#2236 - Protect Our Parks 13

Speaker 0 Joe Rogan podcast, check it out!

Speaker 1 The Joe Rogan experience.

Speaker 3 Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.

Speaker 1 Boys, boys, we're up. Hey,

Speaker 1 let's go. Party, headphones, you know how we do it.
Black guys can be gay now. What happened? Black guys can't be gay.

Speaker 1 They were never allowed to be gay now. Well, I think the Diddy thing let it all out of the closet.
Like, hey, what kind of numbers are we talking about here?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I need something concrete.

Speaker 1 I want to I'm going to try this. I want to try this.
I want to try. He's got a new recipe.
Hey, new recipe, new bottle on Bodega. What's the new recipe? Check it out.
Tastes just like Buffalo Trace.

Speaker 1 I have Buffalo Trace right here. We just poured out Buffalo Trace into Bodega Cat.
Let me try it next. It's better for you.
Oh, it's better for you? Yeah, Buffalo Trace are minerals.

Speaker 1 It's kind of racist and homophobic. It's got blood diamonds in it, too.

Speaker 1 Okay. Bodega cat.

Speaker 1 It's pretty good. Hey!

Speaker 1 That's pretty good. New fetch! Endorsement.
It's different. It's different.
It's different. You can test it.
It's better than the old one. Yeah, it's smoother.
Is Is that an official endorsement?

Speaker 1 Okay, now Buffalo Trace. Easy.

Speaker 1 Oh, they win.

Speaker 1 You got to do blind taste tests. I'll take it.

Speaker 1 You can't fuck with it. Pretty good, though.
That's an upgrade from last time. I'm fucking around, kind of.
This is good.

Speaker 1 The Buffalo Trace is really good, but that's way better than the first version. Thank you.
Bode Cat's good. Like, if I got that at a bar, I'd be like, oh, it's nice.
Yeah. You know, it's fun.

Speaker 1 We didn't even change it. I lied.
Really? Aha, you see? Marketing. Really? It's smooth.
Lying works. How did you not change it? No, we changed it.

Speaker 1 I was like, that doesn't make any sense because the first one was like kind of had like

Speaker 1 marketing. The first one kind of had like a rushed taste to it.
You know, like if you're doing a gig in Cincinnati and, you know, they're not really using well whiskey. Yeah.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 You order a drink at the bar and you're like, what is this?

Speaker 1 It's a local low-level brewery. Yeah.
Distillery.

Speaker 1 Sorry. Thank you.

Speaker 1 Hey, I bought some stogies, huh, boys? I got some.

Speaker 1 I brought you guys some from fucking Cuba, and then

Speaker 1 I stole them at the airport. You battled.

Speaker 1 TSA owns your ass.

Speaker 1 God damn it, they keep beating me. They got your lighter in front of you.

Speaker 1 It was so great. I was in full fucking bitch mode, and Shane's like, whoa.
Yeah, I didn't know you had this trauma with them. But yo, imagine being them, though.

Speaker 1 Imagine dealing with people's stinky feet and bullshit excuses. And then some giant dude comes in with a gun lighter.
He's trying to fuck him.

Speaker 1 Trying to get on a plane, and you're like no and he's like what the fuck he's got a dildo strapped to his dick i was losing i was like i hope your wife gets raped

Speaker 1 i was with ari once when ari farted on a tsa person i said i just farted on you no yes he did no one

Speaker 1 he was this is like young ari young ari was really even more crazy young ari was great young ari was leave even more crazy and young ari was like this is what you choose to do with your life this is what you choose to do with your life violate people's freedom this is what you choose to do with your life he would never, he would never, ever let them

Speaker 1 put him to the cancer machine. He only would get touched.
So he would, like, no, no. I know that he's getting swabbed out by an Asian guy.
He goes, Isn't this demeaning in your culture?

Speaker 1 What you're doing?

Speaker 1 Damn, young Ari was an anarchist.

Speaker 1 Oh, he was like uncomfortable. I was like, Jesus Christ, Ari.
I don't want to go to jail. So, young Ari, what was that? 40 years ago.
Ari would constantly be calling 9-1 and waiting to get through.

Speaker 1 Don't say 9-11 at an airport. Because I know Ari.
Ari's like one of of those dudes. He has a switch.
And when he crosses over to the other side, you're going to have to wrestle him out of that room.

Speaker 1 He's going to kill somebody.

Speaker 1 A spazz. A spaz.

Speaker 1 Well, it's just an extreme.

Speaker 1 I like it. I like it.
It's an extreme conviction.

Speaker 1 He extremely believes in his convictions. And when someone's doing something he thinks is immoral or unethical, he gets fucking furious.

Speaker 1 The best one for TSA, you remember that when they started going, like, state your name? I'm like, what? Why is that a new one? And it was only some places. I was like, why?

Speaker 1 And one guy at LAX was like, I'm like, why? Why do I have to say my name? And he goes, because my boss wants to take more power than other people's. And I'm like, okay.
All right. All right.

Speaker 1 Nice. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's all you want to do. State your name.
State your name. Fuck off.
Stay my name. I used to, I remember the old days, dude, when I first started traveling, you could give your ticket to somebody.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Yeah.
You could just give your ticket to another person. Like, hey, I got a ticket.
If you want to, you would just have to. I'm going to stay here.
Do you want to go? That's awesome.

Speaker 1 And you, boom, you can get on a plane. That's great for bitches.
Oh, you're like, I'll find one of them.

Speaker 1 I'll lock this price in. I'll lock this price in, and I'll find a bitch.
And you used to have to go wait with your girlfriend at the gate. Remember that? Oh, you had to.
Now you don't have to.

Speaker 1 And you can meet them at the gate.

Speaker 1 That is one good thing. That's one good thing.
Because the gates would be packed with people waiting to meet their friends. Now, all those mutts, they have to be down there at the baggage clam.

Speaker 1 People don't talk about the good that came out of 9-11.

Speaker 1 I got recessed that day. That's another one.
Oh, yeah. That was a big day.
That whole area downtown has been rejuvenated. You remember where you were? Yeah, I was in eighth grade.

Speaker 1 Bro, that area killed Donna Summer. What? She got lung cancer from like some, I think it's lung cancer, some horrible lung disease from breathing in the toxic fumes from the burn pits.

Speaker 1 The government said there were no toxic fumes.

Speaker 1 A lot of firemen will disagree. It was a lot of those people that had to like clear out that area, they're all fucked up from chemical burns.
Yeah, that fire burned for like weeks down there.

Speaker 1 No Jews in the building. Not one.

Speaker 1 No one Jew died. That's why TSA is a serious

Speaker 1 text message, like a chat group that you guys are involved in. One Jew died.

Speaker 1 He thought he had time to go back in and close a deal.

Speaker 1 He closed the deal, though.

Speaker 1 He closed that deal. He closed that deal.
Bro, 9-11 is the mother load of conspiracy theories. You will lose your life if you start going down the rabbit hole of Tower 7.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 The best is Eddie Griffin with 9-11.

Speaker 1 Because he is a conspiracy guy. He told us there's gold.
There's gold. The trains never stop.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he had a whole red. Gold underneath the ship.
The trains went.

Speaker 1 And the trains ran 24-7.

Speaker 1 Like, what? The trains ran.

Speaker 1 Are you going to transport gold on the subway? That seems risky. Have you ever been on the subway, sir?

Speaker 1 I transported a fucking box of human feces, and I was worried I was going to get mugged. Why'd you have that? For Big Jay's birthday.

Speaker 1 It's an important gift.

Speaker 1 In his culture. It's a blessing.
I have shit in this tump upwear for you.

Speaker 1 One of the wise men. Missed you guys.
He shit at some point. Missed you guys too.

Speaker 1 Missed you guys too. We have to save the world.
It's been too long. Too long.
Shane's been busy making a fucking way in the world.

Speaker 1 Shane and I were taking a piss and we're like, dude, it feels like we're about to jump out of a helicopter. This is like, before we do this thing, it's just like, let's go.

Speaker 1 Wasn't it?

Speaker 1 I'm in the car on the way here, just looking out the window. I was so happy.
Now it's a beautiful day, and we're going to ruin it in the studio in the dark. Oh, it's beautiful.

Speaker 1 It's always beautiful here. I had to remind myself: it's like, dude, we're day drinking with friends.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 This would be nice, though, if you put like a Toronto retractable roof in here. We'd get some silver.
Oh, that'd be cool. That'd be a problem.
It's an engineering issue.

Speaker 1 It's a safety and security issue. Hearing a lot of camp.
Yeah, people could fucking parachute into the podcast.

Speaker 1 Remember that guy parachuted into the Holy Field fight? Fan Man. Yeah.
Holyfield versus Riddick Bo. Wow.
The guy parachuted in and landed in the ring. And fucked the whole fight up.

Speaker 1 Fuck the fight up because it delayed the fight by many minutes. And then the guys cooled off.
I think it was like late in the fight, too. See, round seven.
So here it is. Round seven.

Speaker 1 And then Mills Lane, the referee,

Speaker 1 saying, stop.

Speaker 1 This guy just

Speaker 1 gets his ass beat on the ball. Hey, look at that.
They are beating the fuck out of this dude. He did not expect this.
Meanwhile, maybe pre-night you can save the world, you asshole. Was this pre-911?

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 So they didn't even think of terrorism. No, no, they were just fucking that dude up.
Oh, the hang glider. This was the 90s, I believe.
I believe it was the early 90s.

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Speaker 1 This offer is for new customers only. Damn.
They're all in there touching them for no reason. Did they say what year that is, Jamie? No, I didn't say that.

Speaker 1 It had to be the 90s. Because I know I was living in New York.
I think I was living in New York when this was happening. Landing and immediately getting beat up.
That's so funny.

Speaker 1 Did you see that?

Speaker 1 Look at him swoop in. Was it that white guy wearing the Howard University shirt? With the hat on? Yeah.
That was a bad hat. Yeah, look at our university hat on.
It's like she is so fucking white.

Speaker 1 Where the fuck is that white hat? Listen, man. Like JD Fance.
He's got to represent. He was undercover.
He was FBI dumbbell in Filtration. He's like, I'm cool.

Speaker 1 Back then, you could wear blackface. That's true.
Yeah. I mean, it wasn't that long ago.
It was just called long ago that, you know, Tropic Thunder was wet. What year was that? 2008?

Speaker 1 You can still do it if you control your invite list. You see Jay Leno, he's in full blackface.
What happened to him?

Speaker 1 He fell down a hill. He's getting hammered, falling down a hill.

Speaker 1 He's protecting us by. He owed a hill some money.
What was that? He fell. That was a Chris Brown.

Speaker 1 Chris Ball, bro. He's at a hotel.
He saw a fucking TGI Fridays at the bottom of a hill. He said, I'm going to get a brewski.
I'll love it.

Speaker 1 Well, you've got to realize that guy was in a motorcycle accident like a year and a half or so ago, fucked his knees up. So he's probably very unsteady on his legs.

Speaker 1 And then before that, he was severely burned. He was severely

Speaker 1 severely burned like

Speaker 1 three years ago.

Speaker 1 They want him. They want him.
But a motorcycle.

Speaker 1 Have you met him? No. He's not a robust man.
Like, he's a guy that if he fell off of a motorcycle, he's getting fucked up. Oh, right.
And he got fucked up.

Speaker 1 So to me, like him falling and hitting his face on the ground. Jesus.

Speaker 1 Listen, that could happen to any one of us, but if you're this guy, you probably can't stop yourself from falling flat on your face.

Speaker 1 That other picture hurts.

Speaker 1 He doesn't give away. He's talking shit to death, dude.
Yeah, he goes and gets pictures. He goes, Yeah, you motherfucker.
Well, this guy rides a fucking motorcycle. You're never going to get it.

Speaker 1 He's sober. He rides a motorcycle all the time.
Looks like a foreman in a mind. He's got an eye patch.
That's when he got severely burned. What did the hill do?

Speaker 1 He really does look like a Bond villain. So when you're that

Speaker 1 That's the burn. If you get that, so that was two years ago, I guess.

Speaker 1 So if you get that fucked up by a fire and then you fall on a motorcycle and you break your knees, like what was his motorcycle injuries? Find out what his motorcycle injuries are.

Speaker 1 Man, that was Bernie Sanders.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 He just doesn't look like the same guy.

Speaker 1 He looks pretty frail now. He never complained about it.
72. Broke his collarbone.
Getting clotheslined in his vintage motorcycle.

Speaker 1 Clotheslined by wire strung across a parking lot what are you driving through a Hasidic Jewish neighborhood he's getting like Wiley the Coyote injured

Speaker 1 and that's two months after the burns actually he was recovering from the burns where a fucking engine blew up in his face what the fuck

Speaker 1 72 I'll be 72 in four years the fucking guy keeps preemptive strike the train's a good

Speaker 1 fat

Speaker 1 He's still out there turning wrenches. He's fucking 70 years old working on these cars.
He's tough. Everybody's complaining.
Everybody's a victim, not Jay Leno. That's us.
We didn't protect our parks.

Speaker 1 Oh, you can see a tire on his face. That actually looks like a skin graft.
Oh, man. Yikes.
Yeah, that's what that looks like. Dude, Leno kind of rules for this.
Yeah, he does.

Speaker 1 Look, the guy's out there. I don't want to.
Let him take over the daily show. He's got a hell of a chin.
I don't have the balls to ride a motorcycle. He's got a hell of a chin.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you got that right. Damn.
Tough guy. Clean comics.
They're psychos. He was really good back in the day.
Really good in the 70s.

Speaker 1 When I started, people were saying, obviously, everyone's like prior number one, and then like, who's number two?

Speaker 1 And then they go, a lot of people said Leno. Leno was an edgy motherfucker when he was young.
But he wanted that job, man. We got to realize what that carrot was to guys from that era.

Speaker 1 If you have a chance to host the tonight show, that is the end-all-be-all. Fuck selling out Madison Square Garden, doing stand-up, fucking HBO special.
The tonight show was the spot.

Speaker 1 You were the king. You were going to take over Carson.
You were on the level of Frank Sinatra. You guys should be friends now.
Yeah. And there were like four jobs back then in comics.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 You can make other comics. But that was the job.
If you were a guy coming up in the 70s and then in the 80s, that job was the fucking ultimate top position.

Speaker 1 Well, this is the Tonight Show Now, wouldn't you say? That's ridiculous, but I think it is.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's not clean and you don't have to wear a suit, but no one wants to

Speaker 1 want this, right? Oh, this is like

Speaker 1 it.

Speaker 1 The difference is, like, I'm not changing who I am to get this because I needed to get it. Also, no, I think that's what Jay Leno did.
Of course.

Speaker 1 I think he was an edgy, like, he was a leather jacket, fucking talking shit about people. Yeah, he was good, dude.
You ever see Mon Letterman with eating a hoagie?

Speaker 1 He's just sitting there eating a hoagie fucking with Letterman. He was good.

Speaker 1 Also, when he took over, he had a day where he's like, You who can host today? He booked Michael Richards. He goes, I want you.
He was booking like weird, edgy people for his version of that show.

Speaker 1 And we're

Speaker 1 he's um, he was a real comic, but oh, yeah, I think that job just like demands compliance. You have to fit into that position, and then you know, remember that Bill Hicks bit about

Speaker 1 him interviewing Joey Lawrence? I don't know, you got a girlfriend, yeah. Well, no, she thinks so.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 1 Jay Leno reaches in and grabs an Uzi and sprays his brains out.

Speaker 1 I used to be a good comic. He unloads the clip and reloads it, and his brains spray out into an NBC peacock because he's a company man to the bitter end.
Oh, damn. Whoa, dude.

Speaker 1 That's funny. Hicks, I asked Jay Leno about that bit once.

Speaker 1 He had a weird response.

Speaker 1 He was like, yeah, you know, he didn't want to do jokes for everybody. I forgot he talks like he's from the 20s, too.
Yeah, yeah. He's getting three Stooges injuries and be like, oh,

Speaker 1 Norman, you and Leno should have a combo.

Speaker 1 He was a fun guy on the podcast because he was telling these crazy stories about old school shows that he did, like this mafia guy yelling at a priest. And Jay Leno was screaming and swearing.

Speaker 1 It was wild. Wow.
You know, his old move before there were a bunch of clubs around in the late 60s, he would go to a strip club, put 50 bucks on the bar, and go, if I bomb, keep it.

Speaker 1 And if I do well, just give me the 50 back. Really? True stories?

Speaker 1 Leno. Wow.
So he would not even be worth it.

Speaker 1 Leno rules. Yeah.
Leno's great. He just became a different guy to get that show.
That's really what it is. It happens a lot in LA.
Wow, that's the sitcom thing, man.

Speaker 1 You see it a lot with guys that are really good comics coming up, and then they get on a show and they start being careful.

Speaker 1 You start pulling back. You have a Netflix show, it's different.

Speaker 1 That's a different animal. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But also, he went in dice style where he's like, I'm going to be me. And then, like, we're signing you for you.
Smart. So he can keep being him.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's possible to keep being you, but it's very difficult. Most people, they get trapped by the fucking siren song, and the Banshees lead them into the rocks.
Frankly, stand-up is always the most

Speaker 1 incentive. incentive.
That's the most incentive that you could possibly have. It should be.

Speaker 1 But people that are really captivated by the idea of having a show, for them, it's like the ultimate, I made it. I have my own show.
Stand-up is so much easier. So much better.

Speaker 1 It's so much better. I remember when I found out how much money people would make doing stand-up, like if they sold out a whole weekend at the Irvine Improv.

Speaker 1 And I was like, that's what I get at a comedy club. What they get at a comedy club is what I get on sitcoms.
A season. Yeah, no, no.
An episode.

Speaker 1 Close. No.

Speaker 1 What you're doing is a doctor. No, no, no.
For sure.

Speaker 1 A long time ago, no one was doing a Wells Fargo.

Speaker 1 For sure.

Speaker 1 We're going to take tickets to the Wells Fargo, bro. Relax.
But you remember when you first started selling out comedy clubs. You're like, oh my God, this is like sitcom money.
Adding shows.

Speaker 1 It's teacher money. Yeah.
Teacher for the year money. Yeah, for a whole year.
Yeah, what a teacher gets in a whole year, you get in a weekend people.

Speaker 1 There's a big draw. It might be a problem.

Speaker 1 That's kind of a problem. It's not, though, because it's hard to get there.

Speaker 1 They could do it too. You don't like teaching?

Speaker 1 Put together an act.

Speaker 1 It just takes 14 years and build up the children. That's the thing.

Speaker 1 The reality of comedy is it really takes 10 years to be any good.

Speaker 1 It's like a 10-year problem. It's funny to see the friends from high school go from like,

Speaker 1 oh, that's cool, but also like, I feel sorry for him. We're all trying to get big in the business and Ari's barely able to afford McDonald's.
And then as you start, oh, he's doing okay.

Speaker 1 And then like, either like, hell yeah, or jealousy, like, why do you get this? Oh, yeah, there's a lot of that. Four for two decades.

Speaker 1 Well, you know where the real jealousy comes from people that don't have any growth in their profession, where it's not possible.

Speaker 1 Like, this is the height of you can maintain this, and you need to budget your lifestyle, and you'll be fine. But there's no dream, there's no chase, there's no thing.

Speaker 1 So, when they see a guy like you chasing stuff, putting together specials, getting more popular, oh my God, he sold out what? Oh, that's crazy.

Speaker 1 That sort of like fucks with people because they realize like they didn't make a choice that's exciting. You got to grow.
You hear that, Jamie?

Speaker 1 You got to go to the group. Jamie grew

Speaker 1 a mustache. Jamie's looking Mexican as fuck now.
You look good.

Speaker 1 Jaime Vernon is. He's like Carumba.

Speaker 1 I thought he looked more Persian.

Speaker 1 He could pass as anything, brother. Like a rug.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, because he got that long hair, too.
You look good, dude.

Speaker 1 Let's not go crazy. He's a handsome guy.

Speaker 1 Ponytail mustache. What does that hat say?

Speaker 1 I don't know. It was in my house.

Speaker 1 Fuega house. What is that? I don't know.
They sent it to me. I think it's Aaron Rodgers.
Oh, okay. Camo.
J-Mo, pull that up. Is that Aaron Rodgers? Actually, don't pull it up.

Speaker 1 Just, I think it's Aaron Rodgers. Speaking of Jets.

Speaker 1 9-11. We brought up all thick.
That's the weave.

Speaker 1 We brought it back to the weave. I was like my black ex.
Oh, you're sitting in the Trump seat. How's it feel? God, the Jets suck.
It feels powerful, bro. Yeah, you can feel it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, give me some Cheetos. He's got a big fat.

Speaker 1 He does have a thickie. Makes you want to diet coke.

Speaker 1 Oh, I got to have a dick off of Trump. He's the RFK Jr.
saying that he was like complaining about what he eats. He's like, you get on the plane with him, and it's the heart.
It's garbage. it's poison.

Speaker 1 It's all either KFC.

Speaker 1 Just like, shut up. Yeah, he's like, you have KFC or McDonald's.
Those are two options. RFK talks about Trump the way I talk about DeRosa.

Speaker 1 It's like, stopping the shots already. Having a good time.
Come on. It's my birthday week.
Doing shots. One shot.

Speaker 1 Arsenal, they're talking about RFK for the HHS role.

Speaker 1 Health and Human Services. I mean, well, you're on a plane with a guy eating poison.

Speaker 1 And he's running the whole world.

Speaker 1 You need Susan Powder to run that. It's like, maybe I should eat poison.
He's doing great. I had Fruit Loops today.
I just feel RFK mad at me. When you eat cereal, you got to buy them from Canada.

Speaker 1 Go to Fruit Loops. Use a VPN and get on a Canadian Amazon and

Speaker 1 have them shipped across the seas. Have you ever heard RFK talking about his son taking mushrooms? What? Pull it up.
Oh, it's wild.

Speaker 1 He was like, I thought these were all drugs, and then I saw him get better. He's the voice of a generation.
His son, the one who served? I don't know. He goes, he'd fight all the time.

Speaker 1 He'd get into arguments and hockey and then like took these drugs. And he's a cooler cooler person.
And I had to look into it. One of his sons went and fought for him.
Fun Ukraine.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's like a machine gunner. He's in Ukraine.
Yeah. I didn't know that.

Speaker 1 You can go do it. They'll let you go over there.
Nah, they don't want me. 100%.
Half-pit. Just get half fit, do five challenges.
You can watch it. I've been watching it.

Speaker 1 You can watch the war. Oh, yeah.
It's crazy. Oh, I watched it.
You don't want to watch it. It's weird.
It's like trench warfare. It's like five on five.

Speaker 1 It's weird. Whoa.

Speaker 1 Iowa basketball. Would you go? No, you're watching it the same way people watch those little fucking, what are those little cameras called? What are those things called? GoPros, GoPro.

Speaker 1 It's like a GoPro footage of a guy doing a BMX trail. Shaky.
Yeah, it looks like that. Yeah, it's like a guy's running down the trail shooting people in a pit.
You don't wear it.

Speaker 1 And the drones are shitty. You're right.

Speaker 1 They're like little shitty drones you see at like a park. They're suicide drones.
Yeah, and you just hear them.

Speaker 1 They shoot down. They just land on you and blow you up.
Damn, man, we got it good. There's a video of a guy throwing his AK at the drone, and the drone explodes in the air, and it's saves him.

Speaker 1 And he saves him. Yeah, it saves him.

Speaker 1 But for now. Different kind of war.
If we're talking about it, what are we doing over there?

Speaker 1 Yeah, pull out. Cut it out.
Meanwhile, what is Biden doing allowing Ukraine to launch long-range missiles into Russia? Trying to go out with a band.

Speaker 1 I love when these presidents do something last minute that they know is going to get reversed. They're just like, here, I'll throw this.
He did it. I know, but he's like,

Speaker 1 I'm done.

Speaker 1 I'll just wait till the next guy comes in and has to change it. He's messing.
He's trying to make it messy for Trump. It's very, well, it's not just messy.
It might be a war.

Speaker 1 Might be the end of the world.

Speaker 1 It could be the end of the world. Could be a hot war where they could suspend this changing of the guard, too.
Who knows what the fuck could happen?

Speaker 1 Aren't they just trying to occupy Russia, just keep them occupied?

Speaker 1 That's the deal. I don't know.

Speaker 1 If you've got a guy that's coming in that wants to find all the corruption and find what happened during 2020 and find out who colluded and check emails and check, there's a lot of incentive to do some wild shit to keep him from taking that position.

Speaker 1 I know that's super tinfoil, Hattie. I mean, it's not Hunter.
Why else? Why was Hunter at Burisma?

Speaker 1 Right, right. Good question.

Speaker 1 What does that mean? What are those terms?

Speaker 1 Hunter.

Speaker 1 Biden's son was working for Burisma, which is a huge company in Ukraine. He was making millions of dollars for a job.
He was completely unqualified.

Speaker 1 He was on the board in an energy company in Ukraine while he was, I think it was like while he was on crack. Why are they around there?

Speaker 1 Well, how about that crazy speech where Biden is on stage with a couple of guys and he's talking about how he fired the prosecutor? He got the prosecutor fired or they wouldn't have got the money.

Speaker 1 See if you can find that. Because this is, it's so crazy.
This guy's ego is so nuts that he said this publicly just to flex.

Speaker 1 He's basically just explaining the power that he had as vice president while his son was working for Burisma. And he's just expressing it publicly.
Damn. And it should be a crime.

Speaker 1 It's like, what you're saying sounds like, doesn't sound like what I want from the president. It sounds crazy.

Speaker 1 But for a crackhead, he got a lot done. He was going wild.
He was going wild. That boy was going wild.
A lot of hooks. I actually, I'm coming around on Biden.

Speaker 1 Biden's nice.

Speaker 1 Oh, Hunter Rule. Joe's joining us.
Hunter running. Now that Joe's at the end and he's kind of

Speaker 1 first of all, if you think it's Joe's idea to launch those missiles, there's no fucking way. Joe has nothing to do with that.
Joe had a giant smile on his face when he was sitting there with Trump.

Speaker 1 Giant smile. Did you see Gaffergen's joke about

Speaker 1 Gaffergen's joke about

Speaker 1 there's only a couple Democrats that

Speaker 1 don't like Kamala, and it's Joe Biden's family.

Speaker 1 So play this so we can hear it.

Speaker 1 Start from the beginning.

Speaker 1 Uh-oh. Billion dollars.

Speaker 4 No, I said,

Speaker 4 we're not going to give you the billion dollars. They said, you have no authority.
You're not the president. The president said, I said, call him.

Speaker 4 i said i'm telling you you're not getting a billion dollars i said you're not getting a billion i'm gonna be leaving here and i think it was what six hours i looked i said i'm leaving in six hours if the prosecutor's not fired you're not getting the money well son of a bitch

Speaker 4 got fired and they put in place someone who was solid at the time

Speaker 1 so this is in reference

Speaker 1 prosecutor he was very very sharp but he was younger he was still full of shit but he was sharp yeah what was that in reference to

Speaker 1 See if you can find it. Hail is a well, they said it was a corrupt prosecutor.
Well,

Speaker 1 that's the thing about Ukraine. They keep trying to get their own Ukraine.
Whatever. Ukraine's corrupt as fuck.
Yeah. Always has been.
Yeah, it's a lot of money. Always has been.

Speaker 1 He owes us a lot of money.

Speaker 1 He owes me. That's not a big deal.
Yes. Billions.
Tucker told me they had a deal, a ceasefire in place in the UK and the U.S. We're like, nope, no ceasefire.
Keep it going. Oh,

Speaker 1 Jesus Christ. Oh, boy, what about Gaza? Ukraine.
Ukraine. Jesus, Jesus.
Son of a moment. I like that.
Ukraine.

Speaker 1 Son of a moment. That's a mess.
Yeah, how many? How much?

Speaker 1 Just get back those people and just everybody chilling. I bet those people are all dead, dude.
No, they just got a couple more back. Oh, really?

Speaker 1 Yeah, the women they're trying to impregnate all the time. So

Speaker 1 they've got tasks to get to the bottom. Well, still, you got, you know.
Can't blow up much kids, though. Yeah, so just give that shit back.
I know, but also, you know. Yeah, I know.

Speaker 1 Everybody's shitty there. How many of you guys are running? How many hostages here?

Speaker 1 Buyer

Speaker 1 pushed out Ukrainian prosecutor because he didn't pursue corruption cases.

Speaker 1 So, a whistleblower complaint centering on President Donald Trump's phone call with the Ukrainian president has spurred a number of allegations and counter-allegations as Republicans and Democrats jockey for position amid an impeachment inquiry at the heart of Congress probe into the president's actions.

Speaker 1 It is his claim that former vice president and 2020 Democratic frontrunner Joe Biden strong-armed the Ukrainian government to fire its top prosecutor in order to thwart an investigation into a company tied to his son, Hunter Biden.

Speaker 1 But sources ranging from from former Obama administration officials to anti-corruption advocate in Ukraine say the official, Victor Shokin, was ousted for the opposite reason Trump and his allies claim.

Speaker 1 Of course, they say that. It wasn't because Shokin was investigating a natural gas company tied to Biden's son.

Speaker 1 It was because Shokin wasn't pursuing corruption amongst the country's politicians, according to a Ukrainian official and four former American officials who specialized in Ukraine and Europe.

Speaker 1 That sounds like a convenient narrative. I don't know what's true, but that sounds a little convenient.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 He was fired because he wasn't investigating corruption.

Speaker 1 We insist that they investigate corruption in other countries. And if they don't, we won't give you the money.

Speaker 1 In fact, we are so ethical that if we don't look at your papers and find zero corruption, you don't get the billion dollars. Well, son of a bitch.
They fired him. Shut the fuck up.
What am I, a child?

Speaker 1 You think I'm a child? It works. Trump's going to pardon him.
They're all doing it. It's just government.
Hunter. Is he? Yeah, he said that.
It's just government. They're all fucking bullshits.

Speaker 1 That Hunter should pardon.

Speaker 1 Imagine that guy being your dad.

Speaker 5 You'd do crack too.

Speaker 1 You'd be out there getting wild, getting foot jobs, filming it, leaving it on a laptop. These guys lost.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Also, when you're making millions of dollars for a job you really shouldn't have, you go wild. Of course.
Oh, yeah. Especially if you're already a cocaine.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Kim Kardashian. You go wild.

Speaker 1 You go fucking wild. Yeah, stand-up comedy.
It's like, let me drink. I'm making so much money.
Let me drink before work.

Speaker 1 Tony Inchcliffe has four thrones.

Speaker 1 He has a lot of stuff. He's a green corporate.
He has way more thrones than anyone should have. Thrones made.

Speaker 1 I'm thinking of getting a new throne.

Speaker 1 It's tough, dude. Don't get me started on that.

Speaker 1 But we need thrones. We should get four thrones that we only use and protect our partners.
That we reel in for this.

Speaker 1 How about that? That's fun. How about that? What should they look like? Like the McSomar thing.
Put a toilet in it. Oh, yeah.
Just to get up.

Speaker 1 You have to get up. That's just bad.
I'd love to see it.

Speaker 1 Ari would be shitting it. It'd be just like a bus.
Don't shit on the bus. You would be shitting the whole time.

Speaker 1 You got that right.

Speaker 1 Look at each other in the eyes.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Can't talk, dude.

Speaker 1 That'd be terrible. You already shit in a box.
What are you talking about?

Speaker 1 You shit on stage as Skank Fest. No pissing to me.
Dude, I went into a public bathroom yesterday at a football game, and this guy shit so bad that as I walked in, I could barely hang on.

Speaker 1 I was like, oh, no, it was a big bathroom, like six, seven stalls. Wait, you went to the UT game? No, no, it was a high school game.
Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 You're not allowed there. It's fun.
All right.

Speaker 1 High school football is fun. It was fun.
So, anyway,

Speaker 1 I go

Speaker 1 drink a hot cocoa for $2 and watch some shitty Snapper Gerplays halfway through. And they play good.
They play good. I was getting into football.
I used to be Fairfax High.

Speaker 1 You'd see people get swapped out.

Speaker 1 I'm enjoying it. No Dane football.
I'm enjoying football. You'd be such a good No Dane fan.
I'm enjoying it. But the point is, this guy's audio game too.
We need the NIL. We need your NIL.

Speaker 1 Hold on a second, Joe. Let's talk business.

Speaker 1 The moment I walk in, I was like, oh, I was like, I can hold it. I was like, no, I can hold it.
His shit was so bad that in a big bathroom, it just overpowered the whole bathroom for one dude.

Speaker 1 Football bathrooms are up there with like JFK, airport dumps. Airport dumps.
Airport dumps are bad. Some guy from fucking Senegal lands.

Speaker 1 His camel shit.

Speaker 1 Just a bad camel he ate before he died. Smuggling in water.

Speaker 1 Hold on, you liked it. I had a JFK.
I had an all-time.

Speaker 1 Me and O'Connor were at JFK. We landed and got drunk.
We got drunk at the Buffalo Wild Wings.

Speaker 1 It was on a Sunday, so we were watching football and we got hammered, but we started fighting. We always fight about shit.

Speaker 1 He's a liberal dude. He loves blue ski.
We were getting fucked up, arguing about that. And then in the middle of the argument, I went to go.
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Speaker 1 Take a piss. And it was a wet floor.
I just fell on the ground at the JFK every day. Jay Leno.
I was like, oh my God.

Speaker 1 I was was laying in the bathroom at JFK and he walked in. We had just been fighting.
This is an argument loser. Yeah.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 You can't be laying on the floor in the bathroom and be like, actually, I know what I'm talking about.

Speaker 1 Obviously, I'm the biggest piece of shit that's ever lived. You lose no matter what.
Yeah. If you follow JFK, you're like, what's soaked in your killer?

Speaker 1 Oh, you go to his public bathrooms and the floor is just soaked in. Soaked.

Speaker 1 You walk in and you're like,

Speaker 1 high school fool. I was the mascot for my high school.
No, what was it? What kind of outfit? It was a cavalier. Six.
With a big head. It's a pirate.

Speaker 1 I got fired the first game. Oh, no.
Wow. Well, I was doing it.
It was when this was big.

Speaker 1 You didn't suck it. You suck it.
And they let me go.

Speaker 1 The suck it? You're hitting suck it as a cavalier. It was huge at that time.
That's very cavalier.

Speaker 1 It's funny when you find out that

Speaker 1 Hinchcliffe was a fucking umpire in high school based, wasn't it? Riley? What?

Speaker 1 Yo, Hincher up.

Speaker 1 Hinchcliffe can wrestle.

Speaker 1 He can wrestle. He really can wrestle.
He had a wrestling match with David Lucas on stage at the

Speaker 1 after hours. That's how you were there.
Yeah, you fucked David Lucas up. David Lucas is like 300 pounds.
Damn.

Speaker 1 Hinchcliffe can fuck. Yeah, up a little.
I'm being nice. But Hinchcliffe can fucking wrestle.

Speaker 1 He can wrestle. He did a duck under, got behind him, pushed him onto his back.

Speaker 1 David Lucas was scrambling, trying to get to his feet. Hinchcliffe was controlling him.
He was furious. Who was the top? He couldn't believe that Tony was the top.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you'll find out.

Speaker 1 David was out of breath in four seconds. Wow.
There's four seconds of exertion, and he was ready to have a heart attack. What's going on? He's got the list.

Speaker 1 Tell that fellow. Got to clean that up.
Hinchcliffe.

Speaker 1 He almost lost the whole election. Yeah, he did.
No, he gained him votes.

