How Do You Create Happiness? & Why Dogs Behave the Way They Do

Speaker 1 I'm Alex Honnell, professional rock climber and founder of the Honnell Foundation.

Speaker 1 I wanted to let you know about a brand new season of the Planet Visionaries podcast in partnership with the Rolex Perpetual Planet Initiative.

Speaker 1 This is the podcast exploring bold ideas and big solutions from the people leading the way in conservation.

Speaker 1 Join me in conversation with the likes of climate champion Mark Ruffalo, biologist and photographer Christina Mittermeyer, and one of the most successful conservationists of our time, Chris Tompkins.

Speaker 1 Join us on Planet Visionaries, wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaker 2 Today, on something you should know, the interesting legal story of the song Happy Birthday to You. Then we explore the science of happiness.
Happiness, it seems, has three ingredients.

Speaker 3 It's enjoyment and satisfaction and meaning. We want to have a sense of enjoyment about our lives.
We want to take satisfaction in our activities and accomplishments.

Speaker 3 And we want to know the why of our existence. That's the journey and an adventure of a lifetime.

Speaker 2 Also, why do people crack their knuckles and is it harmful to do it? And a leading expert with some advice for every dog owner.

Speaker 4 If every single person in the world learnt that if their dog turns their head away from them or gets up and walks away, that you do not follow, we would dramatically reduce our dog bite incidents across the world.

Speaker 2 All this today on something you should

Speaker 2 It's time for Black Friday, Dell Technologies biggest sale of the year. That's right.
You'll find huge savings on select Dell PCs like the Dell 16 Plus with Intel Core Ultra processors.

Speaker 2 And with built-in advanced AI features, it's the PC that helps you do more faster.

Speaker 2 From smarter multitasking to extended battery life, these PCs get the busy work done so you can focus on on what matters most to you.

Speaker 2 Plus, earn Dell rewards and enjoy many other benefits like free shipping, expert support, price match guarantee, and flexible financing options.

Speaker 2 They also have the biggest deals on accessories that pair perfectly with your Dell PC, improving the way you work, play, and connect.

Speaker 2 Whether you just started holiday shopping or you're just finishing up, these PCs and accessories make perfect gifts for everyone on your your list. Shop now at dell.com/slash deals and don't miss out.

Speaker 2 That's dell.com/slash deals.

Speaker 2 Something you should know, fascinating intel, the world's top experts, and practical advice you can use in your life. Today, Something You Should Know with Mike Carruthers.

Speaker 2 You know, for being such a simple song, happy birthday to you sure has has a complicated story. Hi, and welcome to this episode of Something You Should Know.

Speaker 2 Happy Birthday to You was originally composed in 1893 as Good Morning to All by Patty Smith Hill, a kindergarten teacher and principal in Louisville, Kentucky, and her older sister Mildred.

Speaker 2 She was a pianist and composer. After the song cropped up in the 1931 Broadway musical The Bandwagon, the family took took legal action.

Speaker 2 In 1934 and 1935, a publishing company published and copyrighted all six versions of Happy Birthday to You, crediting Mildred and Patty as the authors.

Speaker 2 And since then, the song has been through many legal battles over who owns it.

Speaker 2 At one point, the song ended up being owned by the Warner Music Group and was taking in about $2 million a year in royalties.

Speaker 2 Just as an example, while directing the movie Hoop Dreams in 1994, filmmaker Steve James shelled out $5,000 to use that song in his movie.

Speaker 2 For many years, the reason restaurants often sang something other than Happy Birthday to You is because it would constitute a public performance and the restaurant would be subject to paying royalties for doing that.

Speaker 2 However, as of 2015, following a judge's ruling, Happy Birthday to You is now now in the public domain. Anyone can use it, anyone can sing it for free.
And that is something you should know.

Speaker 2 If you had to name a topic that comes up a lot in podcasts or books or anywhere really, it's happiness. People seem to be in pursuit of their own personal happiness in a big way.

Speaker 2 We've certainly discussed it before on this podcast with some of the leading names in happiness. And today we're going to take a look at the topic through a different lens.

Speaker 2 It's the lens of Arthur Brooks. Arthur is a professor at the Harvard Kennedy School and a professor of management practice at Harvard Business School.

Speaker 2 He's a columnist at The Atlantic and one of the top experts on the science of happiness. He's author of a book called The Happiness Files, Insights on Work and Life.

Speaker 2 Hey, Arthur, welcome to Something You Should Know.

Speaker 3 Hi, Mike. Great to be with you.

Speaker 2 So you might assume that there is all this information and books and seminars and things about happiness because it's something people want and they must struggle with it.

Speaker 2 Because if it was easy to obtain, people wouldn't need all this help. So

Speaker 2 why are people struggling with happiness?

Speaker 3 Well, it's funny. They struggle with it because it's what they want and it's what they can't get naturally in their ordinary life.

Speaker 3 It's a weird thing that the thing that people most want seems to be the most inaccessible thing.

Speaker 3 You'd think it'd be something, a problem we would have solved and are now selling on the internet or providing by the government.

Speaker 3 And yet it still seems to be this, the biggest, most elusive mystery in life.

Speaker 2 And I wonder, though, if people understand what it is, because

Speaker 2 maybe what they're seeking isn't really happiness, or maybe what they think is happiness is really something more like pleasure and not happiness. Like, what is it to you?

Speaker 3 Yeah, well, the truth is, you're exactly right. That the reason it's such a frustrating journey for so many people is because they truly don't understand happiness.

Speaker 3 When I ask most people, including my students at Harvard, what is it that you think you're here in class to study? I do this on the first day of class, obviously.

Speaker 3 They always talk about, well, you know, I can't quite define it, but I know when I feel it, or it's how I feel when I'm with the people that I love or something like that.

Speaker 3 And I say, beautiful, beautiful, poetic, wrong.

