Kalief Browder: A Decade Later

18m
Ten years after his suicide, lessons from what Browder shared with The New Yorker about his time in solitary confinement.

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Speaker 1 This is the New Yorker Radio Hour, a co-production of WNYC Studios and the New Yorker.

Speaker 4 This is the New Yorker Radio Hour. I'm David Remnick.

Speaker 4 Take a moment and think back to your high school years, where you lived, who your friends were, what you were into.

Speaker 4 Now imagine that your junior and senior years of high school never happened. That instead, you had spent those years trapped in a jail cell without ever being convicted of a crime.

Speaker 4 This is not a story out of Kafka. It's what happened to Khalif Browder, a teenager from the Bronx.

Speaker 4 When Browder was just 16, he was held for robbery and assault charges after allegedly stealing a backpack.

Speaker 4 He spent three years on Rikers Island, New York City's notorious jail complex, waiting to go to trial.

Speaker 4 New Yorker staff writer Jennifer Gonerman wrote about Browder in 2014 and the case put a spotlight on all the failings of New York City's justice system.

Speaker 4 Delays in the courts, the overuse of solitary confinement, teenagers charged as adults, brutality on the part of corrections officers. Two years after Browder got out of jail, he took his own life.

Speaker 4 His suicide became national news and was mentioned by President Obama in an op-ed condemning the overuse of solitary confinement.

Speaker 4 Shortly after Browder's death, a court ruled that conditions at Rikers Island were so bad that the jail was put under federal oversight. Things did not improve.

Speaker 4 So far this year, seven people have died at the jail or shortly after being released.

Speaker 4 And last month, New York City lost control of the jail when a federal judge said she would appoint an outside official to run it. The 10th anniversary of Browder's death was on June 6th.

Speaker 4 Jennifer Gonerman went back to the recordings from her hours of interviews with him, and you can hear her pen scratching in the background as she took notes.

Speaker 3 I met Khalif about nine months after he got out of jail. This was early in 2014.
Here, you should feel as hot. Yeah, no, so I just have like a bunch of little questions that are more.

Speaker 3 We get together near his lawyer's office. Usually Cleef showed up wearing a hoodie with one earbud in his ear, the other dangling down.

Speaker 3 I have a whole disc. It's tough stuff I type.
He came across as shy and quiet. But when I would turn on a tape recorder, he would talk, sometimes for two or three hours at a stretch.

Speaker 3 Not just about his time in jail, but about his life before when he was still just a sophomore in high school.

Speaker 5 I'm not gonna talk to you or tell you I was a good kid and did did all my work. I did do my work, but I did fool around with the girls and the kids playing in the hallways.

Speaker 5 I was a kid doing what kids did. We were playing around in the bathroom.
Sometimes get the hallway passed, play around in my friend's classroom, whatever. The teacher be like, get out.

Speaker 5 I'd be like, all right, I'm killing this. I'm going to go with my class.
Stuff like that.

Speaker 5 Right.

Speaker 3 Khalif's life as a high school student ended late one night in May of 2010.

Speaker 5 To be honest, I thought it was just a routine stop and search for a stop and frisk.

Speaker 5 When they came out the car, they told me and my friend to put our hands on the wall, and I just thought it was a search. Yeah, don't worry about it.
We're just going to go to precinct.

Speaker 5 We just want to figure out some things. Most likely you're going to go home.

Speaker 5 I know I didn't do anything, so I said, all right, I'll go to the precinct, but then I'm going to come home. But it didn't, I never went home.

Speaker 3 Khalif was taken over the bridge to Rikers Island, where he entered a whole different reality.

Speaker 5 That whole Rikers Island thing is one big misunderstanding. Like the right and wrong is weird in there.
Like what's right to them isn't right and what's wrong isn't wrong.

Speaker 5 It took a whole lot of getting used to it in there.

Speaker 3 For most of Khalif's time on Rikers, he was in solitary confinement, usually a 12 by 7 foot cell, for at least 23 hours a day.

