FH Mini 129 - When Animals Compete

Hey, everybody.

This is Stuart Wellington of the Flop House Podcast, and I'm here to welcome you to another Flop House Mini.

Now, the Flop House is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and talk about it, but on the mini episodes, we do other stuff.

But before I get into what we're going to be talking about today, let's introduce the hosts.

I'm one of them.

My name is Stuart Wellington, and joining me are another of them, Dan McCoy.

And the third and final of them, Elliot Kalen.

The absolute final.

So

be a mega.

Yeah.

So, guys, inspired by a recent flophouse movie, Better Man,

I thought it would be fun for us to explore some of our favorite animals of movie dumb.

Okay.

See, animals are a huge part of movies.

Animal characters, animal performers.

Once a whole

animals.

Once an entire house made of animals.

Yeah.

So,

how much better though would that movie be if it was about a house made out of Yeah, but I mean, like the building authority.

It's my favorite comedy, Elliot.

Why don't you find people for that one?

Not a good way to Animal House.

Is I mean,

I'm sure people disagree with me in some ways about this.

Animal House for me has always been right up there with Caddyshack, one of these movies where everyone's like, Isn't this the funniest movie of all time?

And I'm like, I just don't like it.

It's just not for me.

So there's a lot in it that I have come to

realize the problems of.

But when I first saw it, I found it a lot funnier than Caddyshack.

I will will make a mild argument that I think that the people who are assholes in Animal House, aka everyone, basically.

Like, we're not supposed to necessarily think that the bad, the slop house is any better than the snobby house.

I mean, it's called Animal House because they're acting like animals.

Like, they're not, yeah, it's not a, but

there's also stuff in it that did not age.

Anyway, oh, sorry, are we are we interrupting a mini or something, Stuart?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I want to talk about Animal House.

Um, no, please, interrupt away.

that's what the flop house is a digression engine um so what we're doing that sounds like that that sounds like a good a good either science fiction action movie or spy movie digression engine

so we uh we're going to be talking about different um animal characters from filmed them broken them down into general categories okay and what i'm going to do is present a category i'm going to list some famous examples of them and then we're each going to take time explaining who our favorite what our uh are our favorite, what we think the best is, the perfect, whatever.

We're going to make a case for it.

Okay.

We're going to argue.

Okay.

There's six categories.

So we're going to do the first category.

And obviously,

if I don't list your favorite, you can go off my recommendation.

You don't have to use my recommendation.

Oh, you can go off menu.

Okay, great.

We can go off menu.

We're going to start with the

biggest one.

Okay.

This is arguably you got to start with a hot one.

We are starting with the canine category.

That's right.

Mostly dog.

You mean biggest, like most popular?

There are bigger animals, yeah.

Except for Clifford, I guess.

Yep, except for Clifford.

Oh, I should have written Clifford down.

Off menu.

Not Martin Short.

Okay.

Martin Short's not a dog.

Not a dog.

No.

Okay.

So that some perfect examples.

Perfect examples are Airbud, Beethoven from the Beethoven franchise.

Oh.

Not Beethoven from Immortal Beloved.

Okay, yeah.

Nope.

Toto.

Not the band.

No, not the band.

I know.

I saw you jumping at it.

Yeah, I just saw it from the Dune soundtrack.

Oh, okay.

Marley from Marley and me.

Lassie.

Hooch from Turner and Hooch.

You had hooches on there.

I was like, this motherfucker doesn't get to.

Yep.

And

though this isn't the name of the character, I'm going to say that dog that was in both Widows and Game Night.

That was a good year for that one dog.

That little like white fluffy dog that played Jesse Plummins and Viola Davis' dog.

Yeah.

You know what I'm talking about?

That was that one year when Helen Hunt was in every movie, but for that dog.

Yeah, that dog was in every movie.

You don't remember that dog, Dan?

The one that Jason Bateman bleeds all over and Brian Tyree Henry threatens.

I mean, in my head, I'm seeing a dog now, but it's maybe just because you described a type of dog, and now I'm plugging that into

an invented memory of Jason.

So it's weird, Dan, that then you would say that it was your favorite dog since you don't really remember it at all.

No.

Okay, so do you guys have any favorites of these dogs that I've listed?

Who's the ultimate dog?

Speaking of professional dogs, I am fond of the dog whose real name in real life is Mushroom, who played the dog in both Gremlins and Pumpkinhead.

Yeah.

Awesome.

A top dog actor.

Not top dog.

Nope.

It's a different dog.

But one of the top dogs.

Do you have a favorite dog character, Elliot?

Favorite dog character, yes, because multiple dogs played this dog.

But in the Thin Man movies, of course, there's Asta, the wire-haired terrier, I believe, who is, he, he's a member of the family.

He has a couple of fun, he's one of the few dogs who does comedy reactions to things that I actually find funny, especially at the very end when he covers his eyes when Myrna Loy and William Powell are just banging on that train.

You know, the that's, I love that dog.

So that's a great dog.

I mean, and some of that sure is residual love for that movie, The Thin Man.

But, you know, it's one of those things where it's like, if this is the dog that's cool enough to be in The Thin Man, this is a cool dog.

You know, you know it.

So, but he's a dog.

Yeah, that's a cool dog.

