#2396 - Andrew Schulz

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Bro, I gotta play something for you.

You've been getting into AI music at all?

Music, a little, a little, a little.

Listen to this.

Yeah.

They're taking 50 cents songs.

I knew you were gonna break that.

That I heard.

You've heard many men, right?

Yeah, it's a menu.

Have you heard What Up Gangsta?

No, no, let me know.

No, you haven't.

The many men one is fantastic.

The many men's amazing.

Yeah, hold up, hold up, hold up.

Before you...

Hold up, he's not on.

Oh, my bad, my bad.

Listen to

this.

You gotta hear this.

Wait till you hear this flow.

What up, blood?

What up, gangsta?

Here we go.

I stroll around like I got a crest on my chest.

Nah, that's a simmer and a vest sitting tight on my chest.

I tried not to steal much dice, love to play in court.

But I hunt a duck, nigga, down, treat it like sport.

Front of me, I'll cut you, but throw you a fucking.

You stacking paper, I can't get none with your throat.

I'm not the type to get popped for a D-Well.

I'm the type to stop your connect when the Coke price climbs high.

Gangsters want my cuts, yeah, they know me.

I grew up around niggas that weren't really homies.

Harder Jesus stash it.

The MacA blasted D's come through.

We dump diesel in the battery casket.

This blows home, the eyes are flash it.

Cross me, I have your mama picking out your casket.

Bastard, I'm on a next tier, Brighton baguette bezel.

Bench pedal to the metal steam hotter than a tea kettle.

Blood up,

what up, cut up,

what up, blood up, go.

What up, gangsta?

This is fantastic.

So good.

How much of this is like one prompt, or is there like a guy working with

Jamie's the answer to that?

Because Jamie's done a bunch of them.

Yeah.

Yeah, like how much of this is like actually editing and somebody who understands producing music, like constantly prompting.

No.

Prompt for five words.

Holy shit.

Say 1950 soul music.

It's so easy.

And then put it in the cigar.

Let's burn a a cigar.

Let's burn one down, man.

Oh, man.

50.

50 is the man.

Let's be toxic, rich dudes.

Yes, let's do it.

When are we starting?

Have we started?

Yeah, we're rolling.

We're rolling.

We're rolling.

Are these your personal ones?

No, these are from Foundation cigars.

These are, I don't know what they're called, but these are fucking legit.

My man.

What happened to yours?

I still have those.

Those are nice.

Oh, those are great.

Yeah, we got a nice little box right here.

I just opened this box the other day.

They're nice.

Foundation.

Where are these from?

Probably Nicaragua.

I think that's where he's got his thing.

Hey, hello.

I got you.

What's the rules on that?

About Nicaragua?

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

It's like a man taking you shopping.

You're 50 say out of that.

Like, what are you going to take me shopping for?

Yeah, yeah.

And then he looked at Meek Mills' post, and they were wearing the same shirt.

And Diddy and Meek were wearing the same shirt.

He's like, see, that's why I don't let him take me shopping.

50 is so funny.

But you realize how good his lyrics are when you hear him run through AI.

Yeah, he's like, you revisit the lyrics.

Like, the Many Men lyrics are fantastic.

Yeah, the Many Men song, it almost works better.

Right?

It's like a, what was that, like 50s?

Soul.

Soul, yeah.

Yeah.

If that dude was a real dude, he would be the biggest fucking artist on earth right now.

If that was his song, if it wasn't written by 50, if it was his song, and he put it out right now, everybody would be like, oh my God,

who the fuck is this guy?

You just picture him looking like just perfect like Cat Williams type suit on stage, you know, just going off, sweating,

wiping his head with a towel, full blast.

Yeah, just like Southern Deacon.

Fucking 9,000 RPMs.

BAM!

What up?

I just love the idea of like you working out to 50 Soul 50 Cent.

Oh, I do.

Yeah.

I do all the time.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Working in there with Wu-Tang.

With Wu-Tang.

Wu-Tang's my favorite workout music.

Yeah, Big Daddy Kane.

Yeah.

Yeah, you like all that.

Being Rakim.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, Cooji Rap.

Have you ever talked to,

do you ever listen to EPMD?

Oh, fuck yeah.

You ever talk to like Eric Sermon?

No, never have.

No, never have.

Yeah.

I love those guys.

I can't believe you and 50 have never connected.

Like, I know Eric.

I met him once.

I interviewed him for UFC a long time ago.

Where?

I don't remember.

It might have been Vegas.

It was a UFC event in Vegas, and he was there.

I don't know if he was releasing something or whatever it was.

I sat next to him.

That shit is harsh.

It's good, right?

That's a good one, but that's a strong one.

That's a Maduro.

Yeah, yeah.

I like them robust.

I bet.

Yeah.

I'm glad I lit my own.

Okay, wait, so wait, you met him.

You were at the UFC fight and you spoke to him.

This is a UFC event.

This is how long ago?

Oh, a long time ago, man.

I had hair.

So it gotta be pretty cute.

There it is right there.

Oh, so this is like when he's in the middle of his stuff with.

Oh,

I mean, I gotta say this is probably 2007 or something like that.

But he was always involved with something.

He was always beefing with somebody.

Yeah, that was the funniest thing because when we were in

the Street Fighter movie, so we were in Australia filming, like I saw the guys with him.

And I recognized a couple, it was a security, but they didn't look like

one guy looked like actual professional security.

And I was like, I was like, oh,

that guy looks like that's his real job being security.

Not what I'm used to seeing 50 with.

Right.

And he goes, yeah, man.

Can't get in the country with felonies, bro.

I had to bring the clean ones.

So the real people that he has around.

Wow.

You got to bring clean security.

Clean security.

Professionals.

There's different levels of professionals.

Yeah, well, there's people that know things.

Yeah.

Sometimes you go to like a city or state and you need to know those things.

You need to know things.

Some people need to know things.

Sometimes you got to check in with folks.

That's the thing.

Your guys are the best.

Your guys hit me up.

It's just, they're like, yeah, there's some crazy chick online.

She says she wants to kill you, so just don't go to New Mexico.

And I was like, all right, bet.

I won't do that.

They're like, she said she wanted to kill somebody else.

I won't even say their names.

I don't want to get him in the heap.

But like, yeah, as long as you don't go to New Mexico, you should be good.

I'm like, all right, no plans.

Allegedly.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's wild times.

Wild times.

Wild times where people celebrate people getting killed now.

Like, that never happened before.

Like, even when someone bad got killed before, you're like, oh, wow, that's kind of crazy.

I've been thinking a lot about this.

Yeah.

And I think that, like,

I don't think we all exist in the same reality anymore not on some multiverse right like just like how how we see the world yes yes and it's like especially with charlie's death because i was in australia when it happened so like i had time like i wasn't doing pods i wasn't doing stand-up i'm just like sitting around in a trailer all day this movie so i started watching like a bunch of his stuff

also i want to say he did something really cool like i didn't really know him but like you dm'd a couple times but he saw a headline about me once and he dm'd me and like i don't even have a relationship with this guy he goes this headline looks real little weird like Like, I know we don't really know each other, but like, is this what you meant?

And, like, there are people who I know I've considered colleagues that haven't even afforded that to me.

They just ran with a headline and like made a video, got clicks, views, or whatever, like that.

Right.

This guy I don't even know hits me up and goes, is this what you meant?

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Yeah.

Very cool.

I met him once at a gun range.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

I met him at Terran Tactical.

So I was down there training.

You know, do you know what Terrence is?

He's the one where you see like a lot of

celebs.

The one where you see celebs.

He trained Keanu Reeves for John Wick.

He's the man.

Like Terran Butler is like a multiple time world champion shooter of those, you know, the events that they have where it's timed or a shooter ready.

Dee it.

Yeah.

So I met him there.

Seemed like a real nice guy.

You know, I didn't know anything about him back then.

I didn't know much about his beliefs and views that were controversial until after he got killed.

And then people started sending me stuff and I was like, okay.

What's the context of this?

Yeah, he shouldn't have said it that way.

There were some ones that we've talked about before.

One specifically.

But look, the fucking guy, first of all, was 31 years old.

When I was 31, thank God there wasn't like Twitter,

especially when I was 21.

Oh my God, thank God.

Thank God.

Judging, like that, that's like that Nick Fuentes kid.

He's like 26.

Thank God.

It didn't exist when I was fucking 21.

I was a fucking moron.

I was a complete moron, like most people, especially if you grow up around morons.

But I think he said a few things that if I was his friend, I would say, don't say it like that.

I know what you're trying to say,

but don't ever say, when I go into a cockpit, I hope that the pilot, if he's black, is qualified.

I know what you're trying to say.

You shouldn't hire underqualified pilots.

But saying it like that.

He's probably not hanging out with black people, not knowing how offensive that's going to be for them.

How you got to go.

That's not what I meant.

That's not what I meant before you say it.

Yeah.

You got to run it through the filter.

Like, what am I trying to say?

Yeah.

We all don't want unqualified people to do dangerous fucking jobs, period.

It doesn't matter what race they are.

If all of a sudden white people became a minority and they had to start hiring dopey whites, we'd be upset.

He makes that argument a lot.

Like, he makes it with sports.

You know, he's like, all right, if the NFL is going to be 50% black, you know, like,

so, but again, like, the context is taken out.

Yes.

And I think that's what happened.

Like, the algorithm flattens all of us into a two-dimensional person.

And, like,

only the views that tap into you know, your biggest insecurities, your biggest fears, not the views, only like the lines we say or the videos, whatever that tap into those things.

Or what terrible things you want confirmed.

Exactly, exactly.

Things you want, confirm.

Like, that's what the algorithm does.

And, like, I realized it when I was doing like a promo tour for life, my last special, right?

I would go on a couple pods that, like,

and like maybe like 10, 15, 20 minutes into the conversation,

I would realize like, oh, wow, they have a very different view of me than me.

The New York Times one.

No, well, the New York Times one, I was like expecting it for sure.

But even when I went on Dax's podcast, Dax knew me, but his

co-host, I was like, oh, she has an idea of me that's like cultivated by the internet and headlines.

Exactly.

And it's just a flattened version.

Right.

It's like, there's really no humanity in it.

It's just these are the things that people are saying that I'm saying with no context.

And then you just create an archetype.

And like, I think in a lot of ways, that's the Charlie thing to the furthest extreme, right?

It's just like, if you're on the right, there's one version of Charlie.

If you're on the left, there's another version of Charlie.

And

when he died, this person that you saw as like a good, God-fearing man,

you're like heartbroken by it.

And then on the left, this person you saw that was like bigoted or hateful, you're like, okay, I'm not really heartbroken by it.

Some people are even crazy enough to be like, he deserved it, or this is what you get, right?

But they can only have that feeling if he's completely dehumanized, the version of him that they see all the time.

That happens to you.

It happens to me.

It happens to like anybody who's on the internet talking, you know, for a few hours a week.

And when I saw that shit, and especially I saw like that, this visceral reaction to Charlie, that's what

sows the insanity in the country because the people on the left are seeing the people on the right be heartbroken, but they're like, why are you heartbroken over this guy who's a bigot?

And the people on the right are seeing the people on the left celebrating.

They're like, why are you celebrating the death of this God-fearing family man?

And both sides just think each other is absolutely insane.

Yeah.

When in reality, he's neither of those cartoons.

Right.

Right?

Yeah.

So it was just the life thing when I was talking to those people, I was like, you know, 20 or 30 minutes in the conversation, be like, oh, wow.

Like, yeah, you're not kind of who I thought you were.

Right.

And I'm like, yeah, because you let people,

you let people tell you who I was in 30-second clips.

Yeah.

It's not like I have four hours of podcasting every single week that you can indulge in to figure it out.

What do they try to label you as?

Like,

what's the angle they take on you?

Is it your heterosexual?

Manosphere?

Oh, you're heterosexual.

And I hate it.

Heterosexual is a real problem in this day and age.

Yeah, no, no.

Yeah, I think that like Manosphere.

I think there's like

Brogenverse, like Manosphere.

And I think that this is kind of a new iteration post-election.

So I think what a lot of people are struggling with the fact is they're trying to like find a way that

the Democrats lost the election without taking any accountability for like what they were doing.

Right.

So it's like, oh, because he went on Rogan and Schultz and Theo's podcast.

That's the reason why he won.

It's like, no, they kind of ran a dead guy that was very unpopular, and then they ran a woman that can't really talk that well in front of the camera.

An open border for four years that freaked everybody out.

Sure, sure.

But in New York, people aren't really worried about the open border for them.

Oh, they were.

You don't think they were?

I talked to a lot of people in New York that were upset about the migrants that had been shipped there, that they were putting up in the Roosevelt Hotel.

Oh, yeah,

the migrant crisis, for sure, like New York, I think, like, affected people.

I'm not saying it didn't, but like, I don't think that they attach it to the border.

I think they're more just like, well, just don't send them here.

You know what I mean?

Like, you know, just keep them down there or whatever.

Like, you guys chose to live near the border.

Remember when they sent them to Martha's Vineyard?

Oh, yeah.

They sent him to Martha's Vineyard.

It's like,

get the fuck out of here.

They moved him out so quick.

Martha's Vineyard is all liberals, bro.

It's all super rich.

It's the Mercedes driving limo.

It's the NIMBY is, what is it called?

Not in my backyard.

Exactly.

Right.

That's like the, and there's a, you know, Ezra Klein.

Do you know Ezra?

And like, Ezra did a great piece, and it's so funny because, like, he's trying to be reasonable right now.

He's like trying to have a break.

No, and they're calling him a right wigger.

And I keep hitting him up, and I'm like, bro, you're doing the right thing when

there are groups that like hate you because you're actually trying to like win an an election you're trying to be reasonable he had this whole thing about like hey the reason why they can build a lot of buildings in texas and why we can't in los angeles is because there are restrictive laws and people are like this guy's an animal and i'm just

like all right buddy i don't know what to do so i understand that frustration Shit, I've felt it a million different times.

Like you try to be nuanced and reasonable.

There's really no place on the internet for it because why would the algorithm reward anything nuanced and reasonable?

That's not entertaining.

I want to see Nick Fuentes talk shit.

Do you know what I mean?

I don't want to see like a thoughtful take from some TV host.

You want Sam Hyde.

I'll get wild, Sam.

You know what I mean?

Now, does it mean that I agree with these things?

No.

No, but the algorithm doesn't know what you agree with or not.

They just know what you click on, share.

It's part of the fun of the internet in general is that it's not regulated.

So when wild people break through and everybody goes,

Bro, what was the first thing we did with Sora?

You got MLK giving a speech and a Down syndrome kid walks up and goes, peanut butter.

Right, right.

Well, how about those videos where they had like Trump playing in a band and like there was a, like, Clinton was on the saxophone?

Did you ever see those?

No.

Oh, my God.

But, like, incredible.

We're going to make Credence Clearato Revival together.

I mean, I still

when the Down syndrome kid comes up and it just says peanut butter.

It's all good.

It's guilt-free because he's not a real person.

Right.

He's made up.

Right, right, right, right.

Okay.

And you can laugh at him.

We can laugh because it's not a real person right but uh that brings to like what about ai down syndrome porn

the sounds would be crazy

i mean we gotta see it just for the sounds right just just did they just announce that was is open ai doing an erotica version peanut butter

no yeah they said they wouldn't censor it they're like it's not our job to be the moral police oh well then it's over then it's andrew schultz porn all day long yo so that's so that's the crazy thing

Can they do listen to

you handsome devil?

Hey, the mustache?

Isn't moral police of the world after erotica chat GPT post blows up?

So that's the thing.

Can you do it?

Can you make porn with us?

Or can you just make it with like random?

100% can with you.

What about you?

We can't make porn with you.

Me too.

I just want you to feel it.

You hit me with the Spider-Man meme.

We make porn with you.

Do it.

Get him.

Well, it's going to be a real problem with female celebrities.

And it already has been a problem.

They face swapped Natalie Portman onto porn stars' bodies.

Remember they were doing when we were kids with Photoshop?

The second Photoshop came out.

Yep, yep, yep.

It was like tons of porn.

Who's the lady that ran for president from Alaska?

Oh, Sarah Palin.

Yeah, Sarah Palin.

It was like every single porn video.

Yep.

So, yeah, why would they not do it?

They're doing it.

100%.

We won't be upset as long as we're...

We're throwing it down.

Like, we'll be upset if our wives are in it.

Right, that'll be an issue.

But if somebody makes a porn porn where I got like a huge cock and I'm just fucking shit up, but the problem is it's gonna be your wife getting teamed on.

It won't even be like fun.

Why are we putting these things out there in the world?

Why you keep giving them ideas?

The internet is a dangerous place and it always ends up with me getting fucked.

Yeah, the world's dark right now with this because there's no rules and people are just it's sort of like if you gave the world matches for the first time and they're like I could just start a fire.

Do you think they did that initially when they created fire?

They're like, we need some rules for this shit.

We just can't let everybody.

For sure should.

I mean, I thought about control.

Was that like the original drawing?

How weird is it that I don't even have to have a license to have one of the most powerful forces in the world at the palm of my hand?

And I could be six.

Okay.

Imagine after the Chicago fire, right?

Like 80% of the city is decimated.

I don't even know what year that is.

Probably 1800s or something like that.

Did they say, hmm.

Maybe we got to take matches away from these motherfuckers.

Or like fireplaces or something.

I bet they didn't let you build a house out of wood anymore

all these are made out of wood yeah but we need concrete or something like we need to know why they did that how'd they do it probably for structural rigidity and um

like from the cold it's better

if you have like

i wouldn't

i would imagine there's a bunch of reasons to make something out of brick it's more it's hard to get into well i imagine you make wall light on fire concrete is yeah i mean they're making by the way they probably should have did this a long time ago but they're making fireproof houses now in, like, Malibu and places like that, rich people.

Yeah, I do.

You would imagine, like, if you're living in a place that, like, once the fire hits, no one's stopping shit.

So, you know, they just busted somebody for that?

I know, I saw that.

Like, the person who started the fire.

Yeah.

It wasn't in Palisades.

It was, like, the one that connected to it or something like that.

Something like that.

But this dude was like really into fires.

Like, he had a bunch of chat GPT prompts about fires.

That's an interesting autism right there.

It's a weird one, man.

You could have had trains or dinosaurs, but you got fired.

He got fires, bro.

There was one guy where they arrested.

He had a fake fire truck, and he was at the Palisades fire.

He was a convicted arsonist.

How much Tylenol your mom take that you and

a fake fire truck?

He bought a fire truck.

Oh, so a real fire truck.

Yeah, he bought a fire truck.

Yeah.

painted the logo on it, whatever, and then drove it to the Palisades where the fires were.

Oh, and they started the fires, but nobody suspected it.

They don't know if he started fires.

They don't know.

But they do know that this arsonist was at the fires with a fire truck.

And they're like, you're not a fireman, dude.

In fact, you're the opposite of all the firemen.

That's the thing.

That's why it's kind of,

it's like a brilliant disguise.

Yeah.

Well, in the middle of the chaos, you know, Huberman filmed a bunch of guys lighting fires.

He said it was nuts.

He said there was like teams of people running around starting fires while the fires are going on.

He said he watched people do it.

People were screaming at him and honking their horn.

They arrested people that were doing it.

So once chaos break, it's like they did a study a while back where they parked a car on the campus of Stanford and they parked a car, I think it was in the Bronx.

The car in the Bronx got stripped immediately.

They had families coming in, taking the battery and like openly.

They had cameras on it.

The car in Stanford didn't get fucked with at all.

They left it alone until someone broke.

They said, let's just mix this up and break one of the windows.

So they smashed the window and then within a day, it was like stripped apart.

The guy that was going in, they caught him at a checkpoint, but I think they're alluding that he was probably going to go try to rob the houses with a bunch of tools that they say were used in burglars.

Interesting.

Well, he's probably trying to do that too.

I mean, he's a piece of shit.

But wasn't he already an arsonist before this?

Yes, yes.

Yeah, he's just an all-around piece of shit.

It's not like, hey, I'm an arsonist, but I'm not a fucking thief.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

I wouldn't steal jewelry.

Come on.

I saw people just running out of people's houses with TVs, like people were filming it from the street.

Yeah.

Just breaking in, kicking the door in, just running in, teams of people with masks on.

Yeah.

Yeah, robbing somebody's personal home feels different.

I mean, it's fucked up to just break into a Kmart or any of those things.

But you see how like

you could get caught up in like,

I don't know, I don't want to call it the excitement, but like, you know, you're a little fucking kid and something's going down.

You're like, all right, let's get after it.

Yeah.

But like breaking into somebody's home is a little.

Yeah.

It's evil.

Yeah, because there's like a person behind it.

Whereas like Kmart is like this corporation.

Also, they're always going to know you were in their home.

Like for the rest of their life.

They live with that.

Well, as long as they're back in that house, they're going to know that when the fires broke out, you kicked in their front door and ransacked their house.

And now they're sitting in it.

If the house didn't burn down, now they're sitting in the house.

The house probably burned down.

Which is, I guess, their logic is like, get in there now.

Otherwise, there's going to be a puddle of shit on the ground instead of a Rolex.

Let's go get it.

You know?

Yeah.

It's crazy how, like, the fires weren't even that long ago.

I know.

It wasn't that long ago, but they haven't even touched a house.

Adam Corolla just did a video about it.

What did he say?

First of all, he called it.

Corolla called it a long time ago because Corolla's been involved in construction his whole life.

So he knows how hard it is to get permits to build in the palace.

It's like no one is going to rebuild.

But they haven't even touched it.

Yeah, but I think they just said that they're going to start stripping back some of that legislation.

Exactly.

They're going to start putting low-income housing up there.

This is what happened with, I think it was in like, I think it was in Philadelphia, right?

I think it was, there was like a bridge that collapsed.

You remember this?

Was this in Philly, Pennsylvania?

And I think the governor was like, okay, we have to rebuild this because obviously there's going to be like huge traffic situations.

Like we just, we need this thing.

This is just how humans are going to kind of get around.

And so they stripped all legislation and they were able to put it up in a matter of weeks, if I'm not mistaken.

Jamie, you know what I'm talking about?

Yeah.

I know what you're talking about.

I remember that story.

I remember something.

How long would this take if we didn't strip all the legislation?

They were like, 16 to 18 months.

So you did it in three weeks compared to 16 to 18 months.

I think this is where people get like frustrated with all the

bureaucracy and the red tape.

Now, I also believe in some red tape.

Like, I live in New York City.

There's somebody renovating above us right now.

I got a kid.

You know what I mean?

So it's like, I would like a little red tape to make sure they're just not hammering 24 hours a day.

Right.

We live on top of each other.

You live in Texas.

There's probably, you don't even see your neighbor.

You could have a little less red tape.

Right.

But then we get to a point in New York where it's like, okay, is it impossible to renovate ever?

Maybe that's too much.

But there needs to be some in different situations.

100%.

I completely agree i got in a conversation about that a long time ago with dave rubin where we were talking about uh regulations for construction sites that you don't you don't need inspectors and i was like oh my god yeah that's the

bro they'll put they'll put the cancer in the kids cereal yeah they don't give a fuck like if you don't regulate the food they'll put anything in it well that's so you need to have somebody looking at it it's in it right now this is this rfk jr shit where they're turning him into a quack and these companies are going to go under if they have to follow these regulations.

They're following them already in Canada.

Exactly.

It's like

same factory.

Same fruit loops.

And now we got to feel bad for Kellogg's.

Right?

We're like, oh, my God, they're not going to make it.

Poor Kellogg's.

Didn't

Newsom just veto a bill that would stop forever chemicals?

There was a bill that would stop forever chemicals being used on, I think, cooking utensils.

Like, there's certain like non-stick cookware that has forever chemicals on it.

If you're scraping it with like a metal spatula, it'll probably get in your diet.

Yeah.

Not good.

Yeah.

I think he, they were banning it.

So I think he vetoed it.

Yeah.

He vetoed a California bill banning cookware with PFAS's forever chemicals.

It says the bill would cause sudden product shift, sparking debate among chefs, lawmakers, and environmentalists.

No, no, the bill stops poison, bro.

The bill stops poison for going into human bodies.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You profit monster.

Yeah, did you?

You fucking profit monster.

Did you see, there's there's a, there's a guy named Van Van Lathen was asking him about APAC.

Did you see this?

He just says something.

It's interesting.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's just

interesting.

This is not something I don't think about it.

I don't.

It's just

interesting.

It's interesting.

I'm interested.

I'm interested.

I'm interested.

Now I'm interested.

Now I'm interested.

Yeah, what is he coming on?

He's talking some shit on Twitter.

I know.

Like, you think that's going to work?