Speaker 3 He got sent to solitary for fighting with other inmates, but once you got there, it was very easy to rack up more and more days. And the worst time of year was the summer.

Speaker 5 They have a vet and it blows heat for some reason. I don't know why.

Speaker 5 You think that it would blow cold air, but it's heat. If you put your hand next to it, it's heat.

Speaker 3 The vents did serve another purpose, though. All day long, inmates had conversations through them.

Speaker 5 I'll fake a friend somebody. What do you call it? Fake befriend?

Speaker 5 Right, because I'm not really trying to become your friend, but I'm talking to you, but then they feel like they're your friend and then they want to talk about all this other stuff.

Speaker 5 I don't want to talk about that stuff.

Speaker 3 What do they want to talk about?

Speaker 5 Gang stuff or I robbed this person or I shot this person. A bunch of dumb stuff and I don't want to hear that.

Speaker 5 And then there's times when they talk to themselves and yell at themselves and bang their heads on the wall all day. And they're very loud.

Speaker 5 You know it's real because they'll be in an event with you for about a month or two and they do it all day every day So you know it's not a game What if it's 11 o'clock at night that could be going on 11 o'clock at night?

Speaker 5 No 11 it'll be 4 a.m. in the morning and then dude will be kicking yelling to the top his lunch

Speaker 5 Then you try to talk to them, but they don't understand what you're trying to say because they're mentally disturbed So they get mad and then they start doing it more

Speaker 5 I mean, I have one dude he was talking to himself all day every day. He's actually have like how we're having a conversation just like that with himself all day.

Speaker 5 That's the type of person where once in the blue moon, I really listened to and just laughed to myself.

Speaker 5 Like, there was a time when, you know, he was talking about a video game, Grand Theft Auto, and one of the Grand Theft Autos that he was talking about, I actually played it.

Speaker 5 So when he was talking to himself about it and the stuff you do in the game, I was actually laughing because he was telling the truth.

Speaker 5 But when you're trying to go to sleep and he's yelling and that goes out the window, you're like, it's not even funny no more. It's really annoying.

Speaker 4 Jennifer Gonerman speaking with Khalif Browder.

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Speaker 3 Khalif missed his junior and senior years of high school. Teenage inmates do attend classes on Rikers, but because Khalif was in solitary, all that he had was something called self-study.

Speaker 3 A correction officer would slip worksheets under his door and pick them up a few days later.

Speaker 5 The way I see it was like they put me in jail for something I didn't do. I might as well try to do something.

Speaker 5 So I used to take the school thing serious. I used to really be looking forward to taking a test.
And the CEO will come and then she'll pick up people's schoolwork, and I'm on the top tier.

Speaker 5 And I'll call her, Co, Mitch, come such and such cell on the top. I got work for you.
Hey, I'm coming up there right now. Then they don't come.

Speaker 5 Then you call a captain, Captain, my work, what's going on? I'm going to find out. Just give me an hour.
I'm going to come back. I'm going to see what's going on.

Speaker 5 Before you know, the shifts changing. You're like, dad, you're trying to really progress.
You really, this is school. You're not talking about anything else.
You're talking about school.

Speaker 5 And they still don't even respect it.

Speaker 5 All day I'm thinking about, dad, I'm hungry, I'm hungry, I'm hungry. I used to actually beg this correction officers, they would finish surfing the food and there's always extras.

Speaker 5 But it would be, you know, two, three slices of bread left over. But I'm hungry.
So I would ask him, I would say, you know, can I get that bread? And he would tell me, no, you don't want that.

Speaker 3 that why not because it's the end piece of the bread you don't want I don't care if that's the end piece of the bread I'm hungry I want that bread now you don't want it and they'll tell me no Khalif endured violence on Rikers Island at the hands of correction officers and other inmates but when I asked him what was the worst part of being on Rikers he didn't say the violence it was the hunger sometimes if you made a guard mad When he came around with the meal trays, he'd skip your cell.

