The Resident Patient - Part One

CRM was supposed to improve customer relationships.

Instead, it's shorthand for customer rage machine.

Your CRM can't explain why a customer's package took five detours?

Reboot your inner piece and scream into a pillow.

It's okay.

On the ServiceNow AI platform, CRM stands for something better.

AI agents don't just track issues, they resolve them, transforming the entire customer experience.

So breathe in and breathe out.

Bad CRM was then.

This is ServiceNow.

This podcast is supported by Progressive, a leader in RV Insurance.

RVs are for sharing adventures with family, friends, and even your pets.

So if you bring your cats and dogs along for the ride, you'll want Progressive RV Insurance.

They protect your cats and dogs like family by offering up to $1,000 in optional coverage for vet bills in case of an RV accident, making it a great companion for the responsible pet owner who loves to travel.

See Progressive's other benefits and more when you quote RV Insurance at Progressive.com today.

Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates, pet injuries, and additional coverage and subject to policy terms.

Honey, punches of votes is the forma perfecta dependency familia.

Cono juelas crucientes and verad qual niños les encantas.

Ademas delicios os trosos de granola nuces y fruta que todos vanadis frutad.

Honey punches de votes for todos, todal bener para sabermás.

For just six pounds a month, binge ad-free adventures in full and have access to so much more over at patreon.com forward slash Sherlock and Co.

Co.

Howdy?

Trying out a howdy there, see if that sticks.

I need a catchphrase, really, don't I?

Do I?

Maybe, don't know.

Anyway, welcome.

Dr.

John Watson here, and delivering you this three-part conundrum that is the resident patient.

It's got gross bits, weird bits and spooky bits.

More details about the contents in the episode description, along with links to cool stuff like the Patreon and the shop

and the Twitter.

And yeah, enjoy part one of the resident patient.

And yeah, that's on.

Hey, there she flows.

How did, uh, what what was what was wrong with it?

Is it water damage?

Or because I um I tried to clean it.

It was circuitry, yeah, so that could point to damage.

But I mean, that could be from anything.

You ever dropped it before?

About 16 times, yeah.

Wow, right.

Okay,

yeah, so that's your issue then.

The circuitry is encased in a

well, this is your old one.

Neodymium shell allows for a little memory on the device for the basic functions.

That's why you were getting inferior recording data.

Of course, of course.

Some would say, I uh I've always had inferior recording data.

Because the podcast I make.

Yeah, I get it.

My name is Dr.

John Watson, once of the British Army Northumberland Fusilier Regiment, now a true crime podcaster based in central London.

I don't have much experience in criminology, so this is mostly a record of how I met possibly the most brilliant and bizarre person I have ever and will ever know.

Join me as I document the adventures of Sherlock Holmes.

When?

What time would you estimate?

I'd say he died

What were we at now?

Six.

He died at around

maybe 3 a.m.

He's just getting some stiffening now in his legs and arms, definitely some in his cheeks and jowls.

Still some slight body warmth, very, very little behind his neck, under his arms.

So

yeah, three hours dead, I'd say.

Very good.

I concur.

Always feel bad when the road gets shut.

Especially this time of morning.

I mean, I know he's dead and everything, but they've got to go.

I mean, what do you reckon?

They go back up that way, because that's a one-way.

So then back up onto the North Circuit.

It's a nightmare.

Honestly, absolute nightmare.

I mean, obviously, worse to be the dead bloke in the middle of the road, but still.

One thing I will point out:

eyes and skin.

I'm listening.

Broken blood vessels in his eyes.

Yes.

And the blue skin, you've asphyxiation on your hands, potentially, I'd say.

Blood vessels would have gone pop from intravascular pressure.

But no signs of strangulation.

No, yeah, that's.

that's where my analysis kind of hits a dead end.

Curious.

What's his speaking of blood?

We have no blood spatter here on the road, and he hasn't bled out.

Right, so moved?

Body has been moved, indeed.

It was a hit and run.

A collision with a vehicle we think that was going around 55.

55

Unfortunately.

For you, of course, not for me.

