FH Mini 126 - Impressionable Peaches

Hey!

Welcome to another Flophouse Mini, a mini episode of the Flophouse Podcast, a podcast that's normally about bad movies.

But tonight, we're doing a mini.

That's a shortened episode where we're going to be doing something else.

Tonight, I'm going to be your host.

My name is Stuart Wellington, and joining me are Dan McCoy.

Elliot Charles Kalen.

Lovely.

So, if you're a longtime listener, I guess I'm the only one brave enough to reveal my middle name.

Okay, what's your middle name?

Kirk.

Mine is Lenton.

No fake, it's Lenton.

Yeah.

Stuart Lenton Wellington.

So Stuart Lenton Wellington is talking, and I'm going to continue.

So if you're a long time listener of the Flophouse, you know that we've been around a while and it might be time for a change.

My co-hosts have been pushing me.

They say, you know what?

It's time for us to shift over to a more popular form of entertainment.

Time to turn into a sketch comedy show.

Sketch comedy show.

And what every good sketch comedy show.

That's why there's so many of them.

Yep.

And they're all successful and never have stinker seasons or episodes.

So even the most successful sketch comedy show of all time is, I would say, mostly stinker.

The Ben Stiller show is mostly stinkers.

Okay, I guess in your America.

Now, an essential element of every sketch comedy show

is impressions, right?

People love impressions.

Yeah, Python's pretty impression-based.

Rich Little

Michael Williams.

Impression of Rich Little.

These are not sketch performers, necessarily.

People love impressions.

So one of the things the flop house needs to brush up on.

Oh, we didn't have a third example.

Michael Ruslow does impressions of sound, I guess.

Rob Bryden and Steve Coogan.

Okay, fair, fair.

I got it.

And I got, that's a twofer.

It's a twofer.

It's a twofer people.

So,

what we're going to do tonight is we're going to work on our impressions because I think the flop ass needs to up its game.

And the way we're going to do it, it's funny that I say game because we're going to be doing an impressions game.

That's why I insisted we all get alcoholic beverages for this episode.

Just to break down the walls, to loosen up, you know,

get nasty.

Okay, so

I, in front of me are two stacks of cards.

One of them is a stack of cards that that are the names of celebrities or characters from movies.

This was a list that was collected by my wife, Charlene.

So if they're bad or wrong, she's to blame, not me.

I'm off scot-free.

The other is a, and that I'm going to hand you a card.

Okay.

And that's going to be the celebrity or character you're going to have to do an impression of.

Normal charade rules apply.

You can't just like say the name.

So not like the usual impressions we do.

or your impressions.

The other card is going to be a card that you have to that we reveal before you attempt your impression, and that is the scenario that you are doing the impression for.

Okay, so much more work than

two other things.

It's a lot of work, and I helped.

Um,

so um, it seems like you do the most work, you have to write out cards.

I had to write a bunch of cards, and

I also, I'm not just making you guys do it, I'm playing as well, which means I am exposing myself, I'm revealing uh my inner self.

Exposing ourselves.

Nope.

So

the hear a lot of good God.

So you do the impression, whichever of the two of us who get the get it will make a guess.

If we get it right, we get

the card to represent a point.

You get a point.

And if somebody gets the impression you do, you get a point.

So you keep the other card.

Okay.

So get it right.

So, sorry, we're going to guess who the people are.

Yes.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

seems when he said charade rules, that kind of charade rules.

It wasn't the movie.

It was just call out, yes.

Which has no rules, just right.

No.

Yeah.

Uh-huh.

It was the original, what, Applebee's, Outback?

I don't remember.

Okay.

The movie Charade.

Yes.

Yeah.

It was the original Outback Applebee's.

They said, you know what would be better if this movie wasn't kind of like a Hitchcock type thriller was instead of family restaurant.

It was a chain.

It was like, oh, it was, it had like a William Castle-style gimmick.

There was a bloomin' onion in every seat.

Every seat, wow.

Okay.

okay be careful carry grants doing his he's doing the trailer he goes when you see my new movie charade just be careful when you sit down because there's gonna be a blooming onion on your seat

when you go to outback steakhouse you go to sit down at your table yeah and they've already placed an appetizer that you've paid for on your chair

so like that's what's called australian style you have to be careful because like you paid for that and you're up you might not want to eat it after your corduroy payments.

