How to Actually Be Disciplined (Consistently)

Here's a question.

What if I told you the reason you can't stay disciplined isn't because you're weak?

It's because no one has ever showed you how to actually master it.

I've done the hard sht.

On paper, I look like someone who's mastered this.

I run two incredible companies.

I train every day.

I've even finished a goddamn Iron Man seven times.

Real discipline is a system, a framework.

I call it the discipline triangle.

It has these three key parts.

You have the pain, you have the purpose, and you have the proof.

If you're missing even one, the whole system breaks down.

The discipline goes away and it becomes unsustainable.

That's why people quit.

That's why people burn out.

I wish someone had showed me this triangle 20 years ago.

It would have literally saved me a ton of time.

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So let's break it down, starting with the first P, pain.

Growth only lives on the other side of discomfort.

And this one's going to be tough for you to hear because what I'm asking you to do is seek discomfort, to decide to do the hard thing.

Things that are valuable in life, luxury goods, nice cars, beautiful homes, they're not easy to get, but they're worth it.

If you avoid the pain, you avoid the progress.

Because here's the reality.

Pain will happen regardless.

So choose your pain.

This is a crazy story.

Three weeks before my Ironman, I got cut off by a van on my bike going 20 miles an hour in arrow.

It caused me to fly through the air, almost landing on my head.

Luckily, I tucked and I caught the ground with my back.

It destroyed my bike.

It literally almost killed me.

After it happened, everybody said to me, hey man, maybe this is a sign you should slow down.

Maybe you should chill out.

Maybe you don't need to race.

Maybe you let your body recover.

And I said, maybe this is the reason I'm going to finish.

Maybe God's testing me right now.

Maybe everything I'm asking for is going to exist on the other side of me dealing with this adversity.

Maybe it's getting me ready to receive.

what I've been asking for.

Pain wasn't my enemy.

It was actually the exact thing that I needed to become the kind of person who could finish that kind of race.

I rehabbed.

I trained.

I did the work and I raced.

And I ended up beating the time I had set for myself.

Discomfort is actually the price.

And most people are way too cheap to pay it.

I didn't get that for a long time, but once I did, everything changed around me.

So here's how you do it.

The first thing is you have to pick one challenge that scares you.

And when I say scared, it might make you feel uncomfortable, might give you anxiety.

Maybe it's shooting a video every day for 100 days.

Maybe it's going to the gym every day for 100 days.

I need you to pick one challenge that you can commit to.

Physical or putting yourself out there, they're the best because there's no way to fake it.

You either did it or you didn't do it.

You either went to the gym or posted the video or you didn't do it.

Then you have to tell people.

When you tell people, you activate the positive peer pressure.

You have other people that now know that you made a commitment to do that thing and they will ask you, hey man, how you doing with that?

And the best part.

is you have to show up daily.

That's why a daily rhythm of hard is the right strategy to train your response to discomfort, to choose hard, to choose pain.

When you default to things being hard, you go good because you know everybody else will give up.

That's when you know you're on the right path.

So stop avoiding pain and start choosing it.

But here's the thing, pain alone isn't enough.

If you're just grinding through the pain without knowing why, that's not discipline.

That's suffering.

And most people quit not because it was hard, but because they had no reason to keep going.

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That's where the second piece of the triangle comes in, purpose.

You have to have a why.

You have to have a direction.

You have to have a purpose.

It is bigger than just you.

It's crazy because ego goals, they fade.

Purpose ones, they last.

Purpose turns struggle into fuel.

The bigger the why, the stronger the why, the easier the how.

Because if you don't know why you're doing it, as soon as the pain shows up, you'll give up.

One of my favorite stories is my buddy.

He's done 16 Iron Mans, but he's never really pushed himself.

And I remember at the last race, his coach called him out and said, hey man, I don't think I've ever seen your potential.

You're showing up, you're doing all the work, but I've never seen you actually race because I don't think you have a reason to.

push.

I don't think you have a purpose.

And he challenged him.

He said, for each part of the Iron Man, I want you to pretend that you're finishing it to save your children.

When he got out of the swim, his coach said to him, your daughter's safe.

And he came back and in the transition, his coach said to him, your second daughter safe.

And he f ⁇ ing ran.

And he finished that race to his three beautiful girls doing his best time he's ever done.

Pain without purpose is suffering.

