Ep. 1560 - All The Reasons Why Abolishing The DOE Is A Great Move By Trump

Today on the Matt Walsh Show, Donald Trump has taken a major step towards fully abolishing the

Department of Education. By every metric, the department has utterly failed our children.

We'll take a look at some of those metrics today. Also, alleged comedian Bill Burr appears on The

View and has a nice, polite conversation, making it one of the most disgraceful performances by

a comedian of all time. A new video shows that we are very rapidly approaching the point where

some crazed leftist is going to kill somebody for driving a Tesla. And DoorDash will now offer you

the chance to finance your Chipotle order. All of that and more today American dream starts with purpose.
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Visit gcu.edu. When Ronald Reagan was campaigning to succeed Jimmy Carter, one of his core campaign pledges was eliminating the Department of Education.
After he defeated Carter in a landslide, Reagan reiterated the pledge during his first State of the Union address. The budget plan I submitted to you, Reagan told Congress, will realize major savings by dismantling the Department of Education.
But Congress, specifically Democrats in the House of Representatives, ultimately rejected the idea, so Reagan kind of moved on. Nevertheless, Republicans kept promising to get rid of the DOE for many years.
In 1996, after Gingrich led the revolution in Congress, the GOP platform stated, quote, the federal government has no constitutional authority to be involved in school curricula or to control jobs in the marketplace. This is why we will abolish the Department of Education.
But that never happened either. Instead, when George W.
Bush became president, spending on the DOE ballooned by more than 65% in just two years. In other words, the party that relentlessly campaigned on getting rid of the Department of Education had actually managed to accomplish the exact opposite of their stated goal.
They made the DOE even larger, even better funded, and even harder to eliminate. Now, throughout this period, no Republican president even attempted to do what Donald Trump just did yesterday when he signed an executive order directing the Secretary of Education to take, quote, all necessary steps to facilitate the closure of the Department of Education and return education authority to the states.
And in signing this order, Trump did more to shut down the Department of Education than any of his predecessors. By the Trump administration's own admission, you know, this is not the final step in the process.
Congress will ultimately have to take the final step of actually eradicating the department. But in the meantime, the order allows the education secretary to drastically scale back in terms of staffing and funding and operations at the DOE.
And on Thursday, Trump explained why this is such an important step to take after so many decades of Republicans trying and failing and then eventually not even trying anymore to get it done. Watch.
Today, we take a very historic action that was 45 years in the making. In a few moments, I will sign an executive order to begin eliminating the Federal Department of Education once and for all.
After 45 years, the United States spends more money on education by far than any other country and spends likewise by far more money per pupil than any country. And it's not even close, but yet we rank near the bottom of the list in terms of success.
Uh, it's an amazing stat. That's, uh, those are two stats you don't want the most money per pupil, and you're at the bottom of the list.
And that's where we are, like it or not. And we've been there for a long time.
70% of eighth graders are not proficient in either reading or in math. 70%.
40% of fourth graders lack even basic reading skills, can't read.

Students in our public elementary and middle schools score worse in reading today than when the department opened by a lot.

In Baltimore, 40% of the high schools have zero students who can do basic mathematics.

Not even the very simplest of mathematics. I said, give me your definition of basic.
And they're talking about like adding a few numbers together. So you just heard Trump outline some statistics showing that while the DOE has grown enormously over the years, the quality of Americans' education has plummeted.
The vast majority of our students are not capable of demonstrating proficiency in either reading or math. In a moment, I'll discuss more of these statistics because it's important to spell out the sheer, almost unbelievable magnitude of the department's many, many failures.
By every single available metric, the DOE has overseen the collapse of education in this country. But before I go into these details, it's important to understand how the left is responding to Trump's executive order.
If you listen to what these people are saying, they're not actually disputing Trump's fundamental claim, which is that the department has not done its job. They're not even trying to claim that the education system in the United States has been improving since the DOE was established, or that most students in this country understand basic arithmetic and reading comprehension.
They're not disputing the fact that we've gone backwards since Jimmy Carter gave us the Department of Education. Instead, all the arguments from the left amount to some sort of allegation that the vast bureaucracy of the Department of Education will no longer be able to distribute taxpayer money to various school programs.

That's the catastrophe that they're complaining about.

CNN, for example, trotted out someone who apparently won a Teacher of the Year award back in 2016,

and now this person is in Congress, and here's her complaint.

What is your reaction to what the president is planning today?

