S24 Ep17: Wounded

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Speaker 3 Something Was Wrong is intended for mature audiences and discusses upsetting topics. Season 24 survivors discuss violence that they endured as children, which may be triggering for some listeners.

Speaker 3 As always, please consume with care. For a full content warning, sources, and resources for each episode, please visit the episode notes.

Speaker 3 Opinions shared by the guests of the show are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of broken cycle media. All persons are considered innocent until proven guilty in a court of law.

Speaker 3 Responses to allegations from individual institutions are included within the season.

Speaker 3 Something was wrong and any linked materials should not be misconstrued as a substitution for legal or medical advice. I'm Tiffany Rees, and this is Something Was Wrong.

Speaker 11 Hi, I'd like to introduce myself. I'm Terry.
I'm here because I sent my son to a troubled teen facility back in 2003. I thought he would be safe.

Speaker 11 They promised me a lot of good things, and I was desperate to help him. So I sent him to a school called the Academy at Ivy Ridge, or at least I thought it was a school.

Speaker 11 Hindsight tells me that it wasn't a school. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of survivors and a lot of schools just like it.

Speaker 11 And the reason I'm doing this is because due to my son attending that program, he took his own life.

Speaker 11 I am here to tell the truth so that no other parent has to go through this.

Speaker 11 I don't ever want anybody to have their child taken from them so tragically. It's terrible when you think you're doing something to help your child and it doesn't have a happy ending.

Speaker 11 Anthony was a great kid, a lot of fun. In middle school, he joined the football team.
He was a husky kid. Between eighth grade and ninth grade, all summer he worked out, dieted, and ate very healthy.

Speaker 11 And when he went back to school, he was like 45 pounds lighter. The football coach took one look at him and said, what am I supposed to do with you now? I think that really damaged him.

Speaker 11 His ego was hurt. In his first year of high school, he started doing steroids.
Now, I didn't know at the time, but I had seen an after-school special or two.

Speaker 11 His behavior became erratic and he was not his usual happy self.

Speaker 11 I didn't really understand what was going on at the time, but I did say to my husband, if I didn't know better, I would tell you he was doing steroids because it seems like he gets rage.

Speaker 11 We had always been close and had a very loving relationship. He really treated me well.
And all of a sudden, he wasn't himself at all.

Speaker 11 I have two sons and I always have respected their privacy, but I was beside myself because it was such a drastic change in behavior. So one day he left for school.

Speaker 11 And I tore his closet apart and I found syringes.

Speaker 11 I almost had a heart attack. My first thought was heroin.

Speaker 11 I kept digging in his closet, and I actually found a little glass vial with a metal top, and it said right on it, anabolic steroids, which freaked me out beyond what I could even explain to you.

Speaker 11 He's a growing male. They're going to mess him up.
I confronted him, and that's honestly where the relationship started to go south. It was 11th grade, so it was 02 into 03.

Speaker 11 I was very concerned, and I took him to like an outpatient place where we could work on things and he could express himself. He would go in and talk one-on-one.

Speaker 11 Then we would both go in and talk together. I thought he was making progress.
In the meantime, as the months went by, he had started to drink a little with his friends, smoke some weed.

Speaker 11 Then it was clear to me that he was on to something else. And I was so worried worried about heroin the whole time.
To my knowledge, he never actually did heroin, but he did something called Roxys.

Speaker 11 He was doing painkillers. We had started counseling and I felt like he wasn't doing them anymore.
And then less than a week before Junior prom, he was in the car with someone as a passenger.

Speaker 11 She didn't have a license. She was 15.
And she was trying to show him how good she was doing driving with her mother's car, which he took without permission. And she drove my son into a house.

Speaker 11 He messed up his shoulder so bad he had to have surgery and pins and everything. I told them at the hospital, he cannot have painkillers, but they disregarded me.

Speaker 11 They gave him a morphine drip and then they gave him painkillers. So that didn't help.
By the time the end of school year came and he was facing the senior year, I was terrified. He would go out.

Speaker 11 He would be with his friends. He would break curfew.
I would actually go out and look for him because I was beside myself. I was so afraid something would happen to him.
I usually didn't find him.

