Small Block - Act One

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Speaker 4 One, two, three.

Speaker 7 Sabelry Small Blocks.

Speaker 2 Small Block, written by Ashley Lauren.

Speaker 2 Thank you for listening to Small Block. Please note that there is adult language throughout that is not suitable for young listeners.

Speaker 2 Furthermore, there are a few items that might be triggering for some readers.

Speaker 2 These include suicidal ideation discussion, transphobic language, homophobic language, minor instances of fatphobic language. All phobic language is used intentionally for thematic reasons.

Speaker 2 It is not used without thought or due to either naivete or bigotry. Thank you again for listening to Smallblock.
Now, on to the show.

Speaker 2 Interior P's bathroom evening. Holes violet starts.
A mostly bare chin with a solitary black whisker.

Speaker 2 P, 14, muscular but fluffy with padding, face to the counter length mirror squints at his his chin. He wears a purple beanie, gray hole t-shirt, jeans, flannel around waist.

Speaker 2 Razor swipes the chin bare, meticulously swipes again. Again.

Speaker 2 He picks up a small spiral notepad and a pen. He shakes his arm, extending and curling his fingers.
He writes intensely, pauses, takes a deep breath, continues.

Speaker 2 He gingerly lowers the pen to the counter. Hand trembles.
He reads the note silently, face resigned.

Speaker 2 Nearby, old Swiss Army knife, cordless phone, polo cologne.

Speaker 2 P flexes his arms, drops them dejectedly. His gray shirt creases along the underside of his pec.
He pulls it taut, but the crease reappears when he lets go.

Speaker 2 He tears the shirt off quickly, frantically dons a black t-shirt for the band obituary from the floor. His body was barely exposed.
Pulls the tea taut, lets go. The black hides his body better.

Speaker 2 P sprays polo on his inner wrist, rubs his wrists together, then dabs his neck and cheeks. Wipes the excess on his tea.

Speaker 2 He studies the crisp new shirt. His face softens.
His hand moves toward the knife, but instead grabs the phone. He exhales.
Pauses the CD boom box. Violet stops.
Dials.

Speaker 6 Ring. Never mind.

Speaker 2 He hangs up. Reaches for the knife.

Speaker 6 Ring.

Speaker 2 The phone glows orange. P checks caller ID.
Davidson. It's Kev.
14, half Japanese. P's bestie.
Off screen for the scene. P answers.

Speaker 2 You know in Coma where Axel's like, when you said that no one's listening, why'd your best friend drop a dime?

Speaker 9 Again, with that shit. I called you.
I'm definitely listening. I know.

Speaker 2 I know.

Speaker 9 Axel lies in that song, anyways.

Speaker 2 It's so easy to be social.

Speaker 9 It's so easy to be cool.

Speaker 9 My fucking ass.

Speaker 2 Please. P shakes his arm, extending and curling his fingers.
You thought much about the dance?

Speaker 9 Why? You think Bex has a date?

Speaker 2 Gotta chill about Bex, man. You're my best friend now.

Speaker 4 You, not her.

Speaker 2 And you're cool as shit.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 9 Well, no one at school thinks so. Especially not Bex.
If Carla was here, I'd take her to the dance and then everyone see.

Speaker 9 Why are you asking anyway?

Speaker 2 P hesitates.

Speaker 4 Dude, do you like someone?

Speaker 2 Kev's dad screams in the background.

Speaker 10 Hang up. I need to get on AOL.

Speaker 4 It's P!

Speaker 10 He can tie up someone else's line.

Speaker 2 Kev's tone changes. He sighs, then talks quietly.

Speaker 9 I wish I could live with my mom.

Speaker 10 Ten more seconds and it'll be no CDs for a month.

Speaker 9 Thank God for school.

Speaker 2 Don't let him pollute your soul, man.

Speaker 4 Lyrics?

Speaker 2 Write that shit.

Speaker 10 Nine?

Speaker 2 Click. The line goes dead.

Speaker 2 P pulls a beaten-up chrome Zippo from a drawer. He tears the note from the notebook.
The top spirals a trench of torn edges. Only half the pages remain.

Speaker 2 P returns everything to the drawer except the Zippo. He lights the page on fire, drops it in the sink.

Speaker 2 P leaves the bathroom as the flames ash up the page, eating backwards into the words, starting with, All you love I, Sarian.

Speaker 2 Interior P's bedroom continuous.

Speaker 2 Metal band and movie posters line the walls. Candlemas, Madin in uniform 1931, Pantera, batman, etc.

Speaker 2 Over the bed, framed full-size Back to the Future poster with various signatures in silver ink. Corner, electric guitar, practice amp, dumbbells.
The note VO continues as P walks to the bed.

Speaker 2 It in lie, I'll bed my maid. I stay, should I, why reason any C can't I? Sorry, I'm love I, everyone too.
Notes suicide, my. On the desk, model DeLorean, yellow sports discman, CDs.