Like, that's so stupid.

Like, this is such a bad look.

It's such a bad choice.

There's a little desperation in it.

But it's just stupid.

It's like this is a bad strategy.

Like I probably would have had him on.

But now I'm like, nah, what are you doing?

There is a fun version where you just do it and cook him.

He'll cook himself.

I mean, that seems to be all you have to do is just ask him questions.

Yeah, it's like, why are people leaving?

Why do you say this thing all the time where you rattle off all the good things about California?

When anybody says something bad about California, it's like, number one in Fortune 500 companies, number one in higher education, number one,

it was all that shit before you were there.

It was all that shit forever.

It's because the weather's perfect, man.

It has nothing to do with California.

California is an unbelievable state.

Amazing.

This is just what we have to call it.

It's like the mountains in the oceans, two hours apart.

It's unbelievable.

Yeah.

It's probably

in terms of like one place, if you had to live in one state for the rest of your life, one state for the rest of your life, you could never move.

And that was the only place you could live.

It's California.

It's like not even a question.

Yeah, it's perfect.

If you want snow, you can have snow.

If you want to be in San Diego on the beach all day, you have the San Diego and the beach.

You can surf.

You could snow, but you could do whatever the fuck you want.

You want to be a farmer?

All kinds of parts of San Francisco, all kinds of parts of Oakland, all kinds of parts of the San Fernando Valley.

It's so different.

It's like there's so many different ways you can live in California.

But there are fucking problems, and people are leaving.

Like, if people are leaving the place you're in charge of, don't be upset if people are critical of how you've been managing it.

Yeah.

Like, Hollywood,

I've been talking to like people who are making films, like the producers of films, not like the actors, right?

Like the actual people who are putting the money up to make films, right?

Because they'll give you the real.

Right.

Like, we're filming in Australia.

I'm like, guys, why the fuck are we filming Australia?

Like, Australia is nice, but why the fuck are we here?

And they're like, you can't make a movie in Hollywood.

I go, what do you mean you can't make it?

They go, you cannot.

I go, where was Hollywood on the list of places we could film?

I go, give me the number.

And they're like, not even top 10.

Wow.

Not even top 10.

Wow.

It was Australia.

You get 60% off in taxes or something like that.

60.

60.

We're talking about if you're making like a $10 million rom-com, that's one thing.

If you're making a $100 million, $200 million film, 60% off in taxes?

Yeah.

So something's happened at LA.

And it's fucked up because I look at LA kind of like a college football town, but college football is the film industry.

And it's like, if you don't nurture that, I'm not worried about the actors.

It's like, there's the guys who do the lighting.

They do transpo.

These are guys who are like, they're like working class guys.

They make good money, don't get me wrong.

But that goes away.

The crew that came out to film, like a lot of the crew that came out to film in Australia was from LA.

And a lot of them have moved out LA.

They've moved to like San Diego.

Like my boy Nick, who's AD, he's like, yeah, there's just no work in LA right now.

So we'll travel for the job.

And then I just live the rest of my time in San Diego.

That's a problem.

netflix just built this like billion dollar studio in jersey did you see this no so like they're gonna start taking production over there i'm just saying like you have the industry that everybody knows los angeles for

what other thing do we know la for that's it it's being famous music movies

yeah it's all la that's all la is i don't even know what music is coming out of there anymore like when we were kids you think about like what those those iconic like rock and roll venues right well it's also a town of lost children, right?

Like one of the problems with L.A.

is like if you wanted to talk about a town that doesn't have like an emotional base that's healthy, like the main motivation of a good percentage of the people that came out there is to just to get attention to make up for a shitty childhood.

Like that's the main

population.

L.A.

is attention to make up for a shitty childhood.

New York is money to make up for a shitty childhood.

Yes.

That's really what it is.

Yes.

It's like

New York is the hedge funds of the banks because it's like, okay, my dad wasn't around.

My mom hated me, but I'm going to make a billion dollars.

And that's what I'm going to do.

My mom was on pills and barely there.

And, you know,

developed enough sociopathy.

I can be this fucking hedge fund guy that's going to take over the world.

That's what they believe.

And then LA is the same thing, but it's just pats in the back.

I want people to love me.

Yeah, it's both two different versions of American psycho.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm trying to wonder, like, which one is worse?

Like.

New York is better because at least they have more information.

They have more things they can talk to you about.

What I say, yeah, what I always say about New York is like

we still appreciate greatness even if you're not, even if you're not wealthy.

So like the best skateboarder is really cool in New York.

Yeah.

The best street artist is really cool.

Right, right, right.

Whereas I think LA, because it's built around the entertainment industry, it's like whatever's hot, you could have a dog shit movie but if it's the biggest movie you're the guy yeah and because there is that dependence on like star power over there uh-huh where I think is New York is like the kind of dependence is the banks like the industry doesn't rely so like we get to masquerade as like really enjoying artists right like you could be a bad motherfucker and be playing in like subway tunnels And people like, oh, this guy's the nihilist.

And some guys do like make it out of there like that.

Like Charlie Crockett.

Busking, I believe it's called.

Yeah, Charlie Crockett used to just pull up and start playing.

You don't know who Charlie Crockett is?

Did they do a 50s

version of his music?

No, no, no.

That's the only way I know.

No, he does like a 50s version of his music.

He's like a country guy who was a street kid.

Oh.

Yeah, man.

My bad, Charlie.

He's a bad motherfucker.

He's really good, man.

Wasn't he familiar with that?

He's got a voice where you're like, oh, this guy's seen some shit.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Okay, I got you.

So he used to.

This is fire.

He would sing on fucking subway cars.

He would sing, you know, in the tunnels.

Yeah.

He would do his shit on street corners.

He was like homeless for a long time.

Yeah.

And now he's killing it.

Yeah.

Very, very interesting guy.

But that's New York, right?

He was in New York doing country music outside.

Yeah.

You can do stuff like that in New York, and people are like, look at this bad motherfucker.

That's the thing.

You do it in L.A., they're like, you fucking loser.

You're never going to be Bruce Brinkstein.

Whatever it is.

They don't care about the best pool player in L.A.

No.

But New York, there's like a little bubble that you could exist in where you're like the king of the fucking cash.

True.

L.A.

has no pool halls.

And it's just like another version.

It's like everything is geared around entertainment.

And I get it.

That's it.

It's like if you're the coach of the football team in Ohio State, like you're the guy.

Yeah.

But I think it's kind of cool in New York that you have these little bubbles where...

you know, people really value this niche thing that you do.

Well, New York has strong communities of bubbles, right?

Like the pool thing is a good example because L.A.

at one time had Hollywood Billiards, which was a 24-hour pool hall that was filled with hustlers.

It was like a notorious place.

Like if you were a New York pool player and you were coming to L.A.,

you went to Hollywood and you went downstairs and there was all these like, you could get a game.

You could get a game with some fucking killers.

That's what pool hall is to say, bro.

It's underground.

A lot of them.

It's like, at least back where I'm going to go.

That was Chelsea.

Chelsea Billiards was underground, too.

Like some of the big, that was the story.

And then the one up on 86 was at,

I think at one point it was Amsterdam, but it was upstairs.

And then there was another one on 86th Street on the east side that was downstairs.

Oh, yeah.

The downstairs one's probably shiftier.

That was the one that Nikki Schulman, the guy I was telling you about, that I went to middle school with in elementary school.

Oh, he would go to that one?

We would just go during lunch.

And I was like, why is this guy like this place?

There were hundreds of pool halls in the 90s when I lived in New York.

Hundreds.

You'd go to these like 24-hour Chinese joints.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You go in Chinatown, there's killer players, and they could barely speak speak English.

But my point is, LA only had one.

My boy, this Chinese kid, we called him Cowboy.

We went to,

he was at our school.

I mean, like, the kid had the strongest Chinese accent.

I think he was born in America.

It was crazy.

It was like, it's like, I didn't even understand.

I was like, this guy's got to be putting it on.

He lived in like the Chinese version of like the projects in Chinatown, right?

And He had a pool table in his apartment.

Whoa.

There was no room in the apartment.

It's It's the projects, right?

Like I'm watching his mom like skirt around the pool table.

Half the shots you can't even do, but like the obsession was unreal.

And Cowboy was legit.

Yeah.

You need a place to practice in the dark when no one's looking.

That's the thing about pool players.

Wait, wait.

You want to get good when no one's watching so you can sneak up on people.

Oh, yeah, yeah, that's true.

So they have this idea how good you play, but you play a lot better than that.

You got to be able to practice in silence.

But now with the internet, you can't hustle anymore.

I feel like.

No, there's no hustling anymore.

There's like maybe a few guys guys that could pull it off on idiots, but amongst high-level guys,

all the action is knocked.

My point was there's only one place in all of L.A.

L.A.

had 20 million people.

There was one place that was pretty good.

There was a place in

the Valley.

There was a couple places in

when you start going out towards Santa Barbara, Talbot.

There was a few places.

But as far as like the volume of New York City, it was not even close.

It was New York, Connecticut, New Jersey.

They were all filled with legendary pool hall.

We used to play at West End Billiards in New Jersey.

They had a weekly tournament with like pros.

It was in Elizabeth, New Jersey.

Super sketchy area.

Super sketchy.

But you would go there and you'd see Steve Miserak playing Rodney Morris, two world-class world championship level pool players in this shitty ass fucking weird spot with a diner counter there.

It was, it was,

they were everywhere.

It's a cool world, the pool world.

Oh, it's a great world.

I remember I was here, I forget when it was, but like there, you had a guy down here.

I don't know if he just did the pod, but he was like an OG, and I think he like commentates maybe now.

Jeremy Jones.

Jeremy Jones.

And he could hold court.

Like he was a funny dude.

He's a funny storyteller.

Yeah, he's a funny dude.

He was on the podcast, too.

He had some great fucking stories.

Yeah, that was cool talking.

And that dude won the U.S.

open the u.s open's the pool tournament where it's the u.s open but people come from everywhere yeah like people come from all around the world taiwan germany all over the place to play in that tournament that's the big one and jeremy won that shit yeah he won that shit that's how good he played hearing his stories about like going like being like essentially like a traveling pool hustler and like popping into a town where you heard there was some game and you travel with like a couple other people one guy would like uh sense it out he would go play a couple games see who's there, and then Jeremy would just come in and just clean up for two weeks straight, and then you're out of there.

Yep.

It is and you play like you suck at first.

At first, right?

That's right.

Yeah, the first week you just let people beat up on you a little bit, and then the second week you eat their lunch.

Depends on how thick your bankroll is.

You know, like if you could start off like just you only got like 150 to lose, you know, like you have your gambling money.

Like, what can we fuck with before we start getting into real money?

Because if you want to get somebody on the hook, you don't want to get them on the hook for $100.

You want to get them on the hook for $5,000.

Hook means you want them to have the confidence that they'll beat you?

Well, when they're on the hook is when they're fucked.

So you let them win a few games, and then you say, let's bet some fucking real money.

And, you know, you look nervous and shit, and then you get a game for $5,000.

You're like,

okay, here we go.

And then you loosen up, then all of a sudden the stroke is smooth.

And he's like, what the fuck happened?

It's like midway through that game when someone realizes they're being hustled.

Oh, they get mad.

I've been there.

I've been there.

Not with me.

I was never good enough to hustle people, but my friend Johnny was a professional pool hustler.

My friend Johnny was a homeless guy.

Not the guy from Connecticut?

No, that's Tommy.

Tommy.

That's Tommy.

Tommy was different.

Tommy wasn't as crazy as Johnny.

Tommy's clean and sober.

He has been.

He smokes a little weed, but his whole life, he never drank, never did drugs.

And he was an elite pool player.

But Johnny was the Johnny actually used to play at the subways, too.

He used to go downstairs.

He was a a musician.

So he would, he would, had a little keyboard and shit.

That was one of the ways that he made money.

But he would hustle people.

That's how I met him.

He tried to hustle me.

Yeah, he just comes over and he starts talking like, dude, you play pretty good.

You want to play some?

And I was like, what?

We talking about, man.

Did you have the defenses up?

Right away, I knew.

I could smell a predator.

I was like, get the fuck out of here.

And we became friends.

So he sees it.

Do you respect the hustle?

100%.

Okay, so within pool, someone trying to hustle you,

it's not seen as an act of aggression at all.

It's just like this is part of the game.

Part of the fun.

Yeah.

It's part of the fun.

Oh, so you almost appreciate when someone is.

100% because you don't know.

Like, is this guy fucking with me?

You play good.

Do you play good?

And you don't know.

Did you ever see the movie The Color of Money?

No.

There's a scene where

Paul Newman and Forrest Whitaker.

Forrest Whitaker hustles Paul Newman.

Yeah.

And

he, at one point in time, Paul Newman goes, are you a hustler?

Are you a hustler?

Because Paul Newman in the movie The Hustler was the guy who did that to other people.

He pretended he sucked and then he would eventually get all their money.

And he goes,

and Forrest Whitaker looks at him and goes, what, you want to quit?

He goes, you can quit.

And he's like, fuck you.

He's like, all right, let's go.

And then he's got him on the hook because he's better than him.

And Paul Newman has to realize, oh my God, this young guy is better than me.

And he's stealing my money.

And at the end, he asked him a question.

He goes, can I ask you a question?

Do you think I need to lose some weight?

And he just smiles at him and he just walks out.

Because, you know, Forrest Whitaker is fat.

Yeah.

You know, he just smiled at him and he just peels the hundreds off the table and leaves.

That's part of the fun.

Part of the fun is like, maybe you're going to get got.

But it can only happen in two ways.

But that's the same thing.

If you're naive or if you suck.

Because if you're the best, you can't get hustled.

Yeah, I guess what I'm trying to say is like

in just regular life, if somebody was trying to hustle me, I would be like, fuck you, you're an asshole.

But there's a different, it's almost like prison rules.

Like, there's a different set of rules.

Like, being racist is wrong in regular life.

And then everybody goes into prison.

It's like, all right, we're going to divide this thing up a little bit, you know?

We're going to throw it back to the 1800s.

You guys over here, we're going here, right?

And it's just like, I don't even know if they look at it as hateful.

I think they're like, this is just what we got to do to make it through.

I assume that's kind of more or less what I'm sure there's hateful guys within it.

Yes.

Yeah.

But like, so, so I just, I just find it interesting when people have different rule sets that they operate within society.

Yes.

And I feel like this is one of them where a guy's coming over to essentially steal your money, but you understand that the game is that.

So you're like, okay, I'm going to let you like riz me up a little bit.

Like I'm going to let you fake charm me and I might actually get you over.

And there's no animosity between the sharks.

Have you ever seen two elite pool players talk about the the game, about like setting up a game?

They're like, I don't know, I haven't been playing.

I haven't been hitting balls.

You know, I'm not really,

I can't give you any weight, man.

I'm just not playing that good.

Weight is like a spot.

Weight is like a spot.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So like if nine ball, so like if you and I were playing nine ball and you were kind of good, I was like, look, I'll give you the eight ball, which means you could win by pocketing the eight ball or the nine ball.

It way increases your ability to win the game because you can make combinations, you could luck in the eight ball, luck luck in the nine and I would say it's call or wild what does that mean it's wild it means you could knock into some balls and accidentally knock in the eight ball and you'd win the game yeah I would say I'll give you the call shot eight and you're like no I need it wild and we'd have this conversation I need it wild and I need the brakes like oh I don't know about the brakes and you'd have to like work out a game a spot so like that's where the hustling comes in because someone pretends they need weight that can beat you.

They could beat you already.

And then they get you to give them weight.

So now, yeah, now you got a lot of confidence going in.

You're like, this guy sucks to the point where I got to give him.

Do you know open micers that are way too confident for their actual ability?

You know, open micers that think they're doing well, or guys in the beginning.

I'll be honest, I don't know any open micers anymore.

But you remember, yes, but you remember?

Yes, okay.

Yes, yes.

That's the same way with pool players.

There's pool players that are kind of okay, but think they're a lot better than they are.

And if they're a moron and you could dance with their ego a little bit, like, dude, I saw you play play Mikey.

You're fucking amazing.

When you get loose, you're way better than me.

And the guy's like, well, I'll give you a spot.

And the next thing you know, he's giving you the eight ball and he can't beat you even.

It's half of the fun.

Jeremy Jones told me a story about how he hustled Marcus Shimont.

Marcus Shimant is like a world-class pool player, like a top-flight pool player.

And he hustled him by getting him to give him weight.

And Jeremy could beat him even.

And why would Marcus do it?

Because he didn't know any better.

Oh, he didn't know.

He wasn't aware.

Jeremy came in with a fake name.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

That's crazy.

That's.

Well, they all had fake names.

They all had fake names.

Yeah, he told me that when he was coming down to Texas to get those games.

Like, yeah, you come up with a fake name and, like, somebody else talks about you.

Yes.

Like, your buddy who goes in to kind of like scope it out talks about you.

He gambles high.

Yeah, yeah.

He's a wild boy.

He loses a lot, but he's not scared to gamble.

And everybody loves to hear that kind of stupid talk.

Yeah.

Do you know who Efren Reyes is?

Yo, you told me about this guy, and then I started looking him up.

Bro.

But what was his other name?

Caesar Morales.

Yes, yes, yes.

He came here from the Philippines.

This is how strong he was.

From another country, he had to change his name.

It's before Google, before Wikipedia.

Black and white photo.

There's a black and white photo that I have a t-shirt of.

It was like Morales stuns the field at Reds.

He came over from the Philippines and robbed everybody.

That's right.

Robbed the best blue players in America.

He had to fake his name.

Because if he said Efren Reyes, you'd see the look on the Filipinos' face.

They're like, Efren, Efren's here.

Yeah.

Efren's here.

Yeah.

Bata.

They called him Bata.

The kid.

Was this.

I wonder if this is like early days.

That's it.

Look at that.

Look at that photo, bro.

Black and white photo.

Scragged out.

1885.

Yeah.

It didn't have to be black and white in 85.

But that dude rolled over here and started fucking people up.

What's his name on there?

Oh, signs his name Efren Reyes.

Well, you know what it is?

Because when he played in the tournament, he went under the name of Caesar Morales.

Then he had to collect his money.

He needed like a real name where he had ID to cash the check.

Bob says there's another guy that was using an alias too.

Well, Wade Crane.

Wade Crane would go around as Billy Johnson.

That was his nom de plur when he was hustling.

Yeah.

Billy Johnson.

But he was Wade Crane.

He was this big fucking like linebacker-looking dude who had a cannon for a break, just boom.

And then it would just run out on people all over the country.

But the thing is, if you rob lemons, that's when you're getting in fights.

So if you rob regular people, that's a regular guy who doesn't really play pool, and you hustle him, that's when you get in fights because they don't know how this whole thing works.

Yeah, but they lied to me and still

of engagement.

They think it's a crime.

You know, you play it better than you really amongst the sharks?

You don't play everything for you.

You have to be like really desperate to play lemons.

If you find some idiots just knocking some eight balls around and you could tell they can't play at all

and you start talking shit to get in their ego and you convince one of these dummies to play you for money.

You're stealing money.

Yeah.

And they might kill you.

Yeah.

But if you do it to a guy who's involved in a gambling match for pool, like if him and his buddies are playing and they're

professional fighters fighting each other.

Exactly.

Exactly.

It's the rules of engagement.

And amongst pool players, it's part of the fun.

Like they'll go for an hour and a half without making a game, just talking shit about different spots.

I'm going to need this.

I'm going to need that.

Because they're addicted to that part, too.

Oh, yeah.

Like, sometimes.

Foreplay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, you want to go right in there.

Yeah.

Suck on it a little.

Yeah.

Let's get the juices flowing.

Come on.

It's fun to,

yeah, it's fun to

enjoy something,

especially.

Yeah, when you sit down at a restaurant, you don't immediately get food stuffed right in your face.

Yeah.

You sit down, you have a glass of wine, you start talking.

Let me tell you what this guy told me.

And they're like, oh, and you're having fun.

But are you doing that when you're playing?

Like, you said you're playing how many hours a week now?

It depends.

Sometimes I'll play like, Two hours in a day every day.

Okay, so let's say you're playing bare minimum, let's say 10 hours a week.

Right.

That's not good enough.

Yeah, I know.

I mean, I remember when we were talking last time, you said that, like...

Pros play eight hours a day.

Yeah, but you said some crazy shit.

You said, uh,

you're like, I don't start playing well until like hour six or something.

Hour two.

You said some shit about like, I need to be a little drunk.

I need to be like a little loose.

No, not drunk.

A little high helps.

You started like everything that goes against what should work for like your physical ability.

I know.

You mentioned something about like flow or something.

I think this is with Jones, too.

Like Jones is like, yeah, I like getting into it.

Like he was like, I'll play for like six hours and then I'm starting to really kind of warm up.

I'm locking in.

I'm dialing in.

Yeah.

And that's why it's like first to 100.

Like, that's another thing I didn't realize.

I didn't realize guys are playing 100 games over like two days.

Three days.

120 is a big one.

I thought it's like, yo, we play a couple.

It's like best out of five.

And he's like, no, no, no, no, no.

Like you're up.

And sometimes part of it is being able to outlast them.

Like, the exhaustion takes over, and sometimes people will tap out.

Well, it's concentration goes away.

Like, the concentration of focusing on an edge of a ball at distance and then also not moving your arm off this line.

Yeah.

So there's a line that I'm, when I'm stroking a ball, there's a line in the middle of this.

Sora, Sora, do your thing.

Here we are.

I'll help you out.

Have the kids.

Here come in.

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From the elbow to the cradle.

Right, I'm holding onto that cue like a baby bird.

Oh, really?

It's a soft

Oh, it's very soft.

I hold on to it like a little baby bird.

Yeah, I never like death grip.

Yeah, it's very light.

So who would death grip it?

Who?

Peanut button.

No.

See what Sora is doing to us?

Yeah, man.

No, no, no.

Okay, so it's a light grip.

And then on the final stroke, you have to.

The thing is, it's like...

Even then, it's like mostly the weight of the cue.

It's like a little bit of like wrist action.

And I'm trying to like have as little, I let the cue slip a little in my grip as it makes contact.

It's really like the weight of the cue.

Why would you want to reduce force?

It's not reducing force.

It's actually the opposite.

I actually get more force.

Oh, you let it slip forward into it.

Ah, I thought on impact it slides back in your hands.

No, it goes through my hand.

I have to catch it before it goes away.

Got it, got it.

Jeremy calls it throwing the cue, and he showed me the technique.

And

it's also the old school guys used to call it a slip stroke where the cue like slips in your hand a little bit and it's a sign that you're like barely like Efren was the best at it.

Efren cradled the cue like his hands were delicate.

He's barely holding it and his wrist was loose and it makes the cue ball dance.

Like there's no sliding.

If you hit it too hard the cue ball slides.

It's like it gets pushed.

It's crude.

But if you hit it gently, you stroke the ball, it just rolls forward perfectly and collides with the other ball and gets perfect position.

It's a work of art, but it's a work of art that only someone who practices it can understand.

People,

like I was telling you about playing paddle and how like obsessed I am, and you're, you immediately were like, I'm playing pool 14 hours a week.

I don't think people realize like how important it is to just have some shit that you enjoy.

So important.

That you're not making money at or anything like that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

How nice is it?

It's like a removal from all like this stupid stress chaos of all people talking shit what the internet is fabricated like it's great to have a couple hours maybe that's what it is like oh it centers you for sure there's some like archery does that for me too um you need something that you're focusing on getting really good at that's fucking hard who that doesn't give a shit who you are yeah doesn't give a shit what your name is doesn't give a shit if you sold out madison square garden yeah just you better put that fucking arrow on that target or you're a loser yeah You're a loser.

Put it in there.

And that's, there's absolute truth in pool.

There's absolute truth in archery.

It's absolute truth.

The arrow either hits the target or it does not.

There is no room for charisma.

There's no room for bullshit.

It either gets in there or it does not.

And I think things like that, whether it's golf or paddle for you or whatever it is, jiu-jitsu for some people, you either tap someone or you do not you either get tapped or you tap them Yeah, you know, and there's absolute truth in that and stuff like that is like really good for artists because Art is so subjective also successful people like

It's nice to have something that humbles you Yes, you know what I mean?

Like people are meeting you all day.

They're probably so excited and like they're they're being versions of their selves around you, you know like do you ever even feel like that?

Like like how many people are you having like a normal conversation where you're like talking shit and they're not going oh my god i'm talking to joe rogan right now

like is that why like is that why being around comedians that you've known for so long is valuable to you is that why like being around these pool guys that yes they know you're joe but like once you start playing like you either suck at pool yeah or you can play like is there like a uh Does it like bring you back to humanity in some ways?

