Black Peter - Part One

For a limited time at McDonald's, get a Big Mac extra-value meal for eight dollars.

That means two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun, and medium fries, and a drink.

We may need to change that jingle.

Prices and participation may vary.

There's only one place where history, culture, and adventure meet on the National Mall.

Where museum days turn to electric lights.

Where riverside sunrises glow and monuments shine in moonlight,

where there's something new for everyone to discover.

There's only one DC.

Visit Washington.org to plan your trip.

Honey punches of otes la forma perfecto depezad en el acconto familia.

Cono ju las crucientes y mi elberad calos niños les encantas.

Ademas delicos trosos de granola nuces y fruta que'todos vana dis brutal.

Honey punches a votes for todos.

Tocal bene

I'm going to go to the next one.

Just binge those full adventures immediately.

And that is just the tip of the iceberg.

There's so much more over at patreon.com forward slash Sherlock and Co.

Just six pounds a month.

Six pounds.

Yeah, that is cheaper than parking at Heathrow for 29 minutes.

Do you know that?

Yeah, 29 minutes in a Heathrow car park or Sherlock and Co.

Members Club.

You decide.

Patreon.com forward slash Sherlock and Co.

Welcome to the bedroom of John Hamish Watson.

This is where our story begins.

It's not really, but, you know, this is where I record the intros.

So...

Yeah, anyway, hi, welcome.

This is the adventure of Black Peter.

It It is comprised of three parts.

It's bleak and dark and sad.

So yeah, deal with it.

All the other info is in the episode description.

Let's crack on.

Shout out to our Chris, Chris with a K, who has an operation coming up.

We're wishing you all the best, Chris.

And hi to your sister, too.

Look at that guy.

What guy?

On the Vesper in the tank top.

Yeah, we're in Rome, John.

Well, I know, but...

hey, come on, it's January.

The Italians aren't like you guys.

They're outward, expressive, loving, affectionate.

Uh, have you ever watched Italian football?

You want to see some of their centre-backs, mate?

Nothing loving about them.

You're recording again.

We can't put this adventure out, John.

No, yeah, I know.

I was just gonna

provide a wee bit of context.

Ciao, everybody.

We're in Italia.

Have a listen,

Bellissimo.

Anyway, enough of that.

We're doing a case for for the

Catholic Church, basically.

Themlock, the.

Ah, what's it called?

My mind's gone blank.

What are they called?

The Vatican?

Vatican, God Almighty, John.

Oh, keep my voice down with the old blasphemy.

You're literally standing outside the Vatican City.

How can you forget the name?

Anyway, came all this way, expecting to document the adventure, the death of Cardinal Tosca,

and turns out the Lord doesn't approve of microphones.

so

yeah.

Now we're waiting outside for Sherlock to impart his wisdom on the matter.

Oh, here we go.

Let's go.

Yes, let's.

Avante.

What does that mean?

Shut up.

It means shut up.

I know.

No, just shut up.

Alright, mate.

Yes, hello.

How did he die then?

I need you.

Of course, yeah.

No, uh, what what do you need me for?

I can examine the body.

I'm talking to Mariana.

Oh, what's up?

Could you tell them that Cardinal Tosca died not through any mysterious means?

Okay, um,

salve, signori, posi modirvi, que yo cardinalitosca nonemorto per case suspecte.

You speak Italian.

What's going on?

How many languages do you actually speak?

I think uh six.

Many

six or seven.

Sorry.

He was not attacked.

He had blood coming from his ears and his eyes, not through physical assault or superficial injury.

The damage was done on Christmas Day, and I suspect the tumble he took down the stairs was not because he was brutally thrown down there.

There is no killer, no?

Well, your killer is a little elderly.

He's over 230 years old, in fact, and rather immobile.

Only moves a couple of times a year, should the Pope be in good health.

But having said that, he's also rather formidable.

He's eight feet high, eight feet in diameter, and weighs nine tons.

A demon?

Nope.

A much more welcome resident of St.

Peter's Basilica.

In the tower, to be exact.

Where Cardinal Tosca was on Christmas Day, was he not?

You're not being

clear.

Oh, I'm being as clear as a bell, Your Reverence.

Right, we best be off.

But thank you for the case.

It's been most enjoyable.

And next time the sacred Campanone rings, I believe on Easter Sunday.

Make sure there aren't any elderly cardinals in its vicinity.

Senor, we requested your service to solve this case.

Being in close proximity to sounds over 100 decibels is extremely dangerous, senor.

The pressure on the human body is enormous, as our late cardinal has demonstrated.

Please do take care.

Watson, Mariana, Avanti.

I see it is Avanti.

I didn't say it wasn't.

Roy, oh, well, we should probably take the earlier flight then.

I'll see if it lets me change it on the app.

Lovely.

Mr.

