FH Mini 134 - Wrap-Up Raps
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Transcript
Hey, it's Dan.
These pre-rolls can get boring quickly, so I'll be fast.
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That's ticks spelled TIX,
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Now, the show.
Hey, everyone, welcome to another Flophouse Mini.
As you know, the Flophouse is mostly devoted to watching bad movies and talking about them, but every other week we also do these minis, which are more just whatever we want to do.
I'm in charge this week.
This is me, Dan McCoy.
Others, introduce yourself now.
This is me, Stuart Wellington.
This is me, Elliot Kalen.
Very articulate.
So
this many.
Let me set it up thusly.
There's a music.
You started turning into Jay Leno for a moment.
You're like, oh, Malaro!
What Doritos?
Muscle cars.
There's a genre of music that I think is near and dear to our hearts.
I'm talking about...
Zyko.
I'm talking about
end credit rap songs that either partially or exhaustively summarize the plot of the movie we just saw usually found in movies of the late 80s and 90s and in uh doing the research for this i learned that this genre actually has a name it's called a wrap-up rap oh that's a great name for it oh man and that leads us to my many
wrap-up rap wrap up sponsored by bubble wrap once you pop you can't stop that's true
so because there's a curse on the bubble wrap and a demon will drag you to hell if you don't pop them all yeah
This mini is.
That was the third of the Greek guys being punished in Hades or whatever, right?
Where they're snap and crackle.
Anyway,
this mini is partly a game and partly just an excuse to talk about a few of these songs.
I've collected a few choice examples, and I'm going to read a selection of the lyrics.
When I'm done and say go.
Wait for go.
I want you guys to buzz in by saying your name, and you will get one point if you can name the movie the wrap-up rap is from,
and one point if you can name the title of the song.
And then for each of these, I also have a follow-up discussion question.
Oh, okay, great.
Essay portion, yeah.
Yeah, one, one, one disclaimer, I would like to acknowledge that a white middle-aged man reading a rap, uh, reading rap lyrics can inadvertently sound like he's making fun of rap.
uh just by virtue of how awkward it sounds.
While I am poking fun at the specific genre, which is silly, no other negativity is meant.
I just will sound like that.
I'll sound cringy because that is what happens.
But remember, buzz in with your names, but only after I say go so we can hear a good chunk of these lyrics.
Okay.
So this is...
Number one.
You're not going to do this in like a weird accent.
I'm not.
Okay.
Yeah, it's not Dracula reading raps.
If anything, I will try to make it non-rhythmic.
Yeah, as flat and Midwestern as possible.
Here we go.
Rough neck, so go check the law and abide.
Watch your step or flex and get a hole in your side.
Swallow your pride.
Don't let your lip react.
You don't want to see my hand where my hip be at.
Go.
Wait, do we...
You buzz in with your name.
Buzz Stewart.
Okay.
This has got to be, this has got to be the king of this genre.
This is Will Smith, and this is what, Wild, Wild West?
That is correct.
And the title of the song is?
Oh,
damn it.
Yeah, I don't remember why.
Buzz in.
Elliot.
Yeah, Elliot.
Is it called Wild, Wild West?
It is.
That's one point for each of you.
And many of these, yes,
the title of the song is at least slightly different, but in this case, it's the same.
Because the chorus is Wild, Wild West.
But mine isn't the Wild, Wild West.
How's the West?
It's very Wild, Wild.
How many Wilds?
There's two Wilds there.
What kind of buffalo wings do we like?
Wild, wild wings.
Hey, I got a follow-up question for this one.
Yeah, why not?
All Wild West was directed by Barry Sonnenfeld coming off the Adams family movies, Get Shorty and Men in Black, and it starred Will Smith, Kevin Klein, Salma Hayek, and Kenneth Branagh.
So why is the best thing about this song?
It's a good question.
Do you want a joke answer or a serious answer?
Whatever you got.
This is a podcast.
We just got to fill time.
I think this is one of those movies that has a big hole in its center.
And the hole in its center is that
it is
the story is not interesting and the characters are not interesting.
And it's based on a TV show that I think not, I think,
I guess a lot of people of like our parents' generation remembered it.
But certainly when it came out, I did not know it was based on a show until afterwards.
It was really, I've never seen an episode.
It's all like the fall guy guy for me.
Yes, exactly.
Also, that was like barely based on the show for me.