Speaker 2 There's There's a photocopy flyer that reads, Pond Hill Homecoming 94 Middle School Dance. Pea picks it up and sits on the bed.
He looks to the desk.

Speaker 2 A framed recent photo of P with a half-Japanese boy the same age in front. Behind it, P pulls out a second framed photo, P, younger, and a girl at a water park.

Speaker 2 In the photo, P's eyes are red as if he's been crying, but he smiles joyously. The girl's mouth is open in a huge laugh, her arm protectively around P.

Speaker 2 P gazes at the picture and smiles. He looks to the dance poster in his other hand, face growing complicated when beep beep.

Speaker 2 The smoke detector wails.

Speaker 6 Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Speaker 2 P runs to the bathroom, replacing the photo haphazardly. The pictures topple face down, the second on top of the first.

Speaker 2 Interior P's kitchen, short time later. P enters.
His dad, 45, removes a large crepe from the stove and lays it alongside another on the center island.

Speaker 2 Nearby, seared beef tenderloin, mushroom duck sells, pate de foie gras, puff pastry, prosciutto de parma. Tootsie on the 32-inch CRT-TV.
Dad scrunches his nose.

Speaker 3 You fall into a Vada cologne?

Speaker 2 P flushes. He sniffs the air.
Dad lays prosciutto in a tight, even pattern across the crepes.

Speaker 3 Your mom reminded me of today's significance. Pick a place, anywhere you want, except sushi.

Speaker 2 Great.

Speaker 2 That's not dinner? Dad laughs as he layers duck cells onto the ham.

Speaker 3 I think not.

Speaker 3 One of the OR nurses, Christine, is getting married. She loved the cake I did for our surgical tech.
Been studying for the test?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Dad stops spreading pate on the duck cells, looks up, swear.

Speaker 2 Remember we went to see this? Best picture 1983 nominee, Jessica Langwund, best supporting. Dad glances at the screen.

Speaker 3 Dressing up as a woman used to mean you were a Nancy, but

Speaker 8 he gets the girl, so good on him, I guess.

Speaker 2 Some like it hot, too.

Speaker 3 Jack Lemon in makeup? Ghastly.

Speaker 2 Dad moves the tenderloin on top of the pate, then delicately encases the beef in the layered crepe. He pulls over a baking sheet with a layer of raw puff pastry.
Seems like a lot of work for steak.

Speaker 2 Dad looks at P like he's a fucking idiot.

Speaker 3 A Wellington is a body, an ecosystem. Tenderloin is tender, but there's no fat, no flavor.
You have to put flavor around it for it to come alive. First, what do we have under our skin and muscles?

Speaker 3 Organs. Thus?

Speaker 2 He looks at Pea expectantly. P stares back blankly.
Dad sighs.

Speaker 3 Thus, pate de foie gras, rich, creamy, earthy. Then duck cells, mushrooms, more earthiness.
Then the parma ham, salty, fatty, then the crepe. You need to contain the juices, the essence of the beef.

Speaker 3 Trap it so the outside, the puff, isn't tainted.

Speaker 4 The result?

Speaker 2 Dad points proudly to the lower oven. The light is on.
A golden Wellington with exquisite lattice baking.

Speaker 3 is a showstopper. Look at that glorious little football.
And the tenderloin, the heart, is perfectly isolated and protected. Pass me another.

Speaker 2 P gets a Dr. Pepper and a raw tenderloin wrapped tightly in plastic wrap from the fridge.
Holy crap, there's like 15 more tenderloins in here.

Speaker 3 It's a wedding, not happy hour.

Speaker 3 You had the St. John's interview, right?

Speaker 11 Went well?

Speaker 9 Definitely.

Speaker 3 You better be taking this seriously. St.
John's is uh...

Speaker 3 No, that's a school.

Speaker 2 Brenda Nash told me there's a dance this Saturday. Mom, 48, healthy but thin, enters with a wrapped present.
Happy birthday in Japanese tonight? Not this year. Mom looks at Dad, pleased but curious.

Speaker 3 You don't get full at sushi. A dance, huh?

Speaker 2 Not sure if we're going. Dad looks up excitedly.

Speaker 11 We?

Speaker 2 Me, Kev, and Dizzy. Dad and mom exchange looks.

Speaker 3 Football will be good for you.

Speaker 2 Pea nods at the screen. There's other ways to get girls.

Speaker 3 None of them seem to be working. Change this shit.

Speaker 2 P flips through channels methodically.

Speaker 12 New shirt?

Speaker 2 Gift from Kev. Dad, do you like my shirt?

Speaker 3 This.

Speaker 3 This, the best. Jack Lemon in this? Now that's a performance.

Speaker 6 You seen it?

Speaker 2 P stops the TV on the apartment. Best picture 1961.
You took me to Castalinda. Mom hands P her gift.
P tears the carefully wrapped paper. He unfurls the present, a black entombed band t-shirt.

