40 Brutal Truths I Wish I Knew in My 20s

At the time of this recording, I'm 44 years old, and if I could go back and talk to my 20-year-old self and give some advice on how to get rich a lot faster, here's what I would say. Welcome to the Martell Method.
I went from rehab at 17 to building a $100 million empire and being a Wall Street Journal bestselling author. In this podcast, I'll show you exactly how to build a life and business you don't grow to hate.
My bestselling book, Buy Back Your Time, is out now. Grab a copy at buybackyourtime.com or at any of your preferred online retailers.
Number one, don't make the mistake of becoming good at something you hate. When I started off, I thought I had to get great at everything.
And it turns out that if you don't like something, if you hate doing numbers or doing sales calls or even doing customer support, when you get good at something you like doing, you can pay somebody else to take the things that you hate doing. Number two, go to bed and wake up at the exact same time every day.
If you take anything away from this video, having a time that you wake up every day to create, to be productive and go to bed on time, most problems would actually be solved if you went to bed on time. The longer you do this for, it will compound into greatness.
Number three, your body is the only one you have. Take care of it.
When people are healthy, they have a thousand goals and dreams they want to go after. When they're sick, they have one.
Get healthy. Most people treat their body like a beat up car, not like the million dollar thoroughbred horse.
It actually is. If you've got the energy, you've got the focus and you can push forward, you're going to run laps around everybody.
Number four, stay close to people that want more for you, not from you. When I was growing up, all I had was people around me that were energy vampires.
They kept sucking my energy and asking for things and never, ever giving anything in return. And when I decided to do a friendventory and clean up those people and start adding folks that wanted more for me, that pushed me, that expected me to do bigger things with my life, and then were my biggest cheerleaders, everything changed.
Number five, normalize leaving people in whatever reality they have chosen. I used to argue with people.
I used to get frustrated when people would try to sell me on their philosophy of living a life that's not too stressed out. And why do you need to have more? Can't you be happy with what you have? I realized that energy is better spent being better.
That energy is better invested surrounding myself with people that were also in that shared journey. The cool part is I don't get upset anymore.
I just don't acknowledge it. I just allow them to stay in that reality that they've chosen.
And every once in a while, you'll inspire them to come ask you how you've been doing it. Number six, being humble isn't about thinking less of yourself.
It's about thinking of yourself less. People sometimes misunderstand my confidence in what I'm doing or the way I communicate as, it's not humble.
I am. The truth is, is I'm all about service.
You thinking small or being timid in your actions is actually not gonna inspire or help anybody else. So put other people first, but don't think less of yourself.
Number seven, you get tested the most when it's your time to level up. This one I've seen over and over and over again.
When I was recording the audio for my book, I got the flute. When I was about to hit a new PR at the gym, I injured myself.
When I was about to have a record month, somebody quit. And it's interesting how right when you're about to break through, something in your life happens.
And I always remind myself in those moments, I get to prove to myself that I'm as good as I think I am when things are going great. Anytime I'm being tested, I just remind myself, God is asking me, do you really, really want this? Number eight, improving yourself daily is the only addiction you need.
I'm addicted to the expansion of my being. I love waking up every day a little bit better, a little bit more refined, a little bit more focus, a little stronger, a little more confidence, a little bit more full of joy, a little bit more full of grace.
If you wake up with the attitude of just 1% better every day, and if you have a step back, that's okay. Give yourself a break, but just keep focusing on being better.
Make that obsession, the thing you go find every day, that will change your whole life. Number nine is you teach people how to treat you.
I see this all the time where someone is responding to a text message and then they're upset that the person didn't email them or a customer cancels a meeting and you say nothing and then they continuously cancel meetings on you and you're just like why do they always do that you teach people how to treat you if you don't set your standard you don't communicate your preference if you don't hold that standard then people around you are going to continue to do things that frustrate you because you haven't said anything whereas the first time they do it and you tell them that becomes the new, they will treat you differently. Just like somebody that's always late.
If you allow them to be late, you never leave without them, then they'll never learn the lesson and you've taught them that that's okay. Number 10, it's better to admit you walk through the wrong door than to spend a lot of time in the wrong room.
See, oftentimes we're born into a city that we didn't choose, a school that we didn't choose, a friend group, honestly, we didn't really choose. They just sat next to us in high school.
And instead of acknowledging that maybe that scenario, that place isn't the best for us and moving on, we stay in it way too long. And I will tell you, the faster you can acknowledge and move, the better your life's going to be.
Number 11, you waiting for a sign is a sign. Back when I was a teenager,

I made a series of bad decisions that landed me in jail.

And in that moment, I turned to God.

And I said, show me a sign.

The fact that I was asking was the sign.

The fact that I needed him was proof.

The fact that I was at rock bottom

sometimes is God showing you

that he is the rock at the bottom.

So you don't need another sign.

If you want one, this is it.

