Michael Knowles Vs. Mary Morgan: Test Your Pop Culture IQ | FACE-OFF

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It's A.

It's Africa.

It is.

It is not A, and you are getting completely destroyed.

It is C, your hands, your team, your vibe.

Fate of Ophelia Lyrics.

Is Sabrina Carpenter secretly pushing trad values through her practically nude music videos?

Are Laboobus actually pocket demons?

I don't know.

I'm just a regular suburban dad who thought ice spice was a winter candle.

But you know who might have the answer to these pop culture-defining mysteries?

Michael Knowles and Mary Morgan.

One of them, post-pop culture crisis, which has pop culture in the title.

The other thinks pop culture peaked when Bach dropped his six conciertos.

Here's how it works.

Conciertos?

Conciertos?

Conciertos.

Is he a Mexican?

Oh man, this is off to a bad start.

Sorry, keep going, Mr.

Davies.

Here's how it works, right?

Well, I'll read a question.

Each host has 30 seconds to scribble down their answers.

The loser, well, they'll have to deliver a glowing 30-second ad for the winner and publicly declare them the real Delulu, Giga Chad, Sigma Rizzler, main character, Maven of pop culture.

This is face-off pop culture.

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen.

Well, it's great to be here, Mr.

Davies.

Thank you for having me on my own show.

My answer for who our guest will be today is Mary Morgan.

Oh, I hate that.

Is that what you mean?

I hate that.

That's good.

What are you talking about?

That looks horrible.

That's very pretty.

What are you talking about?

It reaches that immediately.

What?

Hold on.

I don't, that's nice.

Mr.

Davies, is that?

That is going to be the most, that's going to be the most value NFT of 2025.

Most of these questions will focus on 2025 pop culture, but maybe there'll be some curveballs.

We'll see.

Are you all ready for the first question?

I'm ready.

All right.

I think so.

One.

What is is the price of the most expensive laboo boo doll ever sold?

This is closest without going over.

Closest without going over.

Of the laboo boo doll, which are, they're like Lululemons, I hear.

I can't spoil it.

I'm going to say

five seconds.

All right, Knowles, be a gentleman.

What do you got?

1.5 million?

I said $1,400.

Well, one of them was made of gold.

They They made a gold rule.

No, they did not make a gold delivery.

I also, I erased the dollar sign because it depends on the currency how much this means it's worth.

Hold on,

you can't pick any currency.

You can't simultaneously answer you on rupees and

pick a currency.

Pick a currency.

Well, this is not going very well because neither one of you were close at all.

The correct answer is $170,000.

Let's go, babe.

Because close without going over.

Yeah, it's close to the bottom.

So if you let Mary Morgan get away with Yen, then she actually would go rubles or something, and then she would win.

Wow.

Oh, let's go.

How much was it?

$170,000.

It was a life-size laboo boo.

It's life-size.

Did they make one out of it?

Life-size?

What does that mean?

They're not alive.

Life-size.

Like, depending on how tall you are, it's kind of like rupees.

But is it like Mary Morgan life size or is it like, you know, David Cohn life size?

It's a great question.

Those are very different lives.

You know, another great question.

Yes.

Okay.

The next one.

All right.

Sabrina Carpenter's new album, Man's Best friend was released in august of 2025 with the album cover going viral leaving everyone and basically every man thinking the same thing how tall is sabrina carpenter post without going over how tall is sabrina yeah

i know this one it's in her song whoa it's not looking good michael she sang it it's in her lyrics

I wonder if she lied or if the internet lied.

We'll see.

All right, what do you have?

I'm going to get it wrong.

Oh, ladies first.

Okay.

All right.

This is the lyric.

Five feet to be exact.

Michael.

She leaves quite the impression.

Oh, I leave quite an impression.

Five feet to be exact.

So I almost put five feet to be exact, but it's closest without going over.

And I did 4'11.

It is five feet exactly.

Hey.

that was against my better.

But in those huge like platform heels that she wears, she's like maybe your height, Michael.

Yeah, she might be.

Is she petite in her videos?

I've never really noticed her relative to other men.

It's really hard to tell.

Like the music.

Yeah, like I see her.

I've watched two of her videos now, I think at least.

And she doesn't, five feet is very short.

She doesn't seem that short.

Maybe the guys are all little alpacinos.

I don't know.