No, but I think it's the idea of having name recognition and then trying to play off of that when the name recognition is not there.
But also.
Should have been based on Briscoe County Jr.
Yeah, sure.
But I think also the idea that they thought, oh, it's kind of a Western comedy action thing.
We don't need any more than that, but there's just not a lot going on in it.
So you have all these talented people working on it.
They put a lot of effort into it, but there's nothing to hold it all together, as opposed to Man in Black, where that's a really well-done movie.
The Adams family movies are, of course, great, you know, and get shorty is great.
I think Westerns are kind of hard to do unless you are, you really understand what makes a Western work.
And then once you start tinkering with it too much, it can lose its center.
Yeah, I think also it would have been helped probably to have a producer who could oversee and pull these things together as opposed to John Peters, the actual producer, who was just wanting so hard to make a movie with a giant mechanical spider in it.
And I think that's what he was mainly focused on.
Yeah, he's got a real mechanical spider kink, the guy.
I love Runaway.
Okay, well, when we did Wild Wild West on the show, I would have loved it if it turned out to be like a super fun movie that just got unfairly maligned.
But watching it, you're like, oh, this is not,
it just doesn't work.
The funny stuff is not funny, and the characters are annoying.
The exciting stuff's not very exciting.
I do like a giant spider thing, but yeah.
Okay, well, let's move on to
the second
song.
Here are the lyrics.
I remember the day I needed to borrow a little of pepper for my chicken.
The next thing you know, coming at me was a hand with fingers high-stepping.
Now I tried to play it along, you know,
and act like I was having a ball.
Wait, you gotta wait for go.
Oh, sorry.
But what do I see?
A perm with feet standing about three feet tall.
Go.
Elliot, Adams Family.
Yes, and what is the name of the song?
Ooh,
is it Adams Family Rap?
No, Stu, can you uh steal this one?
I don't re like, it's yeah, I don't remember.
It's close, uh, but the song is titled Adam's Groove.
Adam's Groove.
Oh, that's what it is.
Um, now, I have the
one where they kick and they either stop a friend or slap a friend, depending on how you slap a friend.
Yeah.
Not really
a thing I associate with the Adams family, to be frank.
Maybe it's playing off of the thing being a hand.
I don't know.
Yeah, I don't see them.
I see them using violent things, like they use swords or cannons or stuff, but not so much kicking and slapping.
Yeah.
It's more of the three students.
I got a follow-up question for this.
So this is an example of a wrap-up rap that addresses the characters in the movie, but otherwise takes artistic license and doesn't stick strictly to the film's plot.
My question is...
They thought he was Fester, but he was really Chester, but it turns out at the end, he was Fester.
I don't know.
Because that's the plot of the movie, right?
Wonderful rap.
Yeah, yeah.
Great stuff.
My question is, would 1991's The Addams family have been improved by including a scene where MC Hammer dropped by to borrow some pepper for his chicken?
100%, I think.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think you're right.
Some shenanigans would happen.
Maybe there was an earlier draft of the script that they were working off.
Like somehow, like when they did used to do movie novelizations, they would be based on early drafts of the script so that the book would be ready in time with the movie.
And there'd be scenes in there that didn't make it into the movie.
Maybe there was a scene originally in the movie where a guy stops by to get pepper for a chicken and gets it was more about seasoning food.
I think
isn't there like a party scene?
Maybe he could have shown up during then
looking to borrow some pepper and he'd have been like, What?
And then he could do a song like Digital Underground where they stopped by and uh
trouble.
Trouble, yeah.
I don't remember.
Maybe I have to watch that movie again.
Probably.
Probably you should just keep that on loop.
Okay, well, that's uh and and it's a good thing that he they didn't do a rap for Adam's family values because that would just be all about uh Debbie, who's the best character.
Yeah, how sexy Debbie is.
Love her so much.
Stuart finds Debbie.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Stuart's not allowed to do that.
I would pen thousands of odes to how sexy Debbie is.
Dan, if you don't, if you're not, if you're not into Debbie, then I don't know what's going on with you.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, I understand.
I just, you know,
for once in my life, I'm less vocal with my horniness.
Okay, so this is number three.
Had them throwing a party for a bunch of children, while all the while the slime was under the building.
So they packed up their group, got a grip, came equipped, grabbed their proton packs out the back,
and they split.