Speaker 1 They were going to write stories. They had stories already written that if the election went to Biden or went to Kamala, they were going to blame Tony Hinchcliffe.
Who's that?

Speaker 1 A bunch of different media outlets. It would have been the funny Democrats.
It's so funny how they thought Latinos just hadn't made up their minds yet. Right.
And this was enough to sway.

Speaker 1 They're just a bit racist. Well, yeah.
The Democrats. Just a tiny bit.
Not fully, but a bit. Latino's a big group.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's also they leaned on it so hard. You make fun of Puerto Ricans.
The rest of them are going to be like, yeah, nice. Yes, exactly.

Speaker 1 It's as if you say if you make fun of Staten Island, the Bronx will be like, how dare you? Right. Right.

Speaker 1 Well, we make fun of Russia. We're white.
You know, we're not like, hey, don't fuck with Whitey.

Speaker 1 whitey it was embarrassing it was also it was so lame to be going after that so hard when there was so much wrong with the world well they're out of stuff literally every major city is failing under opioids and homelessness and you're going to have bad advice it's just bad advice from the beginning like the very beginning is bad advice hey i mean listen it's like the new york giants you're putting some fucking local kid a quarterback he's going to do the best he can Some lady came in with two months to go and was like, I don't know, try your best.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Is it true that she got put in because Biden endorsed her as he was leaving and that that wasn't initially the plan? I've seen that I've read that several times.

Speaker 1 I thought he refused to endorse her for a while. Actually, I think she pushed him out.
Because she pushed him out.

Speaker 1 But then once he did, he found out that allegedly, this is what I had read, that they wanted to do a primary. But Biden said publicly, I'll just endorse Kamala.

Speaker 1 And he didn't think that Kamala could win. This is the allegation.
So he was like,

Speaker 1 look at his smile on his face. I think it's DEI.
I think nobody can tell a black woman she can't be the one.

Speaker 1 But the smile is insane. But a primary can tell.
I've never heard heard about it. I haven't seen it.

Speaker 1 If she crumbles in the primary the way she crumbled in the primary for president, then if Gavin Newsom or Josh Shapiro, whoever it is that gets the words over on her, that person emerges naturally.

Speaker 1 Right. It's just like she fucked up.
She's just not good. It has nothing to do with anything else.
No, I talked to a lot of liberals, and they're like,

Speaker 1 this isn't our guy.

Speaker 1 We wish we could have gotten our guy on. You know what's real nice? The left is the conspiracy people now.
They're like, this election was rigged and Trump faked an assassination.

Speaker 1 It's like, oh, faked.

Speaker 1 Dude, I've heard them talk about how the right. I've heard them talk about how the right has created.

Speaker 1 I've heard them talk about how the right has created a billion-dollar internet ecosystem of podcasts. Oh, right.
But imagine that. But imagine that.

Speaker 1 Like, as if there's some fucking grand conspiracy where a bunch of people just speak freely. So the right has organized this.
And he was comparing it to, like, radicalizing Islamists. Wow.
He was

Speaker 1 literally comparing it to, like, young, confused people get radicalized. And his take on it is that they could be brought towards feminism.
No, we're just trying to sell tickets. I will say this.

Speaker 1 Work politics has extremely helped all of us here. Here, here.
Work politics has been very bad. Them coming after us has just raised us up hella.
It also makes you realize you have to say something.

Speaker 1 You have to say something because they're so insane.

Speaker 1 You did that on purpose, dude. You're a cocksucker.
He says hella, and he says it fucking wrong. Hella.
No, no, I said it right there. Come on, you boomer.
How does he say it?

Speaker 1 He doesn't know.

Speaker 1 He's East Coast. I'm West Coast.
Yeah, whatever.

Speaker 1 You're taking, what, Oakland? You live in New York. Yeah, but I have ties.
You're from Maryland. No, no, no, no, no, no.
You're East Coast. You're from Britain.

Speaker 1 No, none of that. No, I lived in L.A.
for a long time. I became a man in L.A.
It didn't work. Lost opportunity there?

Speaker 1 Really? No, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I took the hymen. Turned up your uncle.
Yeah. You know, man, you lost me.
How old were you when I met you, Ari? You were like 24. I was 24, but the development of a fucking 16-year-old.

Speaker 1 You were an odd fellow. 24? Just out of religion.
I didn't know anything. Well, those old photos of you, you were hideous.
How old were you the first time I took you on the road? 27, 28.

Speaker 1 Jeez, what was 80? But that 28 was like, really, it was like 22. Wow.
I was just undeveloped. Because of the Diaz story.
Oh, yeah. Diaz just wouldn't.
He wouldn't show up.

Speaker 1 So you want to hire him as a person. So instead of just firing your opener, who just wouldn't cut...
Joe would be at the airport. Be like, Joey, where are you? He goes, off.

Speaker 1 I'm almost there. In bed, not even getting out of bed.

Speaker 1 And then eventually Joe was like, fucking, I don't have an opener again. Instead of just firing Joey, he goes, I guess I'll take two people now.
Wow.

Speaker 1 So it's either one or two, depending on Joey's showing. It was too much fun when Joey showed it.
It really was. And I knew, I had a good friend who was a junkie in New York, my friend Johnny.

Speaker 1 And he died. Johnny the pool player? Yeah.

Speaker 1 He was my best friend.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 he died after I was only out here for a couple of years and he died. And it's really.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was in L.A. And I'd met Joey while he was still alive.
And I was like, this is the same guy. Like, he's the same kind of thing.
Get it while you can. I knew the type.

Speaker 1 I knew, like, and I missed Johnny so much after he was gone. So I was like, whatever I have to do to keep this guy around.

Speaker 1 This is Joey. Joey is still used.
He's not using it anymore. He's way healthier.
But back then, he was using

Speaker 1 sight. He was using it in a crazy way.
He was

Speaker 1 Coke. Okay.
Coke or a bunch of other stuff. One time he was like, Yeah, I did crack for six months.
I'm like, why?

Speaker 1 He goes, because the Coke dealer was like out of the way home and the crack dealer was on the way home. It was just the easiest.

Speaker 1 Joey was off the rails. But

Speaker 1 if he loved you, he was your best friend. He was like one of the best friends you could ever have if he loved you.

Speaker 1 And so I was like, I got to do whatever I got to do. So I didn't want to push him.
So I would always tell him, you know, if you ever need help, I'll help you. He knows, I don't need no fucking help.

Speaker 1 But when we would go on the road, if he would just not show up, I would say, listen.

Speaker 1 Anytime you want to go on the road with me, you're going to get paid.

Speaker 1 You can work with me anytime you want, but I'm going to bring another opening act so it's all advanced if you don't show up and it is

Speaker 1 joey's defense thank you joey for being such a cokehead i'm excited

Speaker 1 it was only like three times over the course of like 10 years yeah it's like three times okay not that bad not that bad every other weekend buddy we were like big weekends you know like and like like what a reek i was headlining at rascals in new jersey i was like shit this is a big one this is a big one and then they had to use a local garden

Speaker 1 so it's like and i was thinking i was gonna hang out with joey and then I'm hanging out with this guy, which is half of the fun of being on the road is being on the road with your friends. Of course.

Speaker 1 It's literally half. One time we were going to Pittsburgh and I had booked a commercial.
I was like, dude, I got to miss a Thursday show. And Joe was like, fuck that.
No, dude, you can't do that.

Speaker 1 Like, we had a thing. And I was like, I need this for insurance.
And he's like, no, fuck that.

Speaker 1 I'll just use somebody local. And then Thursday night, he's like, the city smells like suicide.
Come down.

Speaker 1 The local was terrible. What was the commercial? Can we watch that? Was it Activia?

Speaker 1 I think it was, I don't know which one it was. IBM, maybe or something.
Oh, wow. That's bad.
I did a lot of them. I used to do a lot of them.
Commercials were big back in the day. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Everybody wanted a commercial first. That was like the attainable.
If you got a commercial, you paid your bills. It was a substitute teaching.
Or dogwatch.

Speaker 1 And then if you got on a sitcom, that was the holy grail.

Speaker 1 Gaffigan was the Hemi guy. Remember that? Gaffigan? No, no, no, no, no.
That's John Brown.

Speaker 1 Oh, sorry. Real.
No, but Gaffigan did like 80 commercials. He did a ton of commercials.
Oh, he's got that screen. New special at 19.
First special on Hulu. Oh, no.
Is that right?

Speaker 1 Hilarious. Hilarious.
Yeah, I was going to say.

Speaker 1 That's

Speaker 1 why they're not comics, but choose how they're going to comedy promote. How about just Hulu comedy? Shut the fuck up.
Like, don't do that.

Speaker 1 Don't do that. Don't go all up in your business.
Is Joey Comedy's Hunter Biden? Ooh, Joey.

Speaker 1 Joey is

Speaker 1 a completely unique human. He's not anybody's anything.

Speaker 1 He's a one-of-a-kind. Sweet guy.
He's the best. And he's great now.
Still amazing on stage. He borrowed 200 bucks of me when I was starting and I didn't have it.
He was like, Can I borrow 200 bucks?

Speaker 1 But it was like, this is bullying for sure. And then I gave it to him.
I'm like, okay. I had to be like, all right, at least I'll never have to give that to him again.

Speaker 1 And then like four days later, he's like, here you go, thanks. Whoa.

Speaker 1 Okay. I guess we're not

Speaker 1 a movie up to him. Can I get a thousand?

Speaker 1 And then he vanishes. It's when he's going back to Colorado, he gets a thousand out of you.

Speaker 1 He'd always give it back to you.

Speaker 1 Joey's the best. He's doing sets again around town.
Beautiful. All over Jersey.
Yeah, he was supposed to be here for a weekend in December, but I think he canceled.

Speaker 1 You don't say.

Speaker 1 I think he was on for a couple of days. It's like he wants to, when he's here, he's back in the flow of things.

Speaker 1 He realizes how much he misses it, but it's hard to get the energy to fly to another state.

Speaker 1 And he's so fat. Yeah.
It's got to be tough. That's not.
He's been fatter. He's

Speaker 1 not tough. Oh, bro.
He got weird. Yeah, I didn't think he looked as.
Yeah, he's fine. When I met him, he wasn't fat at all.
When I met Joey, he was like a linebacker. He was fucking huge.

Speaker 1 He was like this big guy, like intimidating guy. He was thin, like a big barrel-chested fucking dude.
And then when he got fat, he got really funny.

Speaker 1 It's literally what happened. He stopped giving a fuck about being on TV.
He's like, this is a pipe dream. It's never going to happen.
Stopped giving a fuck about being in movies.

Speaker 1 And he just started being himself. He would do the Cubernetal.
He'd get a towel from the back that the handyman used to use, and he'd use as a cape. He'd go, dude, dude.

Speaker 1 And he'd just walk and he'd shake his pants down. Big influence on me.
He'd shake his pants down. Just

Speaker 1 plop out. His pants never fit right because his belly would push his pants down

Speaker 1 yeah yeah did you ever see my magazine my uh the the album that i've recorded in like 1999 i took a bunch of pictures of joey and they're in the album sleeve and one of them is joey buck naked with combat boots on i think he has timbalance on and he's got a cape cape and he's got this cape on but he's completely naked it was inside the album cover he's big belly hog hanging out

Speaker 1 That was fun. We used to be

Speaker 1 allowed to like show a guy's dick inside of a CD cover back then. Right.
We did it on the mail show. It came out.
It came out naked. Or like ED.
Well, we did two versions.

Speaker 1 Comedy Central insisted that we do one where Joey wasn't naked. We did.
It was fine. And then we did it with Joey came out naked and like, let's get this party started.
And it was huge.

Speaker 1 Everybody died laughing. I'm like, yeah, listen to me.

Speaker 1 I know what I'm doing here. This is, this is

Speaker 1 just a man in clothes coming out. You can't have a a show like a Joey.

Speaker 1 What is that then? If you were going to do a Joey show with today, you could not do it with any sort of a network or corporation.

Speaker 1 You'd have to do it like Gillian Keith style, or you're in control of it. Like, imagine the fucking OnlyFans Dad.
Imagine someone giving you

Speaker 1 production notes on OnlyFans Dad.

Speaker 1 Production notes are. Show me OnlyFans Dad, Jamie.
Go to OnlyFans Dad. You got to figure out a way to tell him that.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 That's such a visceral laugh. Wow,

Speaker 1 he's like the Rizzler.

Speaker 1 He looks exactly like the Rizzler. Go to OnlyFans Dad.
Was that a fun gig? No. It wasn't.
It was a disaster. I can see it.
Jamie, don't show my face. It was a disaster.
Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Because it all happened right around the same time that the Janet Jackson nipple thing happened. And so everybody panicked and all a bunch of stuff that we had gotten approved.

Speaker 1 Like a bunch of ideas. What was wrong with that? Doug had some ridiculous ideas.

Speaker 1 They blurred his cocks. But everybody was in a panic.

Speaker 1 It was just the mindset in Hollywood. It was like tone down all the outrageousness you can get in trouble.
By the way, not even that great a nipple. I didn't think her nipple was out.

Speaker 1 I thought there was a Pacy on it.

Speaker 1 No, it was a lit up. They showed the actual nipple.

Speaker 1 I think.

Speaker 1 I would have remembered. Me and my friends stood up and cheered.
Well, it was a huge scandal. If it was just a Pacy, that's crazy.
Yeah, I think it wasn't.

Speaker 1 Is there just a Pacific Pacy, it was the nipple ring, I think.

Speaker 1 No, there was no ring. Let's see it.
Don't show it on screen.

Speaker 1 Let's see it.

Speaker 1 That's a ring. Oh,

Speaker 1 that's a nipple son.

Speaker 1 That's a real nipple sign. That's a black nip.
Let's go.

Speaker 1 She's got a crazy sun on that. That's a hypnotic eyes wide shut ring.
I like it. Look at that.
They made it set up.

Speaker 1 You can see how it's going to be. But why would you have a tear away? That was a Super Bowl.
Because they wanted a Super Bowl. Show some titty.
Damn. Let's go.
Let's have some fun.

Speaker 1 Thought my mascot job was bad. So that freaked so many people out that they stopped anything controversial.
It was a quarter second. Ooh, look at Kylie or Kendra or whatever the fuck her name is.

Speaker 1 The Kardashian. And Mark's just hard.

Speaker 1 She's the hottest Kardashian, I think. Oh, yeah, I think so.
You've got choices. Well, there's so many of those whores.
Kim looks like an alien.

Speaker 1 Kim looks like a full alien. Does she? Yeah.
No, she still looks like it. She looks

Speaker 1 made in a lab.

Speaker 1 Isn't that because you know what she used to look like, or is it because she's a little bit more? No, I saw a picture of her on a billboard. I'm like, what the fuck is that?

Speaker 1 And someone's like, that's Kim Cardett. No, she's pretty.
Pretty, but like,

Speaker 1 it's like an AI.

Speaker 1 Yo, she's hot. She still looks like David.
Davidson right now.

Speaker 1 He was inside those guts. Didn't he, like, burn her name on his arm or some crazy shit? Oh, boy.

Speaker 1 I have no idea. Pete's altogether.
That sounds like a good move. Yeah.
Yeah, that's what we're causing.

Speaker 1 My bad.

Speaker 1 Two weeks later, you go, fuck. I don't know what I was thinking on that one.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and don't get any tattoos of ladies. I think Johnny Depp got Winona, and then he changed it to Wino.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He got one on his fingers, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Johnny Depp fucked Winona? Beck fucked Winona too.
No way. Buck wrote a whole album about her.
Beck was all about her. Sea Change was all about her.
Damn, forgot about Beck.

Speaker 1 What do you guys say? I don't know. Good beer.
Yeah, Sea Change was all about her. He said he couldn't write it for two years after he broke up with her.
Jesus.

Speaker 1 Everyone knows your name or something like that. It's all about, like, you fucked everyone in this town.
I got to deal with this. Whoa, Sea Change.
it was one of the greatest albums of all time.

Speaker 1 Come on. Yeah, no, it really was.
I've never heard of it. An amazing breakup album.
Beck's a weird one. Scientologist.
He's a Scientologist. Is he? Yeah.
Yeah. That's it.

Speaker 1 Me and Bobby went to see him at a Scientology show. What? Hollywood.
What's that like? I mean, it was just about the music, but only Scientologists and me and a fucking hooker fucker were around.

Speaker 1 Scientologists were a good time, though. They were great.
They were probably nuts. They were great.
They were so.

Speaker 1 They know the guy who wrote it. There's a video of him.
L. Rod.
Really? There's a video of him. He was a fucking completely insane person.
He was a completely insane.

Speaker 1 He wrote the most words in fiction ever in human history. Whoa.

Speaker 1 More than Shakespeare.

Speaker 1 More than everyone. He never got a second draft.
It was just science fiction. This motherfucker is gibberish.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. It's not just

Speaker 1 a shit. Oh, really? Oh, it's horrible.

Speaker 1 His science fiction is horrible. It was like a bestseller.
He was huge. No, no, no.
No. Not really.
Dianetics was a bestseller.

Speaker 1 He just posted a lot of these crazy science fiction stories in these magazines and books that they used to be like monthly publications in the 50s and the 60s but he had that machine too what was that machine that the e-meter e-meter yeah that's all nonsense it's just it's just two it's just two cans with a string yeah

Speaker 1 i did it they pulled it off i did it yeah i did it you did it i was in san diego how clear were you i was i'm clear as fuck bro no

Speaker 1 we don't need you you're good the dude i could tell it was really kind of like he was super unmotivated he was a guy who was a member who they're forcing to go and try to like recruit people.

Speaker 1 And I was out there filming for a television show in San Diego. And so I went to this, they had like a thing in the park.
And I just went, oh, we had downtime. So I'm like, what are you guys doing?

Speaker 1 And he's like, oh, you know, Dianetics, this and that. Have you ever had your e-meter tested? Whatever? Fired up.
I got time. I started.

Speaker 1 I was asking the dude a bunch of questions.

Speaker 1 I was high. So I was asking the dude

Speaker 1 a ton of questions. Just like, what is this? You were high, they were probably getting you.

Speaker 1 Where did you learn all this stuff from? Like,

Speaker 1 what's the story behind your religion? I started asking. And you could tell the dude just didn't want to do it.

Speaker 1 He was not interested in recruiting anybody. He was just like, I have to do it.
Going for the credits? You have to do it. Yeah, he's cool credits.
But the problem is you got nothing to hide.

Speaker 1 All those Scientology queefs are all hiding something. Dude, I went.

Speaker 1 How much of it is the gay? I went with Natasha Legero, went down to the one in Hawaii, Vermont. Just be gay.
And we went in there. You watch a video.
It's all like mid-level 80s actors.

Speaker 1 And then they say this book is for ages 8 to 8,008. And I'm like, what does that mean? The guy's like, don't worry about it.
Fucking nothing. Yeah.
I'm like, well, no, what's 8008?

Speaker 1 Well, it's more. You're not ready for that.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 and then they go, can we get your address so we can send you more stuff? And I was like, oh, I don't know. Like, let me just get your address.
I'm like, okay. And Natasha's like, what are you doing?

Speaker 1 What are you doing? What are you doing? Don't talk, don't, don't talk. Bobby Lee's address.

Speaker 1 My name is Bobby Lee.

Speaker 1 Lee could be a white guy. You can be a Bobby Lee.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Robert E. They were sending me shit for a solid age.

Speaker 1 They were sending me shit for a solid decade.

Speaker 1 You know who I still get calls from? The fucking Ivermectin people. Nice.
For four years. What do they want?

Speaker 1 They want me to buy more drugs.

Speaker 1 I'm like, I'm not going to buy it. They go, it could come back.
Do you know how risky? Shut up.

Speaker 1 How much of a risk taker do you have to be to say, what else you got? What else you sell? I'm still getting hit up by Tim Walls. I get texts.
What's Tim up to? They want more money. He needs money.

Speaker 1 They lost a lot of money. That's

Speaker 1 $20 million in the whole.

Speaker 1 Bro, they blew a billion dollars. Tim Wall's the vice presidential candidate.
Oh, the other one. Yeah.
Yeah. The vice.

Speaker 1 He's the vice. The fake hunter, fake football coach.
He's a fucking fuck up, full-on liar. Lying about football is crazy.
Lying about everything is crazy.

Speaker 1 That's Shane Stolen Valor. That's his most.

Speaker 1 I didn't care about lying about

Speaker 1 going to war or going to war

Speaker 1 or being in Tiananmen Square. That was a wild.
Bro, he lied about everything. He lied.

Speaker 1 He was being a head coach. And you were a fucking dork assistant.
Yeah, you're carrying water. Remember, Hillary Clinton did it, too, with Benghazi, right? She was like, I was there, we're under fire.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Who's Benghazi?

Speaker 1 She's kind of a minute.

Speaker 1 McDonald's was a lie, too, wasn't it? Yeah, that was a lie, too. Not only that, but they

Speaker 1 photoshopped her face on an existing photograph of a girl from the 1980s that did work at McDonald's, and it was a white girl. So they photoshopped Kamala's face.

Speaker 1 Just some internet jackass did it, I'm sure, and said, oh, we have proof. But they were trying to pass it off as it was real.
But why is working McDonald's good?

Speaker 1 Because it's victiming, it's like the lowest level, it's the lowest level job. But why is that? Who cares?

Speaker 1 In these days, when you don't all brag about yourself.

Speaker 1 You came from McDonald's to the president, it's pretty sick.

Speaker 1 Also, when you're a person who's like trying to con their way into a job where you're going to make an insane amount of money, it's really cool to say, Start it from the bottom now. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I see. I see.
Start it from the bottom now. Shout out to your schools here.

Speaker 1 I talked to some Puerto Ricans about a gentleman for the block. Oh.

Speaker 1 And she was like, I get a ham sandwich with Fanta. If you know, you know.
And then they're like, Dressher was like, that's not a thing.

Speaker 1 What are you talking about?

Speaker 1 What are you talking about? You heard it from someone. I got a ham sandwich with Fanta.
She's been famous for 80 years. She doesn't even know what it means to be normal.

Speaker 1 Why are you pretending you know it? You were a fly girl. They all love pretending.

Speaker 1 Everyone wants to be real. Yeah.
It's hard. You feel insecure if you've made it too far.
You shouldn't go later.

Speaker 1 No, my dad was an academic and I grew up in wealth, so that's why I'm smarter than everybody. Well, I knew friends who worked at McDonald's, they would hide it.
They're like, don't worry about it.

Speaker 1 That's a very R take on things, though. Yeah.
You're well-trained. No, it is fun to be like, oh, sorry, my dad worked hard.

Speaker 1 You're talking about it. Sorry, your dad was a fucking loser.

Speaker 1 My dad worked really hard. Really hard.

Speaker 1 Good luck with that. It's also

Speaker 1 a damp that you'll never understand the struggle because you never had to struggle. That's what it is.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she really blew it. My favorite is multi-million dollar Hollywood saying it's hard.
It's terrible.

Speaker 1 what did you get

Speaker 1 did i miss it

Speaker 1 get it i should have known it wasn't it's over it's got to redo it

Speaker 1 i was listening to it like it was a statement i should have known i should have known better she blew it and she lost the election oh i get it all right

Speaker 1 that was a blowjob joke

Speaker 1 joke there's a bunch of those out there willie brown dude i bet she fucks

Speaker 1 really good in her prime

Speaker 1 that's what i was getting at

Speaker 1 yeah she was hot when she was young i bet she fucked oh yeah there's uh videos of of her with Montel Williams. Yeah.
She was hot. Oh, yeah.
Mountaintop. Is that your daughter, they said?

Speaker 1 Oh, that was with Willie Brown. It's like, no.
She got real mad. No.
This is funny. That was funny.
She's working her way up. That's something to brag about.
Listen, man, it's a strategy.

Speaker 1 Why is that any less of a strategy than a pharmaceutical executive strategy? Yeah. It's the same.

Speaker 1 Why is it like using your good looks to your advantage and making your way into a political system that's fucking completely corrupt?

Speaker 1 Why is that negative? Matt Reif did it? Yeah, he did. Use those looks.
Why not? He did. Smart move.
Yeah, he's hot. It's pretty shocking.
Adrian Appalucci has a special.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but that just shows you how funny she is.

Speaker 1 It shows you how funny she is. Joey Diaz, buddy.

Speaker 1 She's lost a lot of weight. Has she? Yeah, she's lost a lot of weight.
Big mistake. Fat as funny.
She's still fat. She's still fat.
She's still getting rock.

Speaker 1 She's still holding it. But she's not ass.
Not as. She's

Speaker 1 a category of not as. Funny lady.
Oh, she rules. She's fearless.
Goes for it. Just goes for it.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 I think she doesn't give a fuck. She doesn't give a fuck.
I don't think she understands to give a fuck. Like, she actually doesn't care.

Speaker 1 It's pretty great. When people walk out of anger, she goes, Yeah, I guess I get it.

Speaker 1 She's moving here. No way.
Fuck her. She's been loving it so far.

Speaker 1 Yeah. We talked her into it.
Ari helped me. He reached out to me.
He said, you got to talk to Adrian into moving here. And I had her on the claw.
Well, she was already convinced.

Speaker 1 She was like, she was already connected. She told Rogan on me that I might be like, yeah.
I tried to get her to pressure you. Yeah, she's funny, man.
We need more.

Speaker 1 And she's funny in a different way. Like, she's got her own vibe.
She's not like anybody else.

Speaker 1 It's fun. Yeah.
I like her. It's so like both sides.
Fuck both of you.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yep.
Yep. Fuck everybody.
And just serious. Never smiles once on stage.
Nah, from the Bronx. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. The reviews of her special is either I haven't seen it yet or it's great.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's awesome. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Her mom was a comic. Oh, shit.
Yeah. Oh, that's right.
Yeah. She told me that story.
Really? Oh, geez.

Speaker 1 Who booked you that?

Speaker 1 Oh, no. Oh, God.
That's tough. Didn't her mom start doing it again after she'd been doing it a while? Didn't her mom try to do it again? Naive.

Speaker 1 Am I remembering that right? Oof. That's tough.
Imagine going to a club, see your mom there. You're like, God.
Bro, it's probably better than your dad. Yeah.
If your dad sucked as a comic.

Speaker 1 My dad thinks he's really funny and he was

Speaker 1 funny. My dad's very funny, but he was like,

Speaker 1 put me in tires. he was like joking

Speaker 1 i would tell my mom like my mom was like just put him in this show i'm like i'm not putting my fucking dad in this show why no no i don't know if he could ask well no you gotta give like you gotta give like one line like that it doesn't work like that you gotta get him out of there go start dead body i would like that but then he had a heart attack so he's on the sidelines for a while is he all right yeah he's good all right but he's bad he's not allowed to drink which is tough to watch the old man poor guy having Watching him fucking sit there watching football.

Speaker 1 You got to get out of the weed. He's so sober.
Damn, you got to get it a weed.

Speaker 1 He's working his way back so he can drink. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's an exception. He's just like, literally,

Speaker 1 he's working on his heart so he has to do like cardio. Like he just goes on long walks.

Speaker 1 Just so he can drink it. Just so he can drink.

Speaker 1 It started so fucking for Phil Gill. So crazy.
He's like, I need my poison. I need it.
I'll do whatever I'm going to do.

Speaker 1 Dude, he was in the hospital. My mom didn't tell me how bad it was to not freak us out.
And then I got there and he was like fucking like,

Speaker 1 like he had fluid in his lungs so they couldn't operate. So he was like, this could be it.
And we're sitting there and they were like, yeah, well, you're going to have to stop drinking.

Speaker 1 And he was like,

Speaker 1 68 years old

Speaker 1 at a hell of a run. I was like, yeah, dude.

Speaker 1 What? It was a nice, like, no, a hell of a run with drinking. It was just very nice to be like.
Yes, you did, bro.

Speaker 1 Hell of a run. Get him on edibles.

Speaker 1 Get him started at least. Give him an option.
I don't know how I'll handle it. It'll be fun.

Speaker 1 This is you get you start him with a five-milligram, just a little jammy that gives you a little smile on your face.

Speaker 1 Makes the colors a little brighter. Give him a couple to get started.
Makes you want to hold people.

Speaker 1 Give him a couple to get started. They'd still do that.

Speaker 1 I know he's going to pass for 5,000 yards. Yeah, maybe he'll have good intuition.
Oh, yeah. He might have like some.
He's skinny now. He's walking around.

Speaker 1 He's in hell, dude. He's in hell.
He's stuck in the house with my mom all day. She loves it.
Is he eating healthy? Yeah, he has to.

Speaker 1 We'll catch him we'll catch him

Speaker 1 his his burgers he's making

Speaker 1 he's eating them at night

Speaker 1 by the way he actually is

Speaker 1 like you'll be over there you'll see him at the fridge like

Speaker 1 give me that g daddy oh he goes in there eats and then pulls out one water rolls the car in neutral out of the driveway starts it on the street so he can go off the burgers he's doing it overnight he's eating like drum

Speaker 1 he's dude is that area pushing it

Speaker 1 starting at the neighbor's house it was what he was eating eating when I got home.

Speaker 1 The last time I went home to see him, he was literally standing at the counter eating a cheeseburger, and I was like, bro. Damn.
He's like, what?

Speaker 1 He's got to have something. He needs a vice.

Speaker 1 The boy's working his way back to beer.

Speaker 1 He's lost weight. That's good.
You should have him on. Phil on.
Phil on. Phil on.
He's got some good stories.

Speaker 1 I bet he does. But then he's like, look, I've been in the JRE.
Tires is next. Tires ought to be on Tires.
Tires is next. Come on.
It's a likely second step.

Speaker 1 Wait about all you garbage. That business got some stories.
He was fucking garbage.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 He was awesome. Fuck.
He was from like a, he lived in like a... He went on all your garbage? No, no.
I'm just saying. Oh, I thought you were serious.
He probably did go on all your garbage.

Speaker 1 The island of Puerto Rico should go on all your garbage. You son of a bitch.

Speaker 1 We got to remove that from the internet. No, I love Puerto Rico.
San Juan, baby.

Speaker 1 That's the Tony joke. What a wild.
The fucked up thing is that joke was based on his need to like... He gets freaked out about the environment.
He gets freaked out about the pollution pattern.

Speaker 1 We were super high. We were super high in the green room.
He's like, dude,

Speaker 1 he's like, how long have there been plastic? There's only been plastic for six years. It's bigger than fucking Texas.

Speaker 1 And so he sits getting obsessed by garbage, and then he finds out about Puerto Rico. And so then he comes up with this joke: there's an island of garbage.
I think it's called Puerto Rico. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But the joke was actually out of his concern that Puerto Rico

Speaker 1 is smothered by garbage. He actually loves Puerto Rico.
He's trying to protect our parks.

Speaker 1 He's a retard. He's just a retar.
He's a a male guy. He doesn't understand.

Speaker 1 People don't know the whole backstory of that joke. They know there's a joke about Puerto Rico.
You're doing it in a fucking truck route. You should have defended him.

Speaker 1 You should have come out and just been like, he's retarded.

Speaker 1 That would have been the right word. I kind of did.
I mean, I basically said that. Like, this is where it came from.
Like, Tony's just, he's a fucking insult comic.

Speaker 1 He's the best insult comic in the country. If you want to watch that roast, watch that Tom Brady Roast.
That was so funny watching Johnson.

Speaker 1 That's terrible.

Speaker 1 props to Stewart. I talked to Stewart.

Speaker 1 Stewart to her. He's a real comic.
Stewart's like, he's a funny guy. Yeah.
It was wild also that they saw that joke and everyone was angry within one minute.

Speaker 1 And it's like, no, nothing to like, let me analyze the arts. Let me just figure out what this is.
But instantly, I know what it is. I'm done with it.

Speaker 1 It's just demeaning to like everything that's happening. It's exactly what we were talking about earlier that does happen to people where they can become someone else, but Stewart has not done that.

Speaker 1 He still

Speaker 1 goes on stage with Chappelle. He still goes on stage with Chappelle.
He still does podcasts. He's very reasonable when he does them.

Speaker 1 I think he also got disillusioned by that fucking Apple gig where they canceled his show because he wouldn't do it. He was wanting to do a thing on China.
And they're like, no fucking way. Really?

Speaker 1 And that was it.

Speaker 1 China.

Speaker 1 You can't talk shit about China. You can't even tell the truth.
You can't say if you're on an Apple show and Apple has this insane manufacturing deal with China.

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Speaker 1 Think about that

Speaker 1 slave labor. It's the craziest thing that is virtue signaling people like Schultz.

Speaker 1 Anytime the liberals get at you, just go, using an iPhone? Fuck off.

Speaker 1 Shut your mouth. Go get a Samsung if you really care.
Yeah, didn't make John Cena. He had to do a whole thing.
Remember that? Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that was fascinating.

Speaker 1 He nailed it. Nailed it.
Got the

Speaker 1 language down. That's when I was shit in the streets before he did.
I had a bit about that for a while.

Speaker 1 That's when I knew that China was going to win because they already got our mascot. They got our guy.
He's the most American-looking guy ever. That's true.
Cena fucking rules. Wearing scarf.

Speaker 1 He's awesome. His wrists are so big, he looks like his forearm is fake.
He looks fake. It's crazy.
It looks like his arm should be way longer, but they moved his hand up his forearm.

Speaker 1 Like, he's got no. It does look like that.

Speaker 1 They're hams.

Speaker 1 Damn. That's the downtown community's bro.
He is the number one downtown driver. I've seen it, bro.
Hitting a fucking salute, running in in jean shorts, fucking people up.

Speaker 1 He's Mr. Make-A-Wish.
He is.

Speaker 1 I'll bet, man. I bet.
Zena.

Speaker 1 I didn't like with Tony with all the comics weighing in. That really was the best.

Speaker 1 You're always going to have that from weak people that aren't happy with where they are. That's what it is.
Oh, so people are waiting to jump on Tony. That's it.
That's it.

Speaker 1 Now that he can't fight back, I'll jump in there. Right, exactly.
They never shit on some low-level guy. He's doing great.
And you cannot like him if he's doing great.

Speaker 1 He's like, hey, he's a low-level guy.

Speaker 1 If I go to an open mic and be like, this racist piece of shit. You're allowed to not like him if he's doing great.
If you're attacking him, you don't know what he was doing.

Speaker 1 You don't know what he was doing. He was just doing what he always does.
He's an insult comedy. Are you saying you don't like insult comedy? So you don't like roasts.
So say that two months ago.

Speaker 1 Why are you saying it right now? Listen, man, roasts are one of the things that's going to save comedy because they're so funny that it's undeniable to Netflix.

Speaker 1 So, Netflix gets the highest ratings they've ever had ever on this Tom Brady roast. It's completely non-PC.
It's some of the wildest jokes. Tony calls him a Confederate fag.

Speaker 1 Like, it's some of the wildest, and it's killing, and it's so funny, and people love it, and they keep sharing it, and people keep sending it to their friends, and clips are made out of it.

Speaker 1 It's huge for Netflix. Without that, you don't get the freedom to do whatever the fuck you want on stage.
I make fun of Tony a lot, but that was

Speaker 1 like a nice moment. I was sitting there.
Gangster. when he did the roasts.
He killed it. And I gave him a joke right before, and this is how in the pocket he was because he stood up from the table.

Speaker 1 I was like, how loud?

Speaker 1 Started.

Speaker 1 I was like genuinely happy. I was like watching him fucking kill.
And then the joke I gave him,

Speaker 1 I gave it to him right before

Speaker 1 he went on. I don't want to say.
All right, Puerto Rico. It was an insult personally at one of the comedians.

