Black Peter - Part One

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Speaker 16 Welcome to the bedroom of John Hamish Watson.

Speaker 17 This is where our story begins.

Speaker 19 It's not really, but, you know, this is where I record the intros.

Speaker 12 So...

Speaker 7 Yeah, anyway, hi, welcome.

Speaker 20 This is the adventure of Black Peter.

Speaker 13 It It is comprised of three parts.

Speaker 11 It's bleak and dark and sad.

Speaker 10 So yeah, deal with it. All the other info is in the episode description.

Speaker 5 Let's crack on.

Speaker 15 Shout out to our Chris, Chris with a K, who has an operation coming up.

Speaker 5 We're wishing you all the best, Chris.

Speaker 12 And hi to your sister, too.

Speaker 23 Look at that guy.

Speaker 24 What guy?

Speaker 7 On the Vesper in the tank top. Yeah, we're in Rome, John.
Well, I know, but...

Speaker 5 hey, come on, it's January.

Speaker 24 The Italians aren't like you guys. They're outward, expressive, loving, affectionate.

Speaker 7 Uh, have you ever watched Italian football?

Speaker 13 You want to see some of their centre-backs, mate?

Speaker 12 Nothing loving about them.

Speaker 24 You're recording again. We can't put this adventure out, John.

Speaker 21 No, yeah, I know. I was just gonna

Speaker 15 provide a wee bit of context.

Speaker 26 Ciao, everybody.

Speaker 8 We're in Italia.

Speaker 12 Have a listen,

Speaker 25 Bellissimo.

Speaker 7 Anyway, enough of that.

Speaker 20 We're doing a case for for the

Speaker 26 Catholic Church, basically.

Speaker 12 Themlock, the.

Speaker 7 Ah, what's it called? My mind's gone blank. What are they called?

Speaker 8 The Vatican?

Speaker 11 Vatican, God Almighty, John.

Speaker 12 Oh, keep my voice down with the old blasphemy.

Speaker 24 You're literally standing outside the Vatican City.

Speaker 24 How can you forget the name?

Speaker 15 Anyway, came all this way, expecting to document the adventure, the death of Cardinal Tosca,

Speaker 11 and turns out the Lord doesn't approve of microphones.

Speaker 15 so

Speaker 15 yeah.

Speaker 15 Now we're waiting outside for Sherlock to impart his wisdom on the matter.

Speaker 11 Oh, here we go.

Speaker 7 Let's go.

Speaker 11 Yes, let's. Avante.

Speaker 11 What does that mean? Shut up.

Speaker 1 It means shut up. I know.

Speaker 24 No, just shut up.

Speaker 18 Alright, mate.

Speaker 2 Yes, hello.

Speaker 12 How did he die then?

Speaker 11 I need you.

Speaker 7 Of course, yeah.

Speaker 11 No, uh, what what do you need me for?

Speaker 10 I can examine the body.

Speaker 2 I'm talking to Mariana.

Speaker 24 Oh, what's up?

Speaker 2 Could you tell them that Cardinal Tosca died not through any mysterious means?

Speaker 7 Okay, um,

Speaker 24 salve, signori, posi modirvi, que yo cardinalitosca nonemorto per case suspecte.

Speaker 7 You speak Italian.

Speaker 7 What's going on?

Speaker 21 How many languages do you actually speak?

Speaker 24 I think uh six. Many

Speaker 22 six or seven.

Speaker 11 Sorry.

Speaker 2 He was not attacked.

Speaker 2 He had blood coming from his ears and his eyes, not through physical assault or superficial injury.

Speaker 2 The damage was done on Christmas Day, and I suspect the tumble he took down the stairs was not because he was brutally thrown down there.

Speaker 30 There is no killer, no?

Speaker 2 Well, your killer is a little elderly. He's over 230 years old, in fact, and rather immobile.
Only moves a couple of times a year, should the Pope be in good health.

Speaker 2 But having said that, he's also rather formidable. He's eight feet high, eight feet in diameter, and weighs nine tons.

Speaker 3 A demon?

