The Three Gables - Part One

Transcript

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Hi, and welcome to the Sherlock and Co. podcast with me, Mariana Metzatura.

And me, Sherlock Holmes. This is the Adventure of the Three Gables.
It's three parts. Check the episode description if you've got young kids or feel that some content may be upsetting.

Everything you need to know is in there. And And don't forget, you can get in touch.
Doc JWatsonMD on Twitter and Blue Sky, and Sherlock and Co. Pod, all one word, on Instagram and TikTok.

We'd love to hear from you. That was so good, Sherlock.
Was it? Mm-hmm. Perfect.
Perfect.

Jingle bells ringing in my ear.

Jingle bell is found.

Oh, you know what?

When I listened to

Sino 4 Part 9,

I realized something.

I don't have a fire extinguisher in the office. Right? And now?

Look.

Now you have one. Now I have one.
A Christmas present to myself. Facebook Marketplace, thank you very much.
Oh, I also got a dumb phone. A dumb phone? Yeah, a non-smart phone.

Just for some offline time. Got my old school texting sellback.

Are you really trying to send a message on that keypad? Ba-ba-ba-ba-hold on, hold on. And...

Done.

Hey, Charles. How are you?

TB. Means text back.
I know what it means. I'm older than you.
Facebook Marketplace, my friend. On the subject of your online activity, what is this post? Post.
This Instagram post you've done.

Oh, looking at my Instagram, are you?

Oh, no, that's...

that's not my Instagram, that's our Instagram. This post.
It's an invitation. Mm-hmm, yeah, to our Christmas party.
Well, not... Our Christmas party, goal hangers.
Goal hangers? Yeah, they...

they're our podcast producers. Are they now? It's at the Three Gables.
Why is a children's hospital hosting a Christmas party? No, no, no. It's a fundraiser type of party in their event space.

So I posted a picture of the invite, not like the time and date, but just to kind of,

I don't know, show people about this party and this cause. I see.

I'll get it. Yes, if you could.

I think John usually takes the microphone with him. Ah, of course, of course, yep, yep, yep.

Hello. Uh, hi, hi.
Oh, God. Um.

Is um.

Is Sherlock Holmes in? Please, please see him. He is.
Can.

Is is everything okay? Can we help you? Um it isn't. No, I just really need to to see him right now.
Oh, okay, okay, don't worry. He's in here.
Come in, come on. Thank you.
Thank you.

Come through.

He's just here. Sherlock?

Sherlock? Um, this man, he needs to see you. Oh, Buck.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Stop it. Not

it.

Stop.

Stop it.

Fuck it.

My name is Dr. John Watson.
Once of the British Army Northumberland Fusilier Regiment. Now, a true crime podcaster based in central London.

I don't have much experience in criminology, so this is mostly a record of how I met possibly the most brilliant and bizarre person I have ever and will ever know.

Join me as I document the adventures of Sherlock Holmes.

Slower than I remember, Steve.

You

get off him. Get off.

Oh, dear. Oh, dear, Steve.

Shut up.

Piss off. Oh, I'd love to piss off, Steve Dixie.
I really would.

Copy!

You can. It's just exceptionally painful.
Go-go-platted trope, Steve. You remember this one, surely.

I watched your fight in 2021 against Nestor Parolo, who worked this exact troke on you in the third round, didn't he, Steve? Oh boy, did it work a treat.

Steve, stop saying,

Steve!

Third round, Steve.

How embarrassing.

Lego, Lego, Lego.

Tell me who sent you, and I will.

Letting go and standing by

for the truth. Okay, okay, right.

Okay, right.

Just listen up, alright.

I

uh

had it under control. Yeah, sorry.
I was kinda late.

Steve?

Sorry, Steve. You hear that, Steve? She said she's sorry.
Shall we ask John to come take a look? No, no. I don't want to disturb him.
And believe me, this certainly is disturbing.

What do we do, then?

Steve.

Steve Dixie. Hello.
Hospital? I'm sure he'll be fine. There's blood coming out of his ears.
I'll get us a cab.

Tell me, tell me. For everybody watching at home, what gets Isadora Klein up in the morning?

What gets me up in the morning? Oh, wow.

Well, I...

A strong cup of coffee.

No, no.

I would say hunger. Hunger? I'm always hungry for something more.
And the second I wake up in the morning, I think,

how can we be better? How can we be bigger? How can we achieve what we what we achieve? What we

okay

shout out to um paulina in germany to dora and their cats lucy and frixos hi and a late happy 17th birthday to ezekiel from the philippines Wow, um shout out to uh Kennedy from their friend Michelle in Texas.

