#2402 - Miranda Lambert

Speaker 0 Joe Rogan podcast, check it out!

Speaker 1 The Joe Rogan experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.

Speaker 1 I hate my desk. The desk is a mess because my mind is a mess.
I wish my mind were. You're a creative.
That's how it works. Is that how it works? Yeah, I think so.
Is that the excuse we use?

Speaker 1 I'm trying to make myself feel better.

Speaker 1 I think that's the excuse we use for each other. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm a creative.

Speaker 1 It's my go-to default uh is the compression on something sounds weird yeah oh it's just really loud something happened maybe my ears got better what happened you can hear now my ears aren't very good sometimes i you know when i'm underwater for too long or i swim or something like that and then i forget that my ears have water in them and then they come out like oh there's that moment where like oh this is how i hear

Speaker 1 I feel like I have the in-ear monitors for my job.

Speaker 1 Oh, right.

Speaker 1 I still, like, I've been using them for, I don't know, 20 years and i'm still not used to them like i've come from like honky tonk world where you can hear everything yeah hear the room well it's so good that people have them now because boy so many people i know from back in the day are almost deaf oh yeah we i'm so glad we have them it's not the same I mean, you don't feel the energy of the room, but it's available hearing.

Speaker 1 We just don't. It's a good trade-off.

Speaker 1 You can hear it enough. It's a good trade-off.
And so many of my friends who shoot guns, too, same same thing. You know, that started hunting when they were kids and no ear protection back then.

Speaker 1 And, you know, you say something to them and they're like, what? Like, they're all half deaf. Yeah.
My dad was a police officer and he's, I swear that's why my parents are so married.

Speaker 1 Because he can't hear it all.

Speaker 1 And the dog ate his hearing aid and he never replaced it. And I'm like, is that on purpose, dad? That's hilarious.
That's hilarious. Yeah, you definitely develop an ability to shut things off.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Otherwise. Because men and women think and communicate differently.
And if you want your wife to communicate with you the way your buddies do, then well, you married a dude. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 1 So if you want to be married to a woman, you have to listen. Like, listen.
And everything. Both ears.

Speaker 1 And sometimes it's like a roundabout journey to get to the point and you can't go, what the fuck are you talking about? Because then they're like, oh my God, why are you so hostile?

Speaker 1 So you have to go, okay. Okay.
Selective hearing. Yeah, selective hearing.
But my husband will like, I'll say it and I'll be like, say it back to me.

Speaker 1 And like, and I found that when I do that, it's worse. I'm like, I'm like, say, say what I said back to you.
Get bananas at the store. So he comes home.
I'm like, where's bananas? I didn't get any.

Speaker 1 So don't repeat it. Just hold it in there.

Speaker 1 That's hilarious. He blocked it out for himself.
Yeah, exactly. That's very funny.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 The hearing thing is kind of nuts that no one knew. Like, it just makes you wonder.
Like, when did people, I wonder when people were aware that like loud music was gonna kill your hearing?

Speaker 1 I don't know like

Speaker 1 just I mean I've I've had the in-ears for a long time and they did save all of our ears, but it's like I think that and then like the longer you go like still even though I have those like I turn them up way too loud

Speaker 1 I'm like missing right the energy

Speaker 1 just say fuck it for this show pick one out like sometimes when it's like a house band you just get to use wedges I'm like yes it's amazing what's a wedge it's just like the little on-stage monitor.

Speaker 1 Oh, you know what I mean? So, but it's just so loud. I mean, it's so loud.
And

Speaker 1 I also do, um, I do mounted shooting, and so I saw that. That's crazy.
And so, it's a good reminder. Like, the first time I took off on the first, I just started it last year.

Speaker 1 I'm not good at all, but I love it. And I took off on my horse, and I forgot to wear your plugs.
And I was like, well, I'm a musician.

Speaker 1 I should probably plug my ears when I'm shooting a revolver off of a horse. Yeah, but it's, is it a revolver using a regular bullet?

Speaker 1 No? It's black powder. Just the powder itself? Yep.

Speaker 1 Spectator safe, horse safe. So it just sprays

Speaker 1 powder

Speaker 1 at the balloon. And it pops balloons.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What distance?

Speaker 1 It could shoot, I think, 15 yards? Feet. Feet.
Oh, okay. Yeah.
So you're just riding around the horse popping balloons.

Speaker 1 I love it.

Speaker 1 I do.

Speaker 1 What was the origin of that sport? I don't know, actually. One of my best friends, her name is Kenda Lonsane, and she lives out in Scottsdale.
She's like the 10-time world champion.

Speaker 1 Whoa, whoa, hold on.

Speaker 1 She's the world championship of popping balloons on a horse? Yeah, it's called mounted shooting. And cowboy mounted shooting, but she's cowgirl, and she's like, guys, girls, everybody.
She's a badass.

Speaker 1 And I became friends with her, and I just never had the guts to go do it, you know? And finally, my husband was like, stop talking about it and go out there and do it. Go out there and shoot with her.

Speaker 1 You're going to love it. Wow.
And I got addicted immediately.

Speaker 1 It's just like something different well it's very wild west right it's essentially training how to fight with a gun on a horse yeah that's all it is except it's the balloon is the yeah

Speaker 1 but i mean it's that's how you would train yeah right without killing people and it's like you know just something that like started a new hobby at 40 like it's just try to like

Speaker 1 preoccupy my mind and and

Speaker 1 I don't know, I think it inspires me to like take a break from thinking about what I think about every single day, which is music industry, you know, so just like trying new things and

Speaker 1 saying what the hell, let's go for it. I think that's very good for artists.
I try to talk to comedians about that all the time. I'm like,

Speaker 1 pick up something, man. Yeah, like hobbies are play golf, go fishing, do something.
For me, I play pool, do something. I just started golf, too.
I mean, my try new things era.

Speaker 1 Did you try new things era? Yes, my yes era. Like, sure, I'll do it.

Speaker 1 Started golf. Not too great yet, but I did.
I just played the Ryder Cup. Oh, nice.
They had like a celebrity.

Speaker 1 Somebody heard I played golf, and when they heard that, I literally started like that day. Jamie's a nut.
Jamie's a full-on golf nut.

Speaker 1 Literally was like cramming my ass off like this September because I was on tour all summer and I didn't have time to practice. And you know how that feels? Like golf is, you have to practice.

Speaker 1 Do you have a coach? I had a coach, yes. Dan, I have a coach, and he came with me as my caddy.
Very helpful.

Speaker 1 But it was, it was an experience. It was a lot of pressure.

Speaker 1 Did you feel it, even though, like, nobody expected you to win? Like, yeah, I mean, I just felt like, what, what, what the hell have I done when I got there?

Speaker 1 It's like playing doing something you don't do in front of people, right? A lot of people do it, you just don't do it a lot, yeah.

Speaker 1 And I don't do things in front of people, but singing you do things in front of the people, and you're really good at it. That's the difference.

Speaker 1 Well, that's the thing doing something that you suck at in front of people is a very scary place to be, right? Right,

Speaker 1 Jamie has O.J. Simpsons golf clubs,

Speaker 1 a couple of them. Not all of them.
I have a few. How many do you have? It's not really awesome at all.

Speaker 1 They're haunted. Whatever you're into.

Speaker 1 How many have you got? Three? No, I mean, I got a whole set.

Speaker 1 Do you use them? I use one of them.

Speaker 1 Did you hit well? I have. That's why I use it.

Speaker 1 Well, are they blessed or cursed?

Speaker 1 Well, he bought it as a goof. Yeah, it's just fun to talk about.
It's a fun

Speaker 1 conversation starter. It came up.
Did you get him after he died? Yeah, yeah. I mean, I got him like six months ago.
Yeah. I forgot.
I forgot when he died. A couple years ago.

Speaker 1 Well, that's cool. I mean, hey.

Speaker 1 I guess. But it is really important having some kind of a thing that you do to take your mind off of the business.

Speaker 1 Because the people that I know where their mind is only on show business, whatever it is, music, comedy, whatever it is, they go crazy. You can eventually get lost in your own little world.

Speaker 1 You need a little break. You do.
And I think it's like, you know, especially if you're like a writer, like, you got to go live to write about it.

Speaker 1 Or what are you writing about? Same shit you already said. Right.
You know, right.

Speaker 1 It's like, I need to go live a life and gather information and be around different people and sort of open my circle up to just, I don't know. Different experiences.
Yeah, a different environment.

Speaker 1 Yeah. My friend Ari does that.
He disappears for like three months every year and a half or so. Like he gets rid of his phone, gets rid of his email.
He like goes off grid. Oh, he goes off grid.

Speaker 1 He goes to Asia. He backpacks through Asia.
And he's famous. He's a famous comedian.
And he doesn't give a fuck. He just goes and vanishes.

Speaker 1 We can't find him. No one knows where he is.
I don't hear from him for like three, four months. I just hope he's alive.
Does it change him? Oh, yeah, he comes back weird. He's weird already.

Speaker 1 He's weird as well.

Speaker 1 He's weirder when he comes back because he's, you know, been living in foreign countries for, you know, a long time. This episode is brought to you by Uber Eats.

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Speaker 1 Well, I'm not, I mean, I'm just shooting balloons and swinging a golf club. You know, nothing as cool as that.

Speaker 1 But the thing you're doing, the thing about both of those things is they require all of your focus while you're doing.

Speaker 1 I mean, if you're riding a giant animal while you're shooting a gun, like there's no room for thinking about, oh, I got to do laundry. You know, there's no room.

Speaker 1 You just, you're just doing that thing only. Yeah, that's what, that's what I think I loved about it and got addicted to.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, and I guess I don't really have, I always say I don't have like an adrenaline junkie in me, but I guess I'd have to have a little bit for. joining the circus like i did

Speaker 1 you know like yes you do it's kind of joining the circus

Speaker 1 yeah so but like i think that just that little that the focus and the little jolt right that you get of of like you know this the same kind of high we get like after a show you know it's like i still guess i need that but just in a different form yeah joining the rodeo there's there's something about shooting at things too i do archery and there's something about shooting at things that also just really cleans your mind because in that moment while you're pulling a trigger there's no room for anything else if you're trying to hit a target there's no room for anything else and it just it pushes all that stuff away it gives you like a little little mental vacation.

Speaker 1 Yeah, 100%. And then you come back like cleaner.
What kind of bow are you shooting? I shoot a compound bow. A compound bow.
Yeah. A Hoit.
Yeah. Yeah.
I used to shoot bows. I have it a long time, but.

Speaker 1 Oh, really? I got them back out during 2020, went out all the time in the world. And my husband's from New York City.
So I was like, I've got these bows. I'll teach you how to shoot a bow.

Speaker 1 So we just set up the targets and got them all fixed up. And it was fun.
I mean, it is fun. It's the same thing, I think, you're talking about

Speaker 1 focus. It's just, even if it's just for a little while, it's that little moment in time that this is all I'm doing right now.
Right. Have you ever bow hunted? I used to be a hunter.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yep.

Speaker 1 I did. I hunted for a long time.
My dad. Tree stand.
Yep. Okay.
Or ground blind, either way. Right.
Bow hunting was my absolute favorite to do because it took the focus and it was intimate. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And it took a lot of skill and practice

Speaker 1 to make sure you're going to, yeah.

Speaker 1 Whitetail? Whitetail. Oh, nice.
But I raised a baby deer, a buck. Oh, that's a problem.
Yep. That's a problem.
So my hunting days are behind me.

Speaker 1 He sold my heart. We found a buck with a broken leg on our property, and my wife took to feeding it.
Yeah. And

Speaker 1 all of her enthusiasm for me hunting kind of went out the way. It changes things.
Yeah, because it's kind of like a dog. Like, they're

Speaker 1 he was just like a dog. Like, they're sweet.
They grow wild. They're all right up to you.
Wild-ass white-tailed deer became like my pet.

Speaker 1 And it's different than any other feral animal in that they domesticate like that. They really do.
Like he was literally, I'd come home and he would run over to me like a dog.

Speaker 1 So definitely changed my mind.

Speaker 1 Well, I think it's because they're dumb, unfortunately. I think nature has them set up to be not very intelligent and just food.
Yeah. You know, and he's a beautiful food thing.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's really what they are. Yeah, my dad, my dad, you know, I grew up hunting with him, like, taught me how to shoot a gun, all that stuff at 17.

Speaker 1 And when I raised that buck, he was like, it's over, isn't it? Yeah, it's over. It's over.
It's over. Yeah, I'll never raise a baby elk.
I'll tell you that. Yeah, don't do it.

Speaker 1 But I get it. I mean, we have deer in our neighborhood, and I see these little cute babies that are born every year.
And, you know, we stop the car. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Especially in Texas. They're everywhere.
Everywhere. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And there's not any predators out here because you just shoot them. Yeah.
So there's like these deer are all over the place and they're just super unless they get hit by a car.

Speaker 1 I don't know what happens.

Speaker 1 They're like not affected. Yeah.
Anymore. No, no.
But they are beautiful. And it's just, it's cool to have animals around.
Just, it's cool to be at least in some kind of form of nature.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm such an animal lover.

Speaker 1 I mean, I don't do well. Like, that's why I brought your dog toys.
I'm like, I just, I just, I don't know. It's part of like who I am is to have, especially dogs.
Like, that's my, my heart.

Speaker 1 But But me too. I have a foundation called Mutt Nation Foundation.
I started with my mom in 2009, and so far we've raised over $11 million since then.

Speaker 1 It was like a little mom and pop operation back in the day, but

Speaker 1 we just, it just has been my heart since I was a little girl.

Speaker 1 I think growing up in the country where there's just animals everywhere, whether it's deer or stray dogs or stray cats or whatever, I think it just kind of

Speaker 1 prepped me for, you know, when you like get a platform and someone's like, what do you want your charity to be? It's like, oh, well, I know what it's going to be. So, what does your charity do?

Speaker 1 We rescue, well, we advocate for rescue.

Speaker 1 Mutton Nation Foundation, we don't have shelters. We lift up the arms of shelters is what we say, because we, my mom and dad were private investigators my whole life.

Speaker 1 And so, my mom, like, just because we started rescuing dogs just when I was a little girl, you know, you live in the country, people dump them off and whatever, started adopting some from the shelter as a teenager and volunteering.

Speaker 1 And so, you know, she sort of started vetting shelters just because that's her background, you know, checking up on people, make sure they're doing what they're supposed to do. And

Speaker 1 so, like, 2009, it was like, oh, I kind of started to get a name for myself, and you need to pick something that you're passionate about that you want to give back to. So we started it.

Speaker 1 And basically, we advocate for Spay and Neuter, we advocate for Adopt Don't Shop, and we

Speaker 1 raise money to give to shelters all over the country.

Speaker 1 Every year, we give a $5,000 grant to a shelter in every state um and try to not repeat so there's just so many that need help you know and there's so many amazing animals out there we just try to remind people there's amazing animals out there that you don't have to go buy one there's

Speaker 1 if my my wife is allergic and one of my daughters are allergic we still have two dogs but if i if that wasn't the case i'd have like 50 dogs i can't but are yours are not non-shedders what's that yours are shedders though right yeah they shed they They do.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, you just keep them clean. She's not nearly as bad as when I first met her.

Speaker 1 When I first met her, she really would get hives if she pet the dogs, but also I was not that good at washing my dogs. And they were always in the yard playing around, and they were always dirty.
Yep.

Speaker 1 But if you don't have dogs, dogs are like extra love.

Speaker 1 Your love in your life will be whatever the level's at now, it'll be like 35% high. 100% agree.
For sure. I'm allergic to everything I love.
Horses, cats, dogs. You're allergic to horses? All of it.

Speaker 1 I live on Allegra.

Speaker 1 Wow. I'm just like popping Allegra to enjoy my life, but I don't care.
It's worth it.

Speaker 1 One of my daughters is so allergic that we went to Rome once and we were on this horse-driven, they have like those tourist things you do.

Speaker 1 You sit in the back of a wagon, the horse drags around the city. And just being downwind of the horse, her eyes were swelling up.
We had to get out off the horse and walk the rest of the way.

Speaker 1 Then we had to find a pharmacy. It's terrible.
Oh, it was bad. She's got it bad.
Did she do shots or anything? She did that. She did the whole thing, but they hated it, you know.

Speaker 1 And when my wife stopped doing shots, then all of her allergies got way better. And she was doing shots because Texas has a lot of allergens.

Speaker 1 You know, a lot of people that come from places like California, you don't realize it. You come here and then you get whammied with like I was sneezing all the way over here because I just landed.

Speaker 1 You get'em too? You get them too? I just like I live in Nashville half the time and Austin half the time. And I, it's like the two, two of the worst places for allergies.

Speaker 1 I'm like, oh, are they really? Yeah. Oh, it doesn't matter.
I mean, I didn't know that Austin was that bad. And I didn't get them at all until really probably last year.
I started getting them.

Speaker 1 How long have y'all been here? Five years. Five years.
Almost six. So like, no, five.
So like last year I started getting sore throats. And I was like, am I getting sick? What the fuck is going on?

Speaker 1 Then I went to Vegas for the UFC. No sore throats.

Speaker 1 Came back, sore throat again. I'm like, oh, damn it.
It's just an allergy. It's an irritation.
Because it didn't make any sense. I was like, I feel good.
I feel like really healthy. But like

Speaker 1 this thing in my throat's bugging me. I'm like, maybe I just got to be careful.
Maybe I'm fighting off a cold. Because I didn't want to admit it.
I was like, everybody else is getting allergies.

Speaker 1 I'm not getting it allergic. And it makes sense if you're like not used to the trees and the grass here.
I mean, it's like, it's a whole new...

Speaker 1 like ecosystem that you have to get used to. But the weird thing, they say it takes like three years before it hits you.
And I was like, shut up. That doesn't make any sense.
But it's true.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's true. Seems to be true.
Seems to get you after like three years. What do you do about it? Nothing.
Just deal with it. I feel my body's going to adapt.

Speaker 1 I feel like if I just let my body deal with whatever these allergens are and understand what they are, it'll figure it out. I took a lot of vitamins.
It'll be fine. Yeah.
And it seems to be better.

Speaker 1 Like this year I got like a couple sniffles a few days in a row where I was like thinking I had a cold and then I realized it was high something mold or fucking cedar or whatever the hell it is. is.

