Lawnmower Man - Willard, Ohio - SPECIAL GUEST: WILL FORTE!!

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Hello, everybody, and welcome back to Small Town Murder Express. Yay! Choo, choo.
Oh, yay indeed, Jimmy. Yay, indeed.
My name is James Petrigallo. I'm here with my co-host.
I'm Jimmy Wistman.

Thank you, folks, so much for joining us today on another crazy edition of Small Town Murder Express. 10 pounds of murder in a two-pound bag.
Here we go.

All aboard the train here, pulling away from the station. Let's start out here.
Before we get started, just mountain tell you, definitely head over to shutupandgivemeurder.com.

Get your tickets for live shows. Seattle at the Moor in October.
Tickets left for that, as well as the virtual live show

on Thursday before Halloween. We cannot wait for that.
It's just like a regular live show, except we have costumes on like idiots, and we'll make fools of ourselves while telling you a funny story.

So that's how this goes here. Now, normally we plug Patreon and all that, but we have to introduce somebody.

This is our 632nd episode. We've done a big number.
So many episodes. And one thing, if you'll notice, that we've never had on this show is a guest.

We've never once had a guest on this show because, frankly, we were like, eh, no one's going to fit in, whatever.

And then we had this presented to us. We had the opportunity to have a guest on the show that we couldn't turn down because he's just that good and that funny and we respect him too much.

And we have to have him on here. Everybody, our special guest this week, Will Forte.
Will Forte.

Oh, hello. I requested 632.

He almost got 631, but his people pushed for it and we couldn't get it. He's been listening.
And on number 19, he said, in 632, I'm in.

I'll come then.

Give me about eight years and I'll should be ready for this stuff. Now it is an honor to be your guest.
Thank you so much for having me. Thank you for being here.

Will is in an amazing new series that comes out. Is it the 19th of September? I believe.

Yes, September 19th. Haunted Hotel.
It is

on Netflix. It is so funny.
Would you like to please just tell everybody, you know, just a basic gist, and I'm sure we will add into, but please.

Okay, so basically,

I am a

I die

and I leave my hotel to my sister. So my sister and her kids run into this hotel, start running a hotel that is filled with haunted ghosts, me being one of them.
Yes, and hilarious.

It's animated and it is so funny. I love the

serial killer guy who just wants to stab people who've, even ghosts that have already died. It's just so funny and ridiculous.

Well written.

If you have the thirst for death, it doesn't leave you once you die. No, right.
Yeah, yeah. And you're stuck at this hotel.
And I'm like, this is so great. It's really, really clever.

And we definitely recommend everybody watch this. It's so good.
And we'll talk more about it during the course of the show. But definitely September the 19th, Netflix, watch yourself haunted hotel.

Do yourself a favor and get in there and do that. Is it all coming out at once, Will? Because it's 10 episodes.
And

you guys let us see it, but is it all coming out at once? Is it going to be bingeable? I think it's all, I think it, yeah, just

just like your full Netflix series just drops all at once, 100% bingeable, and it's terrific. There's callbacks in it to other parts of the show.
It's so funny.

It's a really well-written, uh, comedic brain kind of show. It's clear that your team is very, very talented, very well done.
I like it. And you really, really fun.
The animation is really great.

Oh, it's so fun. It's so fun.
And you know what? Crisp animation does.

Everybody listening knows we're, we don't like pull punches ever. We're always always like, we don't usually, we don't have like

an industry kiss ass type of thing. Like if something sucks, we go, well, that just sucks.
It's bad. And I don't know how nice and whatever that is, but it's just kind of how comics are.

And this is really good. I mean, from the bottom of our hearts, it's really good.
So please, our audience. Hey, guys, let me test you.

How'd you like the Brothers Solomon? Brothers Solomon. I didn't get that far.
I don't think. Is that the option?

I have to prepare the show, so I can't have as much. Jimmy's got got a lot of time on his hands.
If you watch that and you liked it,

that was the test.

What is it called?

It was me and Will Arnett. It was like 20 years ago.
Oh, my God.

I was thinking in

the haunted house.

No, I was asking you. I was thinking of Brothers Grimm, the Netflix cartoon that also came out 20 years ago.
No, I remember that. It was a little from my past.
Oh, geez. I do remember that.

I do remember that because, yeah you and will arnett together is a crazy awesome combination by the way that's you two are are ridiculous so to have the two of you together is too much man i'm telling you i'd like to see here's what i'd like to see the mashup of i'd like to see job from arrested development

and and and jenna maroney's boyfriend from 30 rock i'd like to see them do a series together in character that's that's what we really need right here but all right let's

yeah

so So, all right, here we go, everybody. I think it's time we're going to jump well into the little small town murder gang here.
I think it's time, everybody, to sit back.

Let's all clear the lungs and let's all shout.

Shout out

to give me murder.

I love it.

Beautiful. Let's go.

I started rushing it. I was rushing it in the beginning.
That's all right.

It's all right.

It's your first time. Well, it's understandable.
It takes self-direction even better.

You're like, ah, I'm fucking up.

All right, let's go on a trip, shall we? Let's do this. We are going to Ohio this week to Willard, Ohio.
You spend a lot of time in Ohio, Will?

No, but did you pick Willard?

It's completely random and an accident, but that's how this show works. It's an odd serendipity here.

One of four states that I've never been to, and I was just talking about how I want to go there and see the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and the football hall.

Sorry, I guess. That's about all there is.
No, that's about all there is. We make fun of Cleveland all the time because that's

that Grandpa's Cheese Factory between Columbia. Oh, between Columbus and Cleveland.
Yeah, that's a fun one as well. Yeah, Ohio is a strange place.

You're not missing too much, Will, but there's some stuff to be had there.

This is in north central Ohio, about an hour and a half to Cleveland, about an hour and 40 minutes to Columbus, and about an hour and a half to Hudson, Ohio.

Our last Ohio episode, episode 591, The Best Friends Murder, which was a weird one, obviously, just based on the title. This is in Huron County, Huron County, like the lake, like the Great Lake.

Area code 419, population here, 6,204. Very good.
So kind of, that's a real tiny town. It kind of sits out by itself.
Median household income here, well below the national average, is $46,679. So

that's not great. But median home price is kind of at par with this.
It's $124,800. So

that's insane.

I don't know what $124,000 is your median home price. Yeah.
That is low. That's nice.

Motto here, the city of blossoms. Which kind? Doesn't say

anything. TV show.
Whatever. Yeah, that's all.
Just girls with hats on. Funny hats with annoying best friends, you know.

And Joey. And Joey's, whatever he would be.
Is that her brother? The original, a little bit of history of this town.

Original name of Willard was, and you won't be surprised that they changed it, was Chicago. Whoops.
Yeah, that's a swing in a mess. Well, that's kind of tough.

It was named for the junction of the Baltimore and Ohio Railroads line to Sandusky. And then that went off to Chicago.

So they said, well, if you take this railroad to this railroad and then make a transfer and go up there, you get to Chicago. So let's call it Chicago, which is logical.
Logical. Very logical.

So with the name Chicago, passengers on the railroad would confuse this and be very disappointed when they arrived here instead of in Chicago.