Speaker 11 Nope.

Speaker 2 A much more welcome resident of St. Peter's Basilica.
In the tower, to be exact. Where Cardinal Tosca was on Christmas Day, was he not?

Speaker 23 You're not being

Speaker 7 clear.

Speaker 2 Oh, I'm being as clear as a bell, Your Reverence.

Speaker 2 Right, we best be off. But thank you for the case.
It's been most enjoyable.

Speaker 2 And next time the sacred Campanone rings, I believe on Easter Sunday. Make sure there aren't any elderly cardinals in its vicinity.

Speaker 30 Senor, we requested your service to solve this case.

Speaker 2 Being in close proximity to sounds over 100 decibels is extremely dangerous, senor.

Speaker 2 The pressure on the human body is enormous, as our late cardinal has demonstrated. Please do take care.

Speaker 23 Watson, Mariana, Avanti.

Speaker 14 I see it is Avanti.

Speaker 24 I didn't say it wasn't.

Speaker 12 Roy, oh, well, we should probably take the earlier flight then.

Speaker 24 I'll see if it lets me change it on the app.

Speaker 7 Lovely.

Speaker 7 Mr.

Speaker 23 Holmes, I

Speaker 30 we refuse to accept the the the death of Cardinal Tosker is a great pain to us.

Speaker 2 To all humanity, Your Reverence, I assure you.

Speaker 2 For whom the bell tolls, Father.

Speaker 2 For whom the bell tolls.

Speaker 11 Ding-dong.

Speaker 32 My name is Dr. John Watson, once of the British Army Northumberland Fusilier Regiment, now a true crime podcaster based in central London.

Speaker 32 I don't have much experience in criminology, so this is mostly a record of how I met possibly the most brilliant and bizarre person I have ever and will ever know.

Speaker 9 Join me as I document the adventures of Sherlock Holmes.

Speaker 23 You're watching Peter Orwell Carey,

Speaker 23 and I'm talking about where we fing

Speaker 23 where we fing go from here

Speaker 23 with

Speaker 23 strategies systems

Speaker 23 under my system

Speaker 23 a real system

Speaker 23 for the f

Speaker 23 people

Speaker 23 it would be a real democracy

Speaker 23 not this

Speaker 23 not this show now

Speaker 23 we have run by these

Speaker 33 these

Speaker 23 Because they're the same each one the same

Speaker 23 And I'm not saying I'm not I'm not saying schools and and the background of these people I'm saying they're

Speaker 23 These people are bioengineered, right?

Speaker 23 Bioengineered

Speaker 23 They're all the same people, they're all the same fing

Speaker 23 and it's bioengineering, right?

Speaker 23 And they're rolling that out across the UK

Speaker 23 across the west on a industrial

Speaker 23 fucking industrial scale enough

Speaker 23 like you wouldn't keep on even

Speaker 23 and my way

Speaker 23 is the only way we're gonna survive as a species not get

Speaker 23 completely wiped out

Speaker 23 or worse

Speaker 23 or worse

Speaker 23 Assimilated

Speaker 23 Assimilated

Speaker 23 Forced into their fing conformity

Speaker 23 So they have, and I talked about this before. I've talked about this before.
So they would have

Speaker 23 eternal power.

Speaker 23 That's what they want. That's what they want.
They want.

Speaker 23 You think I want to be out here in this cabin?

Speaker 23 In my woods?

Speaker 23 I do it because they're listening in my home.

Speaker 23 They're listening to everything in my house.

Speaker 23 My family. they're being assimilated

Speaker 23 They speak like them

Speaker 23 They

Speaker 23 They're contaminated. That's

Speaker 23 that's exactly what they are they're contaminated and it's

Speaker 23 Something has to

Speaker 23 something's gotta give

Speaker 23 And they ain't gonna be me guys honest

Speaker 23 They start looking at me with those eyes those dead,

Speaker 23 brainwashed, synthetic

Speaker 23 eyes.

Speaker 23 And that's

Speaker 23 that's an agent of the state right there

Speaker 7 in my home.

Speaker 23 And I won't hesitate.