Oh, for sure.

It helps.

Yeah.

It keeps you humble.

Yeah.

Jiu-Jitsu's the best at that because not only are they beating you, they're literally killing you.

And you're saying, you just killed me.

Yeah.

Thanks.

Don't rip my knee apart.

Thanks.

Don't break my arm.

Thank you.

If you get a guy gets you in an R-bar, man, it is so humiliating.

It's so funny that

this is such a delicate thing before you die.

Yeah.

Well, often you even say it, too.

Like sometimes you just say, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

Yeah.

You know, like that happened in one of the last UFCs.

Um, a dude was saying, tap, tap, tap.

Uh, Josh Emmett, uh, when he got caught, he got caught in an arm bar and had a verbally tap.

It's uh,

you get humbled.

Yeah.

It's real.

It is what it is.

And if you don't have anything like that in life, you can, like, really have this aversion to losing.

Yeah.

And an aversion to losing is very fucking dangerous.

It's very fucking dangerous.

Yeah, you just get comfy.

Yep.

Yeah, you need to have something that you need to have something that scares you.

Being scared is good.

Well, it gives you some resilience it's like if you're a person who sleeps all day and now you have to run a marathon well you're not going to be able to yeah because you never ran yeah but if you run all the time you can run a fucking marathon and it's real relaxing you know it's really just how much you put into it and if you're not a person who's used to losing at anything ever and then you lose it's devastating for your whole life yeah this is like the um

you know, if you're like a, like a, a prince or something like that.

Uh-huh.

Exactly.

You're Joffrey.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And that can happen and you don't build up that resilience.

I almost feel like it's, you almost have some empathy for it, you know, because like they never had 20 years, 30 years toiling in obscurity before they got success.

So they, we, you know, like we at least have something to like look back on and realize how fucking humbling it is and how shitty people can be, et cetera.

But like they never experienced it.

Childhood stars.

Childhood stars are all fucked up.

There's not, I never met one of them that's got there's well, you know, some of them are really interesting still, like Miley, Miley sire she's really interesting she's very smart and she's really good like her music is like she's not trying to be like pop hit girl she's just trying to express herself it's like real legit art but they ain't no way you get that famous that young you're fucking hannah montana when you're a teenager and the whole world is cheering for you and you don't get a little crazy because of that yeah i never met one of them that's got their shit together is that the britney thing yeah 100 man but that's michael jackson He's the best example of it of all time.

I wonder just what responsibility.

I wonder what responsibility the people around them have.

A lot.

You know?

A lot.

They might not know it while it's happening, though.

Yeah, because they're going to be paid off it.

It's a little bit of that, but it's not shunned.

Like, it's still a thing in Hollywood.

What do you mean?

I mean, in Hollywood, when you have children and your children want to act, people encourage it.

They bring their kids to auditions.

They call them, you know, what is audition moms or, you know, what's the term?

Stage moms.

That's it.

Yeah.

Stage moms.

Like, dude, those are real, man.

I've worked with kids before on a TV show.

And like, I had one of the moms of the kids was like,

how does she get more work?

What does she need to do?

And I was like, I don't know.

I'm like, I don't come from this world.

I'm a comedian.

I come from a totally different world.

I don't know how you go about doing it.

But the mom was like super desperate to get her kid more work.

And I was like, ooh.

And that's the the tricky thing because it's not like merit-based like sports in a lot of ways.

Like there are people that are good at shit.

They're good at acting, et cetera.

But like

a lot of it is maybe who you know, what they're willing to do, how uncomfortable a position they're willing to be in.

Most of that, I think.

Because most people at that level, especially like little kid acting,

most people are pretty similar.

There's no like one little kid, like, oh my God, he's a Marlon Brando of little kids.

Yeah.

Like, maybe this Ricky Schroeder from The Champ.

Do you ever see that movie, The Champ, with John Voigt?

Oh, my God, dude.

Oh, my God.

I saw it was a little kid.

I cried my eyes out.

It's a rough movie.

It's about this boxer who dies.

John Voigt dies, and his kid is trying to get him to wake up.

He's like, wake up, champ.

He died in the ring.

But it's like crazy.

He's crying.

You're like, oh, my God.

It seems so real.

How old is the kid?

I don't know how old Ricky Schroeder was.

It was supposed to be in the movie, but he's a kid.

Like nine or something like that.

So imagine being nine, like knowing how to cry on cue.

Crazy.

Right?

Like, where are you?

Yeah.

I know.

So he's practicing that emotional depth.

He did that, and then he did Silver Spoons.

He had this TV show.

He did, like, and, you know,

he was seven.

Yeah.

God damn.

Seven.

Yeah, it's a fine line because you see some of these parents, not like a stage parent.

Yeah, there he is right there.

Even like.

It's so sad.

You know, the guy who drives for Red Bull, Max Verstappen?

You haven't heard his name yet.

Widely, he's like considered the best driver right now.

Like, despite maybe the car not being elite, he's so elite that he can compete with maybe better cars on the track.

And he's already won a bunch of championships, et cetera.

But I think his dad was also a driver.

And apparently,

his dad cultivated a next champion.

And that was the goal.

Tiger Woodsdom.

But the thing right there is

your kid is going to be born with certain things.

And you can, if they have that like ambition, that hunger and that resilience, you can give them some tough love and maybe make a champion out of them.

But some of them don't.

And I think that you could break a kid like that, too.

That's the tricky thing I always think with, you know, my daughter is like, and any future kids is.

I don't know if I don't have that at this point in my life.

I don't have that.

I need to make you into something.

You shouldn't.

I just.

You got to let them be themselves.

Yeah.

Because they all are going to have...

The worst thing is like, say, if you have a kid and you love baseball and you force your fucking kid to play baseball, you got to go to baseball practice and you force your kid to play professionally.

Yep.

You know.

I was lucky I was ambitious and I had parents that just supported the things that I was ambitious about.

So if I wanted to hoop, they were like, all right, let's go play bad.

And my dad was like, let's go every single day, whatever you want to do.

But I never felt this like this stage mom or dad presence where they were going, hey, you missed four shots today.

Let's review those shots that you missed and let's figure out ways that you can't do it right like kind of let me have that on my own yeah I don't need you to insert your ambition into me I feel like that's kind of selfish in a lot of ways it is and it's also it's like you got to know when the line is like maybe they do want advice like maybe they are trying to get better at this thing but you have to have the kind of communication with your kid like do you do you want some help let me help you yeah you know like like i can i can give you some information like say if your kid wanted to like if your kid wanted to do stand-up and your kids started doing stand-up and they're bombing and you're like,

do you want me to talk to you?

Do you want to talk to you?

Do you want to just work this out on your own?

You have to have that kind of open level of communication with your kids where they can tell you.

Like, hey, just leave me the fuck alone right now.

Okay.

I know you bombed.

You know, it sucks.

Yeah.

I can tell you about my bombs.

I bombed a lot.

I'll tell you what I learned.

I got better after the bombing.

Like, it's like it sucks, but it's actually good for you.

So you're delicate with your kids.

Yeah, you have to be.

I have daughters.

You know, if I had a son, I'd beat the shit out of him.

Take him to jiu-jitsu.

Make sure that he knows I can kill him with my parents.

God, you got daughters, bro.

Maybe we needed Rogan to have them.

Maybe that's your destiny, man.

Maybe that softens you up a little bit.

It definitely does.

It just lets you understand that they're so different.

The way they are, they're so different.

Like my friends that have sons, they come home, the people are lighting things on fire.

They're picking the cat up by its tail.

There's all these people who don't have kids that have all these opinions about gender and what you're born as and all this other stuff.

And I don't need to get into the whole gender discussion, but like I see the way that slightly older girls play with my daughter.

So like my daughter's a little, you're 20 months, right?

So the three-year-olds and four-year-olds that play with her, they're already kind of like mothering.

They're like patient with her.

They're delicate.

They'll want to give her a toy if she wants to give it back.

They're fine.

It's just like this amazing thing.

I don't know how.

Maybe they're watching their mom do it to them, et cetera.

but the boys don't give a fuck right and older boys will convince younger boys to jump off the top bunk in a second yeah in a second yeah my boy jason got uh two kids both boys and like you could tell if we weren't there the older kid is gonna throw the the younger kid wherever the hell he wants to throw yeah like we got to constantly monitor yeah you know and that's something baked in yeah

baked in yeah yeah they're like dogs yeah

hey hey hey that might be generous yeah even dogs would be nice with babies yeah they're not Well, they're probably okay with babies, but as soon as you can start walking, you're on your own.

Yeah, and if they trip you

if it's a five-year-old to a two-year-old, maybe, but once you get to be three and four, fuck you.

And, you know, it's also this understanding that you keep getting bigger.

And, like, as like, as time goes on, like, the younger ones, like, if someone's picking on you, you can pick on someone younger than you.

And, like, there's, especially if you're like four brothers, like, the toughest brother is always the youngest brother.

Like, if there's a bunch of fighters,

it.

If there's a bunch of fighters and he has three older brothers.

Did John have three older brothers?

No.

John, I think, is the middle.

I think Arthur is the oldest.

He just died.

Rest in peace.

And then John, and then Chandler's younger, right?

Is that correct?

John John is the younger.

No, yeah, you're right.

Chandler's younger.

Chandler's the youngest.

Big boys.

Here's the thing.

John's the only one who became a legit fighter, but Chandler was always like, I'll fuck John up.

Like, he said it publicly.

Like that's how they grow up.

Like you grow up in a household with two super athletes as brothers.

I just,

I have empathy for their dad.

Like imagine trying to discipline those three guys when they're like 16.

Right.

Good luck.

Good luck.

I sat next to them when we were at the end.

No, no, no.

They're just different.

It's different.

And their grandmother is, John told me is where the genetics come from.

Oh, really?

He goes, this is my grandma.

And he introduced me to his grandmother.

I'm like, yo, his grandmother's

big.

She's big, man.

Big lady.

Yeah, we sat next to them at the

sphere fight.

Ah, and they're all having the best time.

They're just like, yeah, John's always having a good time.

He's wearing cowboy hats now.

He's leaning.

Dude, he's so funny.

He's the sheriff.

It's funny how

he's like, you know, they were trying to pressure him to fight Tom Aspinall.

Is he going to fight?

Like, what's the deal?

Who knows?

That's part of the funny.

I feel like you know.

He's doing what a pool hustler does.

That's what I was about to say.

Oh, that's doing it.

Like, I guarantee you, if John really thinks that he's fighting in June, he's already in camp.

Oh, so he's making it seem like he's not potentially.

I would imagine that John is preparing.

Because John has different places to train.

You know, he doesn't just train at one place.

Yeah.

But I could imagine he does a lot of weightlifting, too.

He

put on a lot of real muscle mass when he went up to heavyweight.

If John really thinks he's going to fight Alex Pereira, he's getting ready.

He's at least getting getting ready in his mind.

Would it be Alex or do you think it was?

It would be

really.

So the Tom ship has sailed.

No, it hasn't sailed, but the big money fight is Alex and John Jones at the White House.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Yeah.

Catch weight.

Make it 225.

You know, Alex still is the light heavyweight champion.

Make it a catch weight fight.

You don't have to be for a title.

Make it the bad motherfucker upper edition.

You know, you have the BMF belt for 155ers.

Who's the real BMF?

Yeah.

You know, do you think even one of those guys can beat Alex Pereira?

You think he'd get 155 pounder in there against Alex Pereira?

Does Max Holloway survive against Alex Pereira?

No, shut the fuck up.

That's the bad motherfucker.

That's the only heavyweight.

We need to do a fuck like.

Yeah, he see it drop you on your fucking head.

You don't want to wrestle that dude.

Never.

Max is funny about that.

They're relationships.

He's like the kindest, sweetest guy.

And he's an animal, a full animal when he fights.

That'd be a wild thing, man.

That'd be a wild thing.

The John Jones-Alex Pereira fight would probably be the biggest fight in human history.

I mean, that's in the White House.

In the MMM, but as a matchup, you got the greatest of all time in John Jones and arguably the most destructive striker that's ever competed.

Yeah.

No one's like that guy.

Poulton?

That Uncle Ive fight.

He was like, fuck you.

Dude, it was such a...

And again, I don't know what's going through Uncle Iv's head at this moment, right?

But I know what I'm thinking.

I'm like, if I'm Uncle Ive, it's like, I outstruck this guy in the first time that they fought.

He's going to be cautious.

Yeah.

And I'm going to be able to walk him down.

And I remember the second the bell rings, he runs right at him and he throws like maybe like a one-two, one.

And I think the right is to the body.

And you could see Uncle Ive go, whoa, I did not expect the first five seconds of this fight to go this way.

He came out hot and closed distance real quick.

Immediately.

And it was a great, like, it's a testament to like, um, somebody had said this before, especially in MMA.

It's like when somebody gets not nervous or like when you shake somebody out of their like natural instinct, they revert back to what they're most comfortable doing.

So it's like if you're like a wrestling guy your whole life and then you learn how to strike, the second something goes a little bit, you know, out of whack, you're going to revert back to your wrestling.

I think it might have been DC that said, I forget exactly who was they saying, but like you revert back to what you're most comfortable doing.

DC said it, right?

Yeah.

Okay.

And, but I thought the most interesting thing about that fight is the punch that Pereira lands that stuns him is this looping right.

Nobody's training for Pereira's right.

Right.

Well, that's what he threw right away.

That was the first punch.

It was a straight right.

But he went to the body.

Yeah, it was long.

This is long, straight right he started off the fight with.

But when he lands this like looping right, that

it's not that one.

It's a little bit after that.

So what he did is he set him up and then got his foot in proper position.

where he could step inside of him.

And Ankalias was ready for one thing.

And Pereira, watch this.

If you see where he sets it up, a guy did a really good breakdown of it.

I'll watch it again.

He broke his foot there, right there.

Yeah, that kick.

He hit the shin and he broke his toe.

Yeah, I think he gets Uncle Live to switch stances.

Well, he's just putting mad pressure on him.

He's putting mad pressure on him.

Yeah, that you don't see from him too often.

Yeah.

And it's time.

And he just dips in

and drops a a fucking hammer on him.

Here it is.

Boom.

So he left.

Ankalayev started moving to the right to Pereira's right when he put pressure on him.

And that's why, because everybody's scared of the left.

The movement with Pereira is don't ever walk to your right because that's walking into his left hook.

Circle away.

So circle away.

So their idea was we're going to circle away.

And Pereira was like, I bet you're going to circle away.

And he just stomped him.

And this.

You could tell he enjoyed it.

Yeah.

Because he was sick.

The first fight, he was sick.

He was 100%.

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Percent sick.

He was sick as a dog the entire camp.

I didn't know that.

But I also know.

Polinho, his coach, told me after the fight.

Like after he just knocked out Uncle Ive, he goes, let me tell you something first camp, he was so sick, bro.

He was so sick, like

he could barely eat.

Really?

Yeah.

I think he said retrovirus, but I think it's norovirus.

I think that's what I was going around.

And he also fucked up his hand.

He had a really badly hurt left hand.

And that's the moneymaker.

And then when you see this, you're like, that's what you get when you get a fully in shape and healthy Alex.

You get stomped.

Yeah.

But these guys are never fully healthy.

Like, anytime, I was just talking to, I believe his name is Paul Hughes.

Do you know him?

He just fought, it's PFL.

He fought.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think he fought

Usman.

Usman

Nermagamo.

Yeah.

And for the second time.

The first fight was contested.

It was a close fight.

Yeah, if you're a Nerma Medov, if you're, you know, you're in the Khabib camp.

Yeah.

I mean, come on, some.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Come on.

It's real shit.

But to carry that last name around, there's a lot of responsibility.

Khabib Nermagamedov might be like the greatest name in the history of grappling, MMA fighting.

You've got Khabib's last name.

Yeah.

Yeah, if you saw that on a lineup in a jiu-jitsu tournament or something, you'd be like, Nermikamanoff?

Oh, yeah.

You would just have a thousand-yard stay.

Like, fuck.

Anyway, like, you fought him again, and, like,

you know, he was like, yeah, I was dealing with a bunch of, you know, some, I was dealing with some stuff in campus, but I don't want to make excuses because we're always dealing with some stuff.

He was like, always.

He was like, he's probably dealing with stuff.

Like, that guy, I mean, it was a close fight, but I thought that he came out to the show in Dubai.

And I was like, and he was like,

he was like, yeah, he's just really good.

He's just like a really good guy.

And I thought that I could get him.

I think I still can.

Maybe it happens one day in the future.

But I was this honest approach where he was basically saying, we're always a little injured.

We're fighters.

Like, naturally, in training camp, you're going to hurt something.

You're going to tweak something.

Now, granted, you got fucking neurovirus.

This is a little bit different than like your, you know, shoulder sore.

Right.

But like, everybody's dealing with a little shit.

100%.

Look at Connor.

He came into that fight with Dustin Poirier with a broken shin already.

Didn't give a fuck.

Well, he just thought it's not that broken.

Yeah.

He's like, dude, Connor is like reaching final form as a promoter.

It's like he's already so prolific, obviously, as a fighter, et cetera.

But like watching him do the BKFC, I kind of just want to go to see him hype up fights.

Like I want to go to the press conference where he's just like, what was he saying?

He's like, and if you don't win, we're firing you on the spot to Mike Perry.

And Mike's like,

what did I do?

I'm just getting punched in the face.

But he's like chest bumping the guys who were fighting.

He's not even fighting.

It's like Dana calling out the guy.

guy.

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What is entertaining?

I want to watch one of them BKFCs.

And I want to know if it's real or if he's really on the most potent Bolivian marching powder, like the purest of the pure.

Whatever he's on, I need to try it.

Or is it an act?

I mean, maybe he's just duping us all.

What is he saying here?

This guy.

Let me get this.

fighting championship the alien of combat sport and may we rise above the night sky and rain down blows viciously on all our deniers and announce here today that bare local fc has no love for the big club so let's go

let's go florida and let's announce

hold on let me show love for the big club we gotta be the greatest promoter of all that's what i'm saying like we gotta I know a lot of people do Coke, and they're not that entertaining.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

That's charisma.

You gotta have something in you for the Coke to bring it out.

That's why they won't let him run for president in Ireland.

Because it'd be a good thing.

That motherfucker will win.

Imagine that.

That kind of speech in Ireland.

Bro,

he could be the president of Ireland tomorrow.

Bro.

If he wanted to be the president of Ireland, if they let him,

let him go on the campaign tour, let him talk like that.

that in front of packed arenas.

It's all fair.

Come on our podcast, Connor.

We'll make it happen.

Bro, who else can?

Yeah, we control the election.

Just the three of us.

We're the king man.

That's it.

We need to charge more for ads.

We need to charge more for ads since we can decide the fate of the free world.

Only us.

Nothing else happening.

You know what's funny?

Anything bad happens, it's our fault.

And then, like, Trump will like stop a war in the Middle East.

And nobody's going.

Thank you, Joe.

Thank you, Schultz.

Thank you, Theo.

Do you think he stopped?

I think that's a Fagesi stoppage.

I think that he stopped.

I think he stopped what Israel is doing to Gaza for the time being and he got hostages back he got hostages back so it's like

the but the way I look at it is like

I think that you need to give him credit and I like calling balls and strikes bro if he does something I don't like I'm gonna call it out and then people get upset at that shit for some reason they're like oh but how did you not know this was gonna happen it's like oh my god do we not do we not understand that when you vote for somebody they're gonna do some things that you don't like and they're gonna do some things that you do like again there's no nuance on the internet but like

I don't think that this is what Bibi, Net, and Yahoo wanted.

I don't think that, and I think it's what Trump wanted.

I think Trump went, I want to stop it.

And you could make arguments for it, like, oh, he wants to get the Nobel Peace Prize or whatever the fuck you want to say.

But like, he wanted it.

And he created a situation where BB was dependent on him.

Trump's more popular in Israel than BB.

And if Bibi wants re-election, he's got to play nice with Trump.

Really?

100%.

Trump is more popular in Israel than Netanyahu?

100%.

100%.

Whoa.

There was an article in the New Yorker that just said about this.

It's like, Bibi's, I know, I know.

But like, but like, Bibi's political future is dependent on Trump.

Wow.

100%.

So it's like, that's crazy.

They created a situation.

And then he just went around everybody.

Like, it's almost like he's better at government over there where you're dealing with dictators because he could just say, what do you want?

And then they go,

like

some planes.

He goes, all right, we got planes.

I'll give you some planes.

All right, you do this for me.

It's that transactional, and it works on the global stage in that regard.

They got to stop.

Now, granted, it's a deal between Trump, Bibi, and Hamas.

It could go wrong.

Right.

But

it seems to me the only person that got what they wanted out of it, it's not what Hamas wanted.

It's not what Bibi wanted.

And Bibi's folks in government.

It's what Trump wanted.

So I'm like, you got to give credit to where, you know, credit is due, in my personal opinion.

It's like he doesn't, he wasn't wanting any more bloodshed.

He wants to say that he stopped this thing.

Let him rally off some dubs.

You see, Israel bombed Lebanon today?

Well, you got to stop that one.

Yeah.

They did?

Where?

They bombed a weapons depot.

Crazy fireball.

Oh, my goodness.

All right.

Well, we got to put a stop to all that shit.

This was.

Did they say anything about the target, Jamie?

You should see it.

You should see the video.

It's nuts.

Because it's a munitions place.

Oh, so you get the extra.

Bro, look at that.

Yeah, that's

a fireball, man.

I mean, that's crazy.

yeah and there's a bunch of secondary um explosions on the ground right so those secondary explosions are all the munitions going off

Hezbollah yeah

incident marked the latest strikes and almost unbroken pattern of daily Israel attacks on Lebanese territory since the ceasefire deal was struck in November of 2024 after more than a year of fierce hostilities accumulated and two months of open war yeah

yeah man

Bro.

Anyway.

It's like your little brother that keeps dragging you into fights.

It's like, bro.

Come on.

Right?

Like, who are we beefing with?

What are we doing?

Yeah.

But also,

you really don't want him having all those weapons either.

I don't really know, to be honest with you.

But, like, I do think that we're allowed to have an opinion on it.

There's this idea, like, we're not allowed to have opinions.

It's like, we're funding shit.

We get an opinion on it.

Flame is simple.

The idea that we shouldn't have an opinion is ridiculous.

You should always have opinions.

Your opinions could be uninformed.

They're still your opinions.

Like, you're allowed to have opinions.

You're allowed to have the dumbest fucking opinion in the world.

And other people go, that's a really dumb opinion.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're allowed to have opinions.

This idea that you shouldn't talk about opinions, like, shut the fuck up.

Yeah, this is the whole point.

This is why we get to say whatever the fuck we want.

Well, it's like we're the best.

Us and Saudi Arabia.

Yeah.

It's just us and Saudi Arabia, by the way.

We're the best ones, by the way.

Yes.

What was that experience like going over there?

Man, it was like, I've performed in the Middle East before.

You've done a bunch of shows up there.

Yeah, like it's just not.

Everybody make this big thing.

Like, oh my god it's gonna be so crazy blah blah i posted my i told you i like i posted my set because people are saying all this like oh i didn't change anything and all these comics were doing i'm like all right well i'll show you this is what i did you tell me if i took it easy on them you tell me if i cared and people made all this big deal about like oh they made you sign a list of things you can't say and it's just like do you really think the king cares about the clowns coming to the festival like you think he really gives a fuck about that

no like well he would care if it was humiliating it's some middle guy who's like, I don't want to get in trouble.

So I'm going to say, they do that shit anywhere you go.

They did that shit when I was in UAE.

I didn't fucking look at it.

I'll never look at a list once in my life.

I'll perform wherever my fans are.

I don't give a fuck.

Like, that's my take on it.

It's like, I'm going to perform wherever my fans are.

I don't give a fuck what their governments do.

I'm going to perform for my fans.

Simple as that.

That's what it is.

I just happen to have fans over there.

There are a lot of guys who like can't perform outside of Brooklyn who are like, I would never go.

It's like, well, no one was asking you.

Right.

No one's inviting you.

Yeah.

You also don't have to.

Right.

But it might be different if you got like tons of DMs of people going, please come out here.

We've been watching your special.

We've been doing all these things.

You're like, oh, that'd be really awesome to come perform for you guys.

Yeah.

But the idea is you're being paid by a dictator.

Good.

My fans get a discount.

It's not like they didn't, it's not like they didn't have to pay for the tickets.

Do you know what I mean?

Like, there's just a little added on top from the family.

Yeah.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

So it is what it is.

Bro, this comic out there said the funniest shit.

It's fucked up.