Speaker 1 You just didn't have to pay attention to it before. Yeah, I guess.
But whatever that is, all the positives about living here like greatly outweigh it. Yeah, I love it too.
This place rolls. It does.

Speaker 1 I'm glad y'all are here. You came in 2020 then, right? Yep.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yep. My little brother lives here and his husband, Mark, and he went to UT and never came home.
Our little town, Lindale, Texas, representing today. Nice.

Speaker 1 It's about 80 miles east of Dallas. And so I bought a place here in 2017 and spent a lot of time in Austin.
It's great. It's a great time.

Speaker 1 I mean, we should probably stop talking about how great it is because people want to move here. Yeah, it's not that great.
There's a lot of allergies, guys. Yeah, guys, stay home.
Don't sneeze.

Speaker 1 I talked to a lot of people into moving here, and I think I'm done talking to people. It's like, we're good.

Speaker 1 Well, Nashville is our other city that that's happening too, but you know, the more the merrier, really. Well, the thing about Austin is like, it wasn't really much of a comedy scene.

Speaker 1 There was one comedy club that closed before I moved here. It had already closed like before the pandemic.
And I guess like at the beginning of the pandemic, it went under.

Speaker 1 And so the comedy scene here was kind of empty. And, you know, when we moved here and we started doing shows here, it was one of the only places in the country where you could do live indoor shows.

Speaker 1 And we were like, fuck it. And then comedians just started moving here because they were convinced that LA was never going to open.

Speaker 1 And once I was here and Ron White was here, Tony Hinchcliffe was here, everybody was like, well, let's fuck it. I want to live.

Speaker 1 I don't want to be trapped in my house and not be able to perform for a year and a half or whatever it's going to be. Yeah.
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Speaker 1 That's great.

Speaker 1 My first show back,

Speaker 1 I think it was after like 332 days

Speaker 1 of no shows, no bus rides. What did it feel? Crazy.
It was at Billy Bob's in Fort Words because, like you said, Texas was like, what, COVID?

Speaker 1 We're going to go do stuff. We're going to honk the tonk right now.
Yeah. So it was, we did a little residency at Billy Bob's.
Nice. We did five shows.
And obviously.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, but I had it before.

Speaker 1 I had it before we even knew what it was. It's on the road.
Like, I was around so many people. I was on tour.
And before we knew what it was, I had this thing like none of my tricks worked with.

Speaker 1 Like, all my singer tricks, like steroid shot, B12, IVE, vocal rest, like, just couldn't shake it. And then a month later, it's like, oh, that's because it's something real bad

Speaker 1 we've never heard of. I had to kids those shows were terrible.
But the show, first show back was, I had five in a row, but the first one was like just rowdy and like so old school, honky-tonk feeling.

Speaker 1 And like, I was crying. It was just, it was a cool moment.
Yeah, it feels weird, right? It was good to miss it, though. Yeah, that's true.
It was really good to miss it. I,

Speaker 1 you know, I never had a chance to. I never stopped.

Speaker 1 Country music, especially, like, we just don't. We just tour year around, we can warriors, make a record, tour it for two years, do it again, repeat, rinse, repeat.

Speaker 1 And I've been doing this since I was 17.

Speaker 1 So, like, just years and years of not knowing if i could miss it just you know grinding and i did i mean i was like dang i i miss my bus i miss the road which i wasn't sure would happen

Speaker 1 right it's so grating it is it's hard and so uh yeah i was i was happy to be back but um but now it's back

Speaker 1 harder than ever. It's like just, you know, it's a, it's a different, it hits different after 40.

Speaker 1 You don't recover as quickly. Do you, do you ever like carve out vacation times? Like, say, like, for the month of December, I'm not doing shit.
Yeah, that's the winter.

Speaker 1 Like last year, I went to Arizona. I went to

Speaker 1 Phoenix area and rode with all those cowgirls shooting guns off horses. And I was like, and I was just so rejuvenated and refreshed.
And I was like, I need to. make that a priority.

Speaker 1 Like, I just think none of us are good at that.

Speaker 1 If you're really driven and really goal-oriented and like you are, I mean, I have to like make myself, and then I'll go and say, well, they're working me to death. They is me.

Speaker 1 I'm the one adding shit to my calendar.

Speaker 1 That is me. My husband's like, you said you were going to be off this week.
Like, well, I had this one. It's like, so I really am making like the priority to like take some winter months.

Speaker 1 And, you know, because we start touring in the spring and don't stop till the winter again. So I feel like it's, you know, it's important.
It's intelligent, right?

Speaker 1 It's an intelligent thing to do to give yourself a a forced vacation some sort of a break so that just think think of your creativity as like a battery you can't run your phone until it's got zero you got to charge it so stick it in the cable put it into the wall let it charge for a little while like you got to think about it that way I guess

Speaker 1 what do you do for your chill time

Speaker 1 I don't do a lot of chilling well I don't think I just do other stuff

Speaker 1 same I was like I feel like you're you're preaching to the choir, right? Yeah. I mean, I watch TV.
I like to watch documentaries and stuff, and I watch fights, and I watch YouTube videos, but

Speaker 1 I can't do it much, or I just don't like that feeling. I feel like I'm wasting time, so I have to keep myself off.
You do other things.

Speaker 1 Well, that's the thing. It's like, I'm not just, you know, going out there to chill out on the couch.
I'm like, I'm in the desert doing something physical. Also, like,

Speaker 1 musicians are like, our life isn't that physical. Like we don't, it's kind of a, as far as like activity, like we, if we're writing songs, we're sitting around writing songs.

Speaker 1 We're sitting around practicing. We're just standing there, you know, until the show part.
So like I have to make sure I like my hobbies should be active. Yeah.
You know? Sure.

Speaker 1 Just and also do something that like active stuff stimulates your mind more. And I think active stuff will probably aid in your writing more, right? Yeah, for sure.
Yeah. I think so.
It has to.

Speaker 1 I mean, it just makes sense. Yeah.
It's when you when you sit down to write do you like sit down and write in front of a computer? Do you wait till an idea comes to you?

Speaker 1 Do you write on a piece of paper? How do you

Speaker 1 all of it? Um

Speaker 1 usually like I love to co-write write by myself. I'm not good at it.
I encourage it for any artists I'm mentoring or anything else, but I need to do it myself more. Um'cause co-writing's fun.

Speaker 1 You're like hanging around with which I met you actually at one of my favorite writers,

Speaker 1 Benefit, Jack Ingram.

Speaker 1 Him and John Randall is my other best friend and I, we, which I think you met him too.

Speaker 1 We uh we have a little side project we call the Marfa Tapes and we would go out to the desert in Marfa and which is have you been there yet? No, I haven't. It is like a different world.

Speaker 1 That's what Rick Rubin says. It is a different, literal different world.
And there's so like it's it's magical. I don't know what's in the air out there, but how far is the drive?

Speaker 1 It's like far from here. here? About six and a half.
Six and a half. Dude, is that coffee? Yeah, you want some? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Anyway, like, we'll sit around and JR is an amazing guitar player. Cheers.
Thank you. He'll come up with like a riff or somebody has a title.
That's why I like co-writing. I don't know.

Speaker 1 It's more fun to celebrate it with your friends. You know what I mean? Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 1 I mean, some of the best ideas that comedians ever come up with, we come up with in the green room because we're just riffing. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, there's always a moment where, like, you know, we're hanging around and Tony will say something. We're like, dude, write that that down.
Write that down. It's the same thing.

Speaker 1 It's the exact same thing. Yeah.
Yeah. Well, it's like,

Speaker 1 you know, creativity is interesting because

Speaker 1 you want to be inspired and you're never more inspired than you are around other creative people. Yeah.
Especially people that are better than you. Yeah, for sure, right?

Speaker 1 It's like, I'm like, oh, you're a really great writer and great musician. We should be friends.

Speaker 1 I need to learn from you and you make me look cool. Yeah, and it kicks up your desire to do better a notch.

Speaker 1 Yeah, especially like, too, I've been working with younger artists, and I love seeing their fire, like they're like race horses at the gate, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 And it reminds me of how that felt and reminds me to find my moments where I feel that way too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's great. Yeah, I feel the same way about working with young comedians.
It's important. It's good.

Speaker 1 It's also, it's like great to see the sparkle in their eye when they do like their first big crowd. You know, like,

Speaker 1 come on, man. This is just like a regular club.
Go out there. Give me some knuckles.
Right. And you see, watch them kill in front of thousands of people and they come back.
Like, whoa.

Speaker 1 And you're like, uh-oh, now you got the bug. Yeah, now you got, well, they had the bug already, but it's like, you get to feel it.
I get to feel it again for the first time.

Speaker 1 I've done it so many times. It's almost kind of normal.
Yeah. Which it never should be normal.

Speaker 1 You know, and you get to see somebody else experience like the jolt of like what it feels like, that spotlight in your face and all those people in the crowd. And it's exciting.
It is.

Speaker 1 and it's good it's like it's a reminder you know i think it's so important um people like

Speaker 1 people ask you this like do you get nervous like i get uh

Speaker 1 i don't get nervous like i get um

Speaker 1 anticipation yeah that's a great word i don't know i'm gonna start saying that because i was like i don't really have an answer because i care and i want to do well and i get like this it's anticipation it's not nerves per se i think once you stop feeling something you really you're doing the wrong thing no matter what it is i'm sure you feel that whenever you get on one of those horses with a gun in your hand yeah

Speaker 1 you haven't stopped feeling anything yet here we go this is crazy

Speaker 1 i i'm still feeling all those feels for a while i'm sure i don't know if that'll ever go away right because you know you're not in control of the horse and it's no it's not up to you and i think that's why i like it it's because I have grown to trust me in my gig.

Speaker 1 Like, I trust me. I trust my band.
but mostly it's up to me. Like, I'm the one standing there in front of the microphone, and I know my capabilities, and I know

Speaker 1 what I can deliver. On a hobby like golf, I'm like, I don't know what the hell is about to happen when I swing this car.

Speaker 1 This is not up to me.

Speaker 1 This little sign of a bitch isn't moving, and I can't hit it.

Speaker 1 It's just like, I don't know. And the same thing with the horse.
It's like up to my horse. It's not up to me.

Speaker 1 You know, I can aim and I can have the skill and be learning how to ride, but it's about him, you know? Yeah, for sure. James Cool.
My shooting. That's his name? Yeah.
With a K or a C? It's a C.

Speaker 1 He's cool.

Speaker 1 That's a great Morris Day in the Time song. Yeah.
You never heard that song? Cool? Oh, it's a great song. I need to hear it.
We have a theme song. I didn't know it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 We'll give her some of that. We'll have to cut this out.
Otherwise, we'll get removed from YouTube. But play Morris Day in the Time.
Cool. This is like during the Prince days.

Speaker 1 Morris Day in the Time, I think, is like one of the most underappreciated bands from that era, from like the early 90s. Because they got kind of eclipsed by Prince.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, because they were hanging around with Prince and they were part of like the whole Prince. I don't know anything about the Times.
You don't know about Morris Day in the Times? I don't.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Played Cool by Morris Day in the Times. I'm making sure it's the right one.
I got a version that says it's just Morris Day and then another version popped up that said it was just The Time.

Speaker 1 So maybe go to it. Either way, it's always going to be Morris Day singing.
I don't don't think the time ever played without Morris.

Speaker 1 Morris is cool as fuck, though.

Speaker 1 Here it is.

Speaker 1 All right, we'll edit this out. For people at home, sorry, go find this.

Speaker 1 Awesome.

Speaker 1 Look at the clothes. Oh, it's so corny.
It's so great. It's so like.

Speaker 1 What year was that? Like,

Speaker 1 I don't know. It's got to be early 90s, right? 91? 81.
81! 98.

Speaker 1 Wow. I wasn't even born on the earth.
Oh, that's crazy. 1981.
Wow. I was a freshman in high school.
I'm an 83 baby.

Speaker 1 I was in my junior year or sophomore year. Yeah, I was a freshman in high school back then.
That's crazy.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 It was a weird time back then because Prince was so big that there was like a bunch of fake princes. Like people started imitating Prince.
It's almost like a lot of people. That's always what happens.

Speaker 1 Yeah, men become androgynous. There's one and then they're like, oh, let's all be like that one.
So there's 20 more that aren't as good. I know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, There's a bunch of fake Michael Jacksons, I'm sure. There was a bunch of people that just tried to do something.
Like, what is he? How, what's that guy doing? You know?

Speaker 1 And with Prince, it was like, what is this? What's happening here? Very, like, very uniquely authentic. Yeah.
Authentically himself.

Speaker 1 So even that was like trying to be too close, probably. A little bit.
You know what I mean? Yeah. Not as good.
That's the problem. You're not as good as Prince.
You're awesome. You're great.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But Prince is like a once-in-a-generation superstar, weirdo talent from Mars. Exactly.
There are those. There's some that just aren't from here.
Yeah. Right.

Speaker 1 That guy was just different than everybody. You know, I remember I was delivering newspapers when I first heard a Prince song, and I was like, this is crazy.
Like, who is this guy?

Speaker 1 It was, I want to be your lover. Do you remember that?

Speaker 1 That fucking song. And it was like, this is a guy singing like a girl on stage.
He's like three feet tall and all the women want to fuck him.

Speaker 1 him like this is nuts I've never seen anything like this in my life What's happening? Like what did this guy do?

Speaker 1 This guy's a sorcerer like what he was so talented that he could wear stilettos on stage and no one cared

Speaker 1 and it wasn't like boo What are you dressing like a girl? No one gave a fuck. He was so good and so

Speaker 1 there's something about the magnetic personality that he had that was like the charisma that he had was like so undeniable that everybody was like holy shit. what is this? That's not taught.

Speaker 1 That's innate.

Speaker 1 You're born with that. You can't teach prints.
How do you teach that? No, you don't.

Speaker 1 Like, you grew up in Jersey, right? I was born in New Jersey. I was born in Jersey.
But I only lived there until six. Where'd you grow up?

Speaker 1 I grew up everywhere. I lived in San Francisco from 7 to 11.
I lived in Gainesville, Florida from 11 to 13. Lots of moving.
Yeah, a lot of moving. And then I lived in Boston from 13 to 24.

Speaker 1 Then I lived in New York. New York for 50 years.
No,

Speaker 1 I couldn't afford parking, so I had to live outside the city because I'm a comedian. I had to drive everywhere.
I had a lot of road gigs. That's where I made my money.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So to drive to Connecticut and Rhode Island, like in the city, it was like a parking spot was hundreds of dollars a month back then.

Speaker 1 So I lived in New Rochelle. Okay, cool.
My husband was NYPD.

Speaker 1 He retired after eight years, but because I drove him down to Tennessee and now Texas. Nice.
And now he says, y'all. Does he? Does he say y'all? Unironically.
How long has he been there?

Speaker 1 We've been married seven years. Okay.
After five, you got fake.

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Speaker 1 uh but i i got to live up there when we first got married um we had an apartment soho and i'm from like bfe lindell texas like you know right dallas is our biggest city and and it's 80 miles like so i had so much fun like i just he was still a cop so i just wandered around all day like i had gigs on the weekends but like monday through wednesday i'm just like desperate housewives of soho

Speaker 1 running around and like going to rock clubs by myself and having lunch by myself and having wine to meet people. And it's just, it's a city that like nobody cares who you are at all.

Speaker 1 They're just like,

Speaker 1 it's an amazing city. It's amazing.

Speaker 1 If you like cities. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, I like visiting six months was, I got my Phil. I love it.
We're there a ton

Speaker 1 because his family's still there. But I just, I enjoyed like really immersing because I'd never done that.

Speaker 1 And I'm not really a city girl, girl, but I was like, I'm just going to use every bit of this that I can. Wrote some great songs, like wrote one called Fire Escape.

Speaker 1 I didn't even know what that was before.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Like,

Speaker 1 once Fire Escape, you used to walk out the door.

Speaker 1 You know, so it was, it was cool. It was a cool time.

Speaker 1 Well, that would be a great place to like rewire your brain creatively to write stuff. Because you're forced in a totally different environment.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 In the weirdest environment on earth, in my opinion. I think the weirdest environment on earth for human beings is when they're stacked on top of each other in cities.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because I don't think that's normal at all. No, it's not.
I think your whole body just goes, whoa, like you're always at three or four all day long. Always.
Never at zero. Yes.

Speaker 1 My husband just now, like we literally talked about yesterday. I was like, you

Speaker 1 are finally like at a regulated nervous system level.

Speaker 1 Because it just, I think he was just used to like, just you have to vibrate at a different energy, especially if you're a police officer. Like that's a whole different.
Oh, yeah. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 And so finally, like, we have a farm in Tennessee and we are there for like a couple of days this week and just chilling, making cookies and being normal.

Speaker 1 And it's like, he's finally like enjoying that. Cause even when I had my little time in New York City, I was like, this is a,

Speaker 1 it's a lot of, like, I couldn't do this 24-7 for long periods of time because I just can't come down and like ground myself. Right.
I need to touch grass.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I do too.

Speaker 1 Being a cop in New York City has got to be like one of the most stressful jobs in the history of the world. Yeah, I think so.

Speaker 1 That's, I mean, that's right up there, like below being a soldier in war, like being a cop.

Speaker 1 I mean, I have friends that are cops or that were cops that will tell you that the people that are working in the field, like as police officers and

Speaker 1 they're going and

Speaker 1 seeing things on a daily basis, they're seeing way more carnage, way more fucked up things than these guys who had served.

Speaker 1 They did both. They were like, I saw way more as a cop than I ever did as an officer.
That makes sense. It's a lot.
I mean, his whole family is police officers.

Speaker 1 My whole family is firemen and police officers too. So I think that was kind of our bond anyways.

Speaker 1 We grew up exactly the same, just in different parts of the country.

Speaker 1 Well, I was around a lot of cops when I was a kid because of martial arts. We were always training with cops.
And, you know, I'd listen to stories that they would tell me about.

Speaker 1 like things that they got into and they were getting into things like that like on a daily basis. There was always shootouts.

