Most Replayed Moment: Captivate A Room Even If You’re Shy! - Vinh Giang

You know when you're in a meeting, taking notes, trying to focus, but your devices keep pinging notifications. For me, that's really annoying.

And usually, it makes your brain start to wander away and fall into distraction.

This was happening to my producer, Jack, and we were chatting about it when I realized that I knew the exact product that would fix this problem for him. It's from our sponsor, Remarkable.

Essentially, it's a paper tablet with no notifications, so it's far less distracting than most tablets.

It's called the Remarkable Paper Pro Move, and it really does does look, feel and sound the same as writing on paper, which is really nice if you spend a lot of time taking notes.

But because it's digital, your handwritten notes can be converted into typed text and then you can send it over email or Slack or just keep editing it within the app.

All of their products have no blue light, which for someone who looks at screens as much as I do is something I really appreciate.

Remarkable is offering a 50-day trial on their products for free and at the end of that time, if it's not what you're looking for, you simply get all of your money back by sending it back.

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I was looking earlier. There's almost like a billion search results on Google for people trying to figure out or trying to provide answers to how to communicate successfully.
So let's get into it.

So I use this term vocal image. Yeah.
What does vocal image mean? It came about when I realized I spend, and I think most of us spend a lot of time on our visual image, right?

How we look, our body language, the way we dress.

But very rarely do people spend time on their vocal image. Now, I'll make it make sense.
When people see you and you reveal your visual image, they make assumptions about you pretty quickly.

So they form assumptions, oh, this person seems friendly. Maybe they're confident because they've got good posture.
Maybe they're smiling, they're friendly.

And then all of a sudden, when you open your mouth and you speak, they now turn these assumptions into beliefs.

So what may be assumptions before now? They go, oh, you are friendly. You are confident.

Or they might think, oh, no, bit of a wanker. Right? And you've had these experiences before, I've had them before, where you assume you see someone, you're, oh, the person

go and meet them. You're, ah, not really nice.
That's weird. So it's another layer that we don't think about, though, because we, again, think we're stuck with our voice.

We think we're stuck with the way we communicate. We think there's no way for me to ever change this.

So let's talk about how one can improve their vocal image so that they're effective across context. Sure.
You mentioned melody, volume, hand gestures. If we start with melody, what the hell is melody?

The different notes you can hit with your voice. Okay, so is that variety? Yeah, variety, yeah, pitch, variety, pitch, and melody.
Okay.

Well, because there's a melody that lives underneath your voice. All right, let's do an experiment.
I'm going to play you a piano song and I want you to listen to this. And then

you're at home right now. I want you to listen to the track and see what words come to mind.
So we'll just play, we'll play the song.

Okay, yeah.

All right. Sadness.
Right. So

then if listeners at home could have a voice here too, that's maybe say they would say sombre, nostalgic. Yeah.
Right. All these words would come up.

And again, if we sat with this for a while, we'd get plenty of words. Let's try another one.
So let's change the mood. Let's shift to something like this.

Inspirational, motivational. Good.
See, all of a sudden now, and I'm thinking running towards something.

And again, there's a part of me that thinks, oh, oh, cheesy commercial, right? There's that part of it too. So you can hear all these different things.
Let's try one more.

This one, we'll shift gears again. What about this one?

Like a horror movie. Scary.
About to die. Yes.
Something bad's about to happen. Omni.

three-year-old stood on the landing of the staircase at night time. Yes, with long black hair.
Yeah. Yes, correct.

So that, again, all of a sudden paints all these different vivid pictures in your head. The reason I did that experiment is

there were no words in any of those tracks. Yet, think about all of the words that rushed to your mind as you were experiencing the melody, the different notes.

What people fail to realize is that you have a melody in your voice.

This is why when some people walk into our lives,

it could drain the energy from our lives. And when they walk in, you feel the impact of them walking in, right? In the negative way or a positive way.

Some walk in and you go, oh, I feel good, I feel great. What is that? It's the melody in which they come in with.