He said the funniest shit.

And I was like, yeah, so what do you think about them, you know, you know, chopping up that journalist?

He goes, they chopped up one journalist so women can drive.

Oh, no.

I was dying, bro.

I was, bro, when we were out there, it was so funny.

That is true.

Like, MBS, that's not true.

But it is true that MBS is the

progressive one.

The other guy, the NBM, was the guy who was going to be more conservative.

But yeah, so it's like,

it was so funny because when we were out there, there are chicks driving now, obviously.

You know what I mean?

How are they doing?

Well, we got in one accident, accident, two female drivers.

They're new at it, bro.

So it's like we got out the car, and you could see the look on their faces, the parts of their faces you could see.

And

they were just like, damn, man, everybody's going to know.

And it was, but it's funny, they said, um, they get the girls all like Chinese cars.

And I was like, why do they drive the Chinese cars?

And they're like, it's the cheapest cars.

They're just figuring the shit out.

So they started driving.

Like, imagine you're 50 and you just start driving tomorrow.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, that's crazy.

No, they figured that shit out, but yeah, it was fun, man.

I don't know.

Like, I don't even know if people care because, like, you see this shit online and like everybody feels like they need an opinion on it.

I even see comics going, like, a lot of people have been asking my opinion on it.

So, like, I need to give your fucking opinion.

Have they really been asking?

Like, what are you talking about?

Nobody's asking a fucking opinion.

It's almost to the point where, and then I ask, like, any regular people, they're like, they don't really care because they're watching like the six best tennis guys perform in Saudi this weekend.

And golfers and racists.

And UFC and boxing and everything.

So it's just like, how much do you?

And they just put a billion dollars into like a Hollywood movie studio.

Uh-oh.

So I'm like, I'm screenshotting.

Everybody who talks shot, I'm screenshotting because I'm waiting for you to do a movie with it.

I'm waiting.

I'm petty.

I don't forget.

You forgive.

You know what I mean?

You have somebody on your pod who had someone on their pod talking shit.

You're better than me.

Yeah.

You're better than me.

You got to be able to just let things go.

I can't wait for Gavin Newsome to go on Bad Friends.

I want to see the I'm distancing myself from the Rogansphere tour.

First stop, Bad Friends.

That's hilarious.

I thought that was corny.

Yeah.

I thought it was corny.

Yeah, we talked about that.

I don't know.

It is what it is.

You're more forgiving.

There's no time that you should, in my mind, no time that you should be spending on these kind of conflicts it's like pointless it's wasted energy yeah but it's fun to talk some shit well you know when when I decided um to talk shit about Marin was after the Theo thing after Theo kind of went off the rails yeah and Theo went off the rails right after Marin put him in his special Yeah, you know you know my issue with that joke in the special it was just like what Twitter says Uh-huh.

It wasn't even like a creative angle.

It was just like literally what every tweet would say.

Meanwhile, it was one of the funniest jokes he's ever made because it's a pressure of a really funny guy.

Exactly.

Yeah, you got to rely on Theo's impression.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But yeah, I just, I don't know.

Like my whole thing with Marin is like, I think that like people outside of comedy have this idea of him, but like everybody inside comedy knows he's a piece of shit and they've known it for years.

And like this is not just like us.

No.

You know, like.

There's that, I mean, there's that great like Jon Stewart story about their thing, which is like, I don't even know what people know, but like John took that MTV show and Marin like ripped him for how you sell out, you pieces, how dare you do it.

And then when John leaves to go do another show, guess who takes over that same show?

Marin.

That's who we're dealing with.

So it's like, it's one of these things where like inside the game, we all know who the pieces of shit are and we just go, uh, we roll our eyes.

This is how Mark Maron works.

He sees you get successful.

He feels bad.

So he comes up with a reason why you're bad.

Exactly.

And he'll find some like intellectualization of it to justify his bitterness.

You want to know what he hit me with with Fear Factor?

What do you say?

You're taking jobs away from comedians who would be writing on sitcoms.

What?

How is that?

Because I'm doing a

reality show.

So the reality show, which is number one show in the country,

if it didn't exist.

That was a Trump moment right there.

Number one.

It was the best.

But when the idea was that somehow or another, this is stealing.

It's the dumbest justification.

He just answered.

You You didn't look at it at all.

You didn't have any insight.

You didn't like step back and go, okay, let me reflect on this.

It doesn't make any sense.

Because it doesn't make any sense because those people are doing a job outside of comedy.

Exactly.

Just like me.

I'm doing a job outside of comedy, too.

But you can't even give it any credence.

It's like the guy, every criticism he has, he's guilty of.

Like, he's like, how dare you have presidents on the pod and have fun with them?

And it's like, you had Obama before anybody.

You started this.

You didn't ask Obama anything about fucking drone strikes or whatever.

And frankly, and I love Obama.

I just want to point that that out.

Like, I actually really do.

And I know there's probably fucked up shit that anybody in power got to do, but like, I genuinely, I liked him.

I love him as a statesman.

I think he was the best statesman we've ever had.

You just felt good.

Yeah.

You just felt good.

You felt like he's a great representative of America.

100%.

As intelligent and measured as anybody who's ever held the office.

Better than anybody.

Like, Clinton, when he was young, was really good.

I think Obama was another level.

Yes.

I think Obama was another level.

Anyway, so, but it's like, yeah, you did it.

You did the thing.

You did the exact same thing.

Talk all this shit about, like, oh, we just had him on recently.

He didn't ask him anything.

Of course he did.

Anything like,

would you have repealed the Smith-Munt Act?

But is there the consequences of it?

No, nothing else.

Of course not.

Because we know, because we're inside.

Well, this is the thing.

He like positions himself as this intellectual, but he doesn't say anything interesting.

Yeah, I think that's true.

There's nothing that guy ever says where I'm like, wow, that's a unique insight.

That's a thing.

I fucking never.

It's childish with a good vocabulary.

No, I think

he's a smart guy.

I think he's probably smarter than he is funny.

I think that drives him crazy.

Yeah, but he's also too obsessed with himself to be reflective enough to understand why other people don't like him.

Wait, you're saying the guy who talks by himself for five minutes before the president comes on?

15 minutes?

If it wasn't for Fast Forward, there would be no Marin Podcasts.

Yeah.

And that was the first time.

Just the rant.

Exactly.

Just the rant.

Imagine.

But anyway, so it's just like...

The rant is what killed the show, by the way.

If he didn't have the rant, he probably wouldn't be like bottom 200.

I think, I think, better shows came out, and it's just like, that's just the nature of it.

There's that too, but it's also like, he's not that good at talking to people.

He's not nice.

So, I don't know.

My whole feeling about it is just like, we know, like, we know who the pieces of shit are in our industry.

Right.

And like, we're aware of it because we've seen them from the jump.

Like, if I'm sitting down with a comedian, right?

And like, this is why I don't fuck with a lot of them.

It's like, if you immediately start talking shit about your co-host to me when I'm sitting down with you, like, I got to start questioning your integrity a little bit.

It's like, that's your boy.

Like, why are you shit talking your boy to me?

Right.

So it's, yeah, but you saw it.

A lot of these guys, man, you saw it.

You saw a lot of these guys.

And it's like, I think a lot of this is just salvation, to be honest with you.

Yeah.

It's like they see an internet trend.

And I think that like, like right now, there's this internet trend.

Oh, the fucking manosphere, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And I think I see guys.

who

you were very generous to like you lent your platform your millions of followers the biggest show on the planet, helped them make tons of money, helped them really have success, build their own platforms.

And now they see like an internet trend about like the manosphere, whatever.

And I see guys like trying to create a little separation.

I see all of a sudden it's like, yeah, you, you, you use this guy to make millions of dollars and get all these fans.

And now you see online outrage and you're like, oh, no, that's them.

That's not me.

It's like, you had no problem being part of the Avengers.

You know what I mean?

You had no problem being in the photos.

You had no problem before.

And now you see a little shit going on.

You separate.

I feel like that's the moment you double down for your boy.

That's the moment you go, I know that person, what people are saying about him isn't real,

and you refute that.

That's what I would do.

I mean, whatever.

There's a lot of cowards out there in the world.

And it's just they're scared.

They're scared.

And this is like a time of

real attacks.

Like in the past, like say in the 90s or something like that, if you supported Andrew Dice Clay or something like that, like you didn't really get any heat.

Nobody cared.

You could do an interview and you're like, I think Dice is hilarious.

You wouldn't like lose sponsors.

You wouldn't, nothing would happen.

But now there'll be like an organized campaign to try to take you out.

Oh, yeah.

With bots.

Yeah.

People don't even think the bots thing are.

You can pay for it.

You can hire them.

And why?

And there's other countries that are involved in that shit, too.

Not to be like, it's not even conspiratorial, but like, I think a little bit, that's what the Comedy Festival, the Rihanna thing was a little bit.

Probably.

Because it was so peculiar.

It's like they're so, they're already so entrenched into like our entertainment.

And then all of a sudden we went out.

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Sometimes something gets a little bit of buzz, and then people send the bots to create a little friction or separation.

And then people hop on board.

Exactly.

They lie on.

They have to because they see their device there.

I had Palmer Lucky on the podcast yesterday, and he was discussing that.

He was discussing these like organized campaigns, what he said, affecting people's minds.

Well, it's just that this is part of what China does to keep us at each other's throats.

It's literally a strategy.

And people are so stupid that they're going to let a 30-second TikTok dictate their opinions about the world.

They're not fact-checking.

They're not doing anything about it.

And there are people that consider themselves journalists that will do it.

100%.

Like, there's this little Nepo baby.

He's like Kennedy's grandkid or some shit like that.

That was talking all the shit about it.

And one thing he said is that, like, because I called him a Nepo baby, because he never had a job.

I don't care if your dad is, but if you never had a real job, like, you know, like, what the, why are you telling people who have real jobs what to do and how they should vote and what they should do with their lives?

Like, you don't know how much the electric costs are.

Yeah, you're your child.

And then he goes, oh, Schultz is

married into the Turner dynasty.

Like, my wife's maiden name is Turner.

He thinks that my wife's family is like Turner, Ted Turner.

Like, this is...

This is a guy who his job is journalist.

He calls himself a journalist, and he couldn't even do the bare minimum.

He saw another TikTok that said something that's completely untrue.

The Turner dynasty.

I mean, it'd be nice.

Fuck.

Let's go, Ted.

Cough it up if you've been hiding.

But, like, this is the level, this is the level of discourse.

And then that shit hits TikTok, and then people start repeating things.

Like, there's just so much fake shit.

Well, the dumb thing is you were already rich when you got married.

The dumb thing is not her family.

It's not her family, but even if it was, if you married the child of a rich family, you were already rich.

It was stupid.

Yeah.

It's stupid.

Like, this is why he made it.

No, no, no, bitch.

He was already famous.

Shut the fuck up.

It just doesn't make any sense.

And you see these narratives, they take hold, and then they just become reality.

Uh-huh.

And it's one of those things, like, you can't fight the internet.

No.

You know, it's just like people say things, and then they just become

They like they just become reality.

It's like fascinating.

And like, I've seen it happen with you.

And then I think that there's like, there's obviously these different levels in comedy.

So you don't imagine it happening to yourself, and then you're in it.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

And yeah, it's just wild, man.

It's just wild.

Like,

like, there's a, there's this, there's, these people who say that, like, uh, I remember when I bought back the special, and then I, then I sold it.

Yes.

And then they're like, he sold it.

And then he put it out on YouTube.

It's like, there's literally a video of me going, if you can't afford it, steal it.

And if you can't figure out how to steal it, I'll put it up on YouTube.

It's like, I can't be more clear.

Right.

But it's a way funnier narrative to be like, oh, this is what happened, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

It's just like, guys, he got your money and then he put it up for free on YouTube.

And then he's got more money.

I'm saying steal it if you can't afford it.

And then I'm going to put it up on YouTube in the future.

And it's like, what do I do in that situation?

Listen, man, I went to see SpaceX launch.

on Monday.

Jamie and I went down there.

We went down to South Texas, watched the rocket launch.

It's one of the most impressive things I've ever seen in my life.

I got a tour of the SpaceX facility.

One of the most impressive things I've ever seen in my life.

I sat with Elon in the command studio where they're going over the rocket as it's flying to Australia.

We watched it live using Starlink satellites, 60 different fucking cameras of everything,

monitoring every single aspect of the internal pressure of the chambers and all these different things.

And then I was watching a video of someone calling him a fuckwit.

I think he's a fuckwit.

This guy was like, I think he's a fuckwit.

His rockets keep blowing up.

Like, the rockets are literally blowing up on purpose because they're testing the parameter.

They're testing what are the tolerances of these structures.

Oh, so they're pushing the limit to 100%.

He's like, we know we're going to blow some up.

But they can produce rockets so much faster than NASA.

And you think he's a fuckwit?

But it doesn't matter.

It's not real.

Like, I saw comedians

say that he was a Nazi.

He's a Nazi because he said, my heart goes out to you.

Yeah, yeah.

Because he did the thing that they all do.

Right, right, right.

It looked crazy.

It looked crazy.

It looked crazy, but very aggressive.

Doing the thing doesn't make you a Nazi.

No.

Believing what Nazis believe makes you a Nazi.

And I think that's the separation.

I think they're like...

Once you have an idea of somebody, you can't wait to confirm it.

And the internet is full of 30-second clips that will confirm whatever you believe.

100%.

And they will be sent right to your phone.

Like, this is what I've been thinking about recently.

It's like, remember when like cigarettes came out or even like fast food?

When we were growing up, was fast food unhealthy?

It was just food.

It was just food.

We just ate it as food.

This generation knows that it's unhealthy.

They don't stop eating it, but at least they're aware, right?

They know the nutrition facts.

We're about to go through what I think is like

that with internet content.

Yes.

If a video gets sent to your phone from an account you don't follow, the immediate reaction should be like, this is a Big Mac.

I'll indulge in it, but it's not nutritious.

Right.

Do you know what I mean?

Like, there's a reason why it's being sent, right?

It's going to confirm whatever biases I have.

It's either going to scare me or it's going to make me really happy.

There's going to be this dopamine release.

And I think that we need to start realizing that.

Like, the second I see any video on the internet now, outside of peanut butter, peanut butter I love.

Love my man peanut butter.

But like I'm I'm immediately skeptical.

I'm like, what exactly is happening here?

Why is this being sent to me?

What is this confirming?

Like, that's my immediate reaction.

I think that the next generation, at least kids, will definitely look at things like that.

I hope.

I think a big factor is podcasts because we talk about this stuff and they might not be talking about it with their friends.

Their friends might not know.

And so what we're talking about, like, don't trust everything.

You need to understand a lot of this is outrage farming.

They're doing it on purpose and they're doing it specifically to try to get us at each other's throats.

Don't fall into it.

Don't be a sucker.

Don't be a sucker.

Or there's people that are like, they're just doing it because they need views and clicks.

And that's something that I realized is like, there's this like, there's this like beautiful little time in comedy where like you're everybody's hero, right?

Because you're the unsung hero.

Like everybody feels like they're the only ones that know about you.

And they are the only ones that know what you're doing.

And like everybody's riding.

And then you do eventually, some people, if you're lucky enough and fortunate fortunate enough to transcend it where like your name can be part of pop culture and the benefit of that is like you get to provide for your family you get to live your dreams you get do arenas it's amazing there's a negative that we have to put up with i'm not complaining it's awesome but like the negative is your name can be attached to any story your picture is attached to any story like

Bro, I saw there was a video on the internet where it was like Joe Rogan

ripping on his guests and it's a picture of me and you.

And I'm like, when the fuck did this happen?

Like, you know, I watched the video we ain't even in it together yeah all the time it's you I see that it's you and like what the guy who was who didn't understand like if if you're born a man or a woman I forget what it was

but it's like that guy's face isn't gonna get clicks right me and you

homies going at it it's gonna right so it's like

that is the internet in a microcosm and I'm not saying that like you need to I'm I believe maybe more personal accountability like I'm not saying we should make the internet change what it is.

The internet's going to be what it is.

We just got to be aware of what we're consuming.

Don't ban fast food.

Just be aware that when you eat a Big Mac, you might not feel as good as when you eat a fucking chicken salad.

It's not healthy, but have fun.

You want to watch like Colombian assassinations and grainy security video cameras?

Have at it.

Have at it.

I like it too.

I like to watch.

I mean, I look at my phone.

It's mostly like assassinations and tits.

Bro, the amazing thing about it is like

nobody thinks they have radical thoughts because they're so normalized

by every video confirming your thought.

So it's like, I used to think like Lycan Feet was unique.

You know what I mean?

I scroll on Instagram for a little bit and I'm like, we're all into this.

There's refined cultural people out there.

And I think that's it with every political idea.

That's it with every cultural idea.

We are 100% rewarded in what we think.

And then people say shit out loud.

And then it becomes like a crazy story.

Yes,

yeah.

I honestly, I think that's what happened to a lot of folks with Riyadh is that, like, there was a lot of comics that were in that like stage before pop culture, and they got their first experience of like internet backlash because they like Jessica Curse on Jessica, who's fucking hilarious.

Hilarious, like, like literally hilarious.

I've had her on a bunch of times, a lover, lesbian, very funny, Jewish, super nice person, apparently, crushed out there.

Yeah, I heard she got a standing ovation, crushed, Yeah.

Okay.

And like, to me, I'm like, I've maybe made a different view of these things.

It's like, I think that, like, Western culture is so addictive.

Like, once you get a taste of this shit, like, this is what you want.

And I think there's a version of looking at this thing where like in 10 years later, they go, yeah, we need to...

we need to have more of this and we need to have more people making fun of us and we have more people making fun of themselves and this is beautiful like cultural exchange.

That maybe that's like looking through rose-colored glasses, but that's how I look at these things.

Yeah.

And I'm going,

and then she's like, she's experiencing that backlash because she never has.

And I think she goes, I toiled in obscurity for decades being hilarious, but not having a fan base.

I finally got one.

And then you feel that internet backlash.

You think that's real.

And you're like, oh, my God, I'm going to lose everything that I've always dreamed.

I need to address this.

When in reality, if you put your head down for two weeks, goes away.

Nobody will care.

Yeah.

There's a tenant.

That's Chris Rock's quote.

What does he say?

I've heard somebody say something similar like that.

He says, I thought you told me that, actually.

I thought you said, like, I just don't look at my phone.

Well, I don't.

I don't.

But Chris's take on it was wait two weeks before you respond to anything Yeah, and most likely to blow away if it's still around after two weeks then address make a comedy special about it

He kind of milked it in the best way because if you think about it He got to tour that thing for a year and everybody was showing up to those shows because they're like, oh, I need to say

people were filming it though.

That was the problem.

Like some people pulled out their fucking phone and ruined the fun.

Yeah.

But I get why he's like, I might as well tour the shit.

I'm not going to just address it right now.

Let's go.

Also, cook it.

Like, make sure that bit is fucking, you got the right seasoning in there.

You get that fucking thing over the stove.

Make that sundae sauce, baby.

Let's go.

Make that ragu.

Let's go.

Yeah.

It's a, it's a, it's a weird time for comedy, man.

It's a fun time for comedy.

Ari Shapir said it best.

What'd he say?

He said, comedy's dangerous again.

Yeah.

This is what Ari loves.

He loves chaos.

That silly motherfucker, he loves when things go side.

I love chaos too, but not that much.

He likes when the city burns down because he'll put out a backpack and go to Asia.

Yeah, he gets to just dip.

He really dips.

He's dipped right now.

I don't know where he is.

He's hiding somewhere in the world.

He'll dip for like three, four months, throws his phone away.

He ruins our text message thread because we got to protect our parks.

He turned the whole thing green.

So I opened up a new text message thread.

It's called Fuck Ari.

So it's just me and Norman and Shane.

It's like

he's a legit wild boy, but he said it right.

He said comedy's dangerous again.

And it is dangerous, but it's only dangerous if you let it be.

Like for people like Jessica, I wish she had talked to me.

I would have said, don't listen to anybody.

Don't read the comments.

Fuck those people.

What you're doing is the Lakota people had a term called the Hayoka.

And a Hayoka was a special member of society that made fun of everybody.

It was an important part of their culture.

He made fun of the chief.

He made fun of the chief's wife.

He made fun of everyone.

And the idea was if you couldn't mock something, that it was bullshit.

And so he was stress testing all of these different things.

So that was a, it was called a sacred clown.

That was their definition of what a Hayoka is.

This is like built into American culture.

It's like American culture specifically.

It's like why I want Trump to do the, what's that little like news disc?

Yeah, White House press correspondence.

Correspondence.

It's like, why I want him to do it?

Because, look, we have a relationship with government in America that from its inception is antagonistic.

Yes.

Right?

Like, we fought the war because we're like, you don't get to tell us what to do.

And then we set up systems of government that basically stop one person from telling us what to do.

And then we have this great thing where once a year, the guy who's in charge, the most powerful guy, gets humbled in front of all of us.

And it's this beautiful thing that is like uniquely American.

I know there's somebody right now who's in France, we've been doing this forever, shut the fuck up.

To me, it's uniquely us.

It's our thing.

And I love the idea of like humbling our heroes.

It's why roasts work.

It's by seeing like Tom Brady, whoever it was, like on the roast.

And the more powerful, the more successful, the more that they've got, we like that kind of humbling because we have that antagonistic relationship with the people in charge or even our heroes.

It's a beautiful fucking thing.

And afterwards, we kind of embrace those people even more.

We appreciate that you were taken to your knees, if you will, in that moment.

Did you ever see when Jeff Ross on Comedy Central, they roasted Trump?

Yeah, I've seen the obvious eclipse.

He had a conversation with Trump.

What he said.

He said, hey, when they're going after you, just laugh.

You got to laugh.

You got to smile.

If they look over at you and you got a serious look on your face, it's not good.

He's like, okay, yeah, you're right.

He realized.

He's like, yeah, you got to.

You got to let it go.

You got to let it go.

You got to let it go.

And, you know, that's the White House press correspondence today.

You got to be able to let it go.

Let it go.

Let it rip.

Make fun of them.

Make fun of everybody.

Make fun of the press corps.

But it's this beautiful, humbling thing.

But the thing about Trump is like the White House press correspondence thing is literally why he became president in the first place.

Yeah, I remember that.

When Obama was like, here's one thing that I am that you'll never be president of the United States.

I mean, if that's how it works, Trump will never have free health care.

You know, you just gotta, you'll never do that.

I promise you.

Yeah.

You'll never stop every war.

Right.

That's what you have to do.

Yeah.

You have to challenge them.

But yeah, I just, I think, I think those things are really important.

I just think they're important, like, cultural institutions for us specifically.

It doesn't work the same in other places that don't have that kind of antagonistic relationship with government.

Right.

There are places that they just do not have it.

Like, they actually have like a really grateful and appreciative relationship.

Or their government doesn't have any free speech laws.

Like England.

Like, what England's going through right now is correct.

That's the thing I was trying to tell people is like when people keep talking about free speech, it's like, stop acting like that's the norm.

We're the unique ones.

Yes.

In Canada, they don't have free speech.

They have free freedom of expression or something like that.

Yeah, but it's carved out with like certain things like hate crimes or hate speech.

I mean,

hate speech is weird because it's very subjective.

Who defines it?

What's hate?

Exactly.

Right?

So it's like, and I remember when them truckers were protesting, they were freezing the accounts.

Like,

there's just,

yeah.

it's just a uniquely you know American thing, which is amazing, and we need to like protect it at all.

100%, and we need to protect it and propagate it through the world.

And that's why we should get upset when England starts cracking down on free speech because that's a disease.

And if that disease spreads, and if England falls, and all of a sudden England is essentially a totalitarian dictatorship, if they're a totalitarian dictatorship, we're in real fucking trouble, man.

I don't think we are, but I get what that logic.

Like, I get this idea that like things aren't right now.

No, no, I mean like even, I hear what you're saying.

Like and trends do build steam and then people ask for it and they see how things are working.

I get that.

Like I think that makes sense like functionally in the world.

You know what I mean?

But like my shit is like I care about American free speech.

That's what I go for.

I'm an American.

I want us to be all good.

If the other countries want to get on board with it, all right, get on board with it.

That'd be great.

The problem is they bring that shit over here.

Just like when people

let me tell you something, in the night, like 2015, 16, when I started talking shit about college campuses, people are like, What are you worried about these kids on college campuses with these Marxist ideas?

I was like, They're gonna graduate.

Like,

I'm a person who sees like where things are moving, which is why I got out of California so early.

I was like, I see where this is going.

You got to get the fuck out now.

This is not good.

And I'm like, They're going to get out of this school and they're going to start working for corporations, and it's going to flood the country.