Speaker 1 There was always always car wrecks there was always murders and domestic violence cases and just like man like how many of those guys are just walking around with severe ptsd and no one cares no one respects no one's talking about it like they're just you know i i think that like they don't even acknowledge it themselves like i know my dad worked vice in dallas for his whole career and

Speaker 1 and back in the day like and my and my husband like they just don't and then they just come home and like you know i'd kill my hearing aids too

Speaker 1 he like the dog ate it i guarantee you that he just threw it over

Speaker 1 peanut butter on that fucking thing

Speaker 1 good job reclam we know what you did now

Speaker 1 you put peanut butter on it that's just wrong it's just wrong so many ways uh

Speaker 1 yeah man he probably needed peace and quiet yeah he needs mom to hush yeah everybody shut the fucking world off yeah you know the one of the greatest pool players if not the greatest pool player of all time is deaf is a guy named shane van Boeen.

Speaker 1 Really? And he shuts his hearing aid off when he plays.

Speaker 1 So it's just silent. Yeah, just fuck off world.
And he's just in his, like, people could be screaming in the crowd. He don't hear shit.
What is it about pool? Like, what's the...

Speaker 1 You said you play pool. You like it? I've been playing pool for 35 years.
Yeah, I've been playing forever. But what is it about that particular game? Because the balls don't give a fuck who you are.

Speaker 1 They don't care what you think you are. They don't care who you know, how much money you have, you know, what you've accomplished already, how many shots you've already made.
The balls don't care.

Speaker 1 The pockets are four and a quarter inches wide, and if you don't hit it perfect, it doesn't go in. And it requires all of your concentration.

Speaker 1 And if you really know how to play pool, then you're dealing with like English. So you're dealing with like spin on the cue ball left and right, and you're dealing with draw and follow.

Speaker 1 It's a dance of the mind and these orbs. You're hitting a ball into another ball and trying to get that thing to go straight.

Speaker 1 And it just requires this complete harmony of hand-eye coordination and your spirit. Like you have to like stay calm while you're doing it.
That's why.

Speaker 1 That's a very good explanation of that. I'm the worst pool player of all.
I mean, you would think, like, playing as many honky tonks as I have played, that I could play pool. Most people

Speaker 1 that think they could play pool can't play pool.

Speaker 1 Most people

Speaker 1 don't know really how to play pool. Like back in my day, it was like just a place to flirt.
Yeah, it's that. It's that.

Speaker 1 The thing about pool is once you get down the road and you start to understand,

Speaker 1 you really start getting the game and understanding it. And then playing in tournaments and then gambling, then you're dealing with like real pool players.
And

Speaker 1 real pool players play pool eight hours a day. Wow.
Every day. You have to.

Speaker 1 Because you know how the thing of like being comfortable on stage or being comfortable riding a horse or being comfortable like shooting a bow

Speaker 1 or playing golf, multiply that times 100 and you have pool. Because pool is the only game where you take a stick and you hit a ball into another ball.
Every other game, you hit a ball.

Speaker 1 You just hit a ball with a stick. But in pool, you're hitting a ball into a ball and controlling the movement of both balls.

Speaker 1 Like the one that's hitting the ball, you're controlling how it spins off to get perfect position on the next shot.

Speaker 1 And then the other one, you want to make sure it gets the exact right angle to go into the pocket while you're like calculating all the spin and the geometry of the table and avoiding collisions.

Speaker 1 It's maddening.

Speaker 1 Like, I just got anxiety. It's maddening.
It's got stress. It'll drive you crazy.
It's a game that will drive you crazy. But when you catch it, there's a thing called being in stroke.

Speaker 1 And being in dead stroke, it's a rare thing. It happens like, you know, once a month or something like that, where you just can't miss, where you know where everything is.

Speaker 1 And it's this like calm that comes over you. Like the world dissolves, and all you feel is the table.
And you're completely in sync with the movement of the balls.

Speaker 1 You know how many revolutions each ball is going to make. You feel the difference between two extra revolutions.
Like, you know how hard to hit it exactly.

Speaker 1 And that's what everybody's chasing. They're chasing this feeling of being

Speaker 1 once a month. Because it's so hard to get there.

Speaker 1 I'd probably get there all the time if I played like a pro, like eight hours a day. You'd probably get there once a week, but nobody stays there.

Speaker 1 But that's probably the draw that keeps you coming back. Yeah.
Dudes do drugs just so they can get there. They get hooked on pills.

Speaker 1 Because they find that like maybe it's amphetamines, maybe it's opiates, whatever it is. Like some guys will do drugs and find that spot and then go back to drugs just to get to that spot.
From pool.

Speaker 1 From pool. Yeah.
Dang. Oh, it's a nutty game.
I mean, I've never

Speaker 1 dug into it like that. Oh, at the highest levels, guys are gambling from hundreds of thousands of dollars in these fucking weird places in Kentucky and weird pool.
They stream it online on YouTube.

Speaker 1 They stream it on different websites. Dang.
Oh, it's at the highest level, it is a crazy game. It's a crazy game.

Speaker 1 Well, I never knew that but i learned a lot about that i know a dude who's with one of the best in the world and he can't travel because he needs pills because he so he can't go like overseas he can't go anywhere he can't travel without his pills if he does he won't play right

Speaker 1 really oh it's nuts yeah it's a head game oh it's that's it it's this is my friend jeremy jones he won the u.s open one greatest players of all time He's like, it is the most, and he plays everything.

Speaker 1 He played baseball, like, good, high level. He plays golf.
He's like, it is the most mental game. And it's why nobody's good at it.

Speaker 1 That's why it never gets to, it never got to a place where it was like really appreciated professionally. Right.
Because you have to know how to play it to be, to understand what you're seeing.

Speaker 1 To really see people play well, you have to know what's happening. I don't, I'd never, I'm not like good at any.
I've not played sports, so I'm not good at them. No sports at all? I didn't really.

Speaker 1 I mean, I grew up kind of playing softball here and there. So is golf like the first? Golf is my first and my amount of shooting, which is technically labeled labeled a sport.
That's a sport for sure.

Speaker 1 So that's like it's new to me. Like sports are new because I just, I don't know, I started this at 17 and didn't, and just was laser focused, like horse with blinders and doing country music.

Speaker 1 And then what is it like going from just being a regular high school kid and all of a sudden 17

Speaker 1 just being thrust into a spotlight? Well, I wasn't in the spotlight at first. I was playing shitholes with no light.
Not even shitholes. There's some kind of light.

Speaker 1 You're on spit.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 The bulldam light. I don't know.
Like, I just, I don't know. I feel like that, I didn't have a choice.
It picked me. Like, it's the only thing I've ever been good at.
Everything is hard.

Speaker 1 Everything else is hard to me. But like, music was the only thing that I was like, I guess this is what I'm supposed to do because I'm actually good at it.
Like,

Speaker 1 it comes naturally.

Speaker 1 So many people have a thing like that and they say, oh, that's just unrealistic. I can't do that.
I didn't have a backup plan. That helped.
There was that. I barely graduated high school.

Speaker 1 I was like, I don't want to waste my dad's money

Speaker 1 going to college. I was like, I have no backup plan.
So, like, it really does help.

Speaker 1 The hunger that it creates is like a fire that you can't explain.

Speaker 1 And it's not good advice. I would never give the advice of don't have a backup plan because some people are not going to make it.
And then they'll blame you.

Speaker 1 You know, you told me I shouldn't have a backup plan. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But I really think that for someone who's got some talent and a real desire to do that, and you can stay the course, you could deal with the hard times, like you can't have a backup plan.

Speaker 1 You cannot because that backup plan will rob your time.

Speaker 1 That's the thing you have to think of. It robs your focus.
It steals from your energy.

Speaker 1 So it'll stop you from reaching your full potential. Fuck your backup plan.
Yeah. I mean, it didn't come from me.
Yeah. It comes from me.
Fuck your backup plan.

Speaker 1 And I don't want to get blamed, but I just think that's like the reason that it happened is a lot of hard work, obviously, and determination, but just nothing else. I have nothing else.

Speaker 1 Like, I was terrible at school, terrible at sports,

Speaker 1 had to get tutoring, had to stay late for the cheerleading dance. Like, everything was just hard for me.
Right, but that's just because you're a great singer. Like, that's where your mind works.

Speaker 1 Like, it's just such a wonderful thing that you found the thing that you're really good at. Because

Speaker 1 some people don't. They just don't know why.

Speaker 1 They suck at school. They don't know why they can't pay attention.
They don't know why they can't be at work on time. They don't know why.
They're like, what's wrong with me?

Speaker 1 And if maybe that person just found that thing and they're like, oh my God, I'm supposed to be riding horses and shooting balloons. Exactly.
Here I am. I found me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think it's, I feel like we're the lucky ones when we get to like we know like this is this is what I'm supposed to do.

Speaker 1 This is what I'm gonna chase no matter what it costs and you know that doesn't I see so many people that are so immensely talented that just didn't happen for and yeah, and you don't and you don't know why like the why you said it you don't know if it was one little factor of a period in their life or just not seen at the right time or chasing the right thing at the right time and I don't know I feel I feel very thankful for that.

Speaker 1 But I'm also like trying to learn new things at 40 because I spent my whole adult life doing that. You know what I mean? So now I'm like, what can we do next? Let's find another hobby.

Speaker 1 But that's a great approach, though. Yeah.
That's great. I mean, it's recognizing you want to have some more stuff in your life that's interesting.

Speaker 1 I think that this comes, I don't know, does that come with like wisdom with age? Age, wisdom, and also feeling accomplished. I mean, I feel like I set my goals, I hit them.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, and that feels like, oh. This episode is brought to you by Activision.
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Okay, I can take a breath. Yeah, that's got to be a part of it, right?

Speaker 1 That's got to be a part of it. It's got to be a part that, you know, you can relax a little.

Speaker 1 Like, not that, you know, you will, you know, when it comes to like writing and singing and stuff, but at least you don't have to worry. Like, am I going to make it? Like,

Speaker 1 kind of made it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Let's just have some fun. Yeah.
And what's the point in the whole idea of making it is like your life will be better. And you'll have, well, your life will be better if you have more fun.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like to find some stuff you like to do. Exactly.
You seem like somebody that chases a lot of new things and conquers them, which I think is really inspiring.

Speaker 1 Well, I chase things that you can never conquer.

Speaker 1 That's the key.

Speaker 1 And no one told me that until I started playing golf, and now it's too late.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, you can't ever win. For me, it started with martial arts.
You never conquer that.

Speaker 1 There's always going to be somebody better than you, especially if you're not a professional. But you get really, really good at the things that you're pursuing.
Well, it's probably

Speaker 1 on illness.

Speaker 1 Something wrong with me.

Speaker 1 For sure, if I was born at a different time, I was born in the 60s. They didn't really diagnose kids with ADHD when when I was a kid and

Speaker 1 soap them up. 100%.

Speaker 1 We 100% have it. 100%.
I got it. Whatever that fucking is, it's a superpower.
It's a superpower if you use it right. Yeah, I think so, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, just the idea that you have to medicate a kid because he can't sit in school.

Speaker 1 Find out if that kid's good at other stuff. Right.
Find out if there's a thing that... Yeah.
Okay, maybe they can't sit there where someone's teaching them math. Maybe they get bored real quick.

Speaker 1 Maybe they start talking to her friends. Whatever it is,

Speaker 1 they probably have a thing they're really good at.

Speaker 1 If they could find that thing, I bet they focus like a motherfucker when they're playing video games right yeah so what's that all about you know find the thing that that kid can lock into 100 yeah the thing is like you make people do things that are completely unnatural you make people sit down when they're six in a chair while some lady who's making thirty five dollars a year doesn't like kids is teaching them some shit that she doesn't care about.

Speaker 1 So there's no energy in the room. Everything.
And then when they're out in the yard with their friends, they're having fun and they're laughing and so they're looking This is bullshit.

Speaker 1 This class sucks and they're talking to each other and then they get in trouble for talking like oh

Speaker 1 Your child's a problem. Is the child really the problem? Seems like the child is a lot of energy.
That's not a problem. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You just you're not providing an inspiring environment for a growing mind just turning you into a dull drone, some worker that just is capable of like shutting themselves off all day and then showing up and then just doing some stuff that they don't want to do because they were taught how to do it when they were a kid like

Speaker 1 i feel like there's a lot more opportunities now than there was like even when i was in school it's kind of just like lindell isd like everybody does learns the same everybody goes to the same class you know what i mean and i just my mom says i learned differently she tries to say it that way you learned differently differently

Speaker 1 but looking back it's the same like you just described my entire like existence as a student. Well, it's not just yours, it's mine, and I think it's most people's.

Speaker 1 You know, the only class that I really enjoyed was, well, science. I always enjoyed science, and I enjoyed art.
I always enjoyed that. But even my art, I had a shitty art teacher in high school.

Speaker 1 It was like a failed artist. It was like really negative.

Speaker 1 And he kind of...

Speaker 1 He kind of ruined art for me. Yeah, like, not really, but ruined the idea of me doing it as a profession.
I was like, God, I have to be around people like this. Like, this guy's gross.

Speaker 1 He was just, like, so negative. Rat.
Bitter. Just sad.
Just a sad old dude. I always remember

Speaker 1 he ate a basketball. Like, his whole body was skinny, but his belly was.
And now I know. That guy probably drank himself to sleep every night.
Well, he was. He was sad.

Speaker 1 He was an artist wrapped in his own lock, too. Like, they couldn't.

Speaker 1 I mean. Also, he wasn't that good of an artist.
That's part of the problem. Part of the problem was.
He needed a backup plan.

Speaker 1 Well, I just don't think he had a a lot of fire in him when it came to anything. And I think the art that he created was a representation of who he is as a human.

Speaker 1 And he saw these young kids that were talented. I was pretty talented.
I was like the third best kid. There's a kid named Kevin that was like a little better than me.

Speaker 1 And then a kid named John, who was the best guy in our class. And John told me like a year or two ago, we were emailing each other back and forth.
And John told me that that guy gave him an F.

Speaker 1 And I was like, okay.

Speaker 1 So it wasn't just me.

Speaker 1 That guy's a piece of shit because John was the best artist like I'd ever seen when I was a teenager and we were all like fuck this guy's like the art world we're out so none of us became artists that's sad oh it was just this that was what this guy wanted yeah what this guy wanted was to kill dreams I feel like it's so especially in that like how old were you

Speaker 1 when I quit the classes I stopped my senior year in high but by then um I was also traveling and fighting by then I was that was like when I heavily got into martial arts.

Speaker 1 So by the time I was 17, like my whole senior year, I was traveling around the country. It's crazy.
That's what I started making money playing music at 17.

Speaker 1 You senior year of high school? Yeah. Wow.
So that must have alienated you from a lot of your friends. Yeah.
And I mean, I was also

Speaker 1 very big into church choir and stuff. And so I'm like at the honky tonk till four in the morning because I was the houseband.
And then I'm like dragging a leg into church, smelling terrible.

Speaker 1 Like, no wonder y'all kick me out of youth group, you assholes.

Speaker 1 That's hilarious. Probably deserved it.
That's hilarious. Like, what did you do last night?

Speaker 1 Like, my mom had to, like, go with me for the first, like, first, like, three months of my house gig because I couldn't get in until I was 18 and I was playing in the house band.

Speaker 1 So she'd be like, oh, good, you can drive and I can drink beer and listen to y'all play. Oh, that's hilarious.
That's hilarious.

Speaker 1 But it's funny what you're talking about, teachers.

Speaker 1 Like, I, I feel like there's, there's some that just really, there's that turning point where you meet that one teacher or someone that in your childhood or high school years that turns things around for you I got like when you're talking about your art teacher I had this teacher named Miss Caldwell and she taught speech and I was a terrified literal the shyest kid ever my parents are both very vibrant and huge personalities and like I couldn't get a word in edge wise so I just didn't talk till I was like 16 because they just wouldn't shut up they're just constantly dad's telling little cop stories about his boss days.

Speaker 1 And my mom's a PI, so she's telling all her cool stories. And so I just was really shy.
And my little brother was the same. He's five years younger.
And like, we just weren't very, like, vocal.

Speaker 1 And I somehow got forgot I didn't pay attention and didn't put down my classes, you know, like my junior year of high school.

Speaker 1 And I had got shoved in a class where there was one spot and it was speech honors and it was a debate class. And like, that is not my vibe.
Like,

Speaker 1 I was panicking. My mom came up to the school.
I was sobbing. I was like, I can't do this.
I I don't even speak hardly. And but I was singing like here and there.
I was singing in church.

Speaker 1 Like I could do it if I was singing, but like still shyly singing. You know what I mean? Like kind of in the background.

Speaker 1 And I my mom was like, We gotta figure this out. The school was like,

Speaker 1 well, there's not really any room for her any other classes and whatever. And it was an honors class.
Like this girl was like barely passing every class except choir.

Speaker 1 They just allowed you to enter into that class? They just somehow. And so then I think looking back, like Miss Caldwell and the principal met with my mom and

Speaker 1 she looked at Miss Caldwell and she was like, can she do this? And she was like, she needs to do this. And so,

Speaker 1 and I had to debate like against these seniors and real smart kids, right? And, but it really brought me out of my shell. And so I'm thankful she wasn't like your art teacher.

Speaker 1 I'm thankful that Miss Caldwell was like, no, I see potential in this girl.

Speaker 1 And if she's going to, because I sang at the talent show or whatever she's like if she's gonna be a singer she's gonna have to learn to be in front of people right and to like show her personality and come out of her shell and it really like changed my world because then I started playing in bars and I started to like come into my personality a little bit because you can't do this if you don't have

Speaker 1 if you Aren't confident and have confidence in who you are, you know? Right. And the ability to be who you are in between songs.
That

Speaker 1 is a really important part. Yeah.
then that's where people get to see you. Yeah, so I'm thankful for her.
Thanks, Miss Caldwell. Love you.
Damn, Miss Caldwell killed it. She killed it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's beautiful to have a teacher like that. And anyone can speak.

Speaker 1 The anxiety about, like, oh, I could never public speak. Like, yes, you could.
You just, it's not impossible. Can you talk to me? Okay.
Then you could talk to a bunch of people. You can do it.

Speaker 1 You might have to do it a bunch of times before you figure it out, but it's not like breathing underwater. You could totally do it.
It's so scary to me.