It's the perspective thing.

They probably have her standing on

a milk crate or something.

That's show business.

And Michael, when he analyzes her music videos, he's always thinking about the height.

Always, all the time.

How tall are you, Mary Morgan?

I'm 5'1 ⁇ ,

to be exact.

Towering around.

5'1 flat.

Why didn't I get it?

I kind of mog her.

You mog her.

You mog her.

You mew her.

All right, number three.

As we know, 2024 was the Hoctua summer.

Which viral phrase dominated 2025?

Is it A, Bones Day?

No Bones Day.

It's giving.

Brain Rot Summer, Muse Summer.

Maybe.

Muse as in the Muses or Mew as in the word I just said.

Muses.

As in the Muses.

Muse?

No.

None of these are the correct answer.

Literally none of these are the correct answer.

I have my answer.

Mary Morgan, you got to get on the TikTok and figure out what all the kids are twitching about.

You know?

There was no summer anything this summer.

There's no anything summer.

My good friend Google.

I don't know where any of this comes from.

Yeah.

Maybe you didn't, Mary Morgan.

Maybe you didn't get invited.

Maybe only Mr.

Ida certainly didn't get invited.

Maybe it was only Mr.

David.

I've heard that, like, I'm officially unknown now because I was alive during 9-11.

That makes you unknown.

It's not if you remember 9-11 now.

It's just if you were alive during 9-11.

I was like 28 during 9-11.

No, I was 11, actually.

I was 11.

Really, I was.

Same.

All right, what do you have?

I just put brain rot summer because I don't know what other term it could have been.

And I put 6-7 as a footnote.

What did Michael write in cursive?

What did that?

I wrote it's giving.

It's giving.

Wow.

That ages you, Michael, just like you're cursive.

It's actually actually brain rot summer, which is why Jacob's having the best summer of his life.

What is the 6'7?

That's not real.

Well,

don't get into the 6'7 because we may.

We may get into that later.

No, I'm keeping that in my mind.

Let's go.

Yeah, yeah.

All right.

There was no brain rot summer, though.

Have you been around?

There was no brain rot summer.

All right.

Next up, the new Grand Theft Auto, number six, takes place in a fictional U.S.

state.

Which real state is it based on?

And I mean maybe they'll come out this year.

Who knows?

Probably not.

Michael may actually play this one.

This one is easy, right?

You're going to draw it too?

He's going to quickly erase it.

What's going on there?

I feel like I can see it, so I'm cheating by looking at your board.

Can you see what I'm writing?

Vaguely, yeah.

But there's like more

there's more flourish than that yeah I wasn't really creative with my body oh yeah

I said California well and that's that's Gavin Newsom

that's your genuine answer yeah

oh oh no no it's Florida it's Vice City no I was thinking of San Andres oh

oh it was obvious Michael, my future's tied to you.

The fact that you missed that is just so

I knew, I knew it was a reboot of one of the two and it was the only one that i ever played was vice city but i just confused it because san andres was the la one wow we reviewed the trailer on your show oh i had we talked about it i had so much tylenol this morning i'm sorry i just overdosed my tylenol

that's what do you think of my gavin newsome i'm not even a gamer and i knew yeah i'm really into drawing your gavin newsom is it okay i don't know he's a little bit more vivacious than the real gavin newsom than that just american psycho cadaver.

Yeah, okay.

Yeah.

All right.

All right.

All right.

Next up: how many major tabloid-level relationships has Taylor Swift been in since entering public life in 2008?

This is closest without going over.

So these are like, this is not like high school mystery boyfriends or whatever.

This is like official celebrity, you know, like track relationships.

Could have had a song written about it.

Right.

Since 2008.

Closest without going over.

I think I know.

It's because she's a witch.

Do I have to not go over to win?

Right.

You have to not go over.

But you can get it exactly, like you're five foot.

That one's going to be.

This is risky.

Okay.

I'm nervous.

I got to get my board off camera.

Why?

We got to frame this better next time.

She's seeing my numbers.

Well, it's like blurry.

It's fine.

It's 18.

Oh.

It's 18.

I think you went way over.

No, it's 18.

I put 13.

No.

All right.

Y'all both collectively lose because it was 12.

Damn it.

I knew it was 12.

I thought if I said it, confidently.

She's a witch.