I mean, I'm going to say, like, it's really hard to top air, but I mean, that's a dog that plays basketball and other sports, guys.

I know, I feel like he's a pretty impressive dog.

I feel like setting the precedent that if it's not explicitly spelled out in the rule book, then anything goes, I think, has had negative effects on the country ever since Airbud.

And that's not Airbud's fault.

Obviously, he didn't intend that, but it's hard for me not to

look at the domino effect of the Airbud series.

Yeah.

So, you're saying there's something about seeing a dog winning that much

has caused some negative, has caused some toxicity amongst a certain type of person who might be foiled by a dog like that.

Exactly.

Yes.

I think Ellie is saying that Airbud is a stress test for

sports and then as an extension in American democracy.

I'm saying if the sports referee system cannot keep an animal out of a human sport, and I'm not saying all humans should be able to play sports.

I have no problem with different kinds of humans playing sports.

But the idea of, let's say, a dog or a muskrat or an alligator or, I mean, then you get the TV show Man versus Beast, where you have people in a tug of war with I think an elephant that's not fair elephants are enormous you know so

and eventually you get to the point where anything goes and we're in a war of all against all and the basic idea of a community has has you know fabric has disintegrated in one of my previous uh uh

newsletters i did a comic where there's like a hawk taking off airbud like stealing airbud from the the court and it said nothing in a rule book says that a hawk can't uh take the dog i forget what the wording was but it's like the problem with the airbud doctrine is that it leads to this kind of, you know, arms race of animal.

There's literally nothing in the basketball rulebook that says you cannot garot the players of the opposing team because they felt they didn't need to put that in there.

But it's not in the rulebook.

It's just a norm is the thing.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Yeah, just putting norm on there.

Just putting just norm from cheers

on the field.

There's nothing in the rule book that says that norm can't take over.

It's an all-norm team.

Norm from cheers that Gnome named Gnorm.

Other Other norms?

Do you have any other norms to name or only?

I think there's a super called normal man, you know, that should that could be norm.

I don't have any other norms.

Now, I do like,

I listed Beethoven from the Beethoven franchise.

I have to say, I'm a big fan of Charles Groden getting a fat paycheck.

That's not the dog.

Yeah, that's something I didn't make that decision.

Did you guys ever see Marley in me?

And also, if you want Charles Groden to get a fat paycheck, then maybe Clifford with Martin Short is the Clifford you should have on that list.

I didn't see Marley in me.

It was a huge financial windfall for him.

To me, that so there's a genre of movie that I think we could call sort of dog tearjerker, where like it's Clifford,

yeah, the dog's gonna die.

So I shouldn't just shorten it to dog jerker, right?

It's a different job.

That's a job?

Yeah.

For some people.

I mean, if you love what you do,

then you don't work a day in your life, but you do jerk a day in your life.

Yeah.

So Dan, continue.

But I'm I'm not necessarily seeking out a movie where it's just like, I know I'm going to be sad because this dog is going to die at some point.

Like, now I said

spoiler free.

Spoiler.

You're not a spoiler.

Spoiler, skip ahead.

If you don't want a spoiler for a random movie that you won't know, what is the movie?

Random stuff with Mel Gibson, where a dog does get shot.

Yes.

But, you know, I was excited to see Hooch.

Oh, no, I'm sorry.

It was not, what's the one with Mel Gibson where he's, where it's the remake of Point Barker?

Barker?

The payback is.

Yeah, yeah.

Payback.

That's what I'm thinking.

I I was excited to see Hooch on that list.

Hooch does get killed, saving Tom Hanks at the end of Turner and Hooch.

I mean, if a dog's going to save a human being, I feel like Tom Hanks is not the worst.

Well, it's like Asimov's three rules of rodogics, that a dog has to protect itself, but a dog has to,

a dog cannot allow a human to come to harm.

A dog must obey all orders unless it conflicts with rule number one of rodogics.

And a dog must protect himself unless it conflicts with the previous two rules.

That's Isaac Asadog's rules of rodogics.

That's from i dog dog

dog.

I just

know why you have to,

but like I didn't walk into that movie thinking, like, oh, this dog's gonna bite it at the end.

It'll just look like a fun movie about a dog cop.

You thought it was just a fun movie about a dog that drinks beer.

Yeah, now also I just need both.

Spuzz McKinsey.

Before anybody, Dan, I've got some bad news about Spuzz McKinsey.

Died in a tragic surfing accident.

Really?

Yeah, yeah.

Was it tragic or kind of funny no you're right it was one of those surfing accidents where a dog dies but it's funny stuart yeah you're right

okay so these are some strong arguments uh anybody anybody have some final final statements here i will say stuart if i was sticking to the menu you've provided beethoven would have been my choice as well beethoven's pretty good he slobbers like a he slobbers like crazy right he's a big slobbery dog if if i'm watching a movie I'd rather see a big slobbery dog than a little yappy dog.

Yeah, that's why I didn't put Beverly Hills Chihuahua on this list because I felt like it was a real outlier, and I'd be surprised if anyone makes

it.

I mean,

the thing about

mushroom in Gremlins, I can't remember the actual character's name, but

Kate?

Yeah.

Billy.

Maybe Kate's.

Mr.

Futurman.

Stripe.

But, you know, Dante always talks about how like...

Dante the poet?

Yes, Dante the Poet.