Speaker 1 I mean, honestly like you're so good at it also comedians like that to me is the scariest of all the show biz that you could pick is that yeah

Speaker 1 it's one of them it's it's that's kind of what i like about it though i like scary stuff because you'll have less people doing it

Speaker 1 so you'll be like that's why i got into fighting that's why i got into cop it's like it's it's a it's like if say like let's say if you want to be a lawyer you know how many people are trying to be a lawyer right oh my god you got to go go to law school you got to get a degree you got to pass the bar you got to get hired by uh

Speaker 1 some sort of a law firm and you got to try cases and what are you doing like a lot of people trying to be lawyers yeah because there's a clear pathway but if the pathway is like foggy like how do you be a professional fighter like oh i i'll go that pathway like no one's doing that like the people that are doing that are all crazy like those are my kind of people or if you the pathway is how to be a comedian like oh yeah all these people are all misfits this is perfect these are my people like this is perfect i'll go do that like this is like i'm insured of being around like-minded interesting people yeah that's a great way to look at it well i just think i always think about how like the first time you step on the stage and you're you know you're showing all your cards like you might be your first time well but for a comedian to me it's like songs songs are different like yeah you know every the first game you play the first whatever everybody has their first time that they're like

Speaker 1 learning their ropes and how to get their feet under them. But that's just so raw.
Like,

Speaker 1 here's my jokes. Here's my whole heart.

Speaker 1 Here's, I hope you think this is funny. Like, I just, every time I see it, I'm like, that is the hardest thing in show business.

Speaker 1 The first time I ever did it, I was still fighting. And I'd done nothing but martial arts competition, like, literally eight hours a day for my whole life for six years.

Speaker 1 And then I was more scared going on stage at an open mic night than I had ever been fighting ever. That makes sense to me, but I was confused.
I was like, Why am I scared?

Speaker 1 Like, this doesn't even make sense. It was so baffling to me.
I was like, Why am I so nervous?

Speaker 1 That makes sense to me. It's just it's something you

Speaker 1 well, you knew you were good at it, but you had to do it in front of people. Like, I didn't even think I was good at it.
My friends told me I was good at it, and they only told me I was good at it.

Speaker 1 It was like we would go to tournaments, and everybody would be terrified. We'd all be like, like, really nervous, and I would be the humor.

Speaker 1 It was gallows humor, so I would be the guy cracking jokes I'd be the guy doing impressions of each other like of different

Speaker 1 different friends like what they'd be like having sex or whatever it was and making everybody laugh saying totally inappropriate stuff yeah and my friend Steve who I'm still friends with to these day he was a grown man and I was like 15 at the time and he to this day he's still one of my best friends but he told me he's like you should be a comedian like you're funny it's like and i was like you're you think i'm funny because you like me i go but other people gonna think I'm an asshole like my sense of humor is fucked up and he's like you should just go to open mic night and I did and I went to open mic night and I was like oh everybody sucks oh this is fine I was like you go to see a few professionals and a few people that are just struggling I thought everybody would be like Jerry Seinfeld or Richard Pryor I'm gonna get killed up there this is gonna be terrible and then I realized like oh this is just like martial arts or anything else you start off terrible and then you try and then you get better and then you figure it out and then you know it's like but i just wasn't i was just stunned by how scared i was more than anything yeah

Speaker 1 do you remember the first time you ever got on stage like at a honky tonk or yeah it was a how old were you 16.

Speaker 1 it was a true value country show down the rio palm isle in long view texas wow um

Speaker 1 yeah and i was scared to death because i was like the shot kid too my dad's a songwriter too You're going to love this. He's a cop and a songwriter.
My dad is a songwriter. He plays guitar.

Speaker 1 And and he had a band his cop band on their side gig was all narcs and they were called contra band

Speaker 1 they were a country band called contraband can you even that's a great band it's the best that's a great that's funny yeah but he wrote songs so i was like i'm gonna enter this contest my mom was like shocked i went i was like working in the yard she's like go pick the weeds i'm like mom there's a ad on the radio for a contest called the true value country show down and i want to enter it she was like what you don't even talk you don't you're too shy.

Speaker 1 Like, are you kidding me? And I was like, no, I want to do it. And she was like, what are you going to sing? You had to sing an original song.
And I sang one of my dad's.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. What was the song? It was called,

Speaker 1 gosh, now I can't think of it.

Speaker 1 Too many song titles in my head. Way too, way too many.

Speaker 1 That's like Dunbar's.

Speaker 1 Here I go again. That's what the title is.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 And so, like, because I grew up on, like, forever, I thought my dad wrote like Mama Tribe because I grew up with him just playing John Pride and Haggard and David Allen Coe and Guy Clark, you know, so I started to realize, oh, some of these are like my dad's originals and some of those are more haggard.

Speaker 1 They're not just dad's.

Speaker 1 But like, I got up there and I got, I didn't win, but I,

Speaker 1 it was like my first, okay, like you were just saying, it was my first, like, okay, maybe I can, I can do this. Like, I'm green and I'm shy and I'm new and I'm young, but like, I'm not terrible.
Like,

Speaker 1 I'm kind of equal with these guys. You know what I mean? We're all babies.
Yeah, it was. It was exciting.
And it was,

Speaker 1 I don't know. I think that's the first time I was like,

Speaker 1 okay, I found something that doesn't feel foreign to me. That's not so hard to learn.
You know what I mean? Yeah. Do you believe in fate? Yeah, I do.
You probably should. Yeah.
Right?

Speaker 1 Because it worked out. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 That's my bias about fate. Like,

Speaker 1 if anybody should believe in fate, it's people like you or I. But I'm not sure.

Speaker 1 My bias is that I believe in it because it worked out. Yeah.
You know, but I mean, if your life is shit and you're like, is this fate? Like, what did I do in a past life?

Speaker 1 Like, what kind of an asshole was I?

Speaker 1 That everything just turned out so terrible. You know?

Speaker 1 Well, there's, I mean, I don't know. I feel like I also met my husband in like a crazy way.
And so I can't help but believe in fate.

Speaker 1 There's something to it. Yeah, I believe in it.
Yeah, there's something to it. As much as my mind,

Speaker 1 my rational mind wants to ignore the possibility, like the randomness of the universe, the size and scope of it all. Do you really think it matters what you do? Do you really think it matters?

Speaker 1 But it does to you.

Speaker 1 Right? It has a giant impact on your life and everything matters. Just because there's black holes doesn't mean your fucking, your homework doesn't matter.
You know, everything matters. Right.

Speaker 1 Your whole world, everything matters. It's like you can't think that things don't matter, like that the universe wouldn't have a plan for your life when it seems to have a plan for everything.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, all of it seems to be happening for some sort of a very bizarre reason, all of it together.

Speaker 1 So I'm sure that there's something to fate, but it's just, my rational mind wants to go, that's just your ego. It's like silly.

Speaker 1 You could have been born in Somalia, you know, life could have sucked for you.

Speaker 1 You know, it's hard to

Speaker 1 because fate's a weird one. Like, you can't measure it.
Can't put it on a scale.

Speaker 1 But it seems to be real. Yeah.
Well, it's real for us. So then it's real.
I guess. And also, I'm like, your ceiling is giving me.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I love it.
The little shooting stars. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And you were like, fate is real. And it was like, boom.
And I was like, yeah, it is.

Speaker 1 If I don't tell people, I didn't tell you. But sometimes people.

Speaker 1 I love it. They're like, am I having flashbacks? Like, what's going on? It's awesome.
That's what I love about West Texas, something about, like, it's just so vast in the middle of nowhere.

Speaker 1 Like, the stars are, they feel like they're, we call it the thunderdome when we're, we like lay in the yard and it just feels like they're, you could reach up and grab them because it's so dark out there.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's magical.
Well, they're on top of you and you don't have any light pollution. Yeah.
Yeah. That's the thing that ruins the world.
Yeah. That's the problem with New York City.

Speaker 1 That's why everybody's so stupid. They're like so like stuck in their own world is because like they don't realize they're in space.

Speaker 1 You know?

Speaker 1 you don't get that break yeah no this is a break that you get from space that I don't think you get from anything else where you just like look up and go oh yeah

Speaker 1 okay I'm taking all this shit way too seriously yeah this is nuts like just above us it totally is and I also when you said that it made me think of what we were talking about earlier about wisdom and like

Speaker 1 I don't know, just kind of reaching some goals and taking a breath and calming down and going, okay, everything's okay. It's like, I just feel

Speaker 1 like,

Speaker 1 I saw a shooting star and lost my train of thought. I have ADHD.

Speaker 1 I lost my mind.

Speaker 1 Shut the balls.

Speaker 1 Well, we're talking about space,

Speaker 1 inspiration. I don't know.

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Speaker 1 Pew, pew, squirrel.

Speaker 1 What are you zinning over there? What are those? Oh, these are Lucy's. They're breakers.

Speaker 1 Do you ever take these? I don't know what they are, but I like Zins. Do you like here? Try these.

Speaker 1 These are strong, though.

Speaker 1 Oh, like what? Sixes? Nine. Oh, I'll pass out.
Yeah, don't do it. I'm not doing it.

Speaker 1 I'm not doing it. This is strong.
This one's not. Yeah.
These are nines. I got some fours over here.
Oh, you got some fours? Yeah. Oh, chuck me a four, son.

Speaker 1 What's the Lucy's?

Speaker 1 Why are they different?

Speaker 1 They have like a little thing inside of them that you're called breakers.

Speaker 1 So it's like coffee flavored you put in your mouth. Just like a thin? Uh-huh.
Yeah. And you crack that little sucker open.
It gives you a little

Speaker 1 sugar. That almost like a little

Speaker 1 cupcake

Speaker 1 in there for you.

Speaker 1 Oh, those are fours, right? So it's not bad. That's nice.

Speaker 1 That's nice. I get up and run out of of here.

Speaker 1 Already things concentrate because of the shooting just cause I saw a dude online. He got a 50 milligram one from overseas.
What? Yeah. And he tried it, and he was violently ill, lying on the ground.

Speaker 1 Like, I'm hit terrible. Why would you do that? Well, I think he did it for props, you know, like so he could get some online cred

Speaker 1 just for the views. Did it for the great work? Did it work? I mean, I guess people, I watched it.
I wanted to see. I'm like, you're going to take a 50? Oh, you're fucked, dude.

Speaker 1 And he said, oh, my God, it's like drinking battery acid. And then he was lying on the ground at the end of it.
It's like, I really fucked up. I made a giant mistake.
Because it's so much nicotine.

Speaker 1 50 milligrams is crazy. But you're so, like, so

Speaker 1 into health and take such good care of yourself. And

Speaker 1 I, what is the bit, what, like, why are I just tell people, oh, they're good for you. Have one.

Speaker 1 Wow. What do you think? Like, tell me your opinion of these.
This whole craze.

Speaker 1 Nicotine is not bad for you. Right.
The delivery method is what's bad for you.

Speaker 1 And the delivery method with cigarettes, in particular, with cigarettes that have a bunch of chemicals added to them, that's even worse.

Speaker 1 Like the regular cigarettes, like natural cigarettes, I bet are probably not as bad for you. Dr.

Speaker 1 Suzanne Humphreys, she's a physician who was on here, was explaining to us why regular cigarettes are not as bad, but it's still not good for you to be smoking in your lungs.

Speaker 1 Nicotine itself is not bad. Nicotine itself is neuroprotectant.
Nicotine itself actually is a nootropic, so which means it's cognitively enhancing. So

Speaker 1 nootropics are like vitamins that help brain function. And there's a bunch of them, like

Speaker 1 I have some here. We have some stuff called Alpha Brain that's great.
I've seen that. There's a bunch of companies that make different versions of a nootropic.

Speaker 1 But there are nutrients that enhance memory and enhance your verbal verbal memory, so your ability to recall words.

Speaker 1 They can enhance peak alpha flow state. Like they've done like real, they've done two double-blind placebo-controlled studies at the Boston Center for Memory with alpha brain.

Speaker 1 It shows more effectiveness than any of the drugs that they had studied over the past like nine months before they did this. Like this is pretty impressive.
So

Speaker 1 nicotine does that too. Nicotine enhances your memory, enhances brain function, enhances, it stimulates you.
So there's a lot of benefits to nicotine as a but the problem is like how do you take it?

Speaker 1 How are you taking your nicotine? nicotine you know probably one of the best ways is maybe gum you know and these these things

Speaker 1 people are wearing patches now and stuff fucking crazy people that's ron white he wears a goddamn patch

Speaker 1 on and I'm smoking

Speaker 1 he's got a cigar he's got a Zen fucking animal but

Speaker 1 he's such an animal but I think uh there's there's real benefit to I know a guy who uh you puts a nicotine patch on for productivity when he writes.

Speaker 1 That makes sense to me. Like, I feel like, because all the songwriters are, you know, right now everybody in Nashville's sinning.
And I'm like, okay, I'll try one.

Speaker 1 And it really does give you a little stimulant. Yeah, and I also have a lot of words in my head.
I need to remember words, and I also need to write new words.

Speaker 1 So anything to help with that. Anything you want, if you want to help with memory, Alpha Brain is a really good one.
I want to try that because

Speaker 1 I just think like

Speaker 1 at some point, too, when you're tired, you know, it's just, it feels like you, like, you can't. I mean, you just saw me lose my train of thoughts.
Like,

Speaker 1 I don't want to be on like a bunch of Adderall and stuff.

Speaker 1 I want to be on, I want to find a different method to

Speaker 1 have my brain functioning the best it can. These are addictive, though.
And I got to say,

Speaker 1 different people have different levels of like how addicted they get with these. Like, some people can't not have them.
I went on vacation.

Speaker 1 I said, I'm going to go on vacation and not bring any and see what happens. See if I freak out.
Just to to see. And nothing.
Zero. Nothing.

Speaker 1 It was like, I kind of missed them, maybe, for a day or two, like wanted one, didn't have any. And then after like three days, I was like, oh, this is fine.

Speaker 1 It's not like a physical, like, oh my God, I'm Jones. It's not like smoking.
I'm a shaken. Yeah.
Yeah. But I know people that have tried to get off of them that really struggle.

Speaker 1 I mean, it is addictive. I mean, it's nicotine.
I think the vapes are the hardest to get off of. The vapes, like, that's, I don't want heat on my voice either.
You know what I mean? Right.

Speaker 1 Well, vapes aren't really hot, but it is.

Speaker 1 If you buy them ones that are, like, in the gas station, like, who knows where those are. Like, but the ones that heat up.
Oh, yeah, the crazy ones. Like that.

Speaker 1 Adam Curry, do you know who Adam Curry is? He's the first podcaster. He used to be the MTV VJ.
Yes. Guy with beautiful hair.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Good friend of mine. He carries around one of those robot lunchbox vapes.
Those big old crazy ones where you're blowing. Murder.
And it makes a noise.

Speaker 1 And it's got a power bar on the side of it it's so ridiculous and it blows this giant but it's all like he he fills it with natural oil so it's air quotes healthy air quotes yeah but that's what they that's what people say they smoke american spirits yeah it's healthy come on there's an indian on there

Speaker 1 exactly

Speaker 1 how come they get away with that

Speaker 1 are american spirits owned by native americans

Speaker 1 no so how the fuck do they have a native american on there not catch any slack

Speaker 1 they do right Don't they have an

Speaker 1 It's a badass packet? I've got in trouble in the past for stuff, so

Speaker 1 I'm not getting into it. Oh, I'm getting into tobacco company problems.

Speaker 1 He's like, uh, and pivot.

Speaker 1 Did you ever see that movie, The Insider, with Russell Crowe? I don't think so. It's about a guy who works for a tobacco company that is explaining.

Speaker 1 He was a chemist, and he was explaining how they added all these different things to make it more addictive, and they're trying to kill him in the film because they don't want that information getting out.

Speaker 1 He's the insider. It's a kind of crazy movie and based on a true story.
Wow. Yeah.

Speaker 1 They put a bunch of shit in cigarettes to try to get you hooked. Well, then they do it.
I mean, it works. People.

Speaker 1 It's the hardest one. I feel like

Speaker 1 it's the most you hear people talking about trying to quit that and drinking to me. Like, you know what I mean? Just on the daily.
Like, I'm in a band, so everybody's like, oh, I quit.

Speaker 1 Now they're all like, you got a zen? You got a zen?

Speaker 1 Because it's just highly addictive, I guess. It is, but it's, it's, people want something.
They just want something to take them out of whatever state they're in. Give me something.
Give me a drink.

Speaker 1 Give me this. Give me a coffee.

Speaker 1 Like, everybody that I know that's an Alcoholics Anonymous, they all smoke or drink tons of coffee. It's either or both.
Yes. Because they just want to do something.
Get me.

Speaker 1 Something's not going to make me suck dick for bus fare, but I'm going to at least get a little bit of something

Speaker 1 different than regular life. I don't want to be homeless.
I don't want to be cracked out, but give me something. Just give me a little something to take me away from wherever I am right now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, not that far away, just a little bit away. Just a little next door.
Let me go next door and hide.

Speaker 1 I'm going to start saying that way. I'm like, come as in.

Speaker 1 I need to go next door. Yeah, I'm going to go next door.
Just a little bit. I don't want to go too far away.
I can hear everybody. Am I supposed to break this little candy thing? I do.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I break it right away. He just cracked down that little sucker.
What's in there?

Speaker 1 Probably candy. Ooh.
Nice, right? That's like a little burst of flavor. A little birth of flavor.
Wait, next next door. I like those.
I like those. That's a buddy.

Speaker 1 My buddy Duncan found out that his blood sugar goes up when he vapes because he was buying those gas station vapes and, you know, he got

Speaker 1 type 2 diabetes because he was eating too much sugar. He's okay.
Don't worry.

Speaker 1 But he

Speaker 1 realized because he monitors his blood glucose that when he was vaping, his blood was going through the roof. I go, okay, why do you think that is? Like, why do you think it's strawberry flavored?

Speaker 1 What the fuck do you think is in there, bro? You're eating candy all day. Like, you're vaping on sugar.

Speaker 1 Sugar

Speaker 1 oils? Yeah. Yeah.
It has to be. Yeah.
It has to be. I mean, if it's like grape-flavored or whatever the hell it is, it's like there's some.

Speaker 1 Also, who knows what kind of oil they're putting in those damn things? It stinks.

Speaker 1 Probably made in China or somewhere. I watched a video on TikTok of these dudes testing them.