Speaker 11 I knew we had to do something. The outpatient thing, we went twice a week.
I begged him to go inpatient. I had a facility out in the Hamptons.
They have an opening and he wouldn't go.

Speaker 11 Then maybe two weeks later, he said, you know what? I really need help. I want to go.
And they wouldn't have a bed. Everything went back and forth.

Speaker 11 I feel like I did everything that I humanly could do to try to help him. I figured we can handle this as a family, but it was bigger than us, and we couldn't handle it.

Speaker 11 I was at his guidance counseling, and there was an extra guidance counselor sitting in. She was a grad student who was learning and going to become a guidance counselor herself.

Speaker 11 I expressed the fact that I've exhausted every possibility that I could do. And I explained to them, he's 17.

Speaker 11 I'm responsible for him, yet I can't forcibly put him in rehab because they won't take him if he doesn't want help. So it left me in a very vulnerable position.
She told me about WASPs.

Speaker 11 She said it was a little new or different or controversial, but they had had a lot of success. But I'd have to research it on my own.

Speaker 11 I felt like, well, wow, this is pretty good information. Let me look into it.
So I looked up WASP. They had a whole host of schools.
We live on Long Island.

Speaker 11 So I decided on Academy at Ivy Ridge because it was still in New York, even though it was like five miles from Canada.

Speaker 11 It just made me feel better because some of the schools were out of the country or on the other coast. The other thing was the money.
My husband was a UPS driver and I was working in insurance.

Speaker 11 We're kind of blue collar. And the price tag was $3,490 a month, which was probably double my mortgage at the time.
We went on a virtual tour of the school.

Speaker 11 We spoke to Teen Help to try to get some counseling. What we didn't know at the time was that Teen Help was affiliated with WASP.
They addressed all my concerns and said this is the perfect solution.

Speaker 11 However, the price tag, I'm like, I have to see what I can do. I walked around pretty messed up about all this for a while because I just wanted my son to have a great life.

Speaker 11 After that, it was out of control enough that I made the phone call to have him go to Ivy Ridge. My husband and I went to the bank and we took a second mortgage on the house.

Speaker 11 We put it in an account to try to take care of his needs and counseling. We paid for extra, everything that would help him.

Speaker 11 The facility itself was locked down, but they portrayed the school as on these beautiful grounds, very outdoorsy, lots of trees. They said they had a football team.
They did hiking, swimming.

Speaker 11 They had events. They wore a uniform.
I thought it was like a military boarding school, but I thought they would treat him well.

Speaker 11 They would teach him to be respectful and not do the drugs and thought he would get better. I felt like because it's so pricey, only certain people could really afford it.

Speaker 11 So it must be good and i was gung-ho all in however i explained to teen help

Speaker 11 there was no way in hell my son was gonna get in the car and drive eight hours to ogdensburg new york wasn't gonna happen he worked out every day and he had a really good physique and i was no match for him neither was my husband they told us about teen escort Teen Escort will come get your child.

Speaker 11 They don't know that they're coming. We had them scheduled to come.
They would be at our home like two or three in the morning. Of course, he was sleeping.

Speaker 11 So when he woke up, he had two huge guys standing there telling him he was leaving the house and they were taking him.

Speaker 11 That's a hard memory for me because he was begging me not to send him, but I sent him. I just get the picture of those two men standing there and him begging for mercy.
and me letting them take him.

Speaker 11 I have to live with that for the rest of my life.

Speaker 3 Do you feel now that you were deeply deceived?

Speaker 11 Oh, absolutely. Anything in my mind I could think of that was bad, that would happen, was probably a one on a scale to one to ten.
And what actually happened was 10 plus.

Speaker 11 My first conversation with the dorm mom, she said that after he got processed, he was sitting in the chair with his arms folded. And he said, I'm not staying here.
My mom will be back.

Speaker 11 She's not going to let me stay here, which stabs me right in the heart every time I think about.

Speaker 11 I didn't come get him. I let him stay.

Speaker 3 How often were you updated about Anthony's progress while he was in the program? And were you allowed to communicate with him?