This is very satisfying, but unfortunately for you, I don't think that's correct, officer.

The car wasn't the cause of death.

The tire print.

Look at it.

Still visible under his neck, mate.

What are you doing?

Taking another look at the wounds.

Bruising to the ribs is...

No more than a couple of inches wide.

There's no safety glass on the road.

Well, if the car hit him, I don't know, waist height, which I mean, that's possible.

Does he have a broken hip or fractured pelvis?

Um,

yeah, both.

Hips, definitely.

Yep, I can feel it.

Hips don't lie, mate.

Let me see.

Hmm.

Yes.

Same again.

Narrow, blunt force impact.

Not something a car would do.

But let me think.

Maybe like the grille of a Range Rover.

They've got those

bar-like protrusions, maybe a couple of inches thick, I'd say.

Nah, not the new ones.

Not the new ones, no, no.

I think they're probably ten years old now.

You know, the kind of car that Wayne Rooney used to drive.

Might still drive one, I don't know.

Old Range Rover, yes, possibly.

But there is a compelling new piece of evidence.

Oh, is there?

Yes.

Since when?

Since just this second.

What is it?

I just found it.

Yeah, but what is it?

There's a condom on his penis.

There's a condom on the man's penis.

Uh,

let me see.

Oh.

Oh, indeed.

Why.

Why has he got a condom on?

For protection.

Against

a ranged rover?

Against sexually transmitted diseases.

Or perhaps fathering children to another man's wife.

Sorry, could you just go over that again?

This man was discovered naked.

Oh, a hare here, too.

I assure you, he wasn't discovered naked.

Not by you.

I'd say by a man that was wielding a cricket bat at around three o'clock this morning.

I would venture, judging by the lack of discharge in the condom, that our dear friend here was mid-intercourse with a blonde woman.

Natural blonde from the looks of this hair on him, but can't be sure.

It is rather dark.

When his assailant struck.

First here, square in the back, causing a very severe spinal fracture.

A number of vertebrae ruptured.

Here.

Here.

And listen to this one.

Here.

Our man here, no doubt winded and in shock, rolls away from his engagement and off the bed, square onto the right side of his face.

Note this carpet burn here.

With his head on the floor and his feet on the bed, his vulnerability is maximized to his attacker.

A downward sweeping blow from the cricket bat comes crashing into the back of the man's neck here,

Blowing out and fracturing the back of his skull.

And there's your intravascular pressure.

Well observed, Doctor.

Thank you, Detective.

You know, you really are talented at this.

I know.

When I pay attention, honestly, I really am a dab hand.

High five?

Uh, sorry, what exactly are we high-fiving here?

The guy's airway collapsed, so...

Yeah, pretty cool.

Right.

Yeah, no, so sorry, I should be more clear.

The impact of that hit to the back of his head would have caused bleeding into his throat and neck.

That fills with blood, swells, blocks your windpipe.

The guy couldn't breathe, so he died.

Correct.

A few beatings later, the assailant realises what he has done.

He hastily redresses our friend here, forgetting the condom, but also putting his shirt on back to front.

He drives for a period of time and dumps this man out in the road and runs over his upper abdomen with his car.

Well, we'll we'll search his phone, we'll find the messages with the girl and we'll track down the killer.

Excellent work, Mr.

Rholmes.

No problem at all.

Always nice to be up to see the sunrise.

Even better to do so with a murder.

Oh, uh-and-officer, if our friend the cricketer has a car with...

Let me check the pattern here.

Yes, that's the one.

With Michelin Pilot Sport 5225-40R18 tires.

He's your man.

Yeah, of course.

Yeah.

Thanks again.

Bye.

No.

Bye.

Thank you.

Do we just leave?

He's gone.

He's...

Yep.

Well,

there you go.

There you go.

Enjoy yourself?

Absolutely.

Breakfast time?

Certainly.

What is that?

It's the Titanic breakfast.

Why is that?

Because the sausages are sinking into the ocean of beans?

No, because it's big.

I see that.

Two sausages, two bacon, two egg, beans, mushrooms, hash browns, fried bread, black pudding.