They were not quite what they were looking for.

No, so they were like, huh. So then they changed it to Chicago Junction.

However, the word junction didn't fit on boards, so that didn't work either. So they just had to change the name.
And they changed it to Willard in 1917 after, you know, a hundred years of confusion.

They finally figured it out that that might be a better thing. And they just named it after the president of the B ⁇ O Railroad, Daniel Willard.
That's pretty sad. They love doing that.

I don't know if you know that about this country, Will, but every small town. There's a ton of small towns named after somebody from the railroad.
Just a brake man, nobody that matters.

Just some railroad executive that came through there and they're like, We'll name it after him.

You don't expect it to grow much if you're doing that.

Here's some reviews of this town. Okay, because we've never been there.
We don't know shit about Will's never even been to Ohio. He doesn't know anything.

We don't know anything here.

Here is

five stars in a review.

The town of Willard is large enough to offer amenities like grocery stores, pharmacies, bowling alley, new hospital, and a new school, but also small enough to give you safe and homey atmosphere.

Yeah. Okay, so that's the best we have.
Five stars. Excellent.
A little small town. That's what the Chamber of Commerce.

That's what I always say to him. Like, I think the mayor wrote that.

That sounds fake. Here's a three-star.
The feeling, or I'm sorry, the small feeling town, everyone knows everyone. The small feeling town.
Small feeling town. Yeah, not the small town.

You just feels, you feel small. The town of Willard is a very small town, and the sports are tight together.
Yeah, they are. Anybody have any idea what that means?

Tight together. This person is talking about.

I don't have my Ohio to English dictionary here. I'm not sure.
And the fast food is good. Oh, okay.
That's great to know. And so is the Mexican food.
I'm sure in rural Ohio, you get the best,

best Mexican food around. Street tacos.
They're famous for them there, honestly.

Here's

huge.

Here's three stars. Great small town with several industrial areas.
I think that explains. I think there's something in the water leaking into it here.

Good school system and clean. Only bad thing is the drug problem.
And then ellipses, it needs to change. It sure does.
Uh-oh.

That's everywhere. that's america right that's america every town they think it's unique to them hey there's people on drugs here this is crazy

that song got not off at a buzz stop you too you too wow the same guy must have been uh must be

yeah it has to be willard and no other place here's three stars now uh now this person i feel like

whatever's leaking into the water, they've had a lot of it because this is a very odd review here. Okay.

Ohio is very cold, and I really did not like living there. Okay.
People were extremely nice, but practically everyone smokes. Oh.

Okay. It's an odd observation.
Which do they smoke? Okay, whatever. Anything.
A pipe, corn cob, maybe? It was beautiful when the snow would fall. A blanket of thick snow,

you could not but take in such beauty.

Wow. The summers is nice.
Okay.

The summers is nice. The summers summers is nice.
Not too hot and not too cold. I really enjoyed taking long walks with no dogs chasing me.
Where have you been? I never thought I reviewed that.

With no dogs chasing me. Wow.

I'm tired of this. My old town, Packs of Rottweilers, it was common.

That happens to you all the time, right? Will, that's a very common thing. Yeah.
Always guys. The cartoon, actually, the animated series is just about Will being chased by dogs.

I had to buy some steel jeans.

It's smart. That's thinking.

The best thing of all is the love everyone shows you, the family kind of love.

I am terrified by that review.

That's enough.

That's enough reviews.

Frenchy. Yeah, exactly.

Things to do in this town. Okay, we'll go over this really quickly.
We always go over like a little festival that they have just to give a little flavor of the place. Here we go.

Have the Willard, Ohio

sesquitennial celebration yeah yeah what's a sesquitennial that is 1874 to 2024 so we're talking 150 years

oh okay yeah 150 years

yeah sorry bad man sesquitennial i know that took me a minute myself here uh would be the 250 would that be bicesquitennial yeah

bicentennial

yeah bicentennial is 200 yeah that's what's the other one? Sesquitennial. But I'm saying what's 250.
Oh, no. Is it bisexual? Is that what you said? Bicnennennel.
Bisquitennial.

No, because bicesquitennial would be. 300.
If it were 350, that'd be 300. Yeah, there's probably a whole other thing for that.
Probably a whole other thing.

That's tricentennial, right? Oh, there you go. Yeah.
And then we got a quad centennial. It's going to all go for it.
Bisesquatennial would be 250, wouldn't it?

Is that what we're saying? Americans are so stupid because we only know that our country had a bicentennial. So, like, that's as far as off as we know for those words.

We don't know anything else.

It's all been an experiment anyway. Who gives a shit? Who cares? So, this particular festival has a bunch of weird

acts here. They have Diamond Rio will be there.
Yeah. Is that a country band? Yeah.

I don't know any country stuff.

Okay. Yeah,

Diamond Rio?

See, good. Thank you.
I don't know either.

I always refer to Jimmy. I go, is that like a famous act or I don't know.
It's so crazy. In the 90s, Diamond Rio was a big deal.

Okay. All right.

We have the cruise-in with Phil Dirt and the Dozers. They're not famous.
I don't know who that is.

Yeah, they're all a bunch of elderly men. Yeah.
Yeah, they're all co-stayers. Phil Dirt? That's very funny.

Because Phil Dirt is like

people want that shit to level out your yard.

In a rural area, you see a big pile that says free dirt. That's what that is.
That's Phil Dirt.

Phil Dirt and and the dozers i like it uh there's also high flying pages which is like a tramp a trapeze act trampoline act uh trapeze act then there's always fun always always fun always fun to see a almost a death that's always that's always good for the people yeah um you know what's the very safe version of that

when they and i see this i've only seen it at basketball games when they're the people who have who catch the cups on their head yeah and they can throw it way up and somehow it flips around.

I've never seen them drop that. No, it always lands right there.
How is that?

I don't understand those people. They don't fear for their lives.

No, some people don't.

There's also a stand-up comedy. Oh, no, it's stand-up comedy and magic.
Oh, Jesus, that's the worst.

Matt Foray, F-O-R-E.

I don't know. Saturday or Summer Night Under the Lights with this idiot, it says.

Then there's the golf cart raffle. That's exciting.
We all want to win a golf cart.

It's a big deal. People love winning four-wheelers, too.
The band Rolling Out of Cleveland will be there. That'll be very exciting.
No, I don't think so.

And they also have a festival called Rock Around the Clock, which has the exact same bands except for

add the

Muckstorm band.

And they're going to have an event called Power Wheel Races, which I want to participate in very badly.

Rednecks love to put unbelievable motors in these

kids' machines. Like the plastic.

They will make those things do 40 miles an hour. It's crazy.

Okay, so we've covered Willard.

Let's talk about some murder. What do you say, everybody? Let's get into this here.
Okay.

Here we go. Let's set our sights on a neighborhood in Willard, okay? It's a nice, quiet neighborhood.

Real, real nice, and everybody gets along with each other, and everybody mows their lawn, and it's that kind of neighborhood, you know, very suburbia.

Now, and in about, this is, we're going to go to about 2015, but that's when the story takes place. But in 2014, in early 2014, a new person moves into the neighborhood.

