Gigli: A Cinematic Dumpster Fire with Peyton Dix and Hunter Harris | 47

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How does a Hollywood train wreck unfold?

It isn't hard to imagine, so I'm going to give it a shot with my own little semi-fictional script.

Picture this.

Director Martin Brest gets a frantic phone call.

It's Joe.

Joe who?

Joe Roth from Revolution Studios.

Don't pretend like you don't know me.

There's a problem.

The test audiences audiences hate your cut of Geely.

What are you talking about?

Says Martin.

The picture is exactly what I was going for.

Gritty, meaningful.

Joe cuts him off.

It's depressing, and depressing doesn't get butts in seats.

We've spent millions on this thing.

We gave you two hot stars, your favorite crew, everything you asked for, and it sucks.

Fix it, reshuffle it, reshoot it, anything.

Make it...

nice.

Marty leans back in his chair, rubbing his temples.

How are you supposed to make a crime thriller where the protagonist dies at the end nice?

This isn't some rom-com where you can just slap a happy ending on it.

Joe's voice strains.

He insists, throw in more jokes, add a bit of romance between Ben and Jennifer.

Just make sure people leave the theater smiling.

Marty sighs, staring at a storyboard pinned to the wall.

No, he mutters to himself, this is going to be a huge pile of crap and everyone will blame me.

They'll blame you either way, says Joe.

But if you don't do it, we will.

Larry Giggly, right?

Pronounced as Gili.

Primes are really.

Shealy, the film that brought Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck together.

We had like a big wedding plan three days before.

We just crumbled under the pressure.

They can't all be wedded.

I know.

You know, nobody bets a thousand.

Box office was less than we'd hoped.

There's worse movies than Geely out there.

Geely will appeal to celebrity gawkers and the certifiably insane.

We are

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From Wondery and at Will Media, this is The Big Flop, where we chronicle the greatest flubs, fails, and blunders of all time.

I'm your host, Misha Brown, social media superstar and big flop hitman at Don't Cross a Gay Man.

And today, we're talking about the worst movie ever, G Lee.

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on our show today, we have the hosts of the Wondery podcast.

Let me say this: it's Peyton Dix and Hunter Harris.

Welcome to the show.

A roar of applause.

That's what people are saying.

Thank you for having us.

I'm so excited.

So, here's a question: What's your relationship to Benefer?

Are we rooting for them?

Am I?

We're one nation under Benefer.

Are you kidding?

No, Hunter is part of their relationship.

Like, I don't know if you know this.

I wake up and pray for them.

I go to bed and pray for them.

Like, I don't know what's going on with them right now, but I hope they're not about to break up.

Yeah, but I think that's what it is.

One Dunkin' Donuts run away from it, I feel.

I know.

Have you ever like poured your heart and soul into something that turned out terribly?

My lived experience being gay, like hello,

every day, every single day of my life.

Just check my journals, it's all there.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah, maybe like undergrad, poured a lot into that, didn't get anything out of it.

Well, our story today concerns one of the worst movies ever made, and it all starts in New York City.

In 1972, director Martin Brest turns his focus to a man whose name we all might recognize, Danny DeVito.

At the time, Danny DeVito is a struggling photographer who hatches a plot to take the greatest photograph of all time.

Well, he plays a character who does in Martin Brest's student film called Hot Dogs for Gauguin, written and directed by the promising younger filmmaker.

After school, Marty, as his friends call him, bursts onto the Hollywood scene with enormous potential.

His big break comes in 1979.

It's called Going in Style.

Starring popular aging actors of the time, it's a critical and commercial success, not easy to do, and it's even remade in 2017 with Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine, and Alan Arkin.

Did you see it?

No, I missed that one.

I missed it.

Blind spot.

Cultural blind spot.

Honestly, same.

Well, between 1984 and 1992, he directs three films, and they're all major hits.

Beverly Hills Cop, starring Eddie Murphy.

There's a new one out.

Heard.

It's one of the biggest action comedies of all time.

There's Midnight Run, starring Bobby De Niro and Charles Grodin.

It's It's critically acclaimed.

It's a money maker and somehow also a cult classic.

And then Scent of a Woman, which nets four Oscar nominations for best director, best picture, best adapted screenplay, and wins Al Pacino a best actor award.

So all three of these films, they're tonally interesting and breaking genre molds effortlessly.

Honestly, range.

No, there is a kind of like tonal incoherence there that I find actually kind of amusing.

I think the flaws that come with that is he's very meticulous and he's very choosy.

He's a self-described displaced New Yorker who misses his home and his movies have that kind of fish out of water charm to them.