Wow, there are so many. How does John pick? Um Jasmine has requested a shout out for her boyfriend Pratik Sr.

in Toms River, New Jersey. Um shout out to Agat in Belgium, to Kiara and her mom, to Dr.
Dr. Mel Smart.

Wow, Dr. Smart.

Listening while, no doubt, gardening or doing DIY, driving along the south coast in her figaro. Aw, that's nice.
Uh, hi, Dr. Smart.

Oh my god. Okay, um, hi to Amy and family in Australia.
Wow, who just named their two new cats? Oh,

Dr. John Watson and Perlock Holmes.
Oh, oh, and they sent pictures.

Oh.

What are you doing here? I thought you were staying with Steve. Yes.
You wouldn't have happened to see him, would you? Um,

no. Bugger.
Quite the slippery character, that one. What is going on? How do you know this guy? Where is he? I'll answer those questions in order.

One, he's just climbed out of the consultation room window. Two, I know him because he's nearly always attached to low-level crimes in mostly South London.
And three,

I don't know where he is. You lost him? Yes, well, a likely outcome that I should have been more in tune to.
Why? Was he scared you'd hurt him more or something? Sherlock,

did you threaten him? No. Then what was he afraid of? That I'd get to the bottom of who sent him.
Sent him? Sent him? Sherlock, is this... Is this whole thing, like...

serious?

Because I don't think a certain...

you know who can handle something that serious right now. No, and Watson will stay out of it regardless.
However...

What?

I feel,

as I observe this potential case flowering before us, that it grew from a particular seed planted by yourself. By me?

I didn't do anything. Oh, but you did.

What did I do? This Instagram post.

So I posted the stupid Christmas party invite. Look, I'll delete it if it matters this much.
Oh, it doesn't matter to me, but it matters to somebody. The children it raises money for? Hmm.

Someone else. Are you serious? You posted the picture.
A man then came to incapacitate me. Oh, and I thought John was dramatic.
I'm not being dramatic.

I do that at the end of cases, not at the beginning. Well, it's a leap.
You are making a big leap. That's what I do.
I make leaps. Now, you may assist me on the case.
Oh, thanks. And

I feel the future John Watson will thank us enormously if you were to bring along.

that.

You want

me to bring the mic to the Christmas party?

I think that somebody doesn't want me there.

Oh.

Doesn't want you there, huh?

Indeed.

Like, in a social way, or or they just don't like you? I

know.

Not that they don't like me.

Who doesn't like me? No, no, I wasn't.

Go on. What were you saying? Unexpected item in bagging area.
Somebody connected to either the party before continuing. Or the building, or something.
Unexpected item in bagging area.

I can't concentrate with this bloody noise. Yeah, I- okay, okay.
I am paying, okay? Unexpected item in bagging area. Ooh, there is no item in the bagging area.
Can we go here?

Excuse me? Can we go here, please? London Christmas Market.

Uh, why? Are are we going to find enters here? No, but we we will find twinkly lights and other visual stimulation. Right.

Also,

Watson may feel warmed by its festive joy.

Perhaps. Festive joy.

You think festive joy is going to make him feel better?

Because I thought we were buying him these crisps and guinness to make him feel better. Unexpected item in bagging it.
Oh, I swear to God.

If he feels better, he'll attend the party. If he attends the party, I'm free to work the case uninterrupted.
And how does that work? I have no social expectation to mingle. Watson does it for me.

I can just get to work with your assistance. Is this what it's like with you on these things? Most of the time, yes.
Can we just...

Can we just work out why you were attacked in the office this morning, please? Steve Dixie is a retired MMA fighter.

Retired after too many concussions, too many disc ruptures, too many hip tears, too many tendon snaps, and too many defeats. A bad fighter and an even worse gambler.

He has no money, no hope, and no spine.

Figuratively, of course, but one or two bouts more and it could be literal. He was paid by somebody.
His phone received three messages in the waiting room.

I glimpsed one of them asking if it was done.

Who was it from? B.

S.

B. S.
As in like bullshit or? Just the letters BS. Right, okay.
But the party. Your account on Instagram.
Our account. That's fine.
Yes. Whatever.
It's public. The post was visible to everyone.

We can see from the story who viewed it. Right, yeah.

