S22 Ep2: NoSleep Podcast S22E02

Speaker 2 The No Sleep Podcast is brought to you by Progressive Insurance.

Speaker 6 Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians.

Speaker 9 These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds.

Speaker 4 Because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home, and more.

Speaker 12 Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it, so your dollar goes a long way.

Speaker 16 Visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance.

Speaker 17 Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates.

Speaker 18 Potential savings will vary, not available in all states or situations.

Speaker 18 They're calling.

Speaker 18 The phone is ringing.

Speaker 18 A message from an unknown caller.

Speaker 18 A voice unrecognizable.

Speaker 18 Audio messages from the shadows.

Speaker 18 But one message is clear.

Speaker 18 And it says:

Speaker 18 brace yourself for the No Sleep podcast.

Speaker 22 You're doing a good job.

Speaker 21 You're doing a good job.

Speaker 21 You're doing a good job.

Speaker 21 You're doing a good job.

Speaker 23 Season 22 is rolling on, and so is December.

Speaker 10 As the holidays and the new year approach, it's easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of this busy month.

Speaker 23 We're glad to be along for the ride.

Speaker 7 The ride into the dark, wintry night.

Speaker 23 We hope our horror stories provide a nice backdrop to all the other festivities of the season.

Speaker 10 And on a personal note, I want to express my sincere thanks to the many people who reached out over the past couple of weeks while I was dealing with some health issues.

Speaker 15 I was very touched by your warm, caring comments.

Speaker 23 It's nice to have the ailments go away while your kind words linger.

Speaker 1 So thanks for bringing some light and love into what was a rather unpleasant week.

Speaker 23 And how appropriate that this week's episode deals with people who are facing problems in their life.

Speaker 23 We all have to learn to overcome the struggles we face, but sometimes when we're dealing with a problem, the things we choose to do in response to those problems lead only to more problems, usually much more serious ones.

Speaker 2 The No Sleep Podcast is brought to you by Progressive Insurance.

Speaker 4 Fiscally responsible.

Speaker 5 Financial geniuses.

Speaker 6 Monetary magicians.

Speaker 9 These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to progressive and save hundreds.

Speaker 4 Because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home, and more.

Speaker 12 Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it, so your dollar goes a long way.

Speaker 16 Visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance.

Speaker 17 Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates.

Speaker 18 Potential savings will vary, not available in all states or situations.

Speaker 25 What does Zin really give you?

Speaker 26 Not just hands-free nicotine satisfaction, but also real freedom.

Speaker 30 Freedom to do more of what you love, when and where you want to do it.

Speaker 26 When is the right time for Zen?

Speaker 31 It's any time you need to be ready for every chance that's coming your way.

Speaker 33 Smoke-free, hassle-free, on your terms.

Speaker 30 Why bring Zen along for the ride?

Speaker 34 Because America's number one nicotine pouch opens up something just as exciting as the road ahead. It opens up the endless possibilities of now.

Speaker 26 From the way you spend your day to the people you choose to spend it with.

Speaker 33 From the to-do list right in front of you to the distant goal only you can see.

Speaker 30 With Zin, you don't just find freedom.

Speaker 31 You keep finding it again and again.

Speaker 30 Find your Zen.

Speaker 36 Learn more at Zinn.com.

Speaker 28 Warning, this product contains nicotine.

Speaker 12 Nicotine is an addictive chemical.

Speaker 23 Now, do you dare pick up your phone and listen to the voices calling to you?

Speaker 4 In our first tale, we meet Lynn.

Speaker 16 She's in a situation many of us can relate to.

Speaker 1 Not a lot of cheese in the old bank account.

Speaker 23 Imagine her surprise when a mystery deposit shows up.

Speaker 8 But in this tale, shared with us by author Blair Daniels, She soon realizes the money doesn't belong to her, and the big question now is, should she keep it or not?

Speaker 7 Performing this tale are Aaron Lillis and Kyle Akers.

Speaker 23 So keep track of your dollars and cents. You don't want to get caught off guard by unknown bank deposits.