I think that her 13 obsession, like she's obsessed with the number 13, it has to be the 13th guy that she marries.

So maybe, maybe that means she'll break up with Travis.

I don't know.

I thought that

was a witch.

I thought I could force the reality to bend to my will by confidently saying 18, but I am not a witch.

Like that lady in Delaware.

I'm not a witch.

All right.

What's the score currently?

This is bad.

Ask in control room.

3-1 married.

Ah, all right.

This is when the comeback starts, right?

This is great.

I feel good about this because I learned on yes or no that I'm not competitive enough and I'm really bad at following rules.

Oh, Michael, this is your shot.

Hit that bot question.

Let's go, baby.

Here we go.

Which social content format rose the most in popularity in 2025?

Was it long form live streams, 30-second TikTok duets, vertical shorts under 15 seconds, full-screen VR videos?

Which of those four?

Which was the most popular?

Which rose the most in popularity.

So it's, it's like about, it's acceleration, not velocity, right?

It's about the growth.

Where's the energy at?

You got to be a hop

culture maven like me to know, but it's obvious.

It's obvious.

You ready?

All right.

Who do you got?

I did long-form live streams.

Not even close.

15 seconds.

The correct answer, which is.

Which is bad for both of our shows.

It's the vertical shorts under 15 seconds.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You're right, though.

It is bad for the shows.

But at least I get get a point.

I was too optimistic.

Wow, that's good stuff, huh?

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All right, next up, which film became the most viewed Netflix movie ever?

And this is before Elon Musk completely nuked the platform.

Well, I don't know about nuking the platform, but

which film became the most viewed Netflix movie ever?

Ever.

I have a pretty.

There's been some good ones.

There was like Bird Box and a few others like that, but this crushed it.

I don't.

I watch like one television show a year, possibly two.

The biggest Netflix movie ever.

Okay, I think I have it.

I think.

Okay, I've got it.

That was a long title.

Listen, it's the biggest movie ever.

All right, what do you have?

Mary Morgan.

Knives

Hmm.

I said

Tyler Perry presents Big Medea's House 7.

The correct answer is K-pop demon hunters.

Ah, shoot.

I knew that.

I hate that.

It got 541 million views in 28 days, which is wild.

That was for 2025.

I was just thinking like the most popular of all time.

This still, this is the most popular of all time, though.

Because also, Tyler Perry's Big Medea's came out in 2022.

So I also, I guess, was thinking about it that way.

Brutal.

That's frustrating.

That's crazy.

I also, I need to point out, I think Mary Morgan is very delayed here, and I think that's giving her a big advantage.

I think her stream is delayed, and it's giving her an advantage.

I'm watching you put up your answer while I'm still writing mine.

It's outrageous.

It's outrageous.

Cats out of the bag here.

Speaking of views, how many Taylor Swift music videos currently have over 1 billion views on YouTube?

Closest without going over.

Just for reference, you know, the true pop star, Sabrina Carpenter doesn't have a single one over a billion yet, but your girl Taylor's got a couple.

She has a couple.

I don't even know how many, I don't know how many music videos Taylor Swift has.

He just gave us the answer.

He said, she has a couple.

A couple is two.

So did you, you just said it's two.

Closest without going over, Michaels.

All right.

Shoot your shot.

All right.

It's like, is he lying?

Is he a reliable narrator?

Is he a reliable moderator?

Yeah.

I think he's trying.

He's trying to lead us away from it.

Because he's going to be like, it's going to be like 10.

And he's going to be like, no, like a couple just means more than one or whatever.

I was like, not what it means.

It means two.

But I don't know, maybe.

Or is it like a double, triple reverse Uno card?

I'm just trying to keep it competitive with this delay.

I got to throw Mary Morgan off the scent with this delay.

I know the delay.

That's real.

That's messing me up too.

She might have, with the delay, she might have traveled into the future, looked it up on YouTube, come back, and then written down the number.

I'm thinking about it now and I'm thinking Bad Blood for sure has a billion views.

Blank Space for sure has at least a billion views.

Maybe Look What You Made Me Do.

I think that would have a billion views.

Yeah, Dancing in the Moonlight probably has like a trillion views.

Her best one hasn't quite cracked a million.

It's at 950 million.

Tootie Fruity has

a quadrillion views.

I don't really know any Taylor Swift songs.