Thank you. The fact that I was at rock bottom sometimes is God showing you that he is the rock at the bottom.
So you don't need another sign. If you want one, this is it.
Number 12, nothing you've gone through has made you weaker. Anytime somebody's struggling or having an issue in their business or their personal life, I always remind them that you've gone through worse, you've made it through it, and the reason why you are who you are today is because of those conflicts, those challenges, those setbacks.
We don't get better without having to go through things. This is just another opportunity for you to grow.
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Find it at martellmethod.com. Number 13, everything wants you when you want nothing.
The person that has the most power, the most confidence, the most status in a room is the person that needs nothing from anybody else. When you come off as somebody that's needy, it feels that way.
That energy is kind of like icky. When you can get to a place where you don't need anything and you focus on you and what you can control, that's actually when abundance is gonna show up into your life.
Number 14, you have to be willing to be misunderstood for long periods of time to be successful. If you have a vision for your life that is bigger than anything anybody around you today is trying to do, then they won't understand why you do what you do.
And that's normal. It means they're going to misunderstand you.
They're not going to understand why you're doing certain things, why you're sacrificing, why you're showing up a certain way. And that's okay because all those people that misunderstood you will brag about being your friend once you win.
Number 15, when things get easy, go hard. Every time I get to another level and things start getting easy, I remind myself how I used to act when I was starting off.
Most people start to climb that mountain, have some success, and then chill out. My whole thing is, why am I not acting the same way I was when I had nothing? Because I had a vision for my life.
It was way bigger. And if anything, you should go hard when things start getting easy to remind yourself that you're still fighting for the bigger dreams.
Number 16, only ask for advice from people who have been where you want to go. If the person giving you advice has never achieved the thing you want to do, then their strategy is going to be flawed.
It doesn't matter how many books they've read. It doesn't matter how many things they think other people have done.
It doesn't matter how many stories that they share about things they heard from somebody else. If they themselves have not done it, then their feedback is going to be tainted.
It's going to be flawed. And honestly, they're going to give you the wrong blueprint to achieve.
So always find the people that have been to the place you want to be and ask them for their advice. Number 17, the word no is a complete sentence.
You're allowed to just say no. I know that you're worried about hurting people's feelings, but what about your feelings? Have you ever said yes to somebody and you went to a thing and then you're there and you're like, why am I here? Or you get on a call with somebody that you don't know that somebody introduced you three months ago and you're like, why am I on this call? You're allowed to just say no.
And a no today is a yes to your future. Number 18, don't dim your light to make other people feel comfortable.
If you shine in your light and being who you are and be authentically yourself blinds other people because that is too much for them, then I'd rather you be too much and they can go find less. Number 19, have a primary aim for your life.
People ask me all the time, why are you so motivated? My response is, why are you not more motivated? I know why I'm here. I know what my life is going to stand for.
I know what my purpose is. When we have that primary aim, it becomes the fuel to pull us forward to achieve some incredible things in our lives.
Number 20, stop reading books, start studying them. See, there's a difference.
If I'm reading a book just to say I read it, I'm not going to retain it. If I'm reading a book because I'm studying it to not only apply to my life, to then teach other people, that consumption, that level of comprehension is going to change and shift my beliefs, my actions, and the way I show up for other people.
That's what it means to study a book. Number 21, always assume positive intent.
You're driving. Somebody cuts you off.
You can use that moment to get road rage and get pissed off and start flipping them the bird and screaming at them and then take the whole morning processing how that person did you wrong. Or you can assume positive intent that maybe they're in a rush because somebody they love is in the hospital.
Either one is as likely to be true. The second one enables you to not emotionally over-respond, keeping you focused on your dreams.
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Now let's get back to the episode. Number 22, put your own mask on first before helping others.
When the plane's going down, they tell you, put the mask on so that you have the capacity to help people around you. Most of you guys get distracted by other people's dramas, other issues, and it takes you off of your pursuit to becoming better.
The truth is, is you can't help those other people until you get the resources. So if you keep getting distracted and you don't get those resources, by the time they really need your help, you're not gonna be ready for them.
Number 23, look for problems, don't avoid them. I can tell you that the quality of your life, the size of your life is correlated to the size of problems you have in your life.
So instead of being worried about having big problems, actually go find bigger problems to solve. Number 24, your new life will cost you your old one.
If you want to move forward, it's gonna require you to change the way you've been, which will mean that how you've been living will not work for the future, because if it did, you'd already have the things you want. So if you're not willing to reassess, let go, cut things out of your life, then you'll always be held back from your past from creating a brighter future.
Number 25, confidence comes from keeping the commitments you make to yourself in private. Most of you want more confidence, but the truth is, is you rode that confidence every time you make a commitment that nobody else knows about, and you don't follow through.
You don't get up at 5am when you said you would. You don't go to the gym when you said you would.
You don't eat clean when you said you would. And every time you do that, you chip away at your confidence to the point where you start having self-doubt, anxiety, imposter syndrome.
Number 26, dedicate a decade, not a day. Some people go to the gym once and they can't shut up about it.
They're like, oh my God, I got an arm pump. That was so great.
