Fang Fang’s Farting Boyfriend and the Evil Soccer Mom | Episode 98

Speaker 1 Scalding hot potatoes, massive farts on screen, and sleeping with Chinese spies. I mean, what more could Californians want?

Speaker 1 Okay, guys, I saw a comment the other day and they were like, Brett, these intros keep getting more outrageous. That's not me.
That is not on me.

Speaker 1 That is on the content that these politicians are putting out, that these people on social media are doing. I am just here to offer that to you in an entertaining way.

Speaker 1 So it's not my fault that the intros are more outrageous. It is simply what is happening in our world.

Speaker 1 Anyway, what I am here to tell you about today is the fact that I need a full-on TV show about the upcoming Cooper tutorial race in California because per usual, this might be the greatest entertainment that we get all year.

Speaker 1 Unless, of course, you live in California. And in that case, thoughts and prayers.
Now, before we dive into this story, I want to tell you about something that is extremely exciting.

Speaker 1 Now, as you guys might remember, back in January, we launched a subscription platform called Cooper Confidential. Many of you guys guys are members.

Speaker 1 This is where you were going to get additional content. You would also be able to watch ad-free versions of the show.

Speaker 1 But as you might know, we have kind of been dark on there for the last couple of months. And that is because we've been working on something behind the scenes.

Speaker 1 As you guys know, my goal for this year was to become as independent as possible.

Speaker 1 I wanted to own every single thing that I was doing and make sure that I had touched all of it and made it as great as possible for all of you guys.

Speaker 1 So behind the scenes, we have been building a new subscription platform from the ground up. This is not a YouTube subscription.
This is not partnered with anyone else. This is is not a Patreon.

Speaker 1 This is something that we built ground up just for you guys because I just wasn't happy with all the options out there.

Speaker 1 And I wanted to give you guys a great experience and make something that I was excited about engaging with. And we have done that.

Speaker 1 So the existing Cooper Confidential members have already been migrating over. They are loving it.
The good reviews are in.

Speaker 1 Also, we have behind the scenes content ready for you guys already waiting there for you. We have my birth story.
We have different farm vlogs.

Speaker 1 You're going to be having new behind the scenes vlogs and content coming every single week. So if you are interested in that kind of stuff and add free episodes, that is your place.

Speaker 1 We will link it below. Cooper Confidential, new and improved.
I am so hyped. Thank you guys for being patient.
And I hope you love it. I hope you're super excited about it.

Speaker 1 All right, let's just dive on into this story because we are about a year out from this upcoming election in California because Gavin Newsom timed out. Done.
He cannot run again.

Speaker 1 Thank God for California. However, I just said, thank God, praise that Gavin Newsom will no longer be governor.
I don't know if his replacement options are that great.

Speaker 1 Like, you might be better off just keeping Gavin Newsom because this is genuinely insane.

Speaker 1 Like, unfortunately, for California, their top contenders are Katie Porter and Eric Swalwell, two of the most insane, unlikable people in all of politics.

Speaker 1 I mean, both of them are basically buffoonish cartoon villains at this point.

Speaker 1 Somebody posted this yesterday and said 40 million people, and the two most likely individuals to become governor of California are a dude who fell for a Chinese honeypot and a woman who poured scalding mashed potatoes on her husband's head, cooked.

Speaker 1 Absolutely cooked. I mean, when it comes to Katie Porter's husband, he is literally cooked.
The top of his head was cooked. Poor man.
And no, that story is not fake.

Speaker 1 We will be getting into that a little bit later, but comedy level, like sitcom level, terrible wife, soccer mom, Karen, Katie Porter could be California's next governor.

Speaker 1 So let's just go ahead and start with her because she was going viral last month. She is an interesting character, to say the least, and she seems to have some anger.

Speaker 1 She's like, I would not be surprised if she ends up at the same anger management course that Randy Fine had to do. Sorry, guys, I had to bring that back because it is just too good.

Speaker 1 But anyway, let's just take a look at how she responded and reacted when she was asked a very legit question in a relatively softball interview.