He also gets really anxious when he's making these movies.

Like in college, he once dropped down to 118 pounds while shooting a student film.

So like when he's at work, he's all in.

No, it's never that serious.

He's super thick, super pretty.

Wait, I was supposed to be like, wait, Brag, okay?

Come along.

He's like, hashtag birth weight.

On Ozempic before.

Well, after Scent of a Woman, Marty waits six years to make his next feature, which is Meet Joe Black, starring Brad Pitt as the personification of death and Anthony Hopkins as a billionaire about to die.

Until now, Marty's offbeat, casual directing style, where he overshoots scenes and lets actors experiment has served him well.

But reviews for Meet Joe Black are mixed.

If Brad Pitt came to you in heaven, would you accept?

He could come to me in hell and I would accept.

Are you kidding?

Are you kidding?

Well, back in 2001, Martin is getting ready to get back on track with something decidedly less experimental than Meet Joe Black.

And he has a great idea.

And it's one that he will write himself.

So this is what Marty is thinking.

We swoop into the life of our protagonist, Larry Geely.

Geely is a two-bit criminal trapped in a mediocre life.

He can't escape his own adolescence and grapples with a regressive view of the world.

A mafia boss he works for orders him to kidnap a mentally disabled man named Brian, who happens to be the brother of a federal prosecutor.

Another contract killer, the beautiful Ricky, is sent to babysit and make sure Glee doesn't screw up the mission.

And the three form an unconventional, familial relationship with Geely and Ricky acting like older siblings to Brian.

In the end, things get complicated.

Ricky runs away and Geely is killed protecting Brian.

Then, because of his enormous sacrifice, Geely has finally grown up and has symbolically ended his life of crime.

So that was his original idea.

Do either of you know what gili means in Italian?

Not even a little bit.

And my Italian ex would be so pissed that I didn't know that.

Sorry.

I thought it was like a fake made-up word.

No, it means lilies, like the flowers, but it's also an alternative name for corne de boué, a type of pasta that means oxhorns.

You're saying that and I'm like, well, I still don't know why he chose this as a me too.

I was like, there's no metaphor.

Like, what is this?

What am I supposed to get from this?

I mean, I was thinking the oxhorns because Ben Affleck's character,

the bull and the cow.

I'm like, just say top and a bottom, okay?

Just say top and a bottom, bull and a cow.

You're pissing me off.

That was crazy.

Yeah, leads me to.

Gili's character is obsessed with masculinity in the movie.

So the name is like a double entendre that hints at the journey he takes in the story, starting out as the bull and then growing to something more

beautiful.

So the movie is a dark and gentle look at a man's struggle to overcome his circumstances.

Not exactly a popcorn flick, but Marty's shining track record means funding, easy to find.

He gets backing from Revolution Studios, founded by an executive named Joe Roth.

And with the help of Sony Pictures, Roth is able to put up $54 million to make Marty's Magnum Opus.

Do you know who Joe Roth is?

Asher Roth's dad?

No, I have no idea.

Shut the fuck up.

Well, Joe, he's a hitmaker.

He's produced the movies Young Guns, Major League, Die Hard 2.

Also, this little Christmas film called Home Alone.

Don't know if you heard of it.

Heard, heard of it.

To be fair, he's also produced some bombs.

In the 90s, he actually ends up $15 million in debt to Disney for losing them so much money.

So that's not great.

Miraculously, the debt is forgiven.

He's given a raise and then is installed as the studio's chief.

So textbook case of failing upwards.

I love men.

Just less low-key

American dream.

Like, one day I'll be a white man, and that will happen to me.

No, I have consequences.

Imagine that.

Well, that gig lasts for six years, at which point Roth, having feuded with chairman and the CEO of Disney, Michael Eisner, too much, he exits through the back and founds Revolution.

Eisner then publicly says, quote, I don't consider him a great loss to this company.

Oh, okay, that's kind of tea, though.

That's kind of like Housewives coded.

Yeah, yeah.

Hopenheimer coded.

Yeah.

So when the script for Geely is done, Marty feels like he's onto something great and he gets to work casting.

For the main character, Larry Geely, he immediately thinks of Ben Affleck, an actor with a commanding screen presence, intimidating enough to be a mobster, but also someone with relatable vulnerability.

Now, I have to pause here

because I don't buy it.

We'll get into how the movie ended up being the flop that it was, but his first idea and vision of this was a mob movie.

And there are scenes in the movie when Ben Affleck is talking, and I just don't buy it.

The Ben Affleck of it all is one of the stranger choices in the movie because he really doesn't work as like a very emotional actor.

