FH Mini 122 - Monster Mashers

Hi, floppers.

Before we start this episode, I just wanted to remind you: we are in the middle of Flop TV Season 2.

That's right, the one-hour internet televised flophouse TV show

is here for you the first Saturday of every month through February.

Just go to theflophouse.simpletics.com and get your tickets or season pass for this all-new flophouse TV stuff.

We're covering movies we've never covered before.

We've got video segments.

It's amazing.

Just go to theflophouse.simpletics.com for flop TV Season 2.

This time, it's personal.

Hey there, Flopsters.

This is the Flophouse Podcast, and I am your Flopster-in-Chief, Stuart Wellington.

Give himself a title.

Yep.

It's important that I give myself a new title because...

Yeah, so this is a Flophouse Mini.

Now, normally on our other weeks, we do full episodes where we watch a bad movie and talk about it.

On these weeks, the other weeks, we do a thing called a a flop house mini, where we talk for about as much time, but with no particular direction.

Today, guys.

Sounds great.

I'm walking up with a show direction.

Yeah.

Why don't I introduce you guys?

You guys are going to be helping me out today.

I'm going to be working through some stuff.

Again, I'm Stuart Wellington, and I'm joined by my regular co-host.

Why don't you introduce yourself?

I'm Dan McCoy.

I'm going to be helping Stuart out today.

I'm going to be Elliot Kalen, and I'm going to be helping out Dan, helping out Stuart today.

Because that's the thing.

I know that Elliot has some very important family business that he should probably be spending time with, maybe watching his children grow up or something like that.

Dan has like four movies to watch at once.

Just on screens orthogonally around me.

Yeah, placed in different places while you spin around in

a desk chair.

Yeah, Dan goes, give me the Epcot world country scenario.

And it's just all around him, you know, three, six.

That's what I crave.

Stimulus, constant, overwhelming stimulus.

that's the name of the pages

that's the name of the pornography magazine that you subscribe to constant overwhelming stimulus uh-huh yeah I do crave stimulus but I usually like to get one thing at a time

yeah constant singular stimulus yeah okay constant

stimulus no no

needs yeah

So, yeah, that was from Katie Lang, Kirk, Dan, McCoy Lang.

Oh, that actually makes a lot of sense.

So, I hope you're picturing Dan as this like Mojo-type character spinning around with his little crab legs, watching as many screens as possible.

LA

Minor Domo.

I'll be Major Domo.

But Minor Domo is the fast-talking one, right?

Yeah, I think you're right.

Yeah, I think you're right.

And I'd be, what, Shatterstar?

I think you're one of the ex-babies.

You're maybe the little baby wolverine.

Oh, my God.

You gave me points.

Yeah, that's

amazing.

Pride of place.

Yeah.

Okay, so guys, as I mentioned before, I'd pride a place.

Continue.

Guys.

Oh, man.

Some days.

Dan just started salivating this.

Teenager, Stuart.

She's not a teenager anymore, Dan.

She's a grown-up pirate.

Come on, she's not a pirate anymore.

She's a grown-up in the comics now.

Yeah, at the time you were a teenager, so it's fine, right?

They're locked in.

Yeah, that's true.

I don't know if there's anything.

My vision of Katie Pride is locked in at the time that I was the same age.

It's exactly like how I could have a crush at the time on Natalie Portman in the professional because I was also 12 years old.

See, it works.

Now I cannot.

I don't want to have a crush on Natalie Portman in the professional, and I don't have one anymore.

It would not be a fact.

Okay.

More of a black swan, Natalie Portman, right?

Oh, yeah, for sure.

Of course, she's a ballerina.

She's losing a moment.

She's like, she's got issues.

She's got an overbearing mother who, of course, would become my mother-in-law.

You can't do that.

You're great.

Okay, so she thinks she's turning into a bird.

Hubba, hubba.

Guys,

guys, as I alluded to before, you got to help me out.

There's no structure.

I just got a new job, a man with way too many jobs already.

You already have two jobs.

I just got a new job.

I got hired by Universal Studios.

What?

Wow.

Because Universal Studios

needed

somebody to do some like testing, some audience testing,

and needed hired me to interview some movie experts so that they can start working on, that's right, the return of the dark universe.

Hit movies

with hip movies like Nasferatu and the upcoming Wolfman and

did I hear rumblings of a Guillermo del Toro Frankenstein movie?

The universal monsters are back baby.

And so I think it's a perfect time for us to start talking about, let's make more of these movies.

Okay.

So I'm not against it.

I love those characters.

Sure.

If you're unfamiliar with the dark universe, dear listeners, just, I don't know, Google it.

People, you'll You'll see some pretty funny pictures.

I'll mention, Stuart, I'll help you with this one.

The Dark Universe was an interconnected series of movies that didn't exist.

They released one of them, The Mummy, and they did a photo shoot of the stars of the upcoming films.

And then when The Mummy didn't do that well, they canceled all the other movies.

So Angelina Jolie is the bride of Frankenstein, not happening.

Johnny Depp is the invisible man, not happening.

But they built it up and they made a whole logo for it.

This was going to be the next big interconnected movie universe.

And that's why there was annoying a Dracula one

before that.

That was like sort of a soft launch for the dark universe.

And when that failed, they're like, no, no, no, the mummy.

That's the real launch of the dark universe.

I think that's so that was Dracula Untold, I believe, which I think featured on this podcast.

I don't know if it's officially dark universe canon.

I think they were trying, but I don't know if it has a dark universe.

That's what I'm saying.

I think they were like

dipping a toe in, and then they're like, that didn't work.

They're like, no, no, no, no, no.

Forget that.

This is the dark universe.

Yeah.

Here.

Look over here.

Come on.

Dracula, no way.

It's the mummy.

Come on.

So, guys, we're going to talk about some of these universal monsters.

We're going to talk about some of the movies that they're in and what we're looking for, what you guys would look for in one of these movies.

And then, after a little bit of a break, we'll come back and talk crossover opportunities and merchandise opportunities.

That's what I need from you today.

So, let's start talking about who are we talking about?

That's, let me just get, let's do a little roll call here.

Sure.

We got

a roll call.

Can bot.

Yep.

Dracula.

Tom Servo.

We got, are we allowed to do that or is that, are we going to get sued, Elliot?

I'll talk to Joel about it.

Okay, so we got Dracula, okay, vampires.

You got the Wolfman, so werewolves.

Werewolves, yeah.