Mush it in

the rest.

And I'm only going to be using the eggs.

It does not have a bloominogy in it.

I will say this.

It's an Australian style restaurant and they eat down under back down there, which means through their button hole.

So that's why.

That's what outback means.

I'm sorry to all of our Australian listeners.

Good day is what I would say because it's nighttime here, but it's daytime night.

That's the joke of it.

So since Elliot is the visiting team,

he's going to be going first.

Oh, man.

So let me pass you.

This is the name of the character or celebrity.

Okay.

The scenario is

listing side effects.

You have to list side effects as this celebrity or character.

And I'm making up the side effects.

Yeah, or you can look up

an improv game.

Yeah, okay.

You can Google

what, Larazapam or whatever.

You know what?

This reminds me.

I won't get, this isn't this.

I'll get into this one in a minute.

Later, remind me to do the character which fits into this game that I was doing for my younger son earlier today.

I'll just tell you his name was General William Tecumseh Kermit.

I'll do him for you later in the game.

Sure, yeah, okay.

Unless he's on one of these cards,

unless the name is Kermit and the scene is fighting the Civil War.

All right, I'll do this one.

Gorsh, high blood pressure, goofy.

Yeah, you guys.

So I'm going to keep one of these.

That's on my little stack tunnel.

No, I'll hold that one.

Thank you.

I didn't even get to gambling addiction.

Which is a miss.

There's

a number of medications that there's increased risk of gambling addiction, which I think is a very interesting.

Hey, let's get real, everybody.

If you're having trouble quitting gambling addiction, seek help.

Yes.

Yeah, please.

Thanks for getting real there, Sue.

Dan, Dan, since Dan biffed that last one.

And that is your character and your scenario.

Cast a spell.

All right.

Jesus.

Okay, there.

Jimmy Stewart.

No, I'm sounding like Jimmy Stewart.

That's not who I want to be.

Because he did sound like Jimmy Stewart.

Sylvester Stallone.

I have.

Tom Brokoff.

I'm so bad at this.

Walter Conkite.

Wait, hold on.

I got to sell.

Nicholas Cage.

Yes.

Yes.

Fucking.

I could not.

I could not.

I couldn't hit upon the right amount of like.

I still don't think it was Nicholas Cage.

No, I know.

It was terrible.

I was like trying to hit, I was trying to find the right amount of it.

The secret with Nicholas Cage is that he's swallowing his own voice all the time.

Okay.

Okay.

So what does Charlene have to be for me?

I'm in the game, baby.

I can't believe I biffed that so hard.

Telling us the plot of your favorite movie.

Okay.

Well, there's this dark.

Oh, wait.

Okay.

Wait.

Okay.

There's going to be a lot of, okay, wait in this episode.

Okay, wait, wait.

I'll tell you.

I mean, I don't want to like just steal a bit I saw on the internet.

So I'm like,

well, my horse named Sea Brisket.

Uh-huh.

Toby Maguire?

No.

When you said my horse.

Well, it's my favorite movie.

But when you said my horse name.

Damn it.

I feel like Charlene wrote this one with me in mind because I love it so much.

Oh, homie.

Oh, Marge Simpson.

Thank you.

Or Julie Hauser.

Like, for Sam,

Jule Hauser?

I'm like, I don't want to just do the Marge Simpson as Marlon Brando in the godfather bit,

but it makes me so happy.

Oh, that's great.

Okay, so Elliot, you're next.

Let's do this.

We're so good at this.

Okay,

I don't even know why we're doing this game because we're already really good at this.

We're offering superstars.

How many cards do you have?

I'm disguised.

Elliot, your character is consoling Bambi after Bambi's mom's death.

Oh, wow.

Well, it's a cycle of life, Bambi.

This is Tom Broko.

Yes, you're right.

It's Tom Broko.

Okay.

Man has entered the forest.

Oh, yeah.

That was good for

good poll for Ellie.

That was a layup.

That was not fair that I got that one.

It's like, like, it's like, we're doing talents today.

Michael Jordan, slam dunks.

Yeah.