It also doesn't work as like a menacing kind of like anchor of this.

It's so like gonzo and like goofy.

Yeah, I agree.

Yeah.

I also feel like they just were like, Ben Affleck's just a man from Boston.

So like maybe it's up his sleeve, but like it really was not.

Well, for Ricky, Marty wants an actor who is beautiful, sexy, and strong, but also gentle.

And you know who checks all those boxes?

Jenny from the block.

Unfortunately, J-Lo turns the role down for scheduling reasons.

So Hallie Berry gets the part, but then she leaves to film X-Men 2.

And the second time's a charm, Marty tries again and J-Lo finally signs on.

Marty thinks that Affleck and Lopez are perfect for the roles, but they're not exactly cheap.

What do you think the stars of Pearl Harbor and Maiden Manhattan deserve to be paid for this movie?

$100 million.

Maybe $150, depending on what day you catch me.

Are you kidding me?

The cultural footprint of G Lee is so big.

Like, is the movie a flop?

Yes.

Did it give us benefit?

Also, yes.

So you told me.

You can't put a price on millions.

Millions.

The limit does not exist.

Well, Revolution Studios begrudgingly ponies up $12 million a piece for the stars, which is about $21 million in today matter.

$21 million is a lot.

Damn.

Yeah, but I also love that it was a piece.

They paid them both the same.

So I loved that.

That's good.

Equality.

Equality.

This movie is not giving gender equality, but

outside of it,

but the lawyers are.

The agents are.

Yes.

But for that money, this movie better be good.

Although Revolution does have deep pockets, its startup budget was a quarter of a billion dollars.

Good for them.

Also joining the cast of Glee are legends Christopher Walken as a detective and then unknown actor named Justin Bartha playing Brian, the kidnap victim.

And of course, who do you cast as a terrifying mob boss?

Al Pacino.

Al Pacino.

Al Pacino.

Al Pacino.

So what do you think?

Good cast?

Yes.

Al Pacino and his little ponytail.

Like,

no, I'm sorry.

He took it.

He took it.

The ponytail, like the disheveled suit.

When Al Pacino comes into the scene, I was like, oh, wait, the movie has begun.

Like, now we're paying attention.

He comes and like a bullet train.

Like, he's really taking it.

Actually, in my notes, I literally wrote, Al Pacino, questionmark, questionmark, question.

Like, as he's like on screen.

But I do love that he does everything with his full chest.

That's my man, my man, my man.

For sure.

Yeah.

The below the line crew, nothing to sneeze at either.

The director of photography's impressive resume includes Punch Drunk Love, Boogie Knights, and Magnolia.

Jeely's composer is fresh fresh off the Italian job and the born identity.

And the costume designer did Blade Runner.

I mean, come on.

So this flop to me feels like watching Titanic.

Like, I know how it ends, but every time I watch it, I think Jack's going to somehow, you know, survive.

But with everything short up for Glee, production begins and ends without a hitch.

It's really great.

Well,

well.

But then something unexpected happens.

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck fall in love.

Oh, I know.

Those crazy kids.

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On Boxing Day 2018, 20-year-old Joy Morgan was last seen at her church, Israel United in Christ, or IUIC.

I just went on my Snapchat and I just see her face plastered everywhere.

This is The Missing Sister, the true story of a woman betrayed by those she trusted most.

IUIC is my family and like the best family that I've ever had.

But IUIC isn't like most churches.

This is a devilish cult.

You know when you get that feeling where you just, I don't want to be here.

I want to get out.

It's like that feeling of like I want to go hang out.

I'm Charlie Brentcoast Cuff and after years of investigating Joy's case, I need to know what really happened to Joy.

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On set, J-Lo and Ben Affleck, they meet for the first time.

They're smitten.

But Lopez just married her backup dancer a couple of months before shooting.

Whatever.

Love's love.

So Lopez files for divorce from her second husband and the two go public with their relationship, gaining the mononym Benefer, which we keep saying.

They also revealed they're engaged just a few short months later and everyone goes gaga over the giant Harry Winston pink diamond that Affleck gives JLO.

So how do you think this affects the movie?

I think we've got a blog poster on our hands.

I don't know what the problem could be.

I was like, that's the marketing dream, is being like, thank God we can like put these little show ponies to work.

Thank God we can start some rumors and then they end up being true.

Yeah, I mean, literally, you cannot buy this kind of PR.

Yeah.

So, I mean, really great news.

If Geely is halfway decent, this thing is going to make millions of dollars.

That's a big if because the script was never a fun romp.

So that limits the fans to gritty crime capers.