Look. There.
Barney Stockdale. Who is that? Barney Stockdale.

B.S.

Uh-huh. But who is he? His bio says very little.
But our friend Wiggins says very much. He's a crime junkie, according to the irregulars.

A crime junkie who was recently released early from prison, despite being convicted of attempted arson. Attempted arson.
My final piece of evidence to you?

Uh, it's a headline from five years ago. Read it.
Three Gables townhouse torched in arson attack. Oh my god.
Oh my god. But wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

But it's a hospital. After this fire, it was converted into the children's hospital, yes.
How

what is going on? Quite the coincidence. Bordering on the miraculous, don't you think?

What say you, Mariana?

Do you still believe in Christmas miracles? I

do not. Good.
Come to the Christmas market. I would like to get out and stretch my mind.

Stretch your mind, of course. Let's go.
Unexpected item in bagging area. Fine, fine.
Let's take him to the market.

We can get him stuff there.

Unexpected item in bagging area. Remove this item before continuing

unexpected item in bagging area

stupid microphone

i got it sherlock

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Hey.

I said, hey.

Enjoying the Christmas Christmas market? Uh, yeah.

Yeah, I got a bauble

for £6.50. And now my eyes hurt because I rolled them so hard when I saw the price come up on the tilt, got like a bugger headache put behind my eyes.
I got you something.

Is it six pounds and fifty pence, Marian Charles? No, no, it's... It's a hot chocolate.
Ah.

Thanks, Mariana. Take a sip? I will.
Go on, take a sip. Did you spit in it? Why are you so keen for me to take a sip? No, I did did not spit in it.
Oh.

It has Baileys in it. Oh.

Cool. Cool, cool.

Yeah.

Good stuff.

Festive alcohol abuse. Now we're talking.

You look stronger.

Well, I did eight press-ups yesterday morning, sir. I meant emotionally.

Right. Yeah, well.

That's bad. Remember to talk, okay?

To talk about her. To talk about you.

Yeah, I am.

I'm

just exhausted from it,

I think. A very flat

emotional battery from uh

yeah, from grief and guilt.

The two G's. Hey, it's not your fault.
Yeah, you can keep saying it, doesn't make it true. I am saying it because I know it's true, not because I want it to be true, John.

It's weird, because, like.

What's the time limit that you've known someone where grief and I don't know, pain is warranted? What do you mean?

How long did I really know her?

Yeah, I mean, how much time did I actually spend with her? Hours? No, it can be anything, John. It's about.

It's about the strength of the connection.

Sure. I'm serious.
It can be anything.

I never even met Michael Gambon, but it hurt when he died.

Wait, what? Michael Gambon is dead? Uh, yes.

When did this happen? Last year.

What?

Great. Great.
That's that's all I claudie need.

John,

she meant something to you.

That's all that matters.

I keep having this

thought.

It's

stronger than a thought, actually. It's like a

presence.

You know, like there's another universe out there where we're together. Me and

Mary.

Married, happy.

and planning date nights and babysitters and

yeah yeah, I can feel it just like

reaching through from another dimension or something. It's so it's

yeah, I

don't know.

Yeah,

I understand.

Have you had other

things on your mind at all?

Um, like

yeah, just usual

stupid, meaningless stuff.

Oh, yeah?

yeah

cases

cases yeah will that kind of um

help you you know to have other focuses uh yeah probably right sure look spoke to the people about the dundas case remember in in november yeah i don't i don't want any cases sorry

Or if if you want to do them, then you know you need to do them without me.

I appreciate you you recording stuff just in case something pops up, but this is uh this is a

this is a hiatus for me. Um,

yeah, just until like January or something.

Okay.

Oh, I am. I am recording now, I think.
Uh, yeah, see?

That's that's okay. Just

yeah, no cases.

Gracias, but no gracias.

Where's um

where's Sherlock gone? He's

stretching his mind.

What's he working on? Just a hint of a potential.

something.

Of course.

Doesn't Christmas just

make you sad? No, it it makes me happy. Well maybe it makes makes me happy too.
It just, you know, doesn't.

Doesn't being happy make you you sad?

So I don't want to bring you down. No, no, hey, come on.

I'm here for you, okay?

Okay.

I recorded some shout-outs. Ah, cool.
Cool.

Have you been checking the emails? I've forgot. Mm-hmm.
I have, yes. Thanks.
You miss people. I know it doesn't feel like you do, but you do.