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Speaker 4 Last month, what do you say to the 40% of California voters who you'll need in order to win

Speaker 4 who voted for Trump?

Speaker 5 How would I need them in order to win, ma'am?

Speaker 4 Well, unless you think you're going to get 60% of the vote. You think you'll get 60%.

Speaker 4 Everybody who did not vote for Trump will vote for you. That's what you're saying.

Speaker 5 In a general election?

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 5 If it is me versus a Republican, I think that I will win the people who did not vote for Trump.

Speaker 4 What if it's you versus another Democrat?

Speaker 5 I don't intend that to be the case.

Speaker 4 So how do you not intend that to be the case?

Speaker 4 Are you going to ask them not to run?

Speaker 5 No, no, I'm saying I'm going to build the support. I have the support already in terms of name recognition.

Speaker 5 And so I'm going to do the very best I can to make sure that we get through this primary in a really strong position. But let me be clear with you.
I represented Orange County.

Speaker 5 I represented a purple area. I have stood on my own two feet and won Republican votes before.
That's not something every candidate in this race can say.

Speaker 5 If you're from a deep blue area, if you're from LA, or you're from Oakland,

Speaker 5 you don't have an experience.

Speaker 4 And you just said you don't need those Trump voters.

Speaker 5 Well, you asked me if I needed them to win. You don't need to win.
I feel like this is unnecessarily argumentative. What is your question?

Speaker 4 The question is the same thing I asked everybody, that this is being called the empowering voters to stop Trump's power grab. Every other candidate has answered this question.
This is not correct.

Speaker 5 And I said I support it.

Speaker 4 So, and the question is, what do you say to the 40% of voters who voted for Trump?

Speaker 5 Oh, I'm happy to say that. It's the do you need them to win part that I don't understand.
I'm happy to answer the question as you have it written and I'll answer it.

Speaker 4 And we've also asked the other candidates, do you think you need any of those 40%

Speaker 4 of California voters to win? And you're saying, no, you don't.

Speaker 5 No, I'm saying I'm going to try to win every vote I can. And what I'm saying to you is that.

Speaker 4 Well, to those voters. Okay, so you...

Speaker 5 I don't want to keep doing this. I'm going to call it.

Speaker 5 Thank you.

Speaker 4 You're not going to do the interview with us.

Speaker 5 Nope, not like this, I'm not. Not with seven follow-ups to every single question you ask.

Speaker 4 Every other candidate has answered.

Speaker 5 I don't care. I want to have a pleasant, positive conversation with you ask me about every issue on this list.

Speaker 5 And if every question, you're going to make up a follow-up question, then we're never going to get there.

Speaker 5 And we're just going to circle around.

Speaker 7 I'm an investigator.

Speaker 5 She has never had to do this before, ever.

Speaker 1 Okay, she has never had to do this before. She has never had to do a normal interview where you are asked a question, you sort of answer, and the conversation continues.

Speaker 1 That is just how conversations and interviews go. However, in Katie Porter's place, she didn't even answer the question to begin with.
Okay, sorry. I'm getting ahead of myself here.
It is just so bad.

Speaker 1 Pulling off her microphone. I want to have a pleasant conversation.
I just want to answer the questions that are on the page.

Speaker 1 Possibly because she got the questions ahead of time and wasn't expecting to actually have to stand on her own two feet and answer them. I have no idea what is going on.

Speaker 1 But obviously, this woman was not happy, and there is a lot to unpack here.

Speaker 1 Now, the first thing that stood out to me is her just completely dismissing Trump voters at the beginning and saying, No, I don't need them to win.

Speaker 1 And the fact that she thought that simple of a question was argumentative enough, as the reporter was just trying to get to the root of what Katie was saying, to get up and walk out of the interview that is certainly dashing through the store.

Speaker 8 Dave's looking for a gift, one you can't ignore, but not the socks he picks. I know, I'm putting them back.
Hey, Dave, here's a tip. Put scratchers on your list.

Speaker 9 Oh, scratchers, good idea.