I can see that.

Yeah, but the listeners can't, can they?

Talk us through your breakfast.

I have an omelette with cheese, hand and toast.

Are you gonna butter the toast?

No.

Why not?

Because it's too cold now and the butter won't melt.

And you don't like that?

No.

Okay, right, fair enough.

Want to clink teas?

Um, yes, fine.

Cheers.

Cheers.

To the dead condom man.

Your fork is stuck to the microphone.

Oh!

Yeah, look at that.

I got it repaired the other day.

Now it's all magnetic.

Magnetic content, nobody.

Am I right?

How is it magnetic?

Oh, we are, aren't we?

Opposites attract and all that sort of thing.

I suppose.

I wouldn't necessarily say we're opposites.

Why not?

Well,

I'm just...

neurodiverse and you're not.

Yeah, opposite.

It's not the opposite.

Why?

It's just a variation.

We're parallels, Watson.

Not opposites.

Alright, yeah, good point.

Good point.

Different paths, same destination.

Sort of thing.

Oh, no, the beans have flooded the eggs.

What's wrong with you?

Just...

a little bored.

You just solved the murder?

Yes, but

I fear I may have solved it a little too quickly.

Well, not for the police.

Or for the victim.

Or for the victim's family, mate.

Or for the people stuck on the A406.

You know, give yourself some credit.

Oh, I give myself credit.

But now I'm just bored.

Oh, cheer up, for God's sake.

You've got your omelette.

You've got your cup of tea.

You've got the high of solving crime.

Murder.

As well, you know, not just any old crime.

That was ages ago.

That was...

Literally, Sherlock.

Literally 27 minutes ago.

Maybe I should have dragged it out.

Dragged what out?

The investigation.

Yeah, no, don't do that.

Why?

Because people get funny about it in the reviews.

Are you

not gonna eat?

Not hungry.

Well, when you ordered.

Yes.

Well, I'm not anymore.

Ugh.

This country, honestly.

What now?

Look at that.

Crime rates down year on year.

Sherlock.

Makes me sick.

Sherlock.

You don't want to see the murder rates.

Just downright depressing.

Minimal.

Look at that.

In the 70s there.

Oh, to be around back then.

Sherlock.

What?

Take a breath.

Calm down.

It doesn't matter.

There's always cases.

I want mystery.

I want intrigue.

And I want it now.

I say, you sound just like the bloody listeners.

Just wait.

Be patient.

It will turn up.

Where?

When?

221b Baker Street.

It always does.

Eat your omelet.

Good to see you again.

Thank you, Bosch.

Have a good.

Who is that?

In the network.

Irregular.

Indeed.

Starting to get busy now.

Hmm?

Rush out.

This road, honestly, look at it.

Chain restaurant, chain restaurant, chain restaurant, corner shop, souvenirs, which are basically just fridge magnets.

And then, oh, look at that.

Chain restaurant.

You eat at all those places.

Well, I'm not saying I don't like them.

But yeah, but where's the independence?

You know, the independent spirit.

Right there.

Where?

There.

Ah, yeah.

Course.

221B.

Yes, we are independent.

Good point.

No.

The gentleman stood outside it.

Oh, yeah.

Who's he?

He's a doctor with his own independent medical practice, I'd say.

No, way.

Way.

You got that just from looking at him.

Correct.

You are heading for another high five at this rate.

Incredible, mate.

Thanks.

Not Philabrotherin.

Sorry, what?

Tell me how you came to that conclusion.

Oh.

The man is wearing crocs.

Doctors will often preference comfortable shoes.

But he's also wearing a Monclair coat that would retail at around 1500, two grand.

So he's private.

Yeah, but I don't think latest generation Apple phone, latest generation Apple AirPods, but not the Apple Watch.

Why?

I don't know.

Because he wants a watch with a visible and reliable second hand.

Measuring pulses.

Bingo,

keep your eyes on his hands.

What else do you note?

That you may be far-sighted, because I can't tell anything about his hands from here.

Well-kept nails, as he absolutely should in his profession, but drying and irritated skin on the palms due to a repeated use of hand sanitizer.