Frankenstein's, which are Frankenstein's monsters.

Archie.

Archie is knocking shit off the.

Dan said that as if Archie was one of the universal monsters, like Archie Andrews, America's eldest teenager.

Archie is Dan's cat who has been knocking things off the shelf behind us.

We have a Gilman.

You might know him as a black goon, comma, creature of.

Creature from the.

Yeah.

Yep, thank you.

Invisible Man.

And Ralph Ellison's haunting novel about race in the United States.

That's what we're talking about.

And Dr.

Jekyll and Mr.

Hydes.

Hides?

Now, is Dr.

Jekyll and Mr.

Hyde really.

I don't know if I would officially call that.

a universal monster charity.

Here's the thing.

There's a dark universe he's in it.

And I believe.

Didn't they?

I know they did.

I know that Universal did a version of Phantom the Opera that is considered

backed into the Universal Monsters.

Yeah.

But I'll allow it.

I'll allow it.

They're all the essentially,

except for the creature from the Black Lagoon and the Wolfman, which is at least based on maybe folklore.

They are essentially the great monsters of a certain strain of gothic literature or science fiction literature that have been adapted into

this shared world between them.

Yeah.

So the first one we're going to start with is Dracula's.

That's a vampire.

There's a hot new movie in the theaters right now, Nasferatu, a movie I have not seen, although I have heard that

the vampire has a mustache and a dong.

He has a big mustache, and in one scene, he does have a dong.

I mean, he has in two scenes, he has a dong.

One you see it and one he uses it.

Okay.

And he is essentially Dracula in that this was a...

total ripoff to avoid copyright on Dracula.

And then on Nasferatu, the original, almost, you know, like flirted with the judge said that it had to, all the copies had to be destroyed, but it survived because people had.

Yes, this is a remake of a rip-off of Dracula.

Yeah.

Cool, cool, cool, cool.

So let's talk about vampire movies, dudes.

Do you have any favorite vampire movies out there?

I mean, this is a big one.

I feel like there's a ton of vampire movies out there.

So what are, what are some of your faves?

Like a near dark, a lost boys?

I mean,

yeah, Danny Lovers.

Well, not so much the Lost Boys.

Near Dark, yes.

Fright Night, I like.

I gotta say that The Vampire has never been a monster that spoke to me as much as the others, but what do you have, Elliot?

I've got to say, also, I mean, I'm a big fan of the movie Martin, the George Marrel movie, about a teenager.

I'm actually thinking.

I'm a big fan of

the...

Bell Lugosi's performance as Dracula, even though the original Dracula is a little slow.

The Spanish language 30s Dracula is a really fun movie, even though that Dracula, the actor is not as good as Bell Lugosi.

Interview with a Vampire, when I finally saw it, I really liked that movie in a lot of ways.

So there's a lot of good vampire movies.

What about the Larry Fessenden Habit?

Did you ever see that one?

You know what?

I've never seen Habit.

It's a good New York movie.

I think you'd dig it.

And Jones and Vamp.

I've never seen it.

I've never seen Vamp.

There's Ganja and Hess, which is a good vampire movie.

It's more of a kind of artsy vampire movie.

There's

another one that was on the tip of my tongue, and I'm forgetting it.

And there's the 70s most fraud, too.

I mean what about Kronos Kronos is really good yeah an alternative kind of vampire movie well twist on twist on a take so we talked about a lot of vampire movies that we like so when making a vampire movie what do we what kind of a scene what scenes do we need in it like what when you're watching a vampire movie what's the thing you expect to see

I think that the vampires unless you're talking like a 30 days of night style more sort of feral vampire the vampires like Will Feral yeah a

vampire is a lot

friendlier monster in that,

you know,

he has to be invited into your home, but often he'll invite you into his home and, you know, have a meal with you or entertain you.

He's one of the few monsters.

It's one of the few.

He does play this food.

He's one of the few monsters who has manners and

wears nice clothes often, not always.

I think the thing that is more important to me than anything else in a vampire movie is a sense of creeping dread of some kind.

The idea that

there is an ominous quality to the character that gets worse and worse as the other characters are drawn closer and closer to them.

I feel like that's something that Near Dark does really well.

Even though you know these are vampires from pretty early, there's this feeling that like it's going to get worse and worse and the

atmosphere is going to get darker and scarier and creepier, you know?

And I think there also has to be some level of appeal.

Yes.

Like I feel like

the part of vampires.

They're the opposite of werewolves, where with werewolves, it is just an out-and-out curse.

There's nothing really particularly good about it.

It is not a power fantasy.

It is entirely a

terror of, oh my God, if this happened to me, I would lose control of myself and become a monster.

I couldn't be trusted.

Whereas with vampires, there's a temptation and a seduction aspect to it.

You know, oh, maybe I would want to live forever.

Maybe I would want to live off the blood of others.

There's a certain sexiness to it, which I think goes hands in hand with that kind of like manners, clothes, suaveness.

Even the vampires in Near Dark, there's something seductive about like they're part of this traveling family that doesn't play by the normal rules.

Whereas a werewolf forces you to become an outcast, a vampire allows you to live outside of normal society in a freer way.

Although, keeping in mind, you can never go outside during the day, which is a big limitation.

That's a big limitation.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's all fair.

Now,

some other things like, do you need to have a scene of

somebody transforming into a vampire do you need uh bats and werewolves or like bats and wolves do you need mist

uh yeah i mean i don't know i i i kind of like a vampire that just looks like a vampire all the time unless it's like i mean i guess this actually does include like are you talking about

david boreanis' uh angel whatever he does

he he actively changes to our

and when you say a transformation do you mean the vampire changes from human to monster or you mean a person transforming into a a vampire?

Like becoming one for the first time, you know,

that's what you're talking about.

Yeah, you gotta have that.

Yeah, you gotta have that.

That's you gotta have someone making the choice or being confronted with the, with the, or forced to do it, and having to try to get out of it.

You know, in some ways, that's one of the, I mean, when you see the new nose for Auto, you see that in the New Nose for Autu, there's like less of a sense in my mind.

News for Autu.

What?

News is a new thing.

Anyway,

coming up on News for Autu, the vampire stories you need to know.

My name's Autu.

Here it is.

Nose for Autu, news for you, and news for Autu.

It's news for Ayu.

And I think that

there's less of a feeling of a character being seduced to the dark side because the character already has a dark side to them.

And also, Nose for Autu, the character, is such a grotesque creep.