He's a 50-year-old man named James Blair, and he moves in with his mother, who is in her late 70s at this point.

His mother's name is Billy Hinkle. They live at 4328 Kirkwood Drive.
And James has just had a bad run of it here. He is,

he's been, he moved out when he was 20 and he's been on his own and done everything, you know, had jobs and careers and apartments and all that kind of thing.

And somehow at the age of 50, he finds himself unemployed and living back at his mother's house. Oh, no.
Which is a rough turn of events for anybody.

Mom's been in Willard a while and he's moving back in with her. Yeah, mom's lived here for years, years and years.
Her, all the neighbors all know each other.

It's a very, you know, easy-going neighborhood. And then he moves in and he's got some problems.

What's he do? He had had previously cared for his father who was sick as well. So he used to have his shit like together.
He had jobs and he was caring for people.

But at this point, he does not have his shit together.

He is, he has, he moves in when he's unemployed and suffering from some depression, which if you're 50 unemployed and living with your mother is probably

help it out.

It's not going to help at all. No.

He also has some serious paranoia issues as well.

All sorts of paranoid and weird about everything. He's weird.
He looks out the window and sees a neighbor getting in their car and thinks that they're going to do something to him. Yeah.
Even though

they're not even looking at the house, it's just really weird.

He basically moves into his mother's house early 2014, is real weird and kind of still leaves the house and does things. And then by September of 2014, he's not leaving the house anymore.
No.

He turns into a recluse lunatic and just sitting in his own house.

He also hears voices,

which is terrifying. And he speaks to the voices also, has conversations with them, which is even more terrifying.

That is, I feel bad for this guy, Christ. And he believed that the neighbors were watching him even when he was in his room with all the curtains drawn.
Do we know what did this?

Is it just mentally ill or is this dreams? I don't know. He showed up at mom's doorstep at 50 and was like, I messed up.
I need to leave. That's what the world did to me.
Yeah.

He's not leaving now.

Exactly. Exactly.

And on top of that, he's convinced that the neighbors want to, quote, take him out. That's the words he uses all the time.
Oh. You're going to take me out.

Luckily, he's not taking any medication or seeing a psychiatrist of any kind. So that's helpful.
And oh, to add to that, he also drinks heavily on a daily basis. Doing great.

That's excellent. Excellent.

You can get depressed and hear voices just from that. So that's a lot.
Living with mom? Forget it.

Yeah.

In the summer of 2014, before he stopped leaving the house, he got really shit-faced, drank whiskey all day long, grabbed his mother's 38 revolver and went out on the back deck and just started firing shots off into the air.

Just into the air. Scaring the shit out of the neighbors.
And people called the cops on him, and it became a big deal, you know, that that happened.

Now, it's sad because there's some nice neighbors around here, too. They have a door neighbor named Linda Louise Scioto.

She is born in 1953. She's about 62 years old at this point in time.
She has three kids. Her kids have all done well.
She has two sons and a daughter.

Her one son lives in New York City.

Her daughter lives in Columbus. So her kids have spread out.
She's lived a life and she's settling in now and wants to move away from this neighborhood because she likes to buy houses and rehab them.

Oh, she's a fixer-upper. So she bought a house in Columbus and she's been fixing that up, and she's going to move into that later on in 2015.
She's retired from the railroad, she from CSX Railroad.

Everything has to do with the railroad in the middle of the country. It's all railroad-based.

She worked her way up from phone operator in the 70s to assistant superintendent of operations in Indiana in the whole state. So

this lady is a hustler. She works.

Then when she retires, she ends up going to Bowling Green State University and graduating magna cum laude from there as well at 58 years old. At 58.
So

she was a history major there, which is pretty cool. She's also into politics and environmental stuff.
She's a real like environmental advocate and activist and that sort of thing.

She's into crafting and gardening.

Nice lady. Nice lady.
Likes to rehab homes. you know she's a big hot finishes a career starts from the bottom again that's crazy yeah she seems like a big hgtv watcher i feel like yeah huge

yeah property brothers yeah definitely she's a grandmother of three as well so she's just going to settle into her later life but she's not ready to settle at all she wants to do stuff uh her house in willard is right next door to Mr.

Blair and his mother there. She lives.
I don't think where Eth is going. No.

Will has caught on to your ruse, Jake. What gave it away? Small town murder?

We're in a small town. This guy's crazy and drinking heavily.
Oh, shit.

This lady seems nice. We're in trouble.
This is an issue. Just shut up and give me some murder.
I love it.

So she lives in a three-bedroom, two-bath, 1,200-square-foot house.

Nice little garage, some grass to mow, all that kind of thing. So it's a small little joint, but but nice, nice.
She keeps it up real nice, too. So July 2015, where Mr.

Blair James has not left the house in, say, nine months at this point, things are getting weird. Linda is about to move.
That's when she bought the house in Columbus.

She sold her home in Willard and was fixing it up, kind of just going around her house, getting it all nice for the new people that bought it, which is a... Pretty nice thing to do.

Not bad. I've never bought a house where somebody did that.
It's always?

No, it's always destroyed in some way, shape, or form.

So it's weird. So she

do the inspection and then they agree to fix some things. And it could be like that, too, where there's something that was made it unlivable and they got to fix it.

No, she's going around like painting things that didn't look right. Yeah, like trim.
She's like paint and trim. She goes around like making sure all the garden and the lawn is all nice for them.

And I was like, wow, this lady's, I want to buy a house from her. Jesus Christ.

Me like her her too much when I know what's going to happen to her. It's a problem, isn't it? Damn it.

Oh, you don't know. It could be her.

She could turn on us all in the story. That's what she's going to do.
I'm going to be imagining death with a paintbrush while she's trying to put in some trim. You never know.

One of those stirs, those things will get you. So July 28th, 2015, it is,

according to Linda's daughter, quote, ridiculously hot outside. Yeah.
Just ridiculous. That review said it's never too hot or too cold.
So I'm very upset that they're lying nature here.

So Linda waits till 9 p.m. to go out and mower grass.
She has to mow the grass for the new people, and even on a hot day. So she waits till 9 p.m.

Sun goes down, just kind of takes the edge off the heat a little bit.

She's moving in eight days, by the way. She has eight days left here, and then she's gone.

So the sun is setting, and Linda fires up the lawn mower and

starts doing it, starts mowing. Her daughter said she didn't want to leave the lawn unmowed.
Oh, unbelievable. That's so conscientious.
So, James Blair, our friend next door, is watching. He's pissed.

Yeah. Really pissed.

For some reason, the sound of the mower at nine o'clock at night. It's not like he's got to be up for something in the morning and he's trying to sound like a music.
He's trying to make a podcast.

No, yes. God damn it.
Jesus Christ. I got to pause this fucking thing.
No, he is shit-faced. He's been drinking beer and whiskey all day long.
Oh, no.

Just, I mean, from like the second he woke up, and he's been up a while. So he's staring out the window at this woman mowing her lawn, and the sound of the mower is grating on him big time.
So,

by the way, this is still nine months. He hasn't left the house.
So, I mean, I'm talking in the yard. He hasn't gone in the yard.
He's just been inside the house, which is insane.