I'm disgusted. I'm disgusted because for as much as everyone is having this conversation, I haven't heard anyone say what will happen next.
I haven't heard anyone say how the services will continue to be delivered to the 49 million children who rely on special education. So this is one of the ways that large, sprawling bureaucracies manage to stick around for decades, even after it's clear to everyone that they're useless.
They grow out of control like a cancer, but at the same time, they still control a small amount of relatively important functions. And they make the claim that if you kill the cancer, then you're also going to kill the host.
So think back a few weeks ago to when the Trump administration cut some jobs at the national parks and Yosemite National Park responded by claiming that people were going to get trapped in bathrooms now because the Trump administration had apparently fired their only locksmith. And according to the Washington Post, that one locksmith was the only person in the entire park with the institutional knowledge to rescue people who are trapped in the bathroom.
That is to use a key to unlock a door and open the door. There was one guy who was like the keeper of this sacred knowledge and he's been fired.
So now we're going to have millions of people starving to death because they've been locked in bathrooms. When you cut funding to any large organization, this is the kind of thing that inevitably happens.
They try to make it seem like some kind of disaster is imminent and that you can't possibly account for all the useful functions that bureaucracy was serving. But of course, none of that is true.
Yellowstone can simply find another locksmith or they can make a copy of the keys. And along the same

lines, the handful of useful functions, the small handful that the Department of Education arguably provides, like supporting disabled children in poor school districts or managing the student loan program, can easily continue even after the DOE itself is abolished. And Trump outlined that plan yesterday.
Watch. But the department's useful functions and such as they're in charge of them.
Pell grants, Title I funding, resources for children with disabilities and special needs will be preserved, fully preserved. They're all going to be.
So if you look at the Pell grants, supposed to be a very good program, Title I funding and resources for children with special disabilities and special needs, they're going to be preserved in full and redistributed to various other agencies and departments that will take very good care of them. And that's very important to Linda, I know, and it's very important to all of us.
So the very key point here is that eliminating the Department of Education is less about cost savings, although those will be significant, and more about returning power over the education system to the states. Right now, bureaucrats in Washington have the power to require school districts and universities to adopt various left-wing policies in exchange for receiving funding.
Think about the Biden administration's expansion of Title IX to cover trans-identifying students or their funding for racial equity and climate initiatives and so on and so on. Even the student loan program has been manipulated to advance the left's agenda with various pauses that are designed, practically speaking, to force taxpayers to cover the cause.
And getting rid of this left-wing control of the education system and handing it back to the states, that's the real objective here. And that's why the head of one of the largest teachers unions in the country, Randy Weingarten, is so irate about the closure of the Department of Education.
She's been complaining about it for months now. And yesterday, as she was whining on CNN, the anchor tried to point out that the unions worked closely with the DOE to ensure that schools were closed throughout the COVID lockdowns.
And when she was confronted with this obviously and highly inconvenient piece of information, Weingarten simply denied it. Unions, especially yours, has gotten a lot of criticism in recent years, especially after COVID.
We saw, for instance, you know, the support of overly broad school closures. That's one of the big examples.
And that has fueled a lot of animus towards the Department of Education, towards teachers unions. Do you reflect on that? I mean, what are you taking away from that in the position that that may have fueled sort of the support that allows President Trump to be in a position to do something that you find so problematic, like eliminating the Department of Education in all intents and purposes? So, Brianna, COVID was a terrible time for us.
And as you know, because I was on your show a lot and other shows, I wanted schools to be reopened as early as April of 2020. The issue was the fear and the issue was the safety issues.
But COVID has really hurt in so many ways. So she's just blatantly lying.
Of course, this woman is a liar. It's all she does.
We all remember the images of teachers going on spring break, even as the teachers unions were arguing that schools need to remain closed for safety reasons. And it got so bad that in 2021, the largest teachers union in Los Angeles had to send out a memo telling teachers to stop posting their spring break pictures.
Quote, if you're planning any trips for spring break, please keep that off of social media. It's hard to argue that it's unsafe for in-person instruction if parents and the public see vacation photos and international travel.
Close quote. Yeah, you think? Everybody saw this happening.
Everyone understood the Department of Education supported these closures because the unions demanded them, even though they were clearly fraudulent. But all that needs to be memory-hold now, along with everything Randy Weingarten was saying during the COVID lockdowns, you can pull up about a thousand clips and news articles of Weingarten saying repeatedly throughout 2020 that schools should remain closed.
That if you try to if you open schools, you'll be murdering teachers and students. The account Mays on X has gathered a lot of footage highlighting this.
And all these clips are from after April of 2020, when she's now claiming she wanted to reopen the schools. But here's what she was actually saying.
Watch. And if people are in high risk, they shouldn't be in school.
They should be doing things remotely. Just because Donald Trump wants to take a risk with people who go to bars or beaches, those of us who have spent our life teaching kids are not going to take a risk with kids or with our members' lives.
Remote and hybrid are really the only two ways you can reopen schools safely.