Speaker 3 Happiness isn't a feeling. It isn't.
Feelings are evidence of happiness, kind of like the smell of your turkey is evidence of your Thanksgiving dinner.

Speaker 3 If you're looking for the feeling of happiness, you're just going to be going through the rest of your life hoping for the best. And that's what most people are actually doing.

Speaker 3 There's several mistakes that they make about happiness, but that's the fundamental one. That's actually where it starts.

Speaker 3 So I go to the sort of the drawing board at the very beginning of my classes and my lectures to say, okay, if it's not a feeling, what is it?

Speaker 3 And the answer is, well, kind of like you'd define your Thanksgiving turkey, your dinner, which is not the smell of the turkey, but a combination of macronutrients, protein, carbohydrates, and fat.

Speaker 3 And happiness works the same way. It's a very tangible combination of three things in people's lives.
It's enjoyment and satisfaction and meaning. These are the three elements of it.

Speaker 3 We want to have a sense of enjoyment about our lives. We want to take satisfaction in our activities and accomplishments.
And we want to know the why of our existence, the meaning of our lives.

Speaker 3 And each one of those things is a different pursuit. It takes different skills.
And we're in different places. And that's the journey and an adventure of a lifetime.

Speaker 2 Is it a rock-solid thing in the sense that can you be happy and still be going through difficulties, through grief, through trouble, and still be happy?

Speaker 2 Or must you resolve that to get back to happiness?

Speaker 3 That's a great question because that's the second big mistake that people make. They think that they have to eradicate the negative parts of their lives to actually be happy.

Speaker 3 And the mistake that they're making is thinking that happiness and unhappiness are opposites and mutually exclusive. Kind of like light and dark can't coexist.

Speaker 3 If there's dark in the room, it means it's not light. And they think that if there's unhappiness in my life, it means there's no happiness.
And that's exactly wrong.

Speaker 3 One of the ways that I teach this is by

Speaker 3 I teach a lot of neuroscience in my class. And one of the things that we know is that

Speaker 3 emotions associated with happiness and unhappiness are produced literally in different parts of the brain because all emotions are

Speaker 3 an alert system that there's something around you that either should be avoided or should be approached it's either a threat or an opportunity negative emotions that make you feel unhappy sadness anger disgust uh fear these are things that say there's a threat and and joy and interest and these these positive emotions they say there's an opportunity you should go you should go get it is what they say and and the result of it is that you need both Both are really, really important.

Speaker 3 Unhappy feelings and happy feelings are both extremely critical for leading a good life and they coexist. But here's where it gets complicated, Mike.

Speaker 3 It turns out that for you to get to be excellent at happiness, to get happier over the course of your life, you need to get extremely comfortable with unhappiness.

Speaker 3 For enjoyment, for example, you have to pass on a lot of pleasures to actually be governing your own sense of enjoyment.

Speaker 3 For satisfaction, you need to defer your gratifications, delay feeling good right now.

Speaker 3 And for meaning, of course, you need to pass through all kinds of negative experiences so you can know the meaning of your life.

Speaker 3 And here's the weird thing that people come to understand once they really, really get good at happiness. It encompasses,

Speaker 3 it covers, it requires a whole lot of suffering. For you to get happier, you have to learn how to be unhappy along the way.

Speaker 2 Is that kind of like you have to be hungry to enjoy a good meal kind of thing?

Speaker 3 That's like a lot of things in life, and that's a good analogy, to be sure.

Speaker 3 You won't enjoy your dinner unless you're hungry. And that's one of the ways that we actually teach one of these lessons, specifically about satisfaction to our kids.

Speaker 3 You know, when you're a parent, which most of the people listening to us are or will be at some point.

Speaker 3 And let's say that you're, you know, you pick your kid up from little league practice and you're driving home at 4.30 in the afternoon and you drive by the Dairy Queen and the kid starts whining.

Speaker 3 I want want an ice cream. We won the game.
Let's get an ice cream. And you say, no, and they say, why? Because they're smart.
And you say, because you're going to spoil your dinner.

Speaker 3 So they say, so what?

Speaker 3 And then you lie. At this point, you lie to your kid.
You say, that's not good for you to spoil your dinner that way. That might be true, but that's not the main reason.

Speaker 3 What you want is for them to enjoy their dinner. And the only way they're going to enjoy the dinner is they get to dinner hungry.

Speaker 3 And therein, you're not just worried about their satisfaction or their enjoyment.

Speaker 3 You want them to learn a life lesson that when they delay delay their gratifications and they suffer a little bit, life is sweeter along the way.

Speaker 3 You're teaching them to suffer so that life will be better. And that's just one of the great secrets to life.
You don't have to go out in search of suffering, by the way. It will find you.

Speaker 3 The question is: what do you do when it does find you? Do you bear up under it? Do you learn from it? Do you grow from it? Or you just try to eliminate it and run away from it?

Speaker 3 That's the wrong strategy, and it leads to a whole lot of misery.

Speaker 2 Is happiness, though, is happiness the result of something or is happiness in and of itself a worthy goal? Or is these other three things that you must do?

Speaker 2 And then when you do them well, when you achieve that, happiness just knocks at the front door?

Speaker 3 Well, it's a good question because you do need to decompose happiness and have as a strategy things in your life that will bring you greater enjoyment, satisfaction, and meaning.

Speaker 3 That's how you can understand

Speaker 3 what your objectives actually are to say, today I'm going to go pursue happiness. That's just too big.
That's just too diffuse, as a matter of fact.

Speaker 3 But on the other hand, if you say, I'm going to manage my pleasures so they don't manage me, that's a question of enjoyment.

Speaker 3 I'm going to defer my gratifications and set my sights on bigger things that I'm going to find satisfying. And I'm going to go in search of the meaning of life today.