I've heard of Bad Blood.

Okay, I say two.

I stick by two.

Two.

I said four.

I don't know why.

I'm not confident in it, but the correct answer is five.

Mary Morgan pulls ahead more.

Uh-huh.

Yay.

She actually has a lot of five.

It feels good to be good at something.

There's two over 3.5 billion, which is the

blank space and shake it off.

You said she had a thruple.

Otherwise,

you lied.

I couldn't just be like, oh, she has one.

I'd be like, you know, a couple, a few, like, whatever.

A couple and a few are different.

You said a couple.

Fuse three, a couple.

Yeah.

I know.

I wouldn't say a thruple.

How many of the views are bots?

Like a lot of the YouTube views are bots anyway.

Great question.

You know what else is a great question?

Number nine.

Someone needs to turn the air on because it's heating up and it's about to get serious.

Because I can tell that Mary Morgan wants to choke Michael out with his new Mayflower silk ties available now.

And I know what Michael's feeling.

Michael's feeling a little 6'7, if you know what I mean.

What did I just mean?

Feeling a little 6'7.

Yeah.

I was kind of hoping hoping 6'7 would be the answer to one later on, and I could just use my if Michael's thinking 6'7, like what is he what is he thinking?

Like how he goes in the ad read.

Things are heating up.

Mary Morgan's beating me by like 100 points.

It's heating up though.

But you can pull ahead here.

Can I?

I don't know.

It's 6'7.

It's 6'7.

You want to know what it means when someone goes like this?

I need you to write down

6'7.

Like, give me, what does that mean for this 2025 term?

Well, I know where it comes from.

Do you know the basketball player?

It's a basketball thing?

Hold on.

Now I got to change my answer.

Wait.

It's a couple things.

Yeah.

I forget the name of the basketball player, but I know the name of where it comes from.

Do you know what 420 means?

Apparently it means marijuana.

I think by the end of this, I'm going to be the pop culture maven.

I'm just going to win the award.

420 is also Hitler's birthday.

Did you know that?

I'm just trying to

prove I know something about pop culture.

I have an okay

answer.

It's like part of the answer.

You know what's even better than okay?

Michael Knowles' Mayflower Silk Cigar is available on dwshop.com.

Silk cigars, he says.

He's selling my silk cigar.

This is a

complete Shonda.

All right, what do you have?

I say it means moderately acceptable.

Like, it's not like it's, you know, on a scale of one to 10.

It's like 6'7.

The Skrilla.

I think this is the name of the rapper that made the song that was used to

like over the videos of the basketball player that you mentioned, Ben.

That is correct.

And that is kind of the origin of the term, but that's not what the term means.

What's it mean?

Does it mean moderately acceptable?

I think I know what it means now.

It means nothing.

It's just like Dada.

It's like nothing.

It's ah,

six, seven.

I love Dada.

I get a kick at the end of the point.

Yeah, Skrilla.

Skrilla, like Skillet.

I know Skillet.

They're a Christian band.

I've never listened to Skrilla.

I've listened to Skrillex.

Is he allowed to say

that they're doing?

But like, we have to say Skrille.

That might be offensive to many.

I'm asking.

I don't know.

All right.

Next question.

No more of the S-word.

Yeah, before we get knocked off YouTube.

What does Taylor Swift pledge allegiance to in her new song, The Fate of Ophelia?

And for Michael, if you don't know, Ophelia is a popular character at a very popular play.

Oh, thanks for informing me.

Yeah, yeah.

He doesn't know that.

No.

Can we give multiple answers?

Yeah, I want to give you A, B, C, and D.

So the first option is: she pledges allegiance to the land, the sea, and the sky.

B, your pants, your feels, my guy.

C, your hands, your team, your vibe.

D, the American flag.

This is what Ophelia pledges allegiance to?

This is what Taylor pledges allegiance to in her song, The Fate of Ophelia.

I watched your reaction to the music video.

You should know this.

I should, I know, but I.

I forgot.

It's been like two days since I saw

the song.

I'm honored.

Is it the land, the sea, and the sky?

Your pants, your feels, my guy, your hands, your team, your vibe, or the American flag?

It should be the American flag is what it should be.

It's not.

She hates.

It's definitely, can I move the purr to a different answer?

You can.

Thank you.

I will allow it.

The American flag.