Speaker 41 The first deposit came on a Tuesday.

Speaker 42 I was on my way to lunch when my phone vibrated in my pocket. Hmm.

Speaker 43 Woohoo! You just got paid.

Speaker 45 My budgeting app gleefully told me.

Speaker 46 That's odd, I thought.

Speaker 41 Payday wasn't until Friday.

Speaker 41 I opened the app to find a deposit of $250.

Speaker 41 It was from a sender I didn't recognize. It was A-W-S-T-G-H-Y-2276.

Speaker 41 I quickly shot off a text message to my husband, because it was our joint account, but he didn't recognize it either.

Speaker 50 My next thought was PayPal.

Speaker 52 I did occasionally get weird payments.

Speaker 41 I have a crafting side hustle that's more of a side crawl, but those payments usually say PayPal in the transaction.

Speaker 41 So who was just giving me money?

Speaker 55 Must be a scam.

Speaker 41 But as the hours went by, I didn't get any weird texts or phone calls. That fat $250 just sat there in my bank account, taking up space.

Speaker 51 I told my husband about it when I got home.

Speaker 56 We should give it back.

Speaker 57 I don't think we can do that.

Speaker 56 Sure we can.

Speaker 58 We can call the bank.

Speaker 59 Tell them to reverse the transaction.

Speaker 39 I shot him a look.

Speaker 50 Or we could just keep it.

Speaker 45 Someone did give it to us.

Speaker 61 That's unethical.

Speaker 43 What's unethical is forcing the kids to eat rice and beans for lunch every day.

Speaker 62 Slammed the refrigerator shut and plopped down on the couch.

Speaker 50 Look, I feel a little weird about it too, okay?

Speaker 46 But it's not like I picked up a wallet someone dropped and found $250 in it.

Speaker 22 Someone actually gave this to us, whether it was accidental or not.

Speaker 65 We argued about it until we went to sleep.

Speaker 41 Well, not really argued, more just aggressively talked at each other. With three kids and two full-time jobs, neither of us had the energy to properly argue anymore.

Speaker 41 When I woke up the next morning, there was a text from an unknown number waiting for me.

Speaker 66 At 2:13 p.m. today, go to the corner of 12th Avenue and North Street.

Speaker 47 Take a photo of the short man in the black coat.

Speaker 47 What the heck?

Speaker 38 But Jerry had already left for work.

Speaker 41 I'd tell him about it later, the weird text from a wrong number.

Speaker 50 As I got the kids ready for school, I couldn't stop smiling.

Speaker 46 Tomorrow, you guys are gonna get a special lunch, not rice and beans, something really good, I told them as we walked down the driveway.

Speaker 42 After waving to them on the bus, I left for work.

Speaker 44 But then another text came in as I was riding the elevator up.

Speaker 47 If you want to keep the $250, take the photo.

Speaker 42 My throat went dry.

Speaker 44 It wasn't free money. Some...

Speaker 47 some weirdo wired $250 to me.

Speaker 39 The elevator door slid open and I stumbled out.

Speaker 53 How do they have my number?

Speaker 13 Is it someone I know?

Speaker 71 I glanced around at the hall of cubicles, at the people I'd worked side by side with for five years.

Speaker 72 Ed, Ed is weird enough to pull some shit like this.

Speaker 62 But then then I frowned.

Speaker 46 If Ed were wiring me $250,

Speaker 50 he'd be asking for a photo of...

Speaker 39 something else.

Speaker 53 I set my phone face down on the desk and got to work.

Speaker 46 I didn't spend another thought on the text.

Speaker 57 I pretended it didn't even happen.

Speaker 74 I just focused on my happy little spreadsheets.

Speaker 50 on the upcoming presentation and hoped it would all go away by five.

Speaker 39 It didn't.

Speaker 76 At two o'clock sharp, my phone buzzed loudly.

Speaker 47 And when I pulled up the text, my breath caught in my throat.

Speaker 14 Why haven't you left yet?

Speaker 62 I glanced wildly around the office, but nobody was looking at me.

Speaker 22 I ran over to the window.