But the production, although smooth, seems geared toward making this movie completely unwatchable,

in my opinion.

The cast and crew can't really put their finger on it, but it seems they know this fact on a subconscious level already.

So Jeez's production designer, Gary Frutkoff, asks this very important question.

Hunter, can you please read this quote from Gary's interview with cinema.com?

This was a character-driven piece, which I'm always attracted to, and it had really good dialogue in heart.

But I had to ask myself: if the story is about a guy who doesn't care about aesthetics and doesn't have much in the way of possessions, how do we make it interesting?

Do you have any advice for him?

But what do we think happened?

They set out to make a crime thriller and then saw, actually, people want a rom-com, so how do we retool this into a rantic comedy to, like, you know, ride the Bennefer wave, which I've been on for 20 years.

I know you could have told me this was like an independent film, a movie made with love more than anything.

It kind of reminds me of the way that Timothy, Chalamet, and Zendaya will like never actually have chemistry.

They have all the tools, they have all the backings to make something real sexy, and then it's just homies who happen to smooch.

Like, that's that's how it feels to me.

Yeah, what we're talking about is half the movie takes place in Gili's or Affleck's apartment, where he's holding Brian, the DA special needs brother, hostage along with Ricky, aka J-Lo, the second contractor.

But the problem is, Gili can't live in a glamorous luxury condo decked out with things to please the viewer's eye.

I mean, he's a hollowed-out, turmoil-ridden dude, so his home needs to reflect that.

And according to Frutkoff, the set is, quote, like a struggling actor's first apartment.

And every actor who came to the set said, I lived in that place.

That reminds me of Lucas Gage, his apartment, when he did that audition.

Oh my God, yes.

And the director was like, oh my God, these people and their little nasty homes.

No, literally him not owning a book is like, unfortunately, incredibly apt.

I was like, I know a few men who have the same apartment.

I'll tell you that.

So, like we said, Gili, he doesn't read or collect art.

So, there's nothing on his dingy brown walls or shelves.

His furniture and appliances are bare bones.

His place is only decorated with painted-over cigarette burns and shorted-out electrical outlets.

No problem.

A good director can make anything sparkle with interesting angles, creative dolly maneuvers, right?

No.

Because Marty likes to use the same couple of lenses and basic shots in all of his movies.

He repeats them over and over and over again, letting the performances be the eye candy.

You know who was top of the call sheet?

It was not J-Lo, and it was not Ben.

It was J-Lo's midriff.

That's who was top of the call sheet.

Yes.

That's who was booking.

Yeah.

She like low-key sold me on yoga in that one scene.

Right.

They was like, oh, this is what people are talking about.

I understand.

Let me stretch.

Hold on.

Now, let's get into the costumes, which we were just referring to.

I mean, they do need to be as uninteresting as the characters.

So we're thinking dull browns, ugly maroons, durable fabrics, track suits, polo shirts, and the piece des résistance Gillie's leather blazer.

But what Peyton was just talking about, we cannot forget Ricky's insanely low-rise pants, thanks to the early 2000s.

Yeah, it was

all hip.

She took it.

It was ass crack first.

She entered that room ass first.

As she should, as is her God's even right.

As she should, yes.

Meanwhile, the tabloids are plastered with pics of Bennefer being cute, and the hype intensifies as Marty hunkers down in his editing bay.

The misplaced confidence, it's high, and all of the actors involved think this is going to be a hit.

They loved working with Marty, truthfully, and appreciate his supportive directing style.

So let's read from an interview with the movie's two stars from cinema.com.

Peyton, you'll be Lopez.

Thank God.

Hunter, you'll be Affleck.

All right.

You have not a very likable protagonist whose behavior goes against the grain of how people should behave.

It was exciting to try to do something where you don't have to follow all the normal guidelines of movie behavior.

Ricky shows up out of nowhere, and she's a very self-confident, self-assured enforcer.

But then she starts quoting pearls of ancient Asian wisdom.

Somehow, that doesn't quite fit the profile.

Wait, she said I'm not like the other girls.

She said, I move different.

I move different.

No, I love it.

Never let them know your next move.

I think it's so crazy that Jennifer went on public record saying, what's my motivation for this?

Who knows?

And then Affleck, he's like, we're breaking all the movie rules.

Exciting.

Also dang.

He says, and I'm like little protagonists, I should be going to David E.

Kelly show on HBO.

Where's my the undoing?

Where's my big little lies?

Like, okay, queen.

So Marty finishes his cut and proudly runs some test screenings.

How do you think audiences react?

Okay, I cheated.

I looked this up before.

Bad.

Yeah.