Speaker 1 Some dude is just sucking on each one of them to make sure they work at the factory. What's going to happen to him?

Speaker 1 I don't know what's going to happen to you because you're sucking on the same one that he was sucking on. Nobody cleans those things off.

Speaker 1 You just get them at the gas station and stick it right in your mouth. That's like a karaoke mic.
Yes.

Speaker 1 That's nasty. So nasty.
Okay, I'm spitting this out. Hold the pause, pause.
Oh, you get rid of it?

Speaker 1 It gave me a little, it's like a buzz. Yeah, like a little buzz.
Yeah, a little next. You went next door.
Yeah, I like that.

Speaker 1 Excuse me, I'm going next door. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So anyway, nicotine vapes. I don't think they're good for you, folks.
Sorry. Because people thought they were healthier for you than cigarettes, but it turns out, like, no.
Not only are they not.

Speaker 1 Yeah, here's a state look. Oh, God.
Look, he's testing all of them. All those cute little pink ones.
You've got to make sure they all work. By the way, how hooked is that guy?

Speaker 1 That guy must have awful. Fucking hooked.
Where is this taking place?

Speaker 1 Does it say in the

Speaker 1 that guy has to test all of them? I would like to see what that guy's. Look, that guy looks like he's 15 years old.
Did you see the bottom? No. It says 7,000 to 8,000 tests per day.

Speaker 1 That's terrible. Bro, test his lungs.
Because there's a thing called popcorn lung that kids are getting. I've never heard of that.

Speaker 1 The thing about these things is that they're very, very addictive. They're more addictive than I think any other delivery method.

Speaker 1 And the thing about nicotine vapes is the first vape of the day is the only one you really want. The first vape of the day, I would take a vape and be like,

Speaker 1 this is wonderful. Like, this feeling is wonderful.
It's wonderful. And then you chase that dragon and you never get it back until the next day.
The rest of the day, you're sucking on this thing, go,

Speaker 1 nope, nothing.

Speaker 1 I'm not getting it. I'm not getting that wonderful feeling.
Yeah. You have to have no nicotine in your system.
And then you have that one hint. It's like,

Speaker 1 welcome me into your life. Do you get like, do these people get like that feeling from those patches? I don't think so.
I think the patches just make you

Speaker 1 like a little Adderall. Yeah, it's like

Speaker 1 I'm sure people have Adderall patches, don't they? Do they have an Adderall patch? I don't think so. No?

Speaker 1 Adderall is a sketchy one. I had someone here the other day who was telling me they were doing Adderall right before.

Speaker 1 I did an Adderall just so I'm ready.

Speaker 1 It's like it's a writing. It's very helpful for writing.
Oh, I'm sure. It's like you don't want to have.
I don't want to need it. So that's why I was like, what brain things can I take? Yeah.

Speaker 1 What are Lucy's?

Speaker 1 What does it say, Jamie? Oh, amphetamine patch. There it is.
Oh, sure are. ADHD treatment that lets you control your time, your way.
They always say that. Like, look, there's a woman who's in control.

Speaker 1 Look at her with her jean jacket on, her arms crossed. I'm in control.
She's got a control posture. Look at her posture.

Speaker 1 I'm on a meth patch. I'm in control.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Please, Lord, no. You are literally on a drug that will kill your superpower.

Speaker 1 You got a superpower and you're killing it with a drug. So you could focus on that.
I definitely don't want a patch of that. Yeah.
No thanks. No thanks.
I don't need it.

Speaker 1 Maybe somebody needs it. I don't want to judge.
But the reality is that stuff,

Speaker 1 the

Speaker 1 amphetamines in any shape or form are highly addictive. Yeah.
And they're passing them out like candy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 My daughter's in high school, and a bunch of kids in high school have, air quotes, ADHD, and because of ADHD, they get Adderall. And then also they get more time on tests because they got ADHD.

Speaker 1 They can't focus. So they're fucking on speed.
Tricks are the tricks.

Speaker 1 Because it's very competitive. Parents want to get their kids into colleges.

Speaker 1 They're, you know, getting their kids diagnosed so they can get their kid hooked on whatever they're probably already hooked on too, because a lot of people that are adults are hooked on it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And you can tell those folks because they come to the parent teacher meetings and they can't shut the fuck up. And they just want to talk to you about everything.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 They want to corner me and ask me about some episode I did. Oh my God, I love that episode that you did with the guy about climate.
You're us.

Speaker 1 They're so cracked out. They're so obviously cracked out.
And there's a lot of people out there just running around cracked out, but they feel like they got it from the doctor.

Speaker 1 The doctor gave me this. I'll tell you 30 milligrams, and I'm just a better person.
I'm just better about all tasks.

Speaker 1 I'm actually,

Speaker 1 I like to talk to that person daily. Like, I feel like those people are everywhere.
They're everywhere. Yeah.
Well, we looked it up.

Speaker 1 Use Perplexity, which is one of our sponsors, and find out how many prescriptions for Adderall they wrote in, let's say, 2024. Let's take a guess.
How many do you?

Speaker 1 I mean, I could not even ballpark that. I want to say 40 million.
I bet it's 40 million prescriptions, at least.

Speaker 1 It's probably a lot more, but I'm going conservative, and I'm saying 40 million prescriptions for Adderall in 2024.

Speaker 1 What do you want? You want to guess? Yeah. Take a guess.
40. I have to say 51.
51. You're probably closer.
I bet it's like 90. I bet it's 90.
I bet it's not. I bet it is.

Speaker 1 Because it's like individual people refilling prescriptions. You know, I don't think it's like 90 million patients, but it's a lot.
I bet it's all journalists.

Speaker 1 I bet like most people that are writing things.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I bet that in, what is it? Okay. How many Adderall prescriptions were written in 2024? According to Proplexy, 45 million Adderall prescriptions written in the United States.

Speaker 1 Well, we were both in the middle. Yeah.
What did you go? 51? Yeah. I said 40.

Speaker 1 Commonly prescribed stimulants for conditions such as ADHD and narcolepsy. This number follows several years of notable growth.
Huh. It's weird.
More people need it. It's up since 2019.
Look at that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, notable growth. Data suggests the prescription rates began to decline slightly after a sharp surge during the COVID-19 pandemic and shortages affected.
I'll stop.

Speaker 1 2019, it was only 35. Interesting.

Speaker 1 So it's up 10 million. Whew,

Speaker 1 that's crazy. 41.4 million in 2021 and 45 million by 2023.
I bet there's a lot of people getting it illegally, too. Like, what's that number? Okay, let's keep.

Speaker 1 That's because there was that shortage in

Speaker 1 the recovered from it.

Speaker 1 Well, also, once the shortage started, people got dealers. Sure.
But people are using mushrooms and stuff for that now, too. That's a very different thing.

Speaker 1 I've heard a lot about that. Yeah, micro-dosing mushrooms, that's a very different thing than Adderall.
Yeah. That's like the opposite of Adderall.
Yeah, even if it's for focus, right?

Speaker 1 Like, well, I'm sure it'll help you focus

Speaker 1 on something.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but you got to be, you got to mind your P's and Q's when it comes to your dosages. Also, like, where you get it.
That's scary for me. Like, I'm like, where is it from?

Speaker 1 Like, did you just go to the cow pasture? Because that's like what teenagers did when

Speaker 1 I heard they were doing mushrooms. Like, they're like cow tipping and going, I mean, not from East Texas.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, they definitely found them growing on poop. I mean, that's how all humans originally probably discovered psilocybin.
They found them on cow poop. Yeah.
But

Speaker 1 the thing about that, though, is like

Speaker 1 you got to get them from somebody who knows what they're doing.

Speaker 1 They're all different. And you can get some that are crazy strong.
Like, there's some out there that'll knock you into another universe. So what are you doing? Are you just eating a cap?

Speaker 1 Are you paying attention to the, are you getting them in pill form? Who are you getting them from? Like, I have a friend who

Speaker 1 gets them from a friend. and I was like

Speaker 1 the guy who's the guy that you're not seeing these things get packaged get the fuck out of here little little shady super sketch yeah super sketch yeah and they're they all it's like marijuana edibles before the the legality in California When it was medical,

Speaker 1 it was crazy. Because now they,

Speaker 1 because of the regulations in California, I think the most they can make them is 10 milligrams, which is normal. It's a normal dose.

Speaker 1 But before that, when it was medical like it became medical in the 90s they would make 500 milligram chiba chews these these things that like they're 500 milligrams which is insane it puts you in another dimension i never even heard of that they're so strong and my friend joey who's a real demon joey used to uh take the wrapper off of 25 milligram ones and give people a 500 milligram one instead

Speaker 1 oh he's a real demon

Speaker 1 and he would just laugh because

Speaker 1 he could tolerate insane doses. So he would give people like preposterous amounts.

Speaker 1 I have a songwriter friend, and I love her dearly, but whatever she says, do this, I'm like, do a quarter of that, whatever that is, to the public. Do yourself a service.

Speaker 1 Do a quarter of that.

Speaker 1 Some people have ridiculous tolerances. For marijuana.
Yeah, I mean, it's crazy. Yeah.
For anything. I'm just over here

Speaker 1 taking a loosey from a random dude.

Speaker 1 It's only four milligrams. It's minor.

Speaker 1 It wasn't that bad, right?

Speaker 1 I would never, like the nine, I would have told you expect

Speaker 1 quick. It's a lot.
That's a lot. I have twelves.
What did you use those for? Real busy days? I don't like them. They jolt me too much, but I have them.
This is just because Lucy sent them to me.

Speaker 1 But I think the right dose is three or four. That's the right.
It's just a little pick me up. Just a little

Speaker 1 bit. Not the cracked out, not the cracked out soccer bum.
Yeah, not the cracked out. Not at all.
I've never tried Adderall.

Speaker 1 I'm scared of it. I want to try it one day because I'm scared of it.
Because I'm like, I need to know what everybody's fussing about. Because everybody I know that's tried it is like, don't try it.

Speaker 1 You'll love it. You'll love it.
You'll fucking love it. It is focus.
I mean, it is. It really

Speaker 1 hones in. I have a buddy of mine, and his wife told him to stop because he was snorting it because he was writing.
That's insane. He's like, that's the best way to get it real quick.

Speaker 1 And he was like to his wife, he's like, why do you care how I do it? She's like, you're snorting drugs while the kids are asleep. He's like, okay.
Yeah, it's a little far, dude.

Speaker 1 Slow your roll.

Speaker 1 he's not an addict though he just he just feels he's not an addict though he's not an addict he felt like he had to snort to really get the most out of it everybody like you said everybody's trying to find something like because i think if you take it as a pill it probably takes like an hour before it kicks in and he didn't have an hour so he's like

Speaker 1 i have a deadline yeah does your friend that disappears does he like have he doesn't have phone no digital no nothing i wonder if that digital detox is like one of the hardest ones i feel like it's it's got to be the hardest yeah i've done uh social media detoxes for multiple days and you genuinely feel better and then you go why am i doing this to myself where i don't do this i know all the time something that's annoying if i can just say it is that like when people do

Speaker 1 take a break from social media that's like all they tell you about the whole time well i'm on a break from social media i'm like can you be on a break with from without telling anybody that you're on a break from social media right they have to tell you how virtuous they are

Speaker 1 i am actually gonna break social media unlike you why cool bro you you little addict scrolling through cat videos doom scrolling yeah there's a lot of doom scrolling um yeah it's like people who do yoga they can't shut the fuck up about it yeah or people with like a special special tech like a special diet like oh yeah oh you're hearing about it you're hearing about it Vegans are the worst.

Speaker 1 You're going to hear about it. They're the absolute worst.

Speaker 1 Like no one has ever met a vegan that didn't tell them they're vegan. It doesn't happen.
They always tell you. Never, not one.
They work it into a conversation eventually.

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Speaker 1 It's like, just you can, you can not eat meat and not tell anyone. Yeah, just

Speaker 1 do it as a spiritual growth. Like, just like us looking at it.
It's your little secret with yourself. Yeah, your little secret with yourself is you're not on social media.

Speaker 1 So don't tell me. My favorite is people who are on social media making fun of people that are on social media because there's a lot of like really not self-aware people.

Speaker 1 They're like mocking people that spend all their time on social media while they're making videos on social media. Like, that's rich.

Speaker 1 Like, that is like.

Speaker 1 It overwhelms me, honestly. I'm trying to, you can't keep up with it.
So I just try, I don't try to keep up with it. Like, I was just talking on the way here.

Speaker 1 I was like, maybe I need to get on TikTok. It's like, there's a lot of music on TikTok.
Like, there's a lot of musicians. And, like, we have a label now called Big Loud Texas.

Speaker 1 Our office is in Austin. And I'm like, I know there's amazing talent on there.
And one of our flagship artists, Dylan Gossett,

Speaker 1 posted something awesome on there. And now he's out there crushing it.
So I feel like I'm missing out. But then I'm like, do I need one more thing? Like, I don't know.
It's like this.

Speaker 1 Do you have an assistant? Battle. Yeah, and I have a great management team.
This is great. Get your assistant on TikTok and then tell them to let you know if anything's cool and show it to you.

Speaker 1 She did that and we signed a guy. His name's Alex Wrayford.
You got it. That's what happened.
So perfect. That way you don't have to be on it.
Right.

Speaker 1 So you could avoid it and she'll be a net that catches all the good fish. Cameron, it's all you, girl.
Yeah, it's all you, girl. So like she'll catch the good fish.
You don't have to go by the river.

Speaker 1 Just stay off that TikTok river.

Speaker 1 I need that talk today because we just had that talk on the plane on the way here today. Because it's a raging.
I'm scared.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you should be scared. I'm like, I'm already like, ooh, everything's just a lot of information all the time.
I know.

Speaker 1 For me, it's like a show of force when I leave my phone on the nightstand when I go to the bathroom. It's like, I'm going to take a shit without my phone.
Do you tell everybody? Nope.

Speaker 1 See, just told you. See, good.

Speaker 1 See, you're not one of those. You're not like, I'm on a social media break.

Speaker 1 No, my wife has like an app on her phone that shows like how long she's been without social media.

Speaker 1 Like, if you want to go on social media, you have to go into the app, enter a password, and open everything up. I think that's so smart.
Oh, yeah. And she showed me the other day.

Speaker 1 It was like 90 hours. I was like, that must feel so good.
She's like, you feel different. You feel different.
It's not good for you. Bad for everybody.
No, but we need it.

Speaker 1 But for some things, I get it.

Speaker 1 It's great for artists. It's great to promote your work.
It's great for comedians to put clips up. It's great for musicians to put songs out there.
It's great. It is great in a lot of ways.

Speaker 1 I'm so happy it exists. Oh, me too.
I was stapling my posters to a phone pole when I started. Wow.
Like, I did it old school. Like, boots on the ground.

Speaker 1 walking up to the radio station, knocking on the door saying, can I play a song? Like, and now. Really? Yes.
Like, have you ever seen Loretta Lynn's life story?

Speaker 1 Have you ever seen Cole Miner's Daughter? Yes. Yeah.
That.

Speaker 1 Like, me and my mom with the baloney sandwich and my mom's Ford Expedition, like, driving around all over Texas, me going, I'm going to sing your songwriter.

Speaker 1 Like, and now I'm like, dang, I'm jealous of the way that people can do it now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but I think you probably developed so much character doing it the way you did it. Yeah.
I'm thankful for that. But I'm also like, well, damn.

Speaker 1 These kids, they just post something and like 100 million people see it in a night. Like, what's happening?

Speaker 1 Well, the problem with that is like sometimes people get fame they're not really ready for yet. And I think

Speaker 1 doing what you did and going to bars and then eventually becoming famous after years and years of performing and

Speaker 1 promoting yourself and getting your chops on stage and really settling into yourself. That is so much better than being like a 20-year-old kid that like sits around and comes up with a song.

Speaker 1 Like, look at Oliver Anthony. All right.
Oliver Anthony is a good friend of mine. He was selling fucking farm farm equipment.

Speaker 1 He makes that Rich Men of North of Richmond song. And all of a sudden, he's a giant superstar.
And he's like, that's jolting.

Speaker 1 I had a phone call with him while it was going down.

Speaker 1 Does he just like help? I mean, that's crazy. Yeah, he's like, people are offering me money.
I go, don't take any money from anybody. Do not sign with anybody.
I go, you don't need anybody.

Speaker 1 You already did it. You've got talent and you're already famous.
You just made a giant hit song. Don't give away any of you.
Yes. Don't sell it.

Speaker 1 You know, he's like, well, they're telling me I got to strike while they are inside. I'm like, fuck those people.
They don't know what they're talking about. You could do this again.

Speaker 1 You can do this again and again and again. And now that you already did it, it's going to be way easier the second time because everybody's going to be waiting to see what you say next.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I know. And that's like, also, nobody, you can't learn.
It's like you

Speaker 1 do the journey in reverse. Well, he did the first time.
The first show he ever did was a giant sold-out, the first time he ever performed live.

Speaker 1 Giant sold out show when he was already famous it's so mind boggling

Speaker 1 I can't even like put it into words because I'm thinking like how you get your chops and how you you did it fight by fight you did it stage by stage when during comedy like it just happens so fast and it's like

Speaker 1 and then you still have to pay the dues but it's just backwards it's like the thing is though he paid the dues as a regular blue collar human being

Speaker 1 for sure and that's where he developed his character. So that when it all came, he's like, oh my God, I just stepped into a magic story.
Right. Like, he had a regular story.
Right.

Speaker 1 And then all of a sudden, the genie came along and Abracadabra, the internet. And the internet just put that song out there.
And everybody's like, holy shit, this song's great.

Speaker 1 And all of a sudden, he's hugely famous. But he had character

Speaker 1 being a real person. 17.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
It scares me. I'm just like, we still got to go do the work now.
We still got to start developing who you are now, even though the world already knows who they think you are. You know?

Speaker 1 It's almost impossible if you start too young. Like, we were talking about that with Michael Jackson the other day, that like no one can teach you how to do that, and no one survives that.

Speaker 1 Everybody who's famous when they're a little kid, they're all fucked up.

Speaker 1 No one gets it.

Speaker 1 It comes with really high cost. You can see it.
Yeah. I always make the analogy that's like you're making cement, but you don't put the right ingredients in and you can't go back and remix it.
Right.