So he goes to the back patio and he watches Linda start up her mower and start mowing and doing all this shit. At one point, she can't see or hear him, but he screams out.

He calls her a, quote, she bitch.

Yeah.

I don't know where he pulled that out of his ass, but

you she-bitch.

Yeah, let's cancel each other out. It's not even an insult.
The weirdest thing I've ever heard. Yeah, that's a very strange thing to say.
You he dick, it's a very weird thing.

Strange.

and he gives her the finger too you she bitch

she doesn't know this is even happening she's mowing it's dark out she doesn't care so he goes to his bedroom and sits there for an hour and stews yeah and i picture too like he's still got posters on the wall from when he was like 11

i absolutely picture he's born in 65 yeah he's got like h and r

he's got hr puffing stuff shit up and like all sorts of weird 70s things going on here so he's a couple nagle prints.

Totally. Cowboy sheets.
He's got it all.

Little horsies.

So he sits there for an hour and waits for the mower to stop and it just doesn't stop, man. She just keeps mowing.
Yeah. How dare this she bitch mower lawn? This is ridiculous.

So he's very upset, sits there for an hour, and then he says, I can't take it anymore. I can't take it anymore.
I am done. And so he gets up and walks over to his mother's bedroom.

His mother's not in her bedroom at the time. And he opens up her nightstand drawer.
And in there is her trusty 38 revolver. 38.

So it's the same gun he got busted shooting off in the back porch the last time he was out of the house, pretty much. So he takes it and he holds it and

he sits there and considers for a while. And then he decides for the first time in nine months, he is motivated to leave the house

by this incessant mowing.

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So he walks next door. He goes out the back door and walks next door and sees Linda.
She's just mowing, just a 62-year-old lady mowing her lawn, doing nothing. She looks up and sees him approaching.

So she says, hi,

you know, like a normal person would.

He approached her without saying anything, by the way. She's saying hello and, you know, hey, how's it going? And, you know, can I help you?

He walks up silence, just silent as can be, walks up and just raises the gun and according to the police report, quote, shot her directly in the face. Whoa, just boom, right in the face.
Yeah.

Which is insane, obviously. Didn't even say anything.
Now, the bullet goes through her finger first because she was

waving. Oh, Jesus.
She wasn't even blocking. She was waving.
She goes, Hi, my neighbor. And he shoots her in the face, which is

pretty fucking insane.

So,

and the shot goes into her right cheek, and she's dead within seconds. Like, as she hits the ground, she's dead pretty much.

So, you'd imagine, okay, that's the end of the story, but it wouldn't be, that wouldn't be the show if that was the end of the story. No, so never is.
He shoots her.

Oh, yeah, he stands there for a minute overlooking the corpse and goes, Jesus, man, what do I do? He goes, Well, I got an idea. Her lawnmower is still running.
No!

So he grabs her lawnmower, which is a ride-on mower,

takes it, goes out, does a little circle around the yard,

and runs over her body with the ridering mower. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.

He just

did a victory lap around the yard and then hit an old lady with her own mower. It was just easier than a three-point turn, I think.
You did the loop. There's not a lot of reverse on that.

Will's face is this is his first episode of Small Dump.

It's what I was hoping for. Yeah, I was hoping for it and dreading it at the same time.
That is unbelievable. Oh, my God.

Did anybody see it? No, but you know somebody heard it. You know somebody heard the

like when it bottoms out. Yeah, when you

that high patch of grass.

Yeah. That is horrifying.

That's going to be the grossest noises ever. That is god-awful.
So he just ran over her and kept going.

And then he got off the mower and went back in the house and sat back down in his room like nothing happened.

She had the mower caused a huge gash on her arm, broke both the bones in her lower left arm, cut off her finger, really chopped her up good here.

The coroner later would say that the mower blade caused a severe wound to her left arm and hand. So he walks home, goes into his bedroom, and just acts like nothing happened.

He just got himself some fruit snacks and sat down and, you know, or whatever he does, I don't know. So he didn't, he didn't disappear.
He didn't turn it to mulch.

No, it's just now, now she's just even more mangled. Just mangled.
It's more of a horror scene. That's all.

I mean, the comfort that I take is you did say that she died within seconds after it gets away

for that. She didn't know

an empty vessel. Yeah, she didn't know she was getting mowed, which is good.
That would be still very gross.

Very gross. Yeah.

So 9:15 comes around at night. This has all took place very soon here.
Yeah. Mom realizes that I don't have, where's my gun?

Which who checks for their guns every 15 minutes or so? Is that what everybody does?

Somebody who's aware they live with a lunatic? Yeah, maybe. Yeah.

So she realizes Billy Hinkle, his mom, realizes her gun is missing from her nightstand.

And then she sees him come back in the house and go in his bedroom. And she said, where's my gun?

And he said, oh, right here, and just gave it to her. No problem.
Yeah. So she doesn't call 911 at this point.
Does she check to see if any rounds have been fired?

No, I assume she heard the 38 from 35 feet away, you know, next door.

And

she doesn't call 911. She called her sister, mom, here.

Then she just put the gun into her bag and left.

She packed two overnight bags really quick and drives to a family member's home on Church Street in Willard, to her sister's house. So 11 p.m.
comes around. Nobody has found Linda in the yard yet.

She's still laying in the yard, lying there, mowed and shot.

Seen her there. No, because it's dark out, so no one's looking at people's

11 p.m. Yeah.
So it's 11 o'clock, 11 p.m.

The mower is found beside her, 10 to 12 feet from where she stopped mowing. Right.
And at 11 p.m., someone finally sees her and calls the sheriff's department. Holy shit, we got a real problem here.

She mowed herself. Silly.
I don't know what happened. So the cops,

it must be, I don't know. If If you came upon that scene, you'd go, did she mow herself? How is that possible?

She mowed herself, then shot herself in the face. It's the most logical.

She's like, damn, the mower didn't work. I'll try this.

So the sheriff Dane Howard arrives, and he called this the, quote, most bizarre crime scene he's encountered in his 30-year career in law enforcement. He said, it was horrific.

As you can imagine here. So they try to question Blair.
They go next door to try to question him.

He won't answer the door for them. No, he'll say he's in there, but he won't come out.
Not coming out. No.

That's just the voices in my head, whatever he's thinking. So he won't answer the door.
So they then have to surround the house and he barricades himself inside.

He's not coming out without a fight, he says.

He's got nothing to fight with. His mom took the gun, but he's not going out.
So they sit there all night overnight.

The Ashland County Sheriff's bomb squad robot they sent in to track his movements in the home. So this guy's walking around his house with a bomb squad robot following him, which is hilarious.

Can you imagine if you hear voices anyway, and now you're like, I swear there's a fucking robot and it won't leave me alone. Sure.
The police Roomba's talking to you. Yeah, okay, with your Roomba.

Those things have, those have little personalities.

Yeah.

He might have made friends with it after a couple hours.