But pain with purpose, that's f ⁇ ing transformation.

So the way we do this is very simple.

First, ask yourself, who is this for?

Why does this matter?

How would it help them?

And then what's cool is you connect your pain to a value.

Maybe your values are family, maybe it's freedom, maybe it's legacy, maybe it's impact, whatever it is for you.

Make the reason you show up and do the hard thing to be an example of somebody that embraces those values.

See, if your goals only serve you, it won't survive the hard days.

If you make this about you, you've already lost the race.

It's way easier to let yourself down than to let someone you love down.

If you keep your goals private, if you don't make it about other people, if you don't tell them, then you'll just quietly give up.

Yet again, another time, you tried and it didn't last.

You made a good effort, but it wasn't enough because you didn't do it for them.

See, if you make a commitment to those people, especially the ones that you love, and they see you drag your feet, not go to the gym, not do the work, they're going to ask you why.

And I learned a long time ago, you'll do 10 times more for somebody else than you'll ever do for yourself because you don't want to let them down.

You don't want to disappoint them.

You don't want to be that guy.

And finally, write your whys down.

Read them daily.

Put them at the top of your goals list.

Make sure that you understand the purpose behind the projects, the purpose behind the goals, the purpose behind the outcomes.

If you don't, the pain will overwhelm you.

But with a big enough why, the how is so friggin easy, especially when it gets hard.

Now, purpose gives your pain meaning, but it's still just potential.

What actually changes you is what happens after you follow through.

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Now let's get back to the episode.

That's where the final piece of the discipline triangle really comes in.

Proof.

You don't need more grit.

or blind confidence.

You need more evidence.

You need more f ⁇ ing receipts of you proving to yourself that you've done the things you say you're going to do.

Too often, people are like, I'm going to be a millionaire in a year.

Prove it.

What did you do today?

What did you do last week?

I'm interested in that.

Show me your calendar.

Show me the receipts.

Show me the evidence.

See, what you say doesn't matter.

It's the proof that you backed it up with action.

Every time you keep the promise that you've made to yourself or other people, you've collected another receipt.

And ultimately, enough receipts equals real confidence.

This is what builds proof.

That's why the discipline triangle requires it.

You stop hoping you're that person.

You start knowing you are.

And then knowing the deep knowingness that you're that guy, the next challenge, way easier.

The person who walks in the room, confidence.

The ask of the customer to give you money, no problem.

That's what makes you unstoppable.

When I go back the first sprint triathlon, it just gave me proof.

And every time I've crossed another finish line since then, the easier the next feels.

When I finished my first full distance Iron Man, When I crossed the finish line, it wasn't about the metal.

It was about that voice in my head that used to doubt me.

In that moment, I had the answer to those doubts.

It wasn't luck.

It wasn't hype.

It was years of trial and error finally clicking into place.

I had proof.

I did exactly what I said I would do.

This is the reason.

Confidence is the byproduct of keeping the commitments you make to yourself in private.

Private means those conversations you have in your head.

So when it comes to proof, here's what you got to remember.

Keep small promises to yourself.

Those little tiny ones, they start and they can erode so easily.

It's like a drop of water.

Over time, it can literally bore a hole through stone.

And you think it's not a big deal, it's a big deal.

And whether you did it or not, track it down.

Track what you said you'd do and whether you did it or not.

Third, the next one, don't aim for perfect.

Aim for consistent.

See, perfection is procrastination in disguise.

It's also self-sabotage.

Too many people get ready to start as self-sabotaging themselves from ever achieving their goals.

And then we have to stack the wins, even the messy ones.

If you got up and went to the gym, I don't care if you didn't feel like it was the best workout of your life, you got it done.

And the best part, let your actions speak louder than your plans.

I don't care what you're going to do.

I care what you did.

You care what you did.

You know what you committed to.

Follow through.

If you lock in all three, pain, purpose, and proof, discipline stops feeling so f ⁇ ing heavy.

At the end of the day, This is what real discipline is.

Discipline isn't about pursuing harder.

It's about building something that lasts.

Use it, man.

Use it.

Use it to build your 10.0 self.

It took me so friggin long to learn this and you just got it in a single sitting.

So don't waste it.

Go live it.

Be the kind of motherfucker who gets happy when things get hard.

And if you want to take this to the next level and get rid of the fear of rejection, click here and I'll see you on the other side.

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