Speaker 11 Once a week, he had to write a letter home and we wrote him once or twice a week. It was a very hard time because we had been very close and all of a sudden he was just out of my reach.

Speaker 11 I didn't have any communication with him. The family rep would speak to me maybe once a week.
It definitely wasn't every day.

Speaker 11 She would update me on his progress, tell me if he needed anything. I would get him whatever he needed, t-shirts or toiletries.
I know that I bothered them a lot to get him certain things.

Speaker 11 I had to get special permission for him to use an electric razor.

Speaker 11 He got there August 12th of 03, and my first conversation with him where he was allowed to speak to me on the phone was December 19th, 2003. He had to earn the right to speak to me.

Speaker 11 He had to reach a certain level, and he was working hard to do it.

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Speaker 11 We had these seminars. The kids had them at the programs.
We had them as parents. It involved going to New Jersey.
going out to California, to San Diego, and they were pretty heavy duty.

Speaker 11 When I look back, it definitely was cult-like. The first one, the guy in charge of it that was speaking to us scared the bejesus out of me.
Dwayne, he was this really tall guy, pretty rough looking.

Speaker 11 You were afraid after a break to be like one minute late because he would embarrass you. At the time, I felt they were all for this really, really tough love.

Speaker 11 And I'm like, well, I guess I was doing it wrong because I'm a sap.

Speaker 11 By the time we got to the third seminar in San Diego, we did part one.

Speaker 11 And when we left, my husband told me, I will not be doing the part two. You need to cancel it because they had a group of guys dress up as the village people.
He was mortified.

Speaker 11 He was so stepping out of his box that he doesn't want to step out of. I was afraid to send them that email that we wouldn't be going because I knew they were going to come at me verbally.

Speaker 11 I said to them, I'll spare you any excuses. We're not going.
I didn't give them a reason.

Speaker 11 And it was within weeks of Anthony coming home.

Speaker 3 How long did he ultimately end up spending at Ivy Ridge?

Speaker 11 Seven and a half months. Originally, we wanted him to finish the program, which probably would have taken, I don't know how long.

Speaker 11 We told him when he went, he could come home on his 18th birthday in March if he had his diploma. I wanted him to finish his senior year and go on to college.
That's the dream and hope I have for him.

Speaker 11 And that's what he always wanted. So he graduated high school at Academy at Ivy Ridge, but he did not graduate the program because he was at level four.
And I think he had to be at level six.

Speaker 11 I'm not sure.

Speaker 11 He finished for his diploma in January at Academy at Ivy Ridge, but I had Academy at Ivy Ridge working with our school district to make sure he completed a curriculum to get a high school diploma from his high school.

Speaker 11 And he was able to walk with his class for graduation. So he did get two diplomas.
One was real and one was fake. And I guess you could figure out which one was fake.

Speaker 3 Did you guys talk a lot about Ivy Ridge in the years that followed?

Speaker 11 If he did bring it up, he would seem resentful, not mad at me, but he seemed not happy.

Speaker 11 And what I couldn't understand is he didn't bring it up a lot, but even when good things were happening in his life, he would maybe mention it. He would say, like, well, we weren't allowed to talk.

Speaker 11 And I would think, well, maybe you were sitting in school and you weren't allowed to talk.

Speaker 11 Or they were strict, but I didn't think you weren't allowed to talk ever at all, that you would get a consequence for talking. I couldn't even fathom that.

Speaker 11 I still thought that maybe he was a little privileged for having gone because not everybody could do that. And my answer to him was, Anthony, why are you looking behind your life is in front of you.

Speaker 11 That's done with. Now you don't have to even think about that anymore.
Just full speed ahead.

Speaker 11 He lived in Las Vegas with his brother and he went to UNLV and got his bachelor's degree. It took him quite a while to decide to go back and finish.

Speaker 11 One of my best memories is when he graduated UNLV in December. My husband couldn't go because of his job and I wasn't going to miss it for all the money in the world.

Speaker 11 So I flew out there and we had such a good time. He wasn't going to walk and I said, oh, Aunt, you did all this work.
I was so proud of him walking across that stage in his cap and gown.