Speaker 3 And there's a whole bunch of ways to do that. That's what I write about a lot.
Then happiness will find you because you've decomposed it into its component parts and pursued the right things.

Speaker 2 And And so, give me some examples of that. Because

Speaker 2 when you seek enjoyment or you seek the meaning of life,

Speaker 2 I'm just going to go have breakfast.

Speaker 2 It seems too lofty for me.

Speaker 3 No, I understand. So, let's take the hardest one of all, which is the meaning of life.
And I have a lot of data.

Speaker 3 We've all seen, whether we have data or not, that there's been an explosion of mood disorders, especially among adults under 35. And mood disorders means depression and anxiety.
So, sadness and

Speaker 3 unfocused fear have really gone through the roof, multiples, at two or three times the level of what it was by about 2005. And everybody's asking why, what's going on? What's going on?

Speaker 3 And people say it's because of too much social media, because tech is eating our brains, or because parents don't raise their kids right, or because the kids are a bunch of, you know, delicate flowers or something.

Speaker 3 No, no, no, no, no. These are not the explanations.
The explanation is that it's gotten harder and harder to find the meaning of life.

Speaker 3 I have done a lot of research on this particular topic, and it turns out you don't just say, go find the meaning of life. You're right, Mike.
You're like, I'm just going to have breakfast.

Speaker 3 I've got it. It turns out that people used to do certain things that gave them a big sense of life's meaning that they're not doing anymore.

Speaker 3 It's really important to, and by the way, the way that you do this research is super interesting. So the

Speaker 3 depression and anxiety explosions, we call that a psychogenic epidemic, which is a source of huge, huge misery that's not biological in origin. That's a psychogenic epidemic.

Speaker 3 And when you see any kind of epidemic, biological or psychological, the first thing you look at is people who are not suffering from it and see how they're different.

Speaker 3 Well, when we're talking about this explosion, what you find is that there's a minority of young adults that are almost seemingly immune from these mood disorders.

Speaker 3 And the reason is because they're doing literally six things that bring them a sense of meaning every day.

Speaker 3 These are the people who are more likely to have deep friendships with whom they have very profound

Speaker 3 philosophical conversations, which most people don't do anymore because they're distracted by devices.

Speaker 3 These are people who are more likely to actually be falling in love and taking risks for falling in love and not using dating apps.

Speaker 3 These are people who are more likely to say that they're searching for their calling in their work, not just a paycheck.

Speaker 3 These are people who tend to be more religious or at least more philosophical than other people. They're looking for something transcendent.

Speaker 3 These are people who have a lot of beauty in their lives, moral beauty, natural beauty, artistic beauty, which is largely bereft of many people's lives when they're working indoors all day long.

Speaker 3 And last but not least, these are the people who are not afraid to suffer.

Speaker 3 They're not, they don't believe the, you know, the, in the therapy industrial complex that tells young people today that suffering means that something's wrong with you.

Speaker 3 That if you're sad, it means you're broken. We need to eliminate your suffering.
They say, no, that's, man, that's that's part of being fully alive.

Speaker 3 So young people that are immune from this problem, they do those six things.

Speaker 2 We're exploring the science of happiness with Arthur C. Brooks, who is a Harvard professor and author of the book, The Happiness Files.

Speaker 2 With the weather getting colder and the holidays upon us, I just want my wardrobe to be easy. Things that look sharp, feel great, and last season after season, which is exactly what I get from Quince.

Speaker 2 I reach for my Quince cashmere sweaters constantly. They're 100% Mongolian cashmere, and somehow they're just 50 bucks.
Soft, warm, and the kind of everyday luxury that doesn't feel overdone.

Speaker 2 And their denim is another favorite, great fit, easy to wear, and it holds up beautifully. And if you're looking for a holiday gift to give without the big price tag guilt, Quince is perfect for that.

Speaker 2 Those cashmere sweaters I just mentioned, they make great gifts. And their wool coats, you gotta check them out.
They're stylish and durable, and their quality is top of the line.

Speaker 2 It's It's amazing how many people have found Quince and love it. What I love is how Quince works directly with ethical factories and top artisans cutting out the middlemen.

Speaker 2 So you get premium quality at half the cost of other high-end brands. It's luxury without the markup, which means you can give something nice this season or keep it for yourself.

Speaker 2 Give and get timeless holiday staples that last this season with Quince. Go to quince.com/slash SYSK for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns.
Now available in Canada too.

Speaker 2 That's quince.com slash sysk free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash sysk

Speaker 2 You know, my mornings used to be a scramble, coffee, breakfast, trying to remember what supplements to take. It was a lot to juggle.

Speaker 2 And now I start every day with a single scoop of AG1 and it's made my morning so much easier and better. In one mix, here's what I get.

Speaker 2 I get nutrients from real whole foods plus prebiotics, probiotics, and enzymes that support my digestion and gut health. After just a few weeks, I mean, I can tell it's working.

Speaker 2 My energy feels steady all day. I don't have to think about juggling five different pills or powders.
And what I love is that AG1 isn't just another supplement.

Speaker 2 It's a daily micro-habit that supports whole body health in one scoop. It's simple, it's consistent, and it fits easily into my routine.
One scoop, shake, drink, done.

Speaker 2 And I know I've done something good for myself before the day even starts. It's become a small ritual that sets the tone for the entire day.
AG1 helps me stay one scoop ahead.

Speaker 2 Head to drinkag1.com/slash slash something to get a free welcome kit with an AG1 flavor sampler and a bottle of vitamin D3 plus K2 when you first subscribe. That's drinkag1.com/slash something.

Speaker 2 So, Arthur, it seems to me that satisfaction and enjoyment are very episodic. That I can feel a sense of satisfaction today.

Speaker 2 Tomorrow it could be all gone because something happened and I'm not feeling satisfied at all. So it isn't like my life is satisfying.