Correct.

Come along.

Doctor, sorry to keep you waiting.

Let's get you in, and you'll be off to your private practice in Harley Street in no time.

Brook Street, actually,

bugger.

Your sausage mcmuffin with egg didn't change.

Your receipt did.

The sausage mcmuffin with egg extra value meal includes a hash brown and a small coffee for just $5.

Only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Prices and participation may vary.

Attention, all small biz owners.

At the UPS store, you can count on us to handle your packages with care.

With our certified packing experts, your packages are properly packed and protected.

And with our pack and ship guarantee when we pack it and ship it we guarantee it because your items arrive safe or you'll be reimbursed visit the ups store.com slash guarantee for full details most locations are independently owned product services pricing and hours of operation may vary see center for details the ups store be unstoppable come into your local store today chronic migraine 15 or more headache days a month each lasting four hours or more can make me feel like a spectator in my own life botox onobotulinum toxin a prevents headaches in adults with chronic migraine It's not for those with 14 or fewer headache days a month.

It's the number one prescribed branded chronic migraine preventive treatment.

Prescription Botox is injected by your doctor.

Effects of Botox may spread hours to weeks after injection, causing serious symptoms.

Alert your doctor right away, as difficulty swallowing, speaking, breathing, eye problems, or muscle weakness can be signs of a life-threatening condition.

Patients with these conditions before injection are at highest risk.

Side effects may include allergic reactions, neck, and injection, side pain, fatigue, and headache.

Allergic reactions can include rash, welts, asthma symptoms, and dizziness.

Don't receive receive Botox if there's a skin infection.

Tell your doctor your medical history, muscle or nerve conditions, including ALS Lugerick's disease, myasthenia gravis or Lambert Eaton syndrome, and medications, including botulinum toxins, as these may increase the risk of serious side effects.

Why wait?

Ask your doctor, visit BotoxchronicMigraine.com, or call 1-800-44-Botox to learn more.

Where did you study, Percy?

King's College.

Oh, nice.

What about yourself?

I was at London University, then a bit at Bart.

Cool, yeah.

Good stuff.

Yeah, yeah.

I had a bit of a love-hate relationship with study and hard work and applying myself.

So, yeah, referred to Netley for Army surgeon.

But you got an MD postgraduate?

I did, eventually, yeah.

Yeah, through the Army, they placed me on the courses.

Great.

Yeah.

Sherlock will be in in a second.

He's probably just getting comfortable.

Yeah, sure.

Sure.

How did you hear about us?

Google?

Or through a friend?

Google.

Yeah.

Cool.

Cool.

Search engine optimization is working well then.

You were quite far down, actually.

Oh.

Still?

Here you are.

Here I am.

Yep.

He'll be here any second.

It'll be fine.

Things will start slow and gentle.

You won't feel a thing, just a little prick.

But enough about me.

No, yeah, um, yeah, no, he'll he'll go easy.

He won't want to unsettle you too much or anything like that.

You are deeply disturbed, Dr.

Trevelyan, are you not?

Oh, maybe he will.

It's Percy, please.

Fine, but you dodged the main thrust of my statement.

Right, yes.

I suppose I did.

Well, I wouldn't call it a problem as such, but a position I find

myself

in.

A troublesome troublesome benefactor?

How did you know that?

How do you think?

I, of course, would love to answer and brag, as my companion here calls it, but I think it might do you the world of good to analyse it on yourself,

under your own esteem.

Um

how would you know?

A troublesome benefactor.

Um well, I'm young.

You are indeed.

So you'd probably be thinking he's young and he runs his own practice.

That's a bit unusual.

Mm-hmm.

Correct.

Chugging along nicely now, aren't we?

Uh so yeah, I'm here and I'm probably coming across

nervous and stressed and agitated.

Yes.

You keep working away at that dryness on your wrist.

You're also tapping your foot at quite a rate and your breaths.

I'd say we're close to 40 a minute, Doctor.

Not good.

Not good at all.

But please, continue.

Yeah, so

you know, I'm young and stressed, and I have my own practice.