It feels very little like there's a like, oh, who's this guy?

Who's the new guy in town?

I know that his land deal is

a sham, a cover for other stuff in Nasfaratu, but I did find it very funny that Nicholas Holt's Jonathan-esque character, I don't know what he's called in, Nasfaratu, is like there, like taking it face value, like, oh, yeah, this guy wants to buy a house in London.

This

feral rat man is really interested in.

Well, the other thing is, and Stuart, this will be spoiling a little bit for you, is that Nosfaratu basically gets gets Holt, like, gets him drunk or high.

He's in a daze, and he gives him a contract contract written in a language he doesn't understand and has him sign it kind of in a haze.

And then later, Nosferatu says to his wife, like, Well, he signed you away to me.

He signed the contract.

And I feel like all she has to say is like, bullshit, he didn't know what that contract said.

It's not going to hold up in a court of law.

Like, it's like one of the few vampire movies where they could Judyan on this thing.

They could probably get out of it by suing him as opposed to destroying him.

But anyway, but yeah, I think you do want those things.

You want to see someone, you want to see a person

confronted with a vampire and being tempted to join them or joining them.

Okay, and let's keep this quick.

Let's just fire it right off the top of your dome.

How do we make a vampire movie fresh?

Because there's been a bunch of them.

There has been.

Space, space, put vampire in space?

There are space vampire movies.

Life Forest is a space vampire movie.

It is a planet of the vampires.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think there was a really scary episode of Buck Rogers with a vampire in space too.

Oh, awesome.

Yeah.

We're like, suck Rogers because he's sucking the blood out of people.

Yeah, I'd love to see

How do you make it fresh?

Here's the thing.

So a lot of these monsters work best when they are metaphors for a thing, for something that is on the minds of the people.

There's a movie called The Monster Show, I think it is.

The Monster Show, The Harsh, by Richard Skull, where it's talking about how so many of these monster movies from the 30s he sees as people dealing with the trauma of World War I and the new knowledge of how a body can be destroyed, what can happen to a body, and the damage you can do to it.

And I feel like with vampires, there is some way to make it a metaphor for the 1% income inequality, something like that.

There's this class that is literally preying on normal people

in a way that they're not always aware of.

But I don't know, but that's a theme.

I don't know exactly how to do it in a story.

No, that's good, though, because I was thinking along those same lines.

And what I was thinking about was like, oh, you know, often...

They use it as a metaphor for disease spreading and, you know, certainly coming off of COVID.

And like, that reminded me of one of my problems with the new Nosferatu, where it seemed to boil down to like, forget this science.

Listen to my crazed ravings about the supernatural.

You got to do it this way.

Well, that's the issue with a lot of these movies.

It reminds me of in that first Godzilla versus Kong, I think it was, where it was like.

Every scientist knows the earth is not hollow, except this one scientist, and he is right.

And it's like, so we should always listen to the outsider who doesn't agree with the scientific consensus.

That's what you're telling me.

But I think, yeah, but I think that's one way to do it.

Yeah, make it about something.

That's okay.

Okay, so let's move on to our next movie monster.

That's the Wolfman, a Werewolf.

There's been a couple of these movies.

Are there any ones that are

particular favorites of you?

I have a higher,

yeah.

I think there's more in the wolf zone that I like.

I really like American Werewolf in London.

Yep.

I like the howling.

Oh, yeah.

Dog Soldiers is pretty good.

Dog Soldiers is good, yeah.

Like even a dumb werewolf movie, I'll enjoy.

I saw

there was like a Terror Tuesday of Silver Bullet.

It was like, that's fine.

What about Wolf?

I've never seen Albert Finney in Wolf.

Wait, no, no.

That's Wolfin.

Yeah, Wolfin is.

And Albert Finney is the detective in Wolfin, who's who's, or he's a detective.

He's trying to find the Wolfin.

Yeah.

Okay, Wolf.

Jack Nicholson is in Wolf.

Wolf doesn't quite work.

I saw it when I was young, and I don't really remember it.

And I still only remember the scene from the commercials where he's peeing on the floor in the bathroom.

Oh, yeah.

There's a scene where he, like, somebody puts their hand on his shoulder and he like bites it really funny.

I thought wolf was funny because it was like it's not like publishing can't be cutthroat, but it's not like the most cutthroat business.

And it's like you really need to turn into this wolf man, you know.

I think it shows you Mike Nichols' view of the publishing world, maybe.

Yeah, oh, I think we also forgot probably

my favorite werewolf movie, uh, Ginger Snaps.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I think that might be my favorite, yeah.

And that's, I mean, it obviously wears its metaphor on its sleeve or

something.

It's not really a pun.

No, I guess you're not.

Werewolves are famously sleeved.

But it's puberty and sleeve.

I feel like that's like one of the.

Yeah, like I feel like Ginger Snaps talks about it in like as a puberty metaphor in a way that

yeah, but I mean, well, I guess you're right.

I get the mistake.

Teen Wolf did it first and better.

No, I'm not saying, I'm just saying that that's a kind of

a teenage werewolf did it before Teen Wolf, too.

I'm just saying, I feel like it felt pretty fresh and novel the way that Ginger Snaps I will say that I think Ginger Snaps doing it

as a female puberty story as opposed to just a puberty story.

But also that GingerSnap does it better than Teen Wolf.

Teen Wolf is not the best use of werewolf as puberty metaphor.

You know, when you go through that change or something, you become great at basketball and you have to decide how to use your basketball powers?

Say more on that.

But so werewolves, werewolf movies.

You're asking for what?

How we make it fresh and fun?

Well, first off, I would say, what kind of scenes do we need in a,

what is a werewolf movie?

Here's where you need the transformation scene.

You need the transformation scene.

It's got to be big and scary.

You got to have a scene where someone is telling someone else to barricade them somewhere or like, you know, they're begging for help.

Don't let me out.

That kind of thing.

You got to have a scene where they're surfing on a van.

That just is a cafe.

You got to have the lighting to a fan and that sprays everywhere.

It's a scene where the person who is afflicted with lycanthropy is underestimated because they are just a regular old human, and the person doesn't realize, oh no, this guy's going to turn into a wolf.

I mean, speaking of jokes about specific movies, I wouldn't mind getting Griffin Dunn back in one.

Come on.

Yeah.

Let's see Griffin Dunn back in one.

Sure.

He's still a working actor.

You can get him.

Only murders in the building.

Now let him play the werewolf.