I can't get the trill, man.

Thanks.

I hate it.

You got to be

all of the Mediterranean for that, you know.

I was trying to give Michael hints with that because he does it on all the shows now just to make people uncomfortable.

All right.

This is getting weird, man.

It's getting weird.

Weird Emphasis.

I think it's the delay.

What do you have?

I put C because I know my Taylor Swift.

It's A.

It's not.

It's a.

It is not A, and you are getting completely destroyed.

It is C.

Your hands, your team, your vibes.

Travis Kelsey, your team, your vibe, your hands.

Hold on.

Hold on.

I'm pulling up the lyrics.

What's that song called?

Ophelia?

I'm not even a Swifty.

Like, I'm kind of a hater but i'm a studied hater fate of ophelia lyrics the play is called hamlet and the guy who shakes the

fate of ophelia lyrics it just came out keep it 100 on the land the sea the sky pledge allegiance to

your hands your team your vibes

i was so confident she is a swifty that's so cringy why do the chiefs get a shout out on the song what do they have to do with anything Is that a Chiefs thing?

She's talking about his team.

Yeah, Travis Kelsey plays the Chiefs.

Oh, man.

Yeah.

They have a losing record since you released the song, though.

Coincidence?

They didn't ask to be involved in this.

No.

All right, number 11.

Which actress is rumored to be shifting towards maximalist glam in 2025?

Is it A, Zendaya?

B, Florence Pugh.

C, Sabrina Carpenter.

D, Emma Stone.

Is Sabrina Carpenter an actress?

Yes, she started out as an actress on Disney.

Interesting.

Name that show.

For a bonus point?

Hannah Montana.

I could do it.

It's Girl Means World, right?

It's not Anna Montana.

It's not Hannah Montana.

Bluey.

Was it Bluey?

Who was the first one you said?

Zendaya?

Florence Pugh?

No, that's Zendaya.

That's how it's pronounced.

Zendaya?

Florence Pugh, Sabrina Carpenter.

Maximalist Blam.

Y'all are both really into fashion, so I figured this would be a real nail biter here.

Yeah, going, it's not going to be Hermione.

She's like gone very feminist, right?

So it's going to be,

I don't know.

She wasn't on the list.

Maximalist Blam.

I don't know what that is.

Hermione's on the list, right?

Didn't you say Emma Watson?

Yeah.

No, you said Emma Stone, right?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Emma Stone.

Oh, Emma Stone.

Yeah.

Oh, well, Emma Stone.

I don't know.

I'm.

hmm.

Hmm.

Is that a smiley face?

This has been the most educational piece of content that Michael Knowles has produced in 2025.

Without question.

We're learning so much.

Hold on.

Is the portrait?

Sabrina Carpenter.

It's Sabrina Carpenter.

Let's go.

No.

Oh, let's go.

It's not Emma Stone.

I was

going off of Emma Stone's Vogue cover.

She was in the cover of the September issue for Vogue.

She's very pretty.

She's very beautiful, but no, she's not, she's not glam.

We need my girl Sabrina for the glam.

Yeah.

I guess not.

Yeah.

But I'm for sure.

It could have been anybody.

That could have been Zendaya or Zendaya as Mr.

Day.

It could have been me.

That could have, that could have.

I should have saved yours.

I should have had a separate board.

Speaking of women celebrities, which female celebrity has the most husbands?

A.

Drew Barrymore, B, Kim Kardashian, C, Scarlett Johansson, D, Jennifer Lopez.

Which celebrity has had the most husbands?

JLo has had a lot of engagements, but I don't remember how many of them actually culminated in a marriage.

Hmm.

We'll do closest without going over.

Are we doing a portrait again?

Wait, no, I'm just kidding.

I'm just kidding.

Closest?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Michael's pressed out.

Yeah.

Okay.

All right.

What do you have, Mary?

I put J-Lo.

I said Halley.

Because she's been engaged like seven times, right?

You put Hallie Berry on.

Hallie Berry.

It's Hallie Berry.

It's uncanny.

She had that short haircut for a while.

Remember when she was kissing the guy from the pianist?

Remember?

Yeah.

Adrian Brody.

You don't remember that?

Yeah.

Anyway, that's why I did the short here.

The correct answer is J-Lo

at four, all the rest have been married three times.

I really know my stuff.

I need to factor.