Speaker 70 The sidewalk below was filled with people, but none of them were looking up in my direction.

Speaker 42 Fear pounded through my veins.

Speaker 47 You want to give your kids that special lunch tomorrow, don't you?

Speaker 48 I froze.

Speaker 48 No.

Speaker 63 They'd been in my yard, watching me.

Speaker 71 And now they were somewhere on the street or in this very office watching my every move.

Speaker 50 I shot up from the desk and I ran to the elevator.

Speaker 53 It took me eight minutes to get to the corner of 12th and North, running, in heels.

Speaker 62 Panting, I glanced around at my surroundings, but I didn't see anything at the place.

Speaker 55 A woman jogging by, a mother pushing a stroller, two businessmen arguing as they crossed the street.

Speaker 48 And at 2.13, a short man in a black coat strolled into view.

Speaker 48 He pressed the button for the crosswalk.

Speaker 65 Quickly, I whipped out my phone, pretended I was texting, and snapped a photo of him.

Speaker 48 I rushed back to the office building, tears stinging my eyes as my fingers slid across the screen.

Speaker 50 Here's your photo, I texted with the image.

Speaker 60 Now leave me the fuck alone.

Speaker 48 After work, I went to the grocery store.

Speaker 45 I got my kids organic sliced turkey, an aged gouda, and fucking gourmet Swiss chocolate for lunch tomorrow.

Speaker 47 I played their stupid little sick game.

Speaker 71 Damn it if I wasn't going to reap the the rewards.

Speaker 47 As the goods approached the conveyor belt, my phone vibrated.

Speaker 43 Woohoo! You just got paid!

Speaker 43 My heart fell into my stomach,

Speaker 63 and it fell through the floor when I saw the amount.

Speaker 39 $1,000.

Speaker 46 Whatever they were going to ask me to do tomorrow, I had a feeling it was going to be a lot worse than taking a photo of some random guy.

Speaker 76 Threw my groceries into the trunk of the car, the whole world going blurry with my tears.

Speaker 43 Just ignore it. Whatever they ask you to do tomorrow, just don't respond.

Speaker 46 They'll take the money back, and that'll be it.

Speaker 63 And then you can go to the police and tell them everything.

Speaker 65 I was naive to assume they'd wait until tomorrow because as I started the car, my phone buzzed again.

Speaker 71 Drive to the pier.

Speaker 38 I stared at those four words, my heart pounding in my chest.

Speaker 55 And then I leapt into action.

Speaker 22 I don't want to play your sick fucking game, I texted, my hands shaking.

Speaker 54 Take your money back.

Speaker 53 I don't want it. Leave me alone.

Speaker 71 It's too late for that.

Speaker 71 I swallowed.

Speaker 53 What do you mean?

Speaker 39 It's too late, I wrote back.

Speaker 46 Three dots popped up, showing they were typing.

Speaker 47 And then the message appeared.

Speaker 48 Because the cargo is already in your back seat.

Speaker 39 My heart pounded in my ears.

Speaker 63 You really shouldn't leave your car unlocked, Lynn.

Speaker 62 I closed out of the texting app, pulled up the phone, and began dialing 911.

Speaker 57 Something thumped against the back of my seat.

Speaker 65 Every muscle in my body froze.

Speaker 39 I held my breath.

Speaker 53 The shadows in the rearview mirror shifted, but I couldn't quite make out.

Speaker 71 Drive to the pier and you'll be safe. But if you call the police...

Speaker 4 He didn't need to finish that sentence.

Speaker 43 I swung out of the parking lot and drove as fast as I could to the pier.

Speaker 43 When I got there, I parked in a dark little corner and cut the lights.

Speaker 63 Now in the darkness, in the silence, I could hear them breathing.

Speaker 53 A steady rush of air right behind my ear.

Speaker 67 Close your eyes.

Speaker 63 I squeezed them shut tight.

Speaker 53 Rustling movement in the back seat.

Speaker 69 And then the open and close of a car door.

Speaker 47 Faint footsteps on the pavement, receding into the darkness.

Speaker 53 I let out the breath I'd been holding.