Joe Dante always talks about how great

that dog is because it reacted to the gremlins and to the Magwai as if they were actual animals.

He's great.

That dog is great in that movie.

Yeah.

Reaction.

Now, I actually didn't put any animated dogs in those lists.

Are there any animated dogs that might have a chance at the crown?

There's all of the ones that go to heaven.

That's true.

Yeah, yeah.

Balto, yeah.

Yeah, Balto certainly went to heaven.

Yeah, after what he did.

He's a good dog.

There's

Nanny from Peter Pan, right?

Yep.

Which, as a kid, I always was confused about whether that dog was actually their nanny

yeah

there's the tramp and also lady

and also that you know the star is that scottish dog that's the star of a wiser dog in the prison who sings about fucking tramp

yeah

i feel like i feel like we've made a strong case for some of these dogs obviously listeners if you uh take issue with any of these rankings feel free to i don't know comment on our social media posts yeah write in write in give us a nice review yeah please give us a nice review So we're on to our next category.

This is the equine category.

Horses, baby.

Movie horses.

Here's the museum.

If there's any other animal that people feel a connection to besides dogs, it is horses.

Horses.

Okay.

So we have Artex from Neverending Story.

Sea Biscuit.

I think I know somebody is a fan.

Secretariat.

Spirit, the stallion of the Cimarron.

Hidalgo, and Shadowfax.

Wait, wait, I recognize that name, but where's Shadowfax from?

I don't know.

Oh, it is the steed of one Gandalf the White.

Oh, okay.

Oh, okay.

So, not a major character.

That's the what?

Why does that horse get special private plays?

Because it's dope as hell, dude.

The steward is the one running the mini.

But there's other horses, though.

Like, why is that the only one?

The great thing is that now's your turn to make a case for a different horse.

Are you going to say trigger?

I don't.

I mean, like, I don't.

Do you you have a personal favorite horse?

Yeah, what's your favorite horse, Dan?

Even though the Black Stallion is the world's most popular horse.

That's true.

I don't know.

What does he sound like, Dan, if he was here?

Well, hey, me sleep is good.

I just stopped by.

I heard people talking my name, but I got to go.

That horse moves so fast, he never sticks around.

He never sticks around.

That's the thing.

I was going to say Artech Stewart.

That was the thing.

Like, that horse is the soul of that movie until he

sinks into the despair swamp or whatever.

Spoilers, yeah.

Yeah, spoiler.

He just gives up, you know?

He just gives up.

That's what's so sad about it because he's so full of spirit.

He's the spirit of the Cimarrone, you know?

Yeah, what a crusher of a moment in this movie, right?

Yeah.

There's that war horse.

People likes that.

Yeah, you like war horse?

I didn't see it.

Now,

now, does the strider that they ride in the dark crystal count as a horse?

It's not technically a horse, but they ride it like a horse.

I mean, that's pretty cool.

That's a cool argument.

Do we want to expose?

Do you want to allow it, Dan?

What?

Sorry, I can't explain it to horses.

Are you trying to list the leads from the movie Thoroughbreds?

Is a Pegasus a horse?

We'll call it a horse, yeah.

Yeah, sure.

Because I like that horse from, what do you call it?

Percy Jacksons?

Oh, Clash of the Titans.

Yeah.

Yeah,

from the TriStar logo?

I mean, that's a pretty popular horse.

Any other, we got Artex.

Obviously, Shadow Fax.

That's a powerful horse.

If it wasn't for that, Gandalf couldn't be all over the place.

He'd have to ride an eagle or something stupid.

Riding Shadow Facts.

Yeah, it's way stupid to ride an eagle than to ride a horse.

Yeah, sure.

Oh, man.

He's so, it's so cool.

Does that horse that gets whispered to have a name?

No.

That's why they have to whisper to it.

They don't embarrass it by not by not having a name.

Any other final horse?

It's funny.

I love,

I've watched so many Westerns in my life, and yet it's usually the horses are not treated as full characters.

They're just kind of like treated like vehicles that you can pick up or drop off.

But you'd think there would be more Westerns where there's a much stronger relationship with the horse specifically than the movie.

Yeah.

I mean, I'm sure there are some, but there's not as many as you think.

Radio and TV more than the movie that everyone did not care for, but like Silver obviously is the one that comes to mind in terms of like Western horses, the Lone Ranger's horse.

You were going to say the horse from Hot to Trot with Bobcat Goldthwaite.

I was going to say that horse.

That's my favorite horse.

Any horse that's hot to trot.

That kind of horse.

My favorite.

Either that horse or when his dad, who is a horse, comes back reincarnated as a horse fly.

You know, that's also, you know.

Does that happen?

Yeah.

In Hot to Trot?

Yeah.

Do I have to watch Hot to Trot again?

No, you don't have to watch Hot to Trot.

Yeah, yes.

Yeah, the government says you have to watch Hot to Trot now.

Yeah.

Oh, that's if you don't have to.

I say you.

I thought you were going to say it was the Supreme Court, Dan.

In the end, Roberts sided with the conservatives that said, you do have to watch Hot to Trot again.

Yeah, yeah.

I can't wait to read the dissent.

They say they're for small government, but they're making me watch Hot to Trod again.

Yeah, it feels like, I think you're right.

