armed with a 7.65mm revolver.

What?

Bullet casings.

Here and here.

Good.

Go.

To binge this adventure in full and without ads, go to patreon.com forward slash Sherlock and Co.

Yo, this is important man.

Uh, my favorite Lululemon shorts, the ones you got me back in the day, I think they're called pacebreakers.

The ones with all the pockets.

I just got back from vacation and I left them in my hotel room.

And dude, I need to replace these shorts.

I wear them like three times a week.

Could you send me the link to where you got them?

Oh, also, my birthday is coming up soon.

So, anyways, thanks, bro.

Talk soon.

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