Speaker 45 I don't know how long I'd been sitting there with my eyes closed, but I finally felt like it was safe to open them when I hadn't heard the footsteps in a long time.

Speaker 63 I sobbed as I drove home, so thankful I was alive, praying that this whole nightmare was over.

Speaker 43 That whoever this person was, they'd used me as much as they could and would move on to the next poor soul.

Speaker 53 I wasn't so lucky

Speaker 54 because this morning when I woke up, I had a new notification:

Speaker 60 Woohoo! You just got paid.

Speaker 79 The amount?

Speaker 67 $10,000.

Speaker 63 I called in sick to work.

Speaker 64 All I could do was sit there staring at my phone, my heart pounding in my chest.

Speaker 65 I couldn't eat, couldn't focus, couldn't move, because I knew sooner or later I'd get the instructions.

Speaker 65 It was almost noon when my phone pinged.

Speaker 57 Hands shaking, I picked it up and stared at the message.

Speaker 47 Deliver the package to 12 Maple Avenue.

Speaker 50 Package? What package?

Speaker 70 The doorbell rang, followed by a dull thump on the porch.

Speaker 70 No.

Speaker 69 No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 65 The kitchen swam beneath me.

Speaker 63 Slowly, I forced myself up.

Speaker 47 Then I walked to the door and swung it open.

Speaker 67 At my feet, there was a brown box.

Speaker 46 It It wasn't that small, about a foot on the side.

Speaker 43 Heart pounding in my chest, I reached down and picked it up.

Speaker 41 It was heavier than I expected, but not exceedingly so.

Speaker 42 Taking deep breaths, I started back inside.

Speaker 42 I stopped.

Speaker 39 There was a pool of dark liquid where the box had just been.

Speaker 65 I lifted the box up and saw in the center, the cardboard was wet,

Speaker 80 soggy stained dark red

Speaker 67 I dropped the box and screamed

Speaker 77 it made a wet swack on my front porch I leapt inside and slammed the door

Speaker 65 my phone on the kitchen table the screen lit up with a message slowly walked towards it the pain building in my chest

Speaker 50 deliver the package lynn

Speaker 62 I texted back, my fingers flying over the screen.

Speaker 67 Fuck off, you're sick.

Speaker 60 I'm calling the police.

Speaker 62 The reply came back almost instantly.

Speaker 50 You'll be dead before you get the chance.

Speaker 69 I whipped around, and then I saw it.

Speaker 47 On the other side of the street, a black sedan with dark windows idled by the curb.

Speaker 81 My throat went dry.

Speaker 53 If they were holding a gun, they'd have have a straight shot at my head.

Speaker 77 I ran into the living room and ducked behind the couch.

Speaker 71 No one could possibly see me through any windows.

Speaker 55 Hands shaking. I raised my thumb over the dial button.

Speaker 50 We have a second car at JCP Elementary.

Speaker 72 It's recess. All I have to do is give the word.

Speaker 63 My throat went dry. All the air was sucked out of my lungs.
I couldn't breathe.

Speaker 53 Please, I typed back.

Speaker 63 Please just leave us alone.

Speaker 76 The reply popped up.

Speaker 50 I will, if you deliver the package. This is your final task.

Speaker 76 I got up, slowly walked into the kitchen.

Speaker 47 Through the window, I could see the brown box, skew on the steps.

Speaker 64 The wet, darkened stain.

Speaker 65 And please don't drop it again.

Speaker 63 It's fragile.

Speaker 77 Shaking, I made my way back to the door.

Speaker 39 I picked up the box.

Speaker 65 Something thunked against the side as I rotated it in my hands.

Speaker 65 I swallowed and tried not to imagine what was inside.

Speaker 57 I stiffly walked to the car,

Speaker 20 put the box into the passenger seat.

Speaker 64 Then I got in the driver's seat and stared out the windshield.

Speaker 39 I can't do this.

Speaker 39 But when I glanced in the rearview mirror, I saw the black car idling at the curb, watching me.

Speaker 38 As I drove, I couldn't stop glancing at the box.