Speaker 1 I was like, tell that motherfucker. Oh, shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 So then,

Speaker 1 I pretty much know already then. Oh, yeah, I know too.
Nikki Blair's the horror. Shut it down now.
Suck up, Mark. No, we don't give you trash, Nikki.
I love Nikki. I like Nikki too.

Speaker 1 No, I actually do. I do.
I do too. I love Nikki.
Right before he tells the joke, he literally looked over at me. He was like,

Speaker 1 I was like, yes.

Speaker 1 Nice. And to go up from the audience like that, that ain't easy.

Speaker 1 You know, they wanted him to do a set seated. And he was like, this is stupid.
See, they didn't respect him. And his door guy, like, no, you're not one of the cool kids.
So it's like, dude, fuck off.

Speaker 1 Just let the guy shine. Wow, there's a lot of resistance to him with the power.

Speaker 1 A lot of resistance to that hinchcliffe fellow. So much butts in here.
Fuck. Well, just say you're mad he's at a Trump rally.
That, all right, that I get.

Speaker 1 Okay, why are you going to use the joke as a vehicle to get angry?

Speaker 1 Because that's both both things. The joke is nothing but the fact that if the joke just released on YouTube, eh, people would get mad.

Speaker 1 Maybe the Kamala Harris camp would use it to show that this guy's a Trump supporter, but it's not connected to Trump. The fact that it's at the Trump rally, which is so crazy that he did it.

Speaker 1 They should have never.

Speaker 1 But they're also waiting. It's like Alexander Cortaz-Cortasio is sitting there going.

Speaker 1 Who?

Speaker 1 Alexander Cortaz-Cortasio? Yeah.

Speaker 1 She had been doing that Duolingo shit. She's sitting there waiting, like, what can I be angry about? And she's like, that's why.

Speaker 1 That's not the target market. They're trying to win, man.

Speaker 1 They're looking at it like they should be reasonable. Why would they be reasonable when they're trying to win? They want to exploit every last possible thing.
And Tony gave him a bunch of rope. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And they hung him. Well, they were already calling it a fucking Nazi rally.
Right. Right.
And then you have a comedian go up there that probably a lot of them had no idea who he was. Sure.
Right.

Speaker 1 Even like the people talking about it. And then he's, I mean, the fucking watermelon carving joke.
That was the one that should have been. That was so stupid.
That was stupid. That was an improv.

Speaker 1 I know. You could tell.

Speaker 1 He's like, he fucking. Oh, that was fucking dumb.

Speaker 1 I gave him that one. I thought it was funny.
I don't know. Well, yeah, at a comedy club, yeah.
At a comedy club rally. At a fucking roast bow.
I like it's a comedy club. He graded a roast bow.

Speaker 1 Yeah, once they made it a Nazi rally, then it's like, well, nothing is going to work here to you guys. It's a full drug.
A lot of fucking

Speaker 1 Israeli flags at a Nazi rally. I saw four Israeli flags hanging from the rafters.
Yeah, there were Israeli flags that people brought. The whole idea that that was a Nazi rally.

Speaker 1 That's just pro-genocide. No one believes it, man.
That's why they're not talking about it. You might have to flag that one.
Pull that one out. But yes, there's a guy giving it up now.

Speaker 1 I like when the comics do, like, when they'll try to defend somebody, but they're so scared of the backlash. They go, look, I didn't like that joke, but it's his right to say it.
It's like, bro,

Speaker 1 comments on that, you don't like jokes. How about when Patton took a picture with Chappelle and he had to take a photo of him writing an apology on a piece of paper? That was weak.

Speaker 1 I think he felt really bad about that. He did.
That was the height of all that. He felt pressure.
He felt bad about that. Wait a week, let the pressure go away.
Then if you have to, weigh in.

Speaker 1 Well, the internet coming at you is scary. People panic.
Yeah, Yeah, don't read it. Tony handled it really well.
So hard now. He goes, Don't read it.
Fuck off. And then just not another word about it.

Speaker 1 I had to read the thing about the view because I just thought it was funny. What's that? That's the only reason why I read that about me.
Dragon lovers.

Speaker 1 I was trying to say that I believe in dragons. Wait, what is this?

Speaker 1 He said, I checked it. I checked it.
And the lady goes, did you double-check this? She goes, I checked it. He believes in dragons.
She'd be like, they lived alongside of people.

Speaker 1 Wait, it was from a wildlife biologist who came on my podcast. It was some Forrest Gallant.
Gallante? Gallant. How do I say his last name? Great guy.
I love him. He's awesome.
But he's saying

Speaker 1 there are

Speaker 1 J-Mo, let's do it. Jamie, you have a clip.
See if you can find Forrest's clip where he's explaining dragons. Not that Jamie looks like a Mexican.

Speaker 1 This is where it came from.

Speaker 1 The view decided from this and from me talking about it with Adrian Appalucci the other day, explaining what Forrest says and saying that I don't think that there was pterodactyls living with people.

Speaker 1 I said it, no. She said, maybe they did live with this.
I'm like, no.

Speaker 1 position is it's probably crocodiles or some big Komodo dragon or some big lizard that did kill people.

Speaker 1 And so people fought them with swords and shit, and they came back with a story, and then the artist drew it. And these things.
You saw one of those at night and you had a stick?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it'd be like a photo of a pterodactyl. All throughout these same periods.
I'm just Joe Rogan and a unicorn. All throughout these same time periods, there's been giant lizards.

Speaker 1 All throughout these same time periods, there have been Komodo dragons.

Speaker 1 There have been crocodiles that have been here for fucking hundreds of million years or whatever they've been for, probably more.

Speaker 1 So the idea that

Speaker 1 people didn't encounter giant reptiles is stupid. And then there's the other thing is like people were really bad at describing things that they'd never seen before.

Speaker 1 So, if you're a European traveler and you go to the Nile River and you see a fucking crocodile with a crocodile

Speaker 1 take a guy, yeah, what is that? What the fuck? What is that?

Speaker 1 What is that? So, let's

Speaker 1 hold any weight?

Speaker 1 There's actually dragons?

Speaker 6 I mean, we know there were large flying lizards during the times of dinosaurs, right?

Speaker 7 The only weight that it could possibly hold is that a few of those somehow survived much later than we previously thought.

Speaker 6 But do I think that there were dragons attacking human beings and civilizations? No, I don't.

Speaker 1 Jeez,

Speaker 1 it's so much cooler if there were.

Speaker 1 The fact that we know that pterodactyls did exist, that's cool. It would be way cooler as if they existed with people.

Speaker 7 Right, 2,000 years ago.

Speaker 1 Why is that? Why is that so much cooler to us? I don't know.

Speaker 1 It's like, I would be, I would, I mean, people would dedicate giant chunks of their life trying to find out if pterodactyls did coexist with human beings.

Speaker 1 I swear, I thought you had pterodactyls on your shirt there, and I was like, Yeah, this is the most autistic. That's hilarious.

Speaker 1 I think that's why I can't act like that. The problem is, you're taking Joey Beher or whatever her name is, as like a

Speaker 1 news source.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, this is the most important part.

Speaker 1 Hey, this is the most important part. This is right after she was saying, We are run by ABC News.
You should trust us, not Joe Rogan, who believes in dragons.

Speaker 1 So she,

Speaker 1 by saying we should trust them because they're double-checked by ABC News, and then making the stupidest fucking statement. Like you're you're you didn't listen to what I said.

Speaker 1 You didn't listen to what the wildlife bowl, and that's only a part of what he said. I can't believe that.

Speaker 1 The other part of what he said was there was something before that where he was explaining encounters with giant reptiles.

Speaker 1 I mean, there's also, listen, it doesn't make sense to me that a middle-aged woman could be dumb when you're worried about losing your job and you're worried about podcasts taking over and who's the source of news.

Speaker 1 And we said Donald Trump is Hitler, but half the country disagreed with us and he won and this is fucking crazy. And Joe Roger believes in dragons.

Speaker 1 It's just frantic.

Speaker 1 If you believe that Donald Trump is Hitler and everyone who supports him is a massive racist, and if you are any ethnic or gay, you need to get the fuck out of this country.

Speaker 1 Because if you believe all that, it's bad for you here. But Sonny Hostin, she makes some good points.
Who's that? She's the other one. That's not going to clip well.
I'm just saying, like,

Speaker 1 if they really believe us, what are you still doing here? Jamie, there's a photo that I have on my Instagram. You got to start drinking, Ari.
I'm drinking.

Speaker 1 Jamie, there's a photo I have on my Instagram of a whale that's on a wall in an old Italian church. It was from like 2017 or 2018.

Speaker 1 I was in Rovello, and there's this church that's, it's so old, the church is a thousand years old, but it's built on top of another church, and they don't even know how old that church is.

Speaker 1 There's like a glass floor, and you look down, you see the old church.

Speaker 1 They have no idea how old it is. But they had a painting of like the whale from the Bible.
Who is it? Job? Who is it?

Speaker 1 Jonah. Jonah, Jonah.
Jonah. That's right.
Jonah. So look at this photo.
This is this ancient, ancient church, but there's a photo of a whale that's in, is it in that? Where's Reflector?

Speaker 1 It's around the same time. I know I put the photo on Instagram.
Oh, Italy. That's the church.
But in that church, the whale doesn't look nothing like a whale. The whale looks like a monster.

Speaker 1 So that's what it's like. Here we go.
Their drawings was like, they came back and described, those fucking mercenaries couldn't draw.

Speaker 1 So the guys who came by, the savages, the fucking animals that were hacking off heads in the Congo,

Speaker 1 they're not drawing. I've been real busy pillaging.
They're explaining it to an artist.

Speaker 1 And then the artist draws it, and they could probably barely remember because it's probably so traumatic.

Speaker 1 A 16-foot crocodile comes launching out of the river and takes one of your boys and eats them in front of everybody. It's like, wow, that's it.
So that's what they thought a whale looked like.

Speaker 1 A whale?

Speaker 1 That's a crocodile. That's a crazy cross.

Speaker 1 That is the story from the Bible.

Speaker 1 They had never seen a whale before, so they drew this thing. I mean, look how

Speaker 1 bad they got the guy.

Speaker 1 I mean, they knew what guys looked like and they were struggling. Yeah, they weren't good artists.
It looks like an alien monkey. They're doing it in tile, in all defense.

Speaker 1 It's a very difficult medium to work with. What's a higher prime rate thing?

Speaker 1 Look at that guy. Isn't that wild, though? So that is what

Speaker 1 we're doing. So their version of things that we know what looked like were all fucked up already.
So that's probably what dragons are. What dragons are probably giant crocodiles? There you go.

Speaker 1 And there's some people that went to the Congo in the 1800s that said they saw crocodiles bigger than their boats, 40-foot boats, and crocodiles were bigger than their boats.

Speaker 1 The thing about crocodiles is

Speaker 1 they don't die. They just stay alive until something kills them.
So they keep growing. So if you got a crocodile, it could be 300, 400 years old.
And that would be like a 60-foot crocodile. And

Speaker 1 they might have seen those people. They get that old.
And that's when people had guns, right? So the people with the guns are probably killing all the ones that are really big.

Speaker 1 So those ones that are really big, they've been eating other crocodiles. They've eaten everything.
They cannibalize each other. They eat everything that moves.

Speaker 1 So to get to that point is so hard that when you whack those dudes, the ones that are left are like 30 years old, 50 years old. Like, you'll probably have smaller crocodiles.
It kind of makes sense.

Speaker 1 That's probably what dragons were. Probably were a bunch of people that never experienced crocodiles before and just got fucked up by these 20-foot crocs.

Speaker 1 Imagine seeing that and not knowing what it is. Dude, what does Joey Behar say?

Speaker 1 Whatever. Joey Behar.

Speaker 1 When people tell her, like, hey, so

Speaker 1 that's not true. I just want to say for the record, I have no hate for Joey Behar.
If I saw her, I'd give her a hug. I don't care.
I'd probably say the same thing about me if I was her.

Speaker 1 It's no big deal. I don't care.
But it's a silly thing to say, and it undermines your own personal credibility

Speaker 1 if you say we're so good because we're supported by ABC News, and then you say Joe Rogan believes in dragons in the next sentence. And no chess, she comes back and goes, oh, guys, I was wrong.

Speaker 1 Sorry, told me the wrong thing. If it was a joke, that would be fun.
I know she wasn't joking, but it would be hilarious.

Speaker 1 But Joe Rogan, the guy who fucking believes in dragons, I wonder if there were some kind of flying lizards at one point in human history.

Speaker 1 You know, if like, if you go, well, this is what the Bigfoot myth is about. The Bigfoot myth is about a thing that really existed.
It's called Gigantopithecus, but it lived like 100,000 years ago.

Speaker 1 So by the time, at least we think it did, we know for sure no later than, I mean, later than that, for sure, 100,000 years ago, we don't know earlier. It might have been earlier.

Speaker 1 It might have lived 50,000 years ago. We just don't have an example of it.
But that was a thing that was passed on in stories. It's dead now.
It doesn't exist anymore.

Speaker 1 But people were telling a story about a thing that was real. That's probably what dragons are.
It's probably people telling a story about a thing that was real.

Speaker 1 And if 100, 200,000 years ago, there were some reptiles that could fly, we know that pterodactyls were fucking real. If they just find one of those things, it would change everything.

Speaker 1 And you got to realize, they've only been finding dinosaurs for 200 years.

Speaker 1 200 years ago, they didn't know what the fucking. When the Jews started burying those bones.

Speaker 1 Well, there were a bunch of dudes who had fake dinosaur bones. They were trying to trick us.
Don't attack us. It's been nice weather today.

Speaker 1 You know, there were a bunch of dudes who put like other bones and claimed they were dinosaur bones. There was a bunch of frauds and those dinosaurs.
There were no Jewish dudes.

Speaker 1 I heard there's money in bones. Jamie,

Speaker 1 when did they discover dinosaurs? All right, you look like a a pterodactyl.

Speaker 1 Imagine discovering dinosaurs, going, oh, is this still around? I think most of them are at the White House.

Speaker 1 Pelosi, get out.

Speaker 1 She just filed for re-election.

Speaker 1 She's like 79. She's 84.
84 with those. She just fired for.
Yeah. Pretty huge.
Cancer.

Speaker 1 1824. Okay, so exactly.
Exactly 200 years ago, they found the first dinosaur. Damn.
So I haven't known about dinosaurs for 200 years. Wow.

Speaker 1 And there's a giant chunk of the planet that has not been discovered.

Speaker 1 We had a podcast the other day. They've only looked at 5% of sub-Saharan Africa.
They find whale bones in the Sahara Desert. That's pretty cool.
Whale bones in the desert.

Speaker 1 Who knows what the fuck's out there? It's not impossible to imagine that since there used to be flying lizards, at one point in time there were. 1677, someone discovered it?

Speaker 1 1677, someone created with discovering the first dinosaur bone, but his best guess as to what belonged to was a a giant human. Oh, wow.
Wow.

Speaker 1 So funny to find like a giant female and be like, damn, that guy was huge. That's my favorite conspiracy.
Giants. That giants used to roam the earth.

Speaker 1 And that, you know, they were created by the Anunnaki breeding with people. I believe it.

Speaker 1 I'm down. And that the government, the Smithsonian, has been hiding giant bones.
You know, they made Yao Ming. They got the two tallest people in China to fuck.
No. That's a good move.
Yeah, for real.

Speaker 1 But that's a good move. Yao Zing.
I mean, how many fucking Division I football players are out there because their parents said, listen, you're a big lady.

Speaker 1 I'm a big guy. I think we can make some kids that can make us some fucking money.
Let's go.

Speaker 1 See, you're paying a few.

Speaker 1 If you're really into football and you're a big fella and you see this big lady at the bar with some nice hands, like, look at those hands. I need hands.
Yeah. I need a lady with a grip.

Speaker 1 I need a lady on fucking mitt. If you have a lady and she's tall, but she's got some dainty hands, you could have a brittle kid.
Yeah, you have a big brittle kid. You don't want a brittle boy.

Speaker 1 I believe in giants. I saw a fucking, I went to an NBA game and I met Zach Eady.

Speaker 1 Yeah. J-Mo.
Bring up Zach Edie. Edie.
If you saw that guy, if you lived back then and saw a guy like fucking Zach Edie. Oh, yeah.
Women Yama. Fuck, don't fuck with those

Speaker 1 people. What's that guy, the mountain, from Game of Thrones? Bro, how about Shaq? Just Shaq.
Shash is a legitimate chipper.

Speaker 1 He's a seven-foot human. He used to come over to the store, and it was like, he's only 10 inches taller than me, but he's

Speaker 1 a terrible. Hello.

Speaker 1 Yeah. What is he? Siberian or something? He looks like Mongol.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. He looks

Speaker 1 he's

Speaker 1 funky. Oh, this isn't Yao Ming.
Who's this guy? That's Jack Edie. Oh.
He plays for the Sixers? What is his nationality?

Speaker 1 He looks a little Chinese. Nationality, I believe he's an American, bro.
Yeah, but. Right, but what is his family's background? Oh, never mind.
He's Toronto, eh? Oh, he's a Canadian.

Speaker 1 Wayside thing, eh? Nice as heck. 7-4.

Speaker 1 Jesus Christ. I took a picture of him.
What is his nationality?

Speaker 1 I look like a... Other than Canadian,

Speaker 1 what does his family come from?

Speaker 1 Chinese immigrants.

Speaker 1 He should play for the WNBA.

Speaker 1 If I was

Speaker 1 played ice hockey and baseball,

Speaker 1 that's a good athlete.

Speaker 1 Especially ice hockey.

Speaker 1 Ice hockey would be tremendous for any sport, right? That's a hard-ass sport on your legs. Oh, yeah.
Well, the best players only play 20 minutes a game.

Speaker 1 They play like a third of the game. It's that hard.
Yeah, but they play so many games.

Speaker 1 Every fucking other day. Yeah.
Wow.

Speaker 1 You can't play a long shit.

Speaker 1 I think the hardest is soccer. Those motherfuckers,

Speaker 1 there's no commercial breaks. They're sprinting the whole time.
There are some breaks. Every single time a guy gets touched, they all lay down.
But that's what they need to do.

Speaker 1 Well, that is on purpose. Everybody in America is like, oh, the fucking pussies get up.
It's like, bro, they're so tired. Yeah, that's true.
They're all like, yes. Rugby tend to be a bad thing.

Speaker 1 Rugby might be it. Rugby might be it.
Rugby's the rugs. They don't stop.
They don't stop and they're no pads. It's American football.
Rugby?

Speaker 1 No, American football is the reason it's a three-second play is because they would die. They're totally tied.
They're going in. It's such a full sprint.
Crazy. Crazy amount.
Full power.

Speaker 1 Those are giants. Giants.
But the cardio, the non-stop. They're cardio in terms of that.
They might be soccer or rugby or Aussie football. All right.
Then cross country is the craziest.

Speaker 1 When we went to Dallas, we were at the Cowboys versus the Jets.

Speaker 1 This is the first NFL game I've ever been to. And we were like not far away from the players.
And you see how enormous they are. You're looking at 350-pound humans just walking

Speaker 1 with mortals. They're just faster than us.
Yeah, they're humans. Dude, so fast.
Who's that one guy that was almost 300 pounds, and he read a four-second, four-second plus 40? Aaron Hernandez.

Speaker 1 I mean, there's a now

Speaker 1 Hernandez.

Speaker 1 You're swinging at anything.

Speaker 1 It's an island of garbage. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know what they thought mermaids? Those were manatees. Yeah.
That's how horrible. That's how drunk and horse they were.
I know I've heard that rumor. I don't believe it.
It's a dark.

Speaker 1 They've got cheap vision. They've been poked in the eye since they were two.
And drinking rum all day. Guys, they're poking them.
Guys poke them every time they get in an argument.

Speaker 1 They just poke each other in the eye. Nobody could probably see at all.
There's no glasses. You just went blind.
You're eating terrible food. Yeah, it's grave.

Speaker 1 They were blind by the time they were 20. They thought a manatee was a woman.
I don't believe it.

Speaker 1 A nice plump woman, like

Speaker 1 really rich ladies that eat the grapes. Tape.
Yeah, the ones that, what do they call those?

Speaker 1 Fat chicks? Ruben esps. Lizzos.

Speaker 1 Lizos. That was hot back then because nobody could get fat because everybody was starving to drink.
That's true, that's true. It meant you had money.
Yeah, you were hot. And now fat people are poor.

Speaker 1 Right. So back then, that was a hot, fat lady.
With a hot, fat lady floating around. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We did flip it. We did flip it.
It's super easy to get fat now. Jennifer Anderson's real thin and Gwyneth Paltrow.
They're all billionaires. Yeah.
Cheeseburgers are 39 cents on Wednesdays. Exactly.

Speaker 1 Damundo.

Speaker 1 Yeah, even like Oprah keeps trying to lose weight.

Speaker 1 She's always been, huh? Always.

Speaker 1 She's like, comes it. The best was Sherry Shepard coming out.
Do you ever see that one on the view? Sherry Shepard came out.

Speaker 1 She lost all this weight. Ozembic.
Came out in that orange bathing suit. And they're like, we did it.
I lost all this weight. They wheeled out a cart of ribs

Speaker 1 for her to celebrate.

Speaker 1 She's in a bathing suit, eating ribs, getting fat again.

Speaker 1 Jamie. Sherry Shepard's body.
Why would they do that to her? That's such a hater movie. It's really funny.
They'd be like, hey, I'm done with alcohol. And they'd go.
Let's go. Here you go for it.

Speaker 1 One year sober. Let's celebrate.
Damn. Yeah, that Ozembic's taking over.
But that's crazy that they did that to her. Yeah, they're like, you did it.
Celebrate that.

Speaker 1 Bro, you remember the time Oprah had that lady on? It's an insha't crazy. Oprah had that lady on who got her face bit off by the chimp.

Speaker 1 And she showed her face on TV. Oh, yeah.
She had the lady who was wearing a veil over her face, like, let's see your face. Come on.
She pulls the veil away. Like a note.
What are you doing?

Speaker 1 She should go Muslim.

Speaker 1 May as well go Muslim at that point. Trick of man.

Speaker 1 Can you imagine being a good Muslim man? You go, this lady seems cool as shit. Well,

Speaker 1 she doesn't have any eyes. It's like Jay Leno.
She doesn't have any eyes. You can see it coming.
Really? Yeah. Her whole face is gone.

Speaker 1 She's like, you sound like a man for me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this is

Speaker 1 crazy.

Speaker 1 Oh, isn't her?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, she looks good.

Speaker 1 Wait, that's Dr. Phil? No.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 Sherry's bathing suit body. Damn.

Speaker 1 Now you can eat. No, you can't.
Now you keep not eating. Oprah fluctuates.
She's like Elliot Bay. When did they move people off that show? Sherry's not on that show anymore, right? I don't know.

Speaker 1 No, she's not on that show. She watches.
She started going back to clubs. 15 years ago.
She was one of the real comics. There you go.
And I knew her as a comic way back in the day.

Speaker 1 I didn't know who's Sherry. Sherry Shepard.
She used to be on the View. She was a store comic.
And then she got on the View for like, I don't know, three to 20 years.

Speaker 1 Right. Damn.

Speaker 1 That's a tough gig. Fuck.
I think the View is going to get canceled. Nah, it'll keep going forever.
The View's fucking killing it right now. They're all spazzing out.
It's hilarious.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true. But you're dealing

Speaker 1 with these two matriarchs, like the older ladies, kind of set the tone of the show.

Speaker 1 You know, that's the part of the problem. They're kind of Star Trek and the other one.

Speaker 1 They're out of touch. One of them's pretty hot.
Whoopi Goldberg's, like, did you see what she did at Staten Island Bakery? Yeah. No.
Crazy. What? She's at Staten Island Bakery.
Their boiler went down.

Speaker 1 And she placed an order of cupcakes for her birthday.

Speaker 1 Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. I can't imagine yet how this would go back.

Speaker 1 Okay, go ahead. So she places this order.
They say, we can't promise you that we can do this because our boiler is down. So

Speaker 1 we can't fulfill this order. And so then the next day, the boiler is back up.
She has someone else call the same bakery and they get the order in because now the boiler's up.

Speaker 1 She claims the reason why they didn't take her order is because they didn't like her politics.

Speaker 1 And so she says this on the view. So then the bakery has a press conference where they say, we've been in business for 150 years.
This is not what happened at all.

Speaker 1 We don't discriminate against anybody, regardless of anything. We just had a problem with our boiler, and she's singling out a family-run business.

Speaker 1 And then there's a line around the block for the bakery. Nice.
It's bananas.

Speaker 1 And then she doubles down. She made a video, and she didn't even apologize.
In fact, she said the same thing. I like how they can't even see a possibility where it's just an innocuous site.

Speaker 1 Her best was like, wasn't it like the Holocaust? And she was like, That's white people problems. Yeah.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 That's great. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 She She got kicked off the show for a couple days. That's right.
Remember? Yeah. They were like, Oprah, Oprah, or whatever her name is.
These people.

Speaker 1 Dave, I swear you had a fucking show. I might have swung COVID.
I told you you were sad. What's going on? These people are just too out of touch to be running that show.
Bitch McConnell.

Speaker 1 Isn't that guy in charge of something now?

Speaker 1 Didn't they put Mitch McConnell in charge of something?

Speaker 1 Really? They just did. He's fucking locking up like a Windows 95 computer.
He's got the spinny wheel. He just locks up all the time.

Speaker 1 And they just put this guy, what they just put Mitch McConnell in charge of, Jamie. Comedy Central.
Something about a point.

Speaker 1 Put on Futurama. Defense.

Speaker 1 All things comedy. He's going to take over.
Futurama. What is it? Defense spending.

Speaker 1 You run anything by that dude. He can't count.
He's a chairman of the Senate Appropriations Subcommittee on Defense and chairman of the Senate Rules Committee. Get him up there.
That's what we need.

Speaker 1 Yo, that guy locked up twice on TV. Oh, yeah.
Fully locked up. Like, didn't know where he was.
They had to grab his arm, take him him off the stage. Yeah.
You ever see him lock up?

Speaker 1 He's got the turkey neck. Jamie, pull up the video of Mitch McConnell locking up.
He was like the face of evil for a while. Watch this video.

Speaker 1 He just stepped down. He's going to step down.
People thought that he was going to step down, but he didn't. This is an old clip.
He can't step down. Oh, he was older than a billion years ago.

Speaker 1 Bro, but the way he locks up is terrifying.

Speaker 1 It's almost like the guy's having a stroke. It's very strange.
Maybe the women of the view are geniuses because we're all talking about it. It's a ton of babies.
A lot of views.

Speaker 1 Oh, this is great. This week has been good by Partson Cooperation.
Jesus Christ. Oh, his lips aren't moving.
But hold on.

Speaker 1 It's like when a girl eats your ass, you didn't know she was going to.

Speaker 1 You're like, oh, shit.

Speaker 1 Wow, this is going great. Oh,

Speaker 1 bro, look at this guy. He's waving back and forth like he's ready to go.
They're all looking like, what's going on? Oh, he's melting. Look at the extras.
Dude, this is a full lock-up.

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 5 Anything else you want to say? Sure, let's go back to your house.

Speaker 1 Let's go back to your house.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm done.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. So that guy just got a new job.

Speaker 1 So he's running shit. Is that Ko's top general? Megan Rapido.

Speaker 1 That's Emma Willman as the top general of the country. Bro, how bizarre is that? That that guy just got a new gig.
That was Emma Levine. He's so done.

Speaker 1 Who's running shit? I thought you had it. Oh, there it is.
Who's running shit? Yeah. Who's running shit? Jews.
That's what you're saying, Jews. But at least it should be young Jews.
Own it, man.

Speaker 1 Your people are running. Yeah, we run everything.
Ancient Jews. Pelosi's and Italian.
Timeless Jews. You guys are like crocodiles.

Speaker 1 She grows bigger. Our noses go bigger and bigger until we're dead.
Yeah, I think she. Pelosi.
That sounds tough. She just got them Italian yams.
She's got a photo with a JFK back in the day.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she was like a kid. Oh, yeah.
She gave him some head. God damn it, I have to pee.
For some brain.

Speaker 1 I was trying so hard. Hang in there, buddy.
Nice. I don't think they go soon.

Speaker 1 Easy, fellas.

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Speaker 1 18 maps that keep the fights fresh and the stakes high. And zombies.
Oh boy, this is the best zombie mode yet, featuring a brand new drivable wonder vehicle that completely changes the game.

Speaker 1 Seriously, whether you're a hardcore gamer or just want to jump into some crazy action, Black Ops 7 delivers. Call of Duty, Black Ops 7 is available now.
Rated M for mature.

Speaker 1 Quit that rough house.

Speaker 1 Horseplay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's a wacky time to be alive. I can't tell if it's a great time.
Oh, it's a great time.

Speaker 1 As soon as that happens, it's a great time. If you're at all running a company, which the government is, right? You should be like, oh, hey, no,

Speaker 1 we're replacing you. That's something that you can't be in charge of anything.

Speaker 1 It's not like

Speaker 1 a pension.

Speaker 1 He did this, like Federman. Fetterman had a stroke.
Came back. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's like an old guy.

Speaker 1 You take away their license if they do stuff like that. 100%.
That guy could be at a red light, just locked up.

Speaker 1 Or just go right into an intersection and not even know he got his foot off the brakes. You ever be at a red light high and fall asleep?

Speaker 1 And then when you wake up and somebody honks, you go, damn, I should pull over. Yeah.
This is wrong. No.

Speaker 1 Jesus Christ. Yeah, me neither.
I just heard about people. Have you ever gone like that? You ever texting for like 20 minutes, you look up, you're like, damn, that was dangerous.
Yeah. Holy shit.

Speaker 1 No, no, never. I use the Apple CarPlay thing.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you just press the text. You say, text Mark Normand.
What would you like to say? Write it. Margaret.
And then

Speaker 1 it says it back to you. Sometimes it fucks it up, which is a real problem.
If you have any weird naming street or something like that, that won't work. That's Bert.

Speaker 1 Every time Bert sends a text, it's like, what is this? He goes, oh, it's speech to text. Like, or fat fingers.
Yeah, or slurring.

Speaker 1 Speech to text is really easy if you're busy because you can get away with doing it like in five seconds, what would take you like 20 minutes to type out.

Speaker 1 The best was Dana White went to a flip phone so he could feel the buttons so he could have a business meeting. Tell me if I'm wrong.
Yeah, you're wrong. I'm wrong.

Speaker 1 And text under the table he definitely texted under the table but that's not why he just started out with a flip phone and when everybody was going to smartphones he's like i can just text with my finger yeah and he was so busy he's like i don't have time for apps like what are you doing but isn't that t9 that shit takes a half hour you can feel the buttons do it without looking

Speaker 1 him and i were having dinner and he sent me a text without looking He goes, I'm going to send you a text right now. I don't have to look at my phone.
Was it accurate? It was accurate. I was like, wow.

Speaker 1 I mean, it wasn't crazy. He used like the letter U for you.
That's when that shit started. That used to drive me crazy.

Speaker 1 Even back in the T9 days,

Speaker 1 don't you do it. There's two of them now, you son of a bitch.
Even in the T9 days, I used Y-O-U.

Speaker 1 Even then. Yeah, not U-R either.
Y-O-U, apostrophe, R-E. I don't know if I did that.
Could you even do an apostrophe back then? You can. Yeah, you can.
It's a four-button thing. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 We're talking to Mr. Flipbone right here.
I got to get back there. I got to go back, like, the island.
Well, Dave Attel's still on it. That's true.
Dave has like three phones.

Speaker 1 I saw him the other night. He had some killer new.
He's so

Speaker 1 timely and relevant.

Speaker 1 Always. Two minutes on White Lotus.
It was gold. What's White Lotus?

Speaker 1 I have a TV show.

Speaker 1 It's got a giant fake cock in it that really tricks me. Steve's on.
Got your heart? No, the season two. Oh.
It's like a real hot guy, and he goes in and changes while girls are.

Speaker 1 Oh, yes. Yeah, did you see Peaky Blinders?

Speaker 1 What about that scene where

Speaker 1 that guy's sucking that other guy's cock? Pull it up.

Speaker 1 I remember that.

Speaker 1 The lady is literally sucking a guy's rubber cock. What? Yeah, there's like an orgy, and this lady is, it's either a lady sucking the guy's cock or a guy sucking the guy's cock.
100%.

Speaker 1 Should I have like Bar Mitzvah video? Cause I get up there. Oh, shit, I got a peek.
Some guy was sucking another guy's cock. Picky blindness.
Yeah, yeah. I'm going to peek too.
The Irish movie.

Speaker 1 You go first. First.
It's just going to be me and Ari. Yeah, you guys can do it.
Yeah, we can hold it, do it.

Speaker 1 Talk about it. I'm going to hold it.
Get in there.

Speaker 1 I had a few at the Delta Lounge. Nice.
Oh, you had some

Speaker 1 drinks drinks on the bottom? I was so hungover. I had to get a boost.
What did you do last night? I did a show in Charleston.

Speaker 1 It was great. That's cool.
Great crowd, but yeah, after it, that's a drinking town.

Speaker 1 Norman got me into the lounge once, and I was like, oh, I'm going to get a drink. He's like, what do you get? There's free drinks.
Why'd you order that?

Speaker 3 They have a whole list of free drinks.

Speaker 1 Norman's jewelry than I am. Oh, definitely.

Speaker 1 I've seen Norman eat wings off a plate going to the kitchen at the cellar. He's like, whoa, that's a tough.
Oh, yeah. We had that steak last night at the stand or two nights ago.
Whose steak is this?

Speaker 1 He's just like, let me just have a piece. A third of it.

Speaker 1 It's in his mouth. Never got caught.

Speaker 1 I don't know whose that was. Hey, buy some bodega cat.
But everybody, well, Joe's in the jitter.

Speaker 1 That was a funny defense of believing in dragons. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I'm going Sasquatch.

Speaker 1 Sasquatch is real, though.

Speaker 1 I love when you're like, you could have got me on a real thing. You could have got me on Saskatchewan.
I think they got him on that one.

Speaker 1 Now, the view rules, what's going on with you? Uh-oh. You seem fucked up.

Speaker 1 I know that's the worst thing somebody can say to you, so I do appreciate it.

Speaker 1 I don't know. You're just like,

Speaker 1 I'm not editing my special. I got a special coming up.
Oh, nice. Oh, shit.
A new one. January 14th.
You already covered, dude. Let's drink up a little.
Get fired up. Dude, I'm doing whiskey all day.

Speaker 1 This is my third one. We started before we started.

Speaker 1 You had three drinks?

Speaker 1 Yeah, we started before we started.

Speaker 1 We started before we started. You're drooling.

Speaker 1 You're a mess. And we're back.

Speaker 1 Now I got a wee wee. Go for it.
Yeah, we have no leader with Joe Rogan going. We were floating.

Speaker 1 Things are weird. Yeah, I was just like, what's going on? Are you okay?

Speaker 1 We had nothing.

Speaker 1 It is, I mean, it is a fun time. It's a fun time.
It really is.

Speaker 1 It's scary, but it's a fun time. These times? Yeah, as long as the war doesn't really break off, a real, actual hot war, if they can stop these motherfuckers from doing that.
My lady keeps

Speaker 1 telling me to chill because I keep following that. What? And it fucks me.
That fucking lady's nuclear war book. Who? Oh, yeah.
Just destroyed Jacobson. It fucked me up.
Terrified. One from Broad City?

Speaker 1 No. Yes.