Like, when I was putting this category together, I was like, I feel like horses are such a natural, like, horses are such a big part of movies for such a long time that there would have been a ton of ones that jumped out to me, but there kind of aren't.

No,

they're treated as props more than as characters a lot of the time.

And I wonder if that's because there's a feeling, I think that by by the time movies were being made, this is a theory I'm making up off the top of my head, most moviegoers did not have close relationships with horses the way that they might to a pet, you know, a dog or a cat or something like that.

Whereas in earlier times, I think people would have had a much, much closer relationship to a horse.

You would have, I mean, like by the time movies are being shown in cities, there's fewer and fewer horses in cities, you know, and stuff like that.

So if you're making a lot of movies set on the mean streets in New York, there's not going to be a lot of horses there.

And if you're making a lot of movies set in,

you know,

what's a famously horseless city?

Like a city that banned horses.

Are there any banners?

Venice?

Tokyo.

If you're making movies in Tokyo or Venice, you're not going to have a lot of horses there.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Curazon.

Can't put a horse there.

No horses.

Okay, so we're going to move on to the next category.

This is the rodent category.

Mice, rats, etc.

Cappy Barras, sure.

Yeah, you got things like Stuart Little things.

Characters like Stuart Little.

Okay.

Five Ole Mauskowitz,

Remy from Ratatouille,

Socrates from Willard,

Ben from Ben,

and a personal favorite, Mrs.

Brisbee from Secret of Nim.

Mrs.

Frisbee.

Well, Frisbee in the book.

Frisbee in the book.

Oh, it's Brisbee in the movie.

I didn't even know that.

That's because of Frisbee the Flying Disc.

Yeah.

I didn't know it was that popular.

I know the book so much better than the movie.

Yeah, I was going to be mad if Brisby wasn't on there because that's a hot mouse.

I had kind of a crush on Mrs.

Brisby as a kid.

I watched it.

Did you have more of a crush on Mrs.

Brisby or on Gadget from Rescue Rangers?

Good call.

Brisbane from me.

I mean, I think ultimately.

She's a single mom, dude.

Gadget.

But it's a MILF.

A mouse I'd like to eat better.

Yeah.

Brisbane was a formative, confusing cartoon crush.

And I have to go with Mrs.

Brisby.

But, you know, she shows so much heart through that movie.

And it's ultimately the power of her heart that saves her family.

Yeah.

It's a dope movie.

Yeah.

Beautiful.

Beautiful film.

Yeah, I was glad you put Feival on there.

Again, that's my family's story.

That's my ancestors' story.

So, you know, I've got to stand up for Feival, you know, that we came to this country from another country seeking safety, and then we went out west.

Yeah, eventually we went west.

I don't think so.

Yeah, my family went as west as

northern New Jersey.

I never saw Fival Goes West.

Is this?

Fival Goes West is a pretty bonkers movie in some ways.

It's much less of a tightly told story than an American tale.

Okay.

So, what?

It's just like an anthology story of Western stories that's Buster Scruggs.

Yeah, but they're all mice.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I mean, I feel like Mrs.

Brisby is an obvious one.

I think all those characters are great.

Remy's great.

Yeah.

Remy's great.

I mean, who, like, I feel like.

Five little is a sweet little guy, you know.

Remy is like, I feel like Rata 2e is such a, it was such a high point for Pixar.

I don't know.

I mean, they've had a lot of high points, but that's a particularly.

They've had an enormous number of high points, but that one, that one is, yeah.

I mean, I think it's weird that that's one of the few.

I mean, they, I guess there's a few that they haven't done sequels of, but I don't think they've ever even talked about doing like a Rata 2e or something like that.

And that's like, it's right there, right?

They're leaving money on the table.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The title.

The title allows for it.

So obviously the plot can follow.

I mean, it's because they haven't taken a meeting with Jim Cameron yet.

It should be

two or little also.

Now, Stuart Little, he has a human mom, though, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, he's not necessarily a mouse so much as

a boy that takes mouse quality.

So, do you think when he was born, he was born like a real pinky, like a real mouse, all like kind of mushy and hairless and kind of like blind?

Or do you think he came out looking like Stuart Little?

Well, like furry, like a mouse, or like a pinky.

I mean, most human babies also come out kind of mushy and pinky.

That's true.

That's true.

Very few of them come out fully grown.

You're Benjamin Buttons and what have you.

Now, when

Elliot, of the three of us, Elliot, you have children.

Were you ever nervous that your child was going to come out like

a little Stuart Little?

Yeah, like a mouse.

I did once have a nightmare before my first son was born that my wife gave birth to like...

Something that looks like a, when a, when a kangaroo or koala gives birth and it's like not fully formed yet.

And it's kind of like all weird and mushy and veiny and very tiny.

And in the dream, I had to carry it around in a styrofoam coffee cup because it was so frail and its skin was so sensitive that like I couldn't even hold it in my hand.

I should have been watching Eraser Head the night before.

I mean, not the night before, but certainly.

This feels like a very good short Charles Burns comic.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, you're right.

So if Chuck Burns is listening, you know, feel free to use it, you know?

Yeah.

Okay, so I think we've got some good stuff here.