Speaker 8 It's an easy shopping trip. We're glad we could assist.
Thanks, random singing people. So be like Dave this holiday and give the gift of play.
Scratchers from the California lottery.

Speaker 8 A little play can make your day.

Speaker 7 Please play responsibly. Must be 18 years or older to purchase play or claim.

Speaker 1 Fortifiably crazy. Somebody commented and said, Democrats are so used to being cuddled by the media that a simple, non-hostile, but honest prodding by a journalist sets them off.

Speaker 1 These people are maniacs that should never be trusted with authority. You're not wrong.
Again, this is like simple. Her reaction was so overblown.

Speaker 1 Another person said, if she wins, hopefully nobody asks her any follow-up questions as governor, she might resign. Yeah, God forbid.

Speaker 1 She has to address the media as a politician and answer their follow-up questions, their very basic, boring, milquetoast follow-up questions. Now, obviously, that is all my opinion.

Speaker 1 I think she was ridiculous, but of course, not everybody agrees with me. Not everybody feels that way.

Speaker 1 And a lot of people online thought that she was actually right to walk off and thought that this reporter was out of line, was asking a dumb question, and was doing some sort of gotcha moment.

Speaker 1 Like this guy said, Who the F needs Trump voters in a California state election? That's like asking for Biden voters in an Arkansas race. Couple of other comments I want to read to you.

Speaker 1 This person said she answered the question framed several ways. It's like they are being paid by the number of times they say his name.
End this shit, Dems, walk out if you must.

Speaker 1 She answered it over and over, and the reporter just kept trying to reframe her answer. Why? The new right-wing CBS overlords will like her?

Speaker 1 Okay, but the thing is, my response in these comments is that she actually didn't answer the whole question. It wasn't just, do you think you need the Trump voters? It was, what would you say to them?

Speaker 1 What would you say to them to convince them to vote for you? And yes, of course, California is blue, but it is blue because of three big cities. The rest of the state is red.

Speaker 1 It actually has more Republican voters, registered voters, than any other state in the entire country. country.

Speaker 1 And if you were a normal candidate who is not Katie Porter, I think that you would be wanting to encourage those Republican voters to come out and vote for you in a primary or even if not in a primary in the actual election next year.

Speaker 1 But of course, Katie, Katie, who thinks she's so amazing, Katie does not think that she's going to have a challenger. We'll get back to that later because that's funny.

Speaker 1 So why would she bother with those Californians? Because she obviously doesn't think she needs them.

Speaker 1 I am actually less upset with the fact that she thought those questions were argumentative or that she ripped off her microphone and wanted to walk off screen.

Speaker 1 I'm less upset with that and more upset by the fact that she is just completely blowing off the millions and millions of California Republicans.

Speaker 1 Like she is point blank saying that she hates you, she doesn't care about you, she is happy to ignore you, and she gleefully said all of that out loud.

Speaker 1 She does not think that she needs to work to get your vote. That should encourage you to get out and start working to make sure that you vote in this election.

Speaker 1 I know a lot of people like to wait for the presidential election. They do not get involved with local politics.
This should tell you that you need to get involved.

Speaker 1 Now, somebody reposted that clip on X and they said, man, if she is doing this on camera, like imagine what she is doing behind closed doors.

Speaker 1 Imagine what she is saying to other journalists, to her staff, to her family. And boy, did the floodgates open.

Speaker 1 Because within hours of that clip from that interview going viral, this deleted excerpt from another conversation just happened to be leaked. Take a watch.

Speaker 10 State could lose four.

Speaker 10 You're out of my fucking shop. I wanted to tell you that that's actually incorrect.
It's not that it's electric vehicles. It's that if we don't meet the commitments under the Paris Climate Accord.

Speaker 8 Okay.

Speaker 10 It does. Okay.
You also were in my shot before that.

Speaker 1 Stay out of my shot. My God.
I mean, this like woman, I have no words. This woman is just so incredibly awful.
I mean, can you imagine working for that woman? You're her staffer.