Speaker 43 At the dark red seeping into the gray cloth of the passenger seat.

Speaker 55 Deep down, I think I knew what was in the box.

Speaker 46 But that didn't stop me from pulling over to the side of the road just outside of town and taking a peek.

Speaker 77 My hands shook as I pulled off the tape.

Speaker 53 As soon as the seal was broken, a horrible smell filled the car.

Speaker 53 Gasping, I grabbed the flap and quickly pulled it up

Speaker 38 and immediately vomited.

Speaker 80 It was

Speaker 39 a head.

Speaker 53 The head of an adult man.

Speaker 70 I grabbed the flaps and pushed them shut.

Speaker 53 Grabbed the tape off the floor and quickly sealed the box again.

Speaker 46 Rolled the windows down to get rid of the smell.

Speaker 65 Gasped in gulps of fresh air.

Speaker 63 Because in the quick flash, I'd seen the face looked familiar.

Speaker 70 It looked like the man I'd taken a photo of in the black coat.

Speaker 52 I hit the gas and sped through town until I was turning into Oak Grove, the community of McMansions built several years back.

Speaker 48 I passed brick archways, white columns, sprawling lawns of green.

Speaker 52 I frantically looked for the number 12, and then I found it.

Speaker 51 The house was grand, sitting on top of a hill.

Speaker 64 White columns stretched up to the sky, and a large window reflected the clear blue sky.

Speaker 76 I pulled up to the curb and grabbed the box.

Speaker 71 Then I burst out and ran up to the front door.

Speaker 46 I could hear the thump, thump, thump of the head rattling inside with each step.

Speaker 63 A wave of nausea hit me, but I forced myself to concentrate on my steps.

Speaker 39 Almost there. Almost.

Speaker 63 As soon as my feet hit the porch, I dropped the box and got the hell out.

Speaker 60 When I was halfway down the hill, I heard the door creak open behind me.

Speaker 45 Then a pause, and then a woman's scream.

Speaker 43 I kept running, dove into the car, hit the gas, and peeled down the road.

Speaker 45 When I was finally back in my house, every door locked and sealed, I sent off a final text.

Speaker 71 I delivered the box.

Speaker 64 Our transactions are over.

Speaker 65 Never contact me again.

Speaker 14 I stared at the screen, my eyes watering.

Speaker 63 And then three little dots popped up.

Speaker 43 You weren't supposed to open the box, Lynn.

Speaker 65 The phone slipped out of my hands and then I began to sob.

Speaker 55 My entire body shook as I imagined what horrible things this person would ask me to do next.

Speaker 60 Knowing that I was powerless, that they knew where I lived, where my kids went to school.

Speaker 39 But it's been a month now.

Speaker 53 And I haven't heard anything.

Speaker 55 I've been watching the news closely.

Speaker 13 I learned the man who died was a local businessman.

Speaker 51 A corrupt one who'd embezzled quite a bit of money.

Speaker 47 He had so many enemies the police didn't even know where to start.

Speaker 46 They never traced anything back to me, or presumably the person who'd been texting me.

Speaker 65 Then last night happened.

Speaker 41 There'd been a break in the case, according to the news broadcast.

Speaker 48 A break that police were confident would lead them to the killer and any accomplices.

Speaker 45 They found the murder weapon buried in some muck in the water next to the pier.

Speaker 2 The No Sleep Podcast is brought to you by Progressive Insurance.

Speaker 5 Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians.

Speaker 9 These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds.

Speaker 4 Because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home, and more.

Speaker 12 Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it, so your dollar goes a long way.

Speaker 16 Visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance.

Speaker 17 Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates.

Speaker 18 Potential savings will vary, not available in all states or situations.

Speaker 25 What does Zin really give you?

Speaker 34 Not just hands-free nicotine satisfaction, but also real freedom.

Speaker 30 Freedom to do more of what you love, when and where you want to do it.

Speaker 26 When is the right time for Zen?

Speaker 32 It's any time you need to be ready for every chance that's coming your way.

Speaker 33 Smoke-free, hassle-free, on your terms.