Speaker 11 After graduation, we we went down on this strip and we had a beautiful dinner and we gambled together.

Speaker 11 Another great memory I have of him was during that time, and I stayed extra because I'm going to fly you all the way there. I'm going to stay.
He let me take his car.

Speaker 11 One of the last days I was there, I got up and took him to work. I went to like the dollar store and I bought decorations and stuff for Christmas.

Speaker 11 And I went back and I strung lights and I made a little village. I decorated his whole apartment for Christmas because that's how I am at home.
I like to decorate for every holiday.

Speaker 11 When he came in, he was like,

Speaker 11 the look on his face, I'll never forget it.

Speaker 11 My son had been away from home for seven years. When he came home, he was living with us for like two years and he was saving money because he wanted to like get his own place.
In May of 2021,

Speaker 11 My husband and him had a fight. And my husband told him, you're 35, you should have your own place.

Speaker 11 So he got his own place and he lived like 40 minutes from us on Long Island. He was struggling here and there.
The pandemic had come around.

Speaker 11 So his thoughts to be a fitness person were kind of dashed a little bit because of the pandemic. So he got a job in a union as a laborer.
It was actually a pretty good job. He lived in an apartment.

Speaker 11 He was doing good. And then he, it was like a roller coaster.
I can't even explain it.

Speaker 11 This one particular day, he called me at like 12 noon. It was a Monday.
And he said, Ma, and his voice cracked. And he said, I could really use a hug.
He was despondent.

Speaker 11 So I said to him, Aunt, I'll be there. I'm coming now.
So I got in my car and I went. He was laying on his bed.
I never saw him like that. I mean, beyond depressed.

Speaker 11 We were talking about a lot of different things. He was so distraught.

Speaker 11 I was so concerned that I basically sat on the edge of the bed and I, with one arm, like cradled him and told him it's going to be okay. And I thought, he is so wounded.

Speaker 11 And he just came out with it. He said, you know, mom, you think Ivy Ridge was so good.

Speaker 11 He told me that he was. sexually assaulted and he said, I'm not going to say anything else about it.
He was embarrassed.

Speaker 11 And he said, the only two people that knew were his current therapist that he was going to. And he told me, and that's it in his life.

Speaker 11 I was reeling because it's 18 years after the fact.

Speaker 11 And I'm thinking, you carried this all this time?

Speaker 11 I didn't even know what to say. I just held him tighter.
And the two of us were crying hysterically. Like I couldn't even come up with words.

Speaker 11 He said to me, Mom, you always tell me it's going to get better and I believe you. And then it doesn't.

Speaker 11 I lost it because I feel like I talked him off the ledge so many times over the years and he always appreciated the advice. He really listened to it.

Speaker 11 But this time, everything that was going to come out of my mouth, I had said already. I'd never seen a human being so emotionally wounded.

Speaker 11 I didn't want to insult him by saying something that I'd already told him. All I did was cry.
I couldn't find my voice. I felt so awful realizing that I put him into the lion's den.

Speaker 11 He did say to me, mom, please don't tell dad. It was very hard for me not to tell my husband.
I didn't even know how to tell him.

Speaker 11 He told me that I should go home. He's like, mom, there's a Nor'easter coming.
You know, I don't want anything to happen to you. Go home.
I'll be okay.

Speaker 11 But, you know, I felt like a piece of crap leaving him. I texted him as soon as I got home.
He texted me back. The next morning, he called me.
It was maybe quarter to nine in the morning.

Speaker 11 He said, Mom, I'm going to stop by. I said, okay.
So he came by. I was at the sink washing vegetables.
I never even heard him come in.

Speaker 11 I just turned and he was sitting on the love seat in the living room. I can't explain it.
It was a feeling and a vibe he was giving off that I didn't like.

Speaker 11 I had my sister here who's older than me and she was going to stay a few days. So we went out to the garage and had a cigarette.
And he was kind of quiet. He was showered, dressed.

Speaker 11 He said to me, Mom, I'm going to go.