You've got to delay school opening because if you don't have the mask,

how are you going to be able to do this?

There's a huge difference between working in Walmart and working in a school.

You know, even a situation like Florida, where it was pretty clear that schools should not reopen and where Miami schools did not reopen because you had people who were courageous and who were willing to defy DeSantos' denials. Yeah, so we heard she claimed that she wanted to open schools in April of 2020.
Here we have her in September of 2020, the start of a new school year, still demanding that schools remain closed. And as devastating as these school closures were, they permanently disrupted the educational and psychological development of millions of schoolchildren.
They're just one of many, many data points that illustrate the failures of the Department of Education. Donald Trump mentioned a few of those data points in a signing ceremony, but we could go through a few more.
If you pull up the Nation's Report Card, which is published by the DOE, you'll find that reading scores for 13-year-old students have declined since the department was established in 1979. So in 1980, the average score was 258.
That's the baseline. In 2023, the average reading score was two points lower.
And I'm reading directly off of a table from the DOE here, which is intended to show long-term trends. And the trend is clearly negative, regardless of any differences in how the test has been administered.
But even among more recent versions of this test, it's still an obvious negative trend. The reading score for 13-year-olds was 257 in 2004.
And then again, now it's lower than that. Meanwhile, in 2024, the national average ACT composite score was the lowest it's been in at least the past three decades, even though they've done everything it can to make the test easier.
In 2012, the average ACT score was over 21. Now it's 19.4.
And this is a decline that began several years before COVID. So lockdowns weren't the only cause.
Additionally, the number of students scoring below a 16, which indicates that they're not ready to go to college or whatever, has dramatically increased since the 1970s. This is a test that more than a million high school students take every year or about a third of every graduating class.
And it's showing very clearly that these students have been underperforming for a very long time. Of course, over time, student-level problems become adult-level problems.
That's exactly what we're seeing.

A study from Northwestern recently found that throughout most of the 20th century, IQ scores increased by around three to five IQ points per decade. And this is a phenomenon known as the Flynn effect.
By beginning in 2006, the trend reversed in virtually every single category in this country except for spatial reasoning. Quote, ability scores of verbal reasoning, logic and vocabulary, matrix reasoning, matrix reasoning, visual problem-solving analogies, and letter and number series, computational slash mathematical, dropped during the study period.
The differences in scores were present regardless of age, education, or gender. Now, pretty much every major study bears this out.
Recently, for example, researchers at the University of San Diego found that Americans' vocabulary skills have significantly declined since the 1970s, even though many more people go to college now. So take a look at this chart here, and that shows the decline of Americans' ability to answer basic vocabulary questions on a standardized test from 1974 to 2016, controlling for education.

They use the same words on the test from year to year, so it's a fair comparison. And we can confidently say that there has indeed been a massive drop in verbal ability, as you can clearly see.
The researchers concluded that Americans across all levels of educational attainment