Yeah, I know. They charge you up.
In a good way. You are the people person, John.
It's not just something sherlock uses you for it's something that really means the world to you

so on that note and uh now that i've sweetened you up with the hot chocolate and baileys

there's a potential social thing yeah no not sure sorry i know i know you would rather watch netflix documentaries in your pants nearly ran out to be honest just finished one on isadora klein absolute bottom-of-the-barrel streaming options now.

Well, maybe that's a sign. You will like this social thing, I promise.
Pretty sure I won't. It's the Goalhanger Christmas party.
At the Three Gables? That's the hospital. Mm-hmm.

Their fundraising event space. Right.

Okay, wow. Uh.

Yeah, um.

I don't know. I'm sorry.
Um.

In fact, no, I do. I do know.

It's a no. Gary Lineker is gonna be there.
But it doesn't say formal, does it? No one said anything about it being formal. No.
Then why are you owning my shirt? Because I'm being nice to you. Oh.

Because you've been through a lot and you're my friend. Oh.
And because watching you try made me crazy, so yes, now I'm ironing your shirt.

Am I expected to converse with people at this stupid thing? Because I really.

Why are you topless?

Are we no longer attending? We are, we are, we are. Mariana is just ironing my shirt.
Oh.

Is it formal?

Yeah, it's complicated.

Is it formal or not? No one has said it's formal. So it's not formal.
Um, for goodness sake. Oh, I don't have the energy to explain this one.

Just because they don't expect formal doesn't mean you shouldn't dress formally.

Getting a bit nippy in here, isn't it? I will wear black trousers with a black roll neck.

Are you planning on robbing the place? No. That is what I want to wear.

Yeah.

Yeah, fine. Wear what you want to wear.
But if it is formal. I completely appreciate what you're trying to say.
I know.

It's a weird social thing, but ultimately, men shouldn't be forced to wear shirts and ties. Yeah, we're an equal society now, and old school gender roles mean nothing.
Here, ironing finished. Thanks.

Hey. What?

What are you doing? You left the mic on. Yes, I want it on.
Why? Because of potential cases. Right? They might come up and.
I told you I'm not doing it. Yes, yes, I know, I know.

And I told you that I am. Yeah, I don't mean I'm being lazy, Mariana.
I mean that I don't want to do it. Full stop.
The end.

I will switch it off. Okay?

You... you go finish getting ready.
Hmm?

Hmm. Okay, there we go.

You didn't switch it off. I know.
Shh.

You okay?

A little itchy. I'm talking to John.

Uh, yeah, I'm I'm okay.

I've just got those

pre-socializing nerves. You know, like when you're 15 and you're gonna go drinking under the skate ramp at the park, you know? I mean, not really, but sure, sure.
Oh, speaking of, I got a dump phone.

Oh.

Wow, like an old school Nokia. You like it? I do.
I do.

Hmm. Alright, let's see if I've still got my old texting style down.

Yes.

Oh, it's like it never left me. I'm using it over Christmas.
Stops me checking emails and stuff. Good idea.
Good idea.

Oh.

Ooh. Nerves.

Hey, it's okay. Just feel

really delicate.

Um.

Should have a really big fragile sticker on my forehead. They know, though, right? What? Goal hanger.

People at the party, they know about everything that happened. Of course, of course, yeah, that they listen to the show, John.
Yeah, no, of course.

Of course.

I think that's half the reason I

don't want the mic with us.

You know?

I feel like the slightest

challenge, and I will just

not fall apart, but it's not exactly shine either.

Yeah, we'll take it on the chin. I get that.

Thank you

for

switching the mic off,

giving us this break.

It means a lot.

Oh, that's okay.

What? Nothing. Just the Christmas lights are so pretty out there.
Yeah.

I think it best you head down Bedford Gardens. Sorry? It'll be much quicker.

Huh?

If you don't utilise Bedford Gardens, then you'll run into the traffic heading onto Kensington High Street.

And there we go. We run into the traffic heading onto Kensington High Street.
Just a bit of traffic here heading onto Kensington High Street. Ugh.

You okay? Uh

not much has really changed since you asked a few minutes ago.

Of course.

So the three gables. Hey, that's

nice. They get the money from the venue hire and the drinks and stuff.
That's good. Yeah.
Yeah, it's very nice. Swanky event room, too, judging by the invite.

Swanky bar, balcony looking over Kensington.

Come a long way, haven't we?

We have, we have.