Speaker 2 Entombed, sweet? P starts pulling it over his shirt. Mom shoots a good-natured, you kidding me, look? P glances at Dad, focused on cooking.

Speaker 2 He rips off his old shirt and pulls the new one on hastily, purple beanie in place. Dad glances up.

Speaker 3 I thought you were going to get diet, Dr. Pepper.

Speaker 2 P rapidly tugs down his shirt to hide his body as Dad unwraps the tenderloin, places the beef in the pan. It sizzles.
He removes the other Wellington from the oven.

Speaker 6 Perfect.

Speaker 11 Gorgeous.

Speaker 2 That a tester? Dad smiles mischievously, slices it proudly, pushes the slice to C. The beef is medium, a healthy, uniform pink.
His face contorts in rage.

Speaker 3 Piece of shit, oven. Calibrations drifted again.
I should have gone with Viking.

Speaker 4 I fucking knew.

Speaker 3 This shit looks nice, but inside, it's rubbish.

Speaker 2 He opens the trash and shoves the whole Wellington in. You don't want to taste it?

Speaker 3 Beef's overcooked, ruined. Never be as good as it could have been.

Speaker 2 Let's go to dinner.

Speaker 3 I can't leave. I'm behind.

Speaker 2 On TV, the apartment's Dr. Dreyfus pleads with Jack Lemons Baxter to grow up and be a mensch.

Speaker 3 Words to live by. Okay, call pizza.
I feel like pizza. Any toppings you want.

Speaker 2 Interior Pond Hill. Welch's classroom next day.

Speaker 2 Hand-painted homecoming 94 signs adorn the walls. The room's divided into a quiz show arena.
Two arcs of desks flank Mr. Welch's 34 desk, replete with lectern.
True 90s style. Battle of the sexes.

Speaker 2 Boys left, girls right. Bex, 14, punky, overweight, and confident as fuck, holds the baton.
She's older now, but is clearly the girl from P's desk photo.

Speaker 2 A large homecoming dance poster is offset behind her. Joan of Arc.

Speaker 10 Correct, Bex. Tie game.

Speaker 2 Girls cheer, boys grumble.

Speaker 6 Okay, okay.

Speaker 10 One point bonus for getting the final question correct. Charged with heresy for spiritual visions she claimed fueled her quest, what secular activity earned Joan of Arc charges of blasphemy?

Speaker 2 Dressing like a soldier.

Speaker 4 More specific.

Speaker 2 P, tiny smile, purple beanie just so, eyes Bex intently. Dressing like a male soldier.

Speaker 10 The girls take the lead.

Speaker 13 Woo!

Speaker 2 The girls hoot, the boys turn to P, as does Bex.

Speaker 6 P, P, P, P, P, P.

Speaker 2 P waves them down. He smiles at Kev from the desk photo.
As captain, I elect Kev to answer. P passes Kev the baton.
Boys grumble, but a few show support. Kev smiles.
His time to shine.

Speaker 10 The category is movies.

Speaker 4 Girls groan.

Speaker 2 Boys cheer.

Speaker 2 Kev slumps. Peace slaps him on the back.
I got you. P meets eyes with backs.
She smiles at him. Peace shakes his arm, extending and curling his fingers.

Speaker 10 What Barbara Streisand movie?

Speaker 2 Mr. Welch's words drift away as a flash of silver catches P's eye out of the window.
A DeLorean drives down the street. Peace eyes widen.
Kev's hand nudges him back to the classroom. They whisper.

Speaker 3 Holy shit, I think it's Lens.

Speaker 9 Yentel.

Speaker 7 Sorry.

Speaker 4 Holy shit.

Speaker 9 I think it's Yentil.

Speaker 2 P turns back to the window. The beautifully utilitarian steel of the DeLorean contrasts with the greenery around it.

Speaker 4 Dude.

Speaker 2 Uh, Streisand? Probably a star is born.

Speaker 10 Five seconds.

Speaker 9 I swear it's Yentel.

Speaker 4 Four?

Speaker 2 You're terrible at movie stuff. I'd be shocked if it was Yentil.
What was the exact question? Kev looks at P, stunned.

Speaker 9 Three? What was the exact question again?

Speaker 10 Sorry, Kev. Gotta answer now.

Speaker 2 One? Kev glances frantically at P. P.
gives him a thumbs up.

Speaker 9 A star is born.

Speaker 2 Silence as everyone waits. P looks out the window.
The DeLorean's gone. He turns back to class.

Speaker 10 The film that garnered Barbara Streisand the first ever directing Golden Globe for a female director in 1983 is.

Speaker 2 Peace head tilts back in despair. Yentel.

Speaker 10 That's right, P.

Speaker 4 Yentel. Girls win.

Speaker 10 No homework next week for you.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 2 The girls erupt in joy. Kev gazes at Bex.
She winks playfully at him. Kev drops his head.
He glares at P, as does Dizzy. 13, half Vietnamese, half dorky, half cool bull cut.