Speaker 1 The author. This lady wrote a book about what would happen during a nuclear war.
Well, I would die instantly. I'm a nuke.
Oh, yeah, we all would. Yeah.
But

Speaker 1 how dumb it is and how quickly

Speaker 1 both have a policy that's like, all right, yes. Like, if they think there's a nuke.

Speaker 1 I was in Cuba, so me and Bobby were like researching the Cuban Missile Crisis and the Bay of Pigs while we were there. And then,

Speaker 1 man, how close it was with that submarine. Three out of four Russians were like, we can't talk to Russia.

Speaker 1 So, like, there must be a reason for that. I bet they're attacked.
We should launch. And one out of the four was that.
That's one guy.

Speaker 1 Hold on, though. Saved the entire world.
Let's wait an hour. Yeah.
Jesus. That's how close it was.
And if he launched, then America would have to launch.

Speaker 1 You know, I know we're supposed to support the bros, but the guys on the fucking nuclear subs that, like, they're only, they're going to just destroy the world and then.

Speaker 1 Then what? You fucking surface? Yeah. And go, all right, well.
Right. What are you coming back to, by the way? Yeah, stay down there as long as you have to go.
You're coming back to a destroyed world.

Speaker 1 Yeah, don't you? Not like there's spots you can go to. Like, the whole world's cooked.
The whole thing's going. Iceland.

Speaker 1 Even that.

Speaker 1 We're so close. The Russians had to warn the United States they were launching that missile at Ukraine.
Yeah, because it would end the world. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Is that what happened? So it's the first time one of those missiles has ever been used. It's based on an intercontinental ballistic missile, but they call it a mid-range.

Speaker 1 So it's a mid-range ballistic missile.

Speaker 1 And it easily could have a nuke on it. So when they launched it, they had to let the United States know that they were launching it, but they didn't say if they had a nuke on it or not.
Oh, really?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Shit.

Speaker 1 I don't think they said. Let's Google that because what I read said.
I thought they had to say they had to have said there's no way. Give it a google.

Speaker 1 You think they said there's no issue? I think they said there's no way

Speaker 1 to do it. This is just a show.

Speaker 1 I hope that's true.

Speaker 1 That would have ended the fucking world. The thing that I read said that they didn't.
I do not know if that's true, though. But it's so hard to know what's true and what's not.

Speaker 1 There's so many different stories out there. You know what? I would like to know: is that footage of those? Do I believe in dragons? Do I not? Yeah, so hard to know.

Speaker 1 I think you do. It's so hard to know.
Bigfoot's real.

Speaker 1 The video of that missile landing, though, was that real? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because that looked fucking cool as shit. That was cool as shit.
Looked like lightning. Yeah, like it sucked downward.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, these are like some basically experimental things. That's landing.
Yeah, am I drunk enough for you now?

Speaker 1 The stuff that we've seen is so small in comparison to the stuff that we have. We have stuff that would wipe out entire shelves of the continent.

Speaker 1 Let's do it.

Speaker 1 You would kill everyone in the UK instantaneously. Good.
They're all just a launch.

Speaker 1 Get out of Florida first. They really wanted to go ham.

Speaker 1 If there was some sort of a real nuclear war and a bunch of them launched, and you hit Chicago with three big missiles with nukes on it.

Speaker 1 Those things are a thousand times stronger than the Hiroshima bombs.

Speaker 1 A thousand. Twice would be enough.
Let's see what the top what the total is. How what the what is the most powerful ballistic missile that carries a UFO bomb? What can it do? Look at this.

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 1 Whoa. Are those real? Nothing's

Speaker 1 going up. It almost looks like the reverse footage of missiles firing.
Yeah, it does. Jamie, how much more powerful are today's nuclear bombs than what they use in Hiroshima? It's some instant.

Speaker 1 And how much more power is that? How much more powerful is today's weed than the 70s weed?

Speaker 1 Don't you think there were some people in the 70s that had the real shit? Probably, right? Yeah. Probably.
This guy's getting cooked.

Speaker 1 When Jay came to come to LA and he goes, New York weed is as good as LA weed. I'm like, challenge accepted.
And he assumed his weed was good. Do you remember that? The 70s must have been that.

Speaker 1 A bunch of dwarfs going, oh, this weed is good as. And the heads were like, no, no, no.
Remember the time we fucked up? We went to Philly and we fucked up because we disregarded their weed? It went,

Speaker 1 Philly weed, silly Philly weed. And we got obliterated and we could barely talk on stage.

Speaker 1 Heroin.

Speaker 1 We got obliterated. It was fun.
It was fun. Fun show.
That's like anything. Blow.
You can get the blow out there. So, how much bigger is it than Hiroshima? Okay, so look how tiny.

Speaker 1 So Hiroshima is 15 kilotons.

Speaker 1 It's like a ton of

Speaker 1 15 kilotons for Little Boy, and the Russian ICBM has 800 kilotons.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. I don't know what that means.
That's a lot. It would just suck.
It would suck so hard. 100%.

Speaker 1 You would go to New York maps and see where I lived in Canada. So crazy.
Great. We'd just be on fire.
We'd be in the fire zone. I would love to be someone later generations to come to see me

Speaker 1 playing video games, frozen, jacking off, yeah. Oh, yeah, Pompeii.
Yeah, Pompeii jack-off guy. That's true.
A couple of those guys were gay. How do you know? Pull it up.

Speaker 1 No, no, they were trying to say they were gay because they just wanted Abraham Lincoln. Yeah, they're huddled.

Speaker 1 Both these guys were dying in the middle of a fucking furnace of ash. We may as well try some cock.
Don't you think they just hug each other? I mean, what would you do with your friends with you?

Speaker 1 I would not hug you. I would not hug any of you during that.
What to happen? You would cling to each other. Let's hug.

Speaker 1 There's a dog.

Speaker 1 Mid-run, too. Bro, you would cling to each other.

Speaker 1 You would cling to each other. You'd be fucking, you'd be all cooking together.
I could use that. Instantaneously.
It was crazy.

Speaker 1 It's a mom and a daughter. Oh, she's eating her out.
It could have been some guy just hanging out with his friend, too. You fuckheads.
What? Leave him alone. It could have been a mom and a daughter.

Speaker 1 But wasn't everybody gay back then, though?

Speaker 1 Historians love putting gay on everybody. I'm gay.
Look at that copy.

Speaker 1 Go back up. Come back up.

Speaker 1 Nice copy.

Speaker 1 Nice. That thing is.
Called to an open atmosphere surrounding sexuality and sex. Uncomfortable.
Multiple depictions of penises and sexual acts in statues and wall paintings. Oh, maybe they were gay.

Speaker 1 Thank you. How about maybe everybody was gay back then? Maybe it's like Afghanistan.
He's like that Spartan guy from Segoro's podcast. Look at that guy.
Why not go gay? What do you got to lose?

Speaker 1 There's no cameras.

Speaker 1 Alexander the Great was not gay. What? Come on.
I thought he was gay. Not gay.
Big I know. How do you know? There's no

Speaker 1 name.

Speaker 1 There's no record of him being gay, but

Speaker 1 he put up some statues of bros. How about that recipe? You stuck.
So what is the rumor for him being gay? What's it come from? It came from the movie Alexander. No way.
Really? Really?

Speaker 1 He was just just gay the whole movie? Really? Somebody had

Speaker 1 gay back then, though. Yeah.
Oh, they were all gay. They were all gay.
But if Diddy was... I mean, is it like Diddy gay or is it like a real gay? I don't think he was Diddy.
He was kind of gay.

Speaker 1 I think it was. It's Power Gay.
I think it was Diddy gay. I think he was having orgies.
It's unknown if Alexander the Great was gay, but historians believe he likely had relationships with men.

Speaker 1 So he might not have been gay as he fucks dudes.

Speaker 1 It's just like you're so sick of these Joe Behars that you're like, don't be just fucking dudes. So long ago they're just making shit up.
If it was between Whoopi Goldberg and Alexander the the Great.

Speaker 1 He's getting fucked up. At least I can talk to the guy.
In ancient Greece, many men engaged in same-sex relationships without shame. Yeah, I think everybody was gay back then.
Why not?

Speaker 1 I think there's a lot of gay. They're going to say that about us then.

Speaker 1 Look, man, there's a lot of billboard was guys kissing. No, no, no.
These guys just had to excuse me.

Speaker 1 This is like climate change. This is a blip that goes up and it's going to come down again.

Speaker 1 That's what it's like. Yeah, guys sucking each other all over the place.
It's like, hey, hey, that's kind of gross.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I saw that Jaguar ad.
There's always going to be a certain. That just killed Jaguar, like fucking Kid Rock killed Bud Luck.
I mean, what were they doing? What was that?

Speaker 1 What are they doing? What was that? You didn't see the Jaguar ad? Okay, Jaguar. I get most of my news from being on this podcast.
The Jaguar. Good.
This is reliable. I'm like, ABC Dudes.

Speaker 1 The Jaguar ad is the fucking craziest speech. The guy gives a speech like it's four years ago.
Wait. Like, he's in the throes of the fucking BLM movement and like the wokest of woke times.
Really?

Speaker 1 He should be wearing a mask when he does this speech.

Speaker 1 See if you can find this speech. The ad is ridiculous.
This? Yeah, this is Jaguar. What is is this? The Olympics? This is sports cars.

Speaker 1 All right, well, that's not so bad. That's kind of cool.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 a lot of colors. Well, this is just weird, which is fine.
I like weird. Target.
Yeah, this is just a bunch of stuff. Okay, but I'm asking for the press conference.
That Megan Rapido?

Speaker 1 So the press conference is where the guy starts talking. The ad is just weird.
But then the press conference, the guy talks about how inclusive they want all diverse. And this is.

Speaker 1 You got wrong ones. Jacksonville Jaguar.
Shout out, Gabe Davis.

Speaker 1 Gay. Gabe Davis.
Just seeing Jackson fighting. It's about cornback cool.
It's a collisivity and a bunch of nonsense. And the way they say it, it's just like, are you selling cars or not?

Speaker 1 Why are you selling this political ideology? I thought you made

Speaker 1 sports. You ever see Century of the Self? Yeah, hell yeah.

Speaker 1 They're no longer selling the thing that has Adam Kirk. They're no longer selling the thing that has the value.

Speaker 1 So like pianos stop going from like, this is a good Steinway piano with good sound to this will bring your family together.

Speaker 1 And when you see the guy from fucking True Detective going, the freedom I get from driving on the road, it's like that doesn't have nothing to do with your motor.

Speaker 1 They're selling that to everybody on every front. It's like Subaru made with love.

Speaker 1 This thing you're selling is not your audience.

Speaker 1 Your audience is people want to hear everybody. And you want to see your room.

Speaker 1 Oh, dude, the Jaguars are

Speaker 1 badass. They're pretty cool.
They are badass.

Speaker 1 That's the problem. They're badass for guys like us.
The Jaguars are always in the shop.

Speaker 1 That was the thing. That's true.
The new ones are more reliable. I say about every shot.
No, no, no. I think the new ones are owned by Ford, actually.
They bought them. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Look, the new Jaguars, the V8 Coop, is a fucking beast. It's an amazing car.
I don't know. I think this is a different thing.
They hired a guy. Did you find the press conference? Uh-oh.
J-Mo's.

Speaker 1 I scrubbed it. Kamala.
I scrubbed it. Type it in.
It's just people complaining, like making videos complaining about how you can't find it.

Speaker 1 I guarantee you can find it. You got to go on Reddit.
Remember the Trump, Joe Rogan episode? You searched Joe Rogan, Donald Trump, and it was like

Speaker 1 a bunch of fucking reaction videos came up first. They fucked us.
They made it impossible to find the video. And we had a complaint, and they said it was an accident.

Speaker 1 But, like, how did this accident happen? They wouldn't say. See, here's the thing: like, maybe there's a way that you can, but this is me completely speculating.
Okay. But maybe there's a way.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't like Ari Shafir, and I run some sort of super. Very well known.

Speaker 1 So I run sort of a super PAC, or I think Ari Shafir has a podcast that's dangerous. Yeah.
And

Speaker 1 I might be able to do something by mass complaining about your podcast like mass flagging it right like if I if I have a bot system and I can get like a million people to mass flag your video maybe it gets put into a category where it's more difficult to find they do that I'm just imagining if I ran a company and it was potentially like a beheading Taliban video and it got mass flagged, you'd want it really hard to find.

Speaker 1 So you would hide the actual title of it. You would make it so it's difficult to search.

Speaker 1 I'm just being as charitable as possible.

Speaker 1 That's what I could imagine. Now,

Speaker 1 if they want people to know that that's possible, so when you ask them, how did it happen, they don't give you a straight explanation. Because if that's the case, and this is, again,

Speaker 1 completely me speculating. But if I'm speculating and that you find out that that's a thing, and I bet somebody does know it's a thing, if it is a thing, they definitely don't want it publicly known.

Speaker 1 Because then all these other foreign countries, anybody who wants to stifle any kind of news story, anything could just start using this process to hijack.

Speaker 1 No, anytime I've come under public fire, it's like the videos that have nothing to do with it go lower because people are just like, let's just flag them.

Speaker 1 So you have, like you said, a thousand people flagging it. The bot goes, this is probably problematic.
Yeah, and they don't have the time to be searching everything.

Speaker 1 The amount of shit that gets posted every second on YouTube is mind-blowing. Yo, can we talk about minutes every year

Speaker 1 about going, we're not going to do that shit anymore? Oh, yeah, that was nice.

Speaker 1 That's the only one I've tried to explain to people, like, what I've tried to do in the kindest way possible. And this is what I've come up with.

Speaker 1 When I make fun of the dead golden girl, they can't ban me for bullying anymore. Betty White? Yeah, they'll have to go, that's definitely not bullying.
We won't ban your account.

Speaker 1 You can actually get an answer. But I want to hear what he said because it was so

Speaker 1 what he said is that you cannot have censorship on social media sites and you can't have the government interfering with free speech.

Speaker 1 I've only found it. I've watched the video, James.

Speaker 1 I'm watching it. I'm not saying you didn't.
I'm just saying I can't find it. Okay, well keep looking.
You need some regulatory. You can't have faces of death though.

Speaker 1 Keep looking because I know you can find it.

Speaker 1 It only shows that this is the source of it is the Financial Times. It says it was an interview.
Yeah, but I watched it on Instagram. I did, too.
I typed it all over the place. I'm not seeing it.

Speaker 1 Did you type it on Instagram? Jaguar ad? Yep. Or Jaguar Press Conference? I typed in the guy's name.
Damn, do they scrub it? Maybe. That's crazy.
They might. Wow.
They definitely can do that.

Speaker 1 Did you see they scrubbed Jeffrey Epstein's connections to Bill Clinton off of Clinton's Wikipedia? Boy, Clinton's slippery, huh? Really? He's good. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Duncan changed my Wikipedia to go, Ari doesn't have any Jew gold, but he's hidden it among his friends. How the fuck do I know? Boy, you can't find it, Jamie.
You're right. Also, the only people...

Speaker 1 You type in Jaguar and that guy's name literally it says no results. This is crazy.
They pulled the video. It must have been such a disaster.

Speaker 1 They must be so terrified of things like this, of people like us talking about it. Shane's about to get into the sponsorship.
Yeah. See if he can find his quotes.
So get his quotes out.

Speaker 1 I've always loved Jaguar.

Speaker 1 Bud Light and Jaguar. Drinking and driving.
Look at those freaks. Jaguar.
That's crazy. Okay, literally.

Speaker 1 Jaguar managing director, how do you say his name? Raw Dunglover.

Speaker 1 Hold on.

Speaker 1 Said in an interview in the Financial Times the intended message had been lost in a blaze of intolerance on social media and denied that the promotional video was intended as a woke statement.

Speaker 1 Fuck you, it wasn't. Joe.
If you put his name together, it's Raw Dong Lover. Oh,

Speaker 1 think about that.

Speaker 1 You ever think about that? That's what I think about that. I never think about that or Dong Lover.
He just blew my mind. We need to reestablish our brand and

Speaker 1 completely different price points. That was a tweet.
I saw that. Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 I'm not that good. I'm still a little too smart.
Look at this. We need to move away from traditional automotive stereotypes.

Speaker 1 Glover said that while the overall buzz of the new campaign had been very positive, look, that ad didn't bother me at all. I thought the ad was cool.

Speaker 1 The things that he would say, vile hatred and intolerance in the comments regarding the individuals that appear in the video. Well, that I don't agree with.

Speaker 1 But what I do agree with was the things that he was saying were like crazy. Like, you're supposed to be a car company.
Tell me how awesome your car is. What are the quotes, though?

Speaker 1 That's like his quotes. You got to look at Matthew McConnell talking about Lincoln.
It's got nothing to do with the car. It's the same shit.
They all do the same shit.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no. This is a press conference.
There's no press conference.

Speaker 1 Okay, but this was a guy on stage that was saying all these crazy things. That's what everybody exploded about.
That's what you can't find.

Speaker 1 You can still find that commercial because the commercial is cool. Like, I don't give a fuck if you want people painted up and dancing in a commercial.
It's visually interesting. Yep.
It's like Apple.

Speaker 1 But now, Jamie, Google Jaguar top-of-the-line coupe,

Speaker 1 whatever it is, the VA, V8 Coupe. Jamie, type in 8008 on it.

Speaker 1 The top of the line, whatever their fucking new one is. Is it called Coupe? Do you actually

Speaker 1 say it? That thing is a beast. Is it not Coupe? Give me some volume.
So I look here with a sound. Hold on a second.
Wait, hold on. Time out.
Is it not Coupe?

Speaker 1 They say Coupe in England. It's like Porsche.
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 See if you can find one that has sound because the thing sounds fucking incredible. It's a good-looking road.
Looks like a Dawson 280SX.

Speaker 1 Yeah. What are you talking about? What do you mean? Go to videos, Jimmy.
What do you mean?

Speaker 1 You hear this thing. Now,

Speaker 1 this is the type of car that you're not going to. I love you, buddy.

Speaker 1 Give me some, like, go to where they're driving it.

Speaker 3 Welcome to Extra Throttle House.

Speaker 1 Here we go, right there. Okay.

Speaker 1 Go to where they're driving it.

Speaker 1 Oh, he's driving an asshole. Here it is.

Speaker 1 It's quite interesting getting out of something that's hundreds of feet.

Speaker 1 These two guys are going to get caught in a volcano sucking each other. Like, Popeye.

Speaker 1 Let's go to the woods where no one can see us. Let's test the steering.

Speaker 1 Excellent. Throttle house.

Speaker 1 I'm excited with electricity and what's going on. It's an amazing car.
Rear end me. That's all I have to say.
I would have bought one. I would have bought one before that press conference.

Speaker 1 Well, the 69 Jaguar is like the most coveted collectible. Well, it's a coveted collectible.
I drove one of those. Mitzi let me drive one of those for a while.
Elon used to have one of those. Really?

Speaker 1 They're cool. It's got the long front end.
Yes, exactly. They're interesting.
There's a company that takes them and makes them resto mods now. So they make them drivable.

Speaker 1 So you can drive one today and don't feel like you're going to die every time you hit the brakes. Yeah, they're unreliable.

Speaker 1 If you drive a 1969 car today, they're fucking garbage. I got a 73 beamer.
I've never had one process. This is the guy.
This is the guy. This says head of marketing.
Fuck, what's he gonna do?

Speaker 1 Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 Listen to what this guy says. Mateo's up there telling us what to do?

Speaker 8 And at Jaguar, we're passionate about our people, and we're committed to fostering a diverse, inclusive, and unified culture that is representative not only of the people who use our products.

Speaker 1 Why'd they hire an American man?

Speaker 1 a culture

Speaker 8 and employees can bring their authentic selves to the world.

Speaker 1 Who's dominating in that shirt? We are on

Speaker 8 a formative journey of our own, driven by a belief in diversity, inclusion, creativity,

Speaker 1 motors, and most importantly, tires.

Speaker 1 Action

Speaker 8 established over 15 DEI groups, such as Pride, who are here tonight in the back.

Speaker 1 Yo, what's up, Pride? Shout out, Pride. Shout out Pride!

Speaker 1 Thank you, guys, for coming.

Speaker 8 Women in Engineering and Neurodiversity Matters.

Speaker 1 We've launched major policy.

Speaker 1 This is so retarded. It was kind of Bud Light.
Transitionary at work. No, no.

Speaker 1 Transitioning at work.

Speaker 1 Transitioning at work. Superpower.
Tranny Fluid. Oh, my God.
It's so crazy that it has nothing to do with the product. That's what I'm saying.
It's crazy. This is what you're doing.

Speaker 1 You're pushing an ideology on a bunch of people that just want cool cars. Like, what? Hey, I don't disagree with any of those things.
I want everybody to be happy.

Speaker 1 But shut the fuck up when you're selling. What am I buying?

Speaker 1 I think personally like the annoyance is like that level of like politicizing a brand it that's like a big company yeah that's jack huge on the right the only the only time you see like a right wing it's my pillow yeah right it's literally fucking gold coins in my pillow those are the guys giving speeches they're like this country we need a

Speaker 1 yeah and it's like fuck my i mean fuck those guys that's funny But when it's a major company and they're like, we are gay, fuck you.

Speaker 1 He listed eight things and not one of them was the steering wheel right bro letting their employees be their authentic self

Speaker 1 what does that even mean letting them be their authentic you're putting that at authentic

Speaker 1 you're putting that above thinking about that for three days and then come back at you you're putting that above making a good car and that's all anybody gives a fuck about yeah you guys are stupid well

Speaker 1 Boeing cut out the DEI. Well, they're all cutting it out because it's killing their business.
It's what killed the Democrats. We could use a little on this show.

Speaker 1 A couple of old honkies talking shit. He puts the glasses on because he doesn't like what he just said.

Speaker 1 We've got to get Brian Simpson. Let's get a hide.

Speaker 1 Simpsons, fucking. Kathy Griffin, something.
Let's do the Kathy Griffin.

Speaker 1 That poor lady. Trump head.

Speaker 1 Kathy Griffin got the raw deal. I hope.

Speaker 1 That was a wild one.

Speaker 1 That Trump Head, especially when she had been on the fucking show. That's what's even crazier.
She was on The Apprentice. Was she really? Yeah.

Speaker 1 She was a guest. But it's like,

Speaker 1 wasn't Kathy Griffin on The Apprentice? But who took her out? Which side took her out? The right. The right.
The right. That's so crazy because the right thing is right.
The right is such

Speaker 1 a lot of them are as gay as the left. Who is the woke right? They call it the woke right.
The woke right. Yep.
Kathy Griffin says Donald Trump smelled really bad on The Apprentice. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's funny. I bet Kathy Griffin didn't still smell that great.
I bet she smelled pretty bad herself. I could smell you over me.
Yeah. That was from an awards show that they sponsored.

Speaker 1 It's called The Attitude Awards, where it's a lot of awards. What was? That Jaguar Awards.
The Jaguar. Oh, so he's just there to speak about that.
He's talking about

Speaker 1 that's the problem, too. Like, we're hearing it about Jaguars, but he's just there to speak to that audience.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Which is, either way, you're still, you're publicly addressing the

Speaker 1 Jaguar, like you're representing Jaguar. But, I mean, if we're talking about like the fucking

Speaker 1 horror awards and we talk about Tony's Thrones, it's like, what about his comedy? Like, that's not what we're doing here today. That's true.

Speaker 1 If I went to the gay fucking arena show, I'd be like, Jaguar's gay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 If I'm trying to sell Jaguars, everyone's gay. The problem is if it gets online, right? And then people are talking about it.

Speaker 1 Always the problem is when it's shown to an audience that's not your intended audience. Right.
Same with Tony. Some with Tony Torrey.
I'm just here to perform for these people. Exactly.

Speaker 1 It's like the Daniel Tosh joke. They took it out and put it on the news.
Right, but what the thing is, we don't want a company to be attached to anything like that. We don't want a company.

Speaker 1 We want a company to just sell cars. I don't want you to get politically active.
No.

Speaker 1 It's frustrating. I don't want it on either side.

Speaker 1 If Ford was like really heavy in on right-wing issues and constantly chirping about right-wing politics and Christianity. Abortion.
Yeah, Ford's abortion.

Speaker 1 Getting all Jesus. Some people drove people to abortions in Fords.
Shut the fuck up. Yeah.
You know, like, shut the fuck up. I don't want to hear it.
I want you to sell cars.

Speaker 1 But I get if that guy's there to speak to those people. But the thing is, he's speaking as they did.
That's all I did. I can type it in.
Yeah, that's all. Every single one.

Speaker 1 That's what I was arguing about. Do they have to say? say that? Budweiser can had a gay can every Jew.
Every single one did. Well, they sponsored Pride.
Yeah, that's what I mean.

Speaker 1 The Pride Camp for Pride. And they like the company.

Speaker 1 Every bucket's a week in Chelsea. Yeah.
All of them. Yeah.
Look, we all like gay guys. Of course.
They're funny as they're straight.

Speaker 1 Well, I hate it. Like, a bit of discrimination.
And imagine being gay and all of a sudden someone's telling you you can't be gay. Like, well, Ben Spiro had the craziest take on it.
Benj Pierrow.

Speaker 1 He thinks you should treat it like you treat not murdering somebody. It's like it's a sin.
There's a lot of things you want to do. It's a real Jewish thing.

Speaker 1 You treat it like gluttony, drunkenness, or whatever.

Speaker 1 You just got caught with that desire. You should overcome it.
What do you Jews do to

Speaker 1 relax with you?

Speaker 1 The Jews are involved in gay activities. Do you like keep it on the hush-hush? Yeah, you literally dig underground.
Do you dig underground? That's for storage underground. Is that for the tolls?

Speaker 1 That's for storage.

Speaker 1 Dudes,

Speaker 1 for storing bloody mattresses. Yeah, that's for storage.
But no, we still have to do it.

Speaker 1 Why are you storing that?

Speaker 1 How come you have a bird? That's not it. Listen, there's plenty of yeshiva rabbis who are fucking kids.

Speaker 1 They report them. They go to jail sometimes.
Sometimes they cover it up. It's always Catholics.
The checks are mattresses. These guys are all fucking.
But wait a minute. Isn't it more Catholics?

Speaker 1 It's way more Catholics. I think teachers fuck more kids than priests now.
Girls.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the girl teaches the kids. Girl teachers are gay.
It just busted another lady. See?

Speaker 1 10-year-olds.

Speaker 1 She got busted.

Speaker 1 The priest is creepy. Crazy look in her eye.
It's all about boy sex or girlfriend. Bring up some hot ladies.

Speaker 1 Jamie, search pornhub.com. Use a VPN.
Jamie, bring up some hot child rapist females. I think this lady had

Speaker 1 the kid porn on her computer, too. Oh, the Asian.
This is her. Not bad.
Oh, no, not Asian. Dude, you would work for that in a while.
These girls are hot. What are they doing?

Speaker 1 Because they want to fuck the guy that they couldn't fuck in high school. That's Adrian Appalucci's joke.
Adrian Appalucci. Adrian Appalucci.
Is that what she says?

Speaker 1 How bad are men? Women have to turn to a fucking 14-year-old boy to fulfill fulfill their desires. This wasn't happening in the 80s.
I think they see a guy that's going to be a stud

Speaker 1 and they say, I want to get him first. Look at that cheap.
Look at that lip.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Bite that lip, those glasses.

Speaker 1 You dirty lady.

Speaker 1 Let her

Speaker 1 tell me about scripture. Do you have your magic underwear? Turn it loose.
And the kids are into it, so that makes it also okay. Yeah, the kids are smart as a rock.
They can come 30 times a day.

Speaker 1 And they become prom king after this. You're the most popular kid in the city.
Yeah, but they got big mouse, these fucking kids. Yeah, well, that's what it is.
She made sex tapes. 28 of them.
Bold.

Speaker 1 What? Bold.

Speaker 1 With a 13-year-old. What a wild bitch.

Speaker 1 Missouri goes. Asking other students to keep watch.

Speaker 1 She was having sex with kids while

Speaker 1 she was asking other kids to watch while she banged a kid. Fuck the honor.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Back up targets.

Speaker 1 We're on the lookout. We're just watching it.
She's asking other kids to watch out. Look.

Speaker 1 She had a lookout. One of them one teacher.
They were on the lookout. Who's this lady holding a fish, dude? If she fucked a kid, I'm going to be a little bit more.
She fucked all the kids. That's her.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. Look at her.
Florida, middle school. Always Florida.
Always Florida. 14-year-olds.
Yes, ma'am, you did it. You did it.
Good job with the fish and the legs. Too many JMOs.

Speaker 1 That lady goes to the gym. She's a freak.
She can't take it. Man.

Speaker 1 She's born to be wild. It's not a hot male pedophiles.

Speaker 1 Look at her. Bro, she's always got a fucking can of alcohol in her hand.
Dude, we're going to go to the bathroom. She's ready to go.

Speaker 1 She's like that Vegas senator. Do they go to jail, these gals? I hope not.
Please

Speaker 1 let them

Speaker 1 picking the hottest. Just bleach their hair and change their name.
You got that mustache and ponytail. You're a fucking sex perverse.
You bookmark it.

Speaker 1 You're fucking finding the hottest rapist teachers. Jesus Christ.
Well, if it's consensual. Just die her name.

Speaker 1 Change her name.

Speaker 1 Move her around like they move around those Catholic priests. That's what I say.
Do a bumper sticker, like the honor roll. Move her around like they move those Catholic priests.

Speaker 1 They should have a new division of the Trump administration. Just move freaks around.
There's some kids who don't know how to write.

Speaker 1 That'll motivate you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, get some kids who know how to keep their fucking mouth shut.

Speaker 1 We found a group of boys. You give me really

Speaker 1 understand how to keep a fucking secret, these little rats. This is Billy Madison.

Speaker 1 Want to touch the hiney.

Speaker 1 Can I have a beer too? Yes, sir. That nice lady sucked your dick when you got her locked up in a cage.
Veronica Vaughan. So hot.
There's so many of them, and they're hot.

Speaker 1 They're all hot. That's what's crazy.
Also, these these kids can get a boner. You can't get another boner.
That's the thing. They got a lot of boners.
They know wrong is right.

Speaker 1 I lost my Virginia to like a 50-something-year-old, and I think she was what's a guy who can get hard. Nice, Rogan.
Nice. Nice.

Speaker 1 We're back.

Speaker 1 That's what we do. It's good to have you back.
Thank you. That's what we do.
Jamie, what type of music are we going to listen to while we bung these beers?

Speaker 1 Something without a copyright. Born to be wild.

Speaker 1 I think we need to hear that. Jamie, give me that.
Hold Hold on. Find a cover.
Get a cover version. Oh, wait, are we allowed to play music? Yeah, we're going to do it on Spotify.
Oh, sick.

Speaker 1 We released these only on Spotify, so we can still go wild. No,

Speaker 1 we can.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's what we do now. Didn't we disagree? Yes.
Can we do clips on YouTube? Yeah, that'll be our

Speaker 1 songs.

Speaker 1 Palestine. Fuck yeah.
Whoa! Coming to Sam to take a motherfucking day. Yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 What a country. What a country.
country what a country

Speaker 1 Were you guys were you guys happy when Trump won? No,

Speaker 1 I

Speaker 1 It was it was funny cuz I've done it the last three times with Trump the first time he won I've never voted. I don't vote

Speaker 1 So I wasn't like I still have that but I didn't think I wanted Trump to win until he won the first time and then when he won I was like yeah well my crypto went way up I'll tell you what me and Bobby didn't find out who won till Saturday Bobby Kennedy.

Speaker 1 Bobby Kelly. Oh.

Speaker 1 And I am feeling in New York, liberal area, a calmness. Yeah, they're all chill.

Speaker 1 They're chill. They took a day.
Daddy's home.

Speaker 1 They took like a day to be like.

Speaker 1 Not feeling it. I'm feeling a sense of kind of relief.
Yeah. I'm just like an observer.
You've got to know they're out of control. Well, people were more mad at Tony than the whole Trump winning.

Speaker 1 It felt like. That's got to be our comics word.

Speaker 1 That's just our world. That's not cowards and traders.
You say, if you go

Speaker 1 tell anyone, you go Tony Henchcliffe. Do you remember that?

Speaker 1 I don't know. Right, right.

Speaker 1 That's just our world. He's easy to hate.
That's true. Especially if you don't know him.
He's trying. He's trying to get hated.
He likes being hated. He's a villain in a pro-wrestling shit.

Speaker 1 He's a heel. And the heels went wide and it became a different vibe.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 When it was Stone Cold, I think, goes in Kansas City and goes, Kansas City, your women are all ugly and your barbecue tastes like ketchup and cardboard. Stone Cold? I think so, yeah.

Speaker 1 He better not have. And he was just shitting on Kony.

Speaker 1 He's just healing. It's fun.
He's really just a down syndrome guy at wrestling. Healing is fun.
And that's what Tony likes to do.

Speaker 1 But it's like, if you're one of those people that's not doing well and you see this guy selling out Madison Square Garden in 40 minutes, you're like, there must be a reason.

Speaker 1 People get mad. He gets angry.
David Taylor said this. He's wrote it so well.
He goes, all the comics got mad. I'm not going to say any names.

Speaker 1 You know them, the ones that got mad at Tony, because they spent eight straight years trying to be politically relevant and none of them could really do it.

Speaker 1 And they were earnest while they were doing it. And then Tony, with some jokes, became the national talking point of politics, and it tore them apart.

Speaker 1 Ooh, that's that's actual. Damn.
Tony should flip it. He goes, if you hate me, you're homophobic.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But he's not kidding.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 He's not? No. He's somehow against all odds.
These are kids.

Speaker 1 These are cold. He's not kidding.
They're going to get killed.

Speaker 1 Sit it down.

Speaker 1 You don't need to. Jamie, you got a song to go with this? I want to hear Born to be Wild.

Speaker 1 Jamie, Jamie, Jamie, Jamie, Jamie, Jamo, Jamie, put on fucking Born to be Wild. Let's go.
Jamie looks like the My Pillow guy now. Jamie does look like Mike Lindell.
That's the name.

Speaker 1 Wait, wait on it. Wait for the hook.
Head on the highway.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Looking for advances. I better start now.

Speaker 1 Oh, he's going. I can't believe I was worried about this day.

Speaker 1 Daydrinking rules.

Speaker 1 at once.

Speaker 1 Let's get two more. Explode into space.

Speaker 1 So cold. How are we going, Jamie?

Speaker 1 I'm going to air a couple of days out. I'm going to warm a couple of these out.

Speaker 1 You got to do it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You haven't finished it?

Speaker 1 So cold.

Speaker 1 No, Mark's super. Mark takes 10 minutes with this.
I'm a liquor guy. This is your cold plunge.
Come on.

Speaker 1 Fire all your guns at once and

Speaker 1 explode into space.

Speaker 1 True nature child.

Speaker 1 We were born, born and be wild.

Speaker 1 But we can find some

Speaker 1 warm time.

Speaker 1 Sorry.

Speaker 1 Can you imagine not being American how fucking gay you are?

Speaker 1 You're Jaguar gang. You're a fucking jaguar gang.
gay

Speaker 1 i take back all i said about the jaguar guy i kind of score the jaguar you gotta see the point now that i realize it was a big old pride meeting yeah yeah he was speaking correctly for that environment he was doing what tony did it's just the pride there you go and it was given to the wrong audience yeah

Speaker 1 i mean i love him i don't know i love him too we all love tony he's fine when he gets on stage now it's like fucking richard pryor just arrived they go nuts which is good that's what he needed i need i when i was I introduced him a couple of times, like right after it was happening, the pop was fucking insane.