He's getting more wolf-in-looking.

There could have been a wolf in the buildings.

Yeah.

Only werewolves in the building.

Yeah, sure.

I mean, that, to be honest, that is something that I would think would be a cool way to do a werewolf movie is to to do it in more of an urban setting that way.

You lose the spookiness of the woods, but if you got a werewolf loose in a high-rise apartment building, that's a little scary, you know?

And also like the idea of like the

your like primitive nature coming in conflict with the, you know, the more

modern and modern and urban.

Okay, so I guess that will, would that cover our interesting take on the on the character?

Maybe.

And also he's probably going to be like a social media star.

People see like there's this werewolf and and they're like hey man, you know

Now he's an influencer, you know, I've actually seen a fair amount of

skin fluencing that's based on that general topic that I've liked.

Okay, like it's not like I'm not saying ugh just because I hate it because like there have been movies.

Yeah, but I'm I'm just I'm like that is like the first thing everyone sees.

Yeah, I was once in a meeting with a company that was looking to find something new to do with Gumby and they were like, we did have one idea we liked where Gumby is an influencer.

And I was like, I don't, I don't even understand that.

Like, I don't even understand what that is.

Influences people that go inside books and have adventures.

How about Gumby goes through a portal into the real world and transforms into a human.

Into a human.

He's got to find Art Cloakie.

Oh, Art Cloakie died.

Sorry.

And his best friend's a horse, but when he comes to the real world, he's a person.

Okay, moving on.

We're going to move on to our next character, and that is Frankenstein's monster.

But I will also take ideas from Victor Frankenstein as well, The Doctor.

Okay.

So

are there Frankenstein movies that you like?

Well, Bride of Frankenstein, probably the most.

And then also Frankenstein.

Yeah.

Those are, I mean, those are, of the universal movies, those are the ones that I think hold up the most genuinely best, those first two Frankensteins.

Other, I mean, the Hammer Frankenstein movies, I like a bunch of those.

Those got really weird as time went on, where it was like Victor Frankenstein was just a monster.

He was just a murderer.

And he's just like taking brains out of of one person and slapping them in another person.

Oddly, considering who I am, I've never seen flesh for Frankenstein, so I can't speak on

that.

That is weird considering who you are.

Rocky Horror Picture Show is basically a Frankenstein story,

but they don't really follow the same tropes since

it becomes a space vampire story.

Yeah.

I remember I did see the Kenneth Brana thing.

I remember nothing about it.

I remember

eels.

Who falls in the thing of eels?

Is it John Please or Billy Connolly?

Who's playing the guy who falls in the vad of eels?

I don't remember.

I don't remember either.

Either of them would have been great.

I feel like there's a,

there's the Frankenstein is a little bit.

Lisa Frankenstein.

Sorry.

I like Lisa Frankenstein.

Yeah.

Frankenstein's a little bit harder because you're dealing with a main character who is so much less expressive in many ways and so much less active.

Like the monster is not, is often in these stories is not the one doing a lot of the activity, but the one who is acted upon.

I mean, there's always something like I Frankenstein, which we saw for the podcast, right?

Where Frankenstein's monster is like an action hero fighting demons or whatever.

But I feel like that's not the best use of him.

Okay, interesting.

Okay.

I mean, I do think that if we're moving into maybe Mary Shelley, if she'd been awesome,

if we're moving into ways that freshen it up, I mean, like, I know that Brano's version was closer to

the book, but no one

in some ways it was closer to the book.

I do think that there's still a lot of room in a

more

accurate, I guess is the word I'm looking for, but not exactly,

adaptation, one that hews closer to the original vision of the monster where he's not in an expressive lug.

Like he learns very well.

And like

there is still juice to be gotten out of the horror of that character realizing like, well, what am I?

What is life?

What is my life?

I mean, that's kind of the Barbie movie in some ways, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, it's a lot like that.

The Frankenstein story in the show Penny Dreadful, I think, actually captures kind of what you're talking about pretty well.

And it features Josh Hartnett, who, you know, and

it could be all about, you know, being mad at your dad.

Yes.

This is a theme that has lasted for centuries.

Yeah, I feel like if there's anything.

Well,

that's why my thing.

I think we even go, to freshen it up, we go even further back.

And it's called Oedipus Stein.

And

Frankenstein.

Sure.

And I was a teenage Frankenstein, yeah.

But this is Oedipus Stein is about Frankenstein's monster is so mad at his dad, Victor Frankenstein, that he falls in love with his stepmom, I guess, you know?

Victor Frankenstein.

If it was a modern sitcom, his dad would be a retired baby boomer who has a home and his millennial kids who also have kids have to move back in because their life choices have fucked them up financially.

And one of them is Frankenstein.

Yes, one of them is Frankenstein.

Frankenstein has to move back in with his parents because he can't afford to be able to get him to be able to say that.

You're not my real brother.

Exactly.

Okay, real spelled R-E-E-L.

Okay, so we,

I think we've talked a little bit about Frankenstein.

Let's move on to another monster called Gilman, the creature from the Black Lagoon.

Not a super popular character in movies.

I'm sure there was some kind of retrospective during when Shape of Water was all arranged.

This is the character that this is an original Universal character.

I mean, Universal didn't invent it.

The character was invented by human beings.

But this is one that I think there's less of it because there's really just those first three movies.

And then there's the Gilman and Monster Squad.

There's the Gilman and Shape of Water.

And there's various kind of ultra-low-budget rip-offs of like swamp monsters that have that are kind of reptilian or fish like but you got a sapien who's kind of a sapien yeah ape sapien but there's not a there's not like a real rich kind of unless you're going back to like mermen and mermaids there's not really like a rich folklore to draw on for the gilman specifically Because

unless I'm wrong and there's like a short story I don't know about, it's not based on

material.

Yeah.

It's not based on some dude's encounter with a manatee or something.

Yeah, but he fell in love with it.

Yeah, yeah i mean that but uh so but i so what the i think there's fewer tropes to rely on for the for the creature from the black lagoon also because by the third movie in that series they found lungs in him and they hook him up he hook up his lungs so he lives on land and he hates it and he ends up going back in the ocean and drowning at the end because he's so sad like there's there's a there's less of a the creature from the black lagoon is is uh it follows the frankenstein model a little bit in being an inexpressive monster that to a certain extent wants to be loved but doesn't know how to how to achieve that and runs afoul of human intolerance but also it's a monster that kidnaps people um but there's less of a there's less let's say it's not as psychologically rich a figure as say dracula or frankenstein's monster or the wolf man you know but i still love him so how do we how do we jazz him up we've already had a lover boy version yeah

wait uh what lover boy version shape of water okay right did you not see that movie dan it's no biggie academy award

It was best picture.