Speaker 30 Why bring Zen along for the ride?

Speaker 34 Because America's number one nicotine pouch opens up something just as exciting as the road ahead.

Speaker 26 It opens up the endless possibilities of now.

Speaker 27 From the way you spend your day to the people you choose to spend it with.

Speaker 30 From the to-do list right in front of you to the distant goal only you can see.

Speaker 35 With Zen, you don't just find freedom, you keep finding it again and again.

Speaker 30 Find your Zen.

Speaker 36 Learn more at Zen.com.

Speaker 28 Warning. This product contains nicotine.

Speaker 12 Nicotine is an addictive chemical.

Speaker 8 Not many of us can actually relate to the nightmares of ghosts and demons.

Speaker 24 But when it comes to real-world nightmares, far too many people can relate to the horror of being in a horrific car accident.

Speaker 23 Even worse, not everyone in your car survived it.

Speaker 2 But in this tale, shared with us by author Adrienne de Leon, a couple have been in a violent wreck with their baby.

Speaker 3 The couple survived, and it appears so did their child.

Speaker 24 Performing this tale are Graham Rowett and Lindsay Russo.

Speaker 7 So take care on the roads around Santa Cruz, especially if you're on the 17.

Speaker 35 When I woke, one of us was crying, but I don't remember which.

Speaker 35 Lying next to each other in bed, One would flinch whenever the other got close.

Speaker 35 One room over, there's an infant crying, and one of us gets up without saying a word to lull the child back to sleep. We haven't spoken in some months.

Speaker 35 Since shortly after we visited the in-laws, really.

Speaker 35 An old house on the outskirts of Santa Cruz. We took Highway 17.

Speaker 35 Sharp, hard turns. The traffic never seems to want to slow down unless there's an accident.
It feels as if you're either gliding downhill with the wind on your back or trudging an incline in the rain.

Speaker 35 One of us was driving, and the other was dozing off in the passenger seat. We were driving out to introduce our newborn to the in-laws.
You've never seen a more gorgeous child than our baby Rosie.

Speaker 35 I was never even particularly fond of babies. Always liked children, but babies were just loud, sticky things.

Speaker 37 Not Rosie.

Speaker 35 She made eye contact with you and really smiled at you. And I know they all say they don't socially smile until later.
But Rosie really looked right at you and reminded you what the sun feels like.

Speaker 35 One of us had always told the other,

Speaker 74 Don't take the 17, Mark. I hate the 17.
Just go around.

Speaker 35 And the other had said,

Speaker 35 It's late, and I don't want to be driving all night. You'll feel better if we get there quicker.
One of us returns from the other room. The baby isn't crying anymore.
Neither of us go back to sleep.

Speaker 35 The morning sun has that hazy blue dawn light, and it's beaming in through the window by our beds. Birds are singing.
It's beautiful out. Neither of us say anything to each other.

Speaker 40 Not anymore.

Speaker 35 That night when we were driving, one of us had said to the other,

Speaker 74 Careful, careful, careful. Honey, we're going to be a statistic if you keep driving like this.
Slow down, you're speeding.

Speaker 35 The other said,

Speaker 35 I'm only going 60.

Speaker 67 The speed limit is 50.

Speaker 35 We're in California. If you're not going 15 over the speed limit, then you're slowing down the rest of traffic.
Babe, look at all these cars passing us.

Speaker 74 I don't give a shit what the other cars are doing. If the speed limit is 50, then just drive 50.

Speaker 35 Evie, do you want to get there or not? Because I read that slow drivers cause accidents more often than fast drivers.

Speaker 74 You are so making that up.

Speaker 35 There really was no better relief than when we finally pulled into the driveway. They'd always always wanted to be grandparents, and for years we didn't think having children would be possible.

Speaker 35 It made Rosie's smile seem even brighter. We finally got pregnant after we had just given up as well.
It was funny how it worked that way.

Speaker 35 Without knowing it, Rosie was the shining beacon of years of sitting by the sink staring at a pregnancy test, dozens of doctors' visits.