Speaker 1 I got legitimately distressed over comedians coming after comedians. It really bothered me.
Yeah, it's a bother.

Speaker 1 I'm like Santa Claus making a list, checking it twice. Of course, but going to find out.

Speaker 1 How are you surprised by this? Comedians across the board are fucking dildos. I don't feel like they used to be.

Speaker 1 We keep talking about a time that I've never been around when that's the L.A. Times.
The L.A. Times in the peak, it wasn't like that.
It wasn't like that.

Speaker 1 They would shit on us being dirty, but not popular. I was never around.
No. It was fun.
The LA Times before everybody went woke, like 2014 to 2018, it was fun. The L.A.
Times? The L.A. Times.

Speaker 1 When we were in L.A.,

Speaker 1 the comedy store, when you filmed your special, you filmed your special in 2014. I came back to the store.
It was popping. It was popping, and it was super positive for a long time.

Speaker 1 The only thing that would get you on is you're too lowbrow. All right.
That's fair. That's just a lot of fun.
That's just tense. But it wouldn't be a public admonishment of your material.

Speaker 1 Social media fucked that up. Well, it's also like people don't feel like they're getting enough attention for what they're doing.
And so there's other people in it.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Again, I'll say it again.
I was never around when comedians were positive.

Speaker 1 You were in the wrong spot. If you were with us in L.A.
It was altered versus Main Street. I wasn't even here.
It was alt versus Maine. New York was pretty positive.

Speaker 1 But in New York, we hung out with the alt people. We hung out with the altar.
All the people like Pat and Matt.

Speaker 1 They were mad at us for being better than them, and we were mad at them for being witty. Well, the thing was, we were free.
We were free.

Speaker 1 We could do the stuff still that they did when they used to do. If you go back to like Patton's earlier albums, he could cancel for a lot of those bits.
Oh, the retard bits? He's got a bunch of stuff.

Speaker 1 But also, all we saw was

Speaker 1 so tag-heavy. Yeah, well, he's a great comic.
He's a great comic, and especially back then when he was free. His KFC bullshit was great.

Speaker 1 It was like, God damn, this setup.

Speaker 3 Tack, tag, tag, tack, tag, tag, tag.

Speaker 1 You know what I said to him once, and it's totally true. He's like the best I've ever seen at making a premise work where I would have never imagined.

Speaker 1 He'd take a premise and he'd be like, where's he going with this? I can't believe this is working. That's just crazy.
Calling his Ti-Vo retarded.

Speaker 1 When his daughter called someone at Starbucks a monkey. Yeah.
Remember that? That's great. Remember that bitch?

Speaker 1 Great bits. Yeah, he's great.
They're killer bits. He's funny.
But you get captured, man.

Speaker 1 And if you're on a bunch of other fucking cowards and everyone's like backstabbing everybody and there's this like weird compliance thing where you have to completely adhere to an ideology 100% hook, line, and sink, or you're cast out as a Nazi.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 But he doesn't. Because his true self is, oh, cool.
Chappelle wants me there. I'll do all.
But isn't that why we got into this?

Speaker 1 We got into this to be free.

Speaker 1 You got to have a bunch of people like us. You have a bunch of where we're all friends and we all are free.
And if you don't have that, you don't know what the fuck to do.

Speaker 1 Bro, I barfed in Shane's toilet and blamed that on O'Connor. I knew it was you.
I knew it was you, you scum. O'Connor's like, do you barf.
I'm like, bro, that you were so drunk.

Speaker 1 Immediately, I knew that was you. And then Kyla was like, was like, were you here? I'm like, did you get my present?

Speaker 1 I knew it was you.

Speaker 1 Obviously, it was you. That was when we did the 999.
The 999. That was a mistake.
Bro, when you did Skank Fest and shit in that Tupperware and they opened it up, I gagged watching the video.

Speaker 1 He's shoving the video. I just showed it up Legion of Skanks.
Legion of Skanks. Skank Fest.
I just shit

Speaker 1 on stage. I'm done now.
That was

Speaker 1 shitting. How did you get the note in the turd? Shoved it up my butt.
Oh,

Speaker 1 Jesus, son. Shoved up my butt, wrote in.
You know how GG Allen sucked? Oh, musically, yeah. Me too.

Speaker 1 Comedically, I've got nothing but that butt shut.

Speaker 1 That butt shut. I'm number one.

Speaker 1 You're a prop comic now. You're shitting on stage.
He's the only shit comic. If somebody tries to shit on stage now, they're like, oh, you're stealing from Army.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 You can't take your shirt off anymore. You're Burt Kreiser.

Speaker 1 There's a bunch of guys who used to take their shirts off, right? There has to be. You're Turd Kreiser.

Speaker 1 I can't believe that Burt was the only guy in the history of standing up to take his shirt off on stage. No, he definitely has.
He's the only one who did it two times in a row. Right.
Right.

Speaker 1 And then 1,000 times in a row. Right.
Like, did Joey ever take his shirt off on stage? He took his whole clothes off on stage. No, just bottoms.
Just bottoms. Kept his top on all the way.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Well, that's a good thing. So there's got to be a person.

Speaker 1 There's got to be a person other than Burt. Is it possible that Bert invented taking your shirt off when you do your set? Probably.
Jada Jackson. Who would?

Speaker 1 No, that's not happening. I think it's his last recorded set with his shirt on.
Really?

Speaker 1 Pull it up. Well, every time he used to do the OR, he used to leave his shirt.
He pulled it up. Because he felt like the OR was like two.

Speaker 1 He was there. He felt bad.
He took his shirt off.

Speaker 1 Minnesota, Penn State, pull up the score. Pull up the score.
And now he takes his shirt off every time he gets on stage. You're trapped.
He gives away his shirts. He throws them to the crowd.

Speaker 1 I don't think he's even trapped doing it. I think he's

Speaker 1 actually going to stop if he wanted to.

Speaker 1 But it's also like the crowd likes it. He likes it.
Who cares? I think he feels free. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What happens if he gets ripped? That'll never happen. Oh, yeah.
What happens if Burt Chrysler gets ripped?

Speaker 1 If he finds his true self. He's on the T.
If he gets under 300 pounds, it's a massive coupe.

Speaker 1 Coupe?

Speaker 1 Coupe, they thought.

Speaker 1 Jamie,

Speaker 1 I was expecting the Golden Gopher's Penn State score.

Speaker 1 Oh, I like that. Whoa.
I never forgot what they did. Penn State?

Speaker 1 Never forget. What happened? They raped a bunch.
Oh, that's right. How crazy is that? They covered that up.
A bunch. How crazy is it they covered that up forever?

Speaker 1 The best was Sam Dustin going, well, I can't just live next to her children's school?

Speaker 1 You're like, yeah, that's it.

Speaker 1 If you look into that one, though, that's one that's like, that's a conspiracy one. What do you mean? Well, that's the problem.

Speaker 1 That's not one guy.

Speaker 1 He was running, it was called Second Mile Foundation. It was a bunch of kids.
It was for like, it was like Boys Town in the

Speaker 1 what's the thing from

Speaker 1 Nebraska?

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, whatever.

Speaker 1 So he was running like a child's school. Yeah, yeah, he was running like Second Mile was for like

Speaker 1 kids without

Speaker 1 parents who would tell children. Oh, those are the best.
And he was, and he it was, yeah, is he dead? Sandusky, no, he's still kicking. Really? Is he really? He's in prison, though.
He's in prison.

Speaker 1 I'm surprised they didn't get him because they hate child buddies.

Speaker 1 He's too old, though. Oh, what are you talking about? They would kill him.
Yeah. Yeah.
They'll kill anybody. If he got a general population, I mean, he might be protected.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's probably protected. Maybe they're playing football.
Protect our burbs.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I heard somebody, somebody, what's his name? Lee was Harvey Oswald. Dating somebody who worked in prisons.
She was talking about Epstein.

Speaker 1 And she goes, Peatly.

Speaker 1 And she goes,

Speaker 1 anyone who's at all a celebrity, at all, screech level, gets watched 1,000 minutes a day. And for Epstein to be unwatched is undoable.

Speaker 1 Also,

Speaker 1 that was under the Trump administration. Yeah.

Speaker 1 When Epstein got killed. Listen, it didn't matter what administration does,

Speaker 1 that is some very powerful people. It has nothing to do with who's the president.
No, I know, but he, you know.

Speaker 1 why has that come out? Not a word. Not a list, not a thing.
Nothing. Well, Jiz is still there.
Yeah, what's going on with that? And I would imagine it's not going to either. No, I don't know.

Speaker 1 Everybody's like, when Trump gets in office, the Epstein. Yeah.
Yeah, right. He's going to tell it himself.

Speaker 1 It was fun. We were on an island.

Speaker 1 We would have all gotten on that plane. Let's be honest.
And the reality is,

Speaker 1 they were running that for a long time. And there was probably a whole network of connected, powerful people that told you it was cool.
Nothing's going to come of it. We're going to have a good time.

Speaker 1 We're going to go to the island. Meet Stephen Hart.

Speaker 1 No one probably told you these girls are 16. All you knew is there was girls there.

Speaker 1 There's all sorts of adults that were designed to be the celebrity. Just like these ditty parties.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 Same kind of situation. You get there, you get loose.
First of all, celebrities do not feel comfortable unless they're around people that are like them. Celebrities.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 If you're Jamie Foxx, like Jamie Foxx is cool when he's around Kevin Hart because Kevin Hart is famous too. Yeah, he's taking a photo.

Speaker 1 Oh, so you know, these people that are like super powerful world leaders, what's their fucking peer group? Other super powerful world leaders.

Speaker 1 Then they mix in a bunch of scientists and a bunch of like very influential intellectual people that are interesting to hang out with.

Speaker 1 And then you get a free trip to an island, you're partying, and then they're telling you, it's cool, we do this all the time. And you're like, okay.

Speaker 1 All of a sudden, you see that. And then

Speaker 1 you go to.

Speaker 1 of.

Speaker 1 It's like, imagine you're Clinton. You go to, hey, man, what's the picture? What the fuck is that all about?

Speaker 1 That's pretty good. I bet there was some above age

Speaker 1 sex too.

Speaker 1 And like, wait, what's going on in that room? Like, you're not cool. 100%.

Speaker 1 I'm sure there's a bunch of ladies. The whole thing is just.

Speaker 1 You're all in trouble. You're all busted.
Also, if you're fucking a bunch of girls and you're supposed to be some guy who talks about physics, no, I don't want to listen to to you about physics.

Speaker 1 I got a video of your dick. Get out of here, you creep.

Speaker 1 You like pleasure. You like dick pleasure, unlike me.
I don't. I don't.
I don't want my dick pleasure.

Speaker 1 So there's all these people that are a bunch of hypocrites that are judging a bunch of people that went to this fucking island that you would have gone to too, especially if you didn't know what the fuck was going on.

Speaker 1 And you're some dork who teaches complex mathematics in Princeton and you're looking for some money. You're looking for a funding for this.
They're like, hey, there's going to be some rich guys there.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit, there's

Speaker 1 kids here. And Epstein would fund science.
he funded a bunch of different science projects damn and then you have

Speaker 1 a well-designed trap that would trap literally any human on earth the listing man the israelis know what they're doing right ari yeah they do know what they're doing that dude that pager thing was oh that was diabolical slick great it was you gotta appreciate that that was james bonds i mean you told him you had to go from like they're gonna buy from this site it was what a fucking win the packages who buys a pager?

Speaker 1 These guys are doing it because everything was compromised. Because in today's day, with Pegasus, the Israelis have Pegasus.
They listen to any phone they want.

Speaker 1 They listen to your phone, my phone, anybody's phone they want to. Anytime.

Speaker 1 Even when your phone is off, they can listen to it. Yikes.

Speaker 1 These murderers will take their phone with them to bury a body.

Speaker 1 Dumbass. Leave it at home.
Leave that phone at home. They can't help but check TikTok.
Yeah. But they're addicted.

Speaker 1 They're addicted to the reels. But the P.
Diddy, why can't we get anything concrete? All we really have is the hotel hallway beat ass.

Speaker 1 That one is in the process. At least I don't know.
It's going to be a bit of a dude. But hold on.
He's in jail. There's a lot going on.
There's a lot of lawsuits.

Speaker 1 That one is like, we're going to find out. Jamie Foxx just recently said that P.
Diddy poisoned him. What? And that's why he got that stroke.
I've heard that. He talked about it on stage.
He said it.

Speaker 1 He said it. He got poisoned.
He said it. He goes, I didn't have a heart attack for the vaccine.
It was Diddy shutting me up.

Speaker 1 See if you can find that. Because he said it on stage.
Diddy Diddy was poisoning people. Bro, I think there was some crazy shit going on.
Like Cosby shit, like drugging. Diddy wasn't even that thing.

Speaker 1 It was murder. Trick could do it.
There's alleged murders, a bunch of people that got pneumonia. A bunch of convenient people that died of pneumonia.

Speaker 1 Jamie Foxx addresses whether Diddy was responsible for 2023 hospitalization while filming Netflix special. Holy shit.
Jamie Foxx. He talked about it on his Netflix special.

Speaker 1 They did not care about at all stand-up. Jamie Foxx is hilarious.
Audience members members.

Speaker 1 Oh, I see him at clubs all the time.

Speaker 1 Working out his bits. What is that share sign?

Speaker 1 Good writers. The audience members had varying accounts of the comedian's words.

Speaker 1 Two of them claimed that Fox said Diddy was responsible for what happened to him, that he's the one who called the FBI on Diddy, who's currently in prison awaiting trial on sex trafficking charges.

Speaker 1 A source close to Diddy insisted to Daily Mail that there is no truth to Sean Combs putting Jamie Foxx in the hospital. There's no chance it was a joke.

Speaker 1 I mean, yeah, it was a joke, but joke based on truth or not truth. It is possible.
That's totally possible.

Speaker 1 That's totally possible, but it's also possible he was explaining while he wound up going to hospital, and he hasn't talked about it since. He never talked about it.
Look at this.

Speaker 1 Big homie CC, a celebrity security guard, claimed in an interview with Cam Capone News last week that Fox was poisoned by Diddy.

Speaker 1 I know Combs poisoned Jamie Foxx, and Jamie Foxx reported him to the FBI because of it. Jamie Foxx reported this man to the FBI because of this, he claimed.

Speaker 1 So I've seen that video where that guy was talking about how Jamie Fox

Speaker 1 reported. He was a family's poison three times, I think, in it.
Oh, he said it as well. He's like, why do I have cyanide in my system? Jesus Christ.

Speaker 1 That's a legit question.

Speaker 1 Why do I have cyanide? Oh, so look at this. Jamie Foxx wipes away tears as he gives his artistic explanation of mystery illness.
Oh, I love tears in a comedy special.

Speaker 1 That's how we fall into clickbait. What is that? Artistic explanation of mystery illness.
I know we're on a weird site, and that's how you fall into clickbait. Oh, boy.
So, I don't know if it's true.

Speaker 1 We won't know until we see the actual Jamie Foxx Netflix special, which Ari has bookmarked. He's ready to go.
Yeah. Do you see the Rosie O'Donnell

Speaker 1 like a bunch of stuff if we're talking about it? She looks like Steve Bannon. Her just making jokes over the years about Diddy and him going to jail and what he's doing wrong.
Really?

Speaker 1 It was like Cosby. It was like one of Dan.

Speaker 1 It was like,

Speaker 1 they all knew about it, but you can't quite talk about it. Meanwhile, all these people

Speaker 1 in Europe. That's right.
How wild is that? Like, Ellen just moved to England? Like, see ya. Well, better healthcare.

Speaker 1 Is he talking about it here?

Speaker 1 Pull it up. This is December 10th.
Only on Netflix. Elliot.

Speaker 1 That's why I couldn't get a December date. He's a tenant.
What happened was.

Speaker 1 Wow, it's called What Happened Was. Ooh, that's going to be a big one.
It might be like a one-man show rather than stand-up.

Speaker 1 If they make a trailer like that, that's like,

Speaker 1 what happened? And he's like, I got drugged by both daddies. Right.
This is So funny.

Speaker 1 So I wake up and I'm sucking LeBron's dick. I don't know how I got here.
LeBron. Another guy scared of China.
LeBron.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Although,

Speaker 1 I was talking about it with my friends earlier. I don't think LeBron, LeBron's one of the only famous guys that never got hit with a pedophile fucking accusation.
He might have never

Speaker 1 a child. LeBron might have.

Speaker 1 LeBron might be the man.

Speaker 1 Did you ever say fake reading Malcolm X's book? He does that. That's because he does these interviews where he shows up with a book.

Speaker 1 He's in the locker room. He's just kidding with this book down.
I defend him on that.

Speaker 1 We've all done that. I've read the first

Speaker 1 book on Earth. I have stuff on our bookshelf.

Speaker 1 I went over to Callan's house once, and he had something like Catcher in the Rye sitting on his coffee table. I go, you're not reading that.
I go, you have that out there when girls come over.

Speaker 1 He goes, you're right.

Speaker 1 He goes, how did you know? I go, you scumbag. I go, that's like so obvious.

Speaker 1 Protein, you're a reader. It's also a serial killer book.
Callen was so nutty when I first visited him, when I first started hanging out with him.

Speaker 1 He didn't have a lock on his door, and someone broke his doorknob off, and he left it off. And so he didn't have anything.
He had clothes and a couple of books that he pretended to read.

Speaker 1 And a lady, a homeless lady, walked into his apartment while he was sleeping and was cooking breakfast. And he goes downstairs, he smells something cooking.

Speaker 1 He goes downstairs, there's a homeless lady in his kitchen cooking. She's like, you got it going on, honey.
Look at all the stuff you got here. And he's like,

Speaker 1 you have to leave like you can't what like cowan was wild damn he didn't have a doorknob his doorknob was broken off there was a hole in the doorknob area where you could just push open the door so he would just shut that door and go to sleep in venice damn

Speaker 1 epic story but like you're gonna die he's got to be careful because squatters they're hard to get rid of well back then there was no squatters There was none of that back then.

Speaker 1 I don't know when all that shit started happening, when people decided they could move into people's houses, but it wasn't a common thing back then.

Speaker 1 They have laws. you can't get rid of those people.
I know, it's crazy, especially. Stanhope, I heard some stories.
Stanooper had like homeless people on his porch. He's like, whatever.

Speaker 1 Well, with a homeless city, he stabbed their own guy. Yeah.
And he goes, whatever. Just don't be weird, but fine.
And then he comes home and they chicken stabbed the dude. He goes, You guys got to go.

Speaker 1 And they go, no, no, we're cool. He goes, it's too much.
You guys, you got to go. She had too much.

Speaker 1 He videotaped her with blood on her hand, and she's staring at her hand. She goes, I'm a cunt.
I'm a whore. I'm a cunt.
I'm a whore. She was suddenly like crazy.
She was schizophrenic.

Speaker 1 Nah, you're just a cunt.

Speaker 1 She was completely schizophrenic. These people were like camped out.
Holy. Stanhope had a house in Venice that had the American flag painted on the side of the house.

Speaker 1 The whole house was the American flag. That's fun.
It was hilarious. And we parted at his house multiple times.
Yeah. And he was just such a silly boy.
And he let these people just sleep in his mouth.

Speaker 1 You let these people just sleep there? Do you know them? He goes, yeah, they're good friends. Venice is a lot of friends.
Venice is creepy. There's something weird about that area.
He loved it.

Speaker 1 It's perfect for San Hope. It is perfect for him.
He fit in like OJ's glove.

Speaker 1 It was perfect.

Speaker 1 Is he still in Bisbee? Yeah. He's the king of Bisbee.
Why would he leave? Didn't his house catch on fire?

Speaker 1 He can live in a teepee out there. It never gets hot.
Never gets cold. When it gets hot, it doesn't get too cold.

Speaker 1 All right, boys. Do it for America.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 America versus Israel.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit. That's the end of that.
Israel's done.

Speaker 1 Not bad. Not bad.
Did you see Tony play drums on stage? With Jelly Roll? Jelly Roll. That ruled.
No. He played simple man.

Speaker 1 He played drums. He killed it.
That fucking rules. He killed it.

Speaker 1 Jellyroll's a fucking man. Jelly Roll.

Speaker 1 Good guy. He's a man.
He was out here the other day, hangs out at the club.

Speaker 1 So cool. I DM'd him.
I'm like, hey, buddy, we've never really hung out.

Speaker 1 Everybody I know likes you.

Speaker 1 Let's hang out. If you're in New York, come hang out.
And he was was like yeah dude that's great here's my number text me and he gave me a fake number no

Speaker 1 you got jelly

Speaker 1 no

Speaker 1 well played

Speaker 1 no that was an accident he's about to see you

Speaker 1 he probably gave you an old number and he forgot because he was high

Speaker 1 damn I doubt he did that it was cool as shit I doubt he was like hey man it's all right nothing I'm like that's severely well nice severely doubt

Speaker 1 yeah he wouldn't do that but that is very funny that is very

Speaker 1 funny. I told you to do it to you.
I took

Speaker 1 the Kid Rock watch story last time, right? Oh,

Speaker 1 that was great. That was good.
He gave us a fake watch and left, and he's like, I want you to have this. Fake diamond.
Me and my friends fought about it for 20 minutes.

Speaker 1 It was like, oh, this is from Amazon. This is a $5 watch.
He wore it all night to trick us. How crazy was the garden with all those guys? It was crazy.
Kid Rock. Yeah, Jana White.
It was great.

Speaker 1 John Jones bowing to Trump. It was like the gladiator bowing to Trump.
And

Speaker 1 the pop when Trump walked in the building was like, you had to be there to understand. It was like,

Speaker 1 it always is a huge pop when he shows up every time. But this was like triple that.
It was a five-minute standing ovation. Five minutes.

Speaker 1 Five minutes. Wow.
It is crazy we've lost sight of like a president-elect is coming in. This is awesome.
We've just lost sight of like what that means. President-elect.

Speaker 1 I can only judge someone by how I experience them. And I like the guy.
He's fun. But it's funny he shit on you and then he comes on.
I like that he can still

Speaker 1 basically see what you basically shit on. I said something kind of crazy, though.
It was like, I wonder how loud I'm going to get booed at the UFC, like out of all the places.

Speaker 1 Maybe at the mothership.

Speaker 1 But also, also, Shane at Kiltoni MSG

Speaker 1 was just shitting on, as Trump, shitting on Rogan. And then Rogue coming out.
It was so funny watching from the sideline.

Speaker 1 They all knew. And then you come up, the applause, and Shane's like, okay, that means he's here.
I don't have have to turn. And just going,

Speaker 1 what a great guy.

Speaker 1 What a great guy. Slowly checking Trump would do it.
Yes, that was great. Great guy.
I always loved him.

Speaker 1 There's nothing weirder than being a part of a presidential election. It's real weird.

Speaker 1 Weird. Nothing weirder.
Especially, like, Ari, you were here the fuck, you were in like episode three or some shit of this podcast. Imagine like this fucking thing somehow or another affects

Speaker 1 the thing that we used to do in my spare bedroom. I was just talking to somebody at like an airport or something.
Like, does he do that from his house? I'm like, no, he used to.

Speaker 1 And then he had enough porn stars on that go.

Speaker 1 It was mostly

Speaker 1 around my family. I didn't want Andy Dick at my house.
And then there was a few other people. I was like, we have to have a location.

Speaker 1 And then we did it at Red Bands for a little while, but that was too funny. First one to get a studio.
Yeah. Whoa.

Speaker 1 Fleshlight was in there. Yeah, I was like, I got to get out of my house.
I have young kids, and I have too many weirdos coming over the house. Yeah.
Like, I got to. Me alone shouldn't be a track.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you were over there before the podcast, bitch. But it was like one of those things where I was like, okay, I think it's growing, so I'll probably

Speaker 1 accept it and move on. The next move is the ranch boys.
I can't wait. Oh, I've been looking.
I've been looking. We're going to do something crazy.
Can't wait that.

Speaker 1 We're going to have a helicopter pass. We're going to have some guns.
And, oh, we're going to have that. I'm going to make a tactical range.
We're like blowing out cars and shit. Let's blow up a cat.

Speaker 1 I'm looking at locations. They're trying to fight Russia.
Let's hurry up. I don't really think Putin's that stupid.

Speaker 1 I think he's going to realize what's going on, and I think they're probably working this out. Alex Jones said that Trump is having secret meetings

Speaker 1 at Mar-a-Lago. I hope it's true.
I hope it's true. They're trying to come up with some sort of a

Speaker 1 Zelensky tried to come on. Whoa.
Yeah, they tried to get Zelensky on. I was like, what are you talking about?

Speaker 1 When you get an offer for somebody, they must come at your bookers or whatever.

Speaker 1 Do you go, do you like stop and like, hold on, let me think about this, whether I want to be part of the story or not, whether it'll be interesting or not?

Speaker 1 Well, I wanted to stay out of the presidential election shit.

Speaker 1 That's gross. Because I feel like I had to.
I feel like this is so nuts. This is so nuts.
When that Tim Waltz guy,

Speaker 1 that guy's, it's so nuts that that guy was going to be the vice president.

Speaker 1 You're telling me.

Speaker 1 You're telling me this whole thing's fake then.

Speaker 1 You're telling me you don't care if someone's a liar. You don't care if they lied about their military rank, where they served.
You don't care if they lie about being an assistant.

Speaker 1 You don't care if they lie about Tiananmen Square. There's too many things.
This is so crazy.

Speaker 1 You would get fired if you were an assistant manager at a fucking

Speaker 1 oil changing company.

Speaker 1 You would get Jiffy Lou would fire. So let me ask you a question, though.
In two years from now, there's no more Kamal, there's no more Democrats for a while. We're deep into the next thing.

Speaker 1 Can all these people now make fun of the current president? Yeah, they should be able to. They should be able to.
They should be able to. You should always be able to make fun of people.

Speaker 1 And if Trump does something stupid, we're going to be right here making fun of him. It doesn't

Speaker 1 like he's the best chance to avoid World War III.

Speaker 1 Also, J.D. Vance, the vaccine, Tulsi Gabbert, all these people, RFK Jr., all these people.

Speaker 1 The anti-war lady Tulsi Gabbert going to Trump and the pro-war guy, Dick Cheney, going to the other way. It's like, that should kind of tell you what you need to know about international wars.

Speaker 1 How about the fact that the left was like openly embracing the fact that Dick Cheney avoided Kamala? They weren't

Speaker 1 endorsed Kamala, rather. They weren't going like, what? That's like NCAA endorsing you.

Speaker 1 No one was standing back and said, this guy's responsible for like how many fucking people died.

Speaker 1 Do you ever see Vice, the movie, about him? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Kind of made me a fan. About who?

Speaker 1 It was supposed to make you not like him. Really? Made you a fan? Probably.
Jamie, have I talked about this before? No, he was a cool movie.

Speaker 1 In the movie, there's a part where he's like a drunk piece of shit.

Speaker 1 Who, who? Dick Cheney. He's doing like power.
He's working on power lines in fucking Wyoming or some shit. And he's just getting in drunk bar fights.

Speaker 1 And then his wife, Lynn Cheney, is like, are you going to be a loser your whole life? Yeah. He's like,

Speaker 1 the Howard Stern movie. No, I won't.
And then he conquers the world

Speaker 1 and kills a million people. But is that what he's doing?

Speaker 1 Remember when he shot his friend? By the way, Dick Cheney, no offense. I know you think you're great.

Speaker 1 Dick Cheney shot his friend.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he shot his friend in the face. Shot him in the face.
First friend apologized.

Speaker 1 Baller. Beast.
Yeah, but crazy. Beast.
That's right. That's a lot of pops.
Sorry, I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. That's all me.

Speaker 1 You shot me in the fucking face? That's on me. I should be aware that you're retarded.

Speaker 1 You were drunk. You used a a shotgun.

Speaker 1 Jesus.

Speaker 1 That's Randy Marsh saying, I'm not against big toilet paper.

Speaker 1 No, we love Dick Cheney. Republicans buy sneakers, too.
What? What?

Speaker 1 Sneakers. Sneakers is real close to the whole world.
That was close. That was real close.
Satellite got sneakers. Sneakers.

Speaker 1 We need something else. Sneaker, please.
Let's mix it up. What's another good patriotic song?

Speaker 1 Hold on, hold on. Oh, the Hulk Hogan America song.
That's actually great. That's a good one.

Speaker 1 Let's go with that one. Is that a fuck yeah? No, it's not a fuck yeah, but it's great.

Speaker 1 It's banging. It's probably the number one.

Speaker 1 How crazy is it they had Hulk Hogan rip his shirt off at a political rally? And how could you not be behind it? It's wacky tie. Wow.
Damn, this does hit.

Speaker 1 I forgot it. That's my childhood.

Speaker 1 Simone's getting hard.

Speaker 1 Damn, he's brown. He's good.
Look how brown he was.

Speaker 1 Is that brown face?

Speaker 1 When it comes crashing down and

Speaker 1 That was me as a mascot. Who sang this?

Speaker 1 Who sang this? Him.

Speaker 1 No. This Hulk.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Crazy photos. 21 million views.

Speaker 1 21 million.

Speaker 1 1 million views.

Speaker 1 We can make it to a character. He's a guy.
Hey.

Speaker 1 Catch her in the ride.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's go. Let's go.

Speaker 1 Mark. Three, two, one.

Speaker 1 You better do it all, Mark.

Speaker 1 Do it, Mark. Do it, Mark.

Speaker 1 Come on, Mark.

Speaker 1 You better finish that. Mark, think about America.

Speaker 1 Just keep pouring. Think about America.
Think about America. Do it to stop the war in Ukraine.

Speaker 1 Not that's good. Not bad, Mark.
Not bad. Best one yet.
Best one yet. Best one yet.
Now, take what's left in mine, and you drink it. Oh, shit.
The juice bucket. Like a dirty person.
That's a real one.

Speaker 1 That's a real American. Yeah, that might have been the best one.
You drink the backwash.

Speaker 1 Oh, me? Yeah, the opener. Don't do it.

Speaker 1 Don't be a coward. Drink the backwash.
Don't be a coward. No, no, no, don't.
Do it. Do it.
Do it. Do it.
Deuce. Do it.
Fuck out. He'll get done.
You're going to be for a second. Shane, stop me.
Wow.

Speaker 1 He doesn't even reach his mouth.

Speaker 1 It doesn't even reach his mouth. I'll do it.
I don't give a fuck. Let's go.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're sick.

Speaker 1 You hate to jump. I have one of these in my studio.
It's almost like jizz. For my podcast.
I go, this is close to the bus. It's almost like to get drank.
It's almost like to be drank.

Speaker 1 Talk him into doing something. That's too long.

Speaker 1 Okay, you guys got to shut up for a second.

Speaker 1 Pre-com. Because you're all looking really hot right now.

Speaker 1 I like how you're diverse.

Speaker 1 If there's a volcano, I'm sucking one of you.

Speaker 1 Volcano? That's all I'm saying.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, Pompeii. I'm about to erupt.
Bro, back to living near Yellowstone. Just knowing one day that baby's going to go.
As soon as it does, I'm hitting the fucking.

Speaker 1 That might be the spot to be, though. You might want to be like right there instead of starved to death in Maine.
Yeah. Yeah, that'd be a funny episode of the show.

Speaker 1 Do you remember about the second of Senator? Wait, are we doing the show in Mar-a-Lago? Well, we were going to, but you said I don't want to influence an election.

Speaker 1 I changed my mind after they shot at him.

Speaker 1 That changed everything. Who do you think shot at him? CIA? No, just one guy? No one.
I think they...

Speaker 1 What's the saying they fucking got rid of the goalie?

Speaker 1 What's that saying? Pull the goalie. They pulled the goalie on that one, defense-wise.

Speaker 1 I think they let a boy go. That boy was in a black rock commercial.

Speaker 1 That is a weird one. He was in a black rock commercial, and there's a cell phone data record.
See if you can find this so I don't fuck this up.

Speaker 1 There's cell phone data record of a phone that came from an area that's near the FBI headquarters back and forth to this kid's home. This kid's home was professionally scrubbed.

Speaker 1 No silverware, no nothing.

Speaker 1 Hold on.

Speaker 1 They cremated him 10 days after the assassination attempt. There's no toxicology reports.
If you find,

Speaker 1 there's no press conference. If someone tries to shoot a guy who eventually winds up being the president-elect, you should at least find out out if this guy was drugged.
Was he on crack?

Speaker 1 Like, what was he doing?

Speaker 1 You would do that. You would do that, and then you release it publicly.
He was under the influence of psychotic drugs. You would do something.
You would want to know.

Speaker 1 At least there should be an account of how this happened. I'll be honest.
What went wrong?

Speaker 1 The only thing, for sure, the only thing that went wrong, or the only thing that did happen, rather, was the head of Secret Service, that lady, the Secret,

Speaker 1 whatever it is,

Speaker 1 Secret Service lady. I'm a little drunk.

Speaker 1 Secret Service lady, lady, that lady got fired, but she didn't want to get fired. She tried to keep her job.

Speaker 1 She actually tried to explain, and the dumbest explanation, there was a sloped roof, so she didn't have slopes. Which there wasn't.

Speaker 1 But also, there was a sloped roof where the other snipers were on. It was more sloped.
Slope roof, so what? So it was too dangerous to have snipers up there.

Speaker 1 Someone who regularly visited Crook's home

Speaker 1 and work also visited a building in D.C. located in Gallery Place.
This is the same vicinity as an FBI office on June 26, 2023. Whose device is that? Hold on.
Devil's Advocate. I've lived in D.C.

Speaker 1 I've lived in the area. There's FBI stuff everywhere.

Speaker 1 How close is

Speaker 1 devil's advocate? He's shouting

Speaker 1 out someone.

Speaker 1 That's the same block.

Speaker 1 I think the accusation was that they'd done it more than one time. Fuck.

Speaker 1 Wait. D.C.
Oh, there it is. There it is.
There it is. There it is.
There it is. Hold on.
Hold on.

Speaker 1 We found a device linked to Crook's work that traveled to Butler, Pennsylvania on July 4th and July 8th.

Speaker 1 Device stopped all activity on July 12th. On August 30th, 2023, one device

Speaker 1 linked Crooks visited All Guinea Arms. So this is the place where he got guns.
So they tracked all of his phones and the people that visited him. So someone.

Speaker 1 There it is. That's a serious.
This is a stupid fucking watch.

Speaker 1 So someone visited. Does that mean that it was the FBI that did something? No, it doesn't necessarily.
It could be anything.

Speaker 1 It could be just a person that randomly happened to be there that went to that area.

Speaker 1 But it's kind of weird that they're not showing you the toxicology. It's kind of weird.
There's no press conference.

Speaker 1 The guy tried to shoot, the guy was the president for four years, and everyone's making like it's no big deal.

Speaker 1 And then when they asked him, they asked Kamala Harris about Secret Service protection, she's like, a lot of people don't feel safe. You know, trans people don't feel safe.

Speaker 1 It's like there was like this crazy take on it that was so nuts.

Speaker 1 Like, what are you talking about? That could be you. The crazy people are out there.
You have to protect all of us. High-profile people that are running for president.
Do you believe in democracy?

Speaker 1 You have to protect them. You can't say everyone feels in danger.

Speaker 1 No one feels safe. I don't feel safe.
Immigrants don't feel safe. Trump shots them.

Speaker 1 He got shot in the fucking head. You know what the guy behind him that got killed? Miracle.
It hit his ear. Yeah, he turned weirdly.
And it worked. He makes me feel like we're in a movie.

Speaker 1 Wasn't JFK yesterday? Is that right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 63.

Speaker 1 22nd. Is that what it is? Yeah, I think that was yesterday.
Whoa.