Speaker 23 I won't hesitate.

Speaker 23 We will hear from the juror.

Speaker 29 We will hear from the juror. Thank you.

Speaker 19 On the charge of attempted murder, we the jury find the defendant guilty.

Speaker 29 Yes, thank you, thank you, and thank you to the jurors and counsel.

Speaker 29 Mr. Wilson, you have been found guilty on the charges presented to the court.
We will adjourn and reconvene for a sentence hearing on the 19th at 11 a.m. Thank you very much.
Court is adjourned.

Speaker 25 Well, well, well, well, another one bites the dust.

Speaker 24 And another win for Sherlock and Co.

Speaker 9 Aren't we great?

Speaker 24 So great.

Speaker 17 I think we have to go out this way, then the main entrance bit.

Speaker 7 Sure.

Speaker 6 Do you think...

Speaker 16 Do I think...

Speaker 18 What?

Speaker 24 Do you think it's good enough?

Speaker 18 What's good enough?

Speaker 24 The case. To publish as an episode.

Speaker 7 Oh, what?

Speaker 11 Oh, don't say this now. I'm...

Speaker 24 I just...

Speaker 7 don't think the case is that um exciting. Wilson the Canary Trainer.

Speaker 21 Attempted murder in East London.

Speaker 7 Come on, this is gold.

Speaker 11 You really think that?

Speaker 7 No.

Speaker 7 But loads of podcasts put crap out on a weekly basis.

Speaker 22 It's it's our turn now.

Speaker 24 Yeah, great idea, John. Listen to crap now, wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaker 15 Oh, I know I'm not that religious, so it's easy for me to point the finger, but uh, this is God's fault, really, isn't it?

Speaker 24 Sorry, what now?

Speaker 14 It's bishops and cardinals and all that.

Speaker 11 They shut me out of recording at the Vatican, so I couldn't do that case, could I?

Speaker 21 Now, I tried to get this one in the bag.

Speaker 11 I even smuggled a microphone into a Crown Court, for goodness sake.

Speaker 21 Now you're telling me it's crap.

Speaker 24 If you really think the case of Wilson the Canary Trainer is worth publishing, then do it.

Speaker 5 Bollocks.

Speaker 24 Exactly.

Speaker 7 Then what are we gonna do?

Speaker 24 Uh, we be patient. We do our usual approach.
We look for the strange and the unexplained problems.

Speaker 7 And uh, yeah.

Speaker 11 Great.

Speaker 12 So we just go about our day-to-day life in the hope that we walk right into.

Speaker 23 Sorry.

Speaker 3 Ah, no, no worries. It's um.

Speaker 7 Oh,

Speaker 23 Hopkins.

Speaker 34 Oh, bloody hell. Hello, John.

Speaker 7 Oh, hey, Stanley Hopkins, right?

Speaker 23 That's right, yeah.

Speaker 7 You're not a thingy, a PCSO anymore.

Speaker 34 No, uh, yeah, right after the uh, uh, the golden pants I got a couple of promotions, actually.

Speaker 34 I'm sergeant now, so.

Speaker 7 Hey, nice. Congratulations!

Speaker 23 Thanks.

Speaker 7 Yeah, thank you, guys.

Speaker 31 Oh, you deserve it.

Speaker 13 That was a great shout on the pantsnai situation in the first place.

Speaker 7 Yeah, thanks.

Speaker 34 Tell Sherlock I said hi.

Speaker 7 We'll do mate. We're actually heading back to the flat now, so yeah.

Speaker 24 Great to see you again.

Speaker 34 Yes, you too.

Speaker 14 Oh, duty calls. Of course, mate.
See ya.

Speaker 11 He's nice, isn't he?

Speaker 24 Yeah, and that's so good about the promotions. Hmm.

Speaker 7 Hmm, good for him.

Speaker 25 About time. Community support officer, honestly.
Poor sod.

Speaker 24 What's wrong with that?

Speaker 7 Oh, you know, it's just a bit Blue Peter badge, isn't it?

Speaker 24 I don't get what you mean.