Found out about Vigo, the master of evil.
That's really trying to battle my boys.
That's not legal.
Go.
Elliot.
Yes.
Okay, so that's Ghostbusters 2.
Uh-huh.
And the name of the song is
Take Control.
Is that it?
Or no, that's a different song.
No, Stuart.
You got it?
I thought it was Take Control.
I mean, they do say the words Take Control in it, but it's not the name of the song.
It's another lyric.
It is On Our Own.
On Our Own.
That makes a lot more sense.
Because Bobby Brown.
Because the big thing about that movie is how the Ghostbusters are on their own.
Yeah.
I guess.
Unlike before.
Unless the first movie went the full force of the government.
The federal government and the military, I guess.
But Bobby Brown is in the movie, right?
He plays like a doorman.
Yeah.
But he does perform in it.
Yeah.
This was before he killed Whitney Hughes.
Oh, God.
I do have a follow-up question.
How much are we going to be, how liable are we for that comment that Stuart just made?
I mean he introduced her to crack guys.
Okay.
We can litigate it off here.
Okay.
Follow-up question.
As someone who has sung this song at karaoke, I can attest to the fact that the two rap breaks in the song are just the same rap break repeated.
If Bobby Brown had written different lyrics for the second rap
break, what plot elements would you have liked to see him cover?
Statue of Liberty.
Yeah,
shooting goo guns all over the Statue of Liberty.
Yeah.
Yeah.
More focus on.
We'll get inside this lady, shoot our goo all up inside her.
That's what you mean about, right?
Baby
walking on the edge of a building.
Yeah.
Stroller on the loose.
Cars almost hit it.
Yeah.
Come on, Vigo.
Why can't you just quit it?
Oh,
love and hate when Elliot reps equally.
Then at the end, the painting turns good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Wait, does the painting?
Oh, because
it's happy.
It turns into a happy painting of all of them.
Of all of them.
Of like Sigourney Weaver and Baby Oscar and the Ghostbusters around.
But it's like, you know, a Renaissance style, you know.
Yeah.
We should get that for the studios.
If we could find it, I would love to buy that.
If that's
available, like somebody make that.
Somebody make that.
I'm sure you can get it.
Yeah, it's
a print or something.
Somebody make a print.
Or somebody make that with our heads instead of instead of the Ghostbusters on.
Yes.
Better yet.
Yeah.
Do that.
Okay.
This is number four.
After this, we're going to take a little break.
This one is a bit harder.
So I'm going to read more lyrics on this one.
So
Once upon a time, he was a super cop, but the bad guy framed him to make him stop.
They put him in prison where they tried to kill him, but he broke out.
Now he's the villain.
Bullets don't hurt him.
I know it should like jive, but we're not sure if he's dead or alive.
Set him on fire.
Shoot him with an oozy, but he'll show up in your jacuzzi.
You can run him over, you can feed him poison, push him out a window, and it only annoys him.
You better believe me if you think I'm lying.
When he shows up, people start dying.
He's out for vengeance, and he can't be stopped.
That's why they call him the
go.
Elliot.
Yes, Elliot.
Maniac cop.
That
is almost correct.
I didn't remember there being a rap for maniac cop.
Yes,
maniac cop too.
You're the advantage.
You get the advantage of the trick question.
You're right.
You're right.
Maniac cop, too.
I was like, I didn't remember there being a rap in a Maniac, but
Maniac Cop 2.
Elliot, I'll give you the chance to answer
if you know the title of this.
I think Maniac parentheses cop.
Stuart, do you want to?
I was just going to say, in modern America,
Maniac cops are regular.
This is titled,
unimaginatively titled, Maniac Cop Rap.
Oh, cool.
I should have guessed that.
I should have guessed that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hey, when you got gold, don't mess with it.
Yeah.
So,
yeah, that's from Maniac Cop 2, which leads into my following.
Back in the habit.
Yeah.
Maniac Cop 2 seems like an odd movie to have a wrap-up wrap.
What film that doesn't end with one would you want to have its own wrap-up wrap?
Oh, there's so many.
There's so many.
Wait, no.
Manchester by the Sea.
God.
Yeah, I think all of Kenneth Lonergan's movies should end with wrap-up raps.
Margaret, you can count on me.
All of them, yeah.
Even his plays, when one of his, when Lobby Hero is performed, he just has a wrap-up rap at the end.