Have become less able to correctly answer vocabulary questions

On a standard test of vocabulary The researchers concluded that, quote, In fact, if you look at the data, you'll find that people with less than a high school education actually have improved the most since the 1970s when it comes to vocabulary. By not going to school, they've apparently learned more vocabulary than people with graduate degrees.
Other data shows that Americans still have very limited understanding of statistics and basic geography, despite the best efforts of the Department of Education. National Geographic found that a majority of young Americans grossly overstated the U.S.
population. Close to one-third said that the U.S.
has one to two billion people, or roughly one-third of the world's population. And additionally, less than 40% of Americans could find England on a map.
In other words, test scores, literacy, knowledge of geography and civics, etc., are all on the decline. And really, every dumb guy on the street video of some American who spent 13 years in public education and probably another four years in university and can't identify which century the Civil War was fought in is an indictment of the education system and thus the DOE.
And that's why Donald Trump's executive order getting rid of the Department of Education is obviously a major step in the right direction. It's hard to imagine how we can do any worse, frankly.
What's coming next is a battle in Congress to finalize the destruction of the DOE so that states can present an alternative, one that prioritizes learning instead of activism and bloat. This is a battle that Democrats are going to fight, primarily because they understand that the DOE is a critical component of their campaign to indoctrinate children, while also benefiting the teachers' unions that they depend on for political support.
But if conservatives manage to win this fight, and right now they have the momentum, Donald Trump will once again have achieved the goal that Republicans campaigned on for decades without success. He did it with Roe v.
Wade, which a lot of conservatives had given up on. And now he's doing it again with the Department of Education.
He's promising to restore this country to the status quo that existed before the DOE was established in 1979, the status quo that produced men who invented the airplane and ultimately landed on the moon. And in that era, we didn't have endless trans rights investigations or universities with bloated endowments from taxpayer-funded student loans.
But we did have a functioning education system. And very soon, with the dismantling of the Department of Education, we might have one again.
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Okay, the former comedian Bill Burr

has been on a media tour recently.

I assume promoting something, I don't know what,

maybe as a standup special or something,

I don't really care.

On every stop along the tour,

he regurgitates left-wing talking points

and cries about Elon Musk and Republicans.

It continues to be very sad to watch this man, who used to be a funny and edgy comedian, become now a bald, more feminine version of Rachel Maddow, essentially. And now Bilber's transition is, you know, this kind of spiritual gender transition that he's embarked on seems to be complete.
It has reached its final stage with an appearance on The View. Let's see some of this.
It's a weird time, but I just feel like someone needs to bring the boiling water down to a simmer

and everybody on both sides.

Like if you watch CNN, Fox, you go online or you listen to politicians, it's all, ah.

And then you walk out on the street and someone's like, hey, how you doing?

You're like, good.

So I don't think they're living in like a reality.

But is there any particular anybody getting your eye

up these days more than usual nerds yeah the nerds that own the politician all these tech nerds that want to build robots because they don't know how to talk to hot women yeah they're gonna take over the world they're gonna take over they are literally gonna replace us they were like beta right now and they're coming out with like the bcr and i think elon has got the rockets going because they realize there's other earths out there yeah and they're gonna they're gonna trash this one and because they don't have any concern for it and they're gonna move on to the next earth and uh you know everybody's me standing down here with your blue and red ties going wait a minute i was on your side your side. And they're just going to leave.
Well, you're talking about death and you're sad. Do they not realize that they're going to die, these people? They don't realize that eventually everybody dies.
Well, I always wondered that about all religions. Well, they always talk about a wrathful God.
That's right. Now, I'm not going to bother addressing the substance of Bill's point there to the extent that it has any substance at all, Bill is just boiling with rage and envy.

That much is very clear.

The amount of envy that these leftists have towards Elon Musk is incredibly obvious.

And so obvious that it's really embarrassing.

I am actually embarrassed for them because it's so transparent.

But that's not even the point.

The point to me is this. And I've talked before about Bill Burr's tragic decline, but this is beyond tragic.
I mean, think about this. And if you were a Bill Burr fan in the past, or at least if you were aware of his work and what his brand and style used to be, imagine if 10 years ago, somebody told you that Bill Burr would appear on The View and not spend the whole time roasting them to their faces and trolling them, but instead sit there politely and agree with them the entire time.
Imagine if somebody told you that 10 years ago.

10 years ago, if someone said, oh, Bill Burr's going to be on The View, you would say, oh, this is going to be great. Can't wait to see what he does there.
And if they tell you, no, he's going to sit and he's just going to agree with them. They're going to have a polite, nice conversation where they agree on everything.
Bill Burr, the guy who made his bones as an edgy anti-feminist comedian, was invited on The View and did not make a single joke at their expense. Didn't roast them, didn't troll them, didn't make fun of them, didn't say anything funny, just sat with these clucking hens and clucked along with them.
I mean, my God, it's horrific. And for comparison's sake, let's go back about 25 years to find out what happens when a real comedian, an actual comedian, an actual funny person, somehow manages to get invited on The View.
And this is really an excuse to play a Norm Macdonald clip, but I'll take any excuse I can find. But just by comparison's sake, here's what Norm Macdonald did when he was invited on the video.
I think it was like 25 years ago.

Let's watch that.

I think we should get the homicide

out of the White House

and get like a fresh start

because we don't want any more murderers.

I think we should just go on

to the next question.

Who are the murderers?