Speaker 1 You are just trying to help her, not put her foot in her mouth. So you're kind of like sneaking in the background.
She starts swearing at you, saying, get the F out of my shot.

Speaker 1 You give her a good note so that you don't sound like an idiot. And rather than going, okay, thank you.
So sorry, I'm just a little on edge, you go, all right, well, you are still in my effing shot.

Speaker 1 I mean, this woman is a piece of work. Now, it's important to note that this conversation took place years ago in 2021, and it had that moment edited out.

Speaker 1 Now, that clip was then leaked to Politico in the aftermath of that first interview that we watched. Again, it was publicized like hours after people started seeing her walk off on screen.

Speaker 1 Somebody on her staff. had been sitting on that clip just waiting for things to come crumbling down.
And boy, did they start crumbling. And boy, have I had fun.

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Speaker 1 Now, getting back to Katie, who unfortunately for us, we cannot put her in a stopbox pro and keep her there, unfortunately, but it's not like Katie had a squeaky, clean reputation to begin with.

Speaker 1 Like somehow, I feel like she's kind of just slipped under the radar for a lot of people. But even further back, alleged messages between her and a staffer for not getting a COVID test came out.

Speaker 1 However, what is important to note is that this was not an employee acting in rebellion saying, I don't want to get tested. screw this, screw COVID protocol.

Speaker 1 No, this employee was going through a hard time. This employee's friend had just been murdered and she wasn't thinking straight.
She apologized to Katie. And yet this is how Katie came after her.

Speaker 1 Let's just read this. So Katie messages her and says, why did you not follow office protocol on testing? It's really disappointing.
This woman writes back and says, I am terribly sorry. You're right.

Speaker 1 I should have done better. Just because I felt okay in the moment doesn't mean that I was.

Speaker 1 And then Katie writes back and says, Sasha, I cannot allow you back in the office given your failure to follow office policies.

Speaker 1 Cody will be in touch about having your personal effects shipped or delivered to your home and will lay out your remote work schedule and responsibilities for your last few weeks.

Speaker 1 She says, I understand. Thank you for the last two years and all that I have learned.

Speaker 1 I hate to have disappointed you in the manner, as I know it isn't an excuse, but I had found out that my friend from the Navy had been murdered and my head was not in the best place.

Speaker 1 Not an excuse, but the reasoning for the lack of forethought. Again, I appreciate everything this office has done for me.
And then Katie responds and goes, Well, you gave me COVID.

Speaker 1 In 25 months, it took you not following the rules to get me sick. My children have no one to care for them.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 What? You hear that your employee's friend was just murdered. And even if you want to go ahead and fire her and be angry at her, you do not even have the decency to say, wow, Sasha, I am so sorry.

Speaker 1 That must be really hard. You know, this really has put me in a bind.
I need you to do all this testing. You're just going to work from home, but I am sorry for that.

Speaker 1 It isn't an excuse, but I'm sorry. That at least would have been the bare minimum.
That is the decent person thing to do, even if in your deranged state, you're going to go ahead and fire her.

Speaker 1 But no, Katie Porter cannot even be bothered to do that. Like seriously, what a peach, what a gem of a human being California has to offer.

Speaker 1 So lovely, in fact, that back in 2023, a whole article was written about her bad boss problem.

Speaker 1 But of course, and this is not surprising at all, but that politico piece had a very obvious feminist slant, and they seem to argue that people just couldn't handle working for a strong woman, a boss bitch, an opinionated woman like Katie Porter.

Speaker 1 However, they would have put up with this behavior if it was from a man. No, I am sorry.
I think people in general just don't want to work for an asshole. That goes for men and women.

Speaker 1 We have different names for those types of assholes.

Speaker 1 However, I think it goes both ways and it is not problematic to call out a woman who is being an asshole to her employees, which obviously she is in these last two stories that we've seen.

Speaker 1 Anyway, moving on from that, after those two clips that we watched came out last month, Katie was then brought back on camera and she was asked about them.

Speaker 1 And wouldn't you know, she refused to deny that there were not more of them somewhere behind the scenes. Just watch.