They hated it.

They hated that G Lee dies in the end.

Yes.

I mean, they found it sort of funny, mostly upsetting.

They definitely did not like Ben Affleck dying in the end.

They found it bizarre.

Where is the happy ending?

So, Revolution Studios, Joe Roth, panics about these early impressions to the original cut.

I mean, the studio has poured over $50 million into hiring the best actors and crew.

Best actors.

I mean, they even gave Marty the costumer from Blade Runner for Pete's sake and for what?

An ugly leather blazer.

So

to protect his investment, Joe Roth gives Marty an ultimatum.

Marty needs to reshoot and re-edit huge swaths of the film.

No more of this depressive, contemplative BS about failing to launch or whatever.

Cut the death scene at the end and make it all sexy somehow.

Jeely must become a rom-com.

Now, why do you think he wants a rom-com?

Why not lean into the mafia stuff?

I mean, Lopez, Affleck, and Pacino have all led gritty dramas successfully.

That, like, I'm sorry, they thought they were making like Mystic River, like, the most capital M-A-N man with emotions movie ever.

And instead, they were making like Shakespeare in love.

Yeah.

And the thing about making this a rom-com is that J-Lo's character, Ricky, is a lesbian.

And in that first version of the movie, she doesn't end up with G-Lee because

she's a lesbian.

Wait,

was J-Lo always, was was her character always a lesbian from like first draft to finals?

Yes.

It's worse because of what the edits do.

Okay, don't piss me off then.

Yeah, yeah.

Let's make this a rom-com.

I'll kill you.

Okay, let Magobi gay.

As I was watching this, I was trying to like think about what is happening in the early 2000s where like it's like straight men realize that lesbians exist.

Between this and chasing Amy, like the most like crazily offensive and reductive, but also like, oh my God, wait, but what if I can have sex with a woman who is queer?

Like, what if that is a possibility?

What if I can get her?

And like, Ben Aufflek is somehow on the forefront of that effort.

Like, we have to hold space for him calling her a dicosaurus rex.

When I tell you, I said, let me just shut my computer real quick.

So, it is the early 2000s.

We have to remember, you know, take us back to Bridget Jones' diary, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Jay Lone's Own The Wedding Planner.

Those are all making bank at the time.

So, Roth figures with the popularity of Benefer at an all-time high, it's time to strike while the iron is hot.

Marty is horrified and he refuses.

You can't just wave your magic wand and turn a crime drama into a rom-com.

So tensions between Roth and Marty come to a head and post-production is shut down for eight months while they try to hash out their differences.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah.

So that's eight months of not knowing whether the whole project is going to get scrapped.

Marty's labor of love and Roth's gigantic investment are both at risk.

So then comes the ultimatum.

Roth takes back the promise to give Marty final cut.

Revolution will fix it with or without him.

Marty can either quit or stay on and oversee the massacre of his precious work, the movie he not only directed but wrote.

And he decides to make the worst business decision of his life.

He stays.

So, Peyton, could you please read this quote from Marty in Variety, looking back at this moment?

Of course, of course, I'm off book.

I'm off book.

Okay.

For the first time in my career, I had become a true collaborator, not in the benign, creative sense, but rather that of

one who, in violation of their true allegiances, cooperates with occupying forces.

Occupying forces.

So

he had something to say.

He said, I'm gonna get this off my chest.

He said, hold on, hold on.

Whoa.

Yeah.

Okay,

he meant that shit.

He kind of ate that.

How hard is it to kill a planet?

Maybe all it takes is a little drilling, some mining, and a whole lot of carbon pumped into the atmosphere.

When When you see what's left, it starts to look like a crime scene.

Are we really safe?

Is our water safe?

You destroyed our town.

And crimes like that, they don't just happen.

We call things accidents.

There is no accident.

This was 100%

preventable.

They're the result of choices by people.

Ruthless oil tycoons, corrupt politicians, even organized crime.

These are the stories we need to be telling about our changing planet.

Stories of scams, murders, and cover-ups that are about us and the things we're doing to either protect the Earth or destroy it.

Follow Lawless Planet on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Well, the studio brings the cast back for reshoots, mostly just to tweak the ending.

Their production budget balloons to $75 million,

and the title even changes from Gee-Lee to Tough Love, then back to Gee-Lee.

The studio fully accepting that this is now a directionless mess.

By the time Gee-Li is wrapped and edited, it's nonsensical.

The serious comedy of the original film is amped up in the recut to help give it a rom-com vibe.

And to achieve this, takes are just smashed together in incredibly bizarre configurations, resulting in strange and unexplainable tonal shifts throughout the movie.