Speaker 2 The other boys sigh in frustration or mutter disapproval.

Speaker 8 Way to go, Kev.

Speaker 2 P looks guiltily at the visibly angry Kev. Mr.
Welch, one more question.

Speaker 10 Sorry, P, game's over.

Speaker 8 They got one?

Speaker 2 Bex raises her eyebrow at P. Mr.
Welch ignores him.

Speaker 10 Enjoy the three-day weekend. Hope to see you all at the game and, of course, at the dance.
Hey, let's crush St. John's this year.
We're due.

Speaker 2 Come on, Mr. Welch.
Be a mensch.

Speaker 10 You know, I also heard rumors of a surprise at halftime, just saying.

Speaker 2 Mr. Welch winks.
Is it because Bex is a girl?

Speaker 2 The class goes silent. Bex glares at P.
His face makes plain he knows that it was the wrong thing to say. The bell rings.
No one moves.

Speaker 10 Your team captain, P.

Speaker 10 You could have taken the question, but you gave it to Kev. It's a question question you should have and would have gotten, just like I gave Bex a question she should have gotten.
And she did.

Speaker 10 That was me being a mensch.

Speaker 10 Now it's your turn.

Speaker 10 Bex, girls, don't let Peace spoil your victory.

Speaker 6 Who?

Speaker 2 The class howls and laughter. Interior Pond Hill Hallway, couple minutes later.
P walks toward Kev, who shoves books into his locker.

Speaker 2 Homecoming dance posters on the walls, along with homecoming decorations and team signs. A classmate, Zach, walks by, as does James.

Speaker 10 Kev, leave movies to P, bro.

Speaker 8 Yeah, follow P's lead next time.

Speaker 2 P arrives at Kev's locker. Dude, I'm so sorry.

Speaker 9 Thank God Carla doesn't go here.

Speaker 4 I dive she'd seen that.

Speaker 2 Martha and Janet pass as well. To P.
Go crawl back in your hole, you chauvinist pig.

Speaker 4 Mind your own holes, Feminazi.

Speaker 2 Scowling, Dizzy joins Kev and P as Martha and Janet leave. You sound like a St.
John's creep. Good luck finding a date to the dance, P.

Speaker 2 These the girls hate me and not you?

Speaker 9 Be at the game tomorrow, big dog.

Speaker 2 Britt, 14, handsome, quarterback energy, at his locker with Tiffany, 14, thickly athletic, solid, and a couple others. Britt throws P a football.

Speaker 2 It's wide, but P gracefully leaps and catches it decisively in one hand. Fuck St.
John's. P spirals the ball back to Britt, who smiles.

Speaker 9 My man.

Speaker 2 Kev shows a book into his locker with a clang. P's eyes signal to Britt.
He nods towards Kev.

Speaker 9 It'll cut your way next time, Ken.

Speaker 2 Britt nods at Pea, then turns back. Kev mutters to Pea.

Speaker 9 Sure, Ken will kill it next time.

Speaker 2 Girls laugh. Pea looks.
Bex with friends. He pulls his purple beanie down, hides behind the locker door.
As she passes. Yeah, but I gotta work tomorrow.
Safe. Pea pulls his head out.

Speaker 2 Bex, jubilant, walks by a parade of homecoming dance signs on the wall.

Speaker 10 The fuck, fag. You know every useless fact about every stupid movie exactly like whatever it was.

Speaker 2 There was a DeLorean outside. Dizzy's face instantly shifts.
Kev is speechless.

Speaker 10 How fast was it going? Was it cool?

Speaker 4 Yes, super cool. You made me lose to Bex of all people over DeLorean?

Speaker 2 Of all people, huh? P's eyes close. He turns.
Bex stands. A homecoming dance sign to her right.

Speaker 2 Worry deep down that me and P are still best friends behind your back? P reddens. He glances at the dance sign.
Small crowd gathers. No need to keep us separated, Kev.
Yard's free.

Speaker 16 Come out and play.

Speaker 2 Bex.

Speaker 15 Is it because I'm a girl, Pea? Ooh.

Speaker 2 Crowd ooze. Pea and Bex meet eyes.
He breaks first. Bex walks away victorious.

Speaker 10 Yeah, you're lucky or a girl.

Speaker 2 Bex flips her middle finger without turning. I am lucky I'm a girl, Ditzy.
Pea watches Bex pass another homecoming dance sign, every step taking farther and farther away from it.

Speaker 2 He shakes his arm, extending and curling his fingers.

Speaker 2 Kev glances at Dizzy, slams his locker shut. The sound blends into a loud, distorted power chord from P's guitar in Dizzy's garage after school.

Speaker 2 P guitar, Kev bass, and Dizzy drums practice for their metal band, Shadow King. Cool blend of thrash and groove.

Speaker 4 One, two, three, four, and the sea of faces.