Speaker 2 My days might be or my episodes might be, but I don't think of myself as a satisfied individual.

Speaker 3 It depends on, it goes from person to person and even from culture to culture, as a matter of fact. You know, all of those worldwide happiness surveys that they look at the happiest countries.

Speaker 3 They're basically nonsense, by the way, because people answer the happiness questions in different ways.

Speaker 3 And case in point is that when they go to the Nordic countries, that always score on top of these happiness indices, the reason that they say, yeah, I'm really happy, is because they believe that they're very contented, that they have a strong sense of ongoing satisfaction.

Speaker 3 Now, the reason, Mike, that you don't feel that way, it feels more episodic to you, is because, well, I'm just going to guess that your grandparents or great-grandparents were immigrants.

Speaker 3 And one of the things that we know from the research is that people who come from immigrant stock, I don't know, where the Carruthers family from.

Speaker 2 Scotland. Does that make sense?

Speaker 3 Yeah, Scotland. There you go.
Of course. I should have known that.

Speaker 3 They came here because they were not contented people. And they have discontented kids and discontented grandkids, which makes you really successful.

Speaker 3 Like, you know, you could have done something conventional, but like, no, I think I'm going to start a really popular podcast. That's an odd thing to do.

Speaker 3 Contented people don't do weird stuff like that. So the truth of the matter is that we're all different with respect to how easy it is to maintain a sense of dissatisfaction.

Speaker 3 One point, however, that's worth pointing out for everybody, whether you're a person with a burr under his saddle or you're somebody who just like who really likes that comfy couch.

Speaker 3 And that is that satisfaction is more enduring and more efficiently attained, not when we do what people typically do, which is I'll be satisfied when I have more.

Speaker 3 And if I have more and more and more, sooner or later I'm going to have enough, because that's wrong. when it comes to money and power and pleasure and fame, particularly.

Speaker 3 The answer is when you can learn how to want less, then satisfaction can be yours more, no matter who who you are.

Speaker 3 Real satisfaction is all the things that you have divided by all the things that you want. Haves divided by wants.

Speaker 3 The secret to more enduring satisfaction for all people is managing the denominator by wanting less as opposed to having more.

Speaker 2 Even people who are happy, don't they fall below the line sometimes? And I mean, it's not something you achieve and whoop, now I'm happy.

Speaker 3 Yeah, for sure. And your happiness does fluctuate.
What fluctuates even more is your unhappiness.

Speaker 3 And so you'll find people who are, in general, very happy people who have episodes of extreme unhappiness because that's normal.

Speaker 3 That's how we're evolved. We're evolved to feel kind of mild happiness and intense unhappiness.

Speaker 3 That's the reason that the Brookses and the Carruthers of the world, they exist today, because their ancestors were able to pass on their genes.

Speaker 3 The reason that your ancestors passed on your genes is because that intense unhappiness when there was a major threat, it got their attention.

Speaker 3 They didn't get eaten by a leopard as a result result of that.

Speaker 3 So they've passed on the tendency for people to feel intensely unhappy from time to time, even if they're otherwise extremely happy people. This is one of the things that

Speaker 3 I always talk about with my students. Look, as a matter of fact, we have a test on the intensity of your happiness and your unhappiness.

Speaker 3 And I find that a lot of very unhappy people have also intense periods of unhappiness. And I say, good.
That means you're fully alive, man. That means you're really experiencing life.

Speaker 3 That means you're not kind of a, I don't know. You're somebody who's really, really, really in it.
And it's, it's good to be alive.

Speaker 3 And it's normal to feel an intense unhappiness no matter how happy you are.

Speaker 2 Do you think when you work with people, is it your sense that,

Speaker 2 well, first of all, that unhappy people know they're unhappy or

Speaker 2 this is just life and other people are a big disappointment, but

Speaker 2 this is just the way it is. Or do they really admit that, yeah, my life is miserable and I'm unhappy?

Speaker 3 They know. Unhappy people know.
I mean, the people who don't know are the happy people because they're not thinking about it very much. And I'm talking about happier and unhappier.

Speaker 3 There's no such thing as a happy person because everybody has negative emotions and everybody has negative experiences, which once again is an ordinary part of life.

Speaker 3 But people who are unhappier, they're very aware of it. When people are suffering from, for example, anxiety and depression, they know.

Speaker 3 There's nobody who goes through life and it's like, oh, slaps their forehead and say, ah, for the past 30 years, I've been miserably clinically depressed.

Speaker 3 Even if they can't put a word on it, they know that

Speaker 3 other people are doing better than me, man. I mean, other people are enjoying their days.
They're getting enjoyment from life. They're taking satisfaction and pleasure from their accomplishments.

Speaker 3 They have a sense of their purpose. And I don't, and I don't know why.
And that's an alarm system that there's something that you need to correct in your life.

Speaker 3 And that's, that's healthy and that's good. And, you know, one of the reasons that people take my class is that they're probably a little bit below average happiness.

Speaker 3 The happiest people don't take my happiness science class at Harvard. And I wouldn't do research on it if I were so far above average myself.

Speaker 3 On the contrary, I've traditionally been below average happiness. And bang, man, I knew it.
That's why I became a researcher in the whole field.

Speaker 2 But if I'm one of those people who is below

Speaker 2 the norm, if somebody comes to you and says, all right, so yeah, I sense that.

Speaker 2 I sense I'm not happy. And I've heard all this stuff that you've said, but what do I do right now?

Speaker 2 What do I do today and tomorrow to move from where I am and at least move a little bit towards where you want me to go?

Speaker 3 So what I would recommend to any listener listening to us right now is pay attention to four things. Put your time and energy into four accounts every day.
Number one, we'll call it faith.

Speaker 3 It also includes philosophy. And that means practicing something bigger than yourself.
One of the greatest sources of misery is thinking about yourself all the time.