And the score adds more incongruity.

So here's G Lee's first scene.

Remember, he's a low-life criminal working for the mob, and here he's in a laundromat talking to his hostage who's been stuffed into a dryer.

A human body is like 80% moisture, right?

How much do you weigh?

165, 170?

Figure if you could somehow extract 80% of that,

it'd be more like beef jerky, you know, but with hair and bones and teeth.

It's the casual jazz music in the back that's

really not working for me.

It's giving prime time on USA Network.

Like, it's giving an episode of Monk.

Yes, it's the episode of Monk.

Literally.

He's about to do a pota-boo ray or something.

And I was like, there's something in here that's about to turn way too jazzy.

Six, seven, eight.

So strange.

But even though this is a romance now, Pacino's character still shoots a guy who's sitting next to an aquarium, sending some of his brains into the tank where the fish starts to nibble on them.

Well, it doesn't stop there.

You'll remember this, I'm sure.

Ricky's ex-girlfriend shows up at random, self-harms, is taken to the hospital, and then nobody ever brings it up again.

Okay, and I'm glad you brought it up because I've been dying to talk about it for a fucking hot minute.

That was when I was like, I've never seen this movie before.

Like, it was so crazy.

And also, the way that she like self-harms, it looked so like I didn't even know what they were reacting to.

I was like, what did she do?

I also was like, whoever made this movie hates lesbians.

Just by the way, they were like Googled lesbians.

I said, yeah, that shit's crazy.

Let's throw that in there.

Yeah.

What?

The other thing is that I have to like salute J-Lo that her girlfriend is in the hospital and she's still wearing a titty top to the emergency room.

Like J-Lo walked into that hospital and said, Seattle Grace, like, are you ready to make history today?

Like, I am like pulling a look.

She actually makes a really good lesbian.

Like, J-Lo's hot as a lesbian, and I'm a J-Lo hater down bad.

So it's crazy.

I got to tip my cap.

Yeah.

As a reminder, this is a rom-com where the cis hetero male Larry Gili falls for and ends up with a lesbian woman.

That doesn't even begin to touch the conversation they have about like how women have sex together versus how important a penis is.

Like that was one of the crazier conversations I've ever witnessed on screen.

It was out of control.

Well, actually,

we do have a clip of this brief little exchange.

And for the listeners, please note that J-Lo is erotically stretching while Affleck is making this terrible case that they should bang.

That's why these lesbians are always going out by, you know, spending all their dough on like, you know,

sexual appliances, erotic monkey wrenches and shit, trying to compensate for what they don't have.

They're not getting.

The penis.

The penis is like some sort of bizarre sea slug or like a really

long toe.

I mean, it's handy, important, even, but the pinnacle of sexual design, the top of the list of erotic destinations?

I don't think so.

No, I'm sex negative now.

Like, sorry.

I'm like, I now hate men and women.

I'm actually, that is true feminism, is being like, I actually hate you all.

Well, I'm so sorry.

You did agree to be on this episode.

So, producers, lock the gates.

Can we please roll the next clip?

It's turkey time.

No, not the turkey.

Gobble, gobble.

Huh?

Gobble, gobble.

What?

Now you talk the talk.

You know I'm expecting you to walk the walk.

Come on.

Show me what I've been missing my whole life.

Lay some of that sweethead or lingus on me.

I'm going to say something, which is actually true.

It's like, every lesbian has had this conversation with a man before.

Not the second one, but the first one for sure.

I cannot tell you how many many times a man has been like,

yeah, what did he say?

The

monkey wrenches of lesbian.

First of all, let's call her by her name.

Okay, it's a dildo, first of all.

But then

the way with haste that she is so ready to be like, all right, fuck me.

All right, fine.

Hey, girl,

fight back.

Like, fight back just a little bit.

My God.

So that's the sexual tension between a lesbian and a man that doesn't take no for an answer.

But the sad ending that left test audiences feeling ill at ease, that's gone.

It's replaced with Geely and Ricky literally driving off into the sunset to inspirational music, or at least alongside the sunset, if you're a stickler for celestial accuracy.

But as the hype machine revs up to promote the film, people are getting very tired of Bennifer.

Sick of the overexposure and maybe even a little jealous, the media turns on the couple.

So at G Lee's premiere, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez hold their heads high.

They ignore the paparazzi and make their way over to excited fans to sign some autographs.

And for a brief moment, they can bask in adoration and forget how nervous they are that their movie will be despised.

Roth, Marty, and Sony Pictures, they know what's coming.

Critics are going to jump at the chance to give their best scathing hot take, enshrining Glee as an embarrassment.