Speaker 13 Come on, it's like being a prefect or a hall monitor.

Speaker 24 I was a prefect and a hall monitor.

Speaker 12 I am not blown away by that information.

Speaker 24 What's wrong with that?

Speaker 9 I don't know, it's just a bit, you know.

Speaker 24 What, commendable? No.

Speaker 11 Lame.

Speaker 22 Oh, shut up.

Speaker 7 Look, I don't know how it is in Spain, but over here,

Speaker 27 there's a lot of people that can be very

Speaker 18 what?

Speaker 7 Very.

Speaker 15 Oh, you can't park there.

Speaker 11 Oh, oh, you filled in the blue form. You're supposed to fill in the yellow form.

Speaker 7 John. And then no.
Oh, you can't build that there because there's a water vole sanctuary up the road and all the water voles are having therapy for their separation anxiety.

Speaker 24 Oh, so people that look after things? Or care about things? Or don't just go through life looking after themselves?

Speaker 11 Please.

Speaker 24 Please, what?

Speaker 14 You're in it for the power.

Speaker 24 Oh, it sounds like somebody didn't get to be a prefect at school.

Speaker 11 No, I didn't.

Speaker 25 And I didn't want to.

Speaker 11 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 7 Sure. I didn't.

Speaker 21 I happen to be very content with my lot, thanks very much.

Speaker 25 I don't need power or control or some virtuous status.

Speaker 7 Oh, so noble.

Speaker 5 I'm just saying, right?

Speaker 28 I don't go through life thinking I'm some hero of society.

Speaker 23 John, there's been a murder.

Speaker 7 We need you.

Speaker 31 I'll be right there, Hopkins.

Speaker 35 Don't worry.

Speaker 9 Watson is on the case.

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Speaker 12 Enough. Sorry.

Speaker 34 Still further down here. Yep.

Speaker 2 So the victim lived in this forest, Hopkins?

Speaker 23 Not quite.

Speaker 34 His house is back on the B Road, so up the track we came down and then left. They own about an an acre over there, then two acres down through here where it stops at the river.

Speaker 9 And you'll see,

Speaker 34 see the taped-off part there in the trees, yes. That's the scene of the crime.
He had a shack, an old hunting lodge, really, but he converted it into a bit of a man cave.

Speaker 12 And he'd spend what the night there?

Speaker 34 Increasingly, he'd spend more and more time there. Yeah.

Speaker 27 Interesting choice, but okay.

Speaker 2 And what of him, Peter Carey

Speaker 34 right now I don't know a great deal but I've got officers there at the scene that are local to the area excellent

Speaker 31 hello all

Speaker 27 and welcome to Woodman's Lee in East Sussex

Speaker 10 it is situated on a sort of heathland

Speaker 14 well half heath common land type thing and half forested all around us on the horizon and across the heath are these

Speaker 25 little clumps.

Speaker 25 Oh come on John, what's the word?

Speaker 6 Cops.

Speaker 7 A copse of trees.

Speaker 11 I think that's right, I'm feeling pretty confident.

Speaker 23 It is correct.

Speaker 14 Lovely.

Speaker 18 And

Speaker 21 one of the cops around here will be full of cops.

Speaker 15 A copse full of cops because

Speaker 23 murder.

Speaker 15 Anyway, lots of patches of them and we are just coming down the track towards a much thicker forest where, as Hopkins just noted, the police have taped off the area as a body has been found.

Speaker 17 A body of Peter Carey.

Speaker 28 Some little facts on where we are.

Speaker 10 This area where Woodman's Lee is sat is called Ashdown Forest.

Speaker 27 A medieval hunting ground created after the Norman invasion.

Speaker 28 For those outside the UK who are unfamiliar with the Norman conquest of England, it wasn't a bloke called Norman.

Speaker 12 It was actually a bloke called William in 1066.

Speaker 27 But he did come from Normandy and he took over lots of England and gave us jobs and admin and all that stuff, which we are still doing to this day. Very hands-on management approach, really annoying.

Speaker 27 But it does mean that we know a lot about that time now, I suppose.