Holmes, I

we refuse to accept the the the death of Cardinal Tosker is a great pain to us.

To all humanity, Your Reverence, I assure you.

For whom the bell tolls, Father.

For whom the bell tolls.

Ding-dong.

My name is Dr.

John Watson, once of the British Army Northumberland Fusilier Regiment, now a true crime podcaster based in central London.

I don't have much experience in criminology, so this is mostly a record of how I met possibly the most brilliant and bizarre person I have ever and will ever know.

Join me as I document the adventures of Sherlock Holmes.

You're watching Peter Orwell Carey,

and I'm talking about where we fing

where we fing go from here

with

strategies systems

under my system

a real system

for the f

people

it would be a real democracy

not this

not this show now

we have run by these

these

Because they're the same each one the same

And I'm not saying I'm not I'm not saying schools and and the background of these people I'm saying they're

These people are bioengineered, right?

Bioengineered

They're all the same people, they're all the same fing

and it's bioengineering, right?

And they're rolling that out across the UK

across the west on a industrial

fucking industrial scale enough

like you wouldn't keep on even

and my way

is the only way we're gonna survive as a species not get

completely wiped out

or worse

or worse

Assimilated

Assimilated

Forced into their fing conformity

So they have, and I talked about this before.

I've talked about this before.

So they would have

eternal power.

That's what they want.

That's what they want.

They want.

You think I want to be out here in this cabin?

In my woods?

I do it because they're listening in my home.

They're listening to everything in my house.

My family.

they're being assimilated

They speak like them

They

They're contaminated.

That's

that's exactly what they are they're contaminated and it's

Something has to

something's gotta give

And they ain't gonna be me guys honest

They start looking at me with those eyes those dead,

brainwashed, synthetic

eyes.

And that's

that's an agent of the state right there

in my home.

And I won't hesitate.

I won't hesitate.

We will hear from the juror.

We will hear from the juror.

Thank you.

On the charge of attempted murder, we the jury find the defendant guilty.

Yes, thank you, thank you, and thank you to the jurors and counsel.

Mr.

Wilson, you have been found guilty on the charges presented to the court.

We will adjourn and reconvene for a sentence hearing on the 19th at 11 a.m.

Thank you very much.

Court is adjourned.

Well, well, well, well, another one bites the dust.

And another win for Sherlock and Co.

Aren't we great?

So great.

I think we have to go out this way, then the main entrance bit.

Sure.

Do you think...

Do I think...

What?

Do you think it's good enough?

What's good enough?

The case.

To publish as an episode.

Oh, what?

Oh, don't say this now.

I'm...

I just...

don't think the case is that um exciting.

Wilson the Canary Trainer.

Attempted murder in East London.

Come on, this is gold.

You really think that?

No.

But loads of podcasts put crap out on a weekly basis.

It's it's our turn now.

Yeah, great idea, John.

Listen to crap now, wherever you get your podcasts.

Oh, I know I'm not that religious, so it's easy for me to point the finger, but uh, this is God's fault, really, isn't it?

Sorry, what now?

It's bishops and cardinals and all that.

They shut me out of recording at the Vatican, so I couldn't do that case, could I?

Now, I tried to get this one in the bag.

I even smuggled a microphone into a Crown Court, for goodness sake.

Now you're telling me it's crap.

If you really think the case of Wilson the Canary Trainer is worth publishing, then do it.

Bollocks.

Exactly.

Then what are we gonna do?

Uh, we be patient.

We do our usual approach.

We look for the strange and the unexplained problems.

And uh, yeah.

Great.

So we just go about our day-to-day life in the hope that we walk right into.

Sorry.

Ah, no, no worries.

It's um.

Oh,

Hopkins.

Oh, bloody hell.

Hello, John.

Oh, hey, Stanley Hopkins, right?

That's right, yeah.

You're not a thingy, a PCSO anymore.

No, uh, yeah, right after the uh, uh, the golden pants I got a couple of promotions, actually.

I'm sergeant now, so.

Hey, nice.

Congratulations!

Thanks.

Yeah, thank you, guys.

Oh, you deserve it.

That was a great shout on the pantsnai situation in the first place.

Yeah, thanks.

Tell Sherlock I said hi.

We'll do mate.

We're actually heading back to the flat now, so yeah.

Great to see you again.

Yes, you too.

Oh, duty calls.

Of course, mate.

See ya.

He's nice, isn't he?

Yeah, and that's so good about the promotions.

Hmm.

Hmm, good for him.

About time.

Community support officer, honestly.

Poor sod.

What's wrong with that?

Oh, you know, it's just a bit Blue Peter badge, isn't it?

I don't get what you mean.

Come on, it's like being a prefect or a hall monitor.

I was a prefect and a hall monitor.

I am not blown away by that information.

What's wrong with that?