Speaker 3 Second is pay more attention to family relationships. Many people have let those things wither idiotically, in many cases, because of politics.

Speaker 3 You need your brain needs, by the way, the neuropeptides called oxytocin and vasoprestin in your brain need your family relationships. Third is your friendships.

Speaker 3 More and more people, especially successful people, they have a lot of deal friends, but not that many real friends. Think about the people who are useless and you just love.

Speaker 3 It takes time to cultivate a relationship,

Speaker 3 but that will bring true joy. Call an old friend.
Go out with somebody that you actually just like for no reason.

Speaker 3 And last but not least, is thinking about what you're trying to do in your work by serving other people.

Speaker 3 This helps you to transcend your individual psychodrama, that try to earn your success by working harder and succeeding, becoming more excellent. And these are the things to do every day:

Speaker 3 the four areas to work on today to raise your happiness or your faith, faith, your family, your friendship, and serving other people through your work?

Speaker 2 Great answer. Great answer.
You must come across, because I come across them all the time. I know people who are very unhappy, seemingly unhappy, miserable people.

Speaker 2 And I sometimes think, I don't think they would want to be happy. Like they wallow in it.
Like if you made everything perfect for them, they wouldn't know what to do.

Speaker 2 Like, well, what am I going to complain about now?

Speaker 3 Yeah. So there are a lot of people who compulsively do things that are bad for them because in the short term, it gives them a sense of relief.
So complaining is a classic example of this.

Speaker 3 Unhappy people complain all the time, constantly, as a matter of fact.

Speaker 3 And this is actually what alienates them from friends and family because it's not that fun to be around whiners and people who are complaining constantly.

Speaker 3 It's sort of entertaining for a minute, but then it just becomes so negative that people don't actually like that.

Speaker 3 But their complaining is what gives them a sense of power because when you complain, you get other people's attention and they want other people's attention. They want other people's sympathy.

Speaker 3 When you say, my boss is a jerk, people say, oh, I'm so sorry. And that's actually kind of what you need.
The problem is it's a very short-term strategy. So

Speaker 3 I'll explain to anybody who's engaging in unhappy behavior, anybody who's listening to us right now who's a chronic complainer,

Speaker 3 the right strategy is to think about what you want in the long term. Start thinking about the relationships that you want to cultivate.

Speaker 3 When you complain, when you behave unhappily because you want more attention, you get unhappier. It's like alcohol, it's like compulsively drinking alcohol.

Speaker 3 It gives you momentary relief from your anxiety, and then it gives you more anxiety in the long run. The same thing is true about negativity and negative behavior.

Speaker 3 Many people act as if they don't want to be happier. They do.
Everybody wants to be happier, but they don't know how to get out of the vortex of complaining and unhappiness.

Speaker 3 And so, when this mechanism is explained to them, they they can actually start changing their behavior.

Speaker 2 Well, you've really given people something to think about because as you say, everybody would like to be happier. I mean, even happy people probably wouldn't mind being happier.

Speaker 2 And this is like a blueprint to get there. I've been talking with Arthur C.
Brooks.

Speaker 2 He is a professor at Harvard Business School, and he's author of the book, The Happiness Files, Insights on Work and Life. And there's a link to his book at Amazon in the show notes.

Speaker 2 Arthur, thank you so much for coming.

Speaker 3 That's right. I appreciate it, Mike.

Speaker 2 I want to tell you about a great new podcast I think you'll like. I'm loving it.
So what happens when our passions become obsessions?

Speaker 2 Well, on David Green is obsessed, one of America's most familiar voices and longtime co-host of NPR's Morning Edition seeks out obsessives of all kinds while unpacking his own fixations.

Speaker 2 You'll hear David talk to comedian Tig Notaro about her complex passion for plant-based food. Actor David Arquette on his love of Bozo the Clown.
Paula Poundstone on her house full of cats.

Speaker 2 Celebrity chef and author Michael Simon discusses why he just can't quit the Cleveland Browns, even though they often make him miserable, and so much more.

Speaker 2 It's pop psychology disguised as conversations with the world's most fascinating people.

Speaker 2 You can listen to David Green is obsessed wherever you get podcasts.

Speaker 2 Starting something new, like a podcast or a side hustle or your first business, can feel overwhelming. You have to wear every hat, creator, accountant, marketer, customer service, it's a lot.

Speaker 2 That's why I really like Shopify. It's the partner that helps you do all of it without needing to be an expert at everything.

Speaker 2 Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world, powering 10% of all U.S. e-commerce.

Speaker 2 And that's from big names like Mattel and Gymshark to entrepreneurs who are just getting started.

Speaker 2 You can design a beautiful online store in minutes with hundreds of their ready-to-go templates that fit your brand perfectly. And there's no coding required.

Speaker 2 Shopify's built-in AI tools even help you write product descriptions and create headlines, enhance product photos. And when you're ready to get the word out, Shopify makes marketing simple.

Speaker 2 You can run email and social media campaigns right where your customers are. And behind it all, Shopify is your commerce expert, handling payments, inventory, shipping, returns, and analytics.

Speaker 2 So you can focus on your ideas instead of your to-do list. Turn your big business idea into

Speaker 2 with Shopify on your side. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com slash SYSK.
Go to shopify.com slash SYSK. Shopify.com slash SYSK.

Speaker 2 You know what I find interesting is that so many people own and love their dogs, yet we're often baffled by them. Some of their behavior puzzles us.

Speaker 2 We don't know why they do some of the things they do. And for most of us, most of us dog owners, we haven't really been educated about what dogs want or need.

Speaker 2 We learn from experience or what other people tell us, and we have the best of intentions, but we don't always really know what to do. Well, here to help is Louise Glazebrook.