Speaker 4 master at the back.

Speaker 4 Void of emptiness surrounds me.

Speaker 2 Can I come aflat? He harmonizes for the chorus.

Speaker 2 He screams.

Speaker 2 I am unbroken. Dizzy's snare crack, crack, cracks as the band kicks back in.
The new parts are more technical, heavier, and less accessible.

Speaker 6 Hey, hey,

Speaker 9 I'm not feeling it.

Speaker 2 The band stops.

Speaker 9 Check this.

Speaker 2 Kev plays a deeply simple bass groove. Pete's not impressed, but tries to find a way in.
He plays a complex thrashy riff.

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Speaker 9 Too much!

Speaker 2 Kev restarts. P plays a less complex death metal riff.

Speaker 4 3-4!

Speaker 4 No!

Speaker 6 No!

Speaker 4 Mirror me!

Speaker 2 3-4! P sighs, but mirrors Kev's groove close enough.

Speaker 9 Yeah, that's what people want. You hear that band Korn yet?

Speaker 13 They rock.

Speaker 2 What about Pantera, Carcass, Machine Head, Dream Theater even?

Speaker 9 You can't play Dream Theater. Divine Intervention came out last month.
Know how many times I've heard it on the radio?

Speaker 4 I haven't. And that's Slayer.

Speaker 9 They buried fucking Slayer. Know how many times I've heard Blind by Korn yesterday? Fuck radio.

Speaker 2 Shadow King needs to make epic shit that changes people's lives. Dizzy, you don't want to sell out?

Speaker 10 But I'd like to sell. I'm with Kev.

Speaker 2 P looks guiltily at Kev, who smirks. Pea concedes.
He plays the simple riff.

Speaker 2 Kev joins on bass. Dizzy plays a very simple beat.

Speaker 2 Peace eyes focus on his cable jack. The metal sleeve distorts P's reflection.
The tubular jack resembles the bontette Dizzy's mom, Mrs. D, makes in Dizzy's kitchen a short time later.
Mrs.

Speaker 2 D puts the bontette in a Tupperware with a few others. The wrapped, tied green banana leaves are uniform.
She spreads a banana leaf on the counter, adds rice. Large containers of food nearby.

Speaker 2 Homemade mac and cheese, Spanish rice, grilled chicken drumsticks, salad. P and Kev walk to the CD player.
Costumes? Like makeup and stuff?

Speaker 9 We need an image.

Speaker 2 Cool if we play some tunes, Mrs. D?

Speaker 15 Okay, but no grr.

Speaker 2 Mrs. D imitates death metal growls.

Speaker 4 P laughs.

Speaker 2 Kev hands him a corn CD while I fucking the bontette.

Speaker 9 Research. Are those the things we had for Lunar New Year, Mrs.
D?

Speaker 2 Mrs. D nods.

Speaker 11 Hmm?

Speaker 6 Bantette?

Speaker 2 Image isn't music, man.

Speaker 4 I don't want to be Kiss.

Speaker 2 Which track?

Speaker 9 Seven. Kiss's problem is they took the makeup off.
If they hadn't, no one would have known what they really looked like. Problem solved.

Speaker 2 Kiss's problem is that they suck.

Speaker 4 Bagpipes play.

Speaker 2 Dizzy enters. Mrs.
D adds mung beans.

Speaker 4 What's this gay shit? Philip!

Speaker 9 My bad.

Speaker 10 Fellas, what's this gay crap?

Speaker 6 Thank you.

Speaker 2 P hands Dizzy the C D case. Kev stares as Mrs.
D lays pork belly onto the beans. Dizzy's eyes almost leave his head looking at the CD case.

Speaker 4 Whoa, there's a track called Faggot?

Speaker 10 Play that next.

Speaker 9 Every band does t-shirts and jeans now.

Speaker 4 No one has a look.

Speaker 6 I like this. Bagpipes?

Speaker 2 Better than peace music.

Speaker 10 Mayhem and some of the black metal bands wear corpse paint.

Speaker 9 See? Not makeup, corpse paint. It conjures something.

Speaker 2 Image is a huge part of music. It says stuff.
I want the music to say stuff. Dizzy eyes a Tupperware of spring rolls.
Only green vegetables are visible through the translucent wrapper.

Speaker 10 No shrimp.

Speaker 15 In the middle, protects better.

Speaker 2 Easier for Uncle Chris to bite.

Speaker 10 Better when they're on top of the other stuff.

Speaker 2 Taste them first. Mrs.
D raps and ties the bontette.

Speaker 4 A band shouldn't look like chess club.

Speaker 2 And a band's music shouldn't sound like checkers.

Speaker 2 Mrs. D assembles a new bontette.
Dizzy reaches toward the mound of them in the Tupperware. Mrs.
D slaps his hand away. Hey, these are for Uncle Chris.
All the other food is for you.

Speaker 12 Why does he need Bontette in October?