Way to go looking on the bright side. Thanks.
Do you want a code word? A code word? Yeah.

You know, if the party gets too much and you just want to.

What was that? That was an ejector seat. Like...

Right.

Okay, yeah.

No, it's a puh.

Didn't get that, so. Sorry.

Yeah, code word.

How about jingle bells? Jingle bells? Yeah.

Yeah, if you hear me use the term jingle bells, we are heading straight out. No goodbyes, just

gone.

Home for a Christmas film and some more Baileys. George Bailey and a glass of Baileys.
Sure. Jingle bells it is.

Thank you, mate. Thank you.

Uh, what is wrong with you?

You don't need to know. Yes, I do need to know.
Okay, let's just make our way inside and ignore what just happened. Sherlock dragged us out of a cab, Mariana.
That's what just happened.

He was taking us on a different route, so I switched cabs. Switch cab? That was traffic.
Yeah, I still paid for that on the app, mate. Look, the app.
There. See? How did you get my phone?

Whilst you were messing around with hers. You didn't even pay attention to car and license plate.
Look. What? The app says a black Toyota.
That was a silver Hyundai. Oh.

Yeah, that's weird. Yet another attempt to thwart my presence at this venue.
Sherlock? Hmm?

Ah, right. Yes.
Probably just a little mix-up with the app. Onwards? For a night of festive, fundraising folly.

Ah, wow.

Beautiful building. The three gables, yes.

There it is. I love that they turned this into a children's hospital.
I love that. Someone tried to burn this place down a few years ago.
Did you know that? Oh,

did they now?

How fascinating. I did not know that.
A lot of fire damage. And then it got converted.

Yeah, stick with me and you might learn something every now and again. It's very intense architecture, yes.

Gothic revival, built in 1832, a members' club for the richest of the rich, once upon a time. A popular thing in that year.
How so? The Reform Act. It gave middle-class men the vote.

Not something that the patrons of this place would have been all that pleased with. Well,

not something working-class men would have been all that pleased with, either, I imagine. Or women, yeah, sure, them too.
Shall we? Sure, ladies first?

But not in voting, right?

Apparently not.

Welcome, grape walnut and lardin'-spice Christina. Um, yeah.

Hmm.

That's good, huh? Oh, well, I'll let the caterer know. Hey, Mariana, this Christmas elfman has some good stuff here.

See, you like this kind of thing. Uh-huh.
Wouldn't go that far. Nice outfit.
Oh, thank you. Say hi to Santa for me.

I will. I will.
Thank you.

Okay, well, quite busy.

I thought you'd be here. Sorry? Sherlock and Co.

You must be the co.

Ah, haha.

Yeah, yeah. That's us.
And Sherlock here, of course.

I'd love to pick your brain. I'd rather you didn't.
He's not always that great with the fan. Nothing, nothing personal.

I'll keep a safe distance. Well, you're rather close right now.
Sorry. Lovely to meet you.
Thanks, you two.

We probably should have held on to her. I'm kind of

looking out for familiar faces. Yeah, me too.
Maybe Neil is here somewhere. Our producer.
Yeah, I know his face, at least. Oh, God, look.
Christmas karaoke.

No, no, thank you. Don't let me drink too much.
I'll be up there doing my nutty holder.

Hey, let Sherlock come. He probably saw karaoke and freaked out.
Well, doesn't he know the code word? Yeah, I uh.

No, I can't see him. Great.
Well, we can always ask at lost property when we leave. Uh, well, I need to head to the bar.
I will join you.

Excuse me, sorry. Thank you.

Okay, can I just squeeze button? Thank you. Yep.
Oh, thanks. Okay.
Right. Wow.
It's busy. Yeah.
It's probably an open bar, that's why. Oh, crap, it's Richard Osmond.
Don't make eye contact. What?

What? Why not? Hi, John. Ah, hi, Richard.
Merry Christmas. Glad tidings.
Yes, yeah, to you too, mate. Merry Christmas.
Now, how's things with the good doctor? Uh, yeah. Hey, Mold.

Hey, Mold. Uh, this is Mariana.
Hi, Mariana. Hi.
Mariana, this is Richard Osmond. Oh, hello.
Nice to meet you. What, um, uh, what do you do, Richard? Aha, loads.
Loads.

And we don't really have enough time for him to answer that, to be honest. Sorry, Richard, I was just in front there.
Oh, of course, yeah. No problem.