Speaker 2 She's a well-known dog behaviorist and dog trainer in the UK, and she's author of a book called The Book Your Dog Wishes You Would Read, How to Raise the Happiest Dog.

Speaker 2 Hi, Louise. Welcome to Something You Should Know.

Speaker 4 Thank you. Nice to be here.

Speaker 2 So I would like to start, because I know a lot of advice is very specific to breeds and the age of the dog and all of that. But I would like to start with some really

Speaker 2 important,

Speaker 2 general purpose advice for dogs that dog owners, that you think dog owners need to hear.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Don't use a ball lobber. So I don't know if you know what I mean.
I mean by, you know, the sticks that you buy and you put the ball on the end and you throw it really far for your your dog to chase.

Speaker 4 Don't use those.

Speaker 2 Because

Speaker 4 they create so many issues on so many levels. So when we use those ball lobbers, they're obviously a man-made design.
Dogs didn't design those.

Speaker 4 We designed those because we wanted to throw something further to wear our dogs out more.

Speaker 4 But what tends to happen is that what we do is we create a dog that runs really, really, really, really fast to chase something. And then that ball obviously has to come down and land.

Speaker 4 And when it lands, it stops very abruptly, which means that what we then do is we create gigantic problems on the dog's shoulders, on the dog's hips, on the dog's skeletal system, on their muscular system, which means that later on in life, we have dogs that end up with cruciate ligament problems.

Speaker 4 We have hip splash. We have lots of other issues going on.

Speaker 4 We also find that with those kind of games where we are increasing speed, where we are making them run, that for many breeds, it can increase their adrenaline, it can increase their cortisol, it can make them, it can make everything go very fast, which means it's then very difficult for them to calm down, which means that the whole nervous system is on alert and is heightened.

Speaker 2 But you're not suggesting that you not play ball with your dog. I mean, I've had dogs in my life that if they couldn't play ball,

Speaker 2 they would have no reason to live. Some dogs really love a ball.
So there must be an option.

Speaker 4 So, for example, if your dog loves the ball and they love to go after it, then a really easy change is that when you throw that ball, you throw it into the long grass and they go into the long grass and they use their nose to search for it because that's what dogs are incredible at doing.

Speaker 4 They've got brilliant noses. We've literally designed them to do this.
And that one change will save so many problems for your dog later on. It will make them calmer at home.

Speaker 2 What's another piece of advice that most dog owners probably don't know that would be really good to know?

Speaker 4 If every single person in the world learnt

Speaker 4 that if their dog turns their head away from them or gets up and walks away, that you do not follow, and that applies to children too, we would dramatically reduce our dog bite incidence across the world because that head turn is the first, what I call green light signal that a dog can give to let you know they either don't want it they don't feel comfortable or they feel uncertain in that situation and if we as humans respected that and backed away or walked off

Speaker 4 we would find that dogs don't need to escalate their behavior to keep us away from them. And that for me is one of the most important things that we can teach adults and children that live with dogs.

Speaker 2 I know you have very strong feelings about dog parks.

Speaker 4 Dog parks are something that I would really steer clear of, if you can.

Speaker 4 They

Speaker 4 condense dogs into an area where they have very little space, they can't escape interactions, and lots of owners will stand and chat and not really keep an eye on what their dog is doing and going through.

Speaker 4 And what we tend to find as puppies is that as owners, we want our dogs to be social.

Speaker 4 So we take them up to meet people we have them on the lead and we take them up to meet dogs and we say hi can my dog say hi to your dog and it all is very cute and disney-like but the reality is if we want our dogs to simply walk past another dog in the street to ignore another dog and not to be obsessed with them or to react against them we have to teach that So

Speaker 4 what we should actually be teaching is that when our dog sees another dog is that we do what I call the treat and trail, which is where you walk backwards and you are literally treating your dog as they follow you for walking past another dog or going past something that they weren't sure about.

Speaker 4 So that what you're teaching your dog in the long term is that when they see a dog, they don't go over to it, they don't need to run into it, they don't need to react to it, because what you have taught them is that you are going to just simply walk them past it and they are going to be rewarded heavily for doing that.

Speaker 4 And so that becomes your dog's expectation when they see another dog.

Speaker 4 And if we taught our dogs that, we would drastically reduce our dog's needs to react to other dogs on lead because they would know and feel safe and secure that you were going to get them past it and reward them and that no

Speaker 4 dog coming into them or no interaction was going to cause them stress or make them feel fearful.

Speaker 2 I sense that people have this belief that a dog is a dog. And yeah, there's different breeds, but you can pretty much mold a dog any way you want.

Speaker 2 But I've come to know, just from my experience with dogs, dogs are different. Dogs are as different from each other as people are different from each other.

Speaker 2 And if you're getting a dog, then you really have to know what kind of dog you're getting, meaning what are their inclinations and their behaviors typically.

Speaker 4 I think if you want a happy life with a dog, then definitely. I think it's like anything.

Speaker 4 You've got the the opportunity to choose a member of your family so why would you not take that seriously because we all know with family members that we end up with and things that can go on it can sometimes be difficult whereas if you have the opportunity to choose a family member you can really sit down and think about your life you can think about what do i actually want to spend my time doing what are the bits that i love whereas That's literally the opposite of what lots of people do.

Speaker 4 And then they have challenges and then they can struggle and then they can find dog ownership difficult.

Speaker 4 Whereas if we had those really frank conversations, we would have owners with happy dogs living happy lives together.

Speaker 2 What about people, though, who already have a dog or they get a dog, but they didn't go through a real vetting process where they chose the dog. It was just the dog at the pound they thought was cute.

Speaker 2 And now they have a dog. So the dog's already here.
Now what do we do?

Speaker 4 So what we then need to do is look at what does my dog need to be a happy dog? And again, it's going to vary depending on each of our dogs.