Speaker 2 He doesn't have much time.

Speaker 3 Maybe when I'm dying, I'll fucking get one then.

Speaker 2 Mrs. D stops.
Silence. Dizzy's demeanor shifts.
P and Kev know the drill. P quietly grabs three sodas from the fridge.
Kev discreetly retrieves his CD. They exit to Dizzy's room moments later.

Speaker 2 Pea shuts the door lightly. Multiple DeLorean and metal band posters on the walls by the bunk bed.
Japanese Sega Genesis, big 90s computer tower, 32-inch CRT TV.

Speaker 2 Clothes strewn, super soakers waiting for summer. Pea gives Kev a Coke Classic, opens a Dr.
Pepper. The sprite remains for Dizzy.
Kev grabs it instead. She's gonna whoop his ass.

Speaker 2 Kev takes the Pontil yearbook off the desk.

Speaker 9 Meh, moms are supposed to love you. Imagine if his dad was here.

Speaker 2 Kev flips idly through the yearbook. He stops abruptly, eyes burning at the page.

Speaker 9 I bet she thinks I'm so stupid.

Speaker 2 Mrs. D?

Speaker 2 Kev holds up the yearbook, jabs it toward P, a large candid photo of Bex smiling, a butterfly resting on her open palm.

Speaker 4 Bex, man?

Speaker 9 Bex.

Speaker 9 I don't want your old best friend to think your new best friend is a dumbass loser.

Speaker 2 Do you really care what she thinks?

Speaker 4 Do you?

Speaker 2 Pea hesitates. He looks down.
Kev smiles ruefully at the silent confirmation, tosses the yearbook on the bed. I bet she's jealous.
Kev smiles. He pops open the sprite, sips quietly.

Speaker 2 Peace stares at the yearbook as if he can still see her.

Speaker 2 Interior Dizzy's room, evening, later. Dizzy enters with a Dr.
Pepper, Coke, and Sprite.

Speaker 10 Put your dicks away, Fags.

Speaker 10 Obscure your penises, fags.

Speaker 2 He nods at his mom's tacit approval, shuts the door. Kev grabs the sprite from Dizzy's hand and opens it.

Speaker 10 I hate Coke. We get it for you.

Speaker 2 Kev takes a long swig. Dizzy snatches the remote, jabs it.
The movie unpauses.

Speaker 2 Ace Ventura on the TV.

Speaker 2 Pacing his bathroom, Ace realizes that the female detective Einhorn is actually the Miami Dolphins kicker he's been trying to locate.

Speaker 2 In In revelatory joy, he exclaims that Einhorn's a man, which he repeats immediately in revulsion as the horror of their kiss dawns on him.

Speaker 2 I love this part. Disgusted, Ace plungers his face, vomits excessively, and acts out other phobic hijinks while the crying game plays.
P. Kevin Dizzy laughs so hard they cry.

Speaker 2 Interior Dizzy's room later. A knock on the door.
Mrs. D enters.

Speaker 2 On TV, Einhorn, visibly shell-shocked, stands motionless as Ace rips off her skirt.

Speaker 4 Looks normal.

Speaker 2 Then Ace solves the mystery. He spins Einhorn around, her tucked penis outlined in panties.
He exclaims, That's why Roger Podactor's dead. He found Captain Winky.
The crying game plays.

Speaker 2 The entire police force dry heaves. The boys laugh hysterically.

Speaker 2 Did she go to the bathroom in her underwear?

Speaker 2 The boys laugh even harder. No, Mrs.
D. She used to be a man.

Speaker 10 Still is a man.

Speaker 4 So that's her penis.

Speaker 2 What's it doing in her butt?

Speaker 2 Kev, purple-faced, falls over laughing. Dizzy turns red.
Mrs. D waves her hand at Dizzy.
He pauses the movie, staring longingly at the sprite as Kev drinks.

Speaker 6 Going to Uncle's back tomorrow?

Speaker 2 The boys try to hide their excitement. When do you boys want to go to the dance Saturday? Philip's been talking about it for weeks.
P and Kev eye Dizzy, who flushes.

Speaker 4 Don't y'all kind of want to go?

Speaker 9 Yeah, us standing around while they play poser crap, like the sign and all that she wants? Sounds great.

Speaker 4 We'll hang.

Speaker 10 Laugh at the posers.

Speaker 2 It could be fun, dude.

Speaker 6 Or we can hang here.

Speaker 8 More fun.

Speaker 2 Okay, you all decide. Mrs.
D closes the door, pokes her head back inside. Women, men, penises are always in the front.
P bites his lip. Kev slaps a hand over his mouth.
His face turns more purple.

Speaker 2 His body heaves as he stifles a laugh. The boys stare at each other.
The front door finally closes. They erupt in laughter.

Speaker 2 Chief pounds the bed. The impact blends into the sound of Kev's feet running toward the bathroom in Dizzy's house night short time later.
Kev beelines towards the bathroom.