Or the curtain call.
Just
as people are taking their bows.
Okay.
I was going to say,
on a sincere note, I think that hackers should have a wrap-up rap at the end.
Oh, that would actually, that would suit it very well.
Yeah.
Especially with all those hacker names, those would go in a wrap
acid burn or whatever they're called, you know?
Yeah.
Okay.
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And this year, the theme is Flopster Peace Theater.
We're going to go back in time.
I didn't pay for that, so I'll stop singing it.
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we always pay for I'm Blue when I sing it.
Yeah, we're going to do significant flops.
It's expensive, but it's worth it.
Decade by decade, working back from the 2000s to the 1950s.
The adventures of Pluto Nash, Jack Frost, Xanadu, Zardaz, Dr.
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I don't know whether I skipped over one or I got them all.
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But let's get
back to
the game, kind of, I guess, is what it is.
Yeah, yeah, you've been keeping score, right?
Yeah, I have actually been keeping score, even though it is all meaningless.
Everything's meaningless, Dan.
That's true.
Everything.
We're all going to be worm food.
Jackie Cation, hi, and welcome to the maximumfun.org podcast, the Jackie and Lori Show, where we talk about stand-up comedy and how much we love it and how much it enrages us.
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Let's get back to the wrap-up mini.
And I'm just going past the lyrics that I've already done to get back to...
All right, number five.
Yeah.
Here we go.
This
song goes as follows.
In a hundred years, in the darkest night, the forces of evil come out to fight.
The amulet they must destroy or spend forever in the darkest void.
Who can stop their deadly might?
Or who will stand up for the right?
From the mouths of babes comes dynamite.
Go.
Ellie.
Oh, wow.
I'm surprised.
Okay.
I don't use this right, but double dragon.
No.
Stuart.
Yeah.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3.
Oh, my God.
I can't believe it, guys.
This is, of course, from the movie The Monster Squad.
Oh.
The song is
Monster Squad rap.
Oh, okay.
I forgot there was an amulet in Monster Squad Squad.
No, how could you forget that?
It's almost a character in and of itself.
It's almost as important as The Wolf Man's Nards.
Well, it's funny that you say that, Stuart, because my follow-up question is this.
Does the wolfman have nards?
This song
to address the issue of whether or not Wolfman has nards.
What rap couplet would you add to the song to correct this issue?
Oh, wow.
We got Rapstarpeace Theater from over in L.A.
Kaitlin soon.
What are you going to do?
I say, hit Wolfman and the Nards.
It's not too hard.
Okay.
But I mean, he does have Nards.
He's a man who gets turned into a Wolfman.
Why would he not have testicles?
I mean, whether stewed.
wolves have testicles too it's not like he's i mean i could see him losing the ability to speak because a wolf's throat is not
it's a kid who says this we're not here to litigate whether it's a good question so is it a kid who's writing this rap dan no of course not yeah yeah
yeah you're saying that it's implied that the author of the rap is a grown-up and is familiar with the anatomy of a wolf man of a human man and a wolf man yeah okay
Sure, you don't want to take a crack at the.
I guess it's in the cards.
Wolfman has nards.
Yeah, there you go.
Yeah, yeah.
Kick him in the crotch.
There is in a notch.
But there is a notch.
Place.
Wait, I'm still going.
You know, they call Shakespeare the Bard in
ways that...
I love that you set it up with that
irrelevant fact without having...
A follow-up rhyme.
Well, and also, but you know what it rhymes with.
You know what Bard rhymes with.
Yeah.
If it didn't rhyme with Nard, why even bother?
Lastly,
Stewart's dead.
Lastly, I'll submit.
This is why we are not freestyle rappers.
Where's my, what, Pulitzer?
What do you get for rapping?
For rap, yeah, rap Pulitzer.
I mean, Kendrick Lamar got a Pulitzer, right?
So that's for rap now.
I would also submit
Don't Step to His Funk, kick Wolfman in the junk.
You could do that, too.
There you go.
We got there.
Took us a while.
The best, though.
Okay.
All right.
Here's number six, and a little disclaimer here.
In general, I've been trying to avoid lyrics that are total giveaways, but this song.
I mean, one of them mentioned Proton Packs, I think.
I know, but like,
I don't.
But it didn't say Ghostbusters in it.
Yeah.
This song kind of makes it impossible.