But I just thought if you've been engaged like seven times like J-Lo, at least some of them actually ended in a marriage.

I wonder how many times, yeah, she's been engaged.

Hallie Berry.

It's a lot.

Hallie Berry was married to David Justice.

I remember that.

New York Yankee.

Yeah, Eric Benet and Olivier Martinez.

But she had other partners, Gabrielle Aubrey and Van Hunt.

But they didn't get married.

Kim kind of takes the

prize for the shortest marriage, though.

Remember?

She had a

very long marriage.

Chris Humphreys, yeah.

All right.

Next question.

Bad Bunny was just announced at the Super Bowl halftime show performer.

Which of the following is one of his songs?

Is it A, Senoriti, B, Decati, C, Mamasiti, or D, Margheriti?

I'm going to say his southern sauce.

This is like, remember in the 2000s when rappers would be like, like, shizzle, virizzle, whatever.

That's what it sounds like, but the Mexican version.

Okay.

So

let's see.

One of these is real.

USA.

Yeah.

One of these is real and one of these has 1.5 million views on YouTube.

Well, I definitely can't spell the one that I'm going to put as my answer.

So

I think it's the most realistic.

Signoriti, Dakiti, Mamasiti, Margheriti.

Which one of those is real?

I got it.

What do you got?

Takate.

It's Dakate.

I don't remember which one that was, but I put B.

You're both correct.

Yeah, let's go.

Is it the same one?

Okay.

It's only the hardest to spell and pronounce.

So that was my guess.

Margariti was too.

I don't listen to Bad Bunny.

Yeah, no.

Number 14.

What percentage of adults have had at least one romantic or intimate relationship with an AI system closest without going over winds?

And we're defining adult as 18 plus.

Yes.

This is pop culture.

Okay.

It's

modern relationships, yeah.

They say they have or that they would.

Have.

These have already occurred.

Apparently.

At least one romantic or intimate relationship with an AI system.

Like they do weird porn stuff with it.

Couldn't tell you.

You couldn't tell me.

Yeah.

All right.

Yeah.

I don't know.

Closest without going over.

Remember.

The guilty fleeth when none pursueth, Mr.

Davies.

There was like 1.5 million.

Wait, are you looking for a percent or a number?

Percent.

I said percent.

Just a couple of of percent

just a couple of percent don't worry six seven you know six seven couple percent all right

i have a doomer answer it's quite high michael yeah

and this is a doomer answer for me one percent i would say one percent of american adults which is a shocking number of people

apparently i said mary morgan

because

Do you think people are closer?

I think, yeah.

Apparently, you're underestimating yourself.

I think you must be like a basket of roses because the real doomer answer is 28%.

28%.

That's fake.

No.

Multiple articles.

We were talking about this.

We were looking at it this morning.

No.

20%.

I mean, whatever.

You figure, okay, so it's guys.

How many guys watch porn?

It's got adult guys, got to be 80% or something, at least 70%.

And then if the idea is this is just like new porn, so then you're like 70% of guys, but that's still, yeah, that takes you to like 30% of the country.

Wow.

Crazy.

Yeah.

And I saw a different survey that said like something like 45%

responded that they would have a relationship with some sort of AI system.

And I'm guessing about like half of them would actually do it if the opportunity arose.

Yeah.

This is our future.

I've long thought once they think they're not going to create new humans.

Well, yeah, well, that's true.

I always thought once they figure out AI and robots, and then porn immediately affects any new technology.

So they'll basically make the

AI porn robot sex slaves.

At that point, the human race will go extinct because there'll be no more children.

Yeah, and it's interesting that Elon Musk is kvetching all the time about the birth rate decline, and yet he is encouraging men to take up AI girlfriends with Grok.

Yeah.

That's quite ironic.

Yeah.

He doesn't make them kind of anime and weird, though.

Maybe he's just trying to like throw them off.

I don't know.

Yeah.

They're weirdly sexy, though.

Isn't that weirdly mixed?

Yeah.

Speaking of sexy, Olivia Rodrigo had beef with an artist over their shared ex, Joshua Bassett.

Who was this person?

Is it Sabrina Carpenter, Selena Gomez, Ariana Grande, or Doja Cat?

Who also dated this guy,

Joshua Bassett.

I know this one.

That was that for a stumbled segue.

What's the lore?