Speaker 20 Fast forward a few hundred years, and Henry VIII is hunting in the area and Boleyn living up the road, so he really was gunning for the local birds.

Speaker 10 John.

Speaker 14 Sorry, yeah, murder scene.

Speaker 17 Murder scene.

Speaker 19 Yeah, it's

Speaker 10 it's quite a dramatic landscape, but um you know to lighten the mood without jokes about medieval shagging, Ashdown Forest is the inspiration for the Hundred Acre Wood, which is from Winnie the Pooh, for those that didn't know.

Speaker 2 Could I offer some editorial tips?

Speaker 2 I feel it may be best for a true crime documentary to lean a little further into the murder rather than Anne Boleyn and Winnie the Pooh.

Speaker 31 Yes, true.

Speaker 15 But we haven't seen the body yet, neither has Hopkins, so

Speaker 27 why should I speculate?

Speaker 14 Anyway, across the forest you've got Crowborough, lovely little town, lots of famous people from there through the years, big name authors and thinkers, and

Speaker 10 Ross Kemp. He's

Speaker 12 there.

Speaker 27 Yeah, so we're just now coming down a slopey bit and into the thick of trees.

Speaker 10 So

Speaker 12 just bear with me me as i clamber down here

Speaker 2 sergeant hopkins hi mike i've got two inspectors from london with me oh yeah yeah sure uh sure we're still under operating procedure for the scene sergeant hopkins so i'm going to ask that you perhaps chaperone the two gentlemen of course yeah have csi been been and gone for the moment sir yeah and

Speaker 2 the remains the remains uh remain um but will be collected at 1200 hours sir i believe thank you mike mike are you local I am, sir, yes. And are you familiar with Peter Carey?

Speaker 26 I'm indeed.

Speaker 2 Then I request that you join us inside the cabin. Okay, certainly, sir.

Speaker 11 It's uh

Speaker 11 yeah, we are

Speaker 10 quite secluded now in a forest.

Speaker 5 Nothing around and just this

Speaker 10 little shack, a log cabin.

Speaker 17 I mean literally a cabin in the woods.

Speaker 28 Looking back towards the top path where we've come from, you can still see the victim's house.

Speaker 19 And this is his land after all, but

Speaker 28 yeah, it's pretty remote for an outhouse or

Speaker 16 a home office or something.

Speaker 10 Let's head inside.

Speaker 2 Indeed.

Speaker 12 Mike, lead the way.

Speaker 2 Okay, spokes have come through here, gentlemen.

Speaker 2 It's um,

Speaker 10 yeah,

Speaker 11 as you can see, it's

Speaker 11 brutal.

Speaker 31 This is

Speaker 2 monstrous.

Speaker 11 Yeah.

Speaker 12 Yeah.

Speaker 12 He's

Speaker 25 pinned to the wall, Sherlock.

Speaker 27 He's pinned to the wall.

Speaker 33 Indeed.

Speaker 11 How?

Speaker 11 It's uh

Speaker 2 harpoon through his chest.

Speaker 31 What in the hell?

Speaker 33 Sunk deep in the wood of the wall behind him.

Speaker 33 Pinned like a beetle on a card.

Speaker 2 Sherlock hmm look at his face yes frostbite frostbite

Speaker 2 Peter was a mountaineer

Speaker 2 he's had a couple of close calls actually in his in his climbing days so he would seem judging by his face which is twisted like a lost soul in torment to be the happier days of his life officer he's quite extensive frostbite.

Speaker 16 I've I've never seen it this bad before.

Speaker 2 Yeah they um

Speaker 2 it's it's big I shouldn't laugh it's a bit cruel but a lot of the locals used to call him Blackbeard because you could see how it's all sort of around his jaw yeah. Yeah yeah and then it just became

Speaker 11 Black Peter.

Speaker 16 Black Peter.