They're going to be

nonsensical ideas.

Make them positions of power, 100%.

100%.

And like, these corporations are going to bend to whatever makes them the most money.

Which is why it's dangerous if England goes.

If England goes,

if England completely falls, they just passed the digital, or they're trying to force the digital ID on people, and they have arrested 12,000 people for social media posts, and some of them are just critical about the amount of immigration that's coming in, and they're putting them in jail for this.

So if that is a trend and that starts spreading through Europe and they lock those people down, because those people don't have guns, they don't have free speech laws, they don't have any of the things that protect us.

Yeah, so you're worried about them in terms of it becoming a trend and then impacting us.

Exactly, because if it becomes a trend for the entire world and we're the only, and they're like, the problem, the consequences of free speech is an unsafe society.

We have to protect the marginalized groups.

You know how that ends?

That ends with a military dictatorship, and all those people that help them get into play, all those leftists, they all get killed because they're the people that are going to resist the government having this kind of tyrannical power that they helped them get in the first place.

That's what Castro did, that's what they all do.

They use the leftists to get into positions of power, and then once they take over,

they kill everybody.

Fuck you.

Okay, that's a fair argument that

you're bringing out, how it could impact us.

It's a wolf with a grandma outfit on.

Yeah, yeah.

That's what it is.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's big mama's house.

Yeah, it's

Tyler Perry presents.

Marxism for Americans.

But no, I hear that because I guess my initial thing initially was like, yo, if you guys want free speech, fight for it.

Like, we fought for it.

Like, people shed blood for it.

They constantly are fighting for it non-stop.

You guys go fight for it.

Vote those people out first.

Don't vote those.

No, no, no.

I don't mean.

That's what the problem is.

If I say that, then they'll say, I meant before, like, America, like, as a nation state, has constantly fought to maintain this thing and went through incredibly difficult times to do it because it's like a core tenant to our belief and our identity.

And if other countries want that, they have to put in that same effort through politics.

I'm not saying go be violent or anything, right?

But the way we fought for it was like, we fall on it.

We banged out.

It was like, yeah.

Banged out.

It got rough.

But we're wild boys.

That's why I'm not worried about it.

We are the collection of the craziest people on the planet.

Bro, England used to be the wildest motherfuckers on Earth.

One island took took over most of the world.

And now they're just arguing with wigs on.

Like, what the fuck happened?

Like, does this happen every country?

Did you see the guy with the wig that sentenced the guy to 20 months of custodial service?

Yeah, the little George.

Because he was complaining about immigrants.

Have you seen that video?

No.

But it is the craziest video because it's 2025 or 2024.

And it's a guy wearing a wig who's sentencing a guy for a 20-month sentence who just made a post criticizing immigrants?

Yeah, well, what was he saying about the immigrants?

Well, he was talking about these gangs of guys are coming in from the places they bomb the fuck out of because that's the real problem.

Why would they be worried about it?

Listen, you got to listen to this guy.

See if you can find that video of that guy.

Because it's him wearing the wig is so crazy.

Yeah.

And while he's saying something that's so insane in the age of the internet, and it's on TikTok.

This is like...

Oh, I don't care what what they cut out of it.

Like, just him saying it, I don't care what context it is.

He's reading off the guy's tweets and then saying, because of what you said, I have no choice but to sentence you to jail.

Yeah.

People to participate in attacks on

hotel housing asylum seekers.

Comments that encouraged was over comments that encouraged every man and their dog should be smashing the fuck at a Britannia hotel.

The judge quotes one of his parlor posts responding to a user who said, I'm down if you are a lad, so that he was starting

violence.

Yes.

I mean, don't tell people to go hurt people.

Your motivation became clear when you informed the police you promoted the idea of attacking the Britannia hotel as a result of anger and frustration and immigration problems in the country.

So what was his post though?

Oh, this is you want to say that you do not want your money going to immigrants who rape our kids and get priority.

The judge later said the overall effect of your post was to incite violence toward the building and therefore towards those in the hotel.

It was not only the refugees and asylum seekers who were likely to be affected by your post, but also the hotel managers, the night porters, and those who worked within the hotel.

That's actually reasonable.

That in that case, I see what you're saying.

I don't, yeah, so incitement to violence is illegal even in America, right?

Like it's like...

It's a different thing than just freedom of speech.

Yeah.

So that's that is different.

Yeah, yeah, but it doesn't tell people to hurt people.

The guy wearing the wig.

yeah, it makes it look insane.

It's like, what, what, why, like, you have to have a special outfit for me to take you seriously because if you're just like a regular guy, and you're saying, uh, you were inciting violence, yeah, and then the guy would go, yeah, but do you know what the people in that hotel did?

Yeah, but let me tell you what they've done.

Let me tell you, those guys have raped underage girls, they have grooming gangs, they live there, they're getting priority, they're getting paid our money, they're on the dole.

Like, you could even have a conversation.

This guy's yelling out to the abyss on parlor because he doesn't know where else to go.

And this guy's going, well, the solution to that is I put you in a cage.

Look at that.

It was on his wig.

Put the thing on so you can hear this.

Of the tax us hard-working people earn when it could be put to better use.

Come over here

with no work visa, no trade to their name, and sit down and dos.

And then there's more people being put out homeless each year.

They get top band priority on housing.

You went on to say that you did not want your money going to immigrants who, quote, rape our kids and get priority, end quote.

Although you said that you had no intention of carrying out any act of violence, there can be no doubt that you were inciting others to do so.

Otherwise,

why post the comment?

You expressed remorse, but by that time it was too late.

For the offence of publishing written material in order to stir up racial hatred, there are sentencing guidelines which I must and will follow.

The maximum sentence is seven years' imprisonment.

In my judgment, this comes close to harm category one.

However, for the purposes of this sentence, I will treat you as falling into category two,

since there was no direct encouragement towards activity which threatens or endangers life.

However, you fall towards the top of category two.

For a category two A offence, the starting point is two years' imprisonment with a range between one and four years custody.

In mitigation, I take into account your plea of guilty, for which you will receive full credit of one-third following your earlier admissions.

I take account of the contents of the references from your mother, friend, and employer.

These can only be of limited value in the current circumstances, as can the contents of the pre-sentence report.

I take account too of your expression of remorse, your lack of convictions which are racially aggravated.

As is recognised on your behalf, this offence is so serious that an immediate custodial sentence is unavoidable.

The sentence that I pass has been reduced by one-third to reflect your guilty plea.

The sentence is one of 20 months' imprisonment.

In response to

this is tricky because the guy did incite violence, but

you shouldn't be doing it.

You shouldn't be doing it.

I think a lot of people are very naive of what the impact of a post, if they're an anonymous person,

they're very naive of how that's going to be perceived.

And, you know, they're just venting like they would be venting at the barbershop.

Right.

If they're hanging out at the barbershop, like, fuck those people.

Someone should go over there and kick their ass.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

People are looking for

people also looking for community.

They're looking to feel like validated in their beliefs.

Like it also pretty is pretty wild that these people are coming over to Europe and even to America as a direct result of military campaigns.

So that's the other thing I found so funny is that like they're not going over there because where they live is awesome.

And like there's reasons why it's not awesome.

And there needs to be a little accountability for that.

Like I heard even like British comedians, they were like, you know, shitting on

doing the Saudi or even like shows in the Middle East.

And they're like,

they employ people at slave wages, et cetera, to build it.

And it's just like, guys, I wonder what happened.

I wonder what country did something to India back in the day that created a scenario where those people might have to leave their country to get a job to afford to provide food for their whole families back in India.

I wonder what country might have plundered India and stripped it of all of its wealth for fucking, I don't even know how long, that created this scenario.

Like, you can't just remove yourself from that.

Have you ever read that book about that one corporation?

Yeah, what is it?

The

basically that turned India into a country, like a factory, essentially.

Well, what was it?

Was that not a.

God, I forget the name of it.

I read the book a while ago.

I saw like a YouTube video on this.

Well, I should say I listened to it.

I listened to the book a while ago.

I can't remember the name of the corporation.

Tame, you got to hold us down.

It is a

crazy story, though.

And that's England.

So

you guys, your ancestor did it.

You know, it's the chickens have come home to roost.

Yeah.

It doesn't mean that you have to be okay with it.

No, you have to at least be understanding of like how this scenario was created.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But it's also clearly they're letting them in.

And they're letting them in.

And the thing is, like, oh, we've got to do something to stop this violence.

Now we have rise of East India Company.

That's it.

The anarchy.

The relentless rise rise of the East India Company.

Crazy book.

Oh, dude.

And it's all

real.

Like what fucking Leopold did to the Congo.

Oh, God.

It's like 25 million people.

Oh, God.

Yeah.

The Congo thing is nuts, man, because a bunch of these settlers thought that they were going to live in the Congo and they set up these beautiful mansions.

It just swallowed it up.

Yeah, it's amazing.

Yeah.

It just let them know you're not welcome.

One of the truly wild places in the world.

There's still images of these places, these like

Elizabethan, is that the type of architecture?

That are just completely swallowed up.

Swallowed by the jungle.

And what's crazy is the wildest part of the world is where we need to go to get the minerals to make the batteries in your cell phone.

Maybe that's why it's the wildest.

No, no, no, it was always wild.

It's wild because it's like inhospitable.

I mean, they have the largest chimpanzees in the world there.

They have those bondo apes there in the Congo, this place called Beeley.

They have this one subset of chimpanzees that's really large, and they call them lion killers.

They have two different types of chimps that the locals describe tree beaters and lion killers.

Lion killers, they sleep on the ground like gorillas.

They don't give a fuck.

They don't have to hide in trees.

They're like, come get me, bitch.

They're like six foot tall, upright chimpanzees.

Like, you know that Michael Crichton book, Congo?

Do you ever

know?

They made a movie.

Crichton's Jurassic Park.

Yes.

Crichton made a movie.

It was kind of a goofy movie about the Congo.

And the Congo, in the movie, there's these like gray chimpanzees that are huge.

And obviously that's not real.

But that's what they're based on.

But it's based on this one subset of chimpanzees.

It actually has a crest on its skull like a gorilla.

So, you know, gorillas have such large mandible because all they eat is vegetables that they have this.

This is the Michael Crichton movie.

It was kind of goofy.

Look at these big silly gorillas.

Oh, wow.

And they fucked this dude up.

They look so bad.

Oh, wow.

But the book is a lot better.

But in reality, there's a thing called a Bondo Ape.

And there's a, a I guess is a Swedish or Swiss wildlife photographer named Carl Armand who became obsessed with this animal and started catching it in camera traps.

And there were photos of these guys at see if you can find the photo of the guys at the airport where they shot one.

So these guys, look at this, these guys, but that's not it.

No, no, no.

The one the one above it.

No, no, no, yeah, that's it.

That's it.

Look at the size of that fucking thing.

Look at the size of that thing.

It's like a gorilla-sized chimpanzee.

And there's different photos of them on camera traps where they're

tagged, I think.

Or a gorilla.

But they have video of these things now.

They know that they're a subset of chimpanzees.

That's not a really big one.

It looks like it's just a big chimp.

But the idea is that this place is like rugged.

I mean, this is

leopards and the...

But like, Joe, there's a lot of rugged places.

I just feel like when there's a place that's resource wi rich, there's going to be a lot of conflict around that.

Oh, 100.

Well, that's the Amazon, too.

Same kind of situation.

Like, really wild, pristine jungle, and then people are hacking it down because they want to make cattle farms and, you know, log.

But like, isn't it to the best interests of the parties that are invested in the resources there for there not to be social cohesion?

Like, it's easier to manage if everybody's fighting, because if there is social cohesion, you have a situation like, what is it, Rhodesia, which just just basically goes, hey, we're going to be a great country, by the way, and we're going to take back our mining rights, and we're going to make sure that we own our resources, and then we're going to educate our people, and we're going to have a high GDP.

There's a pretty amazing story that's tied into it.

And they're like, okay, well, we can't let that happen in the Congo.

We got to keep this shit a little bit chaotic.

Yes.

Because aren't there like, especially with the battery stuff, aren't there like only nine different mines for that?

And like China owns seven or something.

Something like that.

I don't know how many mines there are, but China china owns a bunch of them and you know that's uh siddharth kara wrote a book on it he came in and he got undercover footage that shows these people with babies on their back pulling cobalt out of the ground with like a mask over their face like a bandana to protect themselves from the toxic fumes i'm performing that next week

i look forward to david cross's blog about it

My favorite post.

The people who are not invited and don't have to even go, but I really wouldn't.

It's like, like, he probably wouldn't.

David probably wouldn't, you know?

But

there's a thing.

I remember when David Cross wrote a letter to Larry the Cable guy.

He was shitting on Larry the Cable guy in like an open letter.

And then at the bottom of the post, it was like from New York City.

He signed it like from New York City.

David Cross.

I saw him getting upset that Norman farted on his podcast.

That Mark Norman farted.

Yeah, and like telling him that a fart isn't funny.

And I'm just like, once I see you do that, I'm just like, well, first of all, Norman is funny, period.

So if he's funny and he also farts, okay, who cares?

Well, also, farts are funny.

And Norman said it, he's like, that wasn't a joke.

That was not funny.

And the Norman goes, a sound came out of my butt.

That's always funny.

It's funny when a baby does it.

It's funny when an adult does it.

It is the funniest.

What are we fucking talking about?

Like, obviously.

It's funny.

It's funny because you're like, oh, no.

And then he just dropped the N-word on the pod and not Norman cross.

And then Norman's like, Norman's like, you're going to cut that out?

He's like, no, you don't have to cut it out.

It has the A-H.

And it's like, oh, well, thank you, white guy.

You tell us what N-words we're allowed to say.

Yeah, yeah.

You can tell us where the comedians are not allowed to perform, but

you tell the black community what N-words you're allowed to say.

Yeah.

It's kind of hilarious.

You know, there's a hard N-word in Bob Dylan's Hurricane.

I got a song, The Hurricane.

I got a song.

About Ruben Carter.

I got a little hurricane story.

You want to hear?

Really?

Yeah.

You met that guy?

No.

My dad interviewed his lawyer.

Reuben Carter's lawyer?

Yeah.

Really?

And

his lawyer says,

off the record?

My dad goes, yeah.

He goes, he did that shit.

I probably shouldn't even say that.

I probably shouldn't even say it right now.

But the lawyer just tells my dad.

Bob Dylan just made it all racial.

He did it.

Yeah, that's hilarious.

Who knows?

Maybe the Lord's wrong.

Or maybe he's right.

Maybe he's right.

Good song.

Didn't they have a movie about it?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

And in the movie, there's like a really racist cop that's like targeting him through the whole movie.

And apparently the guy was a total construct.

Oh, really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There wasn't like one cop who was like really interested.

He was chasing him.

They used it as a vehicle to push the storyline, which I always think is gross when you're doing something about a historical person.

Yeah.

I think that's gross.

Yeah.

But if you're going to be able to do that.

If you have an obligation, though, if you're making a movie about a historical person, you can't have a character that moves your plot along that didn't exist.

I mean, because now you're changing history for a lot of dumbasses who don't read a book.

I mean, that's what the people who.

Which is most of us.

That's what the people who fucking,

you know, dictate what history is.

Sort of, but they're just doing it to make the movie better.

Yes, exactly.

That's

their responsibility is to make money.

I was talking to Shane about this, and we were just talking about

ancient history.

He's like, I don't fuck with the ancient history.

I'm like, why not?

He goes, nobody really knows what fucking Augustus said to this guy.

Like, people are just making it up and like writing it down afterwards.

He's like, you really kind of barely even know what happened 50 years ago or like 100 years ago.

And I think that's one of the reasons why if you get into like antiquity, it's so interesting because it's just been like mythologized.

Yeah.

So everything is so much more remarkable and amazing and the people are so much more resilient because they've been retelling the story for 2,000 years.

If you want people to listen to that story, you got to make it interesting.

Yeah.

No doubt.

Yeah, you got to make it interesting.

And the thing is also you have to remember it.

And then you have to tell it to people before anybody even figures out how to write things down.

So they're saying it for a thousand years before they even write it down.

That's my issues with the Bible.

I think the Bible is a historical account of something.

And I think one of the real problems with the Bible is as you get older and older with the Bible, things get weirder and weirder.

So it's like, what was the original story?

Like, if you get to the Dead Sea Scrolls, the Dead Sea Scrolls are bananas.

And there's stuff in the Dead Sea Scrolls.

Like, if you get, like, I had Rep Luna, you know, Anna Paulina Luna on the podcast, and she was talking to me about the book of Enoch.

She goes, you ever read that?

Well, that's not included in the canonization.

Here's why, because of rabbis, a bunch of rabbis said it didn't align with the Torah, and so they yanked it out.

But it's an original biblical text, or at least a part of the original religious text that they found in the sea, in the Dead Sea Scrolls, in Qumran.

When they found those clay tablets, the book of Enoch was in there along with the book of Isaiah.

We need to call Western.

The Book of Enoch is nuts.

I talk to giants about it.

That's the giants.

It's not just the giants, it's aliens.

It's about the watchers who came down and mated with human beings.

Bro, I'm reading it right now.

I know you are.

I already know.

Bananas.

She told me to read it.

And she was like, she's like, you have to read this.

It's nuts.

And what did Wes Hoft say?

Did he say there's a legitimate?

Yeah, it's 100% of legitimate text.

It's legitimate religious text.

But they decided not to include it because it's so nuts and because it goes against the writings of the Torah.

Right, right.

But it was a few rabbis, just a few rabbis decided.

Like if the book of Enoch was included in the Bible,

it changes the whole whole story of the human race.

They just decide what goes into this.

Because they had that kind of power.

They just decided that it doesn't get included in the canon.

This is a long time ago.

But yeah, I mean, this is like around...

Well, who decided to canonize the Bible, right?

This is like Constantine time, right?

Well, that's for the New Testament, right?

And so with the Old Testament, you've got a Wes Huff would be the guy to take it.

Oh, wait a minute.

Enoch was included in the Old Testament.

Oh, it's old as fuck.

Okay, God decided.

Not only is it old as fuck, when they found it, they also found a version of the book of Isaiah.

This is one of the things that Wes Huff told me that was really fascinating they found a version of the book of Isaiah that is verbatim the same as a version of the version of Isaiah that was a thousand years later which they thought was the original unbelievable that's what's crazy for 1,000 years they maintained the exact same story verbatim writing it down and passing it on and the book of Enoch's in there with that

And the book of Enoch is banana.

Yeah, I think we might need to do a little deep dive on the book of Enoch.

The book of Enoch, it says that these watchers came down and mated with human beings and created a race of giants called the Nephilim, who consumed and destroyed everything in front of them.

Gee, that sounds like people.

Yeah, that sounds a lot like people.

If you got a bunch of little chimps and then you got these tall aliens, and they make a fucking seven-foot man,

a Viking, who's like chopping off heads and lighting villages on fire and has this undesirable, unstoppable desire for conquest.

That's humans.

Benephilium sounds like humans.

Exactly.

So they're not giants.

We are the giants.

And then what if they're not?

They might have been giants.

Like, it's hard to say.

But what if the other folks were the Neanderthals?

Well, because there was a time where we're living together, right?

Right.

Well, they were here before us, allegedly.

Well, this is the question is like, where did humans come from?

This is the real question.

There's a really interesting show on PBS right now called Human, where this lady goes on this journey of, it's like, she's, what is her degree in is she an anthropologist I believe she's an anthropologist but um or maybe some sort of biologist but she she goes over the history of the human species it's very interesting the migration from across the Bering Land Bridge into North America when the oldest people started coming here where they how they came here fascinating stuff but that's one of those things like if you think ancient history is filled with horseshit like ancient human history, like of the human,

that's the woman's name.

I don't want to fuck up her name.

Ella

Al-Shamahi.

And

it's on BBC and PBS.

Really good show.

I just started watching it.

She's a paleontologist.

Degree in genetics and taxonomy and biodiversity.

But

they just found recently a human skull that pushes the date of humans back another 500,000 years.

Yeah.

So it's like all they know is what they find in the fossil record and there's so little fossil record.

And then they keep finding new things.

Like they just found Denisovens in like 2010.

They're like, what is that?

What's this?

Total new branch of the human tree.

It's called Denisovins.

Denisovins.

Denisovin.

Denisovins.

Yeah, they found like a bunch of teeth, I think, in Asia, and they're like, what the fuck is this?

And then, so, or maybe it was Russia.

So there's that is the one that they found in China, the big head people.

Yeah, that's

real recent.

That's real recent.

I forget what that one's called.

We've done this a million times, but I always forget.

But so they're always finding these new versions of humans.

So how many of them really were there?

But if there's a bunch of science experiments, if aliens are coming down and like, let's try them where they're short, really powerful, and they only eat meat.

And that's Neanderthals.

Like, stop.

This one's not a good design.

This is not a good design.

We need them a little more frail so they invent things because the brutes don't invent anything.

Yeah, more frontal cortex.

Yeah, well, the neanders have the neanderthals had bigger brains than us that's what's interesting so then what part of our brain was specifically different see we have a very um

we we

our idea of them is that they were dumb and they couldn't talk and that they were brutes but it doesn't seem like that's true in fact it seems like they had art they definitely had tools and they had language and they might have been as smart as us they were just different and maybe us being a little weaker is what made us smarter.

Made us work collectively.

Maybe we're a little more alien, just a touch.

Oh, there's a little too much salt in that stew.

Let's add a touch more of us.

And, you know, it seems like the hairy, you know, 5'7, 200-pound fucking savages with big eyes that might be able to see at night because it looks like they might have had night vision.

They have huge eyeballs, man.

The Neanderthal eye sockets way bigger than ours.

Their skull's thicker.

Their bones are more dense.

They might have had night vision, like a dog.

You know how dogs, their eyes glow when the headlights hit them?

They might have had that same ability.

Hmm.

I mean, yeah, I don't know why.

That design's too sketchy.

This is not what I think.

They can see at night.

Yeah.

And then they go hunting other people.

This is too much.

But then we hunted them.

Maybe.

We might have just fucked them.

I also heard we fucked them.

You had that joke, right?

You're like, I got a little bit of a huge.

Yeah.

One more time with the monkeys.

But in terms of like the stories, like, all right, you know what, you know, when a comic gets off stage and like they think they killed, but they bombed?

Right.

Like, there could be people telling those stories in the books.

There could be.

Like, meaning what their rendition of what happened

is

in the book, and that is what they've truly believed happened.

They might not even be delusional.

I mean, they are delusional, but like, that's what they saw, and that's what happened to them.

And history is always written by the winners.

Exactly.

Yeah.

My version of the Bible story back in the day, I used to have this bit about Noah's Ark.

I was like, the problem with the Bible is people are full of shit and that story sucks.

Yeah.

Like it's that simple.

It's like people lie all the time.

I've never met any politician or any person who's in charge of anything that's like really important that I would say never lies.

So if you're back then where there's zero accountability, zero video, zero anything, they can't even write.

Well, that's where the cross-referencing makes sense, right?

It's like that's when you got a bunch of different people saying the same thing or similar things.

You start to go, okay, maybe this, this did happen.

But I don't know.

There's something,

there is something about it.

You know, like every time I go to church and like whatever, something about the music, I get like emotional.

And I've tried to like reflect on and understand like what it is.

I don't know if it's like seeing people submit to this power that's greater than them.

There's just like, I get really emotional about it.

I don't know what the hell it is.

well it's a it's a combined shared experience that you're having with all the people that are in that building too yeah there's there's something to that and i'm just like watching yeah like maybe it's i like maybe i'm a little cynical and skeptical and like i can get caught up in

the raw emotion

of submitting to something that you cannot control and maybe there's a part of me that that really kind of like envies that and and wants to in the same way that like but because you have a lot of control i don't know if i have any but like no you do you have a lot of discipline and it's discipline yes yeah but a person like yourself does a lot of discipline and a lot of work ethic that doesn't come without control over yourself yes and you want to submit and give into something sometimes and there's something beautiful in that and like seeing people do it so willingly like I get fucking emotional it's yet and uh

yeah I've I've thought about it a lot I don't know what it is, but it happens almost every time.

And it's specifically with the music.

Yeah.

Well, I think music is a very powerful thing.

I mean, that's when we were playing What Up, Gangsta.

I mean, come on, man.

Well, like we were both on a drug.

Dude, there's a...

Your whole body starts moving.

You're like, oh, come on.

I was talking to this guy.

He's a photographer for F1.

He's been doing it for like 30 years.

And he, you know, he's been to, he literally takes off one race a year to go to like this music festival.

He just loves music.

And like, I asked him if he saw Oasis because, you know, Oasis is back.