Obviously, write in if you have critiques we're at the halfway point before we cut to a brief message we have one more this is a unrelated question but what is you got to make a case for what is the cutest baby animal cutest baby animal i'm going to go first uh i think it is without a doubt baby elephants baby elephants are the cutest

cutest little old men with very sad eyes and they're a little bit like they're a little bit fuzzy i will say in my house i wouldn't necessarily have thought this earlier but my younger son is obsessed with tapiers so in my house we watch a lot of footage of baby tapiers and they have a different coat pattern i'm assuming on like youtube or something not like

is there a like a channel that shows baby tapir content there are a number of zoos that have baby tapiers that like on their instagram feed they'll put out cool tapier footage you know um but and baby tapiers are very cute they got that little nose you know they have to learn how to swim at one point they got spots and stripes on their coats they're very cute but also cute but also baby turtles super cute.

When they hatch and you're walking down the beach, and you just, you're like, oh, it's too bad that half of them are going to get eaten by seagulls because they're so cute.

Yeah.

Or when like a turtle gets a hold of a strawberry, Jesus Christ, they go ape shit.

I won't like anything as much as a turtle likes a strawberry.

Yeah, yeah.

Dan, what about you?

It's hard to say.

I, you know,

it's probably just because they look so much like humans, but baby apes are pretty cute.

Yeah, baby chimps are very cute.

Yeah.

I also am very fond of them.

They can use weapons.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I saw a movie about it.

Yeah.

I just like mammals of this kind of like general like size and type.

But like baby foxes are

a fave of mine.

I could see that.

Yeah.

I love it.

Okay.

Hey, Sydney, you're a physician and the co-host of Sawbones, a marital tour of misguided medicine, right?

That's true, Justin.

Is it true that our medical history podcast is just as good as a visit to your primary care physician?

No, Justin, that is absolutely not true.

However, our podcast is funny and interesting and a great way to learn about the medical misdeeds of the past, as well as some current, not so legit, healthcare fads.

So you're saying that by listening to our podcast, people will feel better.

Sure.

And isn't that the same reason that you go to the doctor?

Well, you could say that.

And our podcast is free?

Yes, it is free.

You heard it here first, folks.

Sawbones, Merrill Turbo, Misguided Medicine right here on maximum fund, just as good as going to the doctor.

No, no, no.

Still not just as good as going to the doctor, but but pretty good.

It's up there.

My name is Jordan Cruciola and I love movies.

But you know what I might love even more?

Talking about movies.

The directors, actors, and writers that join me every week on Feeling Scene love to talk about movies too.

Like our recent co-host, the writer and director Justin Simeon.

And I love the premise of your show, Feeling Seen.

I think that's kind of always my goal when I'm making something.

Nothing touches my heart more than when someone comes out of my movie and says, oh my god, I never thought I would see myself.

So hang out with us and geek out about watching movies, making movies, and the ways the movies we love speak to us directly.

You might just start asking folks around you, hey, what movie character made you feel seen?

We're doing it every week at maximumfun.org.

So we got a little message.

This is a cho-cho-ja jumbotron.

The long-running horror film podcast, Horror Show Hot Dog, is launching the Minnesota Genre Film Exposition and is now accepting short and feature-length film submissions.

The MNGFE will take place October 3rd through 5th, 2025, in Roseville, Minnesota, with a submission deadline of July 31st.

So, filmmakers, visit filmfreeway.com/slash the Minnesota Genre Film Exposition to submit your film by July 31st.

I could go for a horror show hot dog right about now.

Okay, well, after the show, speaking of hot dogs, let's get to talk more about these cool animals of the movies.

I feel like a hot dog is the opposite of a cool animal.

The hotmate in the name.

Good point.

It depends.

Sometimes you just eat them right out of the fridge, right?

You do.

Snacking dogs.

You guys don't have snack and dogs in your house?

Okay, well, that's fine.

Okay, so the next category is the primate category.

This is maybe this directly inspired by Betterman.

That would cover monkeys and apes, things like Amy from Congo,

Bonzo from Bedtime for Bonzo,

Caesar from Planet of the Apes, Clyde from Every Which Way But Loose and Any Which Way You Can, Gordy from Nope, King Kong, King Louie,

or Mighty Joe Young.

Favorite primates, guys.

You got my two favorites right there on there, King Kong and Caesar.

Caesar is on my mind a lot because we just started watching the original Plan of the Apes movies, me and my younger son.

I said, enough about tape ears.

Let's watch some apeers.

They were, I'm sure, impressed by that.

Yeah, yeah,

he applauded for 14 straight minutes.

The thing is, your kids, they idolize you.

They think you're the funniest guy in the universe.

Yeah, they're both at the age now where they clearly still love me, but

they like to be very derisive about me, which I don't love.

But those the original Plan of the Apes still holds up.

The new Plan of the Apes, really great.

I remember

when the new, you know, those new Planet of the Apes movies, the first one came, I think it was when the second one had come out.

I had missed the first one, but I like, you know, rented it or something.

And I remember right away, I'm like, oh, man, this, I don't want to see a movie with a stupid like CGI baby monkey.

And then like 10 minutes later, I'm like crying.

I'm like, stupid CGI monkey made me cry.

And, but the one, the original King Kong has such a special place in my heart, I think, because it's the first special effect I saw as a kid where I was like, this doesn't look real, but it looks alive.

Like, I believe, I do not think this is a real ape.