Can you have a pretty limited range, a limited melody, but still hit people with scary and sad and inspiring? I believe you can. Yeah.
Again, because we genuinely don't have ADA keys, right?

So again, it's one of those, it's a metaphor. But I believe that we can create so many different songs with our voice if we learn to treat it as an instrument.

And we can play with the technique to help help you increase your vocal range if you want. Sure.
There's something called a this is fun. This is a fun one.
There's something called a siren technique.

Okay. Okay, so a siren technique is when you read something with a low voice and then you go towards a high voice and you go back down to a low voice.
So now I don't want you to do it to start with.

I just want you to read this as you would, and then we'll try the siren technique. So just read it as you would neutrally first.
So just read that as you would.

Okay, so for those that can't see, Vin has passed me a card. Yeah, a cue card.
And on the card, it has a bunch of words, which I'm just going to read.

And then as you're listening at home, have a guess of what movie this is is from. Want to know how I got these scars? My father was a drinker and a fiend.
And one night he goes off crazier than usual.

Mummy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn't like that, not one bit.
So me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it, turns to me and he says, why so serious, son?

Comes at me with the knife. Why so serious? He sticks the blade in my mouth.
Let's put a smile on that face. And why so serious? Beautiful.
What movie is that from? No idea. I don't want to see that.

Are you Dark Knight the Joker. Okay, well, he's ledger.
So amazing. Okay, cool, great.
So, again, you read that in your neutral voice.

Now, what we're going to do is we're going to play with the instrument. Okay.
So, the siren technique is when you read with a really low voice and then gradually you go to a high voice.

And I'm going to challenge you to not be afraid to go into the falsetto. Not be afraid to play.

So, just play.

And it's not about going low at the start and then high at the bottom. Within each sentence, I want you to go up and down, up and down.
I really want you to play with your voice.

Otherwise, I'm going to push you. Okay.
Okay. In three, two, go for it.
Want to know how I got these scars.

My father was a drinker and a fiend. Good.

And one night he goes up. I'm crazier than usual.

Mummy gets the kitchen knives to defend herself. Good.

Wow.

It hurts. Now try to go in a way where it is a little more even.
Just give it a go. But normally you won't be able to because you won't have all of the range fully expanded.
Try again. Keep going.

He doesn't like that. Not one bit.
Good.

So me watching. He takes the knife to her.
Yes. Laughing while he does it.
Good.

Turns to me and he says, Why so serious, son?

Fantastic. That's fantastic.
You did a great job, right? But you feel that feeling you feel right now. Yeah, weird.
Yes.

And it's not so much about getting you to speak like that on the podcast, but it's more just helping you realize this instrument that you have is capable of so much more. Yeah.

There is so much more that it can do as opposed to what we normally do with it. Right? Because for the longest time in my life, I didn't have any melody because I just thought this was how you talk.

And the reason I can switch to this very quickly, Stephen, is because I practiced these behaviors for about 25 years.

What's even more interesting is they've done studies where they had five or six people talking at the same time. And the person who, the person heard was the person who had more melody in their voice.

Oh, really? The person who is more melodic, what they say becomes more memorable. Whereas if all of us were speaking like this, me, yourself, Jack, everyone, all of a sudden you wouldn't hear.

You wouldn't be able to hear the difference.

Whereas all of a sudden, if you just start to play with your voice a little more.

How do you know you've not played with it too far? Do you know what I'm saying? By playing with it too far and then getting feedback. Right.
And people are so afraid of that, though.

And they don't realize that they... They don't go too far.
They underplay.

The risk is not going too far. The risk is not going far enough.
Again, at this point, when people heard me

squeaking like Mickey Mouse, they're going to say, fuck me.

You're going to have to remind me again, Vin, why this is worth it. You'll be able to make people feel more connected to you.
They'll feel what you're saying, not just hear what you're saying.

I mean, do you notice this in some people? Of course. They will say things, but you don't feel it.

It happens in America's Got Talent, Australia's Got Talent, where Simon Cowell will say, right, right, very good, but I don't feel it. What are they talking about? It's the emotion in their voice.