Oh, Clinton, he murdered a guy.

Yeah, you know,

we're not allowed to put out

no accusations without...

That's a little too far.

That's the way it does work. Let's just go on to the next question.
This is not my week. What can I tell you? Oh, it's not mine either.
I'm being very nice, okay? Be a good boy. Now, Norm.
Do you never hear that? No. Listen, we don't need to talk about that.
I don't want to get into this, and I don't want to hear it, and this is not the place to make those accusations.

And you're supposed to be funny.

Let's get on with that question.

So get with it.

There you go.

This is a live show.

Why?

But you have been properly chastised by Barbara.

So I'm now going to ask the next question.

I thought it was a matter of record.

Shut up.

Shut up.

Look, let me do this, okay?

I'll tell you what's a matter of record. You will not be invited back if you don't shut up.
All right, now. Norm Macdonald, rest in peace.
That's a real comedian. He had a chance to go on The View, and he did what is your God-given duty as a comedian by hilariously trolling them, making them very uncomfortable.
He made the situation extremely awkward in a very funny way. And that's what you do.
What Bill Burr did, on the other hand, I mean, it's the comedy equivalent of treason. He committed treason against comedy.
It is treason. It is treasonous as a comedian to get invited on The View and to not have a single funny moment where you're trolling them.
It really is. Because Bill Burr is a sad, pathetic, broken shell of a man.
And people have different theories about what happened to him. How did he go from being actually funny to becoming the kind of guy who gets along with the harpies on The View? How did that happen? What the hell happened to this guy? A lot of people point out the fact that Bill married a left-wing feminist some years ago, and that's where his decline began.
And I'm sure that has something to do with it. But I think that explanation kind of puts the cart before the horse, really, because, well, why did he marry a left-wing feminist to begin with? So obviously, there was something going.
The decline had started before that. And really it started when Bill Burr began to achieve mainstream success and recognition in Hollywood.
Started appearing in Hollywood shows and films. Made a lot of friends with Hollywood A-listers.
And that's where it starts. That's where it always starts with these people.
you know there's this there's this uh like Howard Stern. I was never a big Howard Stern fan, but we all know that he is just a pathetic husk of what he used to be.
And same deal. He became, he just went Hollywood.
I mean, he just has a lot of Hollywood. You know, there's this cliche you hear all the time where people say, somebody says, oh, so-and-so won't speak the truth because he wants to get invited to the cocktail parties.
You always hear about these cocktail parties, and it's kind of cliched, but there's a lot of truth to it. It may not be cocktail parties specifically.
I don't know how many cocktail parties Bill Burr actually attends, but the

cocktail party really just means social acceptance by the elites. And it's true that once you find

social acceptance among the elites, it has the effect of kind of emptying you out,

of stripping you of all the things that those elites might find disagreeable.

It compromises you. It dulls you.
It turns you into,

well, it turns you into Bill Burr. All right.
We talked a lot about the attacks on Tesla,

but it keeps getting worse. And what we're finding is that more and more, it's not just

the cars that are being targeted, but the people driving them.

And that keeps escalating. And here's the latest, listen to this.
I was thankfully by myself. Lee was on the way to a doctor's appointment in Linwood Wednesday morning, when she says all of a sudden, a driver behind her just laid on the horn as they came up to a red light.
Things spiraled out of control when a white SUV followed her and cut her off, stopping in the middle of the road. Gets out and walks straight up to my door, window.
So I cracked my window and I said, what is the problem? And he goes, you need to sell your car. This is a Nazi car, you're driving it, you need to sell your car.
You know, we are, I mean, first of all, not to victim blame here at all, but if somebody stops in the middle of the road and approaches your car wearing a mask, don't roll the window down and ask them what they want. Drive away.
Just get in your car and keep driving. Don't just so just so you know.
And if there's any Tesla drivers out there as this thing escalates, you should probably know that. You know, when someone who appears to have hostile intentions is approaching your car, don't don't try to have a conversation with them or, you know, explain yourself.
Just get out of there if you can. So we are and we all know this rapidly approaching the point where somebody will be killed for driving a Tesla.

You know, that's the intent.

Make no mistake about it.

All of the leftists, the media, Jimmy Kimmel, The Daily Show, all these people cheering on the campaign of violence against Tesla owners,

they all know that this will end with somebody getting killed.