So in this case, I have replaced a couple of words with just blank.
So
it was just prime time.
I know you'll never forget what he did to the girl with the TV set.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
But you can't stop blank because he's cool as ice.
Come right back at you to slash and slice.
Like a jitsu blade or a blender, he'll blitz you.
Blank blank is putting on the writs.
Go.
Elliot.
Yeah.
Sorry, is this Nightmare on Elm Street three?
Oh, oh, Stuart, can you?
Oh, I got the number wrong.
Got the number wrong.
Four?
Yes, this is four.
Which one was Dream Master?
I thought Dream Warriors is three.
You know what?
I got it mixed up.
I thought it was Dream Warriors.
Oh, okay.
It was Dream Master.
Or the theme song for four.
Is that the three is the document one?
Elliot, you buzzed in first, though.
So maybe they did both.
Maybe they did both.
Elliot is the first to buzz in.
Can you rescue it with the name of the song?
I'm going to call it Freddy Rap.
Nope.
Stuart, do you have it?
Nightmare on My Street.
Of course.
Of course.
Guys, this is the Fat Boys.
Are You Ready for Freddy?
Oh, yeah.
I forgot.
You know what?
I forgot that that song existed, but the
minute you mentioned Fat Boys, I'm like, oh, I remember the song now.
Yeah.
And I've
three was Dockin, four was Fat Boys, and five was Steven Sondheim to the song at the end.
Yeah,
it was filled with internal rhymes.
Yeah, he did the book, but the actual performance was
come up with a joke.
Sonde would have done the music, and maybe like James Latham would have done the book.
Yeah, there you go.
Or Lapine, whatever his, however you pronounce his name.
So, yeah, that's the song was, Are You Ready for Freddy?
David Latham, who did did spare bullets jesus christ yeah yeah no no jonathan latham uh author of mutiless brooklyn among other books yeah uh
the song was are you ready for freddy i have a follow-up follow-up question yeah
are you ready for freddy
you know what i think i think i i think i kind of am like if he showed up in my dreams i'd be like calm down dog let's just hang out let's talk i the uh i have a lot of bad dreams about work so it'd be a real refreshing thing to have a bad dream about freddy because it'd be like, oh, he would be your boss in the dream.
Oh, no, he would be.
That's true.
He'd be paper.
Yeah.
But then I call human resources on him and get him fired.
Yeah, exactly.
But like, yeah, the intercom doesn't work.
See, that's horrible.
I don't remember why.
I had to, oh, so this is why.
Oh, so
I sent you guys this picture.
I was up visiting my wife's parents in Sonoma, California.
And the local newspaper, there was a letter from a Fred Krueger.
uh about something and i sent it to you guys and i was like and i was saying to my kids oh i guess freddy krueger from the nightmare and Deal Street movies.
He retired and he moved up here to Northern California.
And then my younger one, I made that mistake because my younger one was like, So, what's his deal, Freddy Krueger?
And I'm like, Oh, well, he kills teenagers in their dreams, and he's got like a sweater and a hat and a glove with blades.
He goes, Why does he kill teenagers in his dream?
Like, oh, he's mad at their parents.
And he goes, Well, why doesn't he kill the parents in their dreams?
I'm like, Oh, it's a good.
I didn't want to talk about him being a child molester, so I'm like,
Let's not worry about it.
Yeah, it's a power thing.
Yeah,
um, well,
I'm sure everyone's very curious about the game element of this.
So I want to give them a quick update that Elliot and Stewart are currently tied at three each.
So
it's anyone's game.
So let's go into song seven, the penultimate song.
Looking for the second.
That means the last one.
No, I'm just kidding.
It doesn't mean it's the second and last one.
Looking for human flesh.
to rip my teeth through.
Other fish in the sea, but barracudas ain't equal to a half-human predator created by a needle.
Jet black eyes, baby, they stare while you sleep.
When your Titanic sinks, I'm the one you're gonna meet.
Hearing terrified screams, they surround my team.
All you see is trails of blood.
Even God won't intervene.
Go.
Stuart.
Oh, man.
Deep blue sea, baby.
Damn it.
Yeah, and do you know what the song says?
Deepest bluest?
Yes, it is correct.
Deepest bluest parentheses.
I wish I had laughed at the line about even God won't intervene.
It gets so bleak there.
It does.