I'm not impressed with anybody that does something for a day, a week, a month, even for a year. When you're willing to dedicate a decade of your time, energy, focus, and resources to achieving something, trust me, the world will collude in your favor to be great.
Number 27, treat others the way you want to be treated. If you want more love in your life, then give more love.
If you want higher quality relationships, then be a better friend. The more you show up with respect, with motivation, with positivity, with non-judgment, the rest of the world will treat you the exact same way.
Number 28, tell people about them. The most powerful thing you have is the acknowledgement of somebody doing something great in your life.
You never know when that word, that sentence, that moment might be the thing that actually could have saved somebody's life. And I know that sounds dramatic, but I've seen it happen so many times.
You have no idea what people are going through around you. And that one compliment at the right time for the right person might be the thing they needed to stop a downward spiral.
Number 29, if you keep running into bad people, you may be the problem. I was training with my buddy the other day and he's a bit of a complainer.
I was like, hey man, do you realize that you complain a lot? And he's like, oh, I've never really noticed that. And I was like, yeah, and I bet your friends complain a lot because misery loves company.
So if a lot of drama is in your life, you might be the person creating the drama. It's nobody else's fault.
Like go look in a mirror. Number 30, avoid drama and gossip at all costs.
If you want to be a high level person, don't spend time in drama and gossip. They're allergic to it.
As soon as they hear it, they run away from it. Why? Because they're spending all their time in a place of opportunity and creation in the future.
And in that space, there's no place for that drama and that gossiping. Number 31, fear gives bad advice.
In those dark periods, those moments where you wanna give up, where you just feel like you've had enough, just know that that is when you are giving yourself the worst advice. Don't take it from you.
Find somebody else, give them the scenario, and ask maybe two or three people. That's the best way to overcome those moments where you're full of fear.
Number 32, it's never too late to change. I don't care if you're 87 or 27, I'm telling you, today in this moment, you have an opportunity to decide to change your life.
And everybody had to take that first step. I had to take that first step.
I had to start at zero. Everybody goes through it.
And today could be the day for you. Before we get back to the episode, if you actually want to know what my real life looks like and see the people and the businesses and the companies i buy and my family and just like how i make it all work go follow me on instagram damn martell two l's and martell on instagram it's where i show the behind the scenes the real deal real time i'd love to see you there have an amazing day number 33 get rid of get rid of all your vices.
And I'm talking about all of them. I'm talking about the gambling, the porn, the social media, the news, the sugar, the friends, the drama.
Some of you guys are addicted to things that you don't realize are holding you back. If you want more, you have to let things go from the past so that you have space for the more.
Number 34, if you're addicted to your phone, your life just isn't interesting enough. If the best thing you got is being distracted by doom scrolling on social media, go pick up some hobbies.
Go get around people that are living life a little bit more exciting. I'm telling you, if you start doing things in the real world that freak you out, that scare you a little bit, that push you over your edge, that's way more interesting than you just sitting there getting these dopamine hits on social media.
Number 35, take on as much responsibility as you can. You've got capacity.
Offer to help people, especially people that are in a position to serve you and your dreams going forward. Always say yes.
Always say yes. The person that's always available will figure out through that overwhelm how to get more done and eventually you'll be be the person that they default to, to get involved in really cool projects.
Number 36, don't blame anybody else but yourself. I'm talking anybody.
I'm talking all circumstances. The end of the day, as soon as you blame somebody else for where you're at, you lose control.
As soon as you acknowledge that nobody's coming to save you and that you are in control of your life, your decisions, your circumstances, and no matter what anybody else is doing, you will then unlock the ability to move forward. If it's other people that need to like me or do things to be successful, I'll never win.
Number 37, be blissfully dissatisfied with where you're at in life. And I got this from my coach, Ed Milet.
You want to understand that what you've got today, you should be crazy grateful for as little or as big as it is. But at the same time, know and believe that you were here and created for something more.
And that's the dissatisfied part. It sounds like a dichotomy.
But I'm telling you, you can have gratitude and at the same time realize you were created for more. Number 38, make time for what matters to you.
If you tell me your family's important, your girlfriend's important, your best friend's important, show me in your calendar where you've dedicated time to it.

See, a lot of people say things are important, but they don't make them a priority.

Any new requests from strangers end up in their calendar way before the thing that they said is important.

If it matters to you, you make time for it.

Number 39, respect comes from admiration, not fear.

I look up to people that are givers, that have done big things.

I'm not looking up to people or respecting folks just because I'm scared of what they might do to me or they won't accept me for example you might have a boss and you're worried they're going to fire you all the time that person isn't a good person i want to follow a leader that's going to hold me to a higher standard that's also going to show up and coach me to become better that's somebody i admire when you can change your frame to find the people that you admire because of how they show up in the world as a giver, you'll change because you're not going to dim your light to help somebody that wasn't going to help you unless it helped them. Number 40, life is a mirror, not a window.
See, a lot of you guys are spending time looking out the windows, comparing yourself to other people. And the truth is, is your life is a reflection of who you are.
The world isn't as it is. The world is as you are, and it is a mirror.
So if you want the rest of the thing to get better, you got to get better. And it's based on what you see when you look in that mirror.
Are you capable? Are you creating? Are you pushing forward? That's the most powerful lesson out of all of them. If you want to learn the eight money rules that I wish I knew in my twenties, click the link and I'll see you on the other side.
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