Speaker 1 Does RFK have security yet? Oh, he's got a shitload.

Speaker 1 Oh, there you go. Yeah, he's got a shitload of security.
Tony has security. Of course, RFK has it.
Well, Tony has security before he needed security. Tony was like, isn't it cool they have security?

Speaker 1 They each have a throne.

Speaker 1 They each have a throne.

Speaker 1 I'm chitting on too much. Swords.
Two of Thrones. Tony rules.

Speaker 1 I love Tony. I know.

Speaker 1 I think I've been nothing but negative so far. No.
Somebody brings up Tony. I'm like, shut up.
We're goofing.

Speaker 1 Isn't it kind of crazy, though, that someone tried to kill him, and it's kind of like an afterthought. No one cares about it anymore.
It's strange. It would have been the next Lee Harvey Oswald.

Speaker 1 If that guy shot Trump and killed him, and then they killed that guy, that would have been it. We would have never known.
It would have never

Speaker 1 known. It would have been just like the JFK assassination.
10 years from now, fucking Giannis Papas would be on some late-night talk show with a video of the assassination

Speaker 1 that no one saw before.

Speaker 1 Just like Dick Dick Gregory did. Somebody would.
You know, Dick Gregory was a comic. Yeah, Gregory, I've been researching him a little bit, ruled, gave up his whole comedy career.
For activism.

Speaker 1 Said, I can't be a fucking accepted black while nobody else is. Playing cool ass music?

Speaker 1 Oh, is this fucker? What is it? Are you ringing? I'm watching you, weirdos.

Speaker 1 I was an ad.

Speaker 1 I thought Jamie was setting us up for something. I'm like, what the fuck is going on? What are you talking about? He's He's like, Jamie, what is this? That's hilarious.
That's your ringer? No, no, no.

Speaker 1 It was an ad on a fucking precocious bastard. Oh, you were watching something while pissing.
I was looking at sports scores.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Dick Gregory's one of those guys, and I'm mad that I didn't go to one of his shows.

Speaker 1 Because he had a show in New York, and I was thinking of traveling and going to see it, and I didn't go to the show. I saw him at the DCM pro.
Oh, not at DC Prov.

Speaker 1 John X rent a room, and I saw him there, and it was three and a half hours long. Oh, whoa.

Speaker 1 And it was, he gave up his whole career because I can't be an accepted black man while none of my cohorts are accepted. Fuck this.
What do you mean?

Speaker 1 He goes, I can't be accepted by whites where nobody else is in the 60s. This is a long time ago.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Cosby was accepted.
And he goes, I know.

Speaker 1 But a different time. I know.
He goes, I'm not going to be that.

Speaker 1 And then he wrote a book called The N-Word. Yeah.
And, but actual. And then now people are getting banned for suggesting it because of the title.

Speaker 1 But that guy

Speaker 1 underrated how crazy and influential and intelligent he was. 100% funny.
100%. That's That's the whole thing about him getting that video.
So he got that film from Time Magazine.

Speaker 1 Time Magazine had that film for 12 years. What film? The film of the Zapruder assassination, the Sapruder version of the assassination.
So Adrian Zapruder was filming with a Super 8 camera.

Speaker 1 And he catches Kennedy's head exploding and his head going back into the right.

Speaker 1 And that threw this giant monkey wrench into the whole narrative of that he was shot from the school book depository because because his head goes back into the left from a bullet that's supposed to come from behind him.

Speaker 1 It doesn't make any sense. And then on top of that, there's a moment where he grabs his neck, which is the entry hole.
He got shot in the neck. So someone shot him from the front.

Speaker 1 But in the Bethesda, Maryland autopsy report, that's a tracheotomy hole.

Speaker 1 But hold on, in the Dallas version of it, when they got his body in Dallas, they said it was an entry hole. So there's a lot of contradictory evidence.

Speaker 1 This is all in David Lifton wrote a book called Best Evidence that Turned Me Into a Fucking Loon. And so

Speaker 1 I love how you push back on Trump with that. That was baller.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 How much do you read? He goes, I read enough. He goes, How much?

Speaker 1 Plenty. How much, though?

Speaker 1 Enough. More than half or less than half.
Well, he wanted to win, and I didn't want to push too hard. Yeah.
Right? I'm like, I'm trying to have a conversation with this guy where I'm going to ask.

Speaker 1 One of the big things was like, you did ramp up the budget deficit. You did ranch up.
You ramped up what we owe.

Speaker 1 But what he explained that kind of makes sense is that what he was doing with getting rid of regulations, more American oil, it was going to stimulate the economy. We were on our way to overcoming it.

Speaker 1 Then we got hit by COVID. Okay, that's reasonable.
Because the deficit did increase significantly during his term because of tariffs, because of a bunch of...

Speaker 1 So I was trying to figure out, like, I don't understand that stuff. I just know what I read about it.

Speaker 1 I did my best best to try to like what's like a very important aspect of what he's talking about we're going to bring the economy back okay but during your time the deficit did rise so what was that about so he had a reasonable explanation his his explanation was it takes time we were on our way to coming back in a huge way and then we got hit with covet everything got shut down that's all real and then there's like a bunch of collusions to why did we get shut down when he wanted everything to open back up.

Speaker 1 Did they want the economy to tank right before the election? Fucking, of course they did. Of course they did.
That's why they lower gas prices right before an election.

Speaker 1 But if what I've known about you for 80 years, I've known you is JFK assassination and aliens. What about the most two big ones?

Speaker 1 And it's like, if I could tell, if I could see in any future of Joe Rogan talking to a former or current president, he would ask those two questions.

Speaker 1 I was a little disappointed with the, that was one of those moments. You ever hear someone say something dumb as fuck? And you're like, oh, shit, this guy's dumb.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That was like the, I don't think Trump's dumb at all. But that was when he was talking to you about aliens, and you asked him a question, he was like, yeah, Mars, who knows?

Speaker 1 And it's like, no, it's obviously not Mars.

Speaker 1 It's not that close. It's far, far off.
That was the one moment where I was like, oh, shit. You brought up aliens? Anyone to fuck those pilots? Yeah, we talked about aliens.
He'd have to ask.

Speaker 1 He'd have to ask the Area 51 and what happened. It was the Mars comment.

Speaker 1 That's one of those, like, one time I was smoking weed with my friend. We were looking at the stars, and a shooting star went by and he was like, Is that like a that's a star flying through the air?

Speaker 1 No, no, you have no concept at all. No, it's not at all.

Speaker 1 It was the same thing, like with Trump with the UFOs things. He was like,

Speaker 1 Yeah, Mars is right there. Also, there's a thing, no,

Speaker 1 but hold on. There's a thing about Mars that's fascinating, and one of the things about Mars that's fascinating is at one point in time, whoever, whatever billion years ago, it had an atmosphere.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and

Speaker 1 it was probably closer to the sun, and it probably had life. It probably had something.
I think that was billions of years ago.

Speaker 1 What does it mean by life? Some sort of biological life. Right.

Speaker 1 Amoebas? Yeah, something. Now, whether or not there was actually human beings.
Dragons, possibly. But what is it? The Dogon tribe? Is it the Dogon tribe? Dragons, maybe.

Speaker 1 I believe in both aliens and dragons. How about that? There you go.
Joy.

Speaker 1 And I also believe in Joy Behar. Hey, Joy Behar.

Speaker 1 Joy Behar.

Speaker 1 Joy Behar is a fucking comedian. Joy Behar is a comedian.

Speaker 1 But even was. I'll give it to you if you were.
Like, we're in the same tribe. True.
Like, I don't hate that lady.

Speaker 1 I know she's lost, but they're all lost on that fucking show. Imagine being on that show.
You got an audience in front of you. You have seven-minute segments.
You got a bunch of producers.

Speaker 1 You're on ABC News. Like, shut the fuck up.
That show sucks.

Speaker 1 You're not going to make it any better. You know, but she's just a lady.
She's a lady trapped in her own biology. She's trapped in her own age.
She's trapped in the time she lives in.

Speaker 1 She's on a show where her and Whippy Goldberg are the matriarchs. Like, it's chaos.
The whole thing's nuts. It is nutty.
It's nuts.

Speaker 1 They need Barbara Walters to come back from the grave and start running that thing correctly.

Speaker 1 And if you watch when Trump went on, this is the crazy thing.

Speaker 1 Trump in the view. I sent this to the grandma.
We could play this now. Let's put this in.
Trump in the view during this. I would not

Speaker 1 have bought years ago when they blew him.

Speaker 1 No, they blew him.

Speaker 1 When Trump was here, I wanted to open up the show. This is my thought when I had him on.
And I talked about it, but I didn't have that clip because I didn't want him to copyright flag it.

Speaker 1 No, I didn't want him to copyright flag it because it's so crazy. I was like, this conversation I'm having with him is so important.

Speaker 1 I'm just like, let's just reference it. Let's just reference it.
So the video is from like 2012. It's like before he even runs for president.
He goes on the view and they go, our friend Donald Trump.

Speaker 1 And the whole audience cheers. Watch this.
You've never seen this? No. Watch this.
What? I said it's a big one. Because he was a bit.
Well, Mark, I ignore a lot of your stuff.

Speaker 1 I understand.

Speaker 1 I get it. Where's the lighter? The lighter's right here.
Thank you. Well, Barbara Wawa.
Welcome, my friend, Donald Trump.

Speaker 1 They don't want to show that he was their friend. 2011.

Speaker 1 Well, it looks the same. Look at the cheers.
Look at the cheers. Yeah, he had a board game.
Standing ovation. He had a board game.
Standing ovation. Look at this.
Sherry Shepherd. Hey, there she is.

Speaker 1 Look at this. Hugs.
Choi Behar. Choi Behar.
Big hug and a kiss. She says my friend.
Look at that.

Speaker 1 Barbara Walters, what we go away. Big hug and a kiss.
They just hugged Hitler. Who's the one hot chuck?

Speaker 1 Elizabeth Hasselbeck from Survivor.

Speaker 1 She's a Republican. You have not been.
Married to a fucking quarterback.

Speaker 1 Quarterback and Hasselbeck.

Speaker 1 Look at this.

Speaker 1 I mean, this is amazing. They loved him.
They sat down with him. They talked to him about how he's progressive and liberal when it comes to social issues, but economically conservative.

Speaker 1 And you might be a great president. Are you going to run? And he was talking about it.

Speaker 1 And look how the hell is it? Look at how he seems to not be having it from the jump, though. Who cares? She's still being there? She's barely alive.

Speaker 1 Look at Joy Behar. Look at Joy Behar right next to her.
All huggy, kissy.

Speaker 1 Dude, Trump holds it down.

Speaker 1 Look at that. They're all hanging on his every word.
They're all hanging out with him. They're happy to be there with him.
You ever seen him on Oprah? Oh, yeah, it's amazing. Killed it.

Speaker 1 Oprah was also asking him to run for president. The whole thing is nuts.
That is smooth. Way back in the day.
Okay, find out when Oprah, go to Oprah asking Trump if he's going to run for president.

Speaker 1 What we saw is the greatest media psyop in history. Wow.
Did he say grab him by the pussy? Of course he did. Guess who else did? A lot of those people.
Especially back in those days.

Speaker 1 Back in the days before the internet, people said, why are you going to be able to do that?

Speaker 1 I say family. Grab him by the pussy.
Lock around the city. I listened to the whole thing.

Speaker 1 It was a normal conversation. He was like, I'm rich, so girls let me do stuff.
I'm famous. I don't understand the.

Speaker 1 Even Chappelle had a joke about that. He goes, you left out the second part, and you intentionally left out the second part.
It goes, and they let me, which implies consent.

Speaker 1 That's exactly it. So you're leaving out where they gave me consent to make it seem like.

Speaker 1 He was being funny.

Speaker 1 He was really just grabbing people by the... It's a funny thing to say.
Who does that? It's a ridiculous thing to say. It's a hard thing to grab.
It's like negative space. It's negative space.

Speaker 1 You really got to have two stickers in like a bowler. Every time you try to grab it, it? You could grab it.

Speaker 1 When you were a young man, you could grab it. Grab them there.

Speaker 1 Tell that to girls at bars. Where my dick was.
Tell it to girls at bars.

Speaker 1 Way lower. Way lower.
Way lower. Fuck a belly body.
We're talking about children grabbing.

Speaker 1 But tell it to guys at bars. Girls at bars get grabbed all the time.
There's a lot of scumbags out there. Not just

Speaker 1 a pussy. Yes, 100%.
I've talked to girls who've had their pussy grabbed by some douchebag who's drunk at a bar. Oh, wow.
Yeah. Pussy.
Grab it.

Speaker 1 Grab a hold of it. Shit face the hooters.
You go, all right, pay-per-view's over. Come here.

Speaker 1 That's great.

Speaker 1 I'm getting kicked out. And I'm getting kicked out.
The point is. Oh, because I like the Raiders.
See, watch this. This is...
Look at him. He's cool and calm and collected.
This is from 1988.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's it. Player.

Speaker 2 They come over here, they sell their cars, their VCRs, they knock the hell out of our companies. And hey, I have tremendous respect for the Japanese people.

Speaker 2 I mean, you can respect somebody that's beating the hell out of you, but they are beating the hell out of this country. Kuwait, they live like kings.

Speaker 2 The poorest person in Kuwait, they live like kings.

Speaker 1 And yet they're not paying.

Speaker 2 We make it possible for them to sell their oil.

Speaker 1 Why aren't they paying us 25% of the people? This is before we invaded.

Speaker 3 It's a joke.

Speaker 9 This sounds like political presidential talk to me, and I know people have talked to you about whether or not you want to run.

Speaker 9 Would you ever?

Speaker 2 Probably not, but I do get tired of seeing the country rip away.

Speaker 9 Why would you not?

Speaker 2 I just don't think I really have the inclination to do it. I love what I'm doing.
I really like it.

Speaker 9 Also, it doesn't pay as well.

Speaker 1 No, it doesn't.

Speaker 2 But, you know, I just probably wouldn't do it.

Speaker 2 I probably wouldn't, but I do get tired of seeing seeing what's happening with this country.

Speaker 2 And if it got so bad, I would never want to rule it out totally because I really am tired of seeing what's happening with this country, how we're how we're really making other people live like kings, and we're not.

Speaker 9 What do you think of this year's presidential rate?

Speaker 1 Good enough. Who is ADA?

Speaker 1 Dukakis. Bush.
Bush Dukakis. Yeah.
So

Speaker 1 what you're seeing with Trump, regardless of his flaws, what you're seeing with Trump, regardless of flaws, is a massive concentrated psyop.

Speaker 1 They've distorted who he is to the point where most people think that way. Most people think that way.
They've had narratives.

Speaker 1 What is a psyop? I keep hearing that. Psychological operation where they've decided to distort people's perceptions of things.
Yeah, when you tell like an older liberal that

Speaker 1 the Obama deportations were higher than the Trump deportations, they go,

Speaker 1 what? No. And you go, no, I'll just, let me just Google deportations, Obama Bombarius Trump.
And you go, it's lower. They go, wait, what? Like, here's 19 straight articles saying that I'm right.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And they go, that doesn't make sense. And you go, right.

Speaker 1 Focus on what's giving you the reality of the world. Check this out.
Jamie, go to that Hillary Clinton thing that I texted you today. Jamo.
This one is wild.

Speaker 1 This is Hillary Clinton in like 2008 and Hillary Clinton saying some wild MAGA type shit about

Speaker 1 the wildest shit about illegal immigrants. Where's does she go? Hold up, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go back from the beginning.
Do it from the beginning.

Speaker 1 It's okay. Do it from the beginning.

Speaker 1 But want to hear.

Speaker 10 No questions asked. They're gone.

Speaker 1 She's a Republican.

Speaker 10 If they've been working and are law-abiding, we should say, here are the conditions for you staying. You have to pay a stiff fine because you came here illegally.
You have to pay back taxes.

Speaker 10 And you have to try to learn English.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 You have to wait in line. You have to wait in line.
And everybody's cheering.

Speaker 1 2008. Hillary Clinton was more MAGA than Trump.
She was better than a Republican. But how about that? Wow.
More MAGA than Trump. And that's all.
You couldn't believe that if you watched it.

Speaker 1 It's an illusion. It's all a fucking illusion.
All of them, when convenient, have said the exact same things. Dragons are real.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy.
They give you a false sense of reality, and you just got to shut them both off. Because they had control of the media up until now.

Speaker 1 This election was the first time they didn't really have control of the media anymore. Because of what? Because of us.
Non-mainstream media. Because of podcasts.
Podcasts. Selling tickets.

Speaker 1 Because of social media. Because they're humanizing Trump.
Like, well, he's a human. Yeah.
So why can't I? By the other lady on.

Speaker 1 They've been caught up in all this shit that they've shoved down everybody's throat, especially all the Russia shit.

Speaker 1 Do you think the campaign people for Kamala Harris was going, we should have let her go on Rogan? Definitely. Or they would have to be.
Some people would have to say that.

Speaker 1 Some people, maybe. It would have been a win.
I would have been nice to her. You told him nice.
I told her I will talk about anything.

Speaker 1 They didn't want to talk about marijuana legalization and they didn't want to talk about internet censorship.

Speaker 1 But then they changed their mind about the internet censorship. And then they contacted and said they want to talk about internet censorship.

Speaker 1 We had like no bullshit. At least, I didn't have any of them.
But there was at least three calls.

Speaker 1 There was like multiple emails back and forth and there was dates proposed this idea that they passed on it because the progressive people look i'm sure the progressive people didn't want her to do it i'm sure there's people that didn't want her to do it but they were trying to schedule it this is not a thing that was like they had resistance to it they contacted me they contacted me when they found out when trump's camp leaked that he was coming on they contacted me and they wanted to come on they had contacted me before and were inquiring about coming on once trump said he was coming on then they wanted to come on But they wanted me to do an hour and they wanted me to travel to them.

Speaker 1 Well, that's crazy. But, like, yeah, it's like Elon said it best.
He said, those last two hours are where you really find out what's going on. Like, you can bullshit people for 40 minutes.

Speaker 1 If I'm talking to you for three hours, we're going to talk about some real shit. That's where that funnel comes up.
Let's protect our parks. Let's protect our parks.

Speaker 1 I hate people from North Dakota. It's obvious.

Speaker 1 But I don't know anybody. The Caller Daddy, they had to build the set.
They had to replicate it. And it costs like, you know, a couple hundred hundred grand.
They sent six figures. So

Speaker 1 it still didn't hit a million views. You know what does hit a million views? Neil Diamond's coming to America.
I'm good for now. You're not a bad one.
We just did one in Europe. You can't.
No, no, no.

Speaker 1 We just did it. No, Mark and I just did them.
That's right.

Speaker 1 That's 100% true. Mark and I side up.
That's a psychopath. It's true.
It's true.

Speaker 1 I think I just did him. Didn't you just do them? Yeah, he did.
He watched him before we did him. No, no, no, no, no.
We psyop. We went first on that.
We did them last. Jamie, is that correct?

Speaker 1 Did we do them last time? Jamie, that's a psychopath. That's not.
I think they did them last. I don't think you did them before us.
What song did you guys just play?

Speaker 1 We played Hawk Hogan.

Speaker 1 Yes. Oh, that's what he told me he had bad breath.

Speaker 1 Here's the craziest thing about Trump.

Speaker 1 The people that love him, there's a spectrum of the people that love him where you're terrified you're going to run into them people.

Speaker 1 You're terrified you're going to get cornered by those people. I was in Aspen, and this fucking lady came up to me, and it was like her and her daughter.

Speaker 1 The lady was like 59-ish, 65-ish, you know, that kind of age.

Speaker 1 And she comes up to me, she goes, she goes, you know Trump's the real president of the United States. And I go, but he's not.
I go, Joe Biden's the president. Like, they already called the election.

Speaker 1 She goes, oh, you're one of them. I go,

Speaker 1 he won the election. I don't know if the election was good.
You know, maybe it wasn't good, but he's not the president.

Speaker 1 If you look online, if you Google it, I go, it says President Biden. Yeah, he is the president.
There's those people that if you get caught with them, like they, you know, they're all in.

Speaker 1 9-11 truthers. They're all in.
Yeah. You did push back hard on, like, why was it rigged? I like that.
It does feel like he is running shit. Tell me why it's rigged.
What do you mean?

Speaker 1 I wanted to, I would hope that he would have had a good answer. I would have hoped he had data that he could spit out.

Speaker 1 If you told me, if I really ran for president, I knew they rigged it, and they gave me evidence enough that I would say publicly they rigged it, I'd be able to spit that out. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Instead of just saying it. We should be part of the cabinet.
We're protecting parks.

Speaker 1 We should be the official podcast. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Official podcast.

Speaker 1 I will tell you, that video, we haven't watched it yet. That video of him saying, we're done with internet censorship was like, this actually affects me, me, and I like what he's saying.
Huge.

Speaker 1 I liked it. It got me fired up.
These fucking companies are scary because they dictate the narrative of the whole world. It's not just as simple as, oh, you're removing hate speech.

Speaker 1 No, you're changing the way people talk about things. And you're dorks.

Speaker 1 You're not people that I want changing these things.

Speaker 1 When I was in college, they were talking about verbal consent. That was a big thing.
And every cool person was like, those are virgins telling us how to do sex.

Speaker 1 It's like the gays on

Speaker 1 America's Got Talent telling us who's hot. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'll allow it.

Speaker 1 I'll allow it. Which one are you talking about?

Speaker 1 I don't know what that means.

Speaker 1 Lionel Ritchie, who the fuck are you talking about? Well, you know, the America's Talent Sherman. That's what I meant.
When he said,

Speaker 1 America's talking, I'm like, no, no, no, you're not. You're gay.
When he said, without free speech, we're fucked. Without free speech, we're fucked.
Yeah. Without free speech, we're fucked.

Speaker 1 Let's play that. You get no, yeah, let's play that.
You get no Protect Our Parks without free speech. Yeah.
Imagine if Comedy Central gave us notes on Protect Our Parks.

Speaker 1 Well, do you remember when it'd be like 11 minutes? Do you remember when you hosted a stand-up show right after the Iraq invasion? Yeah. And what did they tell you? I don't remember.

Speaker 1 They said, no, talking about Bush, no talking about the war. Where was that? On NBC late Friday.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Right? Am I wrong or no? No, I think you're right. Yeah.
I think that was a narrative for every comic that went up there. Just can't talk about this.

Speaker 1 Yeah, can't talk about Bush, can't talk about the war. And you're like, no, don't talk.
Don't say anything. Remember, Mitzi wouldn't let Holtzman go on stage for two weeks after 9-11?

Speaker 1 Duncan had to call him. That makes sense.
Yeah. Disgusted.
But it's fucking amazing. No, but actually,

Speaker 1 it tracks because she was like, tell Holtzman, like, hey, we love you, but you can't go on. Happened on Tuesday.

Speaker 1 Closed Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, open on Friday Saturday Holtzman you can't get spots Sunday was open mic night you can go up me and Stan Hope were watching Holtzman go up Thank you, and he was talking about how he would have jumped out and tried to hit a cop

Speaker 1 and Stan Hope was like I disagree with 90% of this, but he's saying it so well And it had to be an open mic night to get him on duncan called him He goes Did you know anybody in 9-11?

Speaker 1 He goes, I know they're Americans

Speaker 1 I don't know else you gotta know. He's got a home here now.
You know, he's headlining. excelling.
Instead of

Speaker 1 damn, if he was in L.A., he'd be crucified. He'd be crucified there for him.
But they weren't giving him good spots at the store. He was getting these spots at 2 o'clock in the morning.

Speaker 1 There was no one left. He was getting these spots where we would be in the back laughing.
But it was like, you know, 10 people in the crowd. He's rolling up laughing.
Like so hard.

Speaker 1 I'm almost there. Holtzman is such an animal.
Bro, you can't believe.

Speaker 1 He's so crazy. But now he's doing it to pack crowds, and they're coming from all over the world to come see Holtzman.
And they know who

Speaker 1 Holtzman. Holtzman's show.
His shows sell. Oh, good.
He's doing sets all the time at the mothership. He's here all the time.
I just saw him the other day. He was murdering.
He's probably nuts.

Speaker 1 He's out of his fucking mind. He's out of his fucking mind.
When we killed Tony Garden, he got up there and he was like, fuck Billy Joel. Fuck Billy Joel.
You know what I mean? People here.

Speaker 1 MST has committed suicide because they got to work on a Billy Joe's show. I heard like a half an hour or something.
He's got a batter.

Speaker 1 The guy's got a batter up next to the fucking Rangers. He's like, fuck Billy Joel.
He's fucking screaming and the audience is dying. You guys are upset.

Speaker 1 And by the way, you got to realize this is only like probably the second or third time ever he's performed in an arena. He did one of those kill Tony's in an arena.
That didn't go that good.

Speaker 1 I was there for that one. That was not that good.
That was not that good. But the Madison Square Garden one, he fucking killed.

Speaker 1 Bro, that was so. Madison Square Garden was so fun.
It was not just fun. It was like...

Speaker 1 It was like a moment in comedy history where you felt like, like, this is going to be something that people talk about in the future. You know, like this, this broke through.

Speaker 1 This show that I watched in the belly room that had like 10 people in the audience. I was in one of the third or fourth episodes ever.
And now you have it here in Madison Square Garden.

Speaker 1 It's sold out in 40 minutes. Aaron Rodgers throwing out footballs to the crowds.

Speaker 1 The Black Keys performed. Jelly Roll performed.
Dice Clay performed. Dice Clay at MSG.
It was amazing. That was wild.
Joey Diaz, when I brought Joey Diaz out, it was amazing. Electric.

Speaker 1 Listen, I've never, I not endorse a candidate. I've never endorsed a candidate, but I will endorse one today.
No one knows who's coming out. My endorsement for president.

Speaker 1 One of the greatest humans that's ever lived. Joey Diaz.
And like, don't fire away! They're going to fire away! And when he was walking out there, everybody knows him. He's like a legend now.

Speaker 1 He's like a fucking snufflephagus.

Speaker 1 He's like a mysterious guy. He actually didn't walk out like a snufflephagus.

Speaker 1 Slow like that. He's like a mythical being.
And when he goes out there, people just had this giant smile on their face.

Speaker 1 I was watching these people because I was beside him, so I'm watching you know the audience as they're watching him. Oh my god, it was amazing!

Speaker 1 Everyone is having. I was sitting next to

Speaker 1 him watching dice, and it was like we were back in high school. Yeah, this is his stage where we first saw him.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 all of it, all of it. I was with the Are You Garbage Guy.
We're just like Brennan Zi and Simone came up. It was just like so fun.
It was a celebration of comedy. Yep.

Speaker 1 You know, Gomez was there, Big J was there. It was a real celebration of comedy.
Gomez crushed, Big J crushed, DeRosi. Yeah,

Speaker 1 everybody.

Speaker 1 It was a celebration of, like, this kind of comedy, the kind that we like, the wild shit, where someone's saying something crazy. You're like, ah! And Tony just said everybody.

Speaker 1 I know you hate him, but he just set everybody up so well.

Speaker 1 Did you see those, Tony? You see Dice with Seinfeld? Oh, no. No.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 You saw him at the park.

Speaker 1 Don't give it away. Okay, okay, okay.
Let's bother beer. Is this a recent one?

Speaker 1 Song or no?

Speaker 1 Hold on. We got dice videos.

Speaker 1 Hit him a song before we're coming to America, Neil Diamond? Give me Freebird middle of the ramp.

Speaker 1 Freebird, middle of the.

Speaker 1 Hold on, J-Mo's got a lot of ones and twos going on here. Middle of the guitar solo.

Speaker 1 Here we go. J-Mo.
You get a ball.

Speaker 1 Yeah, J-Mo. J-Mo, you got an extra beer.
Get that mustache wet. Jamie will get in there.
J-Mo has been really good.

Speaker 1 We're at three and a half hours in. Here we go.

Speaker 1 Oh, hell yeah.

Speaker 1 Oakland Coliseum.

Speaker 1 Hey, two million views.

Speaker 1 That's the most American riff of all time.

Speaker 1 Oh, how is Josh Brolin?

Speaker 1 Cool guy. What's that? How is Josh Broling? Oh, he's awesome.

Speaker 1 Look at this.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 Look at Bert.

Speaker 1 That's wearing like a

Speaker 1 cult outfit.

Speaker 1 Magic times. Just chill.

Speaker 1 Magic times. Just chilling and shredding.
No phone. Good J-Mo one.

Speaker 1 All right, let's get that to J-Mo. And let's see that Seinfeld.
That's fine. Seinfeld getting chased down by dice.
He interrupted me on stage the other way, like three days ago. Yeah, I saw that.

Speaker 1 I'm on stage. He just comes up with his camera out.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Fuck. You handle it well.

Speaker 1 He's amazing.

Speaker 1 He's coming here soon. National Treasure.
I think he's back here in December. Headline.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, on the website it says coming soon.
Yeah. Just like alerting people.
I think it's on his Instagram, J-Mo.

Speaker 1 He's walking through Central Park.

Speaker 1 It's there. How good is this fucking guitar solo? Never gets old.
Never. I mean, it's one of the greatest of all time.
If I ever want to feel good and I'm driving down the street, I'll crank that.

Speaker 1 Which one it is? Right there. That's it.

Speaker 1 That's it. Let's hear it.
Kill the music.

Speaker 1 Big shot, comedian.

Speaker 1 Tense up. Big shot.
Big shot over here, Jerry.

Speaker 1 staying

Speaker 1 merch. He's wearing merch for his movie.
They're walking away like, who's this fucking psycho? He's tensed up. I've been there.

Speaker 1 Comedian.

Speaker 1 The guy's like, let's get out of here. Let's get it.
Just keep walking.

Speaker 1 Some lunatic.

Speaker 1 He's wearing a free jacket.

Speaker 1 What do you mean?

Speaker 1 Somebody gave it to a fucking

Speaker 1 movie. Unfrosted.
From the fucking Yeah, swag. Yeah,

Speaker 1 swag.

Speaker 1 He's normal or

Speaker 1 Jewish as fuck.

Speaker 1 I'll lie.

Speaker 1 Jameson. I did some fundraiser.
Yeah, get excited, Jamo. Jamie, this is such a Jamie.
Sad guy.

Speaker 1 Witch. I owe.

Speaker 1 Hey, fuck you, Indiana Hoosiers.

Speaker 1 Nice ponytail,

Speaker 1 Ohio State's dick. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, fuck Jamo. Oh, damn.

Speaker 1 That was insane. Yeah, Jamie doesn't fuck around.
That was so quick. Holy shit.
That's a new record. That's the throat goat.
That's pretty damn good. Wow.

Speaker 1 Jamie Rules. RFK's out.
New throat goat.

Speaker 1 Take a throat goat?

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 me for a second. Easy, that's offensive.

Speaker 1 What's Tulsi going to do for the new thing?

Speaker 1 She's something about national intelligence, right? What is she?

Speaker 1 She should be Secretary of State. Hawaiian.
She has some serious top-level clearance.

Speaker 1 What the the fuck? I want to find out about UFO. Yeah,

Speaker 1 that's you. Tulsi's my friend.

Speaker 1 J-Mo set the record, but at what cost?

Speaker 1 Shit, blood already.

Speaker 1 Well, that was crazy. He ran right out.

Speaker 1 That wasn't a P-Run. That was a ranch out.

Speaker 1 That was a fucking Jimmy Johnson coming up. Free fast.
Full miscarriage. That was one ball.

Speaker 1 The hoop is brought to you by Jimmy Jones. That's an Italian sub ready to make birth.

Speaker 1 Three smells. Boom, ba-boom.
Oh, I did that. I did some benefit.
I got to wear the suit. Thanks again for those suits.
David August.

Speaker 1 David, what? David August. David August.
That's it. Suit rules.
We hung out, Cat Martini's all night one night. I wore it for Kill Tony.
That suit rules. Those things are perfect.
You get a fit.

Speaker 1 When you get a suit that's designed actually for your actual body. Never had.
I've been a warehouse, men's warehouse cunt for my whole life.

Speaker 1 I told that guy, I was like, hey, I just like a weird cup, but also stylish. And then it's like, he's like, I'm like, you know what? You're an artist.
I think you get it. Go.
He got your dope boy.

Speaker 1 He got it. That was a beauty.

Speaker 1 He did good, but he fucked with me. Why? How so? The guy that he was taking pictures when we were here last? David August.
And he

Speaker 1 was like, well, your left shoulder slouches more than your right. You lean left? I've thought about it every single day.

Speaker 1 That's a

Speaker 1 Brian Regan bet. Really? Yeah, he goes, I went to get my eyes tested.
The doctor was like, hey, just your eyes are slightly off-center. Nothing to worry about.

Speaker 1 I just thought you wanted to focus on it for the rest of your life. I've thought about it.

Speaker 1 That too. Yeah, that rings true.
I've thought about it non-stop every second. That's Lucas.

Speaker 1 He's good, man. He knows how to measure you.
Oh, yeah. You get a suit, and it's like, it feels like it's designed for your body.
It's so much better. It's draped on.
It's skin.

Speaker 1 It's got your name in the

Speaker 1 skin. It's the name.
He puts a tie with it. I know.
Yeah, it's pretty cool. Yes.
Very nice. Yeah, get it.
Joe. Yes, sir.

Speaker 1 That was fucking cool.

Speaker 1 That was really, really nice. Thank you very much.
Joe's like, hey, come an hour early. Like, why? Like, get a suit.

Speaker 1 What? Okay. And then he goes, what do you want? Four? I'm like, throat.

Speaker 1 Let's get some fucking suits. Let's get some suits, son.
Everything's like the hotel, the car. It's all very nice.

Speaker 1 You're a mensch. Well, I like to treat people the way I like to be treated.

Speaker 1 Joe Fox

Speaker 1 for, gush for a second, for equal pay for comedians in Los Angeles.

Speaker 1 When all those book shows were like, oh, we'll give you your 50 bucks. And Joe's like, no, you're fucking making money off us now.
Oh, the mother shows you.

Speaker 1 and you don't need the 600 it's not that it's it's it's it's uh it's uh who was the guy who went in front of congress and spoke about from from colorado rocky mountain high oh david lucas no

Speaker 1 singing about rap john denver john denver that's you fighting for 600 bucks it's like i don't need this it's bullshit you're not giving everybody their equal pay no it was david lucas it was

Speaker 1 well the store was like a great a great place for us to work out shit but it was also also like, wait a minute, why is the guy who's running the show making $6,000 and no one's making anything other than a couple of people?

Speaker 1 This is crazy. Like, this whole thing's nuts.
But it's like, you know, if you let

Speaker 1 people do that, they're going to do it. They're going to rip people off.
You let them rip people off. They're going to rip people off.

Speaker 1 You got that right. Jesus Christ.

Speaker 1 It's just one of those things.

Speaker 1 If they don't get checked, I mean, that's what happened if unions didn't exist. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, if unions didn't exist, imagine if you just pay people people whatever you want to pay them, and then all these illegals are spilling in. Child labor, fine.
Yeah, fine.

Speaker 1 No child laws, no child labor laws. We'd be fucked.
Are you saying comedians need a union? Nah, that'll never work. There's just too many cunts.
They'll turn against each other in no time.

Speaker 1 Clubs would be Italians having a union.

Speaker 1 You really need clubs run by comics.

Speaker 1 If all clubs were run by comedy, are there any? That's a horrible thing. Well, I think there's a couple other ones.
That one at Key West, that guy is a comedy that runs it. Tom Dustin.
That plays.