Honestly, I zoned out.

My brain went back to Frankenstein because I was distracted by a question I got about Flop TV.

If you want the Lover Boy version of Frankenstein, it's Rocky Hard Picture Show.

It's Loverboy.

They were

Patrick Dempsey being made out of dead body parts before he gets a job as a pizza boy.

Who brings pizza and more to spoil the house?

No, what do I, what how would I jazz up a modern

Gilman?

What are you going to do?

You're going to have to make him like a genetic creation of some kind?

I think it's very unlikely they're going to find it.

Pollution creation.

Yeah, maybe pollution creation.

Yeah, he's more of a judge in that way.

I mean, I hate to say it.

So many of my ideas are going to go back to put this thing in an urban setting.

We've got a Gilman that's some, or a Gilm, like the way dolphins will sometimes get lost in.

like the Thames or something or the Gowanus Canal.

Like what if the Gilman accidentally gets lost in a city?

And it's Gilman.

It's

a creature from Black Moon 2 lost in New York, but now it's in the the sewers or it's, you know, it's it's it's feeding off of the people in the, in the city or something like that.

Yeah, it's in the Ritzkart.

What if it's a sort of assault on a building sort of thing where the Gilman is trying to

is breaking into an aquarium to free all of his friends and you know, the humans get sought in the cross.

A different version of the Gilman.

It's more thinking of it.

There's there's the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen book that has a like a Gilman swarm at the end.

Basically, there's like it's like mating season and breeding season for the Gilman in South America, and there's something cool about that.

Exactly.

Oh, there's sort of like Piranha, Gilman.

Yeah, it's the one where

I'm trying to remember, it's one of the Nemo hardcovers that are about Captain Nemo's daughter, and it's the one where one of the villains is Dr.

Goldfoot, the character from Dr.

Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine.

Yeah, which I think is very funny.

Okay, now let's move on to The Invisible Man.

Now, there was recently the director of The Wolfman just recently made an Invisible Man movie where we have a spoiler alert, high-tech Invisible Man.

Uh, and we've had some other variations.

Are there other that was right before lockdown, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Actually, that was the first movie I watched.

I got a premium rental and watched it in my bar.

Wow, yeah, because I mean, like, that movie did extremely well considering that basically everything shut down immediately thereafter.

Um, but there's there's been some other uh Invisible Man movies: uh, Hollow Man, yeah, Memoirs of an Invisible Man.

Yep.

Are there others?

I mean, there's the original.

There's that at the very end of the day.

The Invisible Kid.

Oh, yeah, Invisible.

There's the Invisible Woman.

Like, they did a lot.

The thing with the Invisible Man movies is that it started out as a universal horror thing, and it slowly became kind of like...

a series of comedies and spy movies.

Well, it became like often like a reason for like 80s sex comedies to be like, this guy's invisible.

He can walk anywhere.

I mean, there was an invisible maniac, I believe.

That's true.

I do recall.

I didn't even look that up.

That sounds pretty bad.

Is there any meat on this invisible man bone?

Is there anything we can do with this?

I mean, considering he has to be naked, there's a lot of meat on that.

Arguably, yeah.

This is the thing that, so my kids, for a while, the only universal horror movie that they weren't too scared to watch all the way through was The Invisible Man, and we watched it a bunch of times over and over.

And they always thought it was very funny that he's just walking around naked the entire movie, like wherever he's going, he's just naked, you know.

I mean, like, the thing is, like, the Lee Winnell one, I liked so much, I thought that was really good.

Uh,

so it's hard for me to like think of a fresh take.

The thing, I mean, if you're going to metaphor again, I think the whole thing about the invisible man is it's about consequences being removed and what that does to a person.

I mean, and Hollow Man really took that far in a way that, like, a lot of people have problems with, which I understand because it's unpleasant.

But I also, I'm like, I'm like, yeah, I respect what this movie is doing, is being like,

this is how close society is to

monstrosity.

Well, and like the Hollow Man is not the hero of the movie.

Exactly.

He's not.

It holds a mirror up, and in that mirror, you see nothing because he's invisible.

Because invisible, yeah.

That mirror, you see nothing.

No signs of love beyond the years.

Well, if something comes to you.

No invisible men or vampires, they also don't reflect.

It's true.

You hold up that mirror, and there's no monsters there.

You don't know if it's because they're invisible or if there's actually no monsters there.

Legally, this tune is not close enough to the Beatles for us to get in trouble.

Legally,

they can't attack us.

We're going to jump on to our last monster.

That's a Dr.

Jekyll and a Mr.

Hyde.

Have you seen any Dr.

Jekyll and Mr.

Hyde movies that you like?

Well,

let's see.

Again, I'm going to say that, yeah, Dr.

Jekyll and Mrs.

Hyde?

No, I didn't.

You don't.

It's not very good at all.

The old, old, like the Frederick March, Dr.

Jekyll and Mr.

Hyde is really good.

The silent one is really good with John Barrymore, I think it is.

I have to say, this is one that I think suffers a little bit from us living in a world that no longer has as rigidly defined morals as the world kind of once did in some ways,

where it was,

I feel like it's a lot harder to, like, the Hyde has to be so much more extreme in order to really get across that this is a guy operating on his worst instincts and in a way that society can't contain.

And there have unfortunately been too many stories of someone who seems above reproach on the surface, who turns out to be a monster.

Yeah, they don't need the serum, basically, is what it is.

I mean, I wonder if there's a, if there's a, a to-do-up version of Dr.

Jekyll and Mr.

Hyde where someone is blaming their problem on a potion or whatever, and then it turns out it's not the case at all.

I mean, I blame most of my problems on a potion.

It's called Tokyo.

Like, I wonder if there's something.

I always had a joke version of Dr.

Jekyll and Mr.

Hyde in mind where Dr.

Jekyll is very uptight and very above reproach.

And Mr.

Hyde is like, look, he's got his problems, but he just relates to people a little better.

He's looser.

He's more fun to be around.

And so Dr.

Jekyll's friends are always trying to get him to take the potion,

trying to convince him that he should become Mr.

Hyde because it's more fun to be around Mr.

Hyde.