I know this is a puppet, but he looks like he's alive.

He has so much personality and so there's so much

vim to him, except in those close-ups of the giant King Kong face, which always looks ridiculous to me.

But that original stop-motion King Kong is just like, that's my favorite.

Got to be my favorite ape of all movies.

There's something so magical about that style of special effect because it is like,

I mean, there's such an attempt with movies to try to make things look as real as possible that when you have something that doesn't quite look real, real, but it still is like, there's still something there.

Like it's still, it still feels magical.

You know what I mean?

Well, I guess the secret of it is the acting of it, that the person doing the effect has to be acting.

And I guess, and that's why Annie Circus, I think, was was such a breakthrough performer.

Was it was like, even though these characters are not real, you know, in front of you, the acting matters just as much as it is.

The kind of thing animators have known for forever, but you know, like that, it's still, there's still a performance acting level.

You still have to get the emotion across, even if it is a monster character or a CGI, whatever, and King Kong has that, you know.

I feel like almost more when it's a monster character because you need to have, like, you have to emote more.

You have to.

Sorry, I was silent for a long time, but as I was thinking about it, you know, i was like you know i have a certain i like i can respect the fact that link is horny for elizabeth's shoe but link ends up being murderous and evil so i wouldn't go with that okay um i would yeah

my my loyalties are split between the two kings kong and louis kong is one of the most great soulful uh of the great apes in film and king louie has one of the best songs

yeah no yeah i think uh i feel I feel like we're probably, I'm sure we're missing some.

Yeah.

But, yeah.

I mean, there's a lot of.

We haven't mentioned Ed.

We haven't mentioned Dunstan.

We haven't mentioned the MVP, Most Valuable Primate.

We haven't mentioned

whatever the monkey from Monkey Troubles name is.

The monkey from the monkey.

The monkey from the monkey shines.

Yeah, there's a lot of monkeys we haven't mentioned.

Yeah, yeah.

Shiny.

There's that Nazi monkey from Raiders, you know.

Sure, yeah.

He's the monkey you love to hate.

There's the one from the Pirates movies.

Yep.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Wasn't

the Killer and Murders in the Room org monkey?

Yep.

Was a gorilla.

Yep.

Or an orangutan.

It was an escape orangutan.

Yeah.

A sailor's pet that had got loose.

Sailors are always fucking things up, guys.

Okay.

The next category.

This is another big one.

This is close to me and Dan's heart.

Maybe less so for Elliot.

We are in the feline category.

Calms down.

Cats.

Oh,

cats in the movies.

Just because they make you sneeze.

So we got.

And they make sneeze.

And they actually hurt my eyes.

Yeah.

We got some famous cats, like the cat from Tales from the Dark Side, the movie that kills Buster Poindexter.

Oh, so that's the first cat you mentioned in the list of movie cats.

Interesting.

Oh, yeah.

We got Keanu from Keanu.

We got that darn cat.

We got Sassy from Homeward Bound.

The cat from Inside Lou and Davis.

We got Jonesy from Alien, an alien.

Morris the Cat from The Long Goodbye, Church from Pet Cemetery, and of course, a flophouse list of cats wouldn't matter if I didn't say Duffy from a talking cat.

Oh, I thought you were going to say all of the cats from the movie Cats.

Those aren't real cats.

Okay, so are you going to make a case for one of the cats from Cats, the movie?

No, I'm going to make a case from

the cat from The Cat from Outer Space,

a Disney film that I saw over and over again as a kid for some reason.

And the reason is it was on television.

But it's a real cat.

It had some sort of, I don't know, space powers, if I recall.

So this is a movie you saw over and over again, but you don't remember anything about it.

No, I'm looking it up.

Oh, Rodney McDowell was in it.

Oh, wow.

Did you see this movie, Dave?

It was a cute cat.

I just remember that.

Oh, it had a special color that amplified telekinetic and telepathic abilities.

That makes sense.

That's how you know it's from outer space.

That's how you know it's from outer space.

A color.

Ellie, do you have favorite cats?

I think I'm going to mention, because I have the opportunity to, a cat that was not on your list.

There's a Czech New Wave movie called, it has a couple different titles.

The Cassandra Cat, The Cat Who Wore Sunglasses, another one.

One of the titles is When the Cat Comes, One Day a Cat, et cetera.

It's this cat that has the ability to, if it looks at you, then your color changes to a color that represents kind of a big flaw in you or your emotion.

So, like if you're greedy or if you're in love or if you are depressed or something like that, suddenly your body all turns that color when the cat looks at you.

And it's a pretty

silly movie for the most part, but I love the idea, but it's, but there's some, there's some fun touches in it.

And it's just, it's one of these cats that you don't hear so much about in movies, but he's integral to the plot.

This cat is very important to the plot.

So that's the Cassandra cat.

Yeah, I mean, I, I really love

Morris the Cat in The Long Goodbye.

Like, it's such a moment,

like, just right off the bat, it like humanizes Elliot Gould.

And it, like, it's such a key.

I don't know.

Like, it was the moment where I'm like, okay, I love this movie.

Like, I'm in.

I'm in for this.

There's the cat in the cat in

Can You Ever Forgive Me?

Also, it's like, you don't see a lot of that cat, but the cat's so important to it, you know?