How did I get my own practice at such a young age?

Well, it would have been some kind of golden opportunity.

That would involve a rich benefactor.

Yes.

And there we go.

We have arrived at Deduction Junction.

And now, all our little observations may leave the carriage.

Right, yeah.

Um, Sir Percy, do you want to maybe give us um

give us a rundown of what's what's going on in your life, basically?

Yeah, so I...

Sorry, I'm just just gonna have a sim of water.

Yeah, go for it.

So yes, I did rather well in my schooling.

I put together some well-supported research on Parkinson's disease and epilepsy, looking chiefly at a symptom they both share, which is catalepsy.

The well, as you know, doctor, and you too no doubt, Mr.

Holmes, the freezing, the muscle rigidity of limbs, sometimes of the whole body, their immobility, their response, or lack thereof to external stimuli.

Yeah, so I put together a study into this, and actually, in the last year, I developed a program of treatments that would reduce the risk of catalyptic seizures.

Sorry, this is an enormous backstory, isn't it?

No, no, it's no problem, Percy.

Take your time.

So I was about to switch hospitals, actually, and I was contacted by a man, Avery Blessington.

He was, well, he is elderly.

87, to be exact.

He has lived with cataleptic seizures for most of his adult life.

And he found that they'd been getting worse over recent years, since 10-15 years ago or so.

And essentially,

he knew of the treatments, the program that I had developed.

How?

These things get around, especially to well-off sufferers like this.

They're constantly searching for groundbreaking studies and new medicines.

And yeah, very much ear to the ground for his condition.

And he took me out for a coffee.

We had a chat and he asked where I was going to work.

And I told him St.

Thomas and he sort of tuttered or something, I can't remember.

He just

didn't seem impressed, put it that way.

And he couldn't, he just couldn't believe I wasn't working solely in neurology.

And then he talked me up a bit like that and eventually told me about his history, his background.

Which is...

Business,

Shipping and logistics, transportation type stuff.

But yeah, he retired early due to his condition, essentially.

Spent a lot of time and money looking for a cure, I suppose.

That, or a comfortable life.

And so we finished our coffee, and he wanted to take me to Brook Street to show me something.

I made a point that a doctor's spare time is few and far between and he told me it would be worth it in honest.

And yeah, we pull up at 403 Brook Street.

And yes, he just says, this is one of my buildings.

He had a few in the area, and he mentioned that he was at a fork in the road with it.

Might sell it,

might have it leased, or whatever.

And then he says, that was until I read your work.

And I'm like, oh yeah, cool, great.

And he goes, I've registered the company, the Trevelyan Institute.

Wow.

Yeah.

And I just sort of stood there.

And he's like, well, he opens the door.

I didn't even need proof because you can just tell when someone is loaded.

And he opens the door.

I mean, it's incredible.

It's an incredible place.

Here, there's some pictures.

Look.

God, blindly big.

Bloody big.

Alright.

Jordan?

Mm-hmm.

Very high ceilings.

Yeah.

Vast.

Imagine having to change the light light bulbs there.

Bloody hell.

So he sponsored your practice.

Yeah.

I don't think that is as remarkable as you make out, Percy.

Huh?

Really?

Yes.

As you pointed out, you excelled academically.

You excelled in research.

You're young and driven.

I don't think it's unreasonable for a man of his means to outlay such an investment.

Yeah, I I know.

I I suppose I'd agree with you there, but there were some conditions to the institute.

The clinic, as we call call it.

Go on.

Mr.

Blessington was to be a resident patient.

Right.

He was going to live on the upper floor, and I was going to care for him.

Administer his treatment, along with some nurse practitioners and occasional freelance doctors as and when I needed the extra pair of hands.

Yeah.

A little bit weird.

Having a lot of money opens up options to all manner of indulgences that, yes, would seem weird to those without those sums.

But the man is very ill and wishes to live comfortably.

But I know that's not what troubles you, Doctor.

That's right.

We, um.

It's all been a bit of a whirlwind, really.

I'm well paid.

He insisted on that.