Pretty good.

Yeah, his friends are bad.

I was just thinking of a sassy like t-shirt of what Stewart just said, some Dr.

Jekyll and Mr.

Hyde themed t-shirt about tequila.

Yeah.

Is Mary Riley a Dr.

Jekyll and Mr.

Hyde movie?

Yeah, I never saw that.

I think that's Frankenstein, is it?

No, I'm wrong.

No, I think you're well.

I'll look it up.

I've never seen it, so I don't know.

Look it up.

All I remember is that in the commercials, they would say, Harry Riley.

We sure would.

So now that we've kind of done an overview of these movies, let's get a little word from our sponsors.

You know, the Flophouse doesn't pay for itself, folks.

No, it doesn't pay for itself.

If it did, oh,

if it didn't, if it did,

Dan might have seen Mary Riley, and he would know, yes, it is inspired by Dr.

Jackson.

So I know about you guys, but all this talking has made me a little bit hungry.

So I'm going to do a little bit of an ad from one of our sponsors, and that is our sponsor, HelloFresh.

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The Flophouse is also sponsored in part by Aura.

That's A-U-R-A, Aura Frames.

I think we all know someone who loves taking photos.

Perhaps it is you, the one listening right now who I'm talking to.

But those photos are just wasting away on their phone.

Like, I know how that is.

You take a bunch of pictures, you're like, oh, great picture.

And you never look at it again.

Not even to the degree that you would if you had old-fashioned prints and like a photo book.

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It's so easy to get to set up.

They have different frame options.

We have one of these and it's a good way to like,

I don't know, if you had the choice of just one or two pictures to put up, what would you put up?

You would put up maybe a picture of your partner, if you have one, your family,

maybe a picture of a beloved pet, but you don't.

you know, see the whole spectrum of your life.

I think that when you have this digital picture frame, you're a lot more generous about like, oh, that's a nice moment I want to remember that maybe I wouldn't put up in a frame if it was just a regular old static frame, but you still want to see it.

And that's the great thing about having a digital frame.

And right now,

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For a limited time, listeners can get $20 off their best-selling Carver mat frame with code FLOP.

That's A-U-R-Aframes.com, promo code FLOP.

Don't forget to mention that we, the Flop House, sent you to show your support for the show.

Terms and conditions apply.

And I just want to mention before we get back to some universal monstering that Flop TV has come to an end mostly.

Our television version of the Flop House that's on your computer.

It was six live broadcasts, all talking about a different sequel.

We had a great time with it.

It was super fun.

And those videos are still available for you to watch them should you want to through the end of February.

Go to theflophouse.simpletics.com and you can still buy tickets or a season pass to view those videos, binge them all, why not, space them out one a day,

whatever you want to do, as long as you watch them before the end of February before they go back into the Flophouse vault.

That's theflophouse.simpletics.com to look back on the hours of fun that we had telling you about movies with the number two.

Hey, is this Jesse?

This is Jesse.

Hey, this is Stuart Wellington, host of the Flophouse podcast on Max Fun.

I'm calling because you've been named Maximum Fun's member of the month for February.

Nice.

If you don't mind me asking, what prompted you to start supporting the network, become a Max Fun member?

I was trying to think of when I started listening to the Flophouse, but I think it was something like 2014, 2015.

Oh, wow.

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Congratulations for having a real job and supporting my not real job.

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Most of the plants humans eat are technically grass.

Most of the asphalt we drive on is almost a liquid.

The formula of WD40 is San Diego's greatest secret.

Zippers were invented by a Swedish immigrant love story.

On the podcast Secretly Incredibly Fascinating, we explore this type of amazing stuff.

Stuff about ordinary topics like cabbage and batteries and socks.

Topics you'd never expect to be, the title of the podcast, Secretly Incredibly Fascinating.

Find us by searching for the word secretly in your podcast app and at maximumfun.org.

And we're back.

As I mentioned right at the top, I just got a new job working for Universal, handling some

market research, and I have enlisted my two favorite movie experts in the whole wide world, Dan McCoy and L.A.

Kalen, to help me.

And you know real movie critics, too.

I do.

I know real movie critics.

And you know what?

I threw them all in the trash.

I picked you guys up off the shelf and I said, I want to play with you.

So

the next thing.

So the thing.

Part of the thing, we're talking about the dark universe here.

That's an interconnected universe with all the universal monsters.

One of the things that has been a huge part of the universal monsters history and

what seems to whet moviegoers appetites like nothing else is crossovers people love it when one thing crosses over into another thing maybe scooby-doo shows up maybe laurel and hardy show up what the fuck who cares so

Universal has a pretty deep-ass catalog of other very popular franchises.

And I'm going to run down some of these names and I want to know what your thoughts are, just right off the top of your dome, whether or not you think that is has good crossover opportunities with our newly reformed dark universe.

So starting up, this is the biggest one, Fast and the Furious.

How do they handle a Dracula?

How do they handle one?

Well, I mean, the typical way, stakes, sunlight, garlic.

Do they have those in the cars?

Yeah, they said.

I mean, their cars have trunks.

They could pick them up.

Now I am thinking of like you attach the stakes to the front of the cars like jousting.

That's actually a good idea.

That is a good idea.

I feel like this is a natural progression for uh

especially because draculas are also about family when you when you turn someone into a vampire they become part of your vampire family and so the idea of our our beloved gearheads and their family going up against a dracula family that is if anything maybe even more tightly knit than our than our car boys and girls you know do we have any other any other characters uh any of our other universal monsters would do uh would mesh well with this i don't know uh i don't know if a gill Gilman is the best fit for it.

Probably not, but I could see.

So here's what I would see.

If you're going to bring other monsters in.

Speed boat-based spin-offs.

If it's a car that turns into a boat, you could do that.

They had a car that turned into a spaceship.

There's no reason you can't do that.

But I think if you have

Dracula turns one of the

Furiosos or whatever they're called, the members that they have a name, like as a group?

The Toretto family?

I guess the Toretos.

Dracula turns one of the Torettos.

They've got to replace them.

Frankenstein's going to drive this car.

That actually is a good idea.

This is going to seem tasteless.

Paul Walker, bring him back to life as a Frankenstein.

He drives it.

It's tasteless.

You're right.

You're right.

Correct.

But I mean,

I've said right up top, no idea is a bad idea.

This is a safe space.

You said it.

You said none were bad, yeah.

Okay.

This space is safe, but unfortunately, it's being broadcast out to the world.