So, sorry, I,

you know, I'm thinking about my own choices while you're reading things sometimes.

Did you mention the one from the cat, the story of Ricky director?

No, I've never seen it.

Oh, that's a, that's another cat from outer space.

And also Dan loves these alien cats.

Things fly around the screen a lot in that movie.

Like, if you're a fan of the story of Ricky, you'll, you'll like the cat.

Which, as a sineist, I am.

Yeah.

Oh, you know what?

I'm also going to mention, I'm going to mention the movie Kodoneko, the Black Cat, the Japanese movie from the 60s.

It's the same director who made Oniba.

And it's a, that's one, it's really more about two ghosts that kind of take the form of cats and kill samurais, but there's a cat in there, and it's pretty, it's a good, it's a good spooky movie.

Is there a cat in Hausu?

I don't remember, guys.

Yes, there is.

Its eyes would sparkle sometimes.

That's right.

Oh, cool, cool.

But a cat.

Actually, maybe I'll switch to that cat.

I like cats that have power eyes, you know.

I feel like that's kind of the funny thing about cats is they're like, they're so, like, cats as pets are kind of weird assholes, right?

And that's and like, so giving them like a few magical powers, you're like, that makes sense.

They're kind of magical weird assholes.

They've been able to trick humanity into taking care of them by providing very little otherwise.

Almost nothing.

But these dogs are working for every day.

And cats are like, you work for me.

This is a tale that is told

by our culture.

But I have two very affectionate cats who want to spend time

with me and with my wife.

And like our little, yes.

So

it's not necessarily the case.

But Dan, that cat knows that it is affection in exchange for food and lodgings.

It is very much

the way of all pets.

This explains a lot of our relationships.

The way of all pets.

So

okay.

I think it's very transactional with cats, basically, is what I'm saying.

So we are into our final category.

Obviously,

I'm leaving.

Oh, shit.

I can't believe I set myself up.

Yeah, you really got you.

You walked into that one.

Now, this is a category that has a lot of animated characters, and that is the avian category.

We're in the birds.

Okay.

So

those are characters like Iago from Aladdin, Zazu from the Lion King, the Roadrunner, the Birds from The Birds,

Donald, Scrooge, Daffy, Howard, all ducks,

happy feet, and this one might be an outlier, the crow.

Yeah, not technically a bird, but a person, yeah.

In a movie.

He isn't.

Yeah, though, you're right.

Well, I mean, obviously, my top bird is Uncle Scrooge McDuck, but he's only appeared in one movie.

Well, two, I guess.

One as himself,

DuckTales, Treasure of the Lost Lamp, and one as and the other was as the doctor who takes he takes care of the elephant man, right?

In the elephant man, uh-huh, yep, in uh Mickey's Christmas Carol, but uh, is he not in he's not in Donald Duck and Math Magic Land, right?

No, and that's like a that's also a short, I wouldn't, but he is in one where he explains how uh the workings of the economy and how money has to circulate.

Oh, maybe that's what I'm thinking of, yeah, yeah.

Um, but that was it, yeah, that was in the big short,

yeah.

So, I don't think he's I don't think he's given his due in film.

So I'm going to go,

I love Iago.

I think that for me, you know, like,

you know, Robin Williams obviously makes me laugh in Aladdin, but the thing that makes me laugh the most in Aladdin is

Iago and the Gilbert Godfrey line deliveries, particularly

I'm going to have a heart attack and die from not surprised, which is one of my favorite lines.

Yeah.

Now, I got a question for you guys.

Obviously, Scrooge McDuck is great, but if you were going to compare Donald Duck to Daffy Duck, where do you land on that one?

Oh, Daffy, 100%.

I love Daffy Duck so much.

I love Daffy Duck.

Daffy Duck is fucking awesome loser.

He has two modes,

wacky, silly, and also resentful jerk.

And I like both of them.

I think they're both really funny.

Whereas Donald just gets mad at stuff, basically.

Yeah, in film, definitely Daffy.

Like, I like the Donald of the comics.

where he's

like novels.

I like Donald Toma.

Yes, he's of the comics.

He's like a weird adventurer, like, like suburban adventurer guy.

But yeah, no, Daffy's got a better shtick.

Yeah, man, I love Daffy Doug.

Yeah, I'm going to say, I feel like...

like there's just something so special and pure about the Roadrunner.

Like it's such this like, it's such an asshole, like such an asshole.

But at the same time, like it's this like eternal thing.

I don't know, like

constantly screwing over the coyote and like rubbing it in his face, but at the same time, you like, he's trying to kill him.

I don't know.

It's cool.

Yeah,

I don't know if I would characterize him as an asshole.

This boy like rubs it in.

He does rub it in.

I mean, just by saying meep, meep?

Oh, there are times he sets it up on purpose.

He's the, he's, he's teasing him into that job.

He knows what he's doing.

On the other hand, the wily coyote is trying to kill him.

So

he's justified.

And actually, I don't know.

Am I misgendering?

I can't tell if the, I don't remember if the Roadrunner is the only one that's.

I don't think we we know for sure.

I think it's not, it's not canonically.

Okay.

I'm going to mention two birds that are not on your list.

One is Kevin, the giant bird from up.

I'm a big fan of that bird.

I think she's really funny and has a lot of personality.