This whole game I've been waiting for deep blue sea to come up because I knew it was going to happen and I missed it.
I lost my moment.
Well, maybe you can get some, no, no actual points, but some, you know, like
good feeling points by answering the follow-up question, which is,
in what ways is LL Cool J's hat like a shark fin?
And be specific.
Well, it's on the top of his head.
And a shark's fin is, I guess it's on their back.
It's more on the back, right?
Yeah.
Is it like, is his hat like, is he like going through a crowd and like his hat is hat's the only thing visible on the tip?
Maybe.
It's a pretty like, it's like a skull cap kind of hat.
It doesn't, it doesn't peak that much, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe he has a poor perception of what his hat looks like.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm hearing a lot of reasons why the hat is not like a shark's fin.
I feel like we're not answering the question properly.
He uses it sort of like, you know, as a stabilizer.
I mean, maybe he, maybe he thinks he looks like a dolphin when he wears a similar hat because sharks and dolphins have similar fins.
That's not like a shark's fin, though.
It's like a dolphin's fin.
But their fins are very similar.
They're both dorsal fins.
It's convergent evolution.
They're made of general body shape.
I think it's based on color and maybe texture, but I would have to see the hat in it as black.
I mean, I guess some sharks are pretty dark, but most of the time.
Does the hat replace its teeth whenever it loses them?
Dan, he asked you a question about the hat.
I don't think a shark
replaces the teeth, though.
Like a shark replaces its teeth.
I'm just trying to say that.
Do people make soup out of LL Cool J's hats for that much?
Is they catch L.L.
Cool J, they remove the hat, throw the rest of him back in the ocean to bleed to death, and then they make soup out of the hat
at weddings.
Before we get to eight, I want to apologize to Stuart.
Psycho Gore Man, of course, has a rap like this
shit.
At the end of the, I was going to put it in at the end as a bonus, but no one on the internet has seen fit to transcribe those lyrics, and I was too lazy to do it.
So someone get on that.
I was going to say that is a laziness issue because you could have done that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So his name is PG or something like that.
PG Woodhouse.
Yeah.
PG.
Yeah.
PG.
What?
Yeah.
Psycho Goreman Woodhouse.
No, I'm saying the name of the song.
So
look it up.
It's a funny video.
But it is, but that is what it stood for, right?
Psycho Gore Man Woodhouse.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So Wodehouse.
I've been saying Wodehouse this whole time.
No, no, it's Roadhouse.
PG Roadhouse.
Be nice.
That's what they always say.
The thing is, Roadhouse is not rated PG.
I'm thinking of like a version of this where Dalton has a gentleman's gentleman who actually solves the problem of Ben Gazara for him.
Birdie Wooster is the bouncer, but Jeeves is the one who's always doing the the actual fighting.
Yeah.
So that's a little
hint.
The last one is not psychographic.
Okay, good.
So I don't spend the whole time trying to get it.
But is it the rap that's at the end of Jeeves and Wooster?
Yeah.
His name is.
Can you believe this guy named Jeeves solves all the problems for his man?
Like these.
Okay, well, here we go.
Last song.
It goes like this.
Well, excuse me, copper, Mr.
Crime Stopper.
What is wrong with what we're doing?
We just like to dance in our goatskin pants around this ancient ruin.
Now, it's not so funny that it costs big money if you ever have to hire a lawyer.
It's my duty to inform you and my pleasure to warn you.
We'll provide one for you.
Go.
Big goatskin pants hint in there.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, man.
Excuse me, copper, Mr.
Crime Stopper.
I mean, all I'm thinking of is
what's it?
Is The Wicker Man, but there's no rhyme.
There's no rhyme at the end of the Wicker Man, right?
It's like the Dragnet movie or something.
You know what?
I'll say it, Elliot, the Wicker Man remake.
No, it's not that, Stuart.
Do you want to buzz in?
I don't think I'm anywhere close.
Yeah, I'll buzz in.
Was this?
Oh, man.
No, I know this one.
Terms of Endearment.
Guys, you should have gone with your gut there, Story.
It's Dragnet.
Well, Dragnet.
Okay, so can I buzz in Elliot for the title?
Yes.
City of Crime.
It is City of Crime from Dragnet.
My follow-up question.
I didn't remember the goatskin pants, but it's been a long time since I saw Dragnet.