Yeah.

Outer space is very unsafe.

You're not going to last long.

We have another big franchise, and this is one that is near and dear to Elliot Kalen's heart.

That's right, the Jurassic World franchise.

That's his favorite generation

of that idea.

Of course, the world.

Now, obviously, we know Sam Neal already has a problem with invisible mans.

Uh-huh.

It's true.

Sure.

Because he was chasing an invisible Chevy Chase as red in the middle.

That's his name all over the place.

Yeah.

His name is Chase.

Yep.

Are there what other monsters would have good crossover potential?

CP with the Jurassic World per Rencha moment.

I forgot what friend we got so far down the Invisible Memoirs of a Visual Man.

For a second, he was like, the Toreto family with dinosaurs?

Sign me up.

Now, so dinosaurs are in the Jurassic franchise.

They're often in a tropical setting.

They're in these Costa Rican islands.

So that seems to me like a good place for a Gilman.

He does not fit so much in the car culture unless he's driving like a big daddy Roth type strange, you know, car device.

But

I think you could easily have, uh, you know, they're investigating these dinosaurs, and there's also, they find in the lagoon there, there's creatures there.

There's gilmas.

Right.

Yeah.

Right.

Or how's this for a very, very boring movie?

The Invisible Man already.

Jurassic World.

He's trying to get away from those dinos.

So what he does is he turns invisible and he walks out of the park.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

That's

like a little slice of life.

Slice of life.

Little strike.

It's really just, I mean, it's kind of just like a nature program because you can't see the invisible man.

So you just see it pan over like the landscape and see a bunch of dinos and stuff.

And then it's over.

And this next franchise

is a crossover of both cars and things from an ancient time.

That's right, the Back to the Future franchise.

How do they, how do we handle, I mean, I feel like this makes sense.

Marty McFly accidentally goes back to old-timey Transylvania.

I mean, I think we're avoiding, there's money on the table in the the fact that Marty McFly is a werewolf in a different way.

Yes.

So

I think we play around with that one, maybe.

And I don't know if they switch places,

the teen wolf and Marty McFly, or Marty McFly becomes a teen wolf and he's like, not again.

I think this has happened before.

He looks at the camera and he's like, not again.

The whole audience is like, we know what he's talking about.

Yeah, he goes back in time to

a Romanian village in the 1800s, bitten by a wolf, or 1600s even, bitten by a wolf, comes back.

Yeah, not again.

Oh, deja vu.

And then they, you know.

I also feel like the Back to the Future series, as it stands, kind of makes hay from like sort of evil doppelganger versions of characters through time.

So if we if we throw in some Dr.

Jekyll and Mr.

Hyde, maybe,

you know, we've normally just seen like good characters be good through time or, you know, maintain traits.

But what if like we get an evil Marty who's taking the potion who takes the lovely?

Or an evil Doc Brown.

Doc Brown makes perfect sense.

Doc Brown, he drank that potion and he turned into an evil Dr.

High Doc Brown.

Yeah.

Okay, now we're going to think a little bit outside the box.

How about the American Pie franchise?

I hope you're listening, Chris.

What do we got?

Yeah, what can they?

I mean, we've already used Dracula, but I feel like if the mom that they want to sleep with is a favorite.

Count Stiffler's mom

happens to be Count Stiffler's mom.

Yeah.

Part of her allure.

Yeah.

You could have a lot of money.

We're going to spend a summer in our college years.

What age are the American Pie gang at this moment?

I mean, now they're our age.

They're in their 40s.

Yeah.

But I guess probably the newer movies have completely new, like, it's like the children of the original American Pie's, right?

Except Eugene Levy's still there, right?

Probably.

Yeah.

I mean, if it's the children of the original American Piers, he's still the granddad, yeah.

Yeah, because like, I mean, the concept of the movie franchise is not like we're like aging with them as they go.

It's about like high school and you're thinking of the 7-up franchise, which only has one scene with someone having sex with a pie, and that's in 34-up, I think.

You know what?

We've been forgetting this whole time.

35-up.

We've been forgetting the mummy, and I feel like the mummy would go.

Oh, I forget.

We didn't talk about the mummy.

It's fine.

We could talk about them now.

They're kind of MILF.

Mummy, I'd like to.

Exactly.

These horny teens wonder what's under those wrappings.

It's all about that.

I think that, I feel like the

Steven Soder, Steven Soderbergh.

Steven Soderbergh Mummy, huh?

Steven Summers mummy film.

The Steven Soderbergh American Buy.

In any case,

they're all interesting.

These are all good choices.

The Stephen Summers mummy movie,

I think the thing that it did that was most revolutionary was like looking straight at the audience and being like, what if the mummy?

was hot.

Yeah, finally.

What if everyone you saw on screen made you horny?

Yeah.

What if this, I don't know, kind of built your whole sexual identity around?

Okay, so we've talked about American Pie.

How about Shrek?

How about it?

How about Shrek?

Crossovers, which are...

Are you offering some?

No, thanks.

I feel like

I've had enough, please.

I feel like Shrek and Frankenstein could get along pretty well.

Yeah.

And our final crossover, this one, I don't believe is a universal property, but I bet we can make this happen.

The Muppets.

The Muppets is not a university.

And the Muppets.

This is, I mean, like, this is, I think that with the Muppets, you got to stick with one of the classic Gothic stories.

You can't really, like, I mean, other than, I mean, I guess that the creature from the Black Lagoon, obviously, in Kermit, would have some things to talk about.

But if you're looking for-cause it's not easy to be in green, yeah, sure.

If you're looking for something for the whole cast to do, you got to go with one of these classic gothic pieces of literature.

This is the one that I think the most has to be a monster party movie, as they used to call the big ones for it.

They're in a gothic location, but all the Frankenstein's there, Dracula's there.

Uh, maybe Miss Piggy becomes the bride of Frankenstein or something like that.

You know, you want to see, you want to see Miss Piggy with that hair.

Exactly.

If only there was a mesh of some kind.

Oh, yes.

You have, you have Hawkeye and Radar from MASH.

They're also there.

Yeah.

Yeah, as you mentioned.

You have all the characters from the TV show Smash, the one about a Broadway show.

But I think, I think you could, if you have the mummy, if you have the Muppets,

you have the means to bring in all those characters.

You have the mummy, Dracula, Franklin.

Everybody's going to that movie.

And you want to have to see it now.