Speaker 2 How were you informed of his death, Officer? His cabin is rather remote. Who discovered him his wife did sir um the family home is just up that way

Speaker 2 um

Speaker 2 yeah he didn't come back into the house she said she would usually expect him in around 2 a.m something like that

Speaker 2 and nobody has touched the interior of this room is that correct correct sir his phone case uh

Speaker 11 here

Speaker 2 was the only item that was knocked out of place by the wife's forced entry.

Speaker 23 Yeah, your phone case.

Speaker 16 PC has his initials on it.

Speaker 2 Yes, and so does this lighter.

Speaker 2 But that doesn't quite correlate.

Speaker 25 Doesn't it?

Speaker 34 What do you notice, Sherlock?

Speaker 2 Many things.

Speaker 34 Could you give us a few off the bat? A starter for ten sort of thing.

Speaker 2 He's well dressed. He doesn't smoke, but there's two separate single cigar case lids here

Speaker 2 and there.

Speaker 2 Along with the lighter.

Speaker 2 So he was expecting someone.

Speaker 2 I'm not saying I disagree,

Speaker 2 but it's just worth noting.

Speaker 2 He was a very troubled, lonely man, sir.

Speaker 11 So I thought you said he was married.

Speaker 2 No, he was, yeah.

Speaker 16 How can he be lonely? Well, he

Speaker 2 preferred to be out here in his cabin.

Speaker 2 And to be honest with you, she preferred that too.

Speaker 25 I see.

Speaker 2 Hopkins?

Speaker 12 Yes?

Speaker 2 Take a photo of that, please. Of

Speaker 2 what? The notebook there on the floor below the window.

Speaker 7 Okay.

Speaker 17 Is that important?

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 17 Why?

Speaker 2 Because almost everything in here is covered in blood, or at least has been spattered by it. That notebook has not.

Speaker 2 In fact,

Speaker 2 if I just...

Speaker 23 pick it up

Speaker 23 you see

Speaker 2 the notepad sat on top of blood.

Speaker 2 Dried blood, too, from the looks of it. This was left here sometime after the murder.

Speaker 34 Ah, could that be one of our officers, perhaps?

Speaker 29 Nope.

Speaker 2 It's a complimentary notepad from an airline. Ah.

Speaker 16 Someone came back in.

Speaker 11 Right, hold up.

Speaker 26 The door.

Speaker 10 The door is splintered here.

Speaker 34 And on the frame, too.

Speaker 2 Yeah, the wife said she had to kick the door in.

Speaker 23 It was locked.

Speaker 34 Locked from the inside, yeah?

Speaker 2 Yes, sir. If you could secure the area right outside that window there, make sure the forest floor remains untouched, please.

Speaker 11 Hopkins, yep, we'll do.

Speaker 23 Watson, yes, mate.

Speaker 2 I have a suspicion.

Speaker 2 Could you confirm it for me?

Speaker 12 Sure, what's up?

Speaker 2 Was this man murdered last night?

Speaker 10 All right, let me see.

Speaker 3 Oh, uh, yeah, some

Speaker 3 bloating, slight

Speaker 17 shades of green and uh

Speaker 27 yeah smell uh some purge fluid in the nostrils from the looks of it.

Speaker 6 Uh

Speaker 17 yeah, Black Peter here has been dead for

Speaker 10 I'd say two days.

Speaker 2 Yes, I thought the same.

Speaker 27 Yeah, I'd say not last night, the night before.

Speaker 2 It was a sunny morning yesterday, and today.

Speaker 2 There's very little forest cover east of this cabin, so it would have been warm enough to incubate the corpse.

Speaker 18 Yeah, agreed.

Speaker 2 The wife, she said he was gone for just last night, and she checked on him this morning. Then she's lying, officer.

Speaker 23 Right.

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 2 We have a few questions for her, then. So do I.

Speaker 2 Once I have answered some others.

Speaker 11 Like what?

Speaker 2 Like, how was a man murdered with a harpoon in a locked cabin? Who did it? And why did they leave a notepad written in Japanese under the window they crawled out of?

Speaker 18 Oh.

Speaker 2 Shall we get to work?

Speaker 13 To binge this adventure in full and without ads, go to patreon.com forward slash Sherlock and Co.

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