If you'll recall, Dabney Coleman, the pornographer, runs a...
cult of some kind or right or he's associated with it I don't know whether he actually runs it or like he gets kidnapped as part of it.
I don't know.
I think it's actually maybe the moral majority people who are behind it.
I don't know.
They wear goatskin pants.
That's all.
Most likely all have to watch Dragnet again.
No.
Hear about the adventures of Peps Tree Back and
Sergeant Joe Friday.
Follow-up question.
Tom Hanks and Dan Aykroyd's dancing in the city of Crime video was choreographed by Paula Abdul.
On a scale of 0 to 10 MC Scat Cats, how well do you think they did?
Are we handicapping them at all?
Because they don't have the
natural
dancers.
They are performers, you know, and
they should have used their little body.
Danced a little in
Blues Brothers.
Tom Daniels.
And he danced a little bit in Nothing But Trouble when he was sitting in that chair dancing along.
And in the Ghostbusters music video,
they're kind of like, you know, strutting down the street.
I would say...
And in the opening credits of the Real Ghostbusters animated show, they're dancing down the street before Slimer slimes the ground underneath them and they fall.
That's what you're saying.
That definitely applies to the real life Jane's dancing ability.
I would say I'm going to give him a 10 out of 10.
Okay.
I was going to give them an 8, which was solid, but limited.
But 10?
Okay, great.
Yeah, let's go with that.
Interesting.
I can't believe I
guessed Dragnet.
And then doubted myself because I've never seen the movie.
You've never seen it?
No.
Dan,
don't act like it's crazy that he's never seen Dragnet.
I mean, it's kind of crazy just because of our age.
Like that movie was on TV.
It was on TV all the time.
That's true.
Yeah, I was like reading books and stuff.
When you're reading books about Dragnet.
Yeah.
It was often played on WPIX New York's movie station.
You know what I'll say about that movie?
Go on.
It's fine.
You'll get a little bit of enjoyment out of Dragnet.
Dan Aykroyd does a funny Joe Friday fast-talking guy.
Tom Hanks is Tom Hanks.
He's lovable.
I mean, it plays into their strengths.
It's silly.
I think they made the right choice by doing a comedy of it and not doing a straightforward gritty Dragnet.
Although they did do a Gritty Dragnet show years later with Ed O'Neill, right?
I don't know, but I will say this.
Stuart, even though you've beaten yourself up for your cultural oversight,
you still have five points to Elliot's four points
Making you the wrap-up rap champion for 2020.
Elliot, can you give me a little wrap-up rap for my victory in this game?
Oh, please don't.
And let's see.
Stu is the winner.
My name is Stu, and I'm here to say I win these games every day.
Stu is the winner.
Elliot's the winner.
Good at Drowned Sorrows in the chicken dinner.
Yeah, Stu, I'll give you Stu what to do.
So your name is Stu, and you're here to say you won the game in a major way.
yep.
Uh, and then Elliot stinks every way.
Oh,
there's a long kazoo break.
Um, okay, good job.
And Dan has his spoken word part.
You know, baby, you know, Stuart's the winner.
Elliot didn't get as many points.
That's the way it goes sometimes.
Forget both of them.
Come here with me.
Wow, a heel turn for my height man over here.
I'm just, you know, playing into the sensual sounds here.
I love it.
Anyway,
well, thank you for taking part in that nonsense.
And thank you, the listener, for taking part in that nonsense by listening to it.
And if you want to listen to more nonsense, go over to maximumfun.org, listen to some of the other nonsense shows.
You're going to put all those raps on a special Spotify playlist that's available.
You should.
Yeah.
Maybe we'll see if I remember or have the link in the middle of the guy who was too lazy to transcribe the rep.
Although I did spend multiple hours writing these things.
So for the, anyway,
I don't need to justify myself to you guys.
You worked real hard.
Do we pay you on an hourly basis?
Like, what's going on?
You're establishing your time card here?
I just, you know, I have a lot of internalized shame.
Okay.
Thank you to Alex Smith, our producer.
He goes by the name Howell Dotty, all over the internet.
You can find him on Twitch.
You can find his music at various places.
Check him out.
But
thank you for being here for this episode of The Flophouse.
I've been Dan McCoy, these have been my co-hosts, Stuart Wellington and Elliot Kalen.
Yep.
Till next time.
The Yep Twins, we call them.
Until next time,
see you later.
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