It's the lore in one of Olivia's songs that was viral on TikTok.

I hated it.

What's nice is we're not even going to have to read Michael's complex

process.

When he reveals this, it's going to be so uncanny.

You want to have to say

we're getting a torso this time?

You may be.

Don't.

Hold on.

I'm scared.

Yeah.

Okay.

All right.

There we go.

And

yeah,

Doja Cat.

No, that would be like predatory.

It was Sabrina.

It is Sabrina.

Sabrina.

Do you ever see in Tom and Jerry?

In Tom and Jerry, this was from like the 60s.

I was playing them for my kids.

They have this like really sexy cat.

This like hot.

I remember.

You know the one that's like.

And anyway, that's what I pictured Doja Cat to be.

Yeah, and she has like red lipstick on and everything.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Olivia's song says, like, you're probably with that blonde girl, and she's talking about Sabrina.

Wow.

But it was all over a guy that looks 12 anyway.

How old is Sabrina?

I'm not sure Joshua Bassett.

I'm sure he's a nice guy.

Sabrina?

I think Sabrina is 25.

Okay.

Now.

Not then.

How old's Doja Cat?

A little older than Olivia Rodrigo.

How old's Doja Cat?

She's the older woman.

Doja Cat?

Let me guess.

I think that Doja Cat is in her 30s.

I could be wrong.

So do you know that would make her

210 years old if she were Doja Dog?

In dog nurse?

Is that math correct?

Did you just like nail that?

I think so.

I I think so.

I have no idea.

I'm not going to fact-check you on that.

Thank you.

No, Michael, this is almost as doomer as the AI relationship question, but you are losing 9-4 to Mary Morgan right now.

That's 6'7, is what that is.

There's still time to come back.

All right, here we go.

Next up, a popular internet theory claims which male music artist is married to a woman who stalked him since childhood based on viral photos of her appearing in the background of his life for years.

Is it A, Kid

Leroy?

B Justin Bieber.

C Bryson Tiller.

D, Hi Dala Son.

Michael knows this.

I actually, I have this one pretty well done.

He's down the rabbit hole in this one.

This was kind of a layup.

This one, this story was huge.

Yeah.

He's a big Kid Leroy fan.

All right, what do you have?

I said E for Emmanuel Macron.

I hope that doesn't cost us a billion dollars.

Correct answer is be Justin Bieber.

It is Justin Bieber.

Wait, she

stalked him.

Mrs.

Bieber stalked him?

Allegedly.

Wow.

Allegedly, allegedly.

She's very pretty.

For years, like while

she started stalking him allegedly when she was like 12 years old.

That's dedication.

And all the women saw this story and they were like, I don't know.

It's kind of crazy, but I respect it.

Like maybe we need to normalize female aggression.

It's true.

I could have used a little more aggressiveness from the ladies, you know, during some of my single periods.

Come up.

Hey, Michael.

In these topsy-turvy times, what are we to do when men don't ask us out?

We have to be the pursuers,

which means we have to stalk them.

Speaking of aggressive women, this female artist was labeled a homewrecker after allegedly causing a divorce by sleeping with her married co-star, a new dad, and his wife's high school sweetheart.

She later dropped the song, Yes and

who is she?

Did Cardi B, Doja Cat, Selena Gomez, or Ariana Grande?

These are like too easy.

Is it just easy for me because I talk about this stuff?

I got that.

Even I got this one.

He's writing confidently.

Yeah.

These were huge stories.

It's stage four, ho, Ariana Grande.

Ariana Grande.

Not Ariana Pequeno, but Ariana Grande.

That's how I wrote that.

You are both correct.

Now, the current score is 11-5, which does make Mary Morgan the victor.

However,

this is a gentleman's game, and it's never too late to come back.

So if you're feeling frisky, you can risk it all on an all-or-nothing bonus question for the last round.

Mary Morgan, you want to do it?

Are you going to risk it all?

Yeah.

Yes.

Yes.

Oh,

let's go.

We had to just build her confidence in those last questions.

Yeah.

No,

this is going to rig it in Michael's favor.

I know.

It better rig it in my favor.

Let's go.

What is it?

You dirty riggers.

Yeah.

It's riggers.

It's for us.

No, for you.

I'm the rigger.

Yeah, it's my word.

All right.

He is an expert in this.