And

you're a fan of Oasis?

Yeah, I'm loved them.

And what's so interesting is happening with Oasis specifically is

right now we don't live live in like the monoculture anymore.

You know, like there's a thousand different silos and everybody thinks that like the thing happening in their world is the most important thing.

There's no like universal new rock star.

Like Justin Bieber might have been like the last person that was like a musician that everybody knows.

There's a K-pop band that none of us can name the guys that is the biggest band in the world.

Exactly.

But like back in the day, especially when we were growing up, there were bands that were just Metallica like performing in Russia.

You know, like these things were just kind of, there was a monoculture.

and then the internet has divided that, and that just is what it is.

But what's kind of interesting is, I feel like people are the people who did experience monoculture, they're going back to these like nostalgic events.

It's like why existing IP movies are the only movies that work, right?

It's like they want to feel those moments when we all were experiencing the same thing at the same time.

And like, I'm seeing these like oasis clips, like all my boys, I was in Australia, but all my boys went to go see Oasis.

And like, there's a really interesting thing.

The uh, the lead singer, I guess, is it Noel or Liam is the lead singer.

I'm such like a casual.

Doesn't matter.

Like, he's just wearing a track suit.

Like, he's just wearing like fucking like the muffin.

And, like, to me, I'm like, that's the most rock star shit.

Wearing the big flamboyant thing was rock star when everybody was wearing suits.

But now that everybody is big flamboyant, just showing up in a fucking hoodie to your fucking stadium show, it just lets you know, like, I'll do whatever I'm doing.

It's going to be the day when we're going to throw it back to you.

100,000 people at the same time waving.

Yeah, I don't know.

I don't think anybody feels the way I do about you now.

Oh my god, what a song.

For real?

We're that good.

We're that good.

So, what do we have to do?

Cut that part out?

Yeah, let's cut that part.

We were just singing an Oasis song.

Unfortunately, you can't hear it because of tyranny.

Tyranny!

Fascism.

But it's, I don't know, like.

I love comics throwing out that word, too.

That's a funny one.

Throwing out fascism.

Nobody even knows what that fucking word means.

That's the most annoying thing.

Nobody knows the definition of that shit.

There's a few people online that are like political debaters that know the definition of that word.

But what it is, is like, you're bad.

That's it.

Yeah, you're bad.

You're an asshole.

I'm going to call you an asshole.

Yeah.

And I want to sound smart when I'm calling you an asshole.

I disagree with the things that you're doing.

So I'm going to use this word that neither of us really know the definition of.

Because if you call me a fascist,

I can't really say I'm not because I don't know what the fuck that shit is.

Well, that's the problem with things like Antifa.

Well, of course, you're anti-fascist.

Yeah, it's a pretty good thing.

Yeah.

It's like the Patriot Act.

Oh, we are.

I'm a patriot.

Take my rights.

Of course, I'm a patriot.

Take away my rights.

It's like every time

he pushes a bill that's like the don't hurt women bill.

Yes.

You know, but all it is is like tax incentives for some group.

And that's how you.

Why Trump is so ridiculous.

The big, beautiful bill.

It's just like everything is marketed.

Like, you're going to be too big.

It's beautiful.

It's big.

But that's the

political game, man.

It's a stupid fucking game.

Bro, it is.

It is a stupid game to base your entire personality and identity about.

That is

the weird part.

And people do.

Oh, it's everything.

People do.

And they're in a life or death struggle every four years.

Like, settle down.

Because it's a zero-sum game.

Power is a zero-sum game.

Yeah.

Right?

It's just like, if I think that this person is going to completely change my life and completely strip me of everything I have, anybody that supports that person and that person are completely evil.

Right.

And then once you think someone's evil, you can do anything to them.

Right.

Well, the people that have an argument about that are Mexican immigrants, especially the children of Mexican immigrants who maybe their family, maybe they're illegal because they were born here, but their parents aren't, and they're realizing their parents might get kicked out.

Like, that's scary.

It's fucked up.

That's scary.

Yeah, I don't like the ice stuff at all.

It's not just bad, it's bad for them.

And I don't know how they don't realize that this is the worst look ever.

It's also a bad look for ICE.

Yeah.

Like, ICE itself is a very important institution.

Yeah.

Like, you want to make sure that you have a government program that can enforce the borders and also, like, remove people that are here illegally, especially people that are doing criminal activity.

Like, this is an institution that we shouldn't malign.

This is one that we should be proud of.

This is a good thing.

But then, when every video coming out, it's like seeing these people being like torn from their families and all this kind of stuff.

It's like, yeah, you're going to have a lot of animosity towards these groups.

And I know we're having this conversation right now.

There's already people getting a video going, well, this is what you guys wanted.

And this is like, no.

One of the things I actually talked to Trump about is like, how can we not do this?

Like, what can we do?

How do we have these people who've been living here for fucking 10 years?

They're paying taxes.

Like, why don't we give them a pathway to citizenship?

And I specifically was like, yo, you own hotels.

You've employed these people.

Right.

You know, they're good people.

Right.

Like, if you like, we're entertainers.

Like, we work in fucking restaurants.

You know what I mean?

Like, we know we work with these people and you see them grinding.

Like,

I don't know.

Yeah, that's a very frustrating thing.

I think their problem with it is multifaceted, but I think one of the issues is the way the census works.

Because the way the census works, you get congressional seats based on the amount of people that live in an area, regardless of whether or not those people are citizens.

So, yeah, and that nuts?

So, if you have import, so like you say, if you import census.

How do you prove that they're there then if they're illegal?

Because you get nothing.

The census doesn't check to see your legality.

It just counts the number of people that live in a residence.

But how do you count it?

Like, they have to fill the census out, right?

Why would they fill it out if they're here illegally?

That's a good question.

But

they know.

They know based on employment.

It's like there's a bunch of different points of data that they get it from.

That's a good question.

But the point is, it doesn't matter if they're illegal.

So if you fill out a census and you're illegal, it doesn't matter.

It just matters how many people are in this area, and that dictates how how many congressional seats you get.

So if you can award a bunch of people, also if you encourage these people to fill out the census because it's politically beneficial to your party, right?

Especially if you help those people get in.

So if you invited them into this country, actually flew them out to that place, put them up in hotels, that kind of deal, then you can get more congressional seats because you have more human beings.

So that's the argument.

Like a lot of people chalk it up to they're giving these people voting rights and it's like, no, that's not what's happening.

They're actually increasing the amount of representatives you could have in a certain district.

They are, are, but then we went over this yesterday in Tim Walsh's state in Minnesota.

Yeah, they actually passed a law where they give them driver's licenses and they could use those driver's licenses to vote.

It's not legal, but someone could break the law and do it with those driver's licenses.

The problem is they know that some people have.

There definitely have been instances where illegal aliens have voted for whatever election.

So the question is, did they move them there for congressional seats?

Did they move them there for cheap labor?

Did they move them there?

Because if they pay for these people and give them ABT cards, and then eventually they devise a pathway to citizenship, if they get like a Democrat in in four years, we have to take care of our community regardless of whether you can, if you're a good person, a hardworking person, we want you to join Team America.

And that's how I feel.

That's how I feel.

And so then all of a sudden, those people who you got in, gave EBT cards, put them up in the Roosevelt, now those people are voting.

Right.

And obviously they're going to vote for the people who have protected them.

100%.

And I wouldn't blame them for that at all.

Especially now, this is why it's politically dangerous for the Republicans because this support of ICE and seeing that, that you just lost the whole Latino base, right?

Yeah.

Except the hardcore Cubans who don't give a fuck.

Yeah,

get the fuck out of here.

We ain't voting Democrat.

That was the joke I had.

It's like the second they put their foot on dry land, they're like, we got to stop this immigration.

This is too much, guys.

This is too much.

Especially from communist countries.

Get the fuck out of here with those ideas.

They've experienced communism, and that's why they embrace materialism.

Cubans love Cuban links, big-ass gold chains to let a motherfucker know I got some cheddar.

Yeah.

Right?

Like, because in their country, like, you get what they give you, and that's it.

I heard a good quote.

You know who.

You know who Carlos Slim is?

You've heard of Carlos Slim.

He's like a telecommunication magnet.

He's the wealthiest guy in Mexico, but they're all over the the world.

He's like, you know, super billionaire.

And

apparently, you know, this is a secondhand, but like

he's this guy who I don't know what he looks like, but I'm aware of his name.

He's incredibly powerful, incredibly successful.

What a great name.

Carlos.

Amazing, right?

And he sounds like a pool player, right?

It sounds like he's related to Iceberg.

Yeah, man.

The guy who wrote the

wrong book.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He wrote a book on Pippin.

That book is terrifying.

Like, I was like, how do I make sure these guys don't meet my wife?

It's fucking horrifying, that book.

But yeah, he had an interesting thing about, like, I'm always impressed by these guys who have all this power, but they don't want any of the limelight.

Like, I don't know what he looks like, but I know in the name and I know he's involved in everything.

Yeah.

And apparently he said something like,

even billionaires can be new to money.

implying that like a lot of the guys that we see, we hear, the guys that are all over the place,

like, they're new to this and they, on some level, want it to be known that they got it.

Right.

And the people who've maybe done it for, you know, legacy generations, they're like, you actually get yourself in more trouble the more people know.

Oh, for sure.

Right.

But it's hard to like be broken and get some money and not want to flex it.

Well, even if you don't want to flex it, if you just have it, like if you're Jeff Bezos, you're out in the middle of the Caribbean.

you know, with Lawrence Sanchez chilling on a yacht, there's someone with a drone taking photos of it.

I mean, you also do do your wedding in Venice, like you want to flex it.

That was flexing.

You want to flex it.

That was her, I bet.

Yeah.

She was like, I want a big.

Oh, wait.

You don't think Jeff wanted to do his second wedding in Venice with a bunch of celebrities?

Invite every famous person on earth.

The Kardashian show.

Three times.

Yeah.

You don't think he wanted that?

Yeah.

Hilarious.

But that's what happens, bro.

So the wedding is the wife's.

Right, and you kind of got to go, too.

You're like, damn, we got to go.

You kind of got to do your own.

Oh, I thought you were talking about Jeff going to his own wedding.

Oh, yeah, that too.

Do I have to go?

This feels like your thing.

Are you sure I have to do it?

I have to support you in this venture.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, if you get invited to that and you're like one of their fucking friends, you're like, oh, great.

Yeah.

Fly to Venice and be a part of this zoo.

See, that's how you, that's like,

that's how, like, kind of we would feel about it.

But there are certain people who are like, I think they almost define themselves by those invitations.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But what?

I think I define myself

as being able to miss the wedding.

Well, there's also a thing that we actually

make stuff ourselves

rather than have to get hired to go make us stuff.

You know, like you'll do a movie occasionally if you want to, but you make your own comedy, you make your own podcast, you make your own stuff.

When you're an actor and you don't make your own stuff and you've got to appear in other people's stuff, there's a whole different layer of bullshit that you have to dance with.

There's a reliance.

Yeah, there's a reliance and then there's also like a currency of being current, you know, and hot.

Yep, yep, yep.

You got to be a part of that.

Yeah.

And that's when, you know, one of the things you see about comics that lash out at people, it's like Marin's a good example of this, is like, once you've got no currency, that's when you start lashing out.

Yeah.

Because you got to get attention some way.

Yeah.

And you're not getting it through your art.

So

what's the way to get it?

You have to figure out some way to be current.

So find out what is current and then shit all over it.

And get the people who think Elon's a fuckwit.

He's a fuckwit.

Yeah, get those people and they're like, yeah, fuck Schultz.

Yeah,

fuck Vrog and fuck everybody.

But yeah.

I mean,

that's got to be the worst thing, is like, to be a comic that only gets attention when you talk about comedy.

Right.

Like, you want to get attention from your jokes.

You want people to like you for the fun of it.

You want to have a really interesting point that nobody else thought of.

Yeah, hilarious, or something fucking stupid and silly that's hilarious.

Like, that's what we love.

Right.

And, like, that's what you actually really want.

But, like, when the only reason anybody's talking about you is because you're shitting on your colleagues.

Right.

Like, that's what's bothering you in the world.

But I think that's what happened with just the whole, like, what's happening right now with the comedy economy.

It's like, I think people are feeling.

I think young comics are probably feeling a little bit like concerned that they don't know the way forward.

Right.

They also don't know whether or not they're being forced to participate in these pylons or whether they should back off.

And then they get pressure and they don't know what to do.

Like, I cut young guys and young women a lot more slack than I do the OGs, these people that have been around for a long time.

You should know what it's like to be attacked, and you should know that this is not fair, it's not cool.

And you also should, if you have an opinion on what these people are doing, with whatever, whether it's Riyadh, whether

have

some kind of compassion for these people as human beings and as colleagues, and

be charitable.

Be charitable.

That's what I try to do.

I try to be very charitable when I talk about anybody that I'm not like in a real serious thing, like a Mark Barron type thing with.

That guy, I'm like, fuck you.

Yeah.

You're a problem.

But he made his bed.

Yeah,

he made his bed.

And the Theo thing just really drove me crazy because Theo is the sweetest fucking human being.

I love him to death.

Do you think that man

wants to be talking about another comedian?

Like, do you think that he was...

The thing is, that's...

You remember when comics would all they talk about is like airline seats and travel?

It's because that's all they knew because they were on the road.

On the road constantly.

Because that's all they think about.

That's all he thinks about is other people doing better than him.

So that's what he wants to be about.

Where's your thoughts on Gaza?

Oh, I haven't heard him say anything about that one.

Kind of weird.

Yeah.

There was some crazy estimate.

The actual official tally is like 67,000 people dead.

It's going to be be more than that.

Oh, there's Stephen Dossinger had a thing on his page where there's some human rights group that estimates it to be as high as 400,000.

Yeah, because I don't think they count missing as dead yet.

No, I mean,

there's no way they know.

You look at all that rubble, and bro, okay, so there's that, but then there's also what Hamas is doing right now

in Gaza, which is crazy.

These executions and tortures of people that they think collaborated with Israel.

Yeah.

Woo!

Horrific.

Horrific.

Me and Tommy Segura have a

text thread that we go back and forth with literally the worst shit we find every day.

It's like a trauma thread.

And

I sent him one.

Tom just needs to feel something, huh?

Tom just needs to feel.

He just needs to feel.

That's why I sent him these things.

You got to show him the worst shit ever.

He's like, all right, I am human.

Yeah, I sent him one.

He was like, that one was rough.

I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They were breaking this guy's bones with boulders.

They had this guy blindfolded and he was sitting down and they took this enormous rock and threw it on his shin and snapped his shin in half.

And this guy's screaming.

And then they take his arm and they stretch his arm out and this guy hits it with his giant bat and crushes his arm.

No, it's horrific.

It is so crazy what they're doing and they're doing it on Samsung 4K video on a cell phone.

And kids can see it.

Anybody can see it.

My kids saw the Charlie Kirk assassination.

Bro.

You know, it's like, I didn't want to see it.

And then someone sent it to me.

I think Tom sent it to me, actually.

And I'm like, all right, let me see.

And then I watched it.

I was like, oh, God.

But that's, yeah, that's the tricky thing right now is because I think that like,

as far as we've been comedians, there's been like a clear path of how to make it.

It didn't mean that it was accessible to everybody, but like when you're growing up, I'm sure it's like, get an HBO special.

When I'm coming up, it was HBO.

And then it transitioned to.

come on the Joe Rogan podcast.

And that was the thing.

And did it mean every single comedian that came on here became a millionaire?

No.

But a lot fucking did.

You got to look.

You got to look.

You got an audience that was interested and curious.

And like, if you were legit, if you were Shane Gillis, if you were you, if you were Ari Shafir, whatever it was, you popped off.

Hundreds of people, right?

And we saw it like instantaneously.

It was like, you come on, and then your podcast would go number one afterwards.

Like, you remember this, right?

And it was like, okay, so then comics were like, okay, wow, there's a pathway forward.

And then like the clip economy and the YouTube specials and these things start happening.

And then people like okay i do that that's how i go popping then kill tony erupts and it's like oh shit if i can get a spot on kill tony then i can make it right and i think that like

now people are going okay

I might not be the right fit for Kill Tony because the character-based things really explode more than like, say, a traditional comic.

It's like, okay, I don't do that.

It's like, I don't know how I can even get on Joe.

And if I do get on Joe, can I be on enough for the audience?

We'll see.

I put a YouTube special out, but like, it seems like there's hundreds of YouTube specials out.

So it's like, I don't know if that's going to be the thing that breaks me.

So I think the younger comics are kind of experiencing this thing where they're like, I don't know the pathway forward.

And someone's going to invent some shit.

Someone's going to do the thing that I did, that you did, where you just try something new and then it catches on and fucking, that dominates what it is.

But like, I think they're in this period where they're like, I don't know what to do.

And when you don't know what to do and you're not where you want to be, that's where I think the bitterness starts to come out.

Well, you also don't know what the path forward is and if it's ever going to arrive for you or if you're just going to be like on the outside forever so you're toiling in obscurity and then you're just and then you start to feel resentful then you start to feel angry before you might feel resentful and angry but you're like you know what there might be a chance joe could see me he'll bring me on his podcast and then i could have all this fucking success and it's like

so i do empathize with that like anger But the knee-jerk reaction to just shit on everything and try to shit on the scene and like shit on Austin or like shit on these things, I don't think they realize that that's not going to to get them any closer.

It will get them like immediate attention.

A bunch of their comedian friends around them are going to click and like and do these things, but it's not going to be that long-term sustained career.

You don't build a fan base by going, I don't like that place.

You also alienate the newest scene in the world.

You alienate people who actually help you.

This is the thing that...

You're making a fake version of what the scene is, too.

But I mean, that's the internet, right?

It's like that's the crazy thing.

It's like you have to say, you have to have an N-word joke.

You have to, you know, you have to go on and have a trans joke.

And this is just the same thing.

You know what the problem is?

It's a walled garden.

Austin is a walled garden.

Like, if you're on the outside, you see all these people having so much fun in the garden, you're like, I can't even, I'm not even in there.

Fuck those people.

It's not.

It's not, but it's an appearance of a walled garden.

Exactly.

And then I think that there's like people on another level up.

We were saying earlier that are like seeing these like people talk shit about it and they're getting concerned that it could like negatively impact them in a way.

So they're doing this like, it's the most pussy shit.

They're like trying to create a little distance.

Not too much where they can't call you and say, hey, I got a pod, I got a

special shit.

Yeah, like not too much where it's like, oh, I'd like to come on your pod, but I'll have a guy who's going to shit on you for the whole fucking episode and not give you pushback.

It's like, and it's not just him.

Like, I've seen other people do it.

And it's just like, dude, dude, dude, you're going to go through some cancel shit later.

All these guys, they're going to go through some later.

And they had a guy that they could call that would bring them on the biggest platform in the world and let them explain themselves, have their back.

Like, you will do it.

Well, I would still do that with Santina.

Of course you would.

That's your boy.

That's your boy.

I love him.

He's a fucking amazing hang.

That was a bad move.

That was a bad move, in my opinion.

He felt like, look, Mark is irrelevant.

He's yelling these things out.

Like, let him rant.

Everyone's going to know what he's doing.

But I don't think everybody on the outside

is because they don't know comedy.

They don't know the business.

And it looks like you're co-signing it all.

And it looks like that you're okay with this.

And I'm fine with you having him on.

Like, I would have Marin on, but we're going to go at it.

Like, Akash calls him out.

Akash calls him out every single time because he's just like, come on, you pussy, let's talk.

Oh, you ain't shit.

Yeah, so it's like, it's like, but it's like, yeah, but also defend your boy.

And that's also important because

at a baseline,

people don't want to see people abandon their friends at like a baseline

human thing.

Right.

Even if you got your friend's back when he's going through some shit, even if you disagree with that person did, like, baseline human, you go, I kind of would want that guy as a friend.

There was a video of Trump on Letterman when, I think it's Letterman.

I'm pretty sure sure it's Letterman.

Trump, when Mike Tyson got convicted.

And bro, it was like the most unpopular opinion in the world.

He goes, I think his attorneys were terrible.

They had the worst defense I've ever heard in my life.

This girl came up to his room at 1 a.m.

They said she was dancing a few hours later.

She was hanging out with people, having a good time.

She came over, took off her panty shield in his bathroom.

And she'd also accused someone of rape

that

was unjustly accused of rape so she'd done it before yeah she had done the same thing before

you know i don't know what the fuck happened there obviously at all but that was his boy and he defended his boy so look we don't know we don't know what happened and he said it on letterband i respect that and he was like whoa and but a lot of people in the comments did too like wow and tyson got his back you know that yeah like they've talked to tyson decades later always has yeah it's yeah it's a different

I don't know to me I'm like I thought this is normal like I thought this is

because you're a man

That's the thing.

There's a lot of these people that are like a salamander that's never gone through its final developmental changes.

And they're stuck in like an adolescent stage of evolution forever.

Yeah.

There's men that are like that.

But that, you know.

I don't know.

And maybe it's because I'd like to know guys like you and like Charlemagne who like I see them going through shit and I see people like will try to like get me to talk to people.

It's like, it ain't going to happen.

Yeah.

Like I know these people as human beings.

You know a 30-second TikTok of them.

So if you want to have that conversation, we're going to have it but like you're not going to like the way it goes because these people are my friends like real friends right not like colleagues there are people who we're colleagues with right but like my real friends you guys are at my wedding right and you've been to my wedding like my wedding wasn't like a comedy hangout right it was people who i am close to you know what i mean like by the way it's one of the only weddings i've ever been and i respected that took a covet test

took a covet test

you were so upset about it too you're like here bitch

You're like, I'm free of it, bitch.

That was already over.

I don't even know if I had been

of being canceled

about the COVID stuff.

I was like, it was just starting.

Yeah.

Can I pee real quick?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let's pee.

We're back.

We're back.

When Tony got into it, when the first one with the Asian thing, when he got into that,

people didn't know the.

He was totally.

Not always he set up, people don't know the full context of it.

This guy did this whole set of like, it was like real bad comedy and it was why do you hate asians everybody hates asians and so tony gets up and makes fun of them for being chinese afterwards they take that they run with it tony fortunately had a video of that guy's set and released it along with his full set where you see this is just what he does he's just around and then he kills he kills for the entire set and he released that and then the cancellation basically died off but when he was going through it man i i was really worried about him, like genuinely worried about him.

He thought his life was over.

He had never experienced anything like that before.

And then I took him with me to Salt Lake City.

And it was only,

God,

I guess a week and a half.

He took off one weekend.

We did a show in Houston.

And he's like, I just, I don't think I can go on stage.

I was like, just take this weekend off.

I'm going to pay you anyway.

I go, I'll pay you.

Just relax.

And then we'll do Salt Lake City, right?

I just, just, just, I know you're going through it.

Just, so then he went on stage one night at the Vulcan.

He's like, dude, I think I could do it.

I'm back.

I'm back.

And so then people didn't know that he was going to be with me in Salt Lake City.

So we're in the back of the room and I announce the opening act.

And I said, ladies and gentlemen, one of my best friends, Tony Hinchcliffe.

And they went, yeah.

They stood up,

arms raised, like, fuck yeah.

It was part of it was because I was supporting him.

He was going through it.

It was public.

It was in the middle of everything.

And he went up and destroyed the love that he got from those people and then he went and just ran with it and he had material on it he was already talking about it and it's just it was beautiful but it was beautiful to watch him realize like oh i'm gonna be okay the internet is not reality right and he had that moment in real time but he also had you having his back like that's the and i think people see that also like i think there's people in the crowd that see that and i think on a primal level they go man if i got caught up in some fuck shit I would really like it if my friend had my back.

Yeah.

If people were saying things about me that my friends know were false and they use their platforms to talk or, you know, put me on or whatever it is.

I think deep down viscerally, they go, oh, that's a good guy.

You got to try to like help people.

You know, I tried to get Steve Renazzisi on when that 9-11 stuff happened, and he decided to go on Stern instead.

Yeah.

And I was like, okay, but

I'm telling you, if I have you on, I can navigate it a little more compassionately.

But I don't think at the time he understood where podcasts were versus where Stern was at the time.

Stern was still stern in his eyes, but it wasn't stern in terms of like the reach.

And even if it was, he's not going to handle you the same way I'm going to handle you.

Yeah.

Like, I'm going to give you all the room in the world to express yourself, and I'm going to be as charitable as possible.

and I'm going to put myself in a position where I can imagine if I made up a story and then I got stuck with it.

Like, oh no,

you know, and what is the way forward with that?

Well, I guess the way forward, he eventually had to address it and talk about it on stage.