So

a standoff is happening obviously the sort team arrives and the hostage negotiation team is called in even though there's no hostages uh fire and police trucks are there just they got everybody with like a a woo-woo on top of their car and just brought them in and had them gather around um

nothing works he won't come out

So they said, we have a, this is sheriff said, we have a strong, or we have had a strong support from the community with food, water, and other offers of assistance since we've been on scene for over two days now.

Oh, my word. They just have to hang out for two days and wait for this guy.
I mean, what else do you do, right? Yeah, he won't come out. They don't know what to do.
So eventually.

Did his mom know at this point? Was she

notified? Yeah, yeah. It's her house.
So yeah, they were like,

she's just saying, I'm staying at my sister's. My son's nuts.
I don't know.

She's not getting involved here

outside of taking the gun.

So

after all this time, they finally somehow figured out, hey, what if we shoot tear gas canisters in through the windows? That'll get him out.

So they do that, and he comes out and surrenders. No problems.
That shit stings. Yeah, it came out like no, nothing was wrong.

So he's held on a million-dollar bond.

And

according to the sheriff here, the sheriff said, the information we have is that Blair was upset about the victim mowing the grass late in the evening.

There's no evidence to support there had been any prior significant problems. They've never met before, Linda and James Blair.
He never even met her before.

I mean, yeah, what kind of a

at least go over?

No,

a 38 bullet to your cheek is a terrible first impression. Absolutely awful.

So one of the neighbors, Dolores Allen, who lives on the road here, said that authorities made her leave her home around 11 p.m. and told her that someone was shot.

A woman was shot while mowing her yard. She said, I have no clue what happened, but I did see her coming and going.
I went to my son's house. She said, it's actually a very quiet neighborhood.

Not now.

So now the cops are wondering where the gun is. Where's the murder weapon? Yeah.
Is what they want to know. So he says, I gave it to my mother.
It's her gun.

So they call in his mother, Billy Hinkle, to the police station to say, you know, we need the murder weapon here. We got to get that.

So she starts telling a whole web of lies this mother out of nowhere.

She lied to the detective, the lead detective, Rich Larson, another detective, Caleb Zander, the detective sergeant, Josh Quieran, the chief deputy, Ted Patrick, and a BCI special agent.

All these different people talked to her, tried to crack her, and she just had lies for all of them. And different lies.
Gone. They evolved.
At first, she said, I don't know what you're talking about.

I'm not hiding anything.

They said, well, we know you have the gun.

We know your son had the gun. So then she said, well, I have no idea where he would put the gun.
What do I know?

And they said, well, he said he gave it to you. And she said, oh, that's right.
Yeah, it's in Kentucky with some relatives.

So

she went from, I don't know what you're talking about, to, oh, that gun. Yeah, that's in Kentucky with relatives.
I wonder where his instability comes from. Weird, right? Yeah.

So they, she, like, this happens over the course of a couple of days. They bring her in more than once.
And then they finally bring her in on July 30th and they go, listen. Happy mom's birthday.

Happy mom's birthday. Happy birthday, Will's mom.

She sounds like a hilarious lady, so I like her already.

So yeah, they bring him in and they're like, you know, we know you have the gun. We know you had the gun.
Where'd you put the gun? So she's sitting there. She has her purse on her.

And she says, you know.

There's one last place I haven't looked for that thing. I'll tell you, because I can't find it.
I looked all over. I tore my house apart.
Can't find it. I tore my sister's house apart.
Can't find it.

Reaches into her purse and pulls it out. Here it is.
Here it is. The one place I didn't look in my purse the whole time.

So, yeah, then the detective said, quote, she said she didn't know how it got there. Yeah.

We brought a lady into the police department armed. And we did.

No clue. Unbelievable.
Just sitting in the interrogation room with a loaded 38. She said that Blair must have just slipped it in there.
Yeah. I don't know.

And I just happened to, first I thought I brought it to Kentucky, but apparently I didn't.

Then after a while, she finally breaks down and admits the truth that he gave it to her and she put it in her bag, and it's been in there the whole time. The whole first interrogation.
Yeah.

They didn't search her.

Like an engaged husband that came home from his bachelor party with three condom wrappers in his pocket.

Yeah, just the wrappers.

That's what happened. And a pube in his teeth.
That's great. Yeah, my friends did it.
Yeah, they did. They're crazy.
You know how they do.

So mom's arrested too now.

She wasn't going to be arrested at first, but the fact that she held out on the gun for a couple of days, they arrest her and set her bond at $50,000. Sure.
Now, in court,

they bring him in court for his arraignment, and Blair wanted to make a clarification on what the prosecutor was describing. of his actions.
And he heard the whole thing.

He took her, he shot her, he ran her over and gashed gashed her all up and did all this stuff. And he said,

Excuse me, I ran over just her head. Thank you.

That was supposed to make it better, apparently.

Excuse me. Just a clarification.
Listen, guys,

I'm a little full of shit here. I don't like,

it's ridiculous. So he's indicted, obviously, for aggravated murder, murder.
Those are separate things.

Felonious assault, gross abuse of a corpse, which is the most most apt

fucking charge I've ever heard. 100% agree.

And weapons specifications.

Now, his mother is charged with tampering with evidence and two counts of obstructing justice. Yeah.

Yeah, which, I mean, that seems right, too. Now, the main thing is, is he competent? Is he going to, you know, is this guy a looney tune or what here? So what do we do?

So the first evaluation finds him competent to stand trial. Yeah.

But the defense kind of appeals that and requests another evaluation, And the state agrees to that because they have to pay like 3,500 bucks for this guy, a Dr. Bob Stinson.

And the defense had a hard time finding a mental health expert, they said. They said he's willing to do this evaluation in Huron County.

He's as impressive as any as I've ever seen, the lawyer tells the judge. You got to give me $3,500, please.
This guy's awesome. He's so impressive.
He's so good.

He guessed my card.

He knew it all.

So the judge says, well, he seems qualified. And the public defender for Blair says, I believe Blair was not competent when he was taken into custody.
So they said

he will be competent as long as he maintains the proper medication is the problem.

So he also said

the judge said there's certain things that jump out at me here about this guy. So I would like another evaluation.
So his final evaluation in August of 2016 finds him competent to stand trial.

They judge that he understood the wrongfulness of his actions at the time based on the fact that he, I don't know, he didn't really hide anything, though. No, I mean, he just walked home.

He stayed in his house, though, for two days. That kind of indicates he knew what he was doing was wrong.
That's true.

If you didn't understand why the cops are there, you'd go, hey, why all the lights? What's the deal? Yeah, what's going on here? Keep it down. The last person that was loud out there.

I don't want any of your tickets to the policeman's ball. Fuck off, all of you.

Or your pancake breakfast. None of that shit with the firefighters.
I'm not doing it. So his diagnosis is a mood disorder with psychosis.
That's a fun one.

I like to get a little psychosis on the side with my meals as well. With your mood diagnosis.
Yeah, that's what you got to have.

History of depression, anger issues, and suicidal and homicidal ideations. Yeah.
So, yeah, it's a problem.

Now, before the trial, Blair asks the judge about selecting jurors because they're talking about he likes to wear his jail uniform. That's what he's coming to.
He enjoys it? Loves it.