Speaker 1 There's Brother Kay Arts Club. that Joe List

Speaker 1 documentary is killer the funniest documentary I've ever seen in my life we saw it in the theater yeah we saw it at Angelica because it's about a comedian portrait of a comedian where can you get it he just got a deal to be in theater they're in theater so it's going to come out eventually

Speaker 1 but it was just a comic being a comic and that's the documentary he's not playing it up I think best case scenario is every comic who gets a pile of money you should invest in a club that's the best I think it should be at this

Speaker 1 Chapel did it he did it but you were on acid that one time when you were talking to me, you're like, don't ever open a room. It's

Speaker 1 just

Speaker 1 casual. It's kind of like acid talk.
It's casual compliance. I feel like this.
I'm like, it's a lot of work. But we ironed out a lot of the problems.

Speaker 1 It's work, man. It's work.
It's work, but it's worth it.

Speaker 1 It really is worth it. I was at, hold on.
No.

Speaker 1 You're misquoting me. I definitely never said never open up a room.
I said, it's a lot of work, and you have to have a lot of money.

Speaker 1 You have to be willing to not make money. And most things things that people do where they invest a lot of money, they want to make money.

Speaker 1 My thought was like,

Speaker 1 if anybody has the ability to do it the right way, it's me. Like, I have to do it.
Like, I have to,

Speaker 1 what I would, if I was a kid and I was looking at like comics that had a lot of money, if I had that guy's money, you know what I would do? We all

Speaker 1 dreamed about that. Right.
I'm like, well, I'll just do it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And it's a hit. And then you can just go.
You have a billion dollars. Like, why do I fly to make money? Why do my wife fly to make 100 grand? Like, I just go here.
That means nothing to you.

Speaker 1 It's also so much easier on your life. You don't have to fly all the time.
Drive in, dine all the time.

Speaker 1 Sucks.

Speaker 1 You're always tired. Yeah.
You get worn out all the time. Flying just fucking kills your immune system.
You're always exhausted. Agreed.
Yeah, right. Jet lag is the worst.

Speaker 1 I got to go a day early now so I don't get sick. Yeah, and you have to drink a lot of water and get to the gym and your body has to reset.
You're like, what the fuck? Oh, shit. What were you saying?

Speaker 1 Oh, I was going to say, I was at, I went out to Ohio for Chappelle's birthday this year and did his show and all that.

Speaker 1 And then we, after we did the outside show, we went to his club and he was hammered.

Speaker 1 It was his birthday. Get out of here.
It was his birthday, and he was just up on stage holding everyone hostage, hammered. But

Speaker 1 he said the funniest shit. He was just up there, and he's like, I worked my whole life to build this club.

Speaker 1 To bomb in front of you, motherfuckers.

Speaker 1 It was so good. There was just all these people standing there like.

Speaker 1 But he knew knew it wasn't going well. He just kept going.
It was so funny. Well, he'll keep going to try to find the nuggets.
Yeah, and he will. He's a miner.
He's the craziest thing. He's a miner.

Speaker 1 Even

Speaker 1 blacked out. He'll find it.
Yeah. And then once he finds it, that piece they'll save, they'll edit it.
They'll put it aside. And then he'll go, okay, now I got a chunk.

Speaker 1 I like also when it doesn't go well, he's like, give me that tape. That's fucked.
Give me that tape. I can't do that again.

Speaker 1 He still feels it. He's a miner.
That's why Jeff Ross likes him. Well, you fucked up.

Speaker 1 Got that.

Speaker 1 Cheap J-Mo.

Speaker 1 J-Mo.

Speaker 1 And we're back. We love Jeff Ross.

Speaker 1 Funny guy. You've got to be able to make the, you know, we used to do that a lot? Damon Wayans.
He used to go up. You remember those days? So funny.
He would do 15 of intentionally bad. Yeah, really.

Speaker 1 So you would like. No expectations.
You've lost trust in me, and now I'm going to try my jokes. Yeah.
He calls it a jazz set. Yeah.
He would fuck around.

Speaker 1 Damon has recorded like every show he's ever done since the 90s. Damn, that's so good.

Speaker 1 To this day, he sets up. I saw him in the improv a few years back before COVID, and he set up a camera in the back room.
I go, you do this every set. He goes, every set.

Speaker 1 And I watch him on my computer. He records all of them.
He has them all archived, and he riffs. That's how he comes up with shit.
He just gets up on there and starts talking about something.

Speaker 1 Anything that's in the news, he starts riffing on it, and then he'll find something. Yeah.
And that's how he writes. I feel that's too self-indulgent.
I feel too guilty. It depends what level it is.

Speaker 1 He's famous. You can't do it in the garden, but you could do it at New York Comedy Club.

Speaker 1 But for that, you've got to be willing to bomb. Yeah,

Speaker 1 which is the hardest. But that's his creative process.
You know, and Chris Rock used to do the same thing. He used to go on and just ramble about stuff.
And you tell the audience, relax, relax.

Speaker 1 This ain't going to be funny. Lower your expectations.
Yeah, to do it on purpose. But eventually it would be an HBO special or a Netflix special.
It would kill. But it's a process.

Speaker 1 Well, I got to say, I've been watching Louie over the past couple months. He's back doing shit, and he was struggling, to put it lightly.

Speaker 1 And then I saw him two nights ago, and all that same shit is killing. Yeah.
Because he's willing to do it. It's crazy.
Same material just.

Speaker 1 I saw Martin at the store come back after five years off. Martin.
And then he was like,

Speaker 1 six months later, same material. Crushing.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Same material. Not just like, I'm abandoning this.

Speaker 1 They said that about prior, the week he did live at the Sunsets Trip, that he was doing the same material at the store and bombing. And then bombing on Monday.
Tuesday was better.

Speaker 1 Wednesday was better. Thursday was killing.
Friday was was killing. Saturday, he's filming.
I thought he bombed.

Speaker 1 Wasn't the story he bombed the first.

Speaker 1 Yeah. The Long Beach when he bombed.
He bombed the second show. He murdered.
Yeah. Best set ever.
Dude, Adrian, one of her sets, decided to do a sabotage. As much as I hate Tony, you love Adrian.

Speaker 1 I do love Adrian.

Speaker 1 Louis said we should do a sabotage set. We should just not announce her.
Just like, let's see what the crowd is.

Speaker 1 They hated her so much.

Speaker 1 She was upstairs getting changed. I was outside.
There was these British, like, Indian people. They go, she deserves to get canceled

Speaker 1 and it was just start to finish suck she went through it like a warrior she didn't give a she does not she was like crazy i don't know she talked about it on the podcast real that's it yeah she talked about the next night it was amazing but she was she was like so worried i would have been outside talking to the british indian ladies like i'm so sorry

Speaker 1 she's up there just going i don't give a fuck i know yeah they were i heard them talking i was like adrian hang up hang out upstairs for a second

Speaker 1 you know what they're gonna they're gonna attack you you know what it's like? It's like a fighter who can take punches. Because a good fighter can take a lot of punches and still win.

Speaker 1 A bad fighter is like, I'm getting punched. I'm out of here.
Right, right, right, right.

Speaker 1 Real similar.

Speaker 1 It was a fun fucking time for comedy. It is a great time for comedy.
Bad time for bodybuilding. I was quote you.
Sorry, couldn't have been. Because he said comedy is dangerous.
It is.

Speaker 1 Tony proves that. All of it proves it.
Tony proves it. It's dangerous.

Speaker 1 What are you mad at? I was just trying to entertain everybody. This disingenuous thing of like, oh, they're trying to make people mad.
No one's trying to make anyone mad.

Speaker 1 We're trying to entertain, but it gets people mad. Yeah, we don't want to offend anybody.
We want to get laughs. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's just people love to distort things in this weird time where everything's politicized. I know.
Even comedy is politicized. It should be like, oh, is he a comedian? Okay.

Speaker 1 But in the room,

Speaker 1 it's great. I mean, I remember doing a show with Shane shortly after a hubbub.
Yeah, yeah. A hullabaloo.
Yeah, that was really fun.

Speaker 1 Dude, I have like seven or eight. That was like the night concept.
Yeah, that that was great. You got to come up.
My agent said I can't. Shane,

Speaker 1 come up. I never said my agent said I can't.
Somebody told you you weren't allowed. Becky.
I don't know. Where are you hearing this from?

Speaker 1 There's no way I would have ever said I'm not allowed. You said they told me I should.
I'm like, just get him up here. I drove to the club.
Yeah, you drew.

Speaker 1 What are you talking about, RAM? But we came up.

Speaker 1 And we had fun. We talked about it.
And then we had an Asian guy rank the Asians. And we were saying like,

Speaker 1 the blogger of the room, which there was one,

Speaker 1 would have said someone in the audience, an Asian guy, but they would have said someone in the audience ranked the Asian people.

Speaker 1 They didn't say he was Asian?

Speaker 1 They didn't because we said it. We cut their legs out.
But it's just like, it's a bit dangerous and it makes it more fun. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, the funny thing was during the campaign when Obama was on, it was so surreal to watch. Obama was doing one of those campaign speeches and he said, there was a guy.

Speaker 1 At the Trump rally who said, Puerto Ricans on an island filled with garbage. Time out.
Decent impression. Those are human beings.

Speaker 1 Those are human beings.

Speaker 1 Like, what? What?

Speaker 1 A speaker? He's joking. It was a speaker? It wasn't a comedian.
Wasn't a guy telling jokes? I mean, John Liguizamo went off. He did a whole face-to-camera floor.
So there was a guy who was

Speaker 1 trying to get a lot of attention. There was a visual artist who did a thing about

Speaker 1 every day.

Speaker 1 He always gets my respect. John Wick was great.
But he was in John Wick rules. He gets a pass.
He gets a pass.

Speaker 1 These people that are in certain communities, they feel like they need to stand up and say something. They got to say something.

Speaker 1 They don't. They feel pressure.
Everyone's scared, man. There's a bunch of fucking cowards out there.
There's so many people that are scared, and their takes on things are so gross.

Speaker 1 But it's just quick. It's not

Speaker 1 fearful. It's just fearful.

Speaker 1 Just weird. Yeah, that's weird.
That group thing really kicks up, and you're like, I got to say something. I got to be a part.
It's like, no, you don't.

Speaker 1 Bill Maher putting the SmackDown on Neil deGrasse Tyson the other day. What he said.

Speaker 1 Oh, my goodness. Take that, nerd.
It was wonderful. Because it was making fun of Neil Neil deGrasse Tyson's perspective on women competing with biological males in sports.

Speaker 1 Like all this woke shit you're doing. You're not a scientist.
Like this is not science that you're doing here.

Speaker 1 This is ridiculous. Well, people have been going at it.
Dave Smith and Sam Harris are going at it. Are they really?

Speaker 1 Online right now today? Well, Sam Harris did a podcast. Shitting on Dave.
Dave did a rebuttal. Then Sam did a rebuttal.
I mean, it's like

Speaker 1 crazy. Yeah.
So many people got captured during that time of chaos and anxiety. So many people got so captured.

Speaker 1 That's my joke. We lost a lot of people during COVID, and most of them are still alive.
That's so funny. I quote that so many times.

Speaker 1 I quote that so many times. It's one of those lines that are like funny, but like the point is real.
There's a lot of people I really can't talk to anymore. I just can't.

Speaker 1 People don't realize we're just a blip. It's all going to go away.
We're all going to go. It's all blue marble and we're so burning calories on this bullshit.
Cowards.

Speaker 1 Cowards are exposed.

Speaker 1 And people that act in cowardice and they're not compassionate they're not you're not looking at things in a balanced objective perspective you know joey dia says one of one of my one of my many hubbubs someone who's like what are you shouldn't have said this thing not even the one you're thinking of and then he goes yeah but he's our friend in a story yeah in a story that's our friend yeah

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like the, it's also, it's comedy. Comedy is messy, man.

Speaker 1 And anybody who doesn't think it's messy sucks at it. That's a fact.
If you think that all jokes hit, you're doing whack jokes. There's no chance.

Speaker 1 If you're not offending anybody, like, well, you're not trying.

Speaker 1 You got to get to the line. Yeah.
You offend 2% of people, perfect. 98% are on his side.
You're just right on the line. Perfect.
And also, this is your lot in life.

Speaker 1 Like, you're the guy yelling at Elvis, hey, this is inappropriate. You're shaking your hips.
This is the person you want to be at the end of the day. It's like, we're all just joking around.

Speaker 1 Everyone's laughing. Some people are not laughing, and you're mad.
It's so much just ego. It's so much ego.
It's so much people don't like other people getting attention.

Speaker 1 It's so much like people want other people to support whatever narrative they support. Such a fucking, but it's a time of exposure.
And cool people rise. Yeah.
That's the thing.

Speaker 1 It's a great time for us. So it's like

Speaker 1 a challenging time. All challenging times are great times.
As long as World War III doesn't pop off and it doesn't become like the end.

Speaker 1 It's like we're basically at the Cuban Missile Crisis, but like accelerated. With Twitter.
With Twitter. And with Elon Musk.
You guys are going to bong one or or be Coach? And Blue Sky.

Speaker 1 What are you talking about, bitch? Are you going to be Blue Sky or fucking Lucy out? I'm right. Is that what it is? No, it's Blue Sky.
I'm so fucking dumb. I love older.

Speaker 1 Blue Sky. If you go on there and you say there's only two genders, they ban you immediately.
What? Mark, Mark, Mark. Come on.
I've been having a hug.

Speaker 1 I don't want to puke at the mothership because

Speaker 1 I don't think we're going to the mothership. No, we're not.
We are. I thought we were doing sets.
We are. Are we? You haven't been on stage since 88.
I know. Mark and I.
What are you playing there?

Speaker 1 Mark. Wait, are we going to the mothership or not? We are.

Speaker 1 100% we are. We could do whatever we want.
We're Americans. I think

Speaker 1 I'll do it for you if you don't want to do it. You should do it.
No, no, get Mark.

Speaker 1 I ate a big meal before I came here. I didn't.
Just got one of my favorite.

Speaker 1 I had a string cheese and a bag of almonds.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 damn, that was quick.

Speaker 1 I ate two pounds of elk.

Speaker 1 Two pounds.

Speaker 1 I did. I had two 16-ounce elk steaks.
Really?

Speaker 1 No veggie? I don't need veggies anymore. Shit, easy to do.

Speaker 1 If I want a salad, I'll eat it. You know, I'm not opposed to salads.
If I feel like eating a salad, I eat it, but I don't think I need it for nutrition. I think it's nonsense.
Good fiber for shitting.

Speaker 1 I don't think you need it.

Speaker 1 I should have it. I love when people go, I don't trust Joe Rogan or anything.
I'm like, literally, he's my number one doctor source and has been for 20 years. I'm 100 years old and I'm strong as fuck.

Speaker 1 Trust me. I know what I'm doing.
Cross me, daddy. Let's go.

Speaker 1 Let's go. Remember.

Speaker 1 Does this other man need him? Simple man don't need him around and a half. Doesn't need him.

Speaker 1 I have a special.

Speaker 1 I have a special affection to this song after Neil Young went after me.

Speaker 1 Dude, that was Toeballer when you're like, glad to see you have morals, Neil.

Speaker 1 Yeah, when he went back on Spotify. Oh, because the money's there? Oh, because the money's there, you'll do it.

Speaker 1 Also, I told him, and it's true, I was a giant Neil Young fan, and I literally, the last day I worked at Great Woods Performing Arts Center, I was at a Neil Young concert, and a riot broke out, and I fucking threw a hoodie on over my security outfit.

Speaker 1 I'm like, I'm out of here. I never got my last paycheck.
Oh,

Speaker 1 a fight broke out at a Neil Young concert. You're like, fuck this.
Oh, it was crazy. My friend Larry punched some dude in the chest.
And Larry is like, my friend Larry was like, Larry Jones.

Speaker 1 Shout out to Larry Jones. One of the nicest guys ever.
And this guy was fucking with him, and he just dropped this guy. And I was like, oh, my God, we're fighting.
I'm out of here. And they left.

Speaker 1 And there was bonfires going on on the lawn. It was chaos.
They shut the show down. Whoa.

Speaker 1 This is Neil Young show.

Speaker 1 Yeah, 1989. This is 1989.

Speaker 1 Where white people decide to go nuts, they go nuts. Well, you know what it was? It was cold.
It was cold at night. And it was the lawn.
There was a whole lawn area.

Speaker 1 And the lawn area was like, there was like an amphitheater. And then that was covered.
And then above the outside, the covered area was a lawn area.

Speaker 1 And the lawn area, a bunch of dudes started lighting like cardboard boxes on fire

Speaker 1 it got crazy they were they had bonfires going on and they were got they got real rowdy yeah and then people were like starting shit with the security guys and then when my friend Larry dropped this guy like fights broke out I'm like see ya

Speaker 1 I'm like I'm leaving as long as my friends weren't actively in fights I'm like let's get out of here and everybody got out of there I was like I quit I'm out of here I just was ready to quit already there was too many times where it was like almost fights some guy tried to run over me with his car wait wait wait what?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 What happened? I was telling the guy that he had to stop because we were like moving traffic around. The guy like got right up to my leg with his car and revved the engine.

Speaker 1 And then I got up to his door and I go, hey, man, fuck you. And he tried to open up his door and I knead the shit out of his door and put a giant dent in his door so he couldn't open it.

Speaker 1 And we were like ready to fight. I was like, dude, I'll fucking kill you.
And he was like ready to get out of the car. And I like knead his car door.

Speaker 1 And then a bunch of other security guys came up and he pulled. I'm like, what am I doing? I get like $25 an hour or something like that.
I'm gonna get in fights.

Speaker 1 The first day on the job, they beat the fuck out of a guy who stole a golf cart. What?

Speaker 1 It was a dude named Alley Cat, he was the head guy who grand security.

Speaker 1 He was like this grizzled old security dude who'd probably been doing it forever. And they found this kid who was drunk, who stole one of our golf carts, a security cart, and he was driving around.

Speaker 1 They tackled him and they were beating him with a walkie-talkie.

Speaker 1 Like, beating him bloody. His face was bleeding.
And this was like my first day on the job. I was like, oh my God, like, we're doing this.
What? I was like, this is crazy.

Speaker 1 But didn't you, you were a jiu-jitsu guy. Well, I was Taekwondo guy back in the day.
Taekwondo was kidnapped. I was a kickboxer.
No, I never got in fights. I never, I was the first guy to like, bye.

Speaker 1 I was like, I'm not interested in anything. You didn't want to apply your knowledge.

Speaker 1 I applied it in the ring. It doesn't go on his record if he fights a rando.
Well, it wasn't even that. It was just like I knew how dangerous it was.

Speaker 1 It's like once you've actually knocked people unconscious and it's scary. The whole thing's scary, like fighting people in a giant group.
Like, fuck this.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I didn't want to have nothing to do with that. But, like, back then, the security team was all black belts.

Speaker 1 This guy, one of the guys that we worked out with, he got a job there, and then he came to us and said, Hey, you guys want a job? It's like 25 bucks an hour. You get to see concerts.

Speaker 1 I was like, fuck yeah. I don't remember what the, I'm making $25

Speaker 1 up. I don't know what it was.
And so, there was like 16 of us.

Speaker 1 All these like assassins that like worked at this security place, but it was too crazy. You get to see how drunk people.

Speaker 1 And then it was also, when I understand, cops in a very minor way, because it became us against them. It was us, the security guard, again, the security guards, against the people who were the drunks.

Speaker 1 And that was like a mentality. There was like this.
It was remembered. But it was also like a thought, like, we are the good guys.
They're the cunts.

Speaker 1 And it's okay to beat the fuck out of them with walkie-talkies.

Speaker 1 And this is no internet, man. We're talking about 1989.
This guy beat the fuck out of this guy with a walkie-talkie in the face. Just

Speaker 1 blood was splattering. He was getting fucked up.
They rolled him over and tied him up. It was crazy.
It was crazy. And the tackle, I remember this guy getting tackled off of the fucking golf cart.

Speaker 1 The whole thing was nuts. I was like, oh, Jesus, this is like not worth whatever I'm getting paid.

Speaker 1 And fighting is like, you know, I've been beat up a few times in my day, but one time I jump kicked a guy in the stomach and he lost his, he was like,

Speaker 1 and I felt horrible. I was like, ah, geez, I don't want to be this guy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, even in fights, you feel horrible.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like pummeled, but it's like in the street, it's so or in the world, it's so dangerous outside of a competition because no one's going to stop that guy from stomping your fucking head when you're unconscious.

Speaker 1 There's no rules, there's no rules, no one's going to stop some guy from biting your nose off. You don't know who you're fighting with, it's a crazy person, gouging your eyes out.

Speaker 1 It's fucking dangerous. Like, anybody who just wantonly engages in random violence with strangers.
You're just asking to get maimed. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Especially if you fuck up and run into some guy who actually knows how to fight. And I'm sure you've all seen those videos online.
They're horrific. Horrific.

Speaker 1 Some guy who doesn't know what he's doing and he just gets destroyed for the rest of his life. His life is going to be fucked.

Speaker 1 His legs, he's going to be limping forever because some guy decided to snap his fucking femur in half. Oof.
Yeah. It was like scary shit, man.
I went to LSU. There was this place called Tigerland.

Speaker 1 It was where all the bars were and these guys would fight these big white guys in polo shirts and they would Be on the cement like kicking each other in the face. It was brutal

Speaker 1 Look like gym boys boat shoes on Jesus Christ

Speaker 1 on a guy go to a gym boys This is so dang Kevin James was working as a bouncer at a bar and the guy he was working with killed somebody and went to jail.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 He knocked the guy out. He got in a fight with some drunk guy knocked him out.
The guy fell down, hit his head, died. Oof.
Gotta go to the

Speaker 1 all the time don't fight back when you kill a guy and they fall they get hit with the earth bang yeah that's your fucking head your whole body all your fucking lang all that torque bang on your head on some sag it yeah true

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 blacked blacked out and hit his head that's right yeah i mean fucking it's a horrible way to go man hitting your head that one what is that girl's name which she was

Speaker 1 to be

Speaker 1 was joking around about the vaccine then blacked out on stage and bangs her head it was so fun it was so great because that was an unintentional solid joke it was the universe

Speaker 1 telling each other i don't give a fuck and then

Speaker 1 pass it out was like that is a good joke unintended

Speaker 1 right now it was the universe the universe was telling us everything was up what she was saying was up it was almost like god was like you're getting away with this yeah we're gonna we're gonna make a video bang yeah that was the pandemic time it was like the will smith slap that whole thing Bob Sagan, those are wacky couple years.

Speaker 1 Will Smith's slap was wild. It was all so crazy.
Like, everybody lost their fucking minds. But we got Chris Rock back.
Yeah. We got Chris Rock back from that.
Yeah. Right?

Speaker 1 Chris Rock became Chris Rock again. He went hard again.
He was doing like Oscar-friendly stuff. You know, he was trying to like be in with these.

Speaker 1 He wanted to be Kevin Hart, wanted to be a movie star, wanted to do all those things.

Speaker 1 Chris Rock between two Oscars-ish or whatever, Goldsen Globes was like hard when he took some abuse for it. And then like, all right, let me just go light.

Speaker 1 and now back to real chris rock yeah you don't want that dude mad at you and then a whole year to stew and write a play about you

Speaker 1 a live special too

Speaker 1 that was a big one oh yeah well uh chappelle too he got that whole thing on i think everybody should do a live one once you should all do a live one it's fun it's weird how'd you feel about it fun ready i i just prepared like way more than i ever would have i mean they're a club comic so i was like ideally suited for it

Speaker 1 what do you mean club comics are used to dealing with all sorts of

Speaker 1 stuff. Theater comics,

Speaker 1 it's all set up well.

Speaker 1 Right, right, right, right, right. For chaos, but there was very little chaos.
There was only one guy yelled something out, but it was fun. It was, uh, I was ready.
I just made sure I was ready.

Speaker 1 So, and also, it's nice because you don't have to edit.

Speaker 1 Oh, less work. Editing is awesome.
Yeah, editing can suck my dick. You gotta watch yourself.

Speaker 1 I watched myself from Friday night, too. That helped because I hated it.

Speaker 1 Even though I killed, I had a filmed Friday night night first, so I got to see that and I watched it. I was like, ooh,

Speaker 1 it's awful. I've seen it too many times.
It's like

Speaker 1 you lose everything, what's funny, what's not.

Speaker 1 But Friday night killed. So I was like, look, we already got it in the can.
When Saturday night rolls around, I'm fine. Get loose.
Yeah, I was loose as fuck. I smoked a joint, had a drink.

Speaker 1 Damn, let's go.

Speaker 1 I felt normal. I felt like a normal show.

Speaker 1 That is what comedy is: where it's like, hey, hi, guys.

Speaker 1 It was fun. And the audience was awesome, so it was easy.
It was fun. San Antonio is a great comedy town.
Oh, they were so happy. It's a fun place.

Speaker 1 Texas is just a fun period. Texas is a wild place.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Texas rules.

Speaker 1 I always used to think that about Houston. I always used to love going to Dallas.
The Arlington Tampa. Florida, Colorado.
Denver. Denver's awesome.
It's just like

Speaker 1 smartest. Phoenix.
Phoenix. That's always fun.

Speaker 1 Gun people are partying. Philly's fun.

Speaker 1 There's some good ones. Yeah, there's places where people like to party.
They're fun. They're fun people.
Yeah. Comedy is better than it's ever been before, man.

Speaker 1 And we start to think about how many guys are killing it out there right now.

Speaker 1 I mean, there's more top-level comics than ever.

Speaker 1 More guys doing arenas than ever. Bargazzi, Segura, Bert, you guys, Shane.
I mean,

Speaker 1 I see Shane at the fucking where the fucking 76ers play. Yeah.
We went, me, you and O'Connor went into the back, and maybe Jay, I think, went into the back.

Speaker 1 Geroso didn't care about sports, but like, like, you could smell the hockey jerseys. They're like, yeah, we haven't watched this yet.

Speaker 1 And it's like,

Speaker 1 but even the theater, even

Speaker 1 the club comics are like more than ever. Yeah.
The Jeff Osmases are above. Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 Well, the internet is a ton. You have the internet now you can see.
You can find someone to follow that.

Speaker 1 Like I was talking to Tyler Fisher about this the other day. Someone offered him a deal to do some kind of a special and something.
And I was like, listen, man, just put it on YouTube.

Speaker 1 You want to get people to see you. Whatever money they're paying you, you would pay 10 times more of that for the exposure to be on YouTube.
It's 100 times more valuable. Just put it on the YouTube.

Speaker 1 YouTube can get a little queefy with the special starting,

Speaker 1 but people will share it. They'll share.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 they got Fahim. They got Joe List.
Yeah, Joe List said hunt. They got Fahim.
What do they do with Fahim?

Speaker 1 Once they decide wrong, they go stop sharing it. And then the growth just stops.
Because computers are watching. It's like AI shit.

Speaker 1 I think it's also people flagging it. I think it's people flagging it.
No, not Fahim. Who's flagging Fahim?

Speaker 1 Assholes. That was Joe List.
Assholes, dude, assholes. People don't like Louis C.K.
They know Louis C.K.'s friends with Joe List. Dude, trust me, assholes flag it.

Speaker 1 You say cunt, they're going to flag it. You say, whatever you say.
So it used to be: you say a word, whatever, and they go, hey, that's a flag.

Speaker 1 And they go, hey, no, that's stand-up, so it's okay. Come on, you guys are alone.
Go suck each other's dicks in your fucking bathroom.

Speaker 1 I'm listening.

Speaker 1 Put it down, baby.

Speaker 1 Before I go.

Speaker 1 Plugs. Oh, yeah.
Plug your dates. Mark Plugger Days always shoot.
Yeah, do it, boys. Check out Page the Stage on punchup.com.
Mark Noman Comedy. Mark Noman slash PunchUp or PunchUp slash Mark Noman.

Speaker 1 Page the stage. No, but what? Ari's on there, too.
Larry David's on there. Joe Liz, Sam Murrill, all the guy.
Michelle Wolf, all on Punch Up. I said your name.
Thank you. And yeah, check out Ari's.

Speaker 1 You got a new special coming out. You got Adrian's special.
You got January 14th. Will be my new special America sweetheart on Netflix.

Speaker 1 Also, they are picking up Jew, the first YouTube to Netflix special of all time. I didn't know that.
Will be in May-ish.

Speaker 1 Hell yeah. Not an official date yet.
Also, Pittsburgh with Adrian,

Speaker 1 Atlanta, Tahoe, Vancouver, Calgary, Edmonton, Portland, a bunch of San Antonio, San Jose, a bunch of other stuff. ArchFear.com for tickets.
All new hour. And then I'm done till 2017.

Speaker 1 Get some bodiga cat. I am in New Orleans for Thanksgiving.
Tickets are horrific. Please come to the Orpheum.
And

Speaker 1 we might be drunk. You'll be tripping.
You'll be tripping to my new travel

Speaker 1 Norman's the only guest that's been on there twice. Yeah, it's an honor and a pleasure.

Speaker 1 I gotta go back and we might be drunk for the special. Oh yeah, come back.
You just did the Adrian show. I did the Adrian one, but I always do one of my own.
Every comment is her again.

Speaker 1 Oh, because

Speaker 1 she's here. She's on Legion of Skanks.
She's on that. That was a good one, though.
That was fun. That was fun.
We did Skanks, me and Adrian. At some point, we just sat back and watched Jay be funny.

Speaker 1 Jay is so funny. We were just like, let's just enjoy this.
He can really talk. God damn.
He can run. He's a natural.
He's a natural ladies or gentleman.

Speaker 1 And you want to join in, but you're like, actually, take the stage. Yeah, yeah, I'll ruin it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like finding a way. You got to know when to step in and when to lay back.
It's pretty cool. We know some of the funniest people out there.
And Lewis will give you a joint.

Speaker 1 Like, we talk about the hang.

Speaker 1 It's the most important thing

Speaker 1 in life is the hang in the green room. Hell yeah.
It's the most fun.

Speaker 1 It's what everyone wonders what's the green room like? And you're like, yeah, exactly what you think. It's a barrel of laps.

Speaker 1 It's kind of like... Kill you, bro.
It's kind of like a podcast every night. And we're all friends.
But darker. It's a podcast every night.
Yeah, but way far. You can go far.

Speaker 1 Way further.

Speaker 1 Go far. There's no dose up.
You just dose me. Because you can keep up.
I still want. And you dosed me.
I dosing. I speak.

Speaker 1 He did. He dosed me.
You son of a bitch.

Speaker 1 Heep diddy.

Speaker 1 I put like 10% of mine into yours.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I had 90%, you had 110%.

Speaker 1 Should we get some food at some point? Or is that crazy? Maybe a little din-din?

Speaker 1 I don't know. Every time we go out after this, I'm always, I don't know, I don't love it.

Speaker 1 What should we do?

Speaker 1 We go out to dinner after this? I feel like a fucking alien. What do you mean, alien? No, because we're walking.
We lived out. We're going to an alien restaurant.
Hold on, hold on.

Speaker 1 I've got a suggestion. That's a good point.

Speaker 1 Every time we go out to eat, I go, what the fuck? Let's stop by the supermarket, get some steaks, go to Shane's house and grill them. That's a lot of work.
That actually would be awesome.

Speaker 1 Yeah, let's live like regular people. Let's go to a fucking restaurant dressed up like the Jaguar people.

Speaker 1 Overall, I guess. Actually,

Speaker 1 we got front row at a Brooklyn audience. We're supposed to have program stuff for this.
What happened to our costumes? I want to get a yellow nylon zoot suit. Yes.

Speaker 1 Are we doing Mar-a-Lago? Yeah, we have to. We have to.
We have to. We help Trump get elected.
Yo, I got a special January 14th. Are we doing

Speaker 1 it together? When do you finish shooting? Oh, well,

Speaker 1 maybe we do that at Mar-a-Lago. Oh,

Speaker 1 no, we have to wait until he gets in. We have to wait until he gets in.
Trump's obviously going to walk on, dude. There's a camera, bro.
100%. He's going to walk on if we're going to do it and

Speaker 1 play the day after or right then. We talked about it on the podcast, and Don Jr.
reached out to me and said, I can make that happen.

Speaker 1 I posted a support of Tony Hinchcliffe, and Don Jr. was like, I love it.
Whoa.

Speaker 1 We can make it happen. Don Jr.
Isn't it interesting that

Speaker 1 John Jones

Speaker 1 defends the heavyweight title and John Jones defends the heavyweight title and then does the Trump dance and then gives his belt to Trump? Like the world's changed. Like everything's flipped.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Completely. It's completely flipped.
And what's lost is John Jones is the greatest fighter of all time. He's a gladiator.
Yeah, he's the best. I mean, the NFL guys are doing it.

Speaker 1 It's hard to say he's not the best. And I know he didn't beat Tom Aspinall, and he hasn't fought Tom Aspinall yet.
Tom's great.

Speaker 1 There's always one guy, but it's like he's beaten that guy over and over and over again.

Speaker 1 Dropping somebody fucking fucking. He's never fought a guy like Tom.
Tom's different. Tom's going to be a problem.

Speaker 1 He's a giant dude. He's fighting everybody.
He's a legitimate heavyweight. He might fight whoever he wants to fight.
John Jones could do whatever the fuck he wants to do right now. If I

Speaker 1 imagined what's actually happening, though, I'd imagine he's saying he's not going to fight Tom Aspinall, although he's probably training for Tom Aspinall.

Speaker 1 He wants to ramp up the amount of money that he can get.

Speaker 1 Which is a smart thing to do because it might be the last time he fights.

Speaker 1 Also, underrated, what nobody says about John Jones is he has, of all the UFC fighters I've ever met, the highest weed tolerance of anybody, and no one's talking about it. And cruise and coke.

Speaker 1 He does four times the weed Joe does, five times the weed I do. Really? Handles like a champion on airplanes.
I bet Nate Diaz. Allegedly.
Nate Diaz can get after him. Allegedly.
Bring it.

Speaker 1 Nate versus John Weed. I bet John's still more coherent.
Dana, bring it. Nate Nate versus John Weed.
We all want to see it. Yeah, do that.

Speaker 1 I'll take your nade on that. Did you guys ever see

Speaker 1 what was that jiu-jitsu competition? What was it called? Where they would

Speaker 1 high rollers. So they would get super baked, and then they would have jiu-jitsu competitions.
So they'd smoke together. By the way, that's Eddie's class.
That's Eddie's class every day. Yeah, it is.

Speaker 1 It is a little bit. That's Matt.
My friend Matt put it together. And so he set this thing up.
I think it was California where it was legal. So they all get super duper high, and then they would fight.

Speaker 1 It was crazy,

Speaker 1 I love that. We used to sue matches, it was awesome.
They should do that Coke version, yeah. That was good.
Did you guys see that study that they funded?

Speaker 1 I posted it on my Instagram where they gave uh her, was it gerbils or hamsters? They gave hamsters uh cocaine and steroids, had them fight and like studied it. The fuck was it? Was it hamsters?

Speaker 1 Oh my Instagram, our government, our government, fifth grader,

Speaker 1 our government's what's going on. That sounds like science fair.
That's like science fair. A bunch of nerds with an unlimited budget.

Speaker 1 Supposedly, Northeastern University of Boston for decades. I think they spent $3 million on this, by the way.
Supposedly serious scientists.

Speaker 1 Look at my quote here.

Speaker 1 The government spent $3 million funding a study where they injected hamsters with steroids and cocaine and had them fight a completely ridiculous and unethical study, but I would like to see the data.

