Michael Knowles DESTROYS Woke Commercials... They Keep Getting Worse

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Speaker 6 I have terrible news for you, folks.

Speaker 6 We all thought that Woke had been exterminated.

Speaker 6 And it largely has been. However, little traces linger on.

Speaker 7 Little hints of liberalism linger on.

Speaker 6 And there's a silver lining to that. It means that there are, in fact, more woke commercials for us to see.
My producers have assembled them. We will find them.
We will find the libness.

Speaker 6 We will identify it. We will quash it forever.

Speaker 6 Take it away.

Speaker 1 More importantly, we agreed that our role as his parents was not to change him, but to love him.

Speaker 8 I also need to

Speaker 10 do everything in our power. It's fine.

Speaker 11 I wanted to...

Speaker 11 Okay.

Speaker 9 Hey, Sam.

Speaker 10 Yeah.

Speaker 8 Here.

Speaker 9 Have fun tonight.

Speaker 3 Listening brings us closer.

Speaker 4 Audible.

Speaker 6 So, okay. It used to be the commercials just led with all the woke.
So you couldn't even even identify what the company was. That was the game.
Okay. Now you don't have to do that.

Speaker 6 Now, at the very least, we can say that in the woke commercials, they are leading with the product. That's an improvement.

Speaker 6 And there's even something to like, you know, the kid is like, I'm having, you know, strange thoughts and desires about sex.

Speaker 6 And maybe the dad says, okay, buddy, well, you know, you try to be like kind of nice about it. It's the part at the end that's a little much.

Speaker 9 He's gay,

Speaker 9 but he has a special connection to classical music.

Speaker 6 He's there with the guy, it's the son with the guy, and they pull their hands away. And then the dad's like, Hey, say, kid, here's a here's a six bag of miller, some poppers, and uh, keys to my car.

Speaker 6 You go get crazy, kids.

Speaker 6 Ah,

Speaker 6 audible.

Speaker 6 Jane Austen novels. Okay.
All right. Next one.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I was a kid growing up, so everyone's looking at your freckles. Didn't really like it.

Speaker 12 I mean, we're used to butt comments.

Speaker 10 I looked at it as something that only motivated me to go harder.

Speaker 14 I used to get upset by it, but then I realized none of it really matters.

Speaker 14 How do you say I love you inside?

Speaker 8 I

Speaker 8 can't

Speaker 8 believe you.

Speaker 1 It doesn't matter what the people say.

Speaker 11 Everyone's entitled to their playing for sure.

Speaker 8 All you need is love.

Speaker 8 All you need is love.

Speaker 8 All you need is love.

Speaker 8 Love.

Speaker 8 Love is all you need.

Speaker 4 Love is all you need.

Speaker 15 Want to spray cranberry?

Speaker 6 All right, I take it back. I thought the new commercials were at least leading with the product.

Speaker 15 You want a Sprite?

Speaker 6 But if you said, Michael, list

Speaker 6 1,500 products that that ad could be selling, I would not have guessed Sprite. McDonald's Sprite, boy.

Speaker 6 When did that ad come out? There's no way that's a 2025 ad. That ad has very strong 2022 energy.
I don't believe that that's a a new ad. We'll look it up later.

Speaker 6 Next one.

Speaker 4 Your journey.

Speaker 4 But your road

Speaker 7 to the Kennedy Center.

Speaker 4 Your drive.

Speaker 1 Whoever you meet along the way.

Speaker 4 Wherever you go,

Speaker 11 whoever you become.

Speaker 10 We're with you along for the ride.

Speaker 10 Oh, it's so good.

Speaker 6 They led with the product. It was like, hey, Nissan, no one's buying our cars anymore.
Maybe we can pander to the gays.

Speaker 2 Well, did it work for those people?

Speaker 12 No, it never does. I mean, these people somehow delude themselves into thinking it might, but

Speaker 12 it might work for us.