Speaker 11 Should California voters feel confident that there aren't any more Katie Porter videos out there?

Speaker 5 Well, what I know is that I could have done better in those moments. I'm going to be focused on earning their votes and earning their trust.
That's true in every election.

Speaker 5 I've only ever had tough elections. So I'm absolutely aware that I'm going to have to continue to show them.
I'm going to have to answer every question.

Speaker 5 I'm glad I got to continue that interview and finish that interview and answer all her questions.

Speaker 5 And that's what I'm going to continue to do, to show Californians not only that I understand their problems, but that I have the will and the strength of character to actually get something done about them.

Speaker 11 But not just the CBS interview, the interview with the staffer. Can voters be confident that there won't be another one of those videos that's going to come to light?

Speaker 5 What I do know is that I could have done better in that situation.

Speaker 11 But that's not a no. So is there potentially another video that we're going to see?

Speaker 5 Nikki, I'm going to be honest with you. I know that that video and that.

Speaker 1 Oh my God, she is not answering the question. This is like a theme with Katie.

Speaker 1 And what I know is killing her inside is that she just gave this long-winded answer being like, I am going to answer all the questions. I am going to do this.

Speaker 1 I'm so glad I had the opportunity to finish that interview. I'm going to answer all of her questions and your questions.

Speaker 1 Just not this one. And she can't outright, you know, rip off her microphone and try to walk off screen again because that would be a bad look considering.

Speaker 1 I mean, it would be a bad look in general, but especially considering the content of this interview right now, she can't do that.

Speaker 1 And you just know that as her eyebrows are sky high up in her furrowed brow, she's going, damn it, I am stuck in a bad situation because she simply cannot deny that there won't be more leaks.

Speaker 1 Somebody commented and said, there's probably more videos. Yeah, you think? I mean, this woman, her track record.

Speaker 1 Another person said, if everyone would just stay out of her effing shot, everything would be fine.

Speaker 1 Another one commented and said, I feel like she's staying in her head, ask one more follow-up question. I'm cutting a bitch.
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 But honestly, what is even more distressing than all of those clips is the fact that she doesn't just act this way in front of reporters and her staffers, it is also her family.

Speaker 1 In fact, her husband, as I mentioned in the intro, her husband alleged in their divorce filing that she had abused him as well, which yes, included dumping scalding hot potatoes on his head.

Speaker 1 And while the dumping of the scalding hot potatoes did get the most clicks, all of this is just insane. Just read this.
This is from Breitbart.

Speaker 1 Hoffman's jaw-dropping accusations include accounts of Porter allegedly causing physical harm to her arms with scratch marks so that she could blame it on him, allegedly assaulting him with scalding hot food in a whirlwind of rage and allegedly breaking a glass coffee pot while having a meltdown, which injured him.

Speaker 1 Now, he says that the potato incident happened in 2006 and asserted that while he was preparing the side dish, Porter entered the kitchen and shouted, can't you read the effing instructions in front of their son after catching a glimpse of the potatoes?

Speaker 1 She then took the ceramic bowl of steaming hot potatoes and dumped it on my head, burning my scalp, Hoffman said in the document.

Speaker 1 The alleged coffee pot incident supposedly occurred in 2012 after the couple sought out anger management courses several years earlier. Oh my God, I was right.
I wonder if they were with Randy Fine.

Speaker 1 Ha ha.

Speaker 1 Anyway, Hoffman, then a stay-at-home father, contended the porter was infuriated their home was not tidy after she returned home from work.

Speaker 1 He alleged that she broke a glass coffee pot by banging it against the counter, causing him a wound.

Speaker 1 Their children were home during the alleged ordeal as she called him, quote, incompetent and an effing slob. Now, I do not blame this man for leaving at all because this is all insane.

Speaker 1 And imagine your children seeing all of this. But for my POV, it seems like these poor children are already screwed up considering that she is constantly using them them in her political messaging.

Speaker 1 Just watch.