Speaker 35 Months of us feeling like there was something wrong with us, and like we could never be truly whole.

Speaker 35 It wasn't until 11 at night that we finally left Santa Cruz that day. A couple months later, guilt had gnawed its way and burrowed through a painful hole in the chest.

Speaker 35 We were sitting in that same hazy blue light of an early morning, laughing, squeezing past in our small kitchen. Our hands grazed each other's skin at every opportunity.

Speaker 35 At the time, we had just returned home from Rosie's pediatrician. A clean bill of health for a smiling baby.

Speaker 35 Until the doctor turned to us both and said, Rosie is much smaller than we'd like for her age. The doctor assured us that babies grow at different rates, but it's something to look out for.

Speaker 35 There didn't seem to be anything wrong internally after the accident, but they told us to watch her eating and to make sure she stays warm. Later, we were home and the baby was sleeping.

Speaker 35 One of us looked up and smiled.

Speaker 74 I'm so happy.

Speaker 67 It's such a miracle Rosie wasn't hurt in that accident.

Speaker 35 The other stopped moving. The hands we were holding were let go.

Speaker 35 Evie,

Speaker 40 I have to tell you something.

Speaker 35 That's not our Rosie.

Speaker 74 What do you mean, that's not our Rosie? I mean...

Speaker 74 Rosie isn't in our crib right now.

Speaker 74 Well,

Speaker 35 that's Rosie now, but it isn't Our Rosie.

Speaker 35 I don't remember which one of us was driving when we went home. It was late, and sometimes when you're driving late at night, you can feel yourself losing focus.

Speaker 35 It's like your vision blurs the road. Things get out of center and far away, and then your vision gets jolted back to normal by the harsh purring from the shoulder of the highway.

Speaker 35 One of us had drifted to the fast lane slightly. The car in that lane had swerved and bumped the center divider.

Speaker 37 The blaring horn had woken everyone in the car up.

Speaker 35 The car swerved back into their lane, and one of us over-corrected, and the car had completely lost control. It spun a couple times.

Speaker 35 Our car was completely turned when the car behind us rammed into the passenger side door. There was a long moment of shock after the car had finally stopped skidding on the road.

Speaker 35 It was maybe only 30 seconds, but 30 seconds can be forever sometimes. When you don't hear crying.
And you think to yourself, there should be crying.

Speaker 37 Why isn't there crying?

Speaker 35 One of us was unconscious in the passenger seat with blood coming from somewhere on their head. There was too much blood to tell where from.

Speaker 35 And Rosie, her head wasn't perked up, looking curiously at her surroundings. It was slack.
When the one who was still conscious got out of the car, the first thought was to scream and ask for help.

Speaker 35 It's our daughter. She isn't crying.

Speaker 38 Please.

Speaker 35 Then one of us called 911, screaming into the phone, and a heavy weight bounded the knees to the pavement. The operator assured that help was almost there.

Speaker 35 It was not.

Speaker 35 After a while, one of us stopped screaming.

Speaker 37 But I don't remember which.

Speaker 35 The other driver had broken through their windshield. The skin tone on their face was unrecognizable under all the blood, and their eyes looked like blisters covered with tiny shards of glass.

Speaker 35 You can't really explain what your body does when you're in that kind of shock.

Speaker 37 That trauma.

Speaker 35 Your body becomes a foreign object. Your hands become foreign tools.
And when those tools pick up a dead woman's live and healthy baby as your own, you don't recognize yourself anymore.

Speaker 35 One of us picked up the baby from the other car. The other was still passed out in the passenger seat.
The other infant was delicately placed in the back seat, wailing and screaming and kicking.

Speaker 35 Rosie was ever so silent and well-behaved. She put up no fuss when her small body, growing more and more rigid, was placed in the other car's car seat.

Speaker 35 The other infant was buckled into the car seat in our car. When When the ambulances arrived, one of us was surrounded by men saying, Sir, we'll take over from here.
And, ma'am, are you okay?

Speaker 35 Ma'am, you've been in an accident. Do you know where you are?

Speaker 35 To the other.