In 2025, OnlyFans' top earners include Bella Thorne, Iggy Azalea, and Bad Baby.

And it was topped by Sophie Rain.

How much did Sophie Rain reportedly earn in one year?

Closest without going over.

Wow, man, some people have it all.

You know, if Bad Baby can make all this money on OnlyFans and then headline the Super Bowl the following year, it's just an amazing

how much did Sophie Rainbow?

Sophie Rain is the top one on OnlyFans?

I don't know.

I've heard crazy numbers.

For like OnlyFans generally, even though most of them

are telling the truth.

Yeah.

She might be lying we never know

hold on and they're certainly lying to the government you're telling me a prostitute would lie

there's no no way i don't believe it

uh

you know this sophie rain girl is the one that got into a feud with bonnie blue because she was like you're tarnishing the reputation of sex workers everywhere bonnie right that's right some of us are in it because it's empowering and beautiful and you're just in it for the spectacle.

I'm just in it for love of the game, you know?

Money's only

everyone's a freak until Bonnie Blue pulls up.

Yeah, it is crazy because you see this

gal who appears to have been hollowed out by like very, very evil

forces, and she seems to be like almost, you know, like 700 years old with this wizened face.

And then you find out she's like 23 or something.

Like, oh man, ladies.

She's not.

She is 100% lying about her age.

That's just totally not true.

And I think that she's probably just clinically a psychopath.

She's like dark tetrad.

Yeah,

could be.

She never returned any of my calls back in my single days, you know, not once.

I could have been disturbing.

You just said she's old.

Don't make it weird.

You just said she was really old.

All right.

Look, I'm just going off of what the media told me.

That's what I always do.

Okay, hold on.

Sophia Rain.

I kind of like that.

That's a nice name.

I'm gonna, I don't know.

This is the one that she talks about being Christian a lot.

Oh, really?

Interesting.

Yeah.

She made the most of anyone.

Yeah, whatever she's doing is working, apparently.

All right, 10 seconds.

Close without going over.

I think I was close.

All right.

Oh, man, the tension.

You cut it with a knife.

What do you got, Michael?

I said $36 million.

Okay.

That looks like $136.

Is that just the dollar sign?

That's the dollar sign.

I wasted all of it drawing little figures of cats and stuff.

I might have guessed too high, but I feel like I remember it being

this high.

It's 55 million.

Well, it looks like there is a new Maven of pop culture because it was 43 million.

Go!

So rigged.

Oh, man.

I want to thank every degenerate Zoomer out there for spending money on an evil and disgusting vice that is corrupting your soul because you just let me win a meaningless game.

So thank you.

You should damn it.

I thought I knew my stuff.

You just proved me wrong.

Maybe you should take over my job, Michael.

I've said it for years.

I've been gunning to be just a hip cool Zoomer chick.

Well, to the victor, does go the spoils.

You can be whatever you want.

Again, yeah.

This is great.

Wow.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Well, Mary Morgan, thank you so much for playing this game.

And would you please give Michael a 30-second ad read for why people should tune in and watch the Michael Knowles show?

you should tune in and watch the Michael Knowles show because he is such a Riz master that the Riz might emanate from the screen and be endowed onto you and one day you could have as much Riz as Michael Knowles that's so beautiful that was so nice I

wow it's like Men want him.

Women want to be him.

It's this is big.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

I'm honored.

Wait, what?

Huh?

Hold on.

I

admire your bravery, Mary, Mary Morgan, for going out, risking it all.

Sometimes, you know, in love, in culture, you have to take risks.

Sometimes they pay off.

Sometimes they don't.

Mr.

Davies, thank you once again for having me on my own show.

And

I'm happy that I could teach everyone a thing or two.

Well, there you have it.

And if you haven't already, go subscribe to the Pop Culture Crisis on YouTube and follow Mary Morgan and drop a comment with who you want us to have on next and what topic to cover in the next episode of Face Off.

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Reese's peanut butter cups.

They go perfectly with music,

podcasts, and welcome back to the show.

Even nature sounds.

Oh, and the thing where someone crinkles tissue and whispers at you.

Hello.

Look, I'm not here to judge what you listen to, I'm here to judge you for not eating Reese's while you listen to it.

Reese's.

Ashley, go back to the nature sounds.

Nice.

Yeah, that's really nice.