It's a jumpsuit. It's like a futuristic outfit.
You know what I mean? It's comfy. Yeah.
Yeah. Flowy.
Doesn't chap my nipples. Oh, you don't want to chap your nipples.

So he asked the judge, you know, this is kind of my fit here. You know,

he said, you think this would be bad while the jury's being selected? And the judge told him that, yeah, you can't wear a jail outfit while you're around jurors.

That makes you look like a prisoner, which makes you look guilty. So we'd like to put you in some normal clothes.
And he said, huh, all right, that's fine.

And then they told him that no jurors would be eliminated without him being consulted. Like they won't use any other strikes.
And he's like, okay, fine. I guess I'll put clothes on.

So they encouraged him. The judge said it might give the wrong impression to the jury if you wear your jail uniform as comfy, cozy as it looks.

So he said Blair indicated that he, quote, might have some clothes in his vehicle.

So, yeah, he just has a pile of wrinkled clothes in his car that he sent his public defender to his house to go get.

Right now, Will, do you have any clothes in your car?

I do. I have clothes in my car.
Sorry, I took a brief second because I was like, I got to see what this guy looks like.

He looks just as crazy as he sounds. Does he not?

He does not look hinged. No, no, no, he doesn't look hinged.
I love this so much. His hair is nice.

What's Linda's name again?

Sioto.

C-I-O-T-T-O.

Will is riveted. I love this.

I just need the visuals, not the, you know, not the much.

This is why we do live shows, because people are like, oh, I love seeing. Yeah, I get to see everybody.

You do have clothes in your car right now, Will?

Oh, I got clothes in my car all the time. He's an actor.
I mean,

not always, but like, you know,

it's not like, you know, it's not the, it's a, it's a, you know, a handy thing.

Clothes that you like are like murder court clothes. Like if you were charged with a murder, you'd be comfortable in front of the jury.
Oh, no. Yeah.
Yeah.

Yeah. You get like a pair of jeans in there, you know, a sweatshirt.
Oh, you mean like a dude? No, yeah, I got a booty. Maybe a pair of socks somehow.
Yeah, that's it.

You don't have arraignment clothes in there? Come on. Indictment clothes.
Jury selection outfit you don't keep in your car. That's really, you need to have that.

So the prosecutor here

decides that they would like to

offer him a plea deal, see if he takes it. Okay.
Because it's going to be a circus of a trial with this guy. He's going to be nuts.
He's going to be disruptive. You don't want this.

And that disruption, you never know what a jury can take from that. They might see an insane person and go, wow, he's insane.
I'm going to judge him insane. And that's what will go on.

So the prosecutor said this is a very significant case.

the defendant needs some time to consider his options so they gave him on a tuesday they said you have till friday to decide okay that's the time that you need yeah 72 hours that's it and the the the public defender said he's been in jail for more than a year he just got this offer you're gonna give him a couple of days and they said yep

so he decides i guess i'll take the deal what else am i gonna do here

so i mean i gotta say that three days that's i think they're doing him a favor It's like, you know, don't overthink this.

Don't overthink it.

It seems right. Do it.
Plus, those lawnmower pictures of the woman after she's been mowed in front of a jury. Yeah.
That's rough. You don't want a jury seeing that.

So during the plea hearing, the prosecutor recites the facts and Linda's daughter, the victim here, her daughter is in the gallery crying.

They're describing the shooting. They're describing the lawnmower mutilation.
The poor lady's sobbing there.

They say that based on the court documents, they stated that on July 28th at 9 p.m., Linda began mowing her yard. The defendant became upset.

He used a 38 revolver that he normally kept in his mother's bedroom, which is a weird way to say he took his mother's gun from her bedroom that he normally kept there.

He shot the victim directly in the face. The bullet went through her finger into her right cheek.
The coroner determined she was dead in seconds.

After the shooting, he moved the still-running lawnmower onto Linda's body.

It broke both the bones in her lower arm, caused a great gash, and amputated her finger. Blair then spoke to his mother.
He then turned himself into the Huron Sheriff's office. So that's the basic.

Now, they describe all of that, which is all undisputed facts. We've gone over them.
That's what happened. He then, the judge asks him, so do you agree that these circumstances are true?

Because this is, he's pleading. And he said, quote, I disagree with pretty much everything she said.

That's all a lie. Yeah.

Then he said, again, I'd like to clarify, I ran the mower over just her head, quote unquote.

That's a sticking point. I don't like the way she's misconstruing my violence.

Yeah. So

the judge here,

the judge asks about his mental health evaluations.

Did everything go well with those? And he said, quote, I wasn't happy with any of the meetings. I didn't like that.
Didn't like that either.

all they said okay so do you still want to plead guilty you just disagreed with everything that we had already agreed on and he said yeah that's fine fuck it I don't care whatever

that'll do

if you want cheese on that

yeah he doesn't get to have it his way here so

it was his plea deal he's still like going to jail for the rest of his life right it's just like he doesn't get the death penalty is that is that it he would have maybe got life without parole or i believe possible death penalty in Ohio.

But I think they just wanted to ⁇ I really think they wanted to avoid the mental health aspect of it. I think that he's so crazy they thought the jury might go, he's fucking crazy.

This is a little wacky.

So, yeah, they decides he will plead guilty to aggravated murder and gross abuse of a corpse. Sure.

Now, that will also...

They get rid of the lesser murder charge because there's aggravated murder and murder. So they get rid of that and the felonious assault charge.
That's part of the deal. They dismiss that.

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So it's aggravated murder with a three-year firearm specification.

That's what it is, and gross abuse of a corpse. Now, during sentencing, the sheriff says, quote, the information we have is that Blair was upset about her mowing.

There's no evidence to support that there had been any even interaction between them in the past.

He's about to get a new neighbor in eight days. That's what I mean.
She's moving, for Christ's sake. Just let her move.

The public defender, imagine you're this poor guy.

You have to defend this case. You're like, oh, my God, what do I do? He said, this case isn't a simple matter of a guy angry over the sound of a lawnmower or even gun enforcement.
Huh?

He said, he is a diagnosed schizophrenic. He hadn't even left his mother's premises for a year.

Poor man hasn't been able to digest a decent meal in six weeks. Six weeks.

Sorry, good fellow's reference. It always comes out.

It has to be. I love that line.
He said, I know it's cliche, but there are never any winners in a case like this. Then they said, would you like to say anything for yourself, Blair?

And he says, No, I think that's about right. No, that's fine.
Yeah, I'll cheese on that. I ran over her head.
Let's just keep it with that. Yeah, you got that quoted? Okay, good.

We're going to stay with that then.

So it's interesting. And so from sentencing, the judge himself calls it, this is a, if you're getting sentenced for murder, you want the judge to be like, I've seen this a million times.

This is no big deal. Yeah, this is common.
He says that this is, quote, the most shocking and heinous case he's handled in 10 years as a judge. Yeah.
It's a bad sign if you're a defendant.

She said, He said, By all accounts, Linda sounded like a hard worker and a loving mother who was loved and respected by the people who knew her.

You, sir, may fuck off 20 years to life for aggravated murder, an additional three years for the firearm specification, and 11 months for gross abuse of a corpse. The total is 23 years to life.
Okay.