There is emotion in your voice, too. Do you want to go to the next one? Please.
I didn't know there was more. There's more.
Okay, there's five. Let's go through all five.
No, next one.

I'm just going to get you to read this one as you would, and then I'll tell you what it is. Okay.
Just so you don't get ahead of yourself. Okay.
Okay. Cool.

And tell me if, please tell me you know this movie. Far out, Stephen.

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want.
If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you that I don't have money. But I do have...

But what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career.
Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you.

If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you.
I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you.
I will find you and I will kill you.

Yes, very dark movies. I love these movies.
What movie is this? That is the movie called

Where his daughter gets kidnapped. What's it called? Yes.

Yes, it's

L, his name.

Lion King, I'm joking. No, what is it? Right, from Taken.
But here's the thing. So the next foundation is rate of speech.
Okay.

So, if you were reading that, and I was kind of just giving you some coaching, again, as you were reading that, think of rate of speech of having a scale of from zero to ten. Yeah.

All right, so one being painfully slow, and ten being as quick as you possibly can, right? So, you were around playing around a five, very comfortable. That's your default rate of speech.

Most of us, when we're nervous, we just have a default rate of speech. We fall victim to a default rate of speech.
When you think about rate of speech, there's a way to use it.

And the way you use rate of speech is

if you really want to highlight a point, creating an auditory highlight, slow down.

That creates an auditory highlight. It's like a highlighter with your words.
And if you want to be able to show charisma energy, you speed up. And if it's not as important, you can speed up.

That's fine. This simple rule gives you vocal variety with your rate of speech.
That simple rule. And what does changing my rate of speech then do to the message I'm communicating?

It makes it more memorable. Clear.
Okay. There's more clarity in it.
Right.

So for example, if I was speaking and I said, right now I'm going to go through the five core vocal foundations and I'm going to take you first one through is the rate of speech.

Then, after that, I'm going to talk to you about pitch and melody, and then after that, I'll talk to you about the importance of the other three.

Right now, you have no idea what is important and what is not important. Okay, right.
Whereas all of a sudden, now, if I said, I'm going to take you through the core five vocal foundations,

all of a sudden, you now have a point of focus. And the big thing that people want with their communication is clarity.

Well, if you are going to be more clear, the delivery needs to be clear so that the receiver gets what you intend. Okay.

It's not just about the exchange of information because how I say something impacts how you receive it. So I want to slow down where I want to hit emphasis.
Yes.

And this script has multiple places where you want to slow down. When people are nervous,

what happens? They speed up? They speed up. They speed up? Considerably.
Considerably.

And have they ever measured that?

Does anybody know? If you get above 210 words per minute, you're a little bit too fast. And what's the average person speaking at in terms of words per minute? Around 150.

You want to get to around 150, 180. That's very good.
That's a good kind of rate of speech to be at.

Whereas, if you're slower than that, then again, it just gets a little bit monotonous at times for people. But again,

here's what's fascinating. If I,

if all of a sudden now I stick to a default melody and then stick to a default rate of speech, notice what's happening in your brain, right?

All of a sudden, you start to, again, you'll start to switch off, right? Whereas all of a sudden, if I start to vary my rate of speech, the transition from slow to fast is what's hooking people.

So if you were to try to read that again now,

but I want you to slow, and some bits painfully slow down and play with your voice, and then some bits go quicker and then the last bit I'm gonna kill you slow it all the way down and be playful.

It's not about

Okay, I'm gonna start from here. Sure, if you're looking for a ransom

I can tell you that I don't have money

But what I do have

are a particular set of skills

skills I've acquired

over a very

long

career skip to the end.

If you let my daughter go,

that will be the end of it.

I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don't,

I will look for you.

I will

find

you

and

I

will

kill

you.

Yes, give him a big round of applause. That was amazing, right?

But again, you feel so strange when you do it. Yeah, I do.

It's so fun to listen to. And again, this is us practicing.
This is a safe environment. I'm not, don't do your next podcast like that.
But again, it just goes to show the range that we have access to.