Speaker 1 I want to see the data. This is why the terrorists hate us.
Bro, they hopped them up on cocaine and roids and they had them go to war.

Speaker 1 because they were probably trying to figure out what's the best way to make a soldier. Oh, right.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 1 I would do that. Like, you know, I've had conversations with like

Speaker 1 yeah, exactly. Well, also, I've had conversations with like special forces guys, and you're like, you don't want to ask, is everybody doing steroids? But one of them said,

Speaker 1 whatever that soldier needs to do to make him the best soldier, I am all in on it.

Speaker 1 You know what fucked me up? One of the guys in the SEALs, I was asking him about that, and I was like, you guys should all do steroids. What the fuck? Who gives a fuck?

Speaker 1 And he was like, Yeah, but then you're out and you get stuck out there. And you run out.
And you run out, and now you have a guy fucking falling apart. And I was like,

Speaker 1 I didn't think about that. That's a very good point.
Because you character steroids. I was like, Yeah, you guys should everywhere you go.
They should all fucking all

Speaker 1 just keep steroids with you. Just have like a fucking box that can't be like a bulletproof box with testosterone in it and a fucking bag of needles that's attached to your hips.
Let's go. Let's go.

Speaker 1 Because they'll, yeah, I was like, make them the most roided-out freak of all time.

Speaker 1 Bro, when you see these people that are talking about like non-binary folks in the fucking military, and then you see China and they're doing bear crawls up hills.

Speaker 1 Have you seen that video of the Chinese military doing bear crawls up a giant hill? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You ever do that workout? You ever do a bear crawl? I've got a bear crawl. It sucks.
Bro, that's not fun. It looks way easier than it is.
It's so hard. It's not hard.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's not easy to do at all, but it looks easy. Like, I can walk on my hands and knees easy.
Shut the fuck up. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then you do like five steps and you're like, oh my God, my shoulders are shaking. Is that feet and hands? You're walking.
Yeah, but your weight's all on your. You're going like this.

Speaker 1 Your weight's all on your feet and your hands. It's really hard.
You know, it really blows. Duck walks.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 That's like a real O-line fucking. Where'd you piss? Well, you know, when we do our comedy workouts, I always make sure that everybody does those

Speaker 1 deep squats. Except Brian Simpson.
He's like, he does them.

Speaker 1 Brian Simpson does them. Simpson does well.
The only thing he bitches out on is the song. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's my joy. I've never seen anyone.

Speaker 1 We get that song. Bam.

Speaker 1 No, that song blows. I get that song up from 196.
I know. I watched all you guys come and go while I'm sitting in there.
Let's fucking go.

Speaker 1 Come on, man. Can I? I was at a Makuska show.
We met some SEALs. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 they go, hey, I was in. I was in.
What did they say? What did they say?

Speaker 1 Beach balls. Mark Norwin, you're such an important part of the show.

Speaker 1 I was in Yemen, and I was undercover, whatever, embedded. And then I went to have to do it.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's hot. This is it.
This is it right here. Oh, they're going up and down.
That's the thing. I think this is like a meme in China.
I don't know about the military doing it. Oh, no.

Speaker 1 I saw some military guys doing it. No, I Googled it.
I'm not seeing it. 40 years.
They're fucking killing it anyway. It's pretty cool looking.
It's hard to do, man.

Speaker 1 Whoever those guys are, we can't find enough Americans to do that. Hey, Kool-Aid.
Show the elephant walk that Americans are doing. Do we have enough American.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the elephant walking to McDonald's following Donald Trump's lead. Look, that's just 80 people that do it.
They're a bunch of nerds. Bro, that is so hard to do.
Damn. The average age is 50.
Whoa.

Speaker 1 Bro, they're going to win. That's just somebody 68 years old.

Speaker 1 You know what's crazy, though? Like, that's in Australia.

Speaker 1 Well, you don't raise them.

Speaker 1 Our ads are doing these fucking silly, fucking inclusive things about the military. Their ads are trying to make Chinese men more masculine.
Like, everything is more.

Speaker 1 That's a fucking uphill climb. I think we're going to flip, though.
I think that those days are over. I think they're over, too.

Speaker 1 I think people realize how fucking dangerous it is to project this fucking insanity to the whole world. We never played that Trump fucking thing on the internet.
That's all right.

Speaker 1 It's not that great.

Speaker 1 I got me riled up. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like that, Jamie. I think I just have to do it.
I posted it. I posted it on my Instagram.
You did. Okay, cool.

Speaker 1 Go to my Instagram, Jamie, and you'll find it because it's also with the words. So the transcript is on the screen.
If you don't want it, we don't don't have to translate it. No, we're going to do it.

Speaker 1 We want it. We want it.
No, you're right. You want it.
You want it. It's super important.
We have all the time in the world, man. We're Americans.
We're Americans, and Trump's the president.

Speaker 1 Start from the beginning and give me a little volume.

Speaker 1 Sorry.

Speaker 1 I can't believe it. I know.
I understand. Okay, go ahead.
Go ahead. It's okay.
Damn, Brolin's handsome.

Speaker 3 Free speech, then we just don't have a free country. It's as simple as that.
If this most fundamental right is allowed to perish, then the rest of our rights and liberties will topple.

Speaker 3 Just like dominoes, one by one, they'll go down.

Speaker 1 Domino's pizza, great pizza.

Speaker 1 Jamie, comment

Speaker 1 right now, live. No, no, no, hold on.

Speaker 3 That's a very important word in this case, because they've taken it away.

Speaker 3 In recent weeks, bombshell reports have confirmed that a sinister group of deep state bureaucrats, Silicon Valley tyrants, left-wing activists, and depraved corporate news media have been conspiring to manipulate and silence the American people.

Speaker 3 They have collaborated to suppress vital information on everything from elections to public health. The censorship cartel must be dismantled and destroyed, and it must happen immediately.

Speaker 3 And here is my plan.

Speaker 3 First, within hours of my inauguration, I will sign an executive order banning any federal department or agency from colluding with any organization, business, or person to censor, limit, categorize, or impede the lawful speech of American citizens.

Speaker 3 I will then ban federal money from being used to label domestic speech as mis or disinformation.

Speaker 3 And I will begin the process of identifying and firing every federal bureaucrat who has engaged in domestic censorship, directly or indirectly, whether they are the Department of Homeland Security,

Speaker 3 the Department of Health, Human Services, the FBI, the DOJ, no matter who they are.

Speaker 3 Second, I will order the Department of Justice to investigate all parties involved in the new online censorship regime, which is absolutely destructive and terrible, and to aggressively prosecute any and all crimes identified.

Speaker 3 These include possible violations of federal civil rights law, campaign finance laws, federal election law, securities law, and antitrust laws, the Hatch Act, and a host of other potential criminal, civil, regulatory, and constitutional offenses.

Speaker 3 To assist in these efforts, I am urging House Republicans to immediately send preservation letters, and we have to do this right now, to the Biden administration, the Biden campaign, and every Silicon Valley tech giant, ordering them not to destroy evidence of censorship.

Speaker 3 Third, upon my inauguration as president, I will ask Congress to send a bill

Speaker 3 revising Section 230 to get big online platforms

Speaker 3 out of censorship business.

Speaker 1 What time does an Asian government do?

Speaker 1 Two-thirds of his party.

Speaker 1 Dumb as shit.

Speaker 3 If they meet high standards of neutrality, transparency, fairness, and non-discrimination, we should require these platforms to increase their efforts to take

Speaker 3 content such as

Speaker 3 exploitation and promoting terrorism while dramatically curtailing their power to arbitrarily restrict lawful speech. Fourth, we need to up the

Speaker 1 Jamie.

Speaker 1 You got it? We got it.

Speaker 1 I don't care if you don't like this guy. You can't be against this.
That's a progressive idea. It's progressive.

Speaker 1 That is. You have to be able to go, I'm against 95% of them.
This part is okay.

Speaker 1 If you're not with that, you're not with free speech, so you're not with free discourse. You want to be right.
None of it makes any sense.

Speaker 1 There's no logical explanation that you could possibly provide that would say that censoring speech by a bunch of people that have been known to be liars and criminals, like letting those people censor speech is crazy.

Speaker 1 You're letting people influence people with billions of dollars. You're letting people that are engaged in really bizarre,

Speaker 1 like

Speaker 1 the insider trading. The insider trading is fucking bananas.
We will let those people, these are the people that you're letting dictate what can and cannot be said online. And you're

Speaker 1 trying to pretend that they don't have some sort of a financial interest one way or the other. You've got to let people talk.
Anyone in the arts

Speaker 1 should be in favor of that. Everyone.
Do whatever you want to do. Whatever you want to do.
Express whatever you want to express.

Speaker 1 If you you want to make rap music, whatever you want to make, you need that. That's everything for us, for all of us.
That's a great thing about rappers. They don't really...

Speaker 1 attack each other for being inappropriate. They're terrified that if they go after rappers, they'll lose the entire segment of the population that likes rap music.
Oh, interesting.

Speaker 1 Because everybody's sort of accepted that they like, if you listen to like old school coogee rap or something like that, gangster music, you're accepting the fact this is entertainment just like a fucking Al Capone movie.

Speaker 1 And it's fun to listen to. And if you start going after those people and you demand that kind of censorship, you're going to lose not just the people in the black community.

Speaker 1 You're going to lose the people in the white community that like rap, the Asian community, Chinese, Japanese, like name it. Everybody likes rap.
Everybody likes rap. Leave us the fuck alone.

Speaker 1 Asian rappers.

Speaker 1 Leave us the fuck alone. And if you don't leave us the fuck alone, then you're going to lose all the votes.
So I don't think they can go after rap music. I think they have to leave rap music alone.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And it should be the

Speaker 1 same. Say what you want to say.
Yeah. Especially in the arts.
And that's okay. That's just your stance.
It's It's okay. You should be allowed to have all kinds of shit.

Speaker 1 Do you remember when Sister Soldier had that rant? Oh, yeah. And Bill Clinton had this rebuttal to it on TV that probably won him the election.
Oh, yeah. What was it? Because she went after Whitey.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she was talking about like...

Speaker 1 Here, we'll play it. We'll play it because I don't want to paraphrase it because we played it really recently.

Speaker 1 It shows you how good Clinton was when he was in his prime. Oh, yeah.
Well, the Dems lost. When he wasn't raping, he was fucking on fire.

Speaker 1 I think it's like like him and Obama are the goats. He's like the John Jones and the fucking George St.
Pierre of politics.

Speaker 5 Let's stand up for what's always been best about the Rainbow Coalition, which is people coming together across racial lines.

Speaker 1 The Rainbow Coalition was Jesse James.

Speaker 5 I was James from Louisiana that you had here last night. A great role model.

Speaker 5 We don't have a lot of time to do this.

Speaker 5 We don't have a lot of time.

Speaker 1 Great hairline. God damn.

Speaker 5 You had a rap singer here last night

Speaker 5 named Sister Soldier.

Speaker 5 I defend her right to express herself through music,

Speaker 5 but her comments before and after Los Angeles were filled with a kind of hatred that you do not honor today and tonight.

Speaker 1 Just listen to this.

Speaker 1 What she said. Wet-ass pussy.

Speaker 5 She told the Washington Post about a month ago, and I quote, If black people kill black people every day, why not have a week and kill white people?

Speaker 5 So you're a gang member and you'd normally kill somebody, why not kill a white person?

Speaker 5 Last year she said, you can't call me or any black person anywhere in the world a racist. We don't have the power to do to white people what white people have done to us.

Speaker 5 And even if we did, we don't have that low-down, dirty nature. If there are any good white people, I haven't met them.

Speaker 1 Where are they? Right here in this room.

Speaker 1 That's where they are. Right here in this room.
Shut up, you rattle.

Speaker 5 I know she is a young person, but she has a big influence influence on a lot of people.

Speaker 5 And when people say that, if you took the words white and black and you reversed them, you might think David Duke was giving that speech.

Speaker 1 Ooh, it's a good point.

Speaker 5 Let me tell you, we all make mistakes, and sometimes we're not as sensitive as we ought to be.

Speaker 5 And we have an obligation, all of us, to call attention to prejudice wherever we see it. A few months ago, I made a mistake.

Speaker 1 Fucking

Speaker 1 shit said no.

Speaker 5 I was a country club that didn't have any African-American members. I was criticized for doing it.
You know what? I was rightly criticized for doing it. I made a mistake.

Speaker 1 Good for him. And I said I wouldn't ever do that again.

Speaker 5 And I think all of us have got to be sensitive to that.

Speaker 1 We can't get anyone

Speaker 5 in this country pointing the finger at one another across racial lines.

Speaker 1 If we do that, we're dead.

Speaker 1 Hey, big deal.

Speaker 5 Even in Reverend Jackson's new math of this election,

Speaker 5 it's hard to get to a 34% solution or a 40% solution if the American people can be divided by race.

Speaker 1 Look at Jesse. Amazing.
He was so good, man. To admit you're wrong, no one ever does it anymore.
It's so smooth. The way he did it was so smooth.
Jamie, weak bladder. Holla.
Oh, shit. Let's go, Jamie.

Speaker 1 Bong. Holla.

Speaker 1 One bong yet was enough for young Jamie. Let's get some steaks and go to Shane's house and grill them.
I'm actually totally all right with that. What about your roommate?

Speaker 1 Le Maire? Yeah. Le Maire's cool.
He'll grill for for us. LeMaire will be the bow tie and do it.

Speaker 1 He's going to fuck it up. I'm going to have to be the griller.
Yes. Yeah, you'll grill it.
I don't know what you're doing.

Speaker 1 Let's go do that. Let's do that.
I'm in.

Speaker 1 I turned the hot tub off. Turn the hot tub off.

Speaker 1 Dude. Okay.
Anything else? Should we cover anything else before we wrap this bitch up? Should we wait for J-Mo? We have to wait for J-Mo. We have to wait for J-Mo.
Otherwise, it won't shut off.

Speaker 1 We got Ellen leaving.

Speaker 1 Someone say something ridiculous. I'm like, oh, no.

Speaker 1 We talked Paulo Dick. We talked the Jake Paul fight.
That was so bad. That was a real waste of time.
That seemed like a sparring match. The Jesse Smollett fight was better.

Speaker 1 I would like to see a video of that. He got off, by the way.
I know.

Speaker 1 I knew he was innocent the whole time.

Speaker 1 How did they get him off? What was the find out how Jesse Smollett got off? How about this? What would you want the

Speaker 1 four years from now? What would you want one thing to be done? Over four years? Yeah. Release the JFK files.

Speaker 1 That's one. That's one.
Stop the war. Stop the wars first.
Stop the wars. Stop creating Gaza.
Stop the first. Stop the wars first.
Mark.

Speaker 1 Well, I like the censorship thing.

Speaker 1 That's silly. Why do I only have to have one? I don't know.
You're sure. You're right.
You're right.

Speaker 1 Wars is number one.

Speaker 1 Wars is always going to be number one. I'd like to end the Cuba embargo.
It doesn't matter. Jesse Smollett.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. Instead, the conviction was overturned because the Illinois Supreme Court ruled 5-0 that a special prosecutor should not have been allowed to intervene after the Cook

Speaker 1 County State's attorneys initially dropped the charges against Mollette in exchange for forfeiting his $10,000 bond and conducting community service. So

Speaker 1 that should have been punishment enough. And so they decided to make it public, make a big deal out of it.

Speaker 1 That's reasonable. Because otherwise, was he going to jail? Did he have to go to jail?

Speaker 1 Ms. Pat was the best before anyone said it was fake.
Before anyone. Oh, yeah, she called it.
She goes,

Speaker 1 day one.

Speaker 1 She goes, motherfucker.

Speaker 1 Who's going to use name-bearing bleach to attack somebody?

Speaker 1 She goes,

Speaker 1 that's funny. Here it is.
Who spent a maximum of 15 years in prison? Oh, my God. That's funny.
He grew up.

Speaker 1 And made everyone think there's racism when there's none. He's an actor.
It's like a baby that bit an electric cord. Yeah.
Bridges said the best. Bridget Fantasy said the best.

Speaker 1 You can't let the actors write the fucking script. Well, actors write everything now.
Well, that's like the Johnny Depp trial, too.

Speaker 1 It's like there's certain times where the actors get involved in their own script writing and get pretty nutty.

Speaker 1 Johnny Depp during that interview was so funny because when they're like, what's this box for? Is it Coke? And he goes, Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, I mean, what the fuck do you think's in there? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Isn't it crazy she put on makeup and said he beat her? Like, she just completely lied. Well, some people do that.
I know.

Speaker 1 And then the people are like, wow, maybe I'm going to do it. He was originally sentenced to 150 days in jail, 30 months of probation, and ordered to pay a fine of $130,000.

Speaker 1 He only spent about one week in prison before being released. Because he did

Speaker 1 appeal. God damn, they put him in jail for a week, though.
Oh, they did. The whole thing's stupid as fuck, but it's just an attention grab.
No one's a victim of it other than everybody's sensibility.

Speaker 1 Like, there's no real victim of it. Like, if he victimized someone, I would see, I think, the public humiliation of people finding out that it's like it's enough.

Speaker 1 We don't have to cage people for something stupid.

Speaker 1 It's a stupid thing, and it's also a stupid thing from an actor that's involved in this bizarre industry that props people up for no reason and then shoots them down.

Speaker 1 It's a fucking chaotic, bizarre way to live your life. You're probably insane if you're involved in it.
But it's a good sign for our country. Like, hey, this thing actually didn't happen.

Speaker 1 He had to make this up. This shit doesn't happen in the streets.
But it's just like an actor writing, this is a MAGA country. Bitch, you're in Chicago.

Speaker 1 What the fuck are you talking about?

Speaker 1 They wanted it so bad to be this thing. Here's my favorite part.
That's cool. My favorite part was when he walked in with the noose still around his neck.

Speaker 1 You have to leave the noose. You don't take the noose off because no one's going to believe you.
Right.

Speaker 1 Jesus Christ. It is like when I wear a fucking festival armband six months later.

Speaker 1 Oh my God.

Speaker 1 You're amazing. You just see a new Robert Rodriguez movie.
You're amazing. You still got your October 7th fan? I guess we're talking about this.

Speaker 1 That was a festival. Bro, if Trump can just stop both of those fucking things from popping off,

Speaker 1 it's worth everything else he tweets about.

Speaker 1 That's the whole point. Get in there,

Speaker 1 stop this shit. Just cool everyone up.
Just chill out. Let's have a good time.
We got a good time. I think his feistiness kind of makes him his own worst enemy in a certain way.

Speaker 1 Like, in why people hate him when he tweets, like, I hate Taylor Swift.

Speaker 1 It's like his feistiness, his fucking... But that's also what kept him in this thing.

Speaker 1 So if I think about it psychologically, like I think about certain competitors in sports or in fighting, there's people that are just like complete fucking maniacs, like Michael Jordan, and that's why they're the best.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're complete maniacs, and the complete maniacs are oftentimes like not so good at controlling their initial thought. Yeah, Michael Jordan would bribe

Speaker 1 like baggage handlers to get his bag out first because you bet with Scotty Pippen whose bag would come out first.

Speaker 1 I think Trump's amazing.

Speaker 1 I was amazed. I think Trump's ego is like actually maybe a good thing because

Speaker 1 he'll do

Speaker 1 to me what everybody says he is. So we're sitting here being like, he's going to be the one to end the wars.
And I think he'll be like, yeah. I have to now.
I am the one that's going to end the wars.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. And I think he, I mean, that's how I kind of look at it.

Speaker 1 I think his ego is actually.

Speaker 1 I mean, it is a good thing because I think he will. Yeah, he's got to be like, guys, you both done shit wrong.
Can we stop this? He did not drain the swamp. He did not drain the swamp.

Speaker 1 Or Kentucky. But that's a good question that I had for him.
Like, what was it like making like 10,000 appointments? And he's like, we made a lot of mistakes. He's like, I've never governed before.

Speaker 1 Like, it's essentially, and every time he's talked about this, he said, like, you enter into this new thing.

Speaker 1 The Gates man was.

Speaker 1 Matt Gates is, get the fuck out of here. He's gone.
Well,

Speaker 1 he had a back down. It seems like.
I know, but it's like, bro, if I see...

Speaker 1 First of all, if you're a dude with insane plastic surgery on your face. He's got the Botox.
He can't

Speaker 1 eyebrows.

Speaker 1 I heard him. I said, obviously, don't kill kill Matt Gates.
No, but he looks like that. You know what I mean? I know what you're saying.

Speaker 1 I heard he was like, Matt Gates, you got to resign so I can appoint you to this thing. And then he resigned.
He's like, fuck off.

Speaker 1 Is that what he did? Did you just make that up? No, somebody told me. I didn't just make it up.

Speaker 1 He told Matt Gates, you got to resign so I can appoint you. And Matt Gates is like, why do I have to resign? He goes, trust me, trust me.
You resign. I appoint you to this thing.

Speaker 1 And he goes, okay, I resign. He goes, not appointing you.
No, I think it was Matt Gates. Where'd you hear this? Yesterday.

Speaker 1 Where? Somewhere at the Colony Mothership. At the tunnels.
At the temple. Somebody told me that.
I don't even know who that guy is.

Speaker 1 You are spreading misinformation. This is why they want to censor internet.
No,

Speaker 1 I think it was.

Speaker 1 So is he not a congressman anymore? RFK Jr., that's what a guy's supposed to look like when his age. That's what a healthy guy.
Healthy guy, ripped, strong, 70 years old. Yay.
That's it.

Speaker 1 No fucking Botox. Yeah.
No botulism shot in your fucking face.

Speaker 1 What is that stuff? Is it botulism? Him and Cheryl. Does he know what it is? Still fuck.
You You can tell. Who and who? Him and Cheryl.
Wow, he definitely has fucked RFK. Still high.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can tell there. She's talking about the rest of the world.

Speaker 1 Do you think we have some respect?

Speaker 1 Have some respect.

Speaker 1 I'm about to slap her ass. It smells like a car that can't start.

Speaker 1 That's an old Danny. It's going to be interesting to see what happens if that guy gets into a position of influence and power.

Speaker 1 If he takes my fruit loops, I'm going to fucking storm the capital for you.

Speaker 1 I know a lot of people are skeptical about RFK, but we are obese. We are addicted to opioids.
We are fucking. That's true.

Speaker 1 But I have to tell you, I was looking at the images, the difference between the Canadian fruit loops and the American Fruit Loops online.

Speaker 1 And I'm willing to take the risk of the red dye.

Speaker 1 What do you mean? They look so much cool. Look how much cooler they look.
I'll tell you what. Show me the difference, Channel.
I ate a bowl today.

Speaker 1 If you just eat a little bit every now and then, how bad is that reflection? Give me some cold. I wish them a few years ago.
This is the bottom. I'm fine.

Speaker 1 I've eaten a thousand bowls of fruit loops. I'm doing great.

Speaker 1 Let's take a look at what the fruit loops look like in Canada versus, like, look at that. I want the one on the left.
Oh, those are gross.

Speaker 1 I don't want to eat it every day, but I want the one on the left. There's a push a few years ago to take them out, and they did, but no one bought it, so they put it back in.

Speaker 1 The one on the right looks like that generic stuff that you buy when you're poor. The bad.
You know, when it's like

Speaker 1 fruit cereal.

Speaker 1 Fruity moody. Poor fucking crazy.
Fruity loochie cereal. That's like generic cereal.
It looks like it's got AIDS. That's why Canadians are sad.
They have bad fruit loops.

Speaker 1 Just don't eat it every day, you fucking idiots. Don't eat it all the time.
Don't feed it to your kids.

Speaker 1 Don't constantly.

Speaker 1 That's not nutrition. That's nonsense you should eat occasionally.
Occasional nonsense is good for you. It's crazy.
They tried to nail him on the fruit loops, and he's exactly right.

Speaker 1 In the New York Times, we like fruit loops. In the New York Times, fact-check that.
That's one of you fucking dumbasses eating fruit loops.

Speaker 1 And get, you know what I mean? They should do bad things. But obviously he's right.
Don't eat fucking fruit loops. Right.

Speaker 1 We have a health director that's like, yeah, crush fruit loops. But we've been pushing balanced breakfast for 30 years with the cereal.
Yeah, it's crazy. It's part of this balanced breakfast.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 LOL. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Fruit loops. That's a hard award.
Fucking eggs. What are you doing back here? Autism's up, depression's up, all that shit's up.
This is just too much money.

Speaker 1 There's too much money that's being funneled to people. That's really all it is.
The pharmaceutical drug companies make so much money. They have so much power.
But I thought we cared about people.

Speaker 1 But you're supposed to. They're supposed to, too.
It's not supposed to be you shouldn't make any money. it's like you shouldn't make as much money as you possibly can while lying

Speaker 1 at the at the risk of everyone but look everybody still but everybody's a liberal thought it is everybody still needs pharmaceutical drugs like they've come up with some amazing drugs that have kept people alive but you can't let them just make as much money as they possibly can while lying that's the problem it's like you have to know like how much of this stuff is safe and how much this stuff is untested and what what are the tests and are you being honest or are you just like making these tests work for you?

Speaker 1 Are you bullshitting? So if you're bullshitting, then you're trying to make more money than you should.

Speaker 1 You should still be able to make a fuckload of money because there's a ton of pharmaceutical drugs that are awesome that people need. But you can't make as much money as possible while lying.
And

Speaker 1 that's the thing. It's not like it's an anti-pharmaceutical drug.
It's an anti-human perspective to not look at it this way.

Speaker 1 It's to say you're going to allow these people that are only motivated by money to just wreck havoc on people's health for profit. And either you're cool with that or you're not cool with that.

Speaker 1 And if you're cool with that and you call yourself a progressive, that's kind of crazy.

Speaker 1 It's kind of crazy that you want an unregulated corporation that has a literal obligation to their shareholders to make the most profit possible.

Speaker 1 And then you get these fucking corporate assassins to run these things, and then you have insane amounts of money that you're spending on the media.

Speaker 1 There's no way anybody gets a fair shake at what the fuck is actually going on. Addvil's okay.
Purdue's not.

Speaker 1 There's even, you know, a lot of those things things are not good for you, man, that people take on a regular basis, and you don't know it because it's being hidden from you. Yeah, follow your nose.

Speaker 1 You know, I read this story about this lady who had COVID and she was really hurting. So she took too much Tylenol.
She died from liver failure. Whoa.

Speaker 1 Because if you take too much Tylenol, it'll fucking kill you. Really?

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 You think that's a good one? It's going to be the last headache you ever had.

Speaker 1 If you just go ham and think the more Tylenol, the better, you just start chewing on them, you will have a fucking real problem. Oh, I took like five today.
Yes,

Speaker 1 everyone did.

Speaker 1 Really? Everyone should know that. You should fucking know that.
It's not that you shouldn't be able to get Tylenol. Of course you should have Tylenol.
Everybody likes Tylenol.

Speaker 1 You get a headache, take Tylenol, you feel better. But it's like

Speaker 1 everyone should fucking know like what is really dangerous for you.

Speaker 1 Remember in the 90s? What studies have you done and how honest are you being? And are you just trying to make more money? Yeah. In the 90s, they took all the Tylenol off the shelf.
Remember that?

Speaker 1 Was this kid? I was in the 90s typed in liver and COVID and just seeing it was coming. Oh, no, this was about Tylenol.
She She died of Tylenol failure. I thought these on Tylenol.

Speaker 1 They might be hiding. It says that COVID's hard on your liver, so

Speaker 1 COVID's hard on your liver. Yeah, but the thing is, people have died from Tylenol without COVID.
COVID does.

Speaker 1 Tylenol, acetaminophen, Google how many deaths of acetaminophen every year? Because that's an interesting statistic. That's interesting.
Google that every year. Yeah, good for you.

Speaker 1 That's going to be a tough spell. Deaths.

Speaker 1 Got it. That's an autofill.
That's an autofill for sure.

Speaker 1 Look at that. 458.
That's not that much.

Speaker 1 458 deaths every year due to acute liver failure. Well, that's 458 people that didn't have to die.
Yeah. Yeah, Gaza.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, but still.

Speaker 1 Like, if you die from

Speaker 1 breath,

Speaker 1 that's fucking crazy. And look at all the hospital visits.
Look at all the people that had to be hospitalized. Go back to that, please.

Speaker 1 Look at this. 2,600 hospitalizations, 56,000 emergency room visits.
So it's not just the 458 people that died, it's 56,000 people that probably got on death's door.

Speaker 1 Hopefully, it was the point where they had to go to the fucking emergency room.

Speaker 1 2,600

Speaker 1 control centers. Yeah, it's real.
A lot of people like going to the emergency room, too. That's true.
That's true. That is true.
I got to stop that. I mean,

Speaker 1 look up how many weed emergency rooms there are where people go, I ate all the popcorn. Oh, my God.
I had a friend of mine, and I think it was like

Speaker 1 his sister's husband husband was a complete hypochondriac, like a full-on, like he would go to, he'd go to the hospital

Speaker 1 emergency room like all the time, all the time. And she was going crazy.
Like she didn't know what to do about it. He was like completely nuts.

Speaker 1 Like he would just get checked into the hospital and there was nothing wrong with him. And then he would just decide that there was something wrong with him.

Speaker 1 He had to go right now and he'd go and there was nothing wrong with him. And it was like a regular thing.
Jesus Christ. Yeah.
But that's a stat. That's in the stat.

Speaker 1 He was like her husband and they had children together. And you got this guy who's so so-

Speaker 1 who

Speaker 1 can't stop going to the doctor. Like, he was like really kooky.
It became like a real phobia, like a real mental

Speaker 1 pathology.

Speaker 1 Going to the doctor sucks. Bro, this guy was constantly thinking something was going wrong.
So he was just like in this constant state of anxiety about his health. Yikes.

Speaker 1 It's a real thing that's happening. Don't be high with popcorn weed.
Like edibles, and then ate the rest of the bag and then went to sleep and woke up and was like, what the something's wrong with me?

Speaker 1 Went to the hospital and the doctor tested him. He goes, Smoke weed? And Don's like, No, fuck.

Speaker 1 Fuck. And he realized that's what was wrong with him.
He died. He went too hard.
He thought he was having a panic attack. He went too hard.
Oh, I never go to the hospital. I got to be shitting blood.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I've got to literally be dying. I told this story a bunch of times about Ari.
Me and Ari were playing pool once, and Ari was limping. I go, Why are you limping? And he goes, Oh, a spider bit me.

Speaker 1 I go, Let me see it. He pulls up his knee.
I go, oh my God, dude, you have a staph infection. I go, we got to go to the hospital right now.

Speaker 1 He was like, we got to go right now. my cue.
I unscrewed my cute right now. I go, we got to go to the hospital right now.
You got to get to an emergency room. Whoa.

Speaker 1 He hit

Speaker 1 a raging staph infection on his knee.

Speaker 1 My dad went to the hospital for his heart attack. He was like, I'm tired.
I'm going upstairs.

Speaker 1 He was laying in bed. He started Googling.
He was like, hey, Siri, what are the heart attacks? Well, what? Symptoms.

Speaker 1 The things about jiu-jitsu gyms is they don't fucking tell you the dangers of staph infection. They should have pictures of what staph looks like.
100%. What is a staph infection?

Speaker 1 A staph infection is if you don't wash yourself, and Ari's a dirty bitch. We all know it.

Speaker 1 If you don't wash yourself, then you're

Speaker 1 getting scratched.

Speaker 1 You're scraping your knee on the ground.

Speaker 1 Nails,

Speaker 1 dude's fingernails scratch you.

Speaker 1 And so you get it. If you don't wash yourself, like I'm diligent.
If I do jiu-jitsu, I use defense soap.

Speaker 1 I would wash my hands and go do spots. I wash my whole body.
I lather up my whole body. I let it sit on me for like a couple of minutes, and then I rinse it off.
Jamie, you pervert.

Speaker 1 and if i have scratches if i have any kind of scratches i have wipes and i wipe the scratches really yeah i've got staff twice they should do a better job of that in jets

Speaker 1 kate fletcher told me i had staff the first time that's one of the reasons why i was happy i could tell you because i was sitting me and him were at the airport we were chilling i was wearing shorts and i had my my my foot up on my knee like that and he goes what's going on your calf and i go what is that he goes what is that and i go i don't know it's like a couple of red dots i was like it's nothing he goes dude that might be staph infection like seriously That's how guys are?

Speaker 1 It looks like that? That's how guys are? Yeah. So I immediately went to the doctor.
He's like, that's staph. Whoa.
They tested it. They gave me antibiotics.
And I was like, whoa.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was like, I said I'll go to the doctor tomorrow. And Joe's like, dude, I'm telling you, I understand.

Speaker 1 You've got to go now. It's about to become systemic.
Yes. You got to catch it quick.
One of Brian Callen's friends' wives died from staph because she tried to treat it.

Speaker 1 She tried to be like holistic and take vitamins and shit. Like, you got to go to the fucking doctor.
See, this is the thing we're talking about.

Speaker 1 That's my favorite anti-vaxxers is where the crystal people and the super rednecks come together this is why we need balance right because with pharmaceutical drugs like antibiotics are fucking super important they're super important and it saved your life for sure your knee was fucked dude i was if i was it was like a limping microscope it's a problem it was like you ever look at if you looked at a zit under a microscope that's what it was like i was like this is huge why are you limping

Speaker 1 yeah he was limping from a zit it wasn't that bad you didn't know

Speaker 1 guys just assume like i think i'm okay this should go away it was Hollywood. Guys felt good at doctors.
He was hobbling around the table. I was like, what is going on, man? Whoa.

Speaker 1 If I didn't look at your knee, dude, and you just left that go, you would be a dead man. Yeah, you're like, Joe, like, pull your pants.
You're so close. Pull your pants up.
Being such a good podcast.

Speaker 1 We were just one.

Speaker 1 I'll never forget that thing. My heart stopped.
My heart stopped when I saw it. Hello, doggy.
Damn.

Speaker 1 The moment I saw that giant zit on you, literally,

Speaker 1 my breath stopped. I'm like, oh my God, we got to get to your hospital right now.
That was the same pool session. Some guy, Joe goes to the bathroom.
This is before any of the podcast, even.

Speaker 1 And he goes to the bathroom, some guy clocks him. And he comes back and he goes to Joe.

Speaker 1 He goes, What do you think of that big fight? And Joe's like, oh, which one? He goes, I don't know.

Speaker 1 He was just, I got to pee again. Let's wrap this ball.
Let's wrap it up. We did.
Gentlemen, we saved the world. Jamie saved the world.
What's our name football? One more time. Let's score.
Comedy $14.

Speaker 1 Comedy.

Speaker 1 MarkNorman.com. Yes.

Speaker 1 Make sure you watch Tyre season two coming out filmed right now. When is it coming out? Spring or summer.
Okay. Let's go.
Let's fucking go. Arch Fear.

Speaker 1 New special coming out January 14th, the week, six days before inauguration. Let's fucking go.
Oh, I'm at the Ryman in Nashville. Beautiful.

Speaker 1 Ari, let's get you on the books like right before the special. Okay.
It's coming in. Maybe a Mar-a-Lago.
We'll see. Mar-a-Lago.

Speaker 1 I think we should do that after he gets in. That's January 20th.
We do Protectar Parks. I'm going to get him on the books, and then we'll do a Protector Parks in Mar-a-Lago.
We needed this one.

Speaker 1 I missed you guys. America needed it.
Let's go. Let's all play golf.
Let's go. Let's go.

Speaker 1 Sex with kids. Let's go to Shane's.
Hey, you just fucked it all up.

Speaker 1 Cut that part. Dude, I love you guys so much.

Speaker 1 This is fun as shit.