I don't know, it's just a bit, you know.

What, commendable?

No.

Lame.

Oh, shut up.

Look, I don't know how it is in Spain, but over here,

there's a lot of people that can be very

what?

Very.

Oh, you can't park there.

Oh, oh, you filled in the blue form.

You're supposed to fill in the yellow form.

John.

And then no.

Oh, you can't build that there because there's a water vole sanctuary up the road and all the water voles are having therapy for their separation anxiety.

Oh, so people that look after things?

Or care about things?

Or don't just go through life looking after themselves?

Please.

Please, what?

You're in it for the power.

Oh, it sounds like somebody didn't get to be a prefect at school.

No, I didn't.

And I didn't want to.

Mm-hmm.

Sure.

I didn't.

I happen to be very content with my lot, thanks very much.

I don't need power or control or some virtuous status.

Oh, so noble.

I'm just saying, right?

I don't go through life thinking I'm some hero of society.

John, there's been a murder.

We need you.

I'll be right there, Hopkins.

Don't worry.

Watson is on the case.

Starting a business can seem like a daunting task, unless you have a partner like Shopify.

They have the tools you need to start and grow your business.

From designing a website to marketing to selling and beyond, Shopify can help with everything you need.

There's a reason millions of companies like Mattel, Heinz, and Allberds continue to trust and use them.

With Shopify on your side, turn your big business idea into.

Sign up for your $1 per month trial at shopify.com/slash special offer.

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance.

Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game?

Well, with the name Your Price tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills.

Try it at progressive.com.

Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates.

Price and coverage match limited by state law.

Not available in all states.

CRM was supposed to improve customer relationships.

Instead, it's shorthand for can't resolve much.

Which means you may have sunk a fortune into software that just bounces customer issues around but never actually solves them.

On the ServiceNow AI platform, CRM stands for something better.

With AI built into one platform, customers aren't mired in endless loops of automated indifference.

They get what they need when they need it.

Dad CRM was then.

This is Service Now.

Enough.

Sorry.

Still further down here.

Yep.

So the victim lived in this forest, Hopkins?

Not quite.

His house is back on the B Road, so up the track we came down and then left.

They own about an an acre over there, then two acres down through here where it stops at the river.

And you'll see,

see the taped-off part there in the trees, yes.

That's the scene of the crime.

He had a shack, an old hunting lodge, really, but he converted it into a bit of a man cave.

And he'd spend what the night there?

Increasingly, he'd spend more and more time there.

Yeah.

Interesting choice, but okay.

And what of him, Peter Carey

right now I don't know a great deal but I've got officers there at the scene that are local to the area excellent

hello all

and welcome to Woodman's Lee in East Sussex

it is situated on a sort of heathland

well half heath common land type thing and half forested all around us on the horizon and across the heath are these

little clumps.

Oh come on John, what's the word?

Cops.

A copse of trees.

I think that's right, I'm feeling pretty confident.

It is correct.

Lovely.

And

one of the cops around here will be full of cops.

A copse full of cops because

murder.

Anyway, lots of patches of them and we are just coming down the track towards a much thicker forest where, as Hopkins just noted, the police have taped off the area as a body has been found.

A body of Peter Carey.

Some little facts on where we are.

This area where Woodman's Lee is sat is called Ashdown Forest.

A medieval hunting ground created after the Norman invasion.

For those outside the UK who are unfamiliar with the Norman conquest of England, it wasn't a bloke called Norman.

It was actually a bloke called William in 1066.

But he did come from Normandy and he took over lots of England and gave us jobs and admin and all that stuff, which we are still doing to this day.

Very hands-on management approach, really annoying.

But it does mean that we know a lot about that time now, I suppose.

Fast forward a few hundred years, and Henry VIII is hunting in the area and Boleyn living up the road, so he really was gunning for the local birds.

John.

Sorry, yeah, murder scene.

Murder scene.

Yeah, it's

it's quite a dramatic landscape, but um you know to lighten the mood without jokes about medieval shagging, Ashdown Forest is the inspiration for the Hundred Acre Wood, which is from Winnie the Pooh, for those that didn't know.

Could I offer some editorial tips?

I feel it may be best for a true crime documentary to lean a little further into the murder rather than Anne Boleyn and Winnie the Pooh.

Yes, true.

But we haven't seen the body yet, neither has Hopkins, so

why should I speculate?

Anyway, across the forest you've got Crowborough, lovely little town, lots of famous people from there through the years, big name authors and thinkers, and

Ross Kemp.

He's

there.

Yeah, so we're just now coming down a slopey bit and into the thick of trees.

So

just bear with me me as i clamber down here

sergeant hopkins hi mike i've got two inspectors from london with me oh yeah yeah sure uh sure we're still under operating procedure for the scene sergeant hopkins so i'm going to ask that you perhaps chaperone the two gentlemen of course yeah have csi been been and gone for the moment sir yeah and

the remains the remains uh remain um but will be collected at 1200 hours sir i believe thank you mike mike are you local I am, sir, yes.