You know, not end, actually, because it doesn't end there, but it will lead to, and then it will continue from there. But the next step is that somebody gets killed.
They all know that. They're fully aware, and they want it to happen.
And listen, I know that sometimes I might make use of the rhetorical device known as hyperbole. I do that intentionally, usually for comedic effect, but this is not one of those times.
The left actually wants Tesla drivers to be killed. They really do.
They think that you deserve to die if you drive a Tesla. At the very least, they think that the killing of Tesla drivers is a morally justifiable way to achieve whatever political or social or cultural end they think they're achieving.
So remember when I said, when they were cheering on the murder of that health insurance CEO, and I was not on board with cheering on the murder, and I was ripped to shreds in the comments for not getting on board with the celebration of first degree homicide. And even many self-identified conservatives who said they usually agree with me on most things, many of them were actually angry at me, angry because I wasn't on board with hunting down CEOs that we don't like and executing them in the street.
And I said at the time, well, I mean, first of all, shooting a man in the back of the head is just morally wrong. Okay.
If we cannot agree on that, if that's not morally wrong, then nothing is. Then just the, then we live, what you are supporting is moral relativism, where there is no such thing as good or evil.

Because if there's any such thing as evil, sneaking up behind a guy who has not been found guilty of any crime whatsoever and shooting him in the head, if anything is evil, that has to qualify. So it's just objectively morally evil

But also, if you're on the right

And you're on board with that

Or cheering that on

Or tolerating that

Or being understanding of it

Or whatever So it's just objectively moral evil. But also, if you're on the right and you're on board with that or cheering that on or tolerating that or being understanding of it or whatever, just know that you are being tolerant of and understanding of the violence that will eventually be visited upon you as well.
You are joining hands with the people who want you dead, just like that CEO.

And the same logic that they're using to kill the CEO, they will use against you. Okay, so for these radical leftists, they draw no distinction between that CEO and some random person driving a Tesla.
No distinction. And don't take my word for it.
Ask them. Ask them what they think about.
You take any of that guy that pulled the woman over. What do you think he would say if you had a chance to ask him? If you would ask him, well, who's more evil, the CEO of that health insurance company or someone driving a Tesla? He would say, oh, they're about the same.
They're basically the same. You're just as evil as that guy if you drive a Tesla.
That's the way they see it. And the precedent they set with the murder of the CEO was not, it's okay to kill CEOs.
That was not the precedent. And even that would be bad enough.
Because again, I mean, call me, I didn't think it was a controversial position. Apparently it was.
I don't know. I actually don't agree with that.
I don't think that you can just kill someone because they're the CEO of a company you don't like, right? But that was not really the precedent. The larger precedent was it's okay for us, being the left, to kill anyone that we find morally objectionable.
That was the precedent. So if you were applauding that, that's what you were applauding.
It might not have been, you might not have seen it that way, but that's what you were doing. That's the team that you were joining there.
All right, some entertainment news. Snow White releases today.
It's currently sitting at 46% on Rotten Tomatoes. That's the critics' score.
So this thing has to be really, really bad. I mean, the critics were looking for any way, any excuse to give it a high score.
They know that conservatives don't like Rachel Zegler. They know that Zegler is a good little feminist.
This Snow White version is woke and feminist and progressive. So mainstream film critics want to like a movie like this.
It checks all the narrative boxes. It checks all the political boxes.
And yet they're still panning it. Even they couldn't find a way to pretend that this piece of trash is anything but a piece of trash.
And just to show you how trashy this is, here's a clip of Rachel Zegler performing a song from the film, apparently. The account End Wokeness on X posted this along with the caption, Disney deleted Someday My Prince Will Come and made a modernized feminist alternative.
So this apparently is the song which is in the movie, but here she is, I guess, performing it in some promotional event, performing an acoustic version of this new song, this new feminist reimagining. And here it is.
They say all you have to do to make your wish come true He let it echo echo echo echo your voice will carry through and bring that dream to you just like an echo echo echo well i can hear the echo loud and clear But I'm still waiting here So that's one of the new Snow White songs, apparently. It's awful, generic.
The most generic, reheated pop music slop imaginable. Never mind that the lyrics make no sense at all.
All you have to do to make your dream come true is let it echo. What does that even, I mean, even on a, I know it's a metaphorical, on a metaphorical level, what does that mean? What is that supposed to mean? In what metaphorical sense does a dream come true by echoing? Okay.
The metaphorical imagery doesn't work because shouting your dreams into the void and listening to the hollow echo as it reverberates into the ether, that's a good metaphor for what you shouldn't do if you want your dreams to come true. So a truly bad song with some bad life advice on top of it.
And I have to say, I was thinking about this, that I'm a big critic of AI in art. I think, as you know, I've talked about it.
I think that there are a lot of legitimate uses of AI. I think AI is an impressive technology, but it needs to stay far away from art.
AI art is death. AI art is an atrocity.
I hate the very idea of it, but then I hear that and I think, well, that might as well have been written and performed by AI. That is essentially an AI Disney princess song, except allegedly written by humans.
So we're already there. I mean, AI took over a while ago.
it's not just the song but the film itself all of these you know