Speaker 10 Ms. Tunberg, I just wanted to ask you one question.

Speaker 10 I have a nine-year-old daughter. I have three kids.
And I told my nine-year-old daughter that I was going to be speaking with you.

Speaker 10 And I said, what do you think about the climate change, climate change? And she said, the earth is on fire and we're all going to die soon.

Speaker 10 And I asked her how that made her feel. And she said it made her feel angry.

Speaker 1 Okay, I have things to say, but watch this one too.

Speaker 5 So on election night, I was with, I went to pick up my daughter daughter from water polo practice, and she's 12, and she got in the car, and she was crying. And I said, did someone punch you?

Speaker 5 Like, water polo is a rough sport. I was like, did someone hit you? Did the coach yell at you? What happened? And she said,

Speaker 5 Mom, Trump won. Trump's going to win.
And what if I get raped and I need to have an abortion? This is from a 12-year-old, my 12-year-old daughter.

Speaker 5 And so it was really a reminder of how scary this time is for people and how important it is for Democrats to have strategies.

Speaker 1 Oh, yes, it is so scary that your 12-year-old daughter might not be able to kill her unborn child. I mean, what kind of mother are you?

Speaker 1 If you have instilled this kind of, you know, earth-shattering fear in your children, if this is the thing that is top of mind to them, if your children are walking around thinking that the earth is on fire and that they're going to die, or that they might not be able to kill their baby if she gets raped.

Speaker 1 I mean, what 12-year-old is thinking about rape? That is on the mother 100%. That is truly insane.
And I'm sure you guys are thinking, oh my God, this woman is just awful.

Speaker 1 She could not possibly get any worse. Well, she can.
Here is the last clip that you need to see.

Speaker 12 The allegation of groomer and pedophile, it is alleging that a person is criminal somehow and engaged in criminal acts merely because of their identity,

Speaker 12 their sexual orientation, their gender identity.

Speaker 12 So this is clearly prohibited under Twitter's content, yet you found hundreds of these posts.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry, it is not merely because of their identity or who they want to sleep with. It would actually be the age of who they want to sleep with.

Speaker 1 And if people are peddling weird sexual fetishes and kinks in front of children, I think we have a right.

Speaker 1 Actually, I think there is a necessity, it's incredibly important, that we call that out and call it what it is. But in Katie Porter's mind, oh, no, totally fine.

Speaker 1 That's just, you know, that's just their identity and we need to respect it. No, actually, we don't.
So all of this to say, it's not just Katie's personality. It's not just her contempt for voters.

Speaker 1 She genuinely does have insane views.

Speaker 1 And to make matters worse, she does seem like a combination of Madame Trunchable mixed with that football coach from Glate McBeastie, I think was his name, her name? It was a her.

Speaker 1 I mean, who would want either of those running their state?

Speaker 1 Someone posted online and said, imagine being Katie Porter and having a bedside manner so bad that the outtakes from an otherwise unremarkable interview triggered a break glass moment among Democrats to run anyone else they could find.

Speaker 1 Yes, which brings us to the other demon. I mean, sorry, Democrat, who is running for governor of California.

Speaker 1 Now, to go back to that first break-glass moment, the the unremarkable interview that became very remarkable, if you remember, in that interview, she was like, no, I'm not going to, I'm not going to be running against anybody else.

Speaker 1 There's not going to be any other Democrat that could challenge me. Oh, well, Katie, you were mistaken because you were so awful.
The Democrats were scrambling and they found somebody else.

Speaker 1 Eric Swalwell, who made the announcement last night that he too would be running for governor.

Speaker 3 What are we going to do?

Speaker 9 How do you stop this?

Speaker 7 I'll tell you what I'm going to do.

Speaker 7 I love California.

Speaker 9 It's the greatest country in the world.

Speaker 9 Country. Greatest country in the world.

Speaker 9 But that's why it pisses me off to see Californians running through the fields where they work from ICE agents or troops in our streets.

Speaker 7 It's horrifying. It's horrifying.
It's absolutely

Speaker 7 research

Speaker 7 being canceled.