Michael Jordan, gambling eviction.

Please seek seek help.

Dan, you gotta deliver a pickup line.

Okay, he's like pickup line.

Are you tired?

Because you've been running through my head all day.

Is that Gonzo?

No, Gonzo would be a lot gentler.

I can actually do it, Gonzo.

Are you?

Is that Mark?

Mark McKinney's chicken lady?

Are you an angel?

No, yeah, no, you're Anakin Skywar.

No, it isn't.

No, no, it's not.

Is it Marge Simpson?

You're so beautiful.

You've got my head spinning.

Gilbert Godfrey.

No.

That was a good guess.

I'm sorry to put subtle clues in the.

Okay.

Rick Mile.

Oh, God.

Rick Mile.

And the cryptkeeper.

How about this one?

I was going to guess Bill just too, but doesn't sound like him at all.

No, I can't do that.

Remember, he's got to be delivering a pickup or she has to be delivering a pickup line.

I wanted to do one, but I'm like, oh, this person, their age is not appropriate for what I wanted to say.

Okay.

So it's a

child.

A child or an old man.

Is this felt

how it is?

is?

I can't.

I couldn't even understand what you were saying.

Okay.

Dan, do you want to give up?

I want to give up on this.

Okay, Dan, who was your

Reagan from the Exorcist.

Oh, yeah.

That is a very hard one.

That's a hard one.

Yeah, that is a character.

Unlike Goofy, who's a real person.

Who's a real character?

That Reagan is a real character.

That Reagan, yeah.

With that crucible face?

Won't be a real character when you do that.

Zaney, so.

Even Jeeves vomited all over that priest.

What character?

No, that's for you.

You got that that one right.

Okay, let's see.

How am I doing?

Okay.

Because he said, How am I doing?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speak another language poorly.

All right.

Okay.

Oh, wow.

Je le Paul Paul Francais.

It's not Gerard de Perdieu, because he speaks it very well.

Perfect.

Yeah.

Sounds like Tom Brokaw again to me.

That's a little bit.

Je

uh ich

Someone who has a lot of trouble talking, I guess.

Boxing.

Barack Obama.

He says, uh

he doesn't have trouble talking, but he says uh a lot.

Uh

uh

now it just sounds like Edie McClure doing the doing the principal in Ferris Fueler when she picks up the phone, just goes going all.

oh.

You're going to find out who it is, and you're going to feel like a real fool.

I'm sure I'll feel terrible.

Keanu Reeves.

Tostitos.

Oh, Sylvester Salone.

Oh.

Nope.

Sylvester Salone as Rocky?

Yes, thank you.

Oh, okay.

Nailed it.

Thank you.

Oh.

We mentioned Tostitos.

Anyone understand his reference to Rocky Balboa?

Man, we're doing really good here, guys.

Elliot, you are attempting to pay for your books at the library.

Attempting to pay for them?

Yeah.

I'd like to buy this stack of volumes.

David Lynch.

You got it.

R.I.P.

There you go, Dan.

I had to lean back from the mic because I knew I was going to yell.

Oh, man, I can't stress enough.

This season of RuPaul's Drag Race had a snatch game where somebody went, I think it was Lydia Butthole Collins,

went as David Lynch, and it was such a bummer.

Did not even do the voice.

It was not crazy.

Very disappointing.

Thumbs down.

But Lydia Butthole Collins, great drag queen.

Yeah, but David deserves better.

Yeah.

Truly a great artist.

Okay, Dan.

You are requesting medicine from your doctor for a sprained penis.

Like, Doc, I don't, like,

kind of hit me, I guess.

Like it.

Like, Doc, man, it's so weird.

It just is.

Oh, like Chantra

When you say weird, it means John Travolta.

Yeah, there you go.

So weird.

Never has, it's rarely that I feel like an actor is identified with one word that I don't know if he's ever actually said on film.

This one's going to be tough because I don't think Elliot has seen this movie.

Oh, this is going to be hard, yeah.

Is it from the last 20 years?

Because I may not have then, yeah.

Putting on a show for your parents.

So I'd be putting on a show for your parents.

For my parents?

It better be pretty

tame.

Clean.

Yep, it's got to be.

Your parents don't like a really raw comedy set.