And how it changes the message in such a profound way. It's the same words.
It's the same words. But when you read it the first time, it didn't sound scary at all.
Now I feel scared.

There's something, I noticed this in like board meetings and stuff, especially with like younger team members or people that would class themselves as being shy, that they do hurry along.

And there is a certain, someone said to me the other day that people that have the most confidence in charisma, they like move and talk as if a lot, if they were a lion. Yeah, yeah.

You know, they're slow and they're composed. Predators predator.
Yeah. I remember listening to the episode.
It was fantastic. Yeah.
There is. It's people who are confident take their time.

What's that third one? Okay.

I can just read part of it. Oh, we can read part of it.
You're more than happy to freestyle. Read part of it.
Now, if you know what you're worth, then then go out and get what you are worth.

But you have to be willing to take the hits and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you want to be because of him or her or anybody. Cowards do that.
And that ain't you.

You're better than that. Now, the thing is, this next one is volume.
Oh, shit. Yeah.

Volume is so critical. Okay.
For many different reasons. Volume is the lifeblood of your voice.

Volume carries all the other foundations you're about to learn. Volume carries the melody.
Volume carries the rate of speech. It carries everything.

And again, I think of it as having a scale of from one to 10. And a lot of the times, like what you just did, people are around at three, a four,

and they stay around there.

When you use volume, there's two ways to auditorily highlight something with volume. Volume is fascinating because with weight of speech, you slow down.

But with volume, to highlight something, you could go very quiet.

Okay. So if all of a sudden I wanted to say something scary, I could lower my volume volume and say it.
But then all of a sudden, notice what happens if I just stay here now?

What started as a great verbal highlight now just kind of seems, doesn't seem effective anymore. Because if you make something default, it becomes non-functional.

And what signals I'm not a confident person? What side of the scale?

The lower scale. Okay.
On volume. Okay.
Because that's one of the default shy behaviors that a lot of people exhibit. And what about leaders? Where do they land on the scale?

Depends if they're self-aware. Sometimes, if they're not self-aware, they can be on the higher end.
And that's, you know, you just have someone come across as a little arrogant.

Sometimes there's just too much volume. Because too much volume without the other foundations, now you come across arrogant.

So, again, if I give this back to you, and again, just for fun, like I want you to go loud. I want people to hear outside of this studio what we're doing.
Yeah, fuck.

So just have a go and just give me a whisper too. At some point, give me a whisper too.

Now, if you know what you're worth,

But you have to be willing to take the hits

and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you want to be because of him or her or anybody.

Cowards do that. And that ain't you.
Yeah. You're better than that.
Oh,

it's amazing. Yeah.
What you just did made me feel. Why did I feel? What is a voice? A voice is a series of vibrations.
So you just sent

vibrations my way that made me feel.

That's why we say people have good vibes, right? We kind of, we understand it's happening, but we don't understand at that kind of frequency level, at the vibration level.

But it's happening at a physical level

where depending on how you use your voice, you're genuinely moving people quite physically.

We did rate of speech, we did volume, we did the mentality.

And then there's two left, right? There's two left, yeah. Right.
So this one, read it as you would, parts of it. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because because it's New Year's Eve.

I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

What we're moving into now is the emotion that exists within your voice, tonality. This is the emotion that exists, right? So the way to add more emotion into your voice is to move your face.

Because as I eloquently put it at times, your face is the remote control that allows you to add emotion into your voice. So let's play, right? So now I'll give you different faces to make.

I'll tell you different faces to make, and you make those different faces and allow those emotions to come through your voice. So if it's happy, then I want you to sound really happy.

If it's sad, I want you to sound really sad. So we'll start with, and try your best to play with this.
I want you to make disgust, like just ugh, disgust, and let that come through.

And give me a more volume. Give me disgust in three, two.

And it's not because you're lonely. Yeah.

And it's not because it's New Year's Eve. Surprised.
Really surprised.

I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life. Angry.
angry, give me angry.

You want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. Happy.
Best day of your life, Stephen. You want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
That's so beautiful.