Speaker 9 It's awful to look at. And our state, this great state, needs a fighter and a protector, someone who will bring prices down, lift wages up.

Speaker 9 And we can say that we're the fourth largest economy in the world, and we are, and I love to brag about that. But what does that mean if you can't afford to live here?

Speaker 9 So I've been in these fights as a city council member up in Dublin, my hometown, as a prosecutor in Oakland, and taking on the most corrupt president ever in the U.S. Congress.

Speaker 9 But I'm ready to bring this fight home. So I came here tonight, Jimmy, to tell you and your audience that I'm running to be the next governor of California.

Speaker 1 Oh, God, it's so bad. It is so...

Speaker 1 Oh my God, it's so cringe. His like scripted monologue.
I I have gone up against the most corrupt politicians. I have been a prosecutor.
He's like waiting for applause that doesn't come.

Speaker 1 He's like rehearsed this, staring in the mirror. He has like staffers in the background being like, you got to say it like this.
You got to say it like this. He goes on Jimmy Kimmel.

Speaker 1 Jimmy Kimmel's like waiting for the announcement, pretending like he doesn't know. I mean, the whole thing is so staged.

Speaker 1 Eric Swabel was trying to have his like Donald Trump 2015 coming down the escalator moment, making America great again, having this huge revolution. Buddy, that fell flat.

Speaker 1 That was unfortunately incredibly embarrassing. Now, you might watch that clip and and you're like, okay, well, what does he have to offer?

Speaker 1 Maybe he has, you know, better bedside banner than Katie Porter, but really, he says it himself, all he's here to do is fight Trump.

Speaker 7 I'm Eric Swarwell, and it's this simple. The next governor of California has two jobs.
One, keep the worst president in our history out of our homes, out of our streets, and out of our lives.

Speaker 6 Buying food at the grocery store is getting more expensive.

Speaker 7 No one will keep Californians safer than I will. No one.
Nancy Pelosi selected me for the intelligence committee and to help lead the impeachment of a corrupt president.

Speaker 7 Californians will never bend the knee. And two, bring us a new California.

Speaker 1 Okay, so it took him 30 seconds in this clip to get to making California great. The first 30 seconds were dedicated to him being endorsed by Nancy Pelosi.
That is a terrible endorsement, my friend.

Speaker 1 But the majority of those 30 seconds were spent talking about Trump, blaming Trump for all of California's problem and saying that as governor, his number one priority is to fight Donald Trump.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry, Trump is California's biggest issue, not the fact that it's been run by Democrats largely for the last 50 years. Like, dude, the call is coming from inside the house.

Speaker 1 Take a look in the mirror. Let's have some self

Speaker 1 awareness here. It's not about Trump.
I mean, California has been one of those expensive states before Trump. So I'm sorry, buddy.
I don't think he is your issue. Maybe look to your reps.

Speaker 1 Maybe look to Mr. Hair Gel salesman for an answer, but it is not Trump.
You people genuinely need to get a grip.

Speaker 1 Like if the earthquakes, if the forest fires do not take out California, I'm sorry, but I think Trump derangement syndrome just might do it.

Speaker 1 And it really does seem like everybody got frantic, like they pulled Swawell out of their ass, Dancy Pelosi was like, we have to get somebody else because Katie Porter isn't working.

Speaker 1 But it is so funny because his resume is truly remarkable. And obviously, he has a political resume, his, you know, achievements, all the things that he's done.

Speaker 1 But I want to talk about his internet resume. And one of my favorite moments was when he farted on camera.

Speaker 14 The evidence is uncontradicted that the president used taxpayer dollars to ask the Ukrainians to help him cheat an election.

Speaker 1 Okay, we need to watch that again. Just wait, guys.

Speaker 13 Just wait. Cheat an election.

Speaker 1 Like, it's not even like, it's not like a toot. That is like a full on whoopy cushion level fart.
That is like my baby first thing in the morning clenching his fists level fart.