But also the man turning into a bird over the length of Brewster McLeod, a movie that mostly doesn't work for me, but I love this conceit of this guy's giving a lecture to the audience about birds.

And over the course of the film, he's just becoming a bird for no reason.

There's no explanation for it.

So I'm going to go with that.

And before I know the listeners are going to want to write in and complain that I'm not, I'm not repping Gwyr the Eagle from Lord of the Rings.

But, you know, I feel like the Eagles get so much attention

and, like, not the band.

I don't like the band, the Eagles, but the Eagles and Lord of the Rings get so much attention.

And like, there's so much flack about them not caring, uh, not carrying the ring to Mount Doom and just chucking in them theirself.

Uh, but you know, whatever.

Like, why here rules, I get it, but I want to share the put the spotlight on the roadrun.

Yeah, and you also, and I know you're a big fan of Rockadoodle, too, right?

Hey, you know,

that rooster can get it, you know?

Yeah, I want to shout out Big Bird, of course, from Follow that Bird.

Jesus Christ.

Big Bird, like the sweetest bird.

I was watching the

Muppet movie.

He's got that cameo appearance in the Muppet movie.

That's true.

Brett Goldstein in his stand-up special was talking about how he did,

he was a guest on Sesame Street, and it was the best day of his life.

And I'm like, in my head, I'm thinking, if I was on set and Big Bird walked up to me, that would like crush me.

Like, I would lose my shit.

Burst into tears.

Like, I couldn't help it.

Like, I don't know, man.

There's just something, there's something so magical about that, that character.

Yeah, that's yeah, very much.

Dan, that's a good call.

And I've told that story on here before about the time my mom took me to a performance of The Muppets or of like a Sesame Street Live thing.

And the theme was that, like, Big Bird was missing.

And the performers on stage were like, Big Bird's missing.

We need to go find him.

And after this this scene my mom looks over and i'm not in my seat i'm gone so she goes into the lobby and i'm trying to leave i'm trying to push through the front door and my mom's like what are you doing and i'm like we have to find big bird like i took it as my responsibility that i need to find big that's too much responsibility for a child right that's that explains a lot about my personality

Okay, so

we've covered all the bases.

We just have one final question.

This is a hard one, guys.

Before we.

So we've covered all the bases, but there's one more question.

You're right.

His story doesn't add up.

You got him.

One more thing.

That makes sense.

One more thing.

We've covered all the bases.

Would there be no questions left?

I'm in an episode of Poker Face over here.

Okay, so guys, gun to your head.

I don't like that.

I'm already not a fan of this scenario.

Gun to your head.

Ignoring the bird category, the avian category, of the animals we've talked about today, which animal would you eat?

Oh.

ignoring the bird category?

Yes.

Man.

To remind us of the categories, there was what?

Dog, or

dogs, horses, primates, rodents, rodents, primate.

Ellie goes right to primates.

What's wrong with that?

And felines, cats.

Which of those animals, and not like the broad category, which of those characters would you eat?

Oh, so it has to be the ant.

It has to be the character.

You're eating the character, yeah.

Gun to your head.

It doesn't have to be when you picked it.

And you got it.

You can say Mighty Joe Young if you want.

Yeah.

Who wouldn't want to eat Mighty Joe Young?

Then for me, I think it's got to be Sea Biscuit.

The chance to eat one of America's favorite horses, you know, to be the gut, to be known as the guy who ate sea biscuit.

Like, I can't.

And his name has biscuit in it.

You know, he's going to be delicious.

And also, you're going to be famous.

I think, yeah, you got to.

I don't want to.

That meat's going to be so tender for multiple running.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't want.

That's how it works.

I don't want to double up, but like, I feel like it's got to be one of the horses.

Damn, you can't say Mrs.

Brisby and say it's a sexual thing.

No, no, I don't.

Like, I have like, we wouldn't buy.

I feel the least personal attachment to horses.

So, like, I

if you want to take horses, then I'll say Remy the rat, ratatouille.

You know, he tastes good.

He tastes good.

He'll cook himself.

He'll season himself ahead of time.

Yeah.

He's only eating the best food.

Exactly.

Yeah.

I don't want to shock you guys, but I just get shot.

I wouldn't eat any of these treasure carries.

Come on.

You You can't set a trap like that.

And also, it's totally not true.

So, everybody, this has been a mini-episode of the Flopass Podcast.

Send all your hate mail to theflophouse at gmail.com.

I think.

You know what?

I welcome your hate.

I'll eat Remy and I'll eat Sea Biscuit.

Deal with it.

Oh, double up.

Heel turn.

Heel turn.

Heel turn.

So this has been a mini episode of the Flopass Podcast.

This has been produced by Howell Dotty, Alexander Smith.

He goes as Howell Dotty on various socials and on Twitch, et cetera, et cetera, making music.

He's great.

He's the best.

We're a part of the Max Fun Network.

So there's other shows, probably a lot like this over there.

So check them out.

All about eating beloved characters.

I've been,

for this episode, I've been Stuart Wellington.

For this and other episodes, I've been Dan McCoy.

For this and all the other episodes, I think, I'm Elliot Kalen.

And I can't wait till the mini when Stuart asks us about our favorite movie, Children, and then gives us the same question at the very end.

And we don't see it coming.

Okay, see you later.

Bye, Sea Biscuit.

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