More in your brains than in your pocket, he says, all the time, even now.

And it's a private practice, so Avery does receive the profits, of course.

But unlike my mates from Uni, who are doctors as well, I'm paid well, I'm looked after, I have a social life.

So what is the problem?

Remember the robbery in Cavendish Square two months ago?

The break-in?

Yes.

Nothing was taken.

Was it not?

No.

Oh.

Well, it was the morning after that.

There was a few police milling around, as it's only a stone's throw from us.

One of the nurses said that an officer had come by to ask questions because we obviously have 24-hour staff in and we do shifts, so someone may have spotted something or heard something or whatever but he

Avery that is

he was so

he was crazed he was just ranting like nothing else about security and that policing isn't good enough it's too dangerous we could get robbed and all this and even

well we suddenly get a delivery and it's all new bolts and locks for the windows and doors and everything.

He's ordered it.

And what Well I went up to him.

I said, Avery, we don't need to do this.

But he wasn't having any of it.

He got four contractors to come round and fix them.

We had someone for bloody, what's it called?

Like an alarm, security alarm people.

He'd replaced all the security alarms.

Got a brand new system.

It's Fort Knox, honestly.

There's two codes just to get into the lobby.

Every bloody window, you touch it, and there's lights and alarms, and just

I mean...

Like, I know it's safe.

But this is a clinic for very vulnerable people.

So he was deeply perturbed by the break-in.

Yeah.

His stress levels increased significantly.

And his seizures became a little too tough to control.

But

we got through it.

The weeks passed and...

Although we spotted him plenty of times, just sort of staring out the window and checking the locks,

he managed to simmer down and get back to his everyday self, really.

Resumed his normal habits.

And then two days ago, Monday,

Avery was out of the house, out of the clinic.

Call it what you will.

What was he doing?

Physiotherapy.

He doubled the amount of sessions as we were seeing some good results.

The facility he uses has an excellent hydrotherapy suite, so they take him there for a bit.

He was out the house, and when he came back, I was busy with the patient.

Anyway,

he headed up to his room,

and then I just hear him absolutely thundering down the stairs.

Bang, bang, bang.

He comes into my office, nearly rips the door off its hinges, breaks the window on it, and he's just like, who the fuck has been in my room?

What is going on?

F this, F that?

This is a disgrace.

Are you trying to get me killed you

well i i won't say what he said just absolutely off the rails could there be an episode as it were i mean

it can of course it can patients develop strong traumatic responses to this catalepsy is a difficult condition to live with seizures do damage

but yeah

Nightmare.

He was and has been extremely, extremely difficult since something about the place.

Now that I work late at night, it

well it feels

off.

There is

a presence,

attention.

I feel like there's eyes on me all the time.

Okay.

I feel like there's

movements.

Late at night.

And this is just in the last 48 hours.

Yeah, I think so.

It's been such a weird couple of days.

I don't know.

I'm...

Well, maybe I need a break or something.

Things are...

What's that?

What do they say?

Things going bump in the night.

Like...

haunted.

I mean,

yeah, maybe you do need a break.

Yes, it certainly won't be ghosts.

I know that.

I know.

But

Avery seems to think

something is coming.

A curse?

A dark grudge?

But I mean, what can I do?

I refer him out the clinic and...

well, I lose my clinic, don't I?

We can't really...

We're not counselors.

No, no, of course.

I'm here to ask your help on the possible break-in.

And hopefully, you can put his mind at ease.

But

I just

don't know if I should just

move him elsewhere.

But then I suppose I'd be moving myself out, wouldn't I?

Before you do anything,

I want to see it.

Of course.

Yeah.

When can we get it in the diary?

I'm free right now.

I've got a appointment, so it's you won't be required.

Right.

Okay.

Um.

John.

John.

Huh?

Hmm?

Do you want to go and use one of the rooms?

Plenty of beds to go around.

No, yeah, no, no, I'm sure Sherlock's just wrapping things up.

He still seems quite busy.

He's been a few hours.

What's he doing?

He's checking the window locks.

Oh, which which ones?

All of them.

Right.