Speaker 11 And I was like, Anthony, please don't go, please. I wanted to grab his arm, but I know he would have pulled away because he was determined to leave.
I asked him numerous times to please stay.

Speaker 11 Aunt Nancy's making you a favorite favorite dinner. He's like, nah, ma, I'm going to go.
Always, when I left him or he left me, we always told each other, I love you.

Speaker 11 So he told me, love me, and hugged me. And I watched him walk down the driveway.

Speaker 11 And of course, now I realize he came over to say goodbye.

Speaker 11 About 45 minutes later, The siren went off and I dropped to my knees in the kitchen. I put my head in my hands and I said the drain.

Speaker 11 My husband was walking by and he just looked at me with a look of being afraid.

Speaker 11 I checked my phone after the siren went off and it was a text from him from a couple minutes before the siren went off saying, I love you, ma. And I'm like, You just were here.

Speaker 11 You told me you love me. You hugged me.
Why are you telling me you love me? Like I got scared. Call it mother's intuition after

Speaker 11 i went to my knees in the kitchen i collected myself stood up and went back to the sink cleaning vegetables and then my neighbor next door she's like my sister we've been neighbors for 37 years she had called me the night before as i was driving home from his house and she knew he was having difficulty and my neighbor called me again and she said, is Anthony there?

Speaker 11 I said, no, he just left. But I have to tell you, you, I've never seen anybody so depressed before.
I had a very odd feeling when he was here. And the siren went off.

Speaker 11 And all I could think of was the train, because we've had a lot of kids over the years in 37 years stand in front of the train. She was like, oh my God, don't even say that.

Speaker 11 We hung up. And maybe five minutes later, she was tapping on my door with her fingernail saying, Terry, Terry.
She She sounded panicked in her voice. And I opened the front door.

Speaker 11 She said to me, I just went on Bayport Mom's and a train hit a car at the crossing. But there's lots of black sonatas.

Speaker 11 And I went, it's him. I know it's him.
My husband went flying out the door. I was beside myself.
I don't even remember saying one word to my sister. My poor sister was sitting in the chair.

Speaker 11 I was just all over the place, pacing and being hysterical. And I said, I got to go.
And my neighbor said, please don't go. Let Larry handle it.
It's going to be okay. It's all right.

Speaker 11 And I'm like, no, no, no. I have to go.
I went toward the driveway and she goes, you can't drive. And I go, all right, well, then I'll run.
I could probably make it in five minutes.

Speaker 11 Mind you, I'm in my 60s. She said, Okay, I'll take you.

Speaker 11 When I got to the scene, I had a local news reporter stick a mic in my face.

Speaker 11 I don't know how they knew, a maybe look on my face, trying to ask me questions, which I pushed out of my face and told them to stop.

Speaker 11 And my husband walked toward me, and he didn't even need words because I just looked at his face. And he goes, listen, we got to go to the hospital right now.
And I was like, okay.

Speaker 11 I went on to the hospital with my husband. And when we got there, people came in and

Speaker 11 asked me if we needed anything or wanted anything. And I said,

Speaker 11 yes, could you get me a priest? They were wheeling my son past.

Speaker 11 They stopped and the doctor said, we have to drain some fluid off of his brain. I knew he was gone.
He looked fine.

Speaker 11 You wouldn't have known he was in his car when the train hit him, but he had massive, extensive internal injuries.

Speaker 11 And then we sat down and my husband put his head in his hands and he goes, why?

Speaker 11 And all of a sudden the light bulb went on and I was like, I know why he asked me not to tell you.

Speaker 11 And I told him and he said, we did this to him. And I said, I know we did this to him.

Speaker 11 That was October 26th. A day or two later, they told us there was no brain activity.

Speaker 11 They asked us if we wanted to donate, and we said absolutely in unison, even though we hadn't discussed it, because we know that's what Anthony would have wanted.

Speaker 11 Anthony liked to feed the homeless, help people at the grocery store if he saw somebody struggling with heavy packages. He was just kind like that.

Speaker 11 I told them, as long as I can bury him with an open casket, please just tell me where to sign. Take whatever you want.
He would want you to, if it will help somebody else.