live action

Disney humans. So we're already there.
I mean, AI took over a while ago. It's not just the song, but the film itself.
All of these live action Disney remakes might as well be AI generated. They're already algorithmically generated.
These films are created by people in corporate offices sitting around tables looking at algorithms and buzzwords and trends and so on. And then the film is created not as an act of artistic inspiration and creation, but rather they are assembled on a kind of corporate Hollywood assembly line in order to check all the various, not just the political boxes and all that, but also just to check the storytelling boxes that you need to.
So AI has already taken over, in effect. I mean, we're already there.
This Snow White film, which I haven't seen and, of course, I'm not going to see, but by all accounts, you could have just made it with AI, and it would be the same quality, which is a poor quality. But more importantly, it's not just quality.
It would have the same level of human inspiration behind it, which is none. I think that's the point.
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Now let's get to our daily cancellation. We have a very simple daily cancellation today.
This will not be the soaring, inspiring speech that yesterday's cancellation was at least hoping to be. Today we have to deal with something not quite as important, but still worth complaining about for five or six minutes.
I will let Yahoo Finance report the news. Here it is.
Buy now, pay later from Klarna. This one is landing and partnering up with DoorDash.
In the coming months, customers will be able to use Klarna services to purchase groceries, retail, and a DashPass annual plan. And customers will have the option to pay for their purchases in full in four equal installments or defer payments to a more convenient time here.
Shares right now of DoorDash up by one and a half percent. We know that a lot of consumers, they've been pretty squeezed when you go to the grocery store.
So the fact that we're seeing this buy now, pay later partnership for DoorDash, I think could be a positive. Hence the share uptick that we're seeing today.
Yes, you heard that right. DoorDash will be introducing a buy now, pay later option to their service.
So you'll be able to finance your hamburger. If you don't have the money to pay for your Chipotle burrito bowl right away, no worries.
You can lock into a 15-year fixed burrito mortgage with a competitive interest rate of only 9.7%. If you need to free up more cash down the road to pay for a Dunkin' Donuts order or something, you can always refinance.
And with any luck, in a few years, you'll only have $20,000 or $30,000 in fast food delivery debt you got to deal with. So this is a sound financial strategy.
Yes, take on more debt for the sake of having a stranger with questionable hygiene drive your Wingstop chicken tenders to your door instead of just driving there to pick them up yourself, or better yet, making a meal at home. Axios has some more information about this exciting financial opportunity.
They report, quote, Klarna will provide multiple payment options in DoorDash, including pay immediately, pay in four, which allows customers to pay in four equal interest rates, interest-free installments, pay later, which also allows them to defer payments until what Klarna calls a more convenient time. DoorDash rival Grubhub was already offering Klarna payment services, but DoorDash is the market leader in restaurant delivery services, commanding nearly 60% of the market, according to Earnest Analytics making its move into BNPL a seismic moment for the payment option.
In addition to food, DoorDash also offers delivery from a wide variety of other retailers, quote, by offering smarter, more flexible payment solutions for groceries, takeout, and retail essentials, or making convenience even more accessible for millions of Americans. That's according to the chief commercial officer of Klarna.
So yeah, smarter. Smarter payment solutions.
Silly me, I thought the smartest payment solution for a Wendy's double baconator and fries is to go through the drive-thru and just pay the eight bucks for it. Or don't buy it in the first place because you'd be better off eating roadkill.
The rotting flesh of a dead raccoon that's been sitting on the side of the highway for four and a half days would be healthier, probably taste better, and best of all, it's free. But the chief commercial officer of Klarna disagrees.
He points out that, you know, sometimes the smartest strategy is to take on actual debt, make yourself actively poorer for the sake of a greasy, soggy, room temperature hamburger. Dave Ramsey is rolling in his grave.
Dave Ramsey isn't even dead, but he's rolling in his grave. He heard about fast food delivery financing and then went and buried himself alive.
He just couldn't take it anymore. He's given up on the world and all of us.
But remember, this is smart. It's a smart payment solution.
Even before this exciting debt opportunity, DoorDash already gave you the chance to take a $13 lunch from Panda Express and turn it into a $65 dining experience. And now when you add in interest payments over the lifetime of the Panda Express loan, maybe you'll be able to take $13 worth of Panda Express orange chicken and turn it into a negative $100 or negative $1,000.
The possibilities are endless. Now, of course, in theory, everyone recognizes that this is insane.
Everybody on social media is having a lot of fun mocking the concept of DoorDash payment