Speaker 1 Like if you don't put enough water in or you don't put enough sand in, that cement sucks. It's always going to be fucked up.
And that's what it's like when you're a kid and you get famous.

Speaker 1 Like you didn't allow that person to mix correctly. Right.

Speaker 1 I think that like, that's why I'm glad I, you know, I didn't go to college, but I got to have the

Speaker 1 learning times of just being 17, 18, 19, 20, like just learning life, like while playing music, but it was just kind of

Speaker 1 in some dive bar somewhere. It wasn't in front of people, you know what I mean? And you get to build your character, you get to figure out who you are.

Speaker 1 And that's why I think the Down by the River and the TikTok River,

Speaker 1 I learned two things. I'm going to refer to it as Down by the River, and I need to go next door.

Speaker 1 The TikTok River. Yeah, it's a raging river, too.
That's a scary ass river. That river never stops.
It never stops. Which we're thankful for it, too, by the way.

Speaker 1 Like, I found some great talent and learned some really cool recipes and get to talk about rescue dogs, you know? Yes. There's the good things about it.
There's great things.

Speaker 1 It's basically a new element of human civilization that we have to contend with. That we've never figured out how to, there's no real

Speaker 1 precedent on how to navigate this, especially as a child. No children ever grew up with it before.
Well, these are the first children that are growing up with it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And no one can tell them how to do it right. We can just observe what's going wrong with it.
Yeah. It's real sketchy.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's it's w real weird. And people say to me, like, do you let your kids on social media? I'm like, yes.

Speaker 1 'Cause they they have to be able to handle it and they have to know what it is, but don't but also don't do it. My my one of my daughters, my youngest, also has that same app on her phone.

Speaker 1 She never goes on social media anymore. How old is she? She's 15.
So she stays off of it and she she'll watch YouTube. She'll watch YouTube videos and stuff like that.

Speaker 1 But like social media, she's like, it's just doesn't I don't like it. It's not good for it.

Speaker 1 And it gets in the way of school work and it gets in the way of stuff she's doing so she stays off it but she's just wise if i was 15 i'd be fucked

Speaker 1 i was so dumb oh no i don't believe that for a second tick tocking all day i'd have been making all kinds of stupid videos try to get attention and that's also part of the problem is that kids are doing things just to try to get attention rather than doing things because they really love an art form they're trying to get better at.

Speaker 1 Like if you make a great song and you're 17 years old

Speaker 1 and it goes viral, at least you're doing a thing, like you're doing an art thing. 100%.
You're not just trying to get attention. And there's a lot of people out there that don't have a thing.

Speaker 1 They're just trying to get attention. If you ask young kids, like, what do you want to do when you grow older,

Speaker 1 when you grow up?

Speaker 1 A lot of them, like a giant percentage of them, just want to be famous. I was about to say that.
Like, I saw that, whatever that study was, and I read about it, and it was like, but famous for what?

Speaker 1 Like, you just want to be famous?

Speaker 1 But what skill or what trade or what, like, what are you just famous? Why? Kid Kardashian. Why? In the world? Like, that sounds awful.

Speaker 1 Well, because they see cameras going off and people are staring at you. And that's a person.
That's an important person. You know, a lot of people just want to be an important person.

Speaker 1 They want to be a person with the nice stuff. Like, look at the nice house and look at the nice cars and look at the nice watch and the nice this.

Speaker 1 They just want to be an important person.

Speaker 1 person and the society that they are growing up in shows them that all you have to do is be famous yeah like kim kardashian is one of the most famous people alive she doesn't do anything it's not like a thing yeah like we can point to oh she's like the best

Speaker 1 she's the best painter she's the best singer nope nothing zero zero things super famous worth a billion dollars and then kids are like that's what i wanted through especially if they're dumb and unfortunately a lot of people are dumb and those people never thought they would ever be famous before but now you can be dumb and famous

Speaker 1 i mean that's a statement yeah dumb you can be dumb and famous and not be good at anything like maybe you'd be dumb but you're like the greatest baseball player of all time that's great and you're famous but no you're dumb and you're famous and you don't do anything you're not good at a thing and you're you're

Speaker 1 just there's no fulfillment in that right right can't there can't be there's not

Speaker 1 even if you're not great at the thing or a thing or if you try a bunch bunch of stuff and you kind of suck at all of it, but you are working on it or whatever. There's fulfillment in that.
There's

Speaker 1 like an accomplishment. Like I paint folk chickens and I'm terrible at it.
You what? Little, just folk art chickens. I don't even know why.
I have no idea why. And they're not good at all.

Speaker 1 You make paintings of chickens. You paint them on little canvases.
What's a folk chicken? Well, I just call it folk art because it's bad. And when I look up folk art, I'm like, oh, I can do that.

Speaker 1 Like, some folk art's amazing, but I look up like folk art for beginners, and then I'll get inspired. I'll be like, oh, I could do that.
I've never heard that genre before. Look it up.

Speaker 1 It's kind of, it's anything and everything. Jamie, will you please look up folk?

Speaker 1 What is the definition of folk art? That kind of stuff.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 just

Speaker 1 reflect the cultural life of a community associated with fields of folklore and cultural heritage.

Speaker 1 It's a 19th century concept. I don't know anything about it.
I just am drawn to it because I think it's cute and fun. Do you have any of your stuff online? No.

Speaker 1 It's like in my backpack. I'm not going to show anybody.
This is me. It's like a painted one for my mom.
She has to hang it up. That's interesting.

Speaker 1 She's still like, mom. She put it in her kitchen.

Speaker 1 I didn't know that that was a, show me some more of those images. I didn't know that that was a genre.
I had no idea that that was a thing. But I'm terrible at it and I don't know anything about it.

Speaker 1 And I would like to learn. I want to take some like, I'll look up like YouTube classes or whatever.
So it's like, keep it on that. So it's like not realistic.
Folk art chicken.

Speaker 1 Okay, there's a folk art art chicken. Let's see.
Look, they're so cute. Look how cute they are.
Okay. Like that one, like that little chunky one in the middle, the black.

Speaker 1 How about the whimsical red hen above your cursor? Yeah, see?

Speaker 1 Like, I'm only as good as like, go back, that one. Yeah, that's about.

Speaker 1 See that one that says whimsical red hen right there above your cursor. Oh, she's cute.
Above your cursor chicken. Yeah.
Yeah. Click on that.
See, I could like.

Speaker 1 That's a website. Oh, but that one.
But you like, and I'll go to like YouTubes of Teaching Me. All that to say, I'm trying something.

Speaker 1 You think it's great. You're doing different things.
Boy, some of these chickens are terrible. How about that one? Hey, it's art.

Speaker 1 So don't speak ill of that. Chicken like that.
I'll be like, that chicken, that's that's a

Speaker 1 drone. They're so bad.
Put in my yard by China. My husband is probably dying out there that I even brought this up.
He's like, are you talking about your stupid folk art chickens?

Speaker 1 Father's being there. He's like cooking, and I'm just like, I'm painting my chickens right now.
Always chickens? I don't know why.

Speaker 1 I have no idea. It's easy.
It's fate it's fate you're designed to be the greatest folk art that's my next song folk art of all time folk art fate imagine if that's what it is like there's something

Speaker 1 compelling you to tell the world about chicken folk art i guess so why chick do you have chickens yeah i do have chickens i have chickens i love chickens chickens are great right they're awesome they're really cute they're the ladies i go in the yard like

Speaker 1 i say hey ladies i give them all the scraps they love everything from the table like any leftovers it's funny to watch them though because they're like picky.

Speaker 1 Like the other day, I thought they would eat like leftover breakfast casserole, wouldn't touch it. Really? But they were all, they didn't eat the biscuits.
Chickens don't like biscuits.

Speaker 1 Well, maybe they know the breakfast casserole is eggs. They're like, Jesus Christ, this lady's fucking nuts.
She's trying to turn us into cannibals.

Speaker 1 Ridiculous. I didn't think

Speaker 1 that. Maybe it's like, oh no, what have I done to my ladies? It might be like a natural reaction to them.
I'll tell you what they go crazy for is mice.

Speaker 1 Have you ever seen?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So this is how I found out.

Speaker 1 I used to have a house in California that my wife, she changed our back fence. It was a wrought iron fence and she changed it to glass.

Speaker 1 And when she did, she signed a death warrant for a bunch of hawks. And they kept slamming into that fucking glass.
And like three of them died in our yard. And one of them got KO'd, but survived.

Speaker 1 And I was on the road and um she had told me about it and they'd taken this this hawk and they had put it in a box

Speaker 1 and when i got back we got them what's called pinkies and what pinkies are are these little baby mice that are they feed them to lizards and snakes like that's what they're for like when you go to the pet store they sell you these things they're not weaned from their mother and you feed them to snakes i know it's dark so they've they bought a bunch of them and fed this hawk these little baby mice, and it ate all of them except one.

Speaker 1 And my daughters were very young at the time. And they're like, we want to keep that mouse.
We want to raise it. I'm like, honey, you can't.
It's not going to live.

Speaker 1 Like, it's not weaned from its mother. It won't survive.
I go, I'm just going to go see if the chickens will eat it.

Speaker 1 I put this thing down, and these chickens attacked like they were raptors from Jurassic Park. One chicken grabbed it, and they all chased her around.
They were stealing it from

Speaker 1 it out of her mouth.

Speaker 1 They are so ferocious. Like, you've never seen anything like a chicken with a mouse.
I've never heard this in my life. I'm going to show you a video.
And this video

Speaker 1 is a bunch of videos of cats with mice.

Speaker 1 So this is a mouse. And look at these chickens.
My God. They just...
kill this mouse. And look, they all attack each other, trying to steal the mouse away from the one chicken.
Do they eat it?

Speaker 1 Oh, they eat it quick. Yeah, they devour it.

Speaker 1 Hmm. So there's another mouse in there that they don't know about yet.
So see, there's one with a cat. So the cat is playing with the mouse.
Like, you know, cats don't kill it.

Speaker 1 They want to play. And this chicken just runs over and snatches it from the cat.
Like, I have never heard this mouse. So, look, the cat has a mouse, and chicken's like, give me that bitch.

Speaker 1 They just go, look, it's got a mouse. And the cat's like, Jesus Christ, you guys are psychos.

Speaker 1 Well, who knew? Yeah, well, because they're dinosaurs. That's who they are.
They're just dinosaurs that are really small that survived the impact of the asteroid.

Speaker 1 I also love dinosaurs, so maybe that's why chickens, I'm called to paint my full chicken. You just don't realize how ruthless they are.
I've never heard this in my life. This is blowing off.

Speaker 1 I'm country as a pumpkin, and like I've never heard this. They destroy mice.
Dang. Destroy them.
They love them. They tear them apart.
Well, I'm not going to go do that, but I'm glad I know that now.

Speaker 1 Like, nothing I've ever seen before. We also saw a mouse that got loose in the chicken coop once.

Speaker 1 We had a big chicken coop, and a mouse went in there, and I saw these chickens just tear that mouse off. Well, then my breakfast casserole is not offensive to them.

Speaker 1 They're eating their own babies.

Speaker 1 They're not, we don't have a rooster. Well, I know, but they don't know that.
You're right. You know, they brood sometimes.
I know, I just let them sometimes, and I'm like,

Speaker 1 well, I just like, sometimes they look at me like, let me just sit on this. Like, okay, you can have it.
That's your eggnot. Yeah, but they pluck their feathers out.
You know,

Speaker 1 they get real, it makes you sad. It's like they want to be a mommy.
They do. Yeah.
And you don't let them. We had a rooster once, but he did not last.
I do not enjoy having roosters. They're roosters.

Speaker 1 They're mean.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you attack my wife, and she's like, we're done. My attack me.
I'm out. I'm a rooster.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 They're assholes.

Speaker 1 But they're doing it because they're trying to protect their hens. Like, they don't know that you're okay.
They just think this big fucking thing is moving around their hens.

Speaker 1 Like, this giant person is a human. They're also mean to the hens.
Real mean. They're mean.
Brutal. Ripping their feathers out.
I'm like, I can't do it. Yeah, they're nasty.

Speaker 1 How many do y'all have, chickens? We have

Speaker 1 15, 15 or 16. Do y'all name them? Yes.
I don't name them, but my daughter and my wife names them.

Speaker 1 But the rooster,

Speaker 1 we only let him got, he got to maturity, and then we gave him to a friend. We're like, this motherfucker can't.

Speaker 1 I was going to kill him. You're mean.
Yeah, he attacked me. I went into the, I was like, you just got to show him who's boss.
And he's like, no, no.

Speaker 1 I'll attack you too, bitch. Yeah, exactly.
He attacked me, and I was like, bitch, I will fucking kill you. And so to avoid killing him, I gave him away.
Well, that's nice.

Speaker 1 Because I was totally ready to kill him. Because when I'd go in there, he'd face off against me and just leap at me.
And he attacked me.

Speaker 1 My attacked me too, and dad dealt with it. I don't know what happened to him, but dad dealt with it.
Soup. Turn him into soup.

Speaker 1 That's the thing about roosters, too. I guess you can't, like, just outright eat them.
They're really tough. So if you do kill them, you got to like either slow cook them or turn them into soup.
Well,

Speaker 1 we probably did. He didn't tell me.
I had a landscaper back when I lived in LA who used to fight chickens, and he took me over his place. I hate that.
It was crazy. I hate it.
He had like

Speaker 1 100 roosters. We have done so.

Speaker 1 Mutt Nation has done. We're not just, we don't just help dogs.
We help all animals, but dogs are focused. But like, we've helped break up some chicken rings.
It's kind of crazy that it's still around.

Speaker 1 It's awful.

Speaker 1 It's always out. Like, we have a farm in Tennessee, and there's a whole,

Speaker 1 this is whole farm, like down the road. And it's, they keep them in tiny cages.
I just hate it. And every time we report them, every time, they just pay the fine.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Well, it's a part of their culture. That's the problem.
And they all gamble on it. I know.
He was Mexican and, you know, from Mexico.

Speaker 1 And he had all these friends that lived in this neighborhood where he lived in. Like, you might as well have been in Mexico.
It was crazy. Everything was in Spanish.

Speaker 1 And when I went over his place, it's like his buddy, we went over his buddy's place.

Speaker 1 His buddy had like a hundred cages in in the backyard in a pit where they would uh take the roosters yeah and they put spurs on them so they put them so terrible i mean knives on their claws

Speaker 1 we we try to like we got to be part of like some of the

Speaker 1 but when you confiscate like that many

Speaker 1 mean yeah i mean you can't yeah reintroduce them into the world like right you know what i mean they're taught to be mean they're bred for that

Speaker 1 yeah and they'll break they'll breed champion roosters from champion other roosters roosters.

Speaker 1 Let's just take to our little backyard hens. How about that? Yeah, it's just, it's a weird thing because, like, their culture has been they fight them and then they take the loser and they cook them.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And, you know, he was making it seem like it was no big deal.
And it was, like, to them, it was their gambling recreation.

Speaker 1 They would all gather around and guys would come from long distances to bring their chickens to fight.

Speaker 1 I hate it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 To me, it doesn't freak me out as much as dog fighting. Dog fighting drives me nuts.
Because pit bulls are the,

Speaker 1 look, they're very dangerous because they have a very high parade drive and they often don't, they confuse children with other animals. They don't.

Speaker 1 But as pets, they are the most loyal. They're the sweetest.

Speaker 1 Kind. They love you to death.
They love you so much. But there's so many bad ones and so many ones that are raised just to fight.

Speaker 1 And that part of our culture, that part of society, like the underground dog fighting part is like,

Speaker 1 how can you do that to a dog? Like, how can you do that to the best animals? The soul of the earth is what it is.

Speaker 1 I feel like I have some friends that are huge into pit bull rescue. And when they're either rehabilitated or just, they get a bad rap period, right?

Speaker 1 Like, like say any metro shelter you go to, it's 90% pit bulls because people are afraid. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But they're, they get such a bad reputation, but there are some amazing pities that weren't ever in the fighting rings.

Speaker 1 They're just overbred and, you know, taken out of a confiscation of a hoarding situation or breaking up the fighting rings. And it's the mama dog that's just been having puppies.

Speaker 1 And like, I just wish people would at least open their minds and hearts to like, there are some amazing pities out there or pity mixes, you know. There are, but they're also very dangerous.
I get it.

Speaker 1 I know. They are.

Speaker 1 They will fight those dogs to the death. I think you're

Speaker 1 they have to be vetted. It has to be a well-vetted shelter or adoption, you know.
But the problem is, oftentimes, you don't know their behavior until they're around other dogs.

Speaker 1 Like, I've had dogs that were great around people, and then I'd get them around any dog, and their hackles would go up, and they immediately wanted to fight.

Speaker 1 And you're like, oh, God. And then you're the asshole because your dog is like pulling on the leash.
And you're like, I'm sorry. Let me get them out of here.
Right. I know.
They're dangerous.

Speaker 1 They're dangerous in that regard because they really are bred to fight. And I think it takes a special

Speaker 1 household and owner, too to really yeah kind of handle a dog like that like 100 our best friends um gwen she's in my band and her and her husband are longtime pit bull uh rescue family and he they just know how to like deal with them and they come around our dogs they're fine everything's fine but it's definitely an alpha male out like they kind of show them who's boss right away and yeah and they sort of understand the food chain of the house you know what i mean yeah there's dogs that are great dogs but they just need a lot of attention like if you have a German Shepherd or a Belgian Malamois, you got to give those things something to do.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you got to know what kind of breed you're getting too.

Speaker 1 Like, I feel like people, I always preach adopt, don't shop, but I still think you, within the adoption, like really need to go, I'm going to spend some time with this dog.

Speaker 1 I'm going to talk to its foster family. I'm going to foster it just to really understand what kind of breed you're getting.
If you want like a lazy, cuddly thing, but still protect or get a peerness.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Like, just know what you're getting.

Speaker 1 Like, just understand, like, as my household ready, because there's a lot of the, what breaks my heart the most is the, like, owner surrenders and the returns at the shelters. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 It's like, you didn't think through what you were

Speaker 1 doing. The dog already thought it had a home, and now you're bringing them.
Right, because you wanted a lazy dog, and you got a cow dog, and it needs to run.