I mean, like I said, Dad gets up there.

He's smoking a cigarette in front of a brick wall, and he's like...

They did watch a bunch of fucking Are You Being Served, which is all pussy jokes.

Yeah, so even classy ones.

Yeah, because it's British.

Because it's British, yeah.

So, mom and dad,

I am doing a show for you.

This is going to be difficult because he's not the character with the big name.

Is it the guy from Anora?

It is.

Dan is correct.

It is Igor from Anora.

Good job, Dan.

Elliot, have you seen Anora yet?

I have seen Anora.

It was one of the few best picture nominees that I saw, and I was glad it won because I liked it a lot.

Yeah.

Okay.

I know the backlash to it instantly happened as soon as it was as it won best picture, but I liked it.

That happens.

Elliot, there you go, buddy.

Okay.

And you are talking about snakes.

I love it.

Now, this is a rattlesnake, and it'll make you go, ooh.

And then this here is a cotton mouse snake.

It'll make you make the same sound.

Ooh.

And then.

Wait, Tim the Toolman Taylor?

Well, Tim Allen, I'll give it to you.

Yeah.

All he does is that one sound, basically.

I've never seen Last Man Standing.

Maybe he introduced a new sound for that show.

He's a new sound.

Yeah, I mean, we're going to have to do it.

He's got another one.

He's got another show?

He's got another one.

The premise is that he's a...

Oh,

his daughter moved back or something?

Yes, he's an aging boomer who's got everything set up.

And, you know, he's got like everything all figured out.

And then his younger daughter.

Is it Kat Dennings?

Kat Dennings, who probably has a kid, has to move back in with him.

So he has that boomer fantasy of being in charge still

and dispensing wisdom.

So

every season, there is a new show where someone has to move back in with their parents.

And it's nice to know that Tim Allen pulled that card this time.

Dan?

Oh, geez, Louise.

Okay.

That's who it was?

You told us the name already?

You're on Shark Tank pitching your newest invention.

Okay, hold on.

I'm going to stand up for this.

Oh, wow.

I'll try and still be good for the microphone.

Slowly.

The guy who gets his penis shot off in Robocon.

The castle freak?

Yes, the castle freak.

Dan was just gesturing towards his penis and grunting.

Yeah.

So it's Giorgio, the castle freak.

You hold on.

okay thank you

man that was pretty good i'm uh disappointed that i didn't get that one i feel like i would have nailed it but dan did a great job he did a great job yeah i don't remember the castle freak gesturing to his penis as much in the movie but because i was pitching like a shark tank inventory

protection protection oh like a cage

okay i'm next and mine is

doing shakespeare doing doing shakespeare

okay give me one second let me me get into the character.

Yeah, yeah.

Become the character.

Alas, poor Yorick, y'all.

I knew him, Horatio.

I may just be a single mom who works too hard, loves her kids, and will never stop.

Sandra Bullock and the Blight Side?

Damn it, no.

What do you say?

Reba?

It is definitely Reba Manta.

The funny thing is, like, I only know that through you, Stuart.

You're referencing Reba, the show Reba, a lot.

You know, there's a thing about playing games that sometimes you like, sometimes you gotta...

Well, you gotta play the player.

Play the player, yeah.

It's true, yeah.

Elliot, you are attempting to give instructions to your barber.

Oh,

I don't want it too short on the sides.

I want it real long on the sides to make it short on the back.

That's Mr.

Al Pacino.

You got that right.

It's Al Pacino, the loudest man in Hollywood.

I saw him.

I think I've said this before.

I saw him on stage in Merchant of Venice, and I was like, his acting style makes total sense for this.

He's in the theater.

He's on stage at Shakespeare.

He's real big.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They're like, do we need to give you one of those mics that comes down from down your forehead?

He's like, no, no.

And it's also, it's like in the movie Heat, it makes sense when you realize, oh, this character is high the whole movie.

Yes.

Yeah.

Dan, you are begging for your life.

Like,

I don't, like,

why do you want to kill me?

Like, I,

Brad Pitt.

Fuck.

I, like, I'm trying, I like, have an idea in my head that is just, like, not translating to.

This is why usually impressions are worked out

in front of the mirror.

Yeah.