Speaker 2 Right as Kev gets to the door, Dizzy sprints past, locks it. Kev bangs on the door.

Speaker 6 Dude, I only have one pair of underwear.

Speaker 2 He brought one pair of underwear for a three-night sleepover?

Speaker 11 Yellow waterfalls, yellow waterfalls. Yellow waterfalls.
Rushing streams of pee.

Speaker 11 Urine, urine, urine.

Speaker 2 Use his parents' bathroom. Kev looks at the closed door of the far bathroom.
He bangs on the door in front of him again.

Speaker 11 Amazing how much piss I have left. It might never end.

Speaker 2 I'll say it was my idea.

Speaker 9 You got a death wish, dude.

Speaker 2 Kev runs into Dizzy's parents' bathroom. Interior Dizzy's kitchen moments later.
The fridge door opens. Pea grabs a Dr.
Pepper. He leans against the fridge, stares at the back wall.

Speaker 2 It's only a door and glass panes. Effectively, a big window.
The patio is unlit, but the small pool faintly glows.

Speaker 2 The kitchen light transforms the glass into a semi-transparent mirror, both inside and outside visible. Peace stares at his lackluster reflection.
He mutters to himself.

Speaker 2 As if Bex would go to dance with you anyway. He raises his sleeve, flexes, no definition.

Speaker 6 Other arm.

Speaker 10 You look like Arnold's gay pool boy.

Speaker 2 Pete pulls his sleeve down, shirt taut. Dizzy enters, smiling.

Speaker 12 Where's Kev?

Speaker 2 The other bathroom. Dizzy's lips curl.

Speaker 10 Both you fuckers know to stay out. My bathroom's for guests, public.
The other is private, off limits.

Speaker 2 Ooh, are there dark secrets in there? He was gonna piss his pants.

Speaker 10 EP Dance?

Speaker 9 Full-on vogued.

Speaker 2 Dizzy laughs, looks out the large back window.

Speaker 10 Give me any Coke, but Coke.

Speaker 10 Imagine how freaky it would be if some dude appeared outside right now.

Speaker 2 P. Toss is a sprite.
He examines his reflection in the glass. Yeah, like 44, tough.
Mans man. Used to play football.
A faint image appears outside the glass, intensifying.

Speaker 2 Long hair, but it's thinning. Not sure if he'll ever go fully bald, but you can see the skin through the hair.
Pathetic. Clean shaven, but his face has that gray beard shit.
It's ugly. God, he's ugly.

Speaker 2 As if in slow motion, the man shakes his arm, extending and curling his fingers. It's rough, staccato, compared to Pea.

Speaker 2 The image briefly overlays P's reflection as it slowly shifts back to the inside part of the glass, then disappears. P adjusts his purple beanie, then eyes his Dr.
Pepper. Your mom ever buy diet?

Speaker 2 Dizzy crunches his empty can against the counter. He opens an outstretched hand to Pea.

Speaker 10 I meant like some deranged homo pervert who break in and butt-fuck you and Kev.

Speaker 2 Pea hands Dizzy Dizzy a fresh sprite. Well, I'd make sure you got butt-fucked first and last.
Petus!

Speaker 2 P and Dizzy scream.

Speaker 2 Dizzy's unopened sprite falls, exploding against the floor. Kev saunters in, loose and relaxed.
A fountain of sprites spraying next to him. Kev licks a little off his hand.

Speaker 9 So who's getting butt-fucked?

Speaker 2 Exterior driveway short time later. The basketball bounces against the concrete.
The boys play tips on the adjustable full-size hoop. P dribbles.
Only P wears a shirt.

Speaker 2 Kev and Dizzy's tees lie in a pile. Peace flannel is tied around his waist.
Purple beanie, a bit sweaty.

Speaker 9 I'd still fuck her. Gross, dude.
Einhort doesn't have some bitch tied up in a well.

Speaker 11 She's hot.

Speaker 10 Her cock wouldn't bother you?

Speaker 9 I said I'd fuck her, not marry her.

Speaker 11 Can you imagine dating a perv like that?

Speaker 9 I want a freak in bed, not a freak when we're at the store.

Speaker 2 I'd rather kill myself.

Speaker 9 Who cares if no one knows?

Speaker 10 You're gonna be gay. You should be a fucking man about it.

Speaker 2 I'd kill myself, and then I'd have the most epic funeral mixed-d.

Speaker 9 From whom with bell tools? Played out.

Speaker 12 Marsh Funembra?

Speaker 2 Sick track, but not as sick as my handle. P drives left, sidesteps Kev, then twists past Dizzy.
The ball kisses the backboard, bounces off the rim, it misses. Kev leaps forward.

Speaker 2 Airborne, he tips the falling ball up toward the basket. Bounce, bounce, bounce.
It drops in.

Speaker 6 Back to 11, bro.

Speaker 9 No one rock at a funeral? Cemetery gates.