Speaker 11 It meant we had to keep him alive for extra days we had to keep him on life support because they had to get his body ready for donation and then it meant he ended up the last two days in manhattan which you know was a little bit of a hike from here but my husband said oh i don't know if i could do this and i said they said it could save up to 50 people and help them we have to do it And that was hard, but we did it.

Speaker 11 We got to go down to the operating room. They gave him an honor walk where every nurse and doctor in the vicinity lines the halls all the way as you walk by with the gurdy with Anthony on it.

Speaker 11 They all say thank you.

Speaker 11 We got down there. My other son said, Ma, I don't think I can do this.
We said, do what you want. Everybody's different.
We understand.

Speaker 11 He left. And then one guy said, do you want certain music on? And I'm like, I got to get my son.
He just left because he would know better than I.

Speaker 11 I knew artists that he liked, but I didn't know particular songs. The other guy came over and said, oh, no, no, no.
Your son just gave me, my son made like a little playlist for them to play.

Speaker 11 So he got to have his music because my other son took care of that for me. We were holding his hand and they disconnected the life support.

Speaker 11 When they do that, I would think the person would just pass as soon as they take it out, but they said it varies. It'll never leave my mind.
It comes back when you see a picture.

Speaker 11 It's hard to unsee it.

Speaker 3 I am so incredibly, deeply sorry for your loss and what your entire family and Anthony experienced. How would you like? Anthony to be remembered.

Speaker 11 With a twinkle in his eye and a smirk on his face, He said, My friend called me a mama's boy today. And I said, that's right.
I am.

Speaker 11 He wasn't afraid to love with his whole heart. He really was a good person.

Speaker 11 He was like me, very emotional, wore a sod on his sleeve, but always up for a good time, always ribbing and kidding me and very loving. His hugs were the best.

Speaker 11 And I think I miss his hugs the most.

Speaker 11 The people that run these schools, I don't think they realize. This is just the agony of one family.
I just don't think they understand what they do to the survivors.

Speaker 11 And I feel these people are getting away scot-free. It's just not right.
It's not fair. Nothing has happened to them.
They just get richer. They're told to close their schools.

Speaker 11 They close and they reopen, sometimes at the same location, under a different name. And they just keep scamming people.
I don't know how you could enjoy the money knowing what you're leaving behind.

Speaker 11 Wreckage. Some of these men and women, they'll have to live with this till the day they die.
Some of them had it worse than others, but they all had it bad.

Speaker 11 I can't even believe people could be that dastardly. They know what's going on.
They know the kids are being abused. I just don't think they should be allowed to get away with it.

Speaker 11 I think they should suffer because honestly, they destroyed my family. They destroyed my other son and my husband and me and a lot of his aunts and uncles and cousins and friends.

Speaker 11 They shouldn't be allowed to do this to people to destroy all those kids. It's a mortal sin.

Speaker 11 After he was gone, I remembered something he said to me a couple weeks before. His therapist's name was Lily.

Speaker 11 He said, I told Lily something that I've never told another human being. And I go, really? That's really great.
Hindsight said, should I have asked him more?

Speaker 11 I was going to.

Speaker 11 And then I felt like he's a 35-year-old man. He went to counseling on his own.
What he tells this therapist is between them, I was curious, but I certainly wasn't going to pry into his life.

Speaker 11 That did occur to me later. What if I had said anything you want to talk about?

Speaker 11 15 months after we buried him, I was sitting in my living room and his voice came into my head and I was back at a conversation he was having with me. He was on his way out.

Speaker 11 He had brought up Ivy Ridge and I'd say things like, do you think you would be where you are now if I hadn't have sent you there? Thinking I did a great thing.

Speaker 11 And he looked at me and he said, Ma, if you don't believe me, go onto YouTube. Look up Wasps.
Just do it. Unfortunately, I never did it.
I figured you're home, you're okay, you're in college.

Speaker 11 To me, it was a closed book. 15 months after his funeral, it was like February, and I was in the house cooped up.

Speaker 11 And his voice popped into my head saying that. And I went onto YouTube.
I went into Wasp Survivors. I would say at that point, I entered the Twilight Zone.