You know this already. In our brains, there's mirror neurons, right? And when I see you go through these different facial expressions, I feel what you feel.

Even though I know this is a situation we've created here for us to experiment in. It's a safe environment.
But every time you went through any of those emotions, I felt it.

Because I didn't just see it. Are men worse at this stuff? Yes, they are.
Yes, because I feel, well, for me, I can only speak personally for me, I was taught to keep my emotions on the inside.

I was taught that it's a sign of weakness to show you being sad, you being happy. You should just be

composed at all times. And then that's what I thought.
And that led me to the behavior of speaking. Whereas I would just always speak like this, because I'm a man.
And I should always speak like this.

And I still remember going to one of the concerts and my wife turns over. She goes, how do you feel? I'm like, this is a really exciting concert.

And she goes, well, okay, you obviously hate it. And I'm like, no, no, I love it.
I love it. And I just, I didn't know how to emote.

And again, I thought I was stuck like that because I was stuck like that for years. And that damaged a lot of my relationships.
Because here's the thing that I think,

and it might be helpful for you too. When you're listening to someone talk, you don't have to react with sound.
Because otherwise you'll be seen as interrupting the other person, right?

You can react with facial expressions. And that is one of the most powerful ways to show them you're listening and that you're following along.
How cool is that?

Because if someone's saying something really bad and you're like,

it shows them you're locked in. Yeah, you learn it as a podcaster.
Yeah, you do. Because the audience, they're looking at you for most of the conversation.
So 95% of the conversation is on you. Yes.

What they don't know is that throughout that time, I'm basically talking to you with my face. You are.
And you're really good at it. So if I turn my head like this, it means tell me more.

So you'll be talking, I'll go like this. Yes.
And it means tell me more. Yes.
And then it's interesting.

and you can expand that range Yeah, it doesn't just have to be curious Yeah, and cuz I see you do it.

Yeah, I see you consistently do the different faces to give me the cue to almost go oh he wants to elaborate Oh, he's in he's locked in do you know you can the thing I've learned from both speaking on stage but also doing this is you can also fuck it up you can also communicate the wrong thing.

Yes, accidentally one of them that people communicate quite often with that accidentally is they start

talking while you're speaking. Do you ever know that?

Like when someone's listening to speak, they start, they start going like this yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and it means shut the fuck up I need to I have something to say

I just did it not like that but that's that kind of

no but it's that kind of thing it's like you know I think who was on my podcast it was Vanessa she said if you do the fast nod it means shut the fuck up so if you go yeah yeah

but if you do the slow nod it means oh I love this so you if I go oh I learned something that's curiosity tell me more versus yeah

yeah and wave my hand, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so tonality, so emotion, and that was so beautiful to see you do that because it just, again, we just have such great range.

And then imagine you start to vary your rate of speech now. You vary volume, you've got different melody, you've also got different facial expressions.
This is such a rich

song that you're playing now.

What you just listened to was a most replayed moment from a previous episode. If you want to listen to that full episode, I've linked it down below.
Check the description. Thank you.

You know, when you're in a meeting, taking notes, trying to focus, but your devices keep pinging notifications. For me, that's really annoying.

And usually, it makes your brain start to wander away and fall into distraction. This was happening to my producer, Jack.

And we were chatting about it when I realized that I knew the exact product that would fix this problem for him. It's from our sponsor, Remarkable.

Essentially, it's a paper tablet with no notifications, so it's far less distracting than most tablets.

It's called the Remarkable Paper Pro Move, and it really does look, feel, and sound the same as writing on paper, which is really nice if you spend a lot of time taking notes.

But because it's digital, your handwritten notes can be converted into typed text, and then you can send it over email or Slack or just keep editing it within the app.

All of their products have no blue light, which for someone who looks at screens as much as I do, is something I really appreciate.

Remarkable is offering a 50-day trial on their products for free and at the end of that time, if it's not what you're looking for, you simply get all of your money back by sending it back.

Give the present of being present. Find the perfect distraction-free paper tablet at remarkable.com