plans. But we all know that most of those people will end up actually using the payment plans.
The siren song of the deferred payment for that sushi order will be too much for most American consumers to resist. After all, deferred payment means that I don't have to pay right now, which means that it's basically free.

As much, currently, it's free then. As far as the current version of me is concerned, it's free.
Future me, it won't be free for him, but for current me, it is. This is exactly the attitude that's allowed us as a country to rack up $1.2 trillion in collective credit card debt.
Yes, that's trillion with a T. But really, the DoorDash business model, again, even without this payment plan stuff, should not be sustainable in the first place.
Forget about the madness of payment plans for fast food. Even without that, DoorDash and Uber Eats should not be able to stay in business.
It is an indictment on all of us that these services

exist in the first place. Only in a society plagued by an epidemic of extreme laziness and extreme financial illiteracy could these companies exist.
And I say that as somebody who uses Uber Eats like probably once a week. So I am including myself in this indictment.
I am part of the problem. We are allowing ourselves to be scammed in outrageous, gratuitous ways.
So just to be more specific, I went on the app this morning to look at the breakdown of additional fees. And so just for example, I just pulled up an example.
An Asiago sausage and egg sandwich from Panera Bread is $8.29, which is already too much. Panera Bread is already way overpriced and it's garbage.
But that same sandwich on Uber Eats is $18.61. And that's before tip.
With the suggested tip, it goes up to $23.61. That's a tip that, of course, you're paying before the item is even delivered to you.
You're rewarding the driver for good service before the service is performed. So that when the service is inevitably terrible, as it almost always is, and he delivers your food 45 minutes later than the estimated delivery time, and it's cold by the time you get it,

and he appears to have taken a bite out of the sandwich,

he still gets the tip.

So that's how you end up paying $23 for an $8 breakfast sandwich.

$23 for a breakfast sandwich.

How does it get that expensive?

Well, because along with the tip,

you're required to pay a delivery fee and a service fee and tax. And as we know, the delivery fee and service fee are two different things.
You might think that they must be the same thing. After all, the service is delivery, but no, they're two different fees.
And if you want there to be any chance that your breakfast might be delivered sometime before dinner, you need to opt for additional priority delivery. So that's an additional fee.
So that's three additional fees plus tip. And then you might think, well, shouldn't my delivery be a priority anyway? Why do I have to pay extra to make my delivery a priority? Shouldn't that just be basic customer service? Isn't that like an airline charging extra if you want a crash-free flight? You can have a regular flight, or you can pay a 12% fee for a priority flight experience where the pilot prioritizes keeping the plane in the sky.
But that's the way it works. Because we're getting totally scammed and ripped off by these companies.
And now they want to rip us off even more. We shouldn't tolerate it.'t go along with it But we will Because there's no price we won't pay For the sake of convenience DoorDash could offer a new service Where for a $20 additional charge The driver will cut your food up for you And feed you like a baby So you don't have to move your arms or make the slightest effort at all.
And many customers

would pay it. They'd even pay another $5 fee for the baby bird experience where the driver chews the food for you and regurgitates it so you don't have to deal with the effort of moving your jaw.
There is no cost we won't pay for the sake of convenience. That much is clear.
So this business model of taking stuff, taking food that's already kind of overpriced and making it so much more expensive and making it so that it takes longer to get to you than it would otherwise if you just got it yourself, that shouldn't work. It should not be a sustainable business model,

but it is sustainable. Payment plans for lunch should not exist, but they do.

Nobody should ever take out a loan for fast food, but they will. That's the reality.

And that is why DoorDash and Uber Eats and their payment plans and all of their customers,

including myself, are all today canceled.

That'll do it for the show today

and this week.

Have a great weekend.

Talk to you on Monday.

Godspeed.