Speaker 1 Great Pyrenees are great because they're kind of a combination of, like, a lab and a protector dog. They're a great little balance.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, I have a friend who has a Pyrenees, and it's like such a good dog. And he's like, listen, man, if coyotes come around here, this fucking dogs them up.
Yep. I go, really?

Speaker 1 And he goes, like, oh, yeah. Like, you ain't never seen a change of personality like this dog when it sees a coyote.
But then they're like laid up on the couch with their legs in there. Sweetest.

Speaker 1 Just right in my bed.

Speaker 1 It's the best.

Speaker 1 Like, I have a Golden who's, he's the best, unless you're a squirrel. And then he's these hell.

Speaker 1 Then he's a demon. He's a squirrel killer.
But other than that, he's the sweetest boy. He's just so nice to everybody.
Everybody who comes over to the house, like, you're my best friend.

Speaker 1 Goldens are the best. They're so sweet.
But I love them all. I love them all.
We have a chihuahua.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 you're getting a chihuahua. You know what you're getting.

Speaker 1 Mean as hell. And nervous.
Oh, my God. So mean.
She's 16 and blind, and she still tries to bite. She won't know where you are, but she's like, but I could get you.

Speaker 1 16 is old. And blind as a bat.
Oh, my God. Seen your dog house over here.
Have you had her since she was a baby? Yep. Wow.
Doctor from a shelter when she was like eight weeks old. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We got two seniors now. But

Speaker 1 I've lost, I was crazy dog lady when

Speaker 1 my husband met me and I had eight rescues. Like it seems crazy now, but I have farm and land and three were pearonies,

Speaker 1 two golden mixes, and then three little, I don't know what's. And I've lost one every year for six years.
And so after this, we have two seniors left. And my husband's like, my heart can't take this.

Speaker 1 Like, he never had dogs growing up.

Speaker 1 He loves dogs, but he was like, this is awful. Like, ever since we met, we've lost one because they're stair-step in age.
And so I'm like, I need a, my heart needs a break.

Speaker 1 It's hard. Yeah.
It's hard when they die. It's like, it's, it's so hard.
You're so close to them and they only lived like to be

Speaker 1 19 or 13 and then it's over. They're like put here to show us true love.
I know. They really are.
Meanwhile, they're not. Meanwhile, what they are is

Speaker 1 we took wolves and turned them into bitches. That's what really, really would happen.
Like, I have

Speaker 1 a King Charles Spaniel. You know, one of those.

Speaker 1 He's the sweetest. That's

Speaker 1 Charlie.

Speaker 1 He is the sweetest. He's so cute.
You pick him up, he just kisses your face.

Speaker 1 He's just so adorable. That was a wolf.
At one time, someone took a wolf and turned that wolf into a bitch. And, like, you're not enough of a bitch.
Let me turn you into more of a bitch.

Speaker 1 And more floppy. Now we have fernadoodles.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's so weird what humans have done to dogs. No.
That we've created all these totally helpless little tiny breeds. I know.
It's weird. Shih Tzus and all these little tiny things.

Speaker 1 Yeah, these little but they're all amazing, and there's plenty at the shelter that y'all should go check out. Look, they're amazing.
I love them. But it is a weird thing that we've done.
I know.

Speaker 1 Because they all used to be wolves at one point in time. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's got to be the

Speaker 1 weirdest transformation of an animal by human interaction.

Speaker 1 I wonder how, I just wonder like the first one to do it. Like, well, do we know?

Speaker 1 They think it was just like cavemen by the fire, and wolves would come around, and they had killed something, and they'd throw them a bone.

Speaker 1 And the relationship became the wolves would let them know if intruders were coming. Right.
And then eventually they softened to the point where they could like sleep with these people.

Speaker 1 So they were like household animals or at least stay around the house.

Speaker 1 And they trusted them to protect their children and then you know then they developed different breeds that were better at like herding sheep yeah like because you got to think like most wolves killed sheep yeah so all of a sudden you could teach a dog to like make sure the sheep don't get killed by wolves which is nuts it's nuts and it's incredible to watch yeah and watching dogs like bird dogs

Speaker 1 yeah it's one of my favorite and also like the canine units they blow my mind like the things these dogs can do and the stamina they have and you know i think the biggest freak dog that's ever been been created is the belgian melanwa oh yeah that is a fucking crazy dog when you see them run up walls and fly through

Speaker 1 but like that's one of the dogs you're like you need to know what you're getting because oh yeah you need like a dude that can run with this dog all day and you can't leave him alone and you can't like hey man can you watch my dog i'm gonna be gone for a week like nu-uh uh-uh uh-uh

Speaker 1 that dog's coming with you bitch

Speaker 1 You need to

Speaker 1 yeah, that dog needs activity. Yeah.
Have you ever seen the video of the difference between the way a German shepherd approaches an assailant versus a Belgian Malamois? No.

Speaker 1 So they do these drills where they have a bunch of chairs in a room. Yeah.
And the German Shepherd runs around the chairs to try to get to the guy who's got the bite suit on.

Speaker 1 The Belgian Malamois goes over all the chairs. Just like flies through the air, barely touching the chairs.
Watch this. So here's the shepherd.

Speaker 1 See how the shepherd runs around and he's like, I'm going to get you. I'm going to get you.
And he finds you and he bites you. Watch the Belgian Malamois.

Speaker 1 As soon as they let him go, he's like, fuck these chairs. Right over him.
That's incredible. They're just meat missiles.
They're meat missiles. Like, they're designed to go fuck things up.

Speaker 1 That's their task all day long. And they're crazy smart.
They're really smart. He's intimidating.
Oh, yeah. They look at you like a raptor in Jurassic Park.
They're like checking you out. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What are we doing? Am I killing you? Or are you just one of my raptors? My dad's a little bit of a drink. That's a perfect, perfect analogy.
He's like looking right at you like this. You're like, oh.

Speaker 1 And you're like, can I put it? Or is he at work right now? He's working. Yeah.
Yeah. I don't ever pet Malamois unless I know for sure.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 They're just, that's a working dog. It's a different thing.
Same. You know, I mean, but it's also kind of crazy that they figured out a way to make a dog into that.
Like,

Speaker 1 how do you make a dog into my dog, which is like just a cuddle butt? He just, he's just a cuddle bug. He just wants to lie down with you.
Like, today we're watching TV. He just cuddles up.

Speaker 1 He's like, got his head in my lap, and I'm petting him. We're watching TV.
He's like, that's a wolf. That's a wolfie.
He It used to be a wolf.

Speaker 1 The only one I think about in my house that used to be a wolf is my Chihuahua because she used to meet this.

Speaker 1 How ironic. That is a wolf.
That's so funny. But it's just so crazy that they figured out a way to make a wolf into a thing that protects animals from wolves.
Yeah. Nuts.

Speaker 1 I didn't think about it like that. I mean, some of them.
Have you ever seen that? What is that shepherd dog, that crazy giant one from Russia? What is it? That enormous, what is it called?

Speaker 1 Not from Russia. It's like a mountain shepherd.
It looks like a werewolf. And it's got really crazy thick hair because of the climate that it lives in.
But it's like 200 pounds.

Speaker 1 Like this enormous thing that protects Caucasian Shepherd. That's it.
Caucasian Shepherd. It literally looks like a werewolf.
Like the werewolf that we have out front, the American werewolf in London.

Speaker 1 That's scary. That's what it looks like.
And it just protects. Look at that.
Oh, I've seen those. I just didn't know what they're called.
That's crazy. See if you can find one that's doing bite.

Speaker 1 But look, that one looks sweet. Yeah, unless you break into the house.

Speaker 1 I mean, that thing's crazy. Google Caucasian Shepherd

Speaker 1 training. Yeah, or bite.
Right there. Oh, God.
That does look like the thing in the front. That's fake.
But look at the side. That's one like pretending to.

Speaker 1 See, there's one that's doing bite work, though, in that other image.

Speaker 1 That's the word for them. It's like a word of charka.

Speaker 1 Like, that is a big ass dog.

Speaker 1 And that's another dog that they use to

Speaker 1 to protect against wolves. Let's look at the size of that sucker.

Speaker 1 That's

Speaker 1 huge.

Speaker 1 So what are they doing here? Where are they? They're Russian?

Speaker 1 That looks like they're transporting it. Training YouTube channel.
Oh, okay. They're training it

Speaker 1 with a big bag of shitty dog food. Wolf colors.
That dog food that people buy. I know.
That stuff's so terrible. You do Farmer's Dog.

Speaker 1 Me too. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We We started off with another company called Maeve, which is great. It's frozen.
But

Speaker 1 just the way he eats farmer's dog, the way they eat it, it must taste way better. And it's the same kind of thing.
It's real food. It's frozen.
You get it frozen, thaw it out and feed it to him.

Speaker 1 When he's ready to eat,

Speaker 1 devours it. Devours it.
I had to start that with my senior dogs because they just had all kinds of things, you know, and everybody had ailments and needed pills and everything else.

Speaker 1 And I was just like, all right, we're just going to do the expensive dog food. But

Speaker 1 I had three Pyrenees rescues, two golden mixes, and like three littler dogs. I'm like, this is like $700 a batch for all y'all to eat.

Speaker 1 So I started making it for a while, too. Like, I would just make like ground turkey.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's great. But I just couldn't keep up with it.
So, I mean, farmer's dogs won't be used to.

Speaker 1 Well, it's definitely way better than regular dog food because way better, anything that can sit on a shelf can't be good for you. It just can't.

Speaker 1 It's filled with preservatives, and that's not good for you. like us living on Cheetos, I feel like.

Speaker 1 Exactly. Sometimes I want to eat them.
Sometimes

Speaker 1 I love them.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like if you were stuck in a cabin for a week and you couldn't get out, and then there's an unlimited supply of Cheetos in the cabin, you're going to live.
Right.

Speaker 1 But you're not going to feel real good. No, you're not.
People are always like, what's on your rider? I'm like, Cheetos and Cheetos. Kind of all I need.
Is that it? That's your rider? Cheetos?

Speaker 1 That's hilarious.

Speaker 1 That's hilarious. Some people have wacky.
What's on your rider? Not much.

Speaker 1 I have like a cheese tray, maybe.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I have a meat tray. A meat tray.

Speaker 1 When I was drinking, it was

Speaker 1 we would definitely have like some whiskey on there and

Speaker 1 maybe like a bottle of wine. But I really don't drink anymore.
Not that I... Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is like... I wasn't an alcoholic, so it's not like I can't drink.
Like, I had a glass of wine with dinner the other night, but it's not, I don't drink anymore.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't, don't, like, we would, I would go to my comedy club with my friends, or we'd go on the road, I'd have a couple of glasses of this, and a couple glasses of that, and a margarita at dinner, and then the next day, I'd feel like shit.

Speaker 1 And it wasn't ever like I couldn't stop, it was just I did. And then one day I was like, I think I'm just going to stop for a while and see how I feel.
And I felt so much better.

Speaker 1 So much better. Because I was drinking like two or three nights a week, sometimes four.
Go out on a date with my wife. I have a couple of drinks.
I'd go to the comedy club, I have a couple of drinks.

Speaker 1 Maybe I have a drink or two with someone in the studio. Yeah, it just, I mean, I feel like that's show biz.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's just part of it. Like, it's part of our culture.
And, like,

Speaker 1 we have to bring the party too. That's the other thing.
It's like,

Speaker 1 how am I supposed to bring the party if I'm not partying with you? Right. You know, that's a problem.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's a problem. Especially in like the honky-tonk days.

Speaker 1 Like, I came up in like beer joints. I'm talking about like god bars, you know what I mean? And you just start getting in it with people and then you're on your day off.

Speaker 1 You're like, oh, we're going to have a nice date and have a drink. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 It kind of spirals. I know.
But I love it. I love it.
I love red wine. Like it's my favorite thing.

Speaker 1 I don't hate drinking. I just hate how I feel the next day.
But like,

Speaker 1 I'm not, you know, I'm not saying I'll never do it again. But for now, I'm not doing it anymore.
But I'll still have a drink or two. Not even two.
Not even two. A drink.

Speaker 1 Like, I didn't even have a full glass of wine the other night. I had, like, a half a glass of wine.
I'm like, we're good.

Speaker 1 But, like, if somebody has a bottle of Buffalo Trace and we're sitting around talking shit, I want to have a couple of drinks. I might.
You're just giving yourself permission to be wherever you are.

Speaker 1 I'm just trying to be healthier is what it is. And I recognize that, like, if I do all these healthy things for my body, I work out all the time.
I eat so well. I take all these vitamins.

Speaker 1 Like, why am I letting myself get poisoned four nights a week? That seems stupid. Especially with my lifestyle.
It's like, it's better. Like, even if I just limit it to one night a week, it's better.

Speaker 1 But really, it's better. Just not.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 The reality is it's not good for you. Well, I know, but it's fun.
It is fun. It is fun.

Speaker 1 Catching a buzz is fun. Some of my favorite podcasts we've ever done, like when we do Protect Our Parks, we get hammered.
Yeah. They're fun.
Yeah, I bet.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I mean, people aren't doing it because they're stupid.
Right. There's a reason why they enjoy being drunk.
Yeah. And have for thousands and thousands of years.
Thousands of years.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's probably responsible for so many relationships starting in the first place, so many people meeting people, so many fun friendships. A lot of the memories, too.

Speaker 1 It's like on the road, after the shows, like it's

Speaker 1 when everybody's just really being themselves.

Speaker 1 It's also a culturally acceptable drug that most people know how to consume.

Speaker 1 I mean, they might do it wrong, or they might get too drunk, or DUI, or be an asshole, or it's possible, but it's enough of a normal thing that a good percentage of people know when they've had enough.

Speaker 1 Right. And they know the right dose.
You know, you have a couple drinks, like, I'm good. Yeah.
You know, you know where you're at. Whereas

Speaker 1 any other drug that you're trying today is illegal. Yeah.
And any other drug, it's like, who knows what's going to happen. Right.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And if you want to go next door, like really next door, next door.

Speaker 1 I'm going down the street. Yeah.
You can go down the street with whiskey. With a margarita.
Whiskey. You can go to another town.
It's martinis.

Speaker 1 Like everybody knows, like, do not drink more than two martinis.

Speaker 1 Are you an insane person like you can't everyone no one can do that everyone should know it like i feel like that's what really you know burt kreiser that motherfucker can put some martinis down really like yeah i'm like

Speaker 1 two's good like that's straight up well you're smart just straight i mean and then have your glass wine whatever you want my past two when you see like you know somebody sit at a bar by themselves at like three o'clock and they're and then they're you're like dang that's their third mark that's their third martini they're about to hit the deck and they're fine i'm like something's gonna happen later something's gonna happen later they probably do it all the time that's the thing that's the here's your sign yeah yeah

Speaker 1 it's supposedly better for you right isn't it like do you drink Tito's like a vodka martini is probably is a gin martini the same I don't know I'm a Tito's and Topo gal Tito's and Topo

Speaker 1 they say that clear liquor is better for you right don't they say that I don't know we've made excuses for every single thing we want to do today

Speaker 1 they say it's tequila

Speaker 1 nicotine is great for us. It's good for the bottom.
Teeth is clear. It's awesome.
It's supposedly better for you, isn't it?

Speaker 1 Is there a reason why clear liquor is, is there a real reason why clear liquor is less additives in it? There you go. Less additives.
That's it? I'm pretty sure.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, even tequila has got, you got to find the good stuff. Right, but if you find the good, that's the other thing.
I was reading this thing about how much tequila is fake.

Speaker 1 How much tequila is not really made with agave?

Speaker 1 That's a real, that's a lot.

Speaker 1 A lot. Yeah.
Yeah, it's a lot. That'll hurt your ass.
I mean, tequila will,

Speaker 1 it's not forgiving

Speaker 1 if you abuse it. It's a certain kind of drunk.
Don't ask me how I know. Tequila is like a shootout with the cops drunk.

Speaker 1 That's like I shot my TV with my shotgun. Drunk.
It's a high-speed chase drunk.

Speaker 1 Tequila is just like, ooh, we're drunk on tequila. Yikes.

Speaker 1 Like, you know, you just picture yourself doing something definitely incorrect.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's a funny thing that I guess it makes sense, though, that music and and comedy for a l in in a lot of ways is connected to drinking.

Speaker 1 Because drinking like lowers inhibitions and it makes you want to sing along and it makes you want to dance and maybe you don't feel like you've got the confidence to dance, but you get a couple of shots, fuck it, let's get on the dance floor.

Speaker 1 It's like raise your cup. You know, it's just that.
It's like the

Speaker 1 that's it's just a f it's like a feeling. And it's you're part of the party and you're part of the song and you're part of the show and or whatever.

Speaker 1 Like what I just think, especially, I think art, I think music and comedy are the most as far as show business.

Speaker 1 Like you're, you know, that people just feel like that's something that they go there to do. Right.
Well, there are two things that you have to go see live. You don't have to.

Speaker 1 I mean, you can just listen to music in your phone and all that stuff. But the reality is it's way better if you're there live.
Yeah. Like live,

Speaker 1 going to see live music to me is like so inspirational because I don't have any skill at live music at all. I don't have any musical talent.
I can't play any instruments.

Speaker 1 So it's just, I don't ever think like, huh, I wonder why they did it that way.

Speaker 1 I see where they're going to be. You can just enjoy it.
I could just be entertained. That's great.

Speaker 1 And it's I think music is a drug in and of itself because it it does something to your a great song does something very powerful to you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like it'll make you feel powerful emotions or powerful inspiration.

Speaker 1 It does something that nothing else does in a weird, weird way.

Speaker 1 And it feels so good like when you have a song that somebody comes up and says, that song changed my life.

Speaker 1 That song, you know, I have one called House that Built Me that's like the one people come up to me the most and are like, that's my story. And it's, I didn't write it.

Speaker 1 I'm like, but that's when I heard it. That's why I was like, this is my story, too.
And those are the,

Speaker 1 and like as a songwriter, when you write a song like that, that's, that's the ultimate like reminder of like, this is why I do that. Like,

Speaker 1 it made somebody feel something. It made somebody get through something.
It made somebody want to punch somebody, whatever the emotion is, as long as it brings out emotion, we've done our job, right?