Speaker 4 And I think one of the things that's really important is that

Speaker 4 as owners or someone who's thinking about getting a dog is understanding that every dog is different in the same way that you and I are different and every human is different.

Speaker 4 And understanding that

Speaker 4 once we have that dog, it's really thinking about the exercise that we give, the games that we play, the training that we do. How can we make it fun?

Speaker 4 How can we make sure that my dog wants to hang out with me?

Speaker 4 I don't believe in systems where we are, you know, I hate the word command, telling your dog a command. I live with my dogs in a way that is, they are my companion.
They are a family member.

Speaker 2 It seems like people bring their dog home and it comes in the house and they make sure it doesn't, you know, pee in the house and all. But most people don't get into rigorous training.

Speaker 2 They just have a companion dog to go on walks and play with and and

Speaker 2 that kind of thing but you know they're not they're not going to enter it into a competition

Speaker 4 no but you've got to think about things like so i agree with you all of my clients are companion dog owners that's my that's that they're the people that i work with they're all they all want a best friend they all want a family member they all want a dog to be at home with but

Speaker 4 the way that we go about things so when we're looking at how we train, for example, recall, so getting your dog to want to come back to you when you call them or to listen to a cue when you say their recall word, whatever it is that you're aiming for.

Speaker 4 What we have to think about is imagine that your puppy is running towards you and they're so excited to see you because they think that you're amazing.

Speaker 4 And then they come into you and you're waving a finger at them saying sit. And then you're telling them to wait.
And then you don't give them the treat straight away.

Speaker 4 away and then you're telling them to get down because they're really excited because they can see or smell the treat what's going to happen the next time is that your puppy is going to lose motivation because they were really excited to see you and they were really excited to be with you but when they came into you you then put all of these barriers to learn in

Speaker 4 and so your puppy will slowly start to realize it's kind of not worth listening or i don't need to go back at this point or when i do go back what they promised me didn't happen and so it's not that people are necessarily being intentionally

Speaker 4 making it difficult or making it unenjoyable, but we have this idea that to train a dog needs to be done with, you know, telling them to do something.

Speaker 4 And actually, my version is we don't have to tell them.

Speaker 4 We can observe what they're doing, we can use it and capture it so that if my dog's running towards me and they're so excited to see me, and I know that they're going to jump up, then I would crouch down and and reward them from the ground so that they don't need to jump up, but they still get rewarded for coming into me.

Speaker 4 And I can then think about, right, they're going to jump up. So that's something that I need to work on instead of them running in, jumping up, me pushing them down and kind of spoiling that moment.

Speaker 2 Jumping up is a problem I think a lot of people have with their dog.

Speaker 2 People come over and the dog jumps on them or the dog jumps on the owner every time they come home and you try to say no, you put them down, you say no, and it doesn't seem to work.

Speaker 4 So, again, it goes back to why is the dog jumping up? So, I think if we approach everything of what does the dog get from it, so there could be lots of factors.

Speaker 4 We can have dogs that jump up because they're scared.

Speaker 4 So, we can have dogs that jump up because genuinely they're excited. We can have dogs that jump up because children have taught them to by holding toys up high, by keeping treats out of their reach.

Speaker 4 So, they have to try and jump and reach them. We can have dogs that actually have gastro pain and will jump up frequently because it stretches the gut and it can help relieve the pain.

Speaker 4 So there's lots of reasons why dogs can jump up. And so it's often a reason why when people are trying something and it's not working, it's because they haven't looked at why they're jumping up.

Speaker 4 It's just looking at the symptom, but not what's going on underneath that.

Speaker 2 Well, how would you ever know? I mean, how would you know whether your dog has stomach problems and that's why he's jumping when it seems like every time you come home, he jumps.

Speaker 2 It doesn't seem to have much to do with his stomach. It has to do with he's excited and he jumps up.

Speaker 4 If we're looking at something like a gut problem,

Speaker 4 a gastro problem, there would be other precursors to that.

Speaker 4 So if our dog was really frantic, if we had a dog that was chewing on their paws a lot, if we had a dog that was kind of air snapping with their mouth, if we had a dog that was doing a lot of lip licking, those can all be precursors that actually something in the gastro area isn't working, which is causing other behaviors.

Speaker 4 I think one of the other things that we have to focus on is that dogs can't talk. There is no ability to reason.
There is no ability to go through options.

Speaker 4 So our job as a human is to learn about dog behavior and start to understand why is something being what why is something happening? Why is something being done? What's going on for that dog?

Speaker 4 So when we're looking at jumping up, yes, it might be excitement and that might be the only reason.

Speaker 4 But we do also have to rule out other reasons to make sure that we're not then asking unrealistic things of that dog. So it's not always as simple as my dog is doing this one thing.

Speaker 4 I just need to change this. How do I do it? There is often another pathway that we need to take.

Speaker 2 What about barking?

Speaker 2 I mean, that's a thing that seems to be very difficult to break, that a dog that barks a lot for seemingly no apparent reason, or barks when people come over, or barks when the car goes by,

Speaker 2 and it's very annoying. How do you address that?

Speaker 4 Well, again, it depends on breed. So, if you've, for example, if you've chosen to go out and get a daxon that are designed to bark, we bred them to bark.

Speaker 4 They're designed to go down holes, find things, bark, and alert us when they're there. So, you're never going to get a quiet daxon.
So, again, it comes back to why did you choose that breed?

Speaker 4 Was it suitable for your lifestyle? And are those breed traits the things that you want your dog to do? Because if, for example, a dog that barks

Speaker 4 is vocal is not something on your kind of tick list,

Speaker 4 then we should really not be going out and seeking breeds that that is on their list of characteristics because you're not going to change that.