Uh

yeah, he he can be quite thorough.

I good god, it's nearly midnight.

Yeah,

I'm gonna head home, so yeah, I d I don't know what you want to do, but you're both more than welcome to stay.

I'll see, um

I'll see what Sherlock thinks is best.

Are there patients here overnight right now?

Yeah, so there's Avery on the top floor.

Then on the third floor, you've got patient Mrs.

Marshall.

On the ground floor, just down there, actually, I've got an elderly gentleman.

He's just come in today, so

I'd probably say the second floor.

Sure?

Of course, yeah, there's three rooms on the second floor.

All of them are free.

Just let the practitioners know which one you're in.

Percy, thanks, mate.

That's very kind.

I'm sorry about all of this.

Don't be daft.

It's fine.

Just

let's get this thing sorted, eh?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'd rather know if we had a break-in or not, and if we have, I'll be bloody glad you're both staying over, to be honest.

Of course.

Of course.

Night, John.

Yeah, night, Percy.

Thanks, mate.

Mariana voice note.

Hey, hey, hi.

Hey, Spill.

Oh, God.

Oh, I'm starting to sound like you.

Oh, yuck.

Yuck?

Got a question.

Um...

Um, um, um...

Hey, what was it?

Oh, what was I gonna say?

Uh.

Oh, oh, yeah.

Um, I got some

journalist guy calling about your deal with the condom guy found in the road.

Uh, I guess he wants um the story.

Uh, wants to do a piece or something.

Uh, I'll message you his number, cause he's bugging me, and I'd rather he bugged you.

Great.

So, yeah.

Um,

yeah.

Oh, are we still doing a volunteer on Sunday or not?

Because I need to book Cos of Roasts.

You know, you know how British people are with that stuff.

Yeah, so, okay.

Bye.

Well, this is bloody great, isn't it?

Oh, hello.

Another magnetic mishap here, a bit of metal stuck on the mic.

Wow.

Oh, God, that is mental.

Come on, you.

Jesus.

Oh.

I was like Excalibur.

God.

Oh, hoping the mic is working.

Please don't break again, you little shit.

Hello.

Hi.

Sorry, um,

just caught me talking t to myself, um,

just then.

Oh, that's fine.

I've seen much worse here.

Right, yeah.

Yeah, you you work here?

Yes.

Night shift.

Oh, fun?

N not quite.

Sure, yeah.

Sorry, was um was gonna guess your accent then, but I thought that would be rude.

I I've spent quite a bit of time in that part of the world.

I was I was in Ukraine.

Oh.

Wow.

Yeah, yeah.

Fighting wasn't wasn't a stag do or anything?

Of course.

Yes, so I am Lithuanian.

Ah, cool.

Nice.

Nice.

What brings you to...

Sorry.

My phone is

beeping.

Yeah, no worries.

See ya.

Bye.

Saw me talking to invisible people, and I still managed to save it.

Not bad.

Not bad, Johnny Boy.

Should probably find Sherlock now.

Sherlock!

Great.

Currently, um,

in an almost pitch black cataleptic care home, basically trying to look for Sherlock, who has been non-stop

literally all day, searching this place from top to bottom, desperate to find signs of it.

Hello?

Signs of a um

a break-in.

I'm guessing he's had no such luck, and I'm guessing he hasn't been allowed into Avery's room.

Yeah.

Hello?

Sherlock, is that you?

Percy said that.

Jesus, what the f

Sherlock, this isn't funny.

Sorry, everyone.

Just um

trying to work out what exactly is.

Who the fuck is that?

Sherlock!

Sherlock, help!

Sherlock!

To binge this adventure in full and without ads, go to patreon.com forward slash Sherlock and Co.

Starting a business can seem like a daunting task, unless you have a partner like Shopify.

They have the tools you need to start and grow your business.

From designing a website to marketing to selling and beyond, Shopify can help with everything you need.

There's a reason millions of companies like Mattel, Heinz, and Allbirds continue to trust and use them.

With Shopify on your side, turn your big business idea into

sign up for your $1 per month trial at shopify.com/slash special offer.