Speaker 11 I looked at a testimonial from a gentleman who was sent to, I think it was Casa by the Sea or Tranquility Bay when he was 12.

Speaker 11 And the director that was at Ivy Ridge when my son was there at the time was the director of the school this other gentleman was sent to when he was 12. It was a half hour interview with this guy.

Speaker 11 who halfway through the interview said what happened in between when he left, he was sent to the academy at ivy ridge and i just froze up until this point that i watched those youtube videos i honestly thought it was an isolated incident what happened to my son but after seeing his testimonial i was shaking my head going it wasn't just him

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Speaker 11 I contacted one of the young men who happened to go to the two schools, and the second school was Ivy Ridge. I emailed him cold, told him who I was, who my son was, what happened in a summary.

Speaker 11 And he got right back to me. We went back and forth a couple times.
When my son passed, I put his information for the services on his Facebook page.

Speaker 11 And I had somebody from Ivy Ridge that had gone with him reach out to me. I had a rapport with him.
He told me there's a documentary coming out in about six months.

Speaker 11 They've been working on it for years. It was the program Consequents and Kidnappings.

Speaker 11 He asked me if I'd like to come watch it with all the guys.

Speaker 11 I said to him that I wasn't sure after seeing it with them if I would be able to drive home because he lives in Queens. So I didn't go, but it opened my world.

Speaker 11 Catherine did such a fabulous job on it. And everyone that was in it, I'm just in awe of them.
They are so brave and so wonderful.

Speaker 11 If anyone watched that, there's no way you couldn't not feel something. It was just really profound.
I couldn't have imagined that it was as bad as it was.

Speaker 11 I've watched it quite a few times because I don't want to ever forget what he went through. Netflix had a page on Facebook with the program.

Speaker 11 I went on there and somebody came back and like attacked me. God may forgive you, but I won't.
What kind of monster are you that you could send your son to that place?

Speaker 11 And the survivors came to my rescue. They stuck up for me.
They befriended me. I have a great relationship with quite a few of them.
I love them. They're so close to my heart.

Speaker 11 They asked me if I would like to come up to Ogdensburg last April of 24. They were going to go up to the school.
and they were having like a survivor weekend.

Speaker 11 The townspeople of Ogdensburg never knew what the real story was. I think three days before I left, my friend Rob asked me if I would speak on the steps of the town hall.

Speaker 11 Normally, I would never do something like that. I'm very shy, but I just felt so strongly, I didn't even hesitate.
I had a really heavy schedule before I left there. I didn't have an hour to myself.

Speaker 11 The night before, I was helping them with signs and stuff at the hotel. When I got back to my room, I think it was after midnight.
I had to speak at 12 noon. The words just flowed out of me.

Speaker 11 It was the most normal I've felt in years. They made me feel welcome.
I felt close to Anthony. I felt like I understood their pain because I watched it, but I didn't know what it was at the time.

Speaker 11 Even the townspeople were so supportive. The survivors are my favorite people in the whole world.

Speaker 11 I just have so much respect for them and how much they've been through and how they want to comfort me when I'm the other side. But they embraced me.

Speaker 11 There was one girl in particular at first that defended me when people got on me. And we kept messaging back and forth from last April to this past February.

Speaker 11 I got a call that she passed away and that her service was going to be at five o'clock. And it was like 10 in the morning.
I jumped in the shower. I threw things in a bag.

Speaker 11 I looked at my husband and I said, I have to go. He knew that I had a friendship with her.
She had done some artwork and made my son's picture into a beautiful angel. She was in her late 30s.

Speaker 11 I could not believe that she passed away. It makes me more angry because her brother was also in the program before her.
And he passed away. She was like my rock.
And I was there for her as well.

Speaker 11 I just couldn't believe that she wasn't here anymore. I still can't believe it.
This just happened a couple months ago.

Speaker 11 The worst part about all this is some of the young men and women told me that their parents still don't believe them. Even after the documentary, I can't believe that, that they don't believe.

Speaker 11 I've even said, I'll speak to if you want me to. But they're like, it doesn't matter.
They're not going to believe it.