And,

you know, but

you, you can help people.

You could really, it really does work.

If you have a platform and someone's going through something, like, you really can save their

world.

You can.

you can especially if you show that you have support and you love them and you talk about it and talk about what a great person they are like tony's one of my favorite people ever yeah tony's great man and like i he has this massive thing and naturally we want to pick at the people that are incredibly successful it's just like human nature fucking taylor swift gets it you know what i mean like bro here's the thing yeah till kill tony wasn't that big back then that's no no back then i'm saying even now yeah but now well well the thing is the second cancellation like after he did the

yeah the puerto rico thing yeah he was already ready he was like i've been through this storm before i'm just gonna tie down these sales and

ride this motherfucker out

but if he hadn't been through that that would have been even more devastating because then you're getting canceled by cnn and the new york times and yeah you know they had stories pre-written ready to go blaming the loss of trump on tony hinchcliffe and then the latino vote went up he said like 15 he said tony said the first night he slept was the night that I endorsed Trump.

For real.

And he literally said, dude, that was the first night.

He goes, I think it's going to be okay now.

Wow.

Which is crazy because that's part of the reasons why I did it.

Part of that reason.

He's going to get Tony out of here.

We've got to protect Tony.

Little did you.

He didn't even need to.

The Puerto Ricans were like, we got this.

Well, Puerto Ricans take a joke better than anybody on the planet.

That is a great shit-talking community.

They They talk shit to each other.

It's part of the public.

It's partially in New York.

They're not going to be sensitive by anything.

Now, what I would have told Zoni, and what I said to him, is like, I wish you had told me what the set is because New Yorkers have this idea of Puerto Rico as this beautiful Caribbean island.

It's like our first vacation in New York when we go to a fancy place.

It's Puerto Rico.

So I think when he was connecting it to the island of garbage, which I knew where he's going, there was like an island of garbage floating in the

Atlantic or

the garbage pack.

So So it was actually, he was bringing it to something that was a popular story like a year or two ago.

But New Yorkers don't know what the fuck is floating.

You know what I mean?

Like, we're just like, yo, Puerto Rico's.

So I think that they were just like, oh, that was weird.

We don't see Puerto Rico in that way.

Well, you know?

Not necessary, because that joke murders when he did it at Madison Square Garden when he's opening for me.

Oh, really?

Fucking murdered.

Okay, fair enough.

Murdered.

Because it's just a joke.

The thing is, it's just a joke.

But it's also, Puerto Rico, if you don't know, has a massive garbage garbage problem

because they have a landfill issue because they don't have much land so they got all these fucking tourists coming over there with their fucking water bottles and they got a huge hole in the ground that's overflowing with trash at the end of the day it's a fucking joke it's a joke it's a joke but it's not a joke he should have done there that's the thing if he was running that joke by me i'd be like no that's not the one that's all i'm saying that's where there's a different place that you could use that i told him not to do it period yeah i was like there's no upside to this dude this is a it's it's not going to be a comedy crowd and meanwhile he goes on after some guy has got this crazy we're going to take back america that's the thing even doing comedy in that environment is like the trickiest thing and like i do think like in general like us just having politicians on and like even going to the rally where he went it's like i think what's happened is that we've politicized ourselves and like we've brought ourselves into the game of politics which is the ugliest game yeah like it is the ugliest game because it's that zero sum shit we were saying earlier.

It's just like, this is, people really believe it's life or death.

Uh-huh.

Dude, I was pushing my daughter in a stroller, right?

And a lady goes, hey, this is in New York.

She goes, hey, didn't you have Trump on your podcast?

And I was like, I already know it's gone.

I'm like, I'm like, yeah, yeah, he was on the podcast.

And she's like,

well, I hope your daughter has a good life.

I'm like, bitch, you live in Tribeca.

You know what I mean?

Like, what do you think is happening over here?

Your husband works for fucking Goldman.

You know what I mean?

Like, what do you think he's voting for?

But But, like, that type of vitriolic hate to a stranger on the street.

What'd you say to her?

I said, uh,

I go, uh, I go, Oh, do you have a daughter?

Because she just looked lonely, and I really wanted her to be like, No.

And then I was just gonna lower the fucking boom.

And then she was like, Yeah, I have two.

And I was like, Okay, well, I hope they have good lives.

She out-crowd worked me.

Yeah.

But I was like, so like, I was like in shock.

Like, I'm like, with, like, there's a, I'm with a child.

Like, why are you talking to me in the street?

Like, I saw a video of a lady getting out of a cyber truck in New Jersey, and some woman yelled at her, you fucking racist, you racist.

She's like, what?

Yeah.

Somebody just gave me a ride.

It was an Uber.

No,

she got a ride from somebody who had a cyber truck.

She got out of the car.

Oh, yeah.

And, you know, and some lady started calling her a racist.

Yeah, so out of nowhere.

There's in the same people.

Oh, yeah.

There's like, and some people.

have always been here.

And they're even more rooted in their insanity because it's rewarded every time they go on their phone.

Yes.

Like their crazy opinions are just like, yeah, you're right about that opinion.

Here's evidence.

Yeah.

30 seconds at a time.

And they're dumb, so they don't realize what it's doing to them.

So they're on that fucking shit all day long getting aggravated.

And they're desperate for community.

Their whole identity is this community.

God forbid they have a dissenting opinion.

All of a sudden, that community is going to ostracize them.

It's literally what happened to like Ezra.

Like Ezra is actually trying to have real conversations.

Like he believes in what Democrats can do and think that they're the best for government.

And he's like, how can we make this happen?

And then there are people that would be like his biggest supporters.

The second he moves a little bit away, it's, I can't believe he's turned into a right-wing grifter.

That's calling Ezra Klein

a right-wing grifter.

Yeah.

Or Elon Musk a fuckwit.

Yeah, it's the same thing.

You're never going to make everybody happy.

And as your profile increases, the number of ignorant people that are paying attention and commenting on you increases.

Yes.

It is, and so it's that's a great point.

Number six.

Yeah, it's like the percentage doesn't change, but the amount changes drastically because you have so many more people watching.

Well, especially if there's an event, like if you had Trump on the podcast, that's the event, and then ignorant people just start yapping out their opinion.

And I want them to have opinions.

No, if you guys are.

I think it's a beautiful thing.

I'll never tell anybody not to say anything.

But like, the funniest thing about the Trump pot is that that like initially it was Kamala's campaign and the Democrats like loving the interview because Trump said that thing.

It was a really fascinating thing that happened because both sides were going, oh, this is awesome.

And I was like, holy shit.

What did he say?

He goes, he says one of the funniest things ever.

He goes, he goes, I'm basically an honest person.

And then he says it to me, and I just laugh because I'm like,

I laugh for a few reasons.

Like, one, I laugh because it's a hilarious thing to say.

It's very biased.

But two, it's like actually the most honest thing to say.

Like, if I'm deconstructing it, it's like anybody who goes, I've never told a lie, you're like, you're a fucking liar.

You've just told one.

But saying you're basically honest is like, yeah, I pretty much mostly tell the truth.

Yeah.

You know, sometimes I say Melania looks skinnier than she does, you know, or whatever the fuck every husband is.

You know what I mean?

But like, it's, I don't know.

It was just the funniest thing.

Boy, the Epstein files is a hoax.

Bro, the fucking Epstein thing is just.

Nothing but a a hoax it's just

it's just I don't even understand

I don't get it I don't get it it's it is the easiest political victory like if you if you just it is but it isn't here's the thing yeah um

I'm not supporting anything just be really clear ladies and gentlemen

but if you are

if you have relationships with all these insanely wealthy people that are going to be

severely impacted by this like this is the ultimate political football.

Because I don't know what the numbers are.

I don't know who the people are, but I've heard things.

And if those things are true, you're dealing with some of the most powerful people in the world, some of the wealthiest people

in the world.

They got to go down.

Yeah, well, it depends on what they did, right?

It's like, did you go over there and have sex with a 24-year-old and do Coke?

Or did you go...

Totally fine.

Right.

Or did you go over there?

But here's...

Didn't you want that out?

I would want that out.

If like, yeah, but you wouldn't want that out because, like, how do you're connected to pedophilia, no matter what?

Oh, right, because you're like Epstein's eye.

She was 24, and then someone's going to go, well, did you idea?

And you're like, well, no, I didn't idea.

But did you see underage girls?

Were you there?

Are you complicit?

So you don't want to even be around it.

Right.

Well, you can't be around it.

I mean, the guy 100%

had sexual relationships with underage girls at least in Florida.

Convicted.

And convicted.

Yeah.

And so that, and you knew that when you were meeting him.

That's the Bill Gates thing that's the the craziest.

Not only Bill Gates, the Stephanopoulos guy.

Like a bunch of them went over there.

A lot of people went over there.

A lot of scientists went over there.

And I think those guys thought they were going over there for this beautiful place where you can go.

This guy's donating money to science.

You're hanging out with movie stars.

This intellectual discourse.

So tell me about string theory.

Well, it's really fascinating.

One of the things we've learned, and you're having cocktails, like bliss rice is great.

And then you can get your dick sucked.

It's like a Diddy party for nerds.

Exactly.

And a lot of people went to those parties.

Yeah, I don't want to say Ahsan Ahmad's joke.

I don't want to say a joke.

I don't want to ruin his joke.

Shout out to Assan, man.

Ahsan's great.

He's got a great joke that compares it to Diddy.

He's filming a special soon too.

Yes, he is.

I'm very excited about this.

He is this weekend.

Oh, really?

So this coming up?

This upcoming weekend at the mothership.

No, it's at the Black Rabbit.

Black Rabbit.

So make sure you guys go check that out.

He is great.

That guy works hard.

I've known him since he was a doorman at the comedy store.

Yeah.

Yeah, him and Derek do the solid show together.

Yep.

Yep.

So I got to know Ahsan.

No, Ahsan's great, man.

They have a great pod, man.

Super smart dude, too.

But yeah, that's.

Very interesting guy.

Great green room hang.

That's, yep, that's the other thing.

It's like,

just being able to hang.

Just being able to fucking hang is like, people think about like, oh, what are all these competitive advantages?

How do you do this, that, the other?

And it's just like, can you fucking hang out?

Can you sit down on a couch and can we bust balls?

Are we fun?

It's that easy.

Yeah.

Are you fun?

Are you easy?

Are you a happy person?

Are you good to get along with?

Yeah.

That makes it so easy.

It's like simple things that you learn in high school.

Have you ever had an experience where there's a guy who's a fun hanging, you haven't seen him on stage yet?

And you're like, I hope he's funny.

Yeah.

Because I like hanging with people.

Oh, there's some bad examples of that at the comedy store.

I saw someone sat.

I was like, oh, no.

I can't be friends with you.

Like, this is too.

Fitzsimmons and I were laughing about that once.

We saw this person go on stage, and then afterwards, we went into the back parking lot, and Greg's like, well, I can't be friends with them anymore.

Greg cracks me the fuck up, dude.

Is Greg from Boston?

He's a Boston guy, right?

We started out together within a week of each other.

Yeah, it's awesome.

I've been friends with that dude for like 35 fucking years, maybe more.

Yeah, Greg is.

Greg's still in L.A., right?

Yes.

Unfortunately.

Dude, Greg was there when I fucking, I did some like.

I did

like a halfway house show or something like that.

I don't know.

I was just at the store and they just asked me, I was like, do you want to pop on this one?

And it was like,

he's like, Greg, it's Joey.

And I was like, yeah, sure, I'll go do it.

And I did it.

And I was doing these like,

I did some Down syndrome.

It was kind of like long, to be honest with you.

Oh, that was

the Down syndrome group.

I had no clue because they told me half house.

So I was like, oh, it's guys who are like drug addicts, alcoholics.

And I did like a long bit about it.

And it didn't go great.

Like everything was kind of good up until that moment.

And then it kind of went south.

And I was like, oh, that was weird.

And I get on stage and Joey's like waiting there, or Greg, I forget which way they're like, what the hell are you doing?

And I was like, I don't know.

Like, I thought it was going well.

And then it just kind of tanked.

He's like, yeah, because it's all of them.

They're out there.

This is like a charity show or a benefit for it.

It's like, you got to let me know that.

Yeah, you should let people know that.

I had a very similar thing happen.

I had a bit about how there's certain words that are offensive, but wouldn't it be better if instead of like banning these words, if like the government issued like retard tags, like hunting tags, like you get five a year.

He's got to know when to use them.

You know, and

these people were just.

This is fascism.

Government quotas.

But I would be like, you do not want to go outside on December 31st when all the retard tags are going

because everybody's got three extra retard tags.

You got to use them.

You can't let these things go to waste.

They still roll over.

But I did it there.

And people are like, oh, I was like, what?

Yeah.

What's wrong?

And then afterwards, they told me, I was like how about a heads up wait you did it also yes how many of these benefits are they doing the coffee store it takes a lot of money fair enough you know yeah it's uh an education thing but uh i up too same thing and then i was like oh why didn't you tell me i felt something in the i felt

bro i felt it it was like it just went and the look was like does he not know

I think they thought that I didn't.

They didn't.

I don't think they thought I was being edgy.

They thought you didn't know.

They're like, oh, he doesn't know.

Right, right, right.

So they're like, they have a sour, like, oh, no, he doesn't know.

It's like if somebody was talking to someone in the crowd before and everybody knows about that person, and then you're doing something completely unrelated and they're like, oh, yeah.

He doesn't know that like she just lost her husband.

Yeah.

I'm just doing my five-minute widow bit.

Yeah.

Yeah, but that's the fun stuff.

Yeah.

That's what that's what Charlemagne loves.

He's just so, he's like, at his core, he's like a real like comedian at his core.

Like to the point like he'll love bomb.

like watch watching people bomb.

He like really likes that.

I think it's like a full emotion to him.

And so at the end of the show in Rehab, we brought Alex Media's on the show, and he had to do one joke in front of everybody.

And like, the joke is pretty good.

Alex is a black dude, and he's like, you know, it's cool to be here.

You know, I'll be honest, like, I see these outfits, and it's the only time I'm surrounded by guys in white sheets that I don't feel like they're going to kill me.

Something like that.

Like, some little cutesy joke.

And then Charlemagne goes, nah, bro.

Like, they're treating you like the autistic kid that gets it going in the fourth quarter.

The ball boy for that.

That joke wasn't it, bro.

He's like, uh-uh-uh.

They think that you have autism, and they're giving you a shot at the end of the season.

That's funny.

That's funny.

Yeah, he's a funny dude.

There's a lot of funny people that don't get into comedy.

It's interesting.

I've known quite a few that are like, man, you're really a comedian and you never really got after it.

You know, there's a bunch of people like that.

I used to work for a guy who was a private investigator.

yeah was the funniest fucking dude i had ever been around in my life and i was trying to be a comedian at the time i was an open micer i was 21 yeah and uh his name was dick dolan dave dolan rather he call he call himself dynamite dickless dave dolan that was his name he's a whenever i have a mess i have a phone that i kept it's uh an iphone like 10 or some shit like that and i kept that phone just because i have a voicemail on there from him before he died yeah he's like joe rogan it's dynamite dickless Dave Dolan.

How you doing, buddy?

And like, he was just a funny fucking dude.

He was hilarious.

And I would, uh, we would catch mostly people that were doing insurance fraud.

Oh, as a he was a private investigator.

And I worked for him.

And the way I worked for him.

As a PI?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was looking for a job and different things to do to make money while I was doing stand-ups.

And he had this ad for, it was private

investigator's assistant.

I was like oh that sounds exciting really what it was is he had lost his license drunk driving and he needed someone to drive his car around because he still had to work

and so I met him and he was friend or his cousin was Bill Downs who owned the comedy connection so he was related like we just

we hit it no it was in Boston at the time oh and then it eventually went to Fannie Hall and then now it's the Wilbur Theater but that was

Bill Blum and Wright eventually bought it from them.

But

Bill Downs and Paul Barkley were the original owners of the Comedy Connection.

And so I and I was like, how are you not a comedian?

Like, you're the funniest fucking guy I know.

He was, he's not interested.

He was just funny.

But he would, like, we would like catch people doing stuff.

Most of it is like insurance fraud, but we'd have to like wait.

for them in front of their house at like four o'clock in the morning for them to get up and have like a fake job where they were like pretending to be disabled I've hurt my back at work but really they were roofing somewhere and we would catch them and

and so we would be just in the car just me and him and we would just talking shit and he was I would be crying and I remember I was dating this girl and I went over her place afterwards I was like this guy is so much funnier than me and he has no desire to be a comedian yeah it's it's like it's weird like he's a a natural comic just

funny all the time

you know had this I don't give a fuck I'm never getting married you know he like he always cheated on his girlfriends didn't care he let them know like

i'm not like

he acted like a drunk even when he was sober yeah yeah even when he was sober he was like he kept that whole we're on a bender mentality he just was sober yeah and rode that bitch right into the rocks rode that fucking boat right into the shore god bless him and then died god bless him yeah he was a fun dude man like one of the most fun people i've ever been friends with in my life Some of the most naturally funny people, I think, aren't comedians.

Yes, a lot.

In the hang.

And it's a different art.

Like, when you got to do it on stage, there's different expectations and it changes thing.

But just in the hang, yeah, they're just almost like unaware they're funny.

Right.

They're not even trying to make you laugh.

Right.

You know, it's just kind of, yeah, it's like an effortless to them.

And some of them, you know, that do try to do comedy like that never figure out how to translate it, which is really weird.

I think it's a, it's almost too easy for them in conversation, so they don't do the work to transition it to stage.

Or they have this idea of what they're supposed to be on stage, and it's very different than what they are when they're with their friends.

That's the first thing I tell young comics that ask for advice.

I just go, how are you funniest around the people you're most comfortable with?

Like, are you telling stories?

Are you self-deprecating?

Are you kind of roasting?

Like, the people you're most comfortable with, how are you funny?

And

that I think is like the easiest way to access like your voice or whatever we call it, and and then just add 10 years of trying to figure that out.

Yeah.

But like, you're right.

Some people like try to put on a cadence of what they think a stand-up will talk about.

And it's normal in the beginning.

Like, you're just trying to figure this shit out.

You sound like a tell.

Exactly.

Like, in New York, everybody sounded like a tell.

Like, when I was coming up, a tell was even the way that they would do act out sounds.

It was all versions of a tell.

And like, naturally, you're going to gravitate to the best guy in what he's doing.

And I'm sure, like, in L.A., everybody was trying to be Dane or something like that.

It's like a bunch of guys who are trying to be Chappelle.

Chappelle, yeah.

And it's like, yeah, that makes sense.

Patrice would say that you're his babies.

I got a bunch of babies out there.

Oh, I mean, I was a baby of Patrice for sure.

Like, I remember seeing him and just going, like, oh my God, this is the highest form.

Joey Diaz was the best example of a guy who one day figured it out.

Joey Diaz was the funniest guy in the parking lot.

The funniest.

The funniest guy in the hang.

If you were in the back bar, he was the funniest.

He was holding court.

Everybody was dying.

We were falling on the ground laughing.

When he would get on stage, he would try to be a comedian.

He would try to set up punchline, tell a joke, I got a little joke for you.

And then one day, he gave up.

He gave up on being cast in movies.

He gave up on the dream of having a sitcom, and he got real fat.

Like when I first met Joey, he was built like a linebacker.

He was a tank, and he's fresh out of jail.

You know, it was a different Joey.

Jail beef.

He was Scary Joey.

And Scary Joey

gave in to Fat Joey.

And then Mitzi Shurstart calling him Fat Baby.

And that's all she would put him on as on the lineup.

It wouldn't be Joey Diaz.

It would be Fat Baby.

She wanted to call him Fat Baby.

Oh, so he would lean into this.

She had this idea of changing his name to Fat Baby.

Yeah.

You know, she named people, right?

She named Carlos Mencia.

What do you mean?

She came up with that name.

That's not his real name?

No, it's not his real name.

His name is Ned.

It's like Ned Holness or something like that.

She came up with the idea of him having that name.

Yeah.

That was part of the whole video of me, like, exposing him.

Yeah.

I was like, you're not even Mexican.

And the Mexicans in the crowd were like, what?

Yeah.

I mean, he's close.

Honduran.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Half German, half Honduran.

But whatever it is.

It's a bus stop.

The thing is, Mitzi named him.

And so Mitzi would name people.

And she wanted to name Joey Fat Baby.

And so the old lineups, I got some old lineups from the comedy store.

And one of them, it says Fat Baby.

I love it.

I love it.

But when he got fat, dude,

when he started not giving a fuck, then he would go on stage,

I mean, all of a sudden, he went from not having good sets, you know, to kind of maybe it was a pretty good set to destroy liberating, destroy.

He was free, yeah.

He got free and he became the guy on stage that he was in the back.

It was also around the time where marijuana, medical marijuana, started like really popping off in L.A.

So Joey was on like 500 milligram Shiba chews on it.

Just letting it go.

Just

obliterate, obliterated, and dosing people on his podcast.

And he was just a full-on maniac and the absolute best guy to take on the road with you.

There was no one better.

You take him on the road with you.

You guarantee you were having a party everywhere you go.

It was a party at dinner.

It's a party hanging out at the hotel afterwards.

It's a party.

Joey Diaz is there.

We're having fun.

And, you know, and he just figured out how to be that guy on stage.

And then he became Joey Diaz.

But it was like, everybody watched it happen.

like, whoa, I've never seen anybody just figure it out like that.

Where like you went from being a four or a five to a 10 immediately to a 10 to where people are lining up in the back of the room going, what the fuck, man?

Holy shit.

Did something happen like, did something happen culturally where what he was doing was refreshing too?

Or do you really think he just changed?

He figured it out.

He just figured, he just didn't, he stopped, I stopped giving a fuck.

I stopped giving a fuck about those fucking people yeah i was worried about those people you're gonna give me a job i want to i want a job i was a fucking convict yeah i had to be careful yeah you know and then all of a sudden he's like these people ain't giving me shit fuck these people yeah you know and that was like right around the time ironically that he did the longest yard So he got started getting movies, started getting all kinds of things

because he didn't give a fuck anymore.

And all of a sudden, he was just so funny that he was undeniable.

And then when you're undeniable, all those opportunities pop up.

That's the other thing.

It's like, I think

sometimes I hear comics talk about the importance of networking, and I'm like, it's so easy to network when you're funny.

Yeah, like once you're funny, people want to talk to you.

Like once they admire what you're doing on that stage, they want to hang out.

The people that are not funny, now you got to fucking hang out every single second and network and shit.

But the worst is the networking people that aren't funny that are always trying to get work.

And you're like, hey, if I wanted to give you work, I would ask.

Yeah.

Like, you're doing the wrong kind of work.

You're doing the network work and not doing the why am I not funny funny enough work.

Yeah.

What's missing?

Why do I not have an audience?

Like why do people not want to go see me again?

Like what is that?

Yeah.

I mean, yeah,

they will see you again if you give them a good show.

If you give them a good show.

But if you don't, it's like,

there's a lot of comedy out there, kids.

There is a lot of comedy out there.

A lot of comedy out there.

Yeah.

I don't know.

That's why like.

I'm like kind of strict on you just got to give them something new every time you go in.

Like I feel strongly about it because it's like if they see the same thing twice and I'm talking about when I'm going out on a show.

Yeah, to a new market.

Yeah.

A market that you've been to.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's very important.

It's expensive.

Yeah.

Like shit,

it's not cheap to go out to a show.

Right.

Like so if they're getting a babysitter, they're doing the whole thing and then they see the thing they saw before.

It's like maybe they have a good time, but there's a little part of them they feel maybe taking advantage of in some way.

Well, some of them though want to see bits again.

Like that's like the hot pockets thing with Gaffigan.

But I feel like they want to see that.

And a bunch of other stuff.

Yes.

Like if you're giving them 45 of just new heat that they haven't heard before, and then at the end...

You tell the machine story.

They love it.

Yeah.

And then you get to live in the nostalgia of it.

You get to take your friend that you told this story to or this joke.

It's so funny.

I hope he does it.

And then you get to watch them experience it.

Yeah.

It's like sharing a clip with them on Instagram and just watching them laugh.

Right.

So you get to experience that.

But like the whole hour, nah.

You got to have something new.

We got to.

We got to, we got to get, at least for me, I'm like, that is, that's why I take time off.

I'm like, I got to do it.

Well, that's the difference between comedy and music, right?

That's why it's so wild.

Music, I don't want your new shit.

Right.

Stop with the new songs, Rolling Stones.

Imagine Oasis is doing a whole new album.

You know what I mean?

Like, you could go, here's a new one, but I need to hear the hits.

Right.