Speaker 5 You're just stuck in a cell and you're getting starved and you're hungry and then at night time you can't even go to sleep because your ribs are touching literally how can you not get angry at that?

Speaker 5 Just being in a situation where you can't do nothing and you you know you're helpless that's very stressful like and you just powerless.

Speaker 5 When it's hot and the walls are sweating, the heat's coming out the vent, you didn't get in the shower past two days, your cells dirty, and then you read all your books already and you're just sitting there.

Speaker 5 That's very stressful. Like, it's crazy.

Speaker 3 Do you feel yourself changing? Like, I don't know, getting more angry or short-temper, or

Speaker 5 the anger would come when I would be in my cell and I would get starved.

Speaker 5 And then, when I try to talk to their superiors, when I try to talk to them, they just walk away from me, and then I'm in my cell, so it's not like I could tap his back and be like, hey, I'm talking to you.

Speaker 3 There was one way to get the attention of a captain. When the officers delivered the food trays and picked them up, they had to unlock the slot in the cell door.

Speaker 3 If you were quick enough, you could shove your arm out through the slot and keep it there. The inmates called this holding your slot.

Speaker 5 Because if you don't hold your slot, you're like an unheard voice. The correction officers will not put you in the shower and they'll disrespect you or do all types of stuff to you.

Speaker 5 And you can't tell nobody. You'll try to talk to the captain.
They'll just keep walking on you. Nobody wants to hear you.
You have no voice.

Speaker 3 If you get hold your slot, they give you more days on that?

Speaker 5 It depends because you got some captions that they talk to you, they work it out with you, like what's going on?

Speaker 3 Like a regular person. Right.

Speaker 5 But then you got some of them, oh, you're holding your slot. I don't care, write him up.

Speaker 5 So when you take matters into your hands, and it's like a double-edged sword, it might work and it might not work.

Speaker 5 I used to tell my moms the stuff the correction officers used to do to me and it's like, I remember the days when I used to be able to come to my mom like mom i need help da-da-da something happened to me in school my mom be there get me out of trouble but now i'm in jail and the correction officers are violating my rights my mom can't even help me it is a weird situation my mom was always able to help and now my mom was just crying on the phone just it was out of her hands

Speaker 5 So it's stressing and then especially during the times like Christmas and Thanksgiving when I'm in solitary confinement and I call my mom and then they're telling me we're eating this, but you're doing this, we're doing that.

Speaker 5 And I'm just sitting in solitary confinement for something I didn't do.

Speaker 3 A few times the stress seemed to overtake Khalif.

Speaker 3 One night he tied his bed sheet into a noose and tried to hang himself from his light fixture.

Speaker 3 By then he had been on Rikers for almost two years and was still waiting for his case to go to trial. Every six or eight weeks he was brought to the Bronx to stand before a judge.

Speaker 5 Every time with the court, it was always that side of me that's telling me, like, you're gonna go home.

Speaker 5 But then I tried not to hype myself up because it hurts when you think you're going home and then you don't go home. That's all I used to cut in my mind.
I can't wait to go to trial.

Speaker 5 So I could prove I didn't do it. That's all I used to tell myself, I want to go to trial, I want to go to trial, I want to go to trial.

Speaker 5 And no trial, no trial. And I used to tell myself, why aren't they ready for trial? I don't understand.

Speaker 3 Finally, after Khalif had made 30 trips back and forth to court a judge told him that he could go home today

Speaker 5 all he had to do she said was to plead guilty the first thing that came to my head is for them to offer me something like that they have to know they're wrong so they know they're wrong there's no point in taking it and i told her i didn't do it i'm not saying i did sign down and then do she like i'll let you go home today you won't have no probation she said a bunch of things that sounded good and i and it really was tempting too it was a lot mentally because half of you you wants to get out of there and the other half don't want to leave just over the strength of a principle.

Speaker 5 You know, all of that put together just made my head go crazy.