Still doing crime? Uh, I don't do crime, Richard. Solve it.
Of course, absolutely. Me too.
Well. Hmm? Do you? Yes.
You solve crime. Yeah, I solve crime, yeah.
Yeah, not sure about that, but yeah.

Anyhow, great to see you, Richard. Just gonna...
Alright, who's next? Yeah, hi, mate.

Could I get a Guinness and vodka soda water with lime? And the Chablis, please. What? It's an open bar, John.
Just get him the drink. Alright, fine.
And the glass of the Chablis, please. Thanks, John.

Yeah. That's £11, mate.
I thought it was an open bar. Not from the wine list, mate.
Alright, fine. Can you just give him a house white or something? I'm all out.
Sorry. Great.
It's wonderful.

There you go, Richard. All for a good cause.
Lovely. Thank you, John.
Good to see you. Just gonna go mingle.
Yeah, of course. Say hi to Steven Spielberg for me.

Sake.

He seems nice. Oh, the guy that just stole 11 quid off me.
Sure. Well, I didn't hear you say jingle bells, so it couldn't have been that bad.
Calamari toast. Ah, hell yeah.
Mariana.

Christmas tree lady has calamari toast. Oh, cool feet.
They're present? Very clever. Thank you.
You having some?

I'm actually gonna go find Sherlock. Yeah, good idea.
Good idea. I can see Neil, so I'm just gonna go chat mailbag stuff with him.
Great. See you in a sec.
If you hear a man scream jingle bells,

that'll be you. Yeah, yeah.
Oh, God, this calamari slows down.

Okay, Sherlock, where are you? Where are you?

Hey, it's Mariana. Hi, hello, hello, hello.
Merry Christmas.

Hi, there you are. Here I am.

Yet, if they'd had it their way, I'd be in the toilet. You'd you'd be in the toilet? Look.

Oh, it's a festive she's kebab. Yes.

Do you see any others? Amongst the partygoers? I don't. Maybe they're so good people ate them right away.
No. This particular hors d'oeuvre looks like it was just for me.

Oh, yeah, the little penny pieces on it. Yes, indeed.
And now I need to track down the member of staff that thrusted it into my hand. Um, why? Why not just eat it? Because of these prawns.

What about them? Look, shell casing is loose. That's because the meat is decomposing.
See the blue spots? That's mold. Never mind keeping me in the toilet all night.

I would be out for nearly a week if I ingested this thing. And take a sniff.
I'd rather not. Exactly.

Somebody really, really doesn't want you here. Yes.

And this man has the answer.

Follow me. Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Okay.

Oh, boy. Excuse me.
Hold the lift. Up, up, up, up, hold it, hold it, hold it, please.

Thank you.

We made it. Yeah, yeah.
Uh, what floor? Um,

the same.

Floor four. Oh, great.
Yep. Yep.

Excellent party. Yes, very good.
And the hospital part.

That's all soundproofed, I hope. Soundproofed.
I hope so.

I hope so. Have you been working in these kinds of events for long? Um, they just come up every now and again.
Sort of seasonal. Mm-hmm.
Yes. Busy time of year.
Absolutely. Yep.
Yep.

Oh, by the way, you must try this. Oh, the festive Shish Kebab.
Absolutely delightful. Shish you a Merry Christmas, it says on the little label here.
How sweet. Oh, so, so good.

Uh, yes, looks very nice.

Here, you must try the prawn.

Try the prawn. There.
Ever so succulent. Wouldn't you agree, Mariana? Oh, truly divine.

I can't. I'm working.
We're in a lift. No one will see.
I'm actually.

No, I'm not completely.

I'm not hungry, to be honest, because we're fairly certain I heard a little stomach grumbling when we first came into this lift. Now, here, try.
No! Wow. Goodness.
Aren't some people rude? So rude.

Why don't you want it? Because I.

Look,

I don't want it. I'm trying to work.
Is there something wrong with with it? No, I'm just- I'm just-I'm-I'm allergic. Ah, he's allergic.
Oh. Hmm.
I see. I sympathize.
I have allergies of my own.

In fact,

I feel as if I'm having somewhat of a reaction right now.

I'm

allergic to lies, you see.

And when I'm exposed to them,

I get irritable and short-tempered. And I have been known to even break out in bouts of violence.

Please, please, please, please, please, please. Where is he?

Please. Where is Barney Stockdale?

Please.

He's here, isn't he?

Where? Balcony! On the fourth floor.

Take me to him.