And that, yeah, music just has so much more, like, such a great shelf life.

It's just, if a song is high.

They have such a shelf life, they have cover bands.

And we want to watch them?

Yeah.

Yeah, I remember anytime in LA, there was a cover band for

what the fuck was it?

It was some 80s cover band.

I don't know.

They were just playing all these fun little 80s hits.

And it was a thing that it would sell out.

People would go to one of these venues and they go and they enjoy and they dress up in stupid 80s shit.

It became almost like, what is that music?

What is that?

What is that movie that people would go see in the East Village

Rocky Horror Picture Show?

Remember that?

You're almost like part of the performance in a way.

You're leaning into

this costumization of what's happening.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I mean, I don't know.

It's a different art form, obviously.

But that's the beautiful thing.

It's like something could go down today,

you know, and then you can go on stage with it tonight.

And everybody's like, oh, shit.

I actually,

I almost like, don't like it when there's nothing to talk about initially.

Right.

Like, I would rather like the thing.

A new thing.

We talk about it for at least a minute, and then we're on the same page.

Because the first minute of comedy, like, it is an odd thing.

I'm on a stage, you're all sitting.

Yeah, I'm going to talk as if we're having a conversation, but you're not really allowed to talk.

Right.

A minute in, we forget that.

Right.

You know, it's like you're watching Top Gun or something and you're like, I'm real.

This is real.

And I'm in the movie.

But that first minute, but what's great is when there is some sort of controversy or some big news story and like everybody's thinking about it and they're going, is he going to talk about it?

Like, I'm sure anytime you went through something and the first time you hit the stage, you can feel them.

Yeah.

Like waiting for you to address it.

Yeah.

That's to me.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, that's the best.

That's the best.

Yeah.

That's the best.

Well, that was Tony after his cancellation.

Like, he went in hot.

And his bits tightened up, too, because he couldn't have any fat in him.

Because now people

want you to fall.

Yeah.

They want you to fall in your face.

Yeah.

I think that's a good.

I think that's good to have.

Oh, yeah.

You shouldn't get comfy.

Oh, yeah.

It's real good.

You need some haters.

Yeah, it's motivation.

Yeah.

I'm going to make this show so sharp that

you're going to have to say something else.

Or not.

Or, you know, look stupid.

Yeah, but they're never going to not say something, but they'll be like, oh, but it's this, but it's that.

But it's like, you're not going to talk about the thing that we all care about.

Yeah.

Yeah, exactly.

There's one thing we all care about, bro.

Paddle.

You're so addicted.

I saw your bag.

I was like, what's in the bag?

I'm going after it.

I'm going to play with your boy after this.

Who?

Who are you playing with?

Woody Harrelson is like big into it.

Oh, yeah, he is.

And so we're going to go play.

I think think he's like, you know, building a club out here.

What's he building?

A paddle club?

Yeah, I think where he's invested in one of the clubs that's

going out here.

That's amazing.

People get upset.

It's like golf in that way.

People just get obsessed with it.

Yeah.

You got to pick the things that you get obsessed with, though.

You can't have too many of those things.

I know, because our wives won't allow it.

Yeah.

Also, life is just, you don't have so much time.

Unfortunately, my things take a lot of time.

Like, pool one takes a lot of time.

Being in the forest.

Yeah, it takes a lot of time.

It takes a week.

Yeah.

I love when I text you like out of the blue and I just get a picture of you in like a foxhole

like this fucking sweaty grainy picture.

I sent you a picture of me hunting pigs.

Yeah, yeah.

I was in a ground blind.

That's it.

Yeah.

I'm in a ground blind right now.

Yeah.

And you're still talking shit.

Yeah, I had cell phone service

talking shit while I was waiting for pigs to come out.

Where was it?

That was in Texas.

It was in Texas.

Yeah, that was out here, man.

Yeah.

You need to get rid of them, right?

Aren't they?

Oh, yeah.

They're a real problem.

I got a lease where me and a bunch of buddies have a lease on this big piece of uh hunting land, yeah, and we go out there

and you know, it's you literally have to kill pigs and you turn them into sausage, and then I give it to my boys.

I bring it down to the mothership.

I brought them coolers of elk meat the other night, yeah, and everybody's like grabbing elk sausage, bring it home, send me pictures of them cooking it.

That clip of you and Burr when you gave Burr the elk meat.

I think it was on like a Kill Tony at the store or something.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Does it make you aggressive?

And then they're just like, No,

no, Joe.

You were so hype for him to be like, yes, yes.

Tony said it did.

I gave him some elk meat.

Yeah, and then he went on stage at the fucking Trump rally.

Yeah,

no, it was the other night.

The other night I gave him some and he's like, dude, I ate it.

I got all this energy.

I just felt it.

It's like a wild animal.

I go, yeah, exactly.

Like, you're eating the essence of a wild forest horse.

Yeah.

A forest horse that has swords growing out of its head.

Yeah.

It's got spears growing out of its fucking head.

Screaming in the woods.

How's the other thing?

When you did ARPOD, there was like a compilation of the animal sounds you make, which is the funniest fucking clip I've ever seen.

Like you were getting, because we got high.

You came in hot, like you had the mushrooms rolling, we were smoking weed, and then you just started talking about bears, and all of us are just like open mouthed.

These fucking claws are coming.

The wild world is like you should be in touch with that everybody should be in touch with that people have a ridiculous idea what the wild world is a buddy of mine sent me a video that his buddy took of he's in colorado and he's driving down the street i'll send it to you jamie he's in colorado driving down the street and he sees a fucking mountain lion take out

a deer right on the side of the fucking highway.

Yeah.

I'm going to send this to you, Jamie, right now.

This is like...

I'm domesticated.

Any of these people that like, mountain lions,

they're a part of the ecosystem.

Like, these are wild monsters that live in the...

Do you see the one that I got in the lobby?

Do you see the mountain lion in the lobby?

The big stuffed mountain lion?

But that's what we've always had.

No, no, no, that's the one.

The mountain lion is new.

The actual mountain lion.

I didn't see it.

My friend Adam Greentree shot it in Colorado.

Okay.

And it was.

killing cows, like slaughtering cows on this ranch in Colorado.

Like, look at this.

This is the side of the...

Give me some volume on this.

Listen to this.

Look at this deer.

This mountain lions got it by the neck

and he's trying to drag his wave free

He got out and then this dude helped him with the horn

Every now and then the good guys win

Ain't that crazy?

But that's on the side of the road in Colorado.

Like that could be a hiker 100%.

100% that could be a hiker.

It's a little lady, some small lady, some 100-pound lady that's walking around, you know?

Are they the good guys, though?

I've thought about that.

The mountain lions?

No, the deer.

No.

Like, the predators.

Yeah, but it's like...

They've evolved to escape these guys, and that's why they're still around.

So they have a competitive advantage over the predators, or else they just wouldn't exist.

No.

But I guess what I'm trying to say is like...

They don't have an advantage.

They're just hard to kill.

Okay, they're hard to kill, but they've evolved to be hard to kill.

But they get killed every day.

Sure, sure, sure, sure.

But like a lot of times they're going for the weak, they're going for the wounded or going for the babies because if you go for like the big dogs, it's going to be more difficult.

You're going to expend more energy to kill them.

Right.

But I look at the predators and I'm like, they can't eat grass.

Right.

Like they would love to eat grass.

Grass is an easier life.

It's everywhere.

Unfortunately, they have to go attack these animals that have the swords coming out of their head.

So there is a version where I look at it and I'm like, who's really burdened here?

Yeah, but the deer don't have the swords coming out of their head to fight off mountain lions.

It's just...

They don't use them for mountain lions.

They use them to fight each other.

Just to fuck females.

Yeah, it's just a dominance thing so they could show the females that they're the dominant males.

They have the biggest racks and they smash racks with other deer.

But they don't use it at all as defense against predators?

No, not really.

I mean, that's stupid.

They're not smart.

Yeah.

They're wary, but they're not intelligent.

They're not like clever.

Yeah.

You know, mountain lions are clever.

Wolves are really clever.

Yeah, I don't fuck with the wolves, man.

Wolves are really clever.

They have some sort of psychic communication with each other.

Oh,

you think that?

Yeah, they coordinate, and they don't know exactly how they do it, but they figure out traps.

Well, like, one wolf will come in, and they'll have other wolves flank the animals.

So the animals start to scatter, and the wolves come in from the sides and get them.

Coyotes do the same thing.

And they'll hunt humans, too, right?

They used to.

They used to a lot.

I mean, World War I, they actually had a ceasefire between the Russians and the Germans because the wolves are killing so many people.

They decided we have to stop and kill wolves.

So they came together, took out the wolves.

Yeah.

And then they just started killing them.

Yeah, because you got to realize they're in trench warfare, right?

So people get shot and they're bleeding, and the wolves smell the blood.

So the wolves were, they would hear guys getting torn apart in the middle of the night by wolves.

The wolves had made it their way into the foxholes and were just ripping guys apart.

Ah!

Ah!

Imagine you're lying in a trench and you hear that like 100 yards away, a guy getting eaten alive by wolves.

How much do you think people knew

about war during World War I?

Very little, right?

I mean, they knew war existed, but they didn't know.

There's no footage, right?

There's no photographs.

There's just a concept.

And they're just being fed like propaganda constantly from their own countries.

I just, I like wonder what happens when all those guys come home and they're clearly traumatized, but everybody else has just been consuming the propaganda about just, oh, look what these doing, and they're fighting for us, and everything is amazing, and we're winning the war, and all this positivity that's probably emanating through news.

And then these guys come home and they start sharing, like, the actual stories.

Right.

Like, ugh.

Well, they just come back shell-shocked.

Like, you ever see Peaky Blinders?

That show?

Yeah, I watched a couple seasons when I think Cormick McCarthy was directing.

No, no.

Am I getting that name right?

I might be messing with it.

But yeah, Cormac Carthy's the author, right?

Oh, no, so I'm thinking of a a different guy.

Yeah, did he do Angela's Ashes?

Cormick McCarthy, there's the craziest

craziest headline of all time is connected to Cormac McCarthy.

I'm gonna send Jamie this.

Look at this headline.

This is an article from the Atlantic.

This might be literally the craziest headline that anyone has ever put in an article before.

You don't have to pull it up.

It's just a headline of an article.

Cormac McCarthy's ex-wife pulled a gun out of her vagina during an argument about aliens.

Little 38?

Probably a 22.

Yeah, we didn't know.

We didn't know what he said about aliens.

It was probably a little Derringer, one of them little two-shot, little tiny pistols you could stick in your cooter.

To have a gun in your pussy is crazy.

What?

They were having an argument about aliens.

She's like, I'm not hearing anymore.

Why was it enough, motherfucker?

But why was it in there?

Because they're drunk as fuck.

They're probably having a good time.

Most writers, I think, like, especially old-timey writers,

Hemingway was a big drunk.

I think those people party, like Hunter S.

Thompson, craziest of all.

I think those people party.

Stephen King, when he was in his prime, cocaine, alcohol, all those people that wrote great shit, they were all out of their fucking head.

What is crazier than two that she went

Dude's change?

McCarthy went into her bedroom and emerged wearing lingerie.

Her boyfriend probably thought, oh, great, reconciliation, sex time.

Sorry for being skeptical of your out-of-body experience, hun.

Until McCarthy pulled a Swift and Wesson out of her vagina and proceeded to have intercourse with the gun.

I don't know why intercourse.

Asking her boyfriend, who's crazy, you or me?

So she's fucking herself with the gun.

Yeah, okay.

exercise my kind of gal

yeah

what

who's crazy you or me while you have a gun in your pussy um you got it you got it

so she was she was telling him about having some sort of an alien abduction experience and he didn't want to believe he thought she was crazy so she's like i'll show you

Yeah, you win.

You win.

I think you win.

You got abducted.

Yeah.

I'm not arguing.

Bro, she might have.

Yeah.

She might have.

I mean, imagine you get abducted by aliens and you have to tell people and you're like a person who wants to be taken seriously in all other walks of life and you have to tell them that they drained your sperm on a spaceship and showed you hybrids.

That's why I kind of like believe the Lazar dude.

Like when we went to dinner,

he was like shell-shocked a little bit.

100%.

Like he was like reluctant.

Uh-huh.

Do you remember that?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, that's why I brought you.

I was like, like i want to come come sit with me because this is the first time i'm hanging hanging with this guy like i think you and me together would be a fun combination to sit down talk to bobazar and

it was just like it was almost like he didn't want to share it in a lot of ways yeah and

imagine people think you're a kook for 40 years yeah for 40 years people have been thinking you're out of your fucking mind you're a liar you make things up and then Over time, all of a sudden, footage starts emerging in like 2017 of these crafts doing exactly what you described, moving in a way that's exactly like what you were saying.

And then there starts getting these whistleblowers, these David Grushes and Lou Elizondo, say, we have a crash retrieval program.

We've had it for a long time.

The problem is these defense contractors have access to this stuff.

They lied to Congress.

There's misappropriation of funds.

There's a lot attached to this.

And that's why they're not releasing it.

Yeah.

Which is nuts, if that's true.

Yeah.

That's what I always say when people ask me, they're like, I would just be like, I believe he believes it.

Yeah.

I can't say what it is.

Obviously, I'm not there.

I don't know anything.

But, like, I don't think he was a, what are they called?

Like a charlatan or whatever that word is.

Like, I don't think he's making this up for attention.

Right.

I believe he believes what he saw.

Something happened.

He saw something.

And he was a legitimate propulsions expert.

And he really did work for Los Alamos Labs, which is doing all sorts of wild shit.

And then he really did work for Area S4.

Like, somehow or another, he was shipped over there to area 51 site 4 and he says they have ufos he said they have like seven of them

good he said one of them is really old he said they said it was a part of an archaeological dig

here's what's crazy about that i have this guy ben van kirkwick

he um has that youtube page called uh uncharted x and he's um yeah yeah great guy yeah they have found through the use of

ground-penetrating radar, they found these labyrinths in Egypt that are

so fucking huge and underground, like deep underground, but these massive

corridors that lead into these atriums.

And they found a 40-meter-long metallic object that's under the ground

in Egypt.

40 meters long, metallic, some unknown metal that's under the ground.

And it doesn't, whatever it is, they know it's metallic.

It doesn't have any sort of signature that is reminiscent of any other metal that we know about.

It was a specific historical site, I think, that was found in Egypt.

Herodotus talked about it.

What was it called?

I think it's called the Labyrinths.

I think that's how it's referred.

But yeah, this is not like

a figment of people's imagination.

Historically documented throughout time for thousands of years.

And that Herodotus talked about it being greater than the pyramids of Giza.

Underground.

And so in 1960, Ben was telling us in the 60s they built a dam

to help the farmers in the area.

And unfortunately, it raised the water table.

Oh, and that's why it fucked it up and it flooded these labyrinths because otherwise they would have just been able to dig down into it and enter in.

And now it's all filled with water.

Is it filled with water or sediment because of the expansion of the water?

It's both.

And there's sediment, of course, that comes with the water, but there's water.

But then below the water table

is where the labyrinth is.

So he's saying there might be a way that they could tunnel from the side

past where the water comes in, but they don't want to admit that it's real.

Like all these Egyptologists are kind of like

forgot about it.

Ozahi?

Yeah, I saw that.

Yeah, I don't know if that went the way that he thought it was going to go.

It went the way I thought it was going to go.

Yeah, I know.

Gavin, pay attention.

You know what I mean?

It's not going to go as you see it going.

I'm really high on California.

Yeah.

I like how he's like trying to tweet as Trump.

Like, you don't even have your own style.

You're mocking his style to try to tweet.

Trump is kinder than me, bro.

He's also making things up like California derangement syndrome.

Yeah.

No, it's like these are facts.

People are frustrated.

People from out there.

And they have a right to be frustrated.

Don't gaslight your own people.

I think that's upsetting.

Like, if I was from there and I was upset with what was going on and I complained about it and the guy who's in charge says, oh, you're just deranged.

Yeah, listen, you don't see a similar uprising against Florida.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You don't.

Florida boomed economically during COVID.

Yeah.

You know, a lot of people moved there.

Why?

Because they had completely different regulations.

They allowed people to be free.

And now DeSantis is even talking about removing property tax,

which is a game changer.

Because that really is a lot of people.

Can they afford it, though?

I don't know.

I don't understand any of it.

Yeah, me neither.

I don't fucking know.

But like, that is tricky, though.

The idea that like you buy a home and then you continually have to pay the government to own your own home.

How about even worse?

What if you bought a home a long time ago and you paid $20,000 for it in like 1940?

Yeah.

And now all of a sudden it's worth $2 million.

And you have to pay for it.

So you have taxes on $2 million.

Oh, it's not based on...

Different states have different rules.

Okay.

But in some states, you have to pay tax on the amount of money your house is worth.

Is the justification that this is what maintains the streets and this is what maintains the community?

Well, the justification is like, say, if you buy a $2 million home, you should be contributing with your property taxes to schools and all sorts of other things, which totally makes sense.

But the problem is, like, if you're 80 years old and you bought this house for $20,000 and you're on Social Security and now all of a sudden you owe money on something you already bought to a government that does a terrible job of using your money.

Yeah.

Terrible job.

Documented, terrible job of spending your money.

Yeah.

Yeah, I just, I don't know why he's poking the, I don't know why he's poking, man.

I don't know why he's poking also like didn't Trump's kid pipe his wife or whatever

his ex.

Yeah

Well I would have tweeted that

I'm more petty than these motherfuckers that you know what I mean you're not gonna talk shit about me and my voice and my kid piped your wife

That's coming out immediately Why don't you pull my kid's dick out of your wife?

That's my immediate tweet.

Yeah

Interesting.

It's interesting.

I think it's interesting.

I think there's APAC.

I've never thought about it.

It is interesting.

It's interesting.

It's just

interesting.

It's interesting.

You ran short of words, son.

For a guy who's really good at talking, they brought up APAC.

You clammed up right quick.

I was like, real fast.

I never thought about it.

I thought about JPAC, but not APAC.

Definitely thought about it.

Never thought about it.

Never thought about it.

All right, well, interesting.

Now you can think.

Meanwhile, you just passed some sort of

anti-Semitism thing.

Oh, there's another.

Yeah, what was the anti-Semitism thing that they just pushed through?

No, wait a minute.

Was it the one about the schools that they then rebuked it?

Oh, I don't know.

It was just someone was connecting it to.

This is why Gavin, it was a Twitter thing that I was reading.

Someone was saying, oh, this is why Gavin Newsom didn't want to say anything when they were talking about AIPAC.

He wants it bad.

Like, you can tell he wants it bad.

Yeah.

But

it's almost like having less time in government is beneficial to becoming president.

100%.

That's why I think if the Democrats have somebody that's really got a shot, it's that Tallarico guy, James Tallarico.

I think I had him on my podcast.

I think he's legitimate.

I think he's a real deal.

What he says he is is what he is.

Very religious person who has a really good point.

When he talks about Texas, there's these very, very wealthy billionaires that are trying to turn the state into theocracy.

And they want to, that's why they got the Ten Commandments pushed into every school, all the public schools here.

He's like, they want to defund public schools and fund religious schools.

And he's like, these people are dangerous.

This idea is dangerous.

And like, the far right is just as dangerous as the far left.

And if you're on the right and you don't recognize this kind of, this kind of shit is, and this is a really religious guy.

And that's where you trust it even more.

Someone who actually really believes in it, that's pushing back and goes, this is against like the values of our country.

Yes.

He might agree with all those things that they're pushing, but he's like, I don't think it should be governmently enforced in schools.

He's very well versed in the Bible and is literally in seminary right now.

Like this is a guy that's very religious, like legitimately religious and has been his his whole life.

But that's the thing.

You need to shake shit up and you especially need to shake shit up with your own party.

I mean that's what Trump did with Republicans.

That's what any candidate that ends up winning does is you have to be like the candidate of rebellion to a certain extent.

Like you've even seen what's happening in New York right now.

Like

you could hate every policy that Mamdani has,

but you can't deny that he's at least saying things that tap into the concerns and frustrations of New Yorkers.

Right.

You left those people out of the conversation.

Exactly.

And now the chickens have come home to roost.

There it is.

So it's like, I will not at all,

I won't at all criticize him for trying to fix problems that people have when the other guys there are just saying, we're not going to do anything.

Yeah.

I think it was a lot of times the frustrations with the last election.

It's just like people were frustrated with Biden.

They just didn't think that he was all there.

They didn't know who was running the country and they didn't like what was happening.

And then she came in and she wouldn't separate herself at all.

So that's on you.

Like you have to give people, you have to give people hope.

And oftentimes hope is being the candidate of rebellion.

and that usually is what ends up winning do you see the people ragging on her conversation with kara swisher she was on stage with kara swisher and she even kara swisher was kind of like ragging on her a little bit she was like uh you know uh a lot of some people said that i was the most qualified person to ever run for president like

who said that and kara's like some people said that like who said that you were literally running against a guy who was already president so if you're if you're going if you're going based on your resume you're not more qualified than Biden.

Biden was the vice president of the United States for eight years.

Best thing for the Republican Party right now is her book tour.

Because every time she talks on camera, there's a reminder as to why she lost.

When she went away for a while, I think you could be like, you could pretend about what she was and what she stood for.

But the second she does an interview and she's like, yeah, I couldn't have Pete be my vice president, he's a gay.

And then Rachel Mallow is like, what do you mean?

She's like, No, I'm not exactly saying, but he likes guys.

Yeah, you're like, What is going on right now?

Right, it's too risky, it's too risky, yeah.

How dare you say Merry Christmas!

How dare you!

It's like the same thing, man.

Do you see her Columbus Day message to America?

What was the Columbus Day message?

Oh, God.

It was like, Don't forget the horrors that the Europeans did to the okay, Jesus Christ.

Did he even get here?

Scolding.

Did he get here or not?

Columbus?

No.

No.

Did not get here.

No.

So take that up up with the Dominican Republic or whatever.

Wherever he landed.

That's what I'm saying.

It's like...

But it wasn't Columbus necessarily.

I mean, the idea is, I think it's Indigenous Peoples Day.

I think it stopped being Columbus Day after a while.

Yeah.

And they call it Indigenous Peoples' Day,

which makes sense.

Yeah, I mean, like, shout out to them.

I think it's funny when governments do these things with like

enforced care.

Like, anytime I'm performing in Canada, like, if it's on, like, an Indigenous area, they make me do like a land acknowledgement.

And I remember the first time they told me, I was like, you want me to do what?

And they're like, yeah, we want you to let them know that this used to be native land.

And I'm like, I remember telling it to like the chief of the tribe.

And I'm like, brother, that kind of seems like I'm bragging.

Like, I'm going up there and be like, yo, this used to be yours, but the boys came in.

Got y'all the fuck out of here.

Like, you really want me to go and remind everybody what happened before the comedy show?

You know what my favorite part about that is?

It's a land acknowledgement, but also saying, we're not giving it back.

That's what I'm saying.

We stole it, but but it's ours now.

So what do we do?

Who are we doing this for?

Sorry.

We're going to acknowledge the fact that we're on stolen land.

But the thing is, these people that go along with that are also the same people that want no borders.

And no one's illegal being anywhere.

Like, Christopher Columbus is the only immigrant they hate.

Yo, that was...

That's no borders.

You know, no one's illegal.

Hey, listen, but yeah, these people shouldn't have been here.

We let a Spanish-speaking guy into America once.

Went great.

Can't feel it.

Ended the Mayan Empire.

They gave them all fucking diseases.

Jesus Christ.

No, it's hilarious.

Think about what they did, what Cortez did to Mexico.

I know.

Like, my God.

I know.

It's nuts.

Yeah, fucked up.

Yeah, it's like, yeah, human beings did that, but also, yeah, bad.

The diseases, the slaughter, also, what they did to each other was horrible.

Yeah, I mean, human beings do fucked up shit.

Yeah, and always have.

We're here now.

What are we going to do now?

That's my worry.

So what are we going to do now?

It's like you go into the doctor, you got lung cancer, and the doctor's like, let's talk about all them cigarettes you were smoking.

And it's like, why don't we talk about all that chemo you're going to give me?

Like, tell me what we're going to do now to get rid of this shit.

Right.

Don't tell me about what I did.

I know what I did.

Yeah.

All right, brother.

Go play some fucking paddle.

This is fun.

You got to come.

This is

today.

I got too much shit to do.

All right, fine.

One of these days.

I'm getting one of these days.

I'll go out there with you.

Anyway, I love you, Doc.

I love you too, brother.

Always good to hang.

Always great to hang.

Yes, sir.

Amen.

Yes, sir.

All right.

Bye, everybody.

Peace.