And are you familiar with Peter Carey?

I'm indeed.

Then I request that you join us inside the cabin.

Okay, certainly, sir.

It's uh

yeah, we are

quite secluded now in a forest.

Nothing around and just this

little shack, a log cabin.

I mean literally a cabin in the woods.

Looking back towards the top path where we've come from, you can still see the victim's house.

And this is his land after all, but

yeah, it's pretty remote for an outhouse or

a home office or something.

Let's head inside.

Indeed.

Mike, lead the way.

Okay, spokes have come through here, gentlemen.

It's um,

yeah,

as you can see, it's

brutal.

This is

monstrous.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He's

pinned to the wall, Sherlock.

He's pinned to the wall.

Indeed.

How?

It's uh

harpoon through his chest.

What in the hell?

Sunk deep in the wood of the wall behind him.

Pinned like a beetle on a card.

Sherlock hmm look at his face yes frostbite frostbite

Peter was a mountaineer

he's had a couple of close calls actually in his in his climbing days so he would seem judging by his face which is twisted like a lost soul in torment to be the happier days of his life officer he's quite extensive frostbite.

I've I've never seen it this bad before.

Yeah they um

it's it's big I shouldn't laugh it's a bit cruel but a lot of the locals used to call him Blackbeard because you could see how it's all sort of around his jaw yeah.

Yeah yeah and then it just became

Black Peter.

Black Peter.

How were you informed of his death, Officer?

His cabin is rather remote.

Who discovered him his wife did sir um the family home is just up that way

um

yeah he didn't come back into the house she said she would usually expect him in around 2 a.m something like that

and nobody has touched the interior of this room is that correct correct sir his phone case uh

here

was the only item that was knocked out of place by the wife's forced entry.

Yeah, your phone case.

PC has his initials on it.

Yes, and so does this lighter.

But that doesn't quite correlate.

Doesn't it?

What do you notice, Sherlock?

Many things.

Could you give us a few off the bat?

A starter for ten sort of thing.

He's well dressed.

He doesn't smoke, but there's two separate single cigar case lids here

and there.

Along with the lighter.

So he was expecting someone.

I'm not saying I disagree,

but it's just worth noting.

He was a very troubled, lonely man, sir.

So I thought you said he was married.

No, he was, yeah.

How can he be lonely?

Well, he

preferred to be out here in his cabin.

And to be honest with you, she preferred that too.

I see.

Hopkins?

Yes?

Take a photo of that, please.

Of

what?

The notebook there on the floor below the window.

Okay.

Is that important?

Yes.

Why?

Because almost everything in here is covered in blood, or at least has been spattered by it.

That notebook has not.

In fact,

if I just...

pick it up

you see

the notepad sat on top of blood.

Dried blood, too, from the looks of it.

This was left here sometime after the murder.

Ah, could that be one of our officers, perhaps?

Nope.

It's a complimentary notepad from an airline.

Ah.

Someone came back in.

Right, hold up.

The door.

The door is splintered here.

And on the frame, too.

Yeah, the wife said she had to kick the door in.

It was locked.

Locked from the inside, yeah?

Yes, sir.

If you could secure the area right outside that window there, make sure the forest floor remains untouched, please.

Hopkins, yep, we'll do.

Watson, yes, mate.

I have a suspicion.

Could you confirm it for me?

Sure, what's up?

Was this man murdered last night?

All right, let me see.

Oh, uh, yeah, some

bloating, slight

shades of green and uh

yeah smell uh some purge fluid in the nostrils from the looks of it.

Uh

yeah, Black Peter here has been dead for

I'd say two days.

Yes, I thought the same.

Yeah, I'd say not last night, the night before.

It was a sunny morning yesterday, and today.

There's very little forest cover east of this cabin, so it would have been warm enough to incubate the corpse.

Yeah, agreed.

The wife, she said he was gone for just last night, and she checked on him this morning.

Then she's lying, officer.

Right.

Right.

We have a few questions for her, then.

So do I.

Once I have answered some others.

Like what?

Like, how was a man murdered with a harpoon in a locked cabin?

Who did it?

And why did they leave a notepad written in Japanese under the window they crawled out of?

Oh.

Shall we get to work?

To binge this adventure in full and without ads, go to patreon.com forward slash Sherlock and Co.

You say you'll never join the Navy.

That living on a submarine would be too hard.

You'd never power a whole ship with nuclear energy.

Never bring a patient back to life.

Or play the national anthem for a sold-out crowd.

Joining the Navy sounds crazy.

Saying never actually is.

Start your journey at Navy.com.

America's Navy, forged by the sea.