Speaker 1 It might even be a shark. But you know what, guys? Totally fine because at least he didn't yell at anyone on camera for it.
So 10 points to Gryffindor for that one.

Speaker 1 And even though he is now a meme himself, he himself cannot seem to take a joke because here he is crashing out over a meme that the House Republicans posted.

Speaker 13 What in the hell is this?

Speaker 13 The chairman tweets, protect our ducks and kittens in Ohio because he goes some down, goes down some crazy rabbit hole, completely debunked that aliens are eating pets.

Speaker 13 My God,

Speaker 13 are Are you okay, Mr. Chairman?

Speaker 1 Oh my God. Oh my God.
Are you okay? Eric, are you okay? That was not debunked. We literally had reports of illegal immigrants, of refugees eating household pets in Ohio.

Speaker 1 Obviously, yes, that is a funny meme. Trump wants to protect them, but that was something that was actually happening.

Speaker 1 And instead of crashing out over a harmless kind of cute meme, maybe we should actually address the problem.

Speaker 1 Maybe we should figure out why that's happening and sort it out for the sake of the cats and the ducks.

Speaker 1 Anyway, moving on from that to my favorite part, obviously, the best Eric Swalwell story is that he banged a Chinese spy. Allegedly, he had a little thing thing going on with a Chinese spy, Fang Fang.

Speaker 1 So if you did not know, there was a suspected Chinese spy who was targeting California politicians, and this lady had a special interest in Swalwell.

Speaker 1 And this interest was so special and so intimate that U.S. intelligence literally believes that they had a sexual relationship.

Speaker 1 And of course, much like Katie Porter, he will not answer any questions about it and i do wonder if he has ever walked off set or screamed at a staffer after being asked so anyone somebody out there let's start leaking those clips just so californians can really see what their two options are now again unless you live in california all of this is just absurd and ridiculous and objectively very hilarious to talk about but there is a more serious issue here because between new york city and momdani and the awful california's governor's race we need to ask ourselves why this is happening like why do we have such awful awful options for candidates?

Speaker 1 Like Swawell or Katie Porter, Mom Donnie, or grandma killing alleged accused perved Cuomo. Like it is awful.
It is awful. And Americans, I'm sorry, but we deserve better.

Speaker 1 Somebody commented and said there is no monocausal explanation, but I think a major factor in why everything is so effed up these days is because there's just no incentive for good, competent people to go into politics.

Speaker 1 It sure doesn't seem like it anymore, unfortunately. Now, thankfully, there is another option for California if he can get through the primaries, and that would be the Riverside County Sheriff.

Speaker 1 His name is Chad Bianco.

Speaker 1 And if you're in California or you are just an interested party, if you want to learn more about him, he will actually be on Lara Trump's show on Fox on Saturday night, which actually will be when this episode comes out.

Speaker 1 So after you watch this episode later that evening, go see his interview if you want to learn more. And interestingly, even though it's California, right now, Chad is actually in the lead.

Speaker 1 A recent poll by UC Berkeley's Institute of Governmental Studies found that among the declared Democrats, Porter

Speaker 1 was leading at 11% of registered voters, but Sheriff Bianco was the overall leader at 13%. Those weak numbers tell us that it is wide open and it's impossible to identify a probable winner.

Speaker 1 Now, that isn't a huge edge and obviously it is still early, but that also says a lot about the state of California and the voters that are engaged and want something better for their future.

Speaker 1 Now, does Sheriff Bianco have any shot at beating Democrats to get himself into the primary once, you know, push comes to shove and the Democrat machine and the millions of dollars start flooding in?

Speaker 1 Who knows? Like, I unfortunately am a little bit jaded at this point. It unfortunately will most likely come down to the two Democrats.

Speaker 1 And per usual, rather than getting in the race right now, the GOP will throw their weight behind the lesser of two evils, which in this case would just straight up be depressing.

Speaker 1 Like the actual evil glee football coach screaming Karen or Fang Fang's farting boyfriend. Those are the options at hand.

Speaker 1 So, California, if that does not get you out to vote in the primaries, guys, I don't know what will.