Speaker 1 Think how many people you've done that to. How nuts that is.
Like, you've had so many hit songs.

Speaker 1 So, you've had so many songs that resonated with people where they all felt that feeling when that song came on. Like, oh, this is my song.
Yeah. This is my song.

Speaker 1 Turn it up.

Speaker 1 I have, like, the feisty, a lot of the feisty, I mean, I'm, I'm a little calmer now, but it used to be quiet the firecracker, just peer, peer, pear, pear, There's a reason I have revolvers tattooed on my arm, but now I'm shooting them off horses.

Speaker 1 Like, just a little, like, a pistol personality, I guess. And so, like, my feisty songs, I mean, at every single show,

Speaker 1 pretty much every single show, there's a girl fight in the pit. Every single one.
Yeah, they just get riled up.

Speaker 1 They get riled up. I'm telling you, they just get, I mean.
I wonder if you have more girl fights than other female singers. I don't know.
I bet you do. If every single show, you have a girl.

Speaker 1 Almost every every show. I bet that's real odd.
Have you talked to other female singers? Do they have similar stories?

Speaker 1 How many girls about your show, though? Yeah, you should ask. You should totally ask.

Speaker 1 Because it's like towards this part where it's like, I call it my ramp up. It's like gunpowder and lid, little red wagon, mama's broken heart.
And like they just start getting wound up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they think about their ex. Motherfucker.
Or he's there and they're fucking. It's just a lot.
He's there with them. I have a front row seat to it.
I'll stop if it gets real bad.

Speaker 1 I just stop and go, hey, y'all,

Speaker 1 tone her down a little bit. Really? Every show? Almost every show.
That's really odd, Miranda. I know.
I think that's odd. I think that might be a very specific reaction that you have on people.

Speaker 1 Maybe. I need, I mean, now, and I'm pretty calm now.
I'm like, it's all right. We got some ballads coming up.
Everybody, take a sip, take a seat.

Speaker 1 Y'all settle down.

Speaker 1 I think it's great.

Speaker 1 They're feeling something. Yeah.
You know, bringing down emotion. Yeah.
That's my job. 100%.
Yeah. I bet it's great at the gym, those songs.
Yeah. But think about that bitch they punch at the concert.

Speaker 1 Right, right.

Speaker 1 Elliptical machine. I have a lot of those, like, girl, you're my bitch.
Like, those kind of girls that are good. And I love it.
I love that. Yeah, that's awesome.
That's awesome.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can't buy that. That's a weird feeling.
It is. Yeah.
You have to earn that feeling. You'll have to come to a show that's like

Speaker 1 one that I know for sure is going to be one of those.

Speaker 1 I would love to. I would love to.

Speaker 1 Watch her of the stage. I loved you at the Makana event.
It was amazing. That's such a cool event, too.
It's such a good event. And I love all those boys.

Speaker 1 And Jack, and I've been, I mean, Jack Ingram's one of my heroes from back in the day. Like, I started watching him when I was 15, and he had such charisma.

Speaker 1 And that's why I'd be like, I want to do that.

Speaker 1 Oh, really? That's awesome. I've known him for a really long time.
It's such a cool thing when you're going to an event like that, and it's for a great cause.

Speaker 1 So everybody's like super positive about why they're there. It's not just to have fun.
It's also, it does like such an amazing service for people.

Speaker 1 It does. And they do such a good job with that show.
They do. They put together so well.
You know who blew me away at that show, too? It's Lucas. Yeah, he's great.

Speaker 1 I love him. He is great.
People are like, oh, it's Willie Nelson's son. I'm like, oh, okay, that'll be cool.
And then he started saying, I was like, holy shit.

Speaker 1 Like, this guy's fucking great. He's great.
He's not just good. He's great.
Great musician, and he's a great guy. Sweetheart.
He's a sweetheart. Super sweetheart.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I've

Speaker 1 had the pleasure of getting to know him now. He's a really nice guy.
I love him. He's a genuine nice guy.
But God, can he say? He can.

Speaker 1 Especially when he does that soul stuff. When he really leans into the more soul stuff, it just makes him shine.

Speaker 1 Because it's just so different than what people would think it was going to be. Right.
You know? Right. And his pipes.
Yeah. Woo!

Speaker 1 I mean, the notes he has, I was like,

Speaker 1 and when he goes for it, he like sings with his body, like his whole body, like you know, he's going for it. And I love it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And he does this, like, I don't know, it's going to hurt later in life, but he does this, like, back bending.

Speaker 1 He's on his knees and he's like bent all the way back playing a guitar solo. And I'm like, girl, how does he do that? Is that adrenaline or what is that? Stretching.
Yeah. It's just stretching.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I could probably do that like a decade ago. Not now.
I bet you could. I'm not going to try.

Speaker 1 Well, not on stage. Well, you must have core strength to be on that horse when you're shooting at things.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 It's Pilates. Oh, I'm sure.
Like, I ride so much better when I'm doing like consistent Pilates. I did Pilates once with my wife.
I was like, it's good. Oh, there is

Speaker 1 a lot harder. It's like yoga in a way that like people think, oh, yoga, you're just going and stretching.
Like, no, no, no. Like, go do it.
It's fucking hard. It's hard.
It's hard.

Speaker 1 And Pilates is hard. I was like, oh, this is weird.
This is using weird muscles. Yeah, like shaky ones.

Speaker 1 You're like, why am I shaking? Yeah, like stabilizing muscles. But it's like a really good thing to balance out other stuff.

Speaker 1 you know, but that would definitely improve your core strength and allow you to be able to

Speaker 1 first started riding. I was like, I'm still not great, and I still have fear, you know, on a horse.
Like, I'm just not super comfortable all the time, you know, when we're going fast.

Speaker 1 So I'm just learning to work up to that. But when I first started riding, I didn't start riding a horse ever until I was 30 years old.

Speaker 1 And I wish I'd started at four when I was fearless, you know what I mean? Like, but starting at 30, you're like

Speaker 1 getting on this giant animal and you don't know what you're doing. And my trainer at the time was like, You need to do Pilates.
And so I started Pilates, and it really helped me.

Speaker 1 Like, it helped help me stabilize myself a little more. That's interesting.
Your trainer told you to do Pilates to help horse riding.

Speaker 1 She was my, she was training my horses and teaching me how to ride. She was like, You do not have core strength at all.
You need to go do Pilates. That's interesting that you would choose that.

Speaker 1 Huh? I guess that makes sense. But I would think that there's other stuff you could do, too.
Like, those, you ever see what a bow-suit ball is?

Speaker 1 You know, those things are like standing on that ball with a flat bottom to it where you like balance. Yes, and they have this uh

Speaker 1 it's like this saddle you sit on and it's for that. Like and it it's like real it's almost like one of those balls, but saddle you sit on, like if you were sitting on a yoga ball.
But it's a saddle.

Speaker 1 And like, like my shooting coach, Kenda, my friend Kenda, she'll tell me, get your gun belt on and get your guns out and sit on your is that the yoga ball, the big one? The big workout ball?

Speaker 1 Sit on that and shoot off that. That makes sense.
Like when you're doing your drill

Speaker 1 stabilize. It's all just about stabilizing.

Speaker 1 I know a lot of people that sit at their desk on one of those. Yeah, which is smart.

Speaker 1 I guess.

Speaker 1 I'm glad I don't have to sit at a desk. I don't think I'd do well.
Well, I have to sit at this desk, but these chairs, they keep you upright. These are really good.
Yeah, they're comfy. They're good.

Speaker 1 They make you sit correctly, or at least encourage you to sit correctly. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, when you started doing that when you were 30, how long did it take before you started shooting guns off of one of those? I just started that last year. Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 I mean, I just started last year i started i showed gypsy vanners their like draft lazy draft horses kind of um i got into those because i was 30 and like

Speaker 1 i can't afford to get hurt like i'm on the road all the time so i wanted something safe to learn on have you fallen before oh yeah fallen up a hundred times really yeah i mean i i tried to do hunter jumper i thought i wanted to be

Speaker 1 i was like all excited i'm like i'm gonna be a cowgirl at 30 years old i'm like i'm gonna finally be a cowgirl i'm gonna barrel race well then i learned that that's i don't want to barrel race, which kind of the guns, it's patterns and it's going fast around, you have to go around a barrel.

Speaker 1 So kind of back to that. But this old cowboy trainer, where I got my first horse, he was like, you need to go take English lessons because you need your fundamentals.

Speaker 1 Because you can't, you're not just going to get in a Western saddle and act like you know what you're doing. Go take lessons because English is so proper.
What is English lessons?

Speaker 1 English and like, it's like the hunter jumpers, like the, and dressage. It's like the very proper,

Speaker 1 you know, English riding is, teaches you the fundamentals. Look, I'm sitting up straight or talking about

Speaker 1 to where Western is a lot more loose. And so, it just taught me a lot taking English lessons.
But I thought I'd do hunter-jumper, which is like, you know, jumping over the poles. Right.

Speaker 1 And that's where I really hit the ground a few times. Like, I wasn't ready for that.
You know what I mean? So,

Speaker 1 just, it's been a cool journey. It's just, I mean, it's a lot to learn.
It's a lot to learn. I'm imagining it's also like rough on the body, too.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it is. That's why I'm like, Gimme or safe is my cool, my horse.
He is super safe. I just, I don't,

Speaker 1 I want to learn really badly and I want to grow and be better, but I don't want to do it at a certain cost.

Speaker 1 Do you enter competitions or anything? I showed my vanners for 10 years.

Speaker 1 What does that mean? I just went to horse shows and like.

Speaker 1 You said some words I don't understand.

Speaker 1 I showed my vanners. My vanners.
That sounds dirty when you say it back like that. It does.
What's a vanner? No, it's my gypsy vanners are the kind of horses I have.

Speaker 1 So I went and showed them in competitions like just English pleasure, Western pleasure, like just riding around the rail and it's about your technique. And

Speaker 1 it's not like jumping or so when English, it's just about being in control of the horse. Yep, it's your technique.
It's a horseless issue. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 1 and then I got into the shooting and I'm not going back. Are you going to do competitions with the shooters? I did one last year just to get my first one out of the way.

Speaker 1 And it was fun.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's scary. It's scary as shit, honestly.
But all these girls I ride with are so good. Like, they go 100 miles an hour.
Like,

Speaker 1 I got to show you, Kenda. Like, she is.

Speaker 1 Is there a video of her? Yeah, she's amazing. What's her last name? One Sane.
It's L-A-N-S-E.

Speaker 1 S-I-E-N-G.

Speaker 1 Google it. I'm spelling it.
Jamie will find it. She's amazing.

Speaker 1 They go so fast. And like, it's a timed, I mean, it's a timed event, right? So you're competing just against you, really.
Like, how, how precise and how fast you can go on your horse.

Speaker 1 So you have like a green light and then you go. Green light, you go.
Do they, how do they start you off? They you do. What do they say? They drop a flag.
Oh, they drop a flag and then you go.

Speaker 1 And then you go.

Speaker 1 I didn't go that fast. I did mine in like 28 seconds.
She does it in like eight seconds. Like seven seconds.
Same course? yeah,

Speaker 1 it's insane. She's amazing, but but that's what it's something to work towards.
Like, how many times is she wiped out?

Speaker 1 Oh, she's broke down as hell, she's broke down, she has cowgirl broke down, but she's still going.

Speaker 1 She wiped out so bad last year and just gets right back on, keeps going, riding in a cast, like it's cowgirl way, riding in a cast, tough, tough. That's tough, they're tough, yeah.

Speaker 1 People are built different. They are.
You got any videos? I just found it. Hold on.
Here we go. I want to see this.

Speaker 1 She's awesome. Because I saw that you were doing that.
I was like, that's bananas. But it looks like fun.
It is fun. Do they have one of those where they do bow and arrow? They have bow and arrow.

Speaker 1 There she is. Oh, here she goes.
They have

Speaker 1 bow and arrows. Woo! Rifles.
The rifles are crazy. Imagine this lady running up to you on a ranch with a pistol in her hand.

Speaker 1 She is legit.

Speaker 1 That's crazy. She's one of my besties.

Speaker 1 Is there a high speed where they're not showing it? Here it goes. Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 That's crazy. Oh, man.
This is awesome. She is a learner never misses.

Speaker 1 Oh, now I get it. Okay, this looks like fun.
There's 83 patterns. So the horse never runs the same.

Speaker 1 Wait a minute.

Speaker 1 How is she shooting that many times?

Speaker 1 It's five shots in a gun change. Oh, you have to change your gun.
You have to change your gun. Yeah.
So

Speaker 1 how many shots is it total in one of these rounds where you run? Ten. Ten.
So, okay, so you have ten things. This is like a highlight reel, but yeah.
Ten shots.

Speaker 1 But yeah, so that's my bestie who's teaching me how to do it. That's awesome.
Well, that's how to learn. She's awesome.
Learn from a psycho. She looks completely insane.

Speaker 1 You got to have a serious screw loose to be good at that. Wow.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Look at this dude.
Oh, this is her.

Speaker 1 That's her and Charles. Wow.

Speaker 1 I don't know what those numbers mean, but it looks awesome.

Speaker 1 It looks like fun. Yeah, it's really fun.

Speaker 1 And it's,

Speaker 1 I don't know. It's a very country thing to be involved in.
Well, guess what? There you go.

Speaker 1 Guess what, Joe? I mean, it's perfect. It's perfect.
We talked about chickens. We talked about dogs.
We talked about guns on horses.

Speaker 1 Archery, hunting.

Speaker 1 Fill in the blank. Titos and Teetos.
Exactly. That's a very, but that's a very country activity because it's not just horse riding.
It's horse riding with pistols. Yeah, I mean, come on.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I love it.

Speaker 1 It's funny that I didn't know that that was such a big thing. See if there's one where they do it off with bows and arrows.
I want to see that. It's crazy.
That's crazy.

Speaker 1 I haven't seen that in person, but the raffles.

Speaker 1 Oh, rifles they do too. They do it with raffles, and you don't have reins

Speaker 1 because you got you use two hands to shoot the raffle. So like

Speaker 1 they're riding with their legs. Whoa.
Right? Right. And the horse is making wild turns.
So you have that crazy strength in your legs to catch up. That needs a lot of Pilates.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 So you can find one where they're doing it bows and arrows.

Speaker 1 Because I know that that's how the Mongols did it. That's how the Comanches did it.
They learned how to shoot while they were...

Speaker 1 They learned how to time the release of their arrow while the horse was in the air. So that they had the least amount of disturbance.

Speaker 1 Something like that on

Speaker 1 what is this one?

Speaker 1 Epic equestrian mounted archery.

Speaker 1 But are they is this a competition?

Speaker 1 I mean, I don't know that there's many of them. I don't know that there's a

Speaker 1 targets. Yeah, but this looks like a British horseback archery.
See, that's a she's in a dressage saddle doing that.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, look at this.

Speaker 1 The guy's got the crazy Mongol hat on, too.

Speaker 1 Oh, that makes look at that. That's cool.

Speaker 1 Just in case. Hobby? No.

Speaker 1 I don't fuck with horses.

Speaker 1 It's just a place. I like them.
I love them. I think they're awesome.
I don't want to ride them. There you go.
I mean, nothing for it. Oh, that's cool.
That's like a pattern. Yeah, so very similar.

Speaker 1 Similar kind of deal. Terran Tactical for horses.
Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
Terran Tactical is a tactical range in California. We go and that's where Keanu Reeves learned how to shoot guns.

Speaker 1 I used to go there when I lived in California. You'd do it like shoot already.
Deep. Yeah.
And you go through a tactical course.

Speaker 1 That's where we shoot out at Enscotts Hill.

Speaker 1 It's a bit called Ben Avery Shooting Facility, and it's like all of that.

Speaker 1 Anything that can be shot is shot there.

Speaker 1 So Kenda had them build a rodeo arena so we could do our balloons.

Speaker 1 That would be the coolest thing to have on your property. Yeah.
To have a tactical range right on your property.

Speaker 1 This place is huge, and it's out there in the desert, so like there's plenty of space to do all the things.

Speaker 1 But that's what I was thinking about that the shooting pistols on the horses like when did they figure out to not use bullets? Because like there had to be something happened.

Speaker 1 Something happened. And the horses wear earplugs too, which is great.
That's they probably had to figure that out later in life too. Horses wear earplugs.

Speaker 1 But when did they figure out how many people got shot before they realized, hey, we probably shouldn't be using real bullets to shoot these balloons. Yeah, black powder might be a better call.

Speaker 1 Because you got all those people in the audience and then you got someone on a horse.

Speaker 1 It is.

Speaker 1 And she catches hell for it. People are like, you can't be.
She's like, it's spectator safe. It's safe for the horses.
Everybody wears earplugs. It's black powder.
Who gets mad? People.

Speaker 1 Everybody wants to bitch about something. Right.
You know. But that's just housekeeping.
You would know more than anyone.

Speaker 1 I don't need to tell you.

Speaker 1 You can't make everybody happy. It's impossible.
You can't. And you're always going to make someone mad.
As long as you relate that, you'll be okay.

Speaker 1 And as long as you stay offline. Yeah.
Stay off that TikTok. Stay out of that river.
That TikTok river.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 A lot of people drown in that river. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Anything else we want to talk about? Should we wrap this up? Yeah, I mean, we talked about every country thing you can talk about. We basically did.
Listen, you're really fun to talk to.

Speaker 1 I really enjoyed it. Thank you for having me on here.
My pleasure. I appreciate it.
And I love your music, and I love your personality, so it was really cool to have you in here.

Speaker 1 Well, come see us on the road. I would love to.
I'd love to have you. Are you ever in offline? I'm in the San Antonio Rodeo next year.
When is that? What time? February. February.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 So, like, in a couple of months. Yeah.
Okay. We'll try to make it down for that.
Are you ever in Austin, though? I haven't played in Austin in a long time. Really? I don't know why.

Speaker 1 I'm here all the time, and I don't know. I need to get that on the books.
Okay. Well, I will come.
I will definitely come. Well, thank you.
Thank you. My pleasure.

Speaker 1 If anybody wants to go find you out on the river,

Speaker 1 social media of the river. I'm on all your social media platforms.

Speaker 1 MirandaLambert.com. Okay.

Speaker 1 Thank you very much. Bye, everybody.
everybody.