You know, sort of like, okay,

not at the spur of the moment in front of a live studio audience.

How about this?

Okay, this is better.

I mean, in whose lines anyway, though, do it better now.

They'll do it better, I promise.

Yeah, yeah.

Couldn't have done it worse.

Hey, man, like, what's

the problem?

Like, we, like, why do you, why are you so mad at me?

Like, I don't, I don't understand.

Like, Owen Wilson?

We just.

No, he would say wow.

He would say wow a lot.

Yeah.

Look, I'm not.

It's very scary.

I don't, um,

I really don't know how to do this person.

Like, he's got weird ticks, but it's like Crispin Glover.

Um, Jay Barichel.

Mao Say Tongue.

Look, just because I'm just going to be shallow.

I'm going to resort to the coward's way of clues in the

Jack Lauderdale.

Hey, just because I'm your doctor and I stalked you.

I don't want you to.

Stalked by my doctor.

Wait, Eric Roberts?

Yeah, okay.

He's trying to do that kind of like loosh sort of like, he's got like this weird like

suave mumbliness.

That's right.

Because he wants to be Marlon Brando, yeah.

Yeah.

What if I was a cat who was talking?

That really would have said it was me

that it was Eric Roberts, yeah.

Hi, is this Kelly?

Yes, this is Kelly.

Hi, Kelly.

This is Jesse Thorne, co-host of Jordan Jesse Go.

Hi, Jesse.

I'm calling because you were just named Max Fund's member of the month for April.

Oh, wow.

This is so surreal.

How long have you been a Jordan Jesse Go listener?

Probably eight years.

I actually saw you guys at the Bell House in Brooklyn in 2019.

Was seeing us the reason that you started listening to the show?

I didn't know.

I've been listening for a while.

Why did you end up becoming a member?

It's really just been such a dependable source of laughter and joy and comfort.

I just appreciated that, and I didn't want to take it for granted.

So I wanted to contribute and show my support because I don't want it to ever end.

Kelly, thank you so much for talking with me and thank you so much for being a member of Max Fun.

Absolutely.

It's my pleasure.

It's totally worth it.

If you're a Max Fund member, you can become the next Max Fund member of the month.

Support us at maximofund.org/slash join

this season on the adventure zone, abnormals.

Get ready for a brand new crime-fighting trio here to protect the anthropomorphic muscular animal citizens of River City.

Featuring Justin McElroy as Axolisle, the firefighting axolato, Clint McElroy as Roger Moore, the debonair cow of mystery, Griffin McElroy McElroy is Navy SEAL, the Ross SEAL that has never served in the armed forces.

And Travis McElroy is every other swolle critter in River City.

This swear-free Saturday morning cartoon-inspired story airs every Thursday on maximumfun.org or wherever you get your podcasts.

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yes stewart does a little fist pump

uh i am explaining to a kid that there is no santa uh so i hope no one's listening to this with their with their family stewart's true life favorite occupation

occupation yeah he does acupressure

while he tells them that he's

okay look Sean, there's a lot of people.

Sean, you gotta stop believing in the Santa shit.

Junior.

Junior.

Before the entire word had come out, it would have been over.

Yeah.

Okay, that was a good one.

You had Santa, but you lost it.

Sort of mailed Santa to the Marks book.

See, I feel like everyone would have got it.

They bring milk, you bring cookies.

That's the centaway.

Elliot, you are low-key talking shit about a friend's house.

Now,

I don't want to say that vinyl siding is a bad choice.

Yes, this is Crispy Walking.

All right.

Daddy's in there somewhere.

Bowls.

Oh, wait, no, I'm not going to be able to do that.

Bowls.

He clearly hired someone else to decorate.

No one decides to put a vase with a sprig of wheat.

My Christmas walking is so close to my Woody Allen.

It's the only problem because I'm Jewish.

What's up with that smell?

There you are, Dan.

There's so much

contact paper

on the counters.

You walk into the bathroom, kitty litter all over the floor.

I won't, I put my shoes on before I walk into his bathroom.

It is, it is shocking how close yours gets to my bathroom

right now.

Yeah.

Dan, you got yours.

Yeah, I got it.

I'm glad that, like, as we get deeper into the episode, I don't want to say drunker.