Speaker 2 Yes, Pantera's my shit. Pantera's I'm Broken shatters the night.
The boys turn their collective head in unison. A DeLorean, sleek and silvered, turns onto the street.
The windows are down.

Speaker 2 The engine rumbles. A woman, 42, drives.
The muscular guitar's defiant, bluesy metal groove provides the perfect foundation as the singer screams the song's chorus. I'm broken, inherit my life.

Speaker 4 God damn! Wait!

Speaker 2 P sprints towards the car. He's at the end of the driveway.
The car isn't going to stop. Dude, you're going to get killed.
P launches forward in front of the car, purple beanie flying.

Speaker 2 Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, it's not stopping. It's not stopped.

Speaker 4 Scree!

Speaker 2 The brakes squeal. The car stops.
Just enough to be safe, but definitely enough to be dangerous.

Speaker 9 Good thing we settled the funeral next tape.

Speaker 2 The purple beanie's on the street. P tugs his shirt taut, his ponytail briefly visible.
P and the woman at a standstill. She's sitting back, bathed largely in shadow.

Speaker 2 Slivers of light illuminate her half-smile. I'm Pea.
That's Dizzy and Kev. I've uh we've never been this close to a DeLorean.
Dizzy ambles slowly, entranced.

Speaker 9 Can I touch it, DeLorean lady?

Speaker 12 Miss World.

Speaker 4 Go ahead.

Speaker 2 Miss World leans forward. Dark hair a similar color to P's.
Flannel, midriff tank, yellow scarf around her neck. Dizzy runs his hands over the car as if it's magic.
Flux capacitor hiding in there?

Speaker 2 Miss World chuckles.

Speaker 12 Sure is, but who knows if it works.

Speaker 2 Take us for a ride and find out?

Speaker 12 Nice try. But it's a bit weird for an adult to take three teens she just met out for a ride.
Plus, it's a school night.

Speaker 6 Three-day weekend.

Speaker 12 You do synchronized swim, too?

Speaker 2 We're in a band.

Speaker 12 Got a tape?

Speaker 2 It might be a little heavy for a girl. The DeLorean rumbles to life.
Miss World puts it in gear. P steps forward, touching his knees to the bumper.

Speaker 2 Sorry, I say stupid things sometimes. Don't ask him about Barbara Streisand movies.

Speaker 4 Miss World laughs.

Speaker 2 We don't have a tape. Our stuff's a thrash, groove, death metal hybrid, but both Sweden and Florida death metal, if that means anything.

Speaker 9 And some corn.

Speaker 12 So, Megadeth, Slayer, maybe Arise-era Sepaltura? I'm assuming pre-black Metallica, mixed with Pantera and Machine Head. And for Death Metal, what? Early Entombed and obituary?

Speaker 12 Though maybe Morbid Angel.

Speaker 12 Oh, and some corn.

Speaker 2 P, Kev, and Dizzy stare at her, mouths agape.

Speaker 12 Girls aren't always what you'd think.

Speaker 2 The DeLorean reverses. P's chances are fading.
He takes a deep breath. He sings.
Kev cringes at the totally embarrassing earnestness. Memory of summer has long passed.

Speaker 2 Crawling through the mud and silts, the rain never washes me clean. Encrusted in clay, the seed seed can still flower, but the sun has forgotten my name.
The DeLorean stops. A dog howls.

Speaker 12 What's that?

Speaker 2 Lyrics I've been writing? Miss World assesses P. He puts the purple beanie on his head.

Speaker 6 Not bad.

Speaker 12 Might have earned a ride.

Speaker 2 We'll see.

Speaker 12 Your parents around? No.

Speaker 2 Kev smacks Dizzy's arm.

Speaker 10 That was stupid.

Speaker 12 Will they be here Saturday night?

Speaker 10 We'll be at the dance.

Speaker 9 No, we won't.

Speaker 2 Miss World looks at P. P surveys his friends.
We might be. Kev glares at P.
Dizzy looks at Kev.

Speaker 9 My girlfriend Carla's not in town.

Speaker 12 You could go, Zugru.

Speaker 6 Thank you.

Speaker 9 Going without a date sucks.

Speaker 12 Anyone you two like?

Speaker 2 Dizzy shakes his head. He turns, walks around the car in awe.
Kev goes to the basketball hoop. Miss World eyes P.

Speaker 12 DeLorean turns into a pumpkin soon.

Speaker 2 Pea glances guiltily at Kev. He shakes his arm, extending and curling his fingers.
Miss World smiles playfully, looks P square in the eye.

Speaker 12 My biggest regret is the amount of regrets I have.

Speaker 12 Careful, Dizzy. Couldn't see you.

Speaker 2 P nods, taking in her words as Dizzy steps back from the car. Miss World smiles coyly at P.

Speaker 15 You come back?

Speaker 2 Pea and Dizzy watch her shrinking taillights fade into the night. End Act 1.