Speaker 4 The second thing is that we have to look at the reason why they're barking. So if, for example, we have a dog that is,

Speaker 4 I don't know, barking at everything that goes past the house, the reason that tends to happen is usually because there is a problem with pain and there is something that we need to figure out because that dog is

Speaker 4 not functioning well and they're not resting well and they're not sleeping well and they tend to be on high alert, which means that their threshold to exist in everyday life goes down.

Speaker 4 And so they will become more reactive to other outdoor noises, people, dogs, whatever it is.

Speaker 4 So, rather, like if you are feeling ill, if you are in pain, your tolerance levels go down, and the same is true of our dogs.

Speaker 4 But we as humans often don't see that because what we just see is barking and it being really annoying and it's really loud or it's interrupting or whatever it is.

Speaker 2 There does seem to be, and has been for some time,

Speaker 2 this trend of treating the dog like a member of the family, spoiling it, you know, dressing it up, buying it a bed that, you know, looks like a human bed and you know, making it like a child.

Speaker 2 Is that fine? Or

Speaker 2 does it confuse the dog? I mean, what does that do?

Speaker 4 I guess it depends on what level owners are doing it. So I am an advocate for dogs being part of your family.
My dogs are part of my family um

Speaker 4 i think that

Speaker 4 that still means that my dogs have boundaries my dogs um are treated with respect in the same way that with my children you know there are behaviors that i i don't want them to speak to me rudely i don't want them to shout at me There are things that we work on and we talk about and I put the same level of effort into the dogs that I live with to teach them things and how I want them to live in my family.

Speaker 4 I think that the lines become very blurred when we

Speaker 4 don't make it clear for our dogs. So, dogs tend to thrive when they understand

Speaker 4 what's going to happen, or what's expected, or what might happen now.

Speaker 4 It becomes really blurry when that keeps changing, or one owner does one thing, someone else does something else, someone else does something else, one person lets them on the couch, someone else doesn't let them on the couch.

Speaker 4 It becomes very confusing. So I think with all of these things,

Speaker 4 I'm not necessarily worried what their bed looks like. I don't really care whether, I mean, dressing up, yes, I do have an issue with dogs don't need to be dressed up.

Speaker 4 Most of them don't need to wear coats.

Speaker 4 But I think fundamentally, what I do care about and what I do put an emphasis on is that you are understanding that your dog is a dog. What does your dog need? What is going to help them thrive?

Speaker 4 What is going to make them happy? Rather than thinking about as a human, I have this dog and I got it for me and I got it for this reason. And these lines are blurred.

Speaker 4 We do need to think about if we've chosen to bring a dog into our home, it is our job to do that research, to figure it out and make sure that what we are giving and doing for them is actually what they need to be happy.

Speaker 2 What about when people

Speaker 2 maybe

Speaker 2 after a few years of owning a dog decide, you know, this isn't working. We need to, the dog needs to be trained better.
Can you teach an old dog new tricks?

Speaker 2 Or by then, you know, patterns are set and it's probably too late.

Speaker 4 No, I mean, my dog, Pip, I got when he was seven. He's now 12.

Speaker 4 And I would say he has changed so much within that time.

Speaker 4 There's been so many things that we've worked on and things that he came with.

Speaker 4 And with any dog, of course, some things might be ingrained. Of course, some things might be a way of doing things.
But we can still make changes. We can still teach different ways.

Speaker 4 We can create different routes. We can create different pathways.

Speaker 4 There is always that option that something can change when we work on it in the way that's going to suit the dog.

Speaker 2 Well, having been a dog owner pretty much all my life, I've heard some things today that I have not heard before or haven't thought much about, and I appreciate you sharing it.

Speaker 2 Louise Glazebrook has been my guest. The name of her book is The Book Your Dog Wishes You Would Read, How to Raise the Happiest Dog.
There's a link to her book at Amazon in the show notes.

Speaker 2 And Louise, thank you so much.

Speaker 4 Thanks so much. It's been a pleasure.

Speaker 2 I imagine you know someone, or maybe it's you, who cracks their knuckles. Children are the most active knuckle crackers.

Speaker 2 To them it sounds cool, it feels good, and many of them like the attention that it gets. Adolescents tend to crack more than their knuckles.

Speaker 2 They find cracking their neck or their back also feels good. But is there a danger to overcracking?

Speaker 2 Well, experts pretty much agree that cracking does not lead to arthritis or result in any serious damage, but it can become a habit.

Speaker 2 But it can become a habit, and overzealous cracking can injure the ligaments that support the joints.

Speaker 2 An avid knuckle cracker could end up with a looser grip because it can loosen the tendons that attach muscle to the bone.

Speaker 2 It can also cost you friends because a lot of people find the noise of cracking incredibly irritating to listen to. And that is something you should know.

Speaker 2 Now that you've listened to this episode, I would appreciate it if you'd leave your comments. You can leave a rating and review on whatever podcast app you listen to this on.

Speaker 2 We read them, appreciate them, and I thank you for doing that. I'm Mike Carruthers.
Thanks for listening today to Something You Should Know.

Speaker 2 This next one's for all you CarMax shoppers who just want to buy a car your way.

Speaker 2 Want to check some cars out in person? Uh-huh.

Speaker 3 Want to look some more from your house?

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Want to pretend you know about engines? Nah, I'll just chat with CarMax online instead. Wanna get pre-qualified from your couch.

Speaker 2 Want to get that car

Speaker 2 you wanna do it your way

Speaker 2 wanna drive car max

Speaker 2 the infinite monkey cage returns imminently i am robin ince and i've sat next to brian cox who has so much to tell you about what's on the new series primarily eels and what else that it was fascinating though the eels but we're not just doing eels are we doing a bit with uh brain computer interfaces timekeeping fusion monkey business cloud size of the north pole and eels did i mention the eels is this ever since you bought that timeshare underneath the Sagas OC?

Speaker 2 Listen on BBC.com or wherever you get your podcasts.