I want to say deeper into the episode.

We all, we all, like, all of a sudden we get emboldened to do impressions.

Okay, Dan, you are,

this just says four score and seven years ago.

Oh, God.

I still got, I'm still in walking.

You're walking into this one.

Yeah, you need a palat.

Yeah, hold on.

Another impression.

Is this time for me to do General Williams Sherman?

Okay.

So this is what I was doing for my younger son the other day because we walked by the statue of Sherman next to the Central Park.

I was going,

war is hell, and the meaning of that is you have to make it as hard as possible for

the other side.

So we cut a swath through the south.

We left nothing for them to eat.

We burned their towns.

That kind of stuff.

You know, I was doing better earlier when I was less drunk.

Yeah.

Okay, we love this.

Hold on.

Now, man,

like four score and like seven.

Maybe we got

it.

I was going to guess.

I thought it was, what's his name?

Who's the singer who sounds kind of like this?

He's an Iron Giant.

Harry Connick Jr.

I was starting to lock in.

Every time I think of Harry Connick Jr., I think of that scene in Copycat where he refers to panties and squirrel covers.

He's playing like the most crazed Hill Millie

in that movie.

It's like a pretty good movie, and then he's going so far over the top at it.

This one, I feel again, I feel like Charlene picked this one for me because she wants me to fail at it, but that's okay.

Doing basketball play by play.

She does want you to fail, yeah.

Okay,

to Jordan, then

to Scotty Pippin.

I'm

a very Nancy Gross actress.

Terry Gross, I'm sorry.

I am a chameleon of an actress

that cannot stop telling you what's happening in this basketball game.

Now, Jordan,

a three-pointer.

Oh, my.

Tilda Swinton.

Thank you.

Okay.

It took me a while to get there.

I mean,

Dan, do you have a Tilda Swin?

You said you had a Tilda Swinton.

Dan, you earlier today, I remember you were ragging about your tilde swinton.

I'm not saying you did anything wrong.

I'm just like sitting back thinking, like, how does one do tilde swinton?

What is there?

Hard, yeah.

I think that kind of like kind of slightly

was like the clipped sort of.

Yeah, like you saw what I was listeners at home, right in.

Right in, how do you do your tilde swinton?

Don't tell me, don't tell us about tilde swinton, the Spanish equivalent.

It's too, I don't like the accent on that one.

Boom.

Boom.

Okay.

You're ordering iced cream.

Okay.

How do I do this to make it clear that I'm not just doing this voice, that it's actually this person?

I mean, this person has this voice.

It's William Tecumseh Sherman.

So, yeah.

So

the

butter-covered fly

ice cream.

No, it's not Kermit.

Let's see.

I want to have vanilla ice cream.

I want to add sprinkles on it.

I want another scoop of Rocky Road ice cream.

Because I can't really do it.

I can't really do it.

The nanny.

Not too far away.

Okay, okay.

Okay.

You want me to give you the

Debbie Mazer?

No, not too far away.

Lady Gaga?

George's just reading his crush list.

Marissa Tome.

Yes, Marissa Tome, exactly.

Wow, I provided the clue that unlocked.

I was waiting to have to do the biological clock line.

If you got closer, I would propose.

All right, what do we got?

I feel like Dan's had some bad luck.

He's had a run of bad luck.

Oh, boy.

Okay, are you ready for your scenario, Mr.

McCoy?

Yeah.

You're explaining Transformers.

There's the Decepticons, baby.

And the Autopops are good.

You know, you know, they're going to shoot each other with lasers because they are the...

Yes.

I just went chic.

Yeah, you just did a song.

I mean, you could kind of do the same voice I did for Mrs.

Tommy.

Yeah, probably.

Yeah, it's fair.

Okay.

You made a face to it as if you were going to throw that card away.

Well, it was a thing where I'm like, I feel like you guys wish you had gotten that one.

It's like an Animal Crackers or Harpo, just rips up the cards.

Yeah, that's a great part.

No spades.

I'm delivering a wedding toast.

So

this guy's a real

wise Acre.

He's a real potty animal.

Curly, Mo,

Harley Quinn.

same, yeah.

So,

what's up, Doc?