They know that the marketing for Glee has been a complete bait and switch, and they're bracing themselves for inevitable backlash.

Posters are misleading, looking almost like they're made for a Hallmark movie.

And trailers desperately hide the fact that Lopez's character is a lesbian to fool rom-com fans.

So let's watch that trailer.

The harder they resist it, a woman is beautiful.

Now don't get yourself all tied in a nut.

The stronger it becomes.

I got this beautiful, sexy, unattainable girl sleeping in a bed right next to me.

This is driving me crazy.

Every relationship has to fall on a kill, huh?

She

understand being mad.

I'll say I actually think Tough Love is a much better title.

Totally, totally.

And probably would look better in that font treatment, but that's just me.

What are the obvious rom-com tropes here?

First of all, that they're not really ever in the same shot.

They're both like gazing at one another.

That's the big one.

Yeah.

Imagine you've never seen the movie before.

Are you fooled?

100%.

Yeah.

People are going in thinking they're going to see the hottest couple in Hollywood falling in love, but instead they get...

Ben Affleck cutting off a cadaver's thumb and a fish in a tank munching on the brains of a murder victim.

And wait, sorry, we also have to hold space for Justin Bartha rapping Baby Got Back as Ben Affleck is cutting a thumb off of a cadaver.

I mean, that is like some Robert Durst level stuff.

That's like the jinx.

Yeah.

I mean, unsurprisingly, audiences feel cheated and the movie tanks almost immediately.

And in that tank, little fish nibble on the movie's remains.

After its second weekend, the movie slips even further, setting the record in 2003 for the biggest second weekend drop.

It's still at number 12 today.

Wow.

Now, critics excoriate the movie.

By the way, if you haven't seen it, that's a reference to the movie.

Classic boss.

At one point, Gili's boss tells him he's learning new words, and to excoriate, quote, means to strip or wear off the skin of or to flay.

So let's take a look at some reviews.

Hunter, could you read Newsweek?

After the Schotten Freuden thrill of watching beautiful people humiliate themselves wears off, it has the same annihilating effect on your will to live.

Ooh.

Peyton, could you do the John Wilson of the Razzies?

I don't care how medicated you are or what people you're watching it with.

Gili is just a pain in the posterior.

It's one of those things that is, as opposed to enjoyably embarrassing, it's just skin-crawlingly embarrassing.

That was generous.

Hunter, could you please read a review from The Washington Post's Stephen Hunter?

Yes.

The movie has no structure at all, no sense of urgency, no compelling reason to exist or be endured whatsoever.

The scenes play on and on and on, and the story winds down by ways of no consequence whatsoever.

That's a thing, though.

There are no consequences for any of these people's actions.

No.

I mean, even the folks involved with the movie give it a thumbs down.

Like, Affleck said, it's just spectacular.

It's a tsunami.

It couldn't be worse.

This is as bad as it gets.

And Marty himself says, it's a really bloody mess that deserved its excoriation.

I mean, he really loves that.

No, he

really brought himself back to

self-reference.

Self-reference on Dictionary.

Yeah.

Additional complaints include full plot lines being dropped halfway through, subpar acting, inconsistent characters, and the performance of the mentally disabled character Brian is found to be problematic, like unquestionably offensive.

Perhaps, unsurprisingly, Geely

sweeps the Razzies, winning for worst picture, worst actor, worst actress, worst screen couple, worst director, and worst screenplay.

10, 10, 10s across the board.

So Joe Roth at Revolution Studios really hoped the hot young couple's real-life love would translate to cold, hard cash.

But it turns out, the Bennifer Buzz isn't all it's cracked up to be.

By the time the movie is released, the public is already tired of Bennifer This and Bennett,

and no one feels the need to go see a movie with more of this overexposed couple.

All in all, Geely grosses less than $8 million

worldwide.

So it loses an estimated $70 million,

not counting potential millions in marketing cost, and cements itself as one of the worst movies of all time.

It currently has a 6% rating on Rotten Tomatoes with an audience score of 13%

and an 2.6 on IMDb with over 50,000 ratings.

And it all but caused the end of Benefer 1.0.

For years, the cast and crew have been dogged by how Gili turned out, even after they'd long moved on and found success in other ways.

Ben Affleck, he's still a movie star and lauded writer-director, but he's still haunted by Gili's specter.

Here he is talking to his best bud, Matt Damon, about how it felt getting the wrong kind of attention.

But I thought like

this is really not how I had hoped it would go, where I'm going to still be, be, what, famous for being an asshole or a failure and not able to work.