So he's

eligible for parole at age 73.

Okay.

He's not getting it. Just 20 years.
Yeah, 23. 23 years.

That is.

Will's asking to tick off a couple of names that he's got. He's like, I'll only do 23.
23.

That bitch with her weed whacker is going to get it next time. I'll tell you what.

Watch out, Will's neighbors.

Oh, my God. One question that keeps popping up is like, did they ever catch the person who then ran over her hand?

He got away into the night, that guy.

Never pinned him down, I don't think, unfortunately. Somebody came back and ran over her hand.

It was like, oh, shit, a

free mower ride here. Yeah, I can get away with this.

Holy shit. By the way, the user may fuck off if you might find that crazy.

We do a show called Crime and Sports as well. And there was a English soccer star who

he killed somebody, and the judge gave him, like, read him the riot act, like the British Riot Act, though. You know what I mean?

Like, absolutely eviscerating this guy in this wonderfully legalese in British, British accent. Yeah.
And at the end of it, all you could think is he said, you, sir, may fuck off.

That's all he could have possibly said. So we've kept that forever now for years.

So now we still have mom.

She's got legal proceedings too. Old Billy here, Billy Hinkle, she's 74 years old at this point.
Oh, Jesus. And she's going to have to plead guilty, too.
Yeah. That's all they have around everything.

So they said Billy Hinkle was involved in the egregious crime committed by her son. After murdering Linda, Blair returned to the home, went into his bedroom, but Hinkle didn't call 911.

She called her sister. She then began packing her bags.
When she checked the nightstand, she realized her 38 was missing. She spoke to her son in her room.
She asked, where's my gun?

He produced it and gave it to her. She slipped it in her bag and left.
It wasn't immediately when he got home. It happened later that evening.

So they said after Hinkle got the murder weapon from Blair, she placed it in an overnight bag, took it with her when she left to go to a family member's house. That's what happened.

And she said, I only ran over her head. No,

I ran over her hand.

It was me.

So

this is,

she, they talk about all the lies she did. They recite her ridiculous, one more place I need to look, my purse.
Oh, yeah, there it is.

So the sentencing for her, you, ma'am, may fuck off as well. She pleads guilty to obstructed, obstructing justice, and they dismiss tampering with evidence and one count of obstructing justice.

And she is facing six to 18 months for obstruction of justice. It's a fourth-degree felony.
She's 74 years old and has no previous felony convictions or anything like that.

So the judge says that this is going to be a community control sanction not jail

so we're going to send her home with an ankle monitor i see handle this in-house yeah which if you see an old lady with an ankle monitor that's badass that's a bad woman

watch out she makes poison pies

the 23 years seem slight yeah i think that probably is about right for her like she you know trying to protect her son she's not doing anything else but keep in mind, Will, it's 23-2 life, so he's going to get up for parole around then.

And there's no way they're letting this man out. Maybe if he's all medicated.

Yeah.

If he's feeling much better by then, you know what I mean? I'm feeling much better now. I'm doing great.

We might just let him out.

So she ends up going home on house arrest, which is, like I said, probably for the best here. What are we going to do with an old lady who helped her son?

It's not like she's going to be hiding other people's guns.

If she raised a stink about it when she tried to get the gun, he's going to kill her too. Yeah, that's the other thing.

She's probably terrified of the guy, I would assume.

So then there's a civil lawsuit as well. Oh, shit.
This is not over yet. Yeah.
The estate of Linda files a suit against Billy, the mom

for letting him have access to the gun, basically.

Now, the claims are negligence and wrongful death, intentional infliction of emotional distress, negligent infliction of emotional distress.

So they say that Hinkle had a duty to use ordinary care in controlling and maintaining her premises. They said despite knowing about James Blair's mental instability and the danger posed,

she unreasonably allowed James Blair to store firearms on her premises. It was her gun.
That's what I'm getting.

Hinkle knew, or in the exercise of reasonable diligence, should have known, that leaving her firearm unsecured, loaded, and within easy access of her adult son, James Blair, presented an unreasonable risk of harm.

He was mentally unstable, abused alcohol, had taken her gun twice before, fired it from the back deck while drinking, harbored irrational danger or

anger toward neighbors.

And she knew that Blair was extremely agitated, unstable, and particularly irate with the neighbors who he thought were coming for him for some reason.

Which is nuts. So they say that

he basically that they do not claim that Blair previously used the handgun to inflict harm in a similar nature. They didn't say like, oh, he usually he shot people before.

He just, you know, he shot her, but whatever.

So they said that the evidence, they think it fails to demonstrate facts that somewhat overwhelmingly demonstrate that she could have anticipated Blair would use the firearm.

So they're saying the defense is we have no way of knowing. She had no way of knowing that this guy was going to use the firearm like that.
He's used it before, but even then it was just for fun.

You know, just for funs, firing it off.

He's an adult.

It's not like this is a 10-year-old.

Exactly.

He's an adult. He's been, you know,

back and forth, and he's had his own life. They say that Blair had no violent criminal history, which he didn't.
This is all just out of nowhere.

Never engaged in physical fights or confrontations with others, never displayed anger toward her or made her

feel fearful of him. And by the time of the murder, he'd become a recluse and hadn't left the house.

So she said

unless they come over,

he's definitely good because, you know, he doesn't leave the house. It's not like he's going to go out and attack somebody.

So she did not believe also that Blair needed immediate treatment, which I think is a little off.

I think if someone's, you know, hearing voices, you should probably get them some treatment.

She also said that on two occasions that he had shot her handgun off the deck. He'd been drinking, but not intoxicated, and he wasn't upset.
He was just having some fun. Okay.

Blowing off some steam cowboy style, that's all.

He said all he knew the night of the murder is that his reclusiveness and drinking had worsened by that time.

He was intoxicated, upset with Linda, calling her a she-bitch out of her hearing, flipping her off before disappearing and sitting and stewing for an hour. So

they said that the...

Who is who is

who?

Heard the she-bitch then. Her, her, the mom.
The mom did. The mom heard it.
Mom heard she-bitch.

Okay, okay. Yeah, and he said, too, I called her a she-bitch because he told the cops that.
He said, I called her a she-bitch, and she didn't react to that.

So that obviously means that she's like a demon of some kind. You know, you know how that goes.

So, yeah, they said that he had hallucinations involving neighbors, including the decedent, allegedly threatening him.

But evidence indicates that she understood Blair, harbored false beliefs and delusions, and believed the neighbors were watching him with no indication that Blair had any actual hallucinations or physical interactions with the neighbors.

So she thought it was fine. Now,

her team argues that there's no legal duty owed to Linda by Billy to protect her from her son.

Everybody's a person in the world. So, you know, it's not like an eight-year-old went over and shot her.

You don't really have control over a 50-year-old child, that there was no special relationship that existed between him and her for the mom to even know about, between Linda and James.