Speaker 6 Our company is in serious distress. Maybe if we pander to the gays, especially, I don't know when that commercial came out.

Speaker 6 No.

Speaker 9 I'm gay.

Speaker 6 In a way, that would make sense if that were a new commercial because Nissan's having serious problems. And so maybe they're saying, like, all right, this is a last-ditch effort.

Speaker 6 You know, this is, all right, let's see. No one's doing woke anymore.
Maybe we could do woke and maybe that'll help prop up our sales.

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Speaker 6 Canadians have football? That's fine. It's Canada.
You got to grade Canada on a curve.

Speaker 6 I would never make the claim that woke is dead in Canada or whatever, America's evil top hat. That's fine.
There are any like Smiths?

Speaker 6 You know,

Speaker 6 it's like, I don't know. O'Shea, I guess, is close, but the Irish, I don't know.
Okay, that's fine. I don't care.

Speaker 6 Canada can do what it likes. Until it's the 51st state, they can do what they like.

Speaker 12 I do feel it's much better for Canada.

Speaker 6 Next one.

Speaker 6 Procter and Gambler's always proctoring.

Speaker 11 I experience racism racism and prejudice every day.

Speaker 11 I see the eyeline of someone who's afraid of one who looks like me.

Speaker 2 When we see black faces on television, they are mostly negative.

Speaker 13 When I see stereotypes in TV and movies and film, it's disappointing. It makes me sad.

Speaker 2 They only want to see us either as slaves or thugs.

Speaker 11 I noticed I was always getting thug roles,

Speaker 11 something that warranted aggression.

Speaker 12 Growing up and seeing certain caricatures of black people in commercials, in films, and that being a direct line to racism.

Speaker 14 So beautiful when you see stories of everyday people and how showing the family dynamic in reality would be a great thing.

Speaker 6 Procter and Gamble.

Speaker 6 Okay, again, they led with it.

Speaker 6 But what's the thesis of the commercial is that, you all prejudice, prejudice, which is something that all human beings constantly necessarily engage in because we don't have the time or the resources to rationally analyze every single thing we do all day.

Speaker 6 So we all engage in some kind of prejudice. Some of it's unjust.
Some of it is totally justified.

Speaker 6 But they're saying the reason that people have prejudice, especially racial prejudice, is because of the media. I think, first of all, the media are all making ads like Procter ⁇ Gamble.

Speaker 9 That was last year. This year, I'm trying to earn a living.

Speaker 6 What are you talking about? The media are doing the the exact opposite of what you're suggesting. But it reminds me of a Chris Rock bit

Speaker 6 where Chris Rock said, he was like, yeah, people are always blaming the media for racism, whatever.

Speaker 6 It's like, I tell you what, when I go to the money machine later tonight, I'm not looking over my shoulder for the media. That's for sure.

Speaker 6 Oh, no, the media is coming to get me.

Speaker 6 It's like, oh, no, Walter Cronkite.

Speaker 15 Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Speaker 15 He's butchering it.

Speaker 15 Could you just let me? Every time, every time black people want to have a good time, some eating eating it ass.

Speaker 6 So anyway, that's not the worst one. The most egregious one, I guess, is

Speaker 6 it's between Sprite and the gay. Like, hey, kids, take the car out tonight.
Get wild. Hey, kids.

Speaker 9 Ever hang around the gymnasium.

Speaker 6 Go hit the bathhouse. Get crazy.
Here's some drugs.

Speaker 6 I'm accepting. Audible.

Speaker 6 Probably the audible. The audible ones, probably the weird one.

Speaker 4 Sprite is coming up on the inside. Oh my goodness.

Speaker 8 The lovely.

Speaker 6 Sprite is a close runner-up, though. Okay.

Speaker 6 And hey, maybe this will be the last rope commercials we ever put up. Maybe they'll all be gone after this.

Speaker 6 Only time will tell. I'm Michael.
I'll see you next time.

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