I just can't think of any worse outcome because I've never found any virtue in fame at all, short of like, I've probably gotten out of a couple of tickets.

I've gotten reservations, but the whole point was to be able to do this job.

That was it.

Otherwise, what is it worth?

It just, it's corrosive.

It changes the relationships you have with other people.

It can engender resentment.

It can get between you and other people.

There's not a lot of merit to like fame in and of itself.

Okay, hold on.

I'm sorry.

Like, I have to call bullshit.

Right.

I know he can say, oh, it engenders resentment.

It has no merit.

Okay, we get it.

You went to Harvard.

First of all, second of all, he's a Leo.

Are you kidding?

We live for attention.

We, like, even in talking about how much he hates attention, he's doing it in the most attention-seeking way possible, i.e., on a Zoom with his famous best friend, hunched over in his chair, like most main character syndrome ever.

Sorry.

So let's do a little, where are they now?

Roth sold his company and for a while it seemed he'd lost everything.

But he did eventually claw his way back into the movie business, producing big budget features like Maleficent.

He also co-owned a successful major league soccer team for a few years, so I think he's going to be okay.

Martin Brest, meanwhile, hasn't directed a movie since.

He won't even say the name Geely.

He merely calls it the G-movie.

The less said about it, the better, he jokes.

In 2009, his student film, Hot Dogs for Gauguin, became one of 25 films chosen by the Library of Congress to be preserved as an artistic treasure.

Ben Affleck still puts Marty up on a pedestal, and he thanked him during his best picture acceptance speech for Argo for teaching him how to direct.

Now, there's no publicly available director's cut of G-Lee, so it's genuinely debatable whether it was ever any good.

I mean, could Marty have just made a bad movie to begin with?

Probably.

What do you think?

Should they release the breast cut?

Ew.

And that's a joke right out of G-Lee, actually.

I want to see every single cut, every single scene of this movie.

I need it actually to fuel me, to feed me.

Well, despite his critically panned role, Justin Bartha, who played Brian, went on to star in many movies, including the National Treasure series and the hangover comedies.

Affleck and Lopez broke up the next year, calling off their wedding, and they cited the horrible treatment they received after Gili and the non-stop tabloid harassment that made their relationship too difficult to maintain.

But as of today, the original benefit is back together.

Affleck and Lopez got married in 2022.

And although we wish them well, celebrity love, it's very unpredictable.

So here on the big flop, we try to be positive people and kind of end on a high.

So are there any silver linings that you have that came from Glee?

I was about to be like, you got the wrong bitches on this podcast.

You got the wrong girls, baby.

Feel free to be a little shitty.

Yeah, we're just fucking haters.

So

I think think a win is that after Gili, Ben Affleck was so spurned that he was like, let me open final draft and write gone, we be gone.

Like, let me do anything else.

And this is the movie that I think he credits for like making him actually become serious about directing.

So that's a good thing.

I think it can't get worse than Gili.

So it's only up from there.

I think that's beautiful.

So now that you both know about this movie Flop that was carefully hidden in the depths of my brain for years, would you consider this a baby flop, a big flop, or a mega flop?

Mega.

The biggest flop there's ever been.

Mega.

Yeah, super bass.

Oh my god, I'm in the splash zone.

Oh my god.

I took that shampoo.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No,

it was biblically bad.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Wow.

Thank you so much to our silver screen worthy guests, Hunter Harris and Peyton Dix, for joining us here on the big flop.

And thanks to all of of you for listening.

If you're enjoying the show, please leave us a rating and review.

We'll be back next week with a flop that had folks ready to bring out their torches and pitchforks.

It's season eight of Game of Thrones.

Bye.

If you like the Big Flop, you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus.

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The Big Flop is a production of Wondery and At Will Media, hosted by me, Misha Brown.

Produced by Sequoia Thomas, Harry Huggins, and Tina Turner.

Written by Anna Rubinova.

Engineered by Andrew Holzberger.

With support from Zach Grapone.

Our story editor is Drew Beebe.

Our managing producer is Molly Getman.

Our executive producers are Kate Walsh and Will Milnatti for At Will Media.

Legal support by Carolyn Levin of Miller, Korzynik, Summers, and Raymond.

Producers for Wondery are Matt Beagle and Grant Rutter.

Story editing by Brian Taylor White.

Coordinating producer is Mariah Gossett.

Music supervisor is Scott Velazquez for Freeson Sink.

Our theme song is Sinking Ship by Cake.

And executive producers are Lizzie Bassett, Dave Easton, and Marsha Louie for Wondery.

We are

on a sinking ship.

We are

on a sinking ship.

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