Bugs Bunny.

Okay, well, that was the cheapest of cheap names, yeah.

But I feel like the first part, I was

now that I know that it's Bugs Bunny, that all made sense to me, yeah.

Okay,

Elliot.

I'm trying to remember what this character sounds like.

Uh, you're trying to get someone to switch seats with you on a long airplane fight.

Oh, dear Lord.

Let's see.

What does this character sound like?

I'm trying to remember.

Hard to say.

Yeah.

No one knows.

Since you don't know the name.

And would you give me that?

The window.

It's not Peter Laurie.

No, it's not Peter Laurie.

It sounds Peter Laurie is right.

Because

Emo Phillips.

Is it the like Honey Smack thing?

Yeah, that was

a character.

It's a character.

So, and what a character?

Igor?

No.

Is it a different Igor than Igor too?

Igor's brother.

Igor's at.

But Igor then sues later, yeah.

That sounds more like Gonzo, I think.

Yeah.

But like a perverted Gonzo.

Is it Marge Simpson?

Oh, no.

No, I never know this character's voice.

It's more like

no, this can't do it either.

Um

like uh

um

is Ellie gonna tap out well, yeah, you know what?

We'll tap out okay, reveal it.

It's Gollum, that's who it is.

I couldn't really remember what he sounds like.

Although,

no, you were you were

like,

and I couldn't make my throat do it.

He should have been like Trixie.

I could have just

stole my seat.

I want to sit next to my precious.

That felt too cheap.

That felt like a real what's up, Doc.

Move.

Wow.

Wow.

Elliot's turning the tables on the Game Master.

You're calling customer service to complain.

I'm terribly disappointed.

Michael King.

I'm familiar.

I've heard that one before.

Okay, yeah, that's fine.

Yeah, fuck it.

Man, whatever.

You know, you only live once, huh?

So, some of these scenarios I wrote

down, and I feel like I've hoisted myself by saying, do it.

Oh, fuck.

It's befitting karmic justice that you got that one.

Yeah, I'm glad.

You've deserved to get it.

If I had gotten Golem do a rap, I would have left the game.

Okay.

Now I have to do a rap.

You're required to buy law.

Just let everyone know.

I have to do a rap.

Yeah.

When I wrote it down, I showed it to Charlene and I had this look at my face like, so pleased with myself.

And now hours later, I'm like, what the fuck?

You have been served the poisoned goblet that you prepared for your enemy.

Yeah.

So you come to me on the body.

I'm Miranda.

Or Vito Corleo.

Thank you.

I love it.

Keep you from having to do the rap.

Wait, I was like, that was just what he says in the movie.

So you come to me on my daughter's day.

That wasn't what I was going to say.

Is this rapping in a commercial Miranda?

Or is this the in-canon, in-universe love that Vito Corleano has for Broody Pebbles?

It's not covered in the text, but it's assumed.

Yeah, no, you can, you can, all the pieces are there.

Yeah, it's more to the novel than in the film, but yeah.

That's one of the things Kofala cut out.

Uzo was eating a lot of fruity pebbles when he was writing.

It found its way into the work.

Okay, Elliott, there you go.

Me again?

Yeah, enjoy.

Okay, Elliot, you're doing some dirty talk.

Oh, boy.

I am going to paint you like one of my custom Nintendo controllers.

Tiffany Shaw.

You got that right.

Stuart was just a little bit faster.

Hell yeah.

Do you think he

talks to his girlfriend about that?

He must, yeah.

I imagine he keeps a lot of them.

He's really proud of them.

Yeah, why not?

He should be.

Dan, that's you.

This is going to be a challenge.

Hosting a podcast.

I'd lock.

No, let's see.

Hold on.

This is, I feel like 90% of impressions are someone going, wait, hold on, hold on.

I know I can do it.

That's what the episode of the, that's the name of this episode is hold on.

Yeah.

I'd like to talk to you about MailChimp.

MailChimp.

Brian Collins.

Way that one can deliver

messages through the I'm getting

Gregory Peck.

I'm getting more

flowery when he's not actually that way.

Someone who's not flowery.

James Earl Jones.

And now, let's turn to the next commercial, which is about

Squarespace.

Squarespace.