So she's like, I didn't even know uh blair was an adult and ohio law does not require securing firearms from adults there you go even if they're hearing voices and seeing that's fine so uh the judge grants a they uses the judgment for the defense for billy for mom they find

wow they find in favor of her and um there's an appeal of that and everything like that and uh it's wild they say that blair owned in the appeal, they say Blair owned his own firearm, but

accessed the appellee's handgun on two occasions a year before the murder. So they try to, they just keep trying to say, but she knew he liked guns.

She should have stopped him and she should have stopped him. But they said that you don't have to lock up.

You don't have to lock anybody up. There was a dissent to this.

to this judgment, though.

They said, I cannot agree that Hinkle owed absolutely no duty as a matter of law when storing her loaded handgun, an inherently dangerous instrumentality, the use of which is reasonably likely to produce death.

Hinkle knew that her son was mentally unstable, heard voices, abused alcohol, harbored irrational anger toward neighbors, and was not only aware of the location of the loaded gun, but that he had taken the gun on prior occasions.

He's intoxicated. What are we doing here?

They said, take a hike. So

they get nothing. Now, you would imagine this might change some Ohio laws.
There should be some laws that get considered. Sure.

Well, it stands for the proposition in ohio you have no duty to secure your firearms from mentally ill adult family members oh even if they're alcoholic even if they hear voices even if they've taken your gun before even if they fired it while drunk and they did not change anything wow not at all

not even like a license to drive a lawnmower or anything nothing Not even a goddamn anything. So, and no duty to protect neighbors from easily accessible loaded weapons.

So, basically, every man for themselves. Wow.
Every mower for themselves. Get out there on your mower and watch out.
Want to visit Ohio, Will?

Yes.

I mean,

look,

this is,

I'm not holding this against Ohio.

This is,

this is, you know, I think about,

I think of a couple of things. Number one, oh, the people who moved in right after that? Imagine that.
Move in? Oh, we got, we have another little Easter egg for that, which is fun. Yeah.

Oh, okay. No, no, no.
It's that you were right on you. That was like a perfect setup.
But more like Linda. I just feel so bad for her.
She's like, she's like Danny Glover in Lethal Wax.

I'm old for this shit.

Right.

Right. She's almost out of it.

I got three days to retirement. Chris Rock comes and rocks up her daughter.
God damn it.

Oh, so James Blair at this point is at the Allen Correctional Institution. He is prisoner number A691018, if you want to find him.
He looks insane. I wouldn't advise interaction, probably.

Not sure.

It looks like here his first parole hearing will be in June of 2038.

So that's a while. Now, the murder house itself.
Yeah. The murder house here.
Let me, I'll show you guys here. Will wants to know.
See that. There is the murder house.
I don't know if you can see.

There's that.

Oh, I got more pictures. James Blair up now.
Okay.

It's a nice place. Yeah, it's a nice little house.

There's the lawn that caused all the problems. Wait, show me again.
Sorry, show me again. I was looking at James Blair.
There we go. Oh, yeah.
Nice, cute little house.

There's the lawn that caused all the problems, as we can see. Oh, wow.
Oh, all that grass. If only somebody would have just thrown down gravel, this whole

fake turf. Some fake turf.
Everything could have been avoided. This one's on global warming.

It was

hot.

If she had just like mowed it earlier in the day,

it wasn't so hot. Oh, man.
It's all the humidity. That's what it was.
Fucking global warming. So it looks like this house is for sale at this moment.
Right now. It looks like it's.
Oh, you got it.

Let's pull our money, Will.

We're putting it in. Let's do it.
What's it for sale for?

It is, let's see, 4340 Kirkwood Drive, Willard, three-bedroom, two-bath, 1,200 square feet, $204,800.

So, oh my gosh, what is it? How do you do that? $80,000. Not even $80,000 a piece.
Hold on. Whose responsibility is it to mow the lawn, though?

We got to figure that out. Will

okay.

As long as Will will take that. I'm a little worried to mow the lawn.

I wear a metal face guard. I hope whatever I do.
Bring those steel jeans.

He wears his dog running jeans.

And

like a jousting knights outfit as well, a face mask and everything. That's smart, well it's very smart incredible

see we knew you were good

i just i just i just chew all the grass

so that everybody is willard ohio wow and a crazy ass little story here i mean that uh unbelievable this is what happens all the time and like all over the place just people shooting their neighbors running them over with lawn mowers it's normal it's just regular so if you like that story get on whatever app you are listening on and give us five stars it helps tremendously follow on social social media.

We are at Small Town Murder on Instagram, at Small Town Pod on Facebook. Do all that stuff.

All that stuff. Shut up and give me murder.com is where you get all of the tickets for live shows, especially we have the virtual live show coming out the Thursday before Halloween.
So get on that.

Tickets are available right now. Also, Seattle in October.
Everything's sold out up until then. Let's go.
At the more. Few tickets left there.
So get in there and sell that out and do that.

Patreon.com slash crime and sports.

You get all the bonus episodes for five bucks and you get the back episodes you get uh you get uh ads all three shows on all of our shows and you get a shout out at the end of the regular show but will here yeah watch september the 19th that's today that's haunted hotel everybody yeah the show comes out it'll come out on friday that's right so definitely check that out it is so so funny and so good will's hilarious in it and honestly every there is not every voice performance is so strong in this show that

it's a good group of voice actors. It really is.
It's tremendous. And that makes all the difference, obviously, because that's the only thing we can get out of a performance of some of the actor.

And man, everybody's so good at that.

It can be terrible animation, and the voices can carry the show, too, and the jokes and the writing. But the show's got it all, too.
The crisp animation is incredible. It's so nice.

It really is. It's visually appealing too.
It really is. Yeah, it's not like.

Yeah, you watch South Park and you go, this is hilarious. It obviously looks like shit on purpose, but right.
They clearly put the money into the writing because they don't give a shit about this.

Yeah, but this is like just a tremendously done project. What a project.
It's great. And Will, honestly, I looked at your IMDb and you are a working son of a bitch, man.
You are,

dude, you are not lazy.

Very fortunate.

Yeah.

Like,

I,

after SNL, I've, I, you know, I, I wasn't sure I'd ever get a job again.

Really, man,

Dora, and I just got got really, really fortunate. So I feel very blessed.

Well, as the macho man Randy Savage always said, the cream always rises to the top, Will, and that's you. You are the cream, my friend.
You have risen to the top.

And honestly, we love everything you do. So it's been

a part of this. It's been so much fun having

a real honor to be on here with you guys. 6.32.
6.32.

That's right. And remember, you have lawn duties.
So, just so you know, you're on lawn duty. Watch out for that.
So, thank you so much to Will. We appreciate you.

And everybody out there, if you want to follow us on social media, head over to shutupandgivemeurder.com. And there's a drop-down menu.
Anything else you'd like to plug, Will?

Tell the people to go see, follow you, do anything? No, I want to come see you guys live. I want to

plug you guys. Go see them live.
It's been so much fun talking. We love to.
We love to.

Anytime, you're more than welcome.

I'm going to put your name on the list at every show we ever do now.

And if you want to show up, show up.

Tell them I get to. Show up.
They'll be there.

You can come hang out with us. So thank you so much.
We really appreciate it. It's been great having you.
Thank you. And everybody, until next week, it's been our pleasure.
Bye. Bye.

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