Speaker 11 That floored me because on on top of everything, to have your mother and father then believe that you're telling a lie.

Speaker 11 Honestly, if my son had told me the truth from the beginning, I would have immediately been in his corner. Absolutely.

Speaker 11 And I would have went after them, which I think he might have not told me for that reason, because he didn't want it out there.

Speaker 11 The only reason I'll put it out there now, I don't feel like I am violating the trust, because now my son is an angel. He's in paradise.
He's watching me going, okay, mom, it's okay. I know he is.

Speaker 11 I'm glad he told me because if he hadn't told me, I always would have wondered, is there anything I could have done?

Speaker 11 And I honestly think he told me because he wanted me to know that they did this, Dan,

Speaker 11 to know the truth, and he knew what he was going to do.

Speaker 11 I feel so bad for everyone that's not here, that is here and suffers and can't get the memories out of their head. I know life goes on, but it never goes away.
It's always there.

Speaker 11 You're having a good time, and then all of a sudden it'll pop in your head and you could feel your heart actually sink.

Speaker 11 I'm never going to be free again. I'm always going to carry it and I'm always going to have that memory.
It's very hard to live with knowing that you tried to help your son and it hurt him instead.

Speaker 11 I think that's the hardest thing of all.

Speaker 3 Do you think that Anthony knew that your intentions were to help him?

Speaker 11 Well, I can tell you he sent me a lot of signs. So I think he's watching.
I think he knows that I just wanted the best for him, always.

Speaker 11 I told him that many times. He trusted me.
I know he knew I loved him more than anything. I miss him terribly.
He was my bud. I try to honor him, which is why I went up to Ogdensburg.

Speaker 11 I've written letters to senators, and anytime there's a bill up, I always back it up. I'll do anything just to put a stop to this.
And that's what's so remarkable about the survivors.

Speaker 11 The ones that were hurt so much are the kindest, and it doesn't seem right. They're the first one to stick their hand out and put their arm around you and console you when they're hurting so bad.

Speaker 3 It's a great honor to speak with you and be able to share a bit of Anthony in hopes that we can continue to try to make change and get every single one of these fucking places shut down.

Speaker 3 I am a strong believer that Anthony is with you and is seeing all the amazing things you're doing to advocate for survivors, and you're still fighting for him.

Speaker 11 I will fight for him till the day I die.

Speaker 3 Next time on something was wrong.

Speaker 27 Month three or four, my parents could come out and visit.

Speaker 11 We do in-person family therapy.

Speaker 27 And then if we were on the appropriate level, we could go off-site with them for a couple hours.

Speaker 11 And so my dad took me to lunch. I was in such a state of fear.
He could only take me to lunch and then return me.

Speaker 27 We're sitting in the restaurant and I had to to go to the bathroom and I looked at my dad and I was like, can you come stand outside the bathroom?

Speaker 3 And he was like, why?

Speaker 27 I hadn't gone to the bathroom unsupervised and I was just so afraid to be in a public bathroom by myself that somehow I was going to do something wrong and I was going to get in trouble.

Speaker 3 Something Was Wrong is a broken cycle media production created and produced by executive producer Tiffany Reese, associate producers Amy B.

Speaker 3 Chessler and Lily Rowe, with audio editing and music design by Becca High.

Speaker 3 Thank you to our extended team, Lauren Barkman, our social media marketing manager, Sarah Stewart, our graphic artist, and Marissen Travis from WME.

Speaker 3 Thank you endlessly to every survivor who has ever trusted us with their stories. And thank you, each and every listener, for making our show possible possible with your support and listenership.

Speaker 3 In the episode notes, you'll always find episode-specific content warnings, sources, and resources. Thank you so much for your support.
Until next time, stay safe, friends.

Speaker 21 Ranked number one in innovation 11 consecutive years, Arizona State University isn't just ahead of the curve.

Speaker 20 It's creating new paths to success.

Speaker 23 Learn from notable clinical and research faculty.

Speaker 24 Online, that's a degree better. Explore programs at ASUOnline.asu.edu.

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