I'm close on this.

Mr.

Belvedere?

Yes.

It's all in one platform.

All in one.

There's a Gravitas there.

Yeah.

I used to have a sideboard.

Mr.

Belvedere.

Oh, okay.

Oh, Patrick Stewart.

Yes.

No, okay.

That was a good one.

Yeah, yeah.

I feel like I got closer towards the end.

Yeah, as you were going on, it sounded more and more like him.

If you had called yourself Sejanus, I would have understood his character from like Claudius.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

I feel like a lot of these are Shar cherry-picked voices that sounds like her.

Okay.

Debbie Mazar.

Harley Quinn.

Explaining to your Uber driver that you accidentally tipped more than you meant to.

So, so, so.

Well,

thing is, I gave you too much tip when

Sarah Jelsika Parker.

Jesse Eisenberg.

It's in the ballpark of what you're suggesting, but it's like let's put more New York on it.

I gotta get raspier.

Oh, Natasha Leonardo.

Thank you.

There you go.

Okay.

Okay, these are the this is the last one each.

Oh, wow.

Wow.

Okay, Elliot, this is your last one.

You are.

So hard to say goodbye to yesterday, you know?

Leaving a voicemail for your friend's birthday.

I'm sorry, I couldn't be there.

Greg Romano?

It sounds more like them.

Hold on.

They're like,

I wish I could have been there your birthday.

If I could turn back,

chair.

Yes, chair.

There you go.

I'm just Elliot didn't go like lick his lips and be like, That's what I should have done.

I should have mind fishinet body stocking for that one.

Dan, this is your last one.

Oh.

You are delivering a public apology.

Oh, which we all will be doing after this episode.

Missed Piggy.

Greta Gremlin?

My next guest was going to be Audrey 2.

That's the thing.

I got all bricked up over here, so I knew what it was.

Okay, well,

I'm going to probably cheat on this one a little bit.

We'll find out.

Damn it.

She wrote so much fucking text on this one.

Explaining to a waitress why you can't have a certain food, and it's not because you're allergic.

No, I like the specificity.

It adds an extra little, you know, zing.

Okay.

Look,

I just don't prefer that.

There's nothing with an allergy.

The thing is, you can't, you've already sat me in the corner, and nobody sits Johnny in the corner.

Okay.

Oh, why don't I forget his name?

From the, from

Pedro Pedro Swayze.

No.

Thank you.

Okay.

Wow.

I was actually trying to think of

what's his name.

Who plays the dad?

Yeah.

Jerry Horbach.

I think Jerry Horbach, the listener, is the winner.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, nineteen for Stewart.

I have twenty.

Elliot's in the lead.

I only have 17.

That is

Elliot wins the game.

And after, after doing a relatively poor job on my William Decumster Kermit character.

Well, that's going to be for the listeners' decide.

I'm assuming they're going to say that Stuart.

We had to break their spirit, not just capture their cities.

You know, that's William Decumcumsa Kermit.

So who's the.

This looks familiar.

Oh, you wanted to show you could do an impression?

Familiar.

I had one in my back pocket that never came out.

Yeah,

I don't think I have a Muppet impression.

Let's see.

Let me see.

Kirby.

Yep, that's it.

Yeah, that was it.

You did it.

I mean.

Okay, so yeah, so this has been a mini-episode of the Flophouse.

You heard us workshopping.

You're going to hear all these characters.

All these characters are going to be popping up,

killing the airwaves in our new sketch comedy show, The Flop House, a podcast about bad movies.

But that's going to be more for next week.

This week, we're wrapping it up.

I've been Stuart Wellington.

I've been Dan McCoy.

I've been Ellie Kalen, or have I been?

Or have I been.

Ah, five feet.

Walker, walker.

And that's been me, Elliot.

Yeah.

And I just want to thank our producer, Alex Smith, for hopefully editing this thing down.

You will find him on the internet as Howell Daughty.

He makes music.

He

produces podcasts.

He's the best dude out there.

You can find him on Twitch doing all kinds of great stuff.

We are on Max Fun, which is a podcast network.

You can check out a bunch of cool shows there.

And thank you again for, I don't know, putting up with this.

Okay, my name's Stuart.

Bye.

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