Speaker 3 It's astonishing, but Khalif turned down the offer. Even though he knew that if he went to trial and lost, he could get up to 15 years in state prison.

Speaker 5 After that court day, I cried and I said, yo, what if I made a mistake?

Speaker 5 I always knew that there's always people that's innocent that go to trial and they blow you know like what if I go to trial and and I do blow

Speaker 5 dudes that I was that was fake my friends in there they used to tell me Khalif why just take it go home I told them bro you don't understand how I feel right now I didn't do this I've been here in here 30 something months you think I'm gonna just take that it's all okay and I'm gonna just go home no so all the other guys I'm right with they like they don't understand what you're talking about right they're like doesn't make any sense to me right they call me all types of names you're dumb you're stupid if that was me I would have said I did it went home

Speaker 5 and I'm not gonna lie I mean it did get to me I when I used to talk like that I used to go to my cell and lay down and and think like you know maybe I am crazy or maybe I am going too far but I just did what I felt was right

Speaker 3 At his next court date in the spring of 2013, the judge dismissed the charges against Khalif Browder altogether. He moved back home into his mother's house in the Bronx and enrolled in a GED class.

Speaker 3 But he could not stop thinking about that day in court, how nobody had apologized to him or even acknowledged the fact that he had just lost three years of his life.

Speaker 5 You can't understand it if you've never been to Rikers Island.

Speaker 5 It's not like out here.

Speaker 5 Out here,

Speaker 5 you can just live life and go about your business.

Speaker 5 And there, there's no living life there's no life at all in there it's just it's just a how it's one big how there's no happiness to it at all if like we weren't sitting down and i wasn't asking you about this do you think you would be thinking about it otherwise

Speaker 5 i think about jail and the stuff that happened in there and the stuff that i've seen in there every day i just

Speaker 5 feel as if there's no way that somebody could possibly tell me to just get over it and stop thinking about that stuff. There's no way.

Speaker 3 Is that something that people say to you?

Speaker 5 I mean, some people feel as if I need to get over it, but, you know, it's not easy to get over it.

Speaker 3 In the spring of 2014, Khalif found out that he had passed his GED exam on the first try, and he was ecstatic. He enrolled at Bronx Community College, eventually earning a GPA of 3.5.

Speaker 3 But his mental health problems continued. He had attempted suicide and a few times he was confined in a hospital psychiatric ward.

Speaker 3 On a Saturday afternoon, I got a phone call. I saw that it was Khalif's attorney and I knew that it was bad news.
He wouldn't usually call on a Saturday.

Speaker 3 Khalif had killed himself.

Speaker 3 We went to his house that night. His parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, and uncles were there, and everyone seemed to be in shock.

Speaker 3 On the second floor, his father showed me where Khalif had pulled an air conditioner out of the wall, looped a cord around his neck, and pushed his body out through the opening.

Speaker 3 He was 22 years old.

Speaker 3 Now when I listen back to my interviews with Khalif, I wonder why did he spend so many hours confiding in me, a stranger, about the worst experiences of his life.

Speaker 3 I know he wanted his suffering to count for something so that other people wouldn't have to go through what he endured.

Speaker 3 But I also think about how in the end Khalif never got his day in court and I think he really just wanted the chance to finally tell his story.

Speaker 5 My friends that was in school, they didn't know anything because I bumped into a few of them. They would ask me, where you been? I haven't seen you in a while.

Speaker 5 I told them like I was arrested, I got locked up, and I had to tell them the sob story.

Speaker 3 What do you tell them? Like, how do you tell the short version of that story?

Speaker 5 I would tell them how I got arrested for something I didn't do.

Speaker 5 Took me 37 months to prove that I didn't do it.

Speaker 4 Khalif Browder, who died 10 years ago this June, talking with the New Yorkers, Jennifer Gonerman.

Speaker 4 That's the New Yorker Radio Hour for today. Thanks so much for listening.

Speaker 5 See you next time.

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