I feel like you can either do it one of two ways where the Muppets characters are doing their kind of repertory version where they're playing those parts, or the Muppets are on the road and they end up at a castle and all those creatures are coming to bedevil them, you know.

And like Gonzo turns into a werewolf or whatever.

I guess Fozier.

Fozzier Animal.

Animal's already kind of a werewolf.

Animal's already a word.

Animal's already a Mr.

Hod.

Yes.

That's true.

Okay, so those are great.

Sorry, we learned that Animal is Sam the Eagle's hive.

Or they give him the potion and

he becomes calm animal.

You see the Dr.

Jekyll side of him.

That's so funny.

Okay, so

we've talked crossovers.

I think we have some, there's some fertile ground there.

Let's move on to merchandise.

Now, the first one, we're running out of time, so we got to be rapid fire here.

The most important merchandise choice, popcorn buckets.

What's the popcorn bucket looking like?

Obviously, Nasferatu already did a coffin.

We're not going to be.

Did they already eat?

We're not waiting for popcorn opportunities.

You got to ask who has the most fuckable popcorn bucket opportunities.

What's the most important?

What's a Frankenstein popcorn bucket look like, Elliot?

Frankenstein popcorn bucket, I feel like it's going to look like the slab he's on with the electrodes sticking out of it.

You know,

if you're really going all out with this popcorn bucket, it makes a sound like thunder.

It'll be like a lightning flashing on it.

The mummy, it's going to look like a

Frankenstein's head kind of looks like a popcorn.

You could do a popcorn bucket of Frankenstein's head, too.

I like that too, because then it's like you're eating his brain.

That's what they did.

For the wolfman, you have a lot of fur, which, you know, you always love to have like a lot of loose hair in your popcorn.

So it's not so.

There's nothing there's butter, yeah.

Not good for the popcorn, but it does increase like how good it feels on your genitals if you're using it for again, intended purpose.

Yeah, yeah, for sex purposes.

Yeah.

Ignoring that, the mummy.

I feel like an invisible man popcorn bucket.

It's

a card, right?

It's like a see-through.

It's a scan.

See-through-through popcorn bucket.

You see that?

Explain that you were selling them into the

see-through bucket, Dan.

You don't just sell them nothing and say you have your invisible popcorn.

Because popcorn is a tactile sensation.

You taste it and touch it.

It's not about just looking at it.

The price, like the margins on mine, are so good, though.

That's true.

It's 100% from it because it's not real.

It's really Emperor's new popcorn bucket in a way.

Exactly.

The mummy, it's shaped like a pyramid.

Creature from the Black Lagoon?

I don't know.

That's a good question.

The creature head, I guess.

Dr.

Jackal Mr.

Eyed, half of it looks like a normal bucket.

Half of it looks like a crazy bucket.

Yeah, exactly.

Oh man, we crushed this.

Okay, restaurant tie-ins.

Restaurant tie-ins are super important.

You need to get Matt Singer and Griffin Movement out there chomping down the bottom of the bottom.

You need to make them eat a lot of stuff at Denny's or whatever.

Yeah, make the food as gross as possible for them.

It's all green.

All the food's green, you know, naturally.

Like, you have green fish sticks with green fish meat in them for the Gilman, you know.

You could also have green fish sticks with green fish meat for the invisible man or

Frankenstein's monster.

Or Dracula.

It's all green fish sticks.

I mean, Frank Dracula is like there's a steak aspect to it.

Like it's a real big steak.

It's a big straight, but it's got some kind of like strawberry shake, too.

It's a steak with strawberry sauce on it, which sounds disgusting.

You know, but that's the blood on

this steak.

Yeah.

So

and Wolfman, the food has hair in it, yeah, just like Dan said with popcorn.

Yeah.

I think we're going to close this out on a

like a more personal note.

Do you guys have any personal memories of movie tie-in products that you remember fondly or you think have a particularly weird story on?

For instance, me,

my favorite NES game was the Gremlins 2 NES game.

And I remember taking a,

I'm sure I told this story before, but I took a picture of my winning screen when I beat the game and sent it into Nintendo Power.

I was that proud of it.

After

I defeated,

I defeated the

spider gremlin.

I mean, the thing is,

it's unsurprising that my brain immediately went to Gremlins 2.

I mean, I don't mean Gremlins 2, the new batch, I mean Gremlins as well.

Common because

I forget, you know, like whatever fast food joint was doing this, I had the entire run of the story records that told the story of gremlins.

I had those too, yeah.

I think it was McDonald's thing, I think.

Like the really thin, kind of flexy records.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But it was still an impressive, I mean, mean, like, those were the days of like tie-ins, man, to do like a whole series of records that told the story of the movie Gremlins and have it at a fast food place.

I totally remember listening to that.

I listened to it so much that my mom and my mom would always joke around about how one of them started, Kate and Billy.

She was a big Kate and Allie fan.

Yeah.

I feel like I don't, I don't, there's most of the tie-ins I can think of are either cups with pictures on them from fast food restaurants or toys.

But I think this is before my time, but I'll just mention the classic C-3PO tape dispenser, where for whatever reason they sculpted it where a C-3PO is laying back with his legs spread and the tape roll, the scotch tape is right between his legs.

Well, like, that's perfect how most of you do it.

I don't understand.

I mean, you might, at that point, you might rethink the concept of a C-3PO tape dispenser.

No, I love that.

Yeah, listeners, write in,

write emails to Dan or respond to this

or all of us

with some of your favorite movie tie-in merch.

It's going to help me in my new job.

Thank you so much for listening.

This has been a Flophouse Mini.

Thank you to Alex Smith, our producer, for putting this beautiful thing all together and sticking it right in your earballs.

I would also like to thank our network, Maximum Fun.

You're not looking for minimum fun.

If you're looking for minimum fun, you're in the wrong place because maximum fun is where we're at.

And there's plenty of really great shows there.

I'd like to thank my two co-hosts, Dan McCoy and Elliot Kalen, for helping me out with this project.

And it also gave me an excuse when I'm like, what can I talk to?

What do I have in common with Elliot?

Universal Monsters, baby.

Yep, right there.

Okay, so I hate them.

And Dan fucking hates him.

So I was doing this mainly to bedevil him.

Thanks for tolerating this irritating discussion.

Yeah, nothing I like worse than monster talk.

Anyway, so again, for the flophouse, I've been Stuart Wellington.

I've been Dan McCoy.

I've been Elliot Kalen.

Bye.

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