Speaker 35 When the one telling the story had finished, hands shaking and a burning sensation under the eyelids threatening a wave of tears, the one listening stared.

Speaker 80 Horrified.

Speaker 74 That's not funny, Mark.

Speaker 35 But the one who told let the story linger a while longer.

Speaker 74 Stop, seriously. That isn't funny.

Speaker 37 And then it got worse.

Speaker 82 Mark, what the fuck is wrong with you? What the fuck is the fucking Mark? Stop.

Speaker 14 Mark, say you didn't do that.

Speaker 74 Mark, I'm fucking serious right now. I'm not playing this game with you.

Speaker 82 We were having a good day, and I'm not joking around.

Speaker 74 Just tell me that isn't what happened. Mark, what the fuck?

Speaker 35 Hours of incomprehensible screaming and shaking the one who told by their shoulders.

Speaker 35 Spit flying out from their mouth, a raw and burning throat, and then a wailing sob that lasted the night until the morning sun reminded us both of a world that was continuing to exist, while ours stopped.

Speaker 35 The one who told, thinking,

Speaker 37 I didn't have to tell.

Speaker 35 Why did I tell? I could have kept this up. And now look at her.
Look at the pain I've brought her. But I had to tell her.
And she'll learn to love the baby. Hell, she's already been loving that baby.

Speaker 35 One of us had no idea that what was worst of it all was that the other had been loving the infant. And hadn't even noticed a difference.
Shouldn't a mother know when it isn't her baby?

Speaker 80 What was wrong with her?

Speaker 35 Doesn't a mother always know? Months of dressing and changing diapers and having joyful, engulfing laughter with a baby so full of life?

Speaker 32 And it wasn't our baby.

Speaker 35 What kind of a mother can't tell the difference between her own and another?

Speaker 35 Ever since being told, the infant had been put to bed on its stomach. One of us had read that doctors think Sid's was less likely if the baby slept on its back.

Speaker 35 One of us having prayed for an accident. The other had no idea, thinking dreamily that the other would get used to it.

Speaker 35 The silence between us wasn't broken from that day until this morning, when one of us, shaking and crying, had finally said,

Speaker 67 Where is she?

Speaker 35 Didn't you just go check on her?

Speaker 74 No, I mean Rosie.

Speaker 35 Oh. Do you even know?

Speaker 24 Yeah.

Speaker 35 She was buried with the mother. A pain.

Speaker 35 So sharp and piercing, had found the heart.

Speaker 79 And it rotted.

Speaker 35 The one who heard swore they could smell their own heart festering inside their own chest. Swear they could feel the maggots wriggling and feeding on the death and the bleeding.

Speaker 35 In a strange way, that pain and the parasites feeding on the heart. One of us felt it was the closest thing they had to Rosie.

Speaker 35 The pain that her absence left. One of us got up without saying a word and decided decided to shower.

Speaker 35 The other waited for the sound of the water spraying from the bed and then decided to go to the kitchen and get a knife.

Speaker 35 The knife bounced reflections from the early morning light above the infant for a long time, thinking.

Speaker 35 The infant smiles and waves its hand, staring at the light on the ceiling. The infant doesn't know that someone else is sleeping peacefully with its mother.
It didn't ask for this.

Speaker 35 No child child ever really asks for anything, one of us thinks.

Speaker 35 Every child in the world is unknowingly born into a trauma they will have no control over. When one of us gets out of the bathroom, the other plunges the knife into their stomach.

Speaker 35 Blood mixes with the water on their abdomen, following trails down their legs and pooling on the carpet.

Speaker 35 Then they fall into their own pool of blood without having a word to say about it. No arguments, just acceptance.

Speaker 35 It's comforting that way to the other, that even if it wasn't expected, maybe it wasn't surprising. And if it wasn't surprising, that must mean it was warranted.

Speaker 35 They leave the baby in the crib, smiling and laughing, full of life and potential.

Speaker 35 When the sun has finally risen over the horizon, and light fills the house no differently than it has every single other day. The morning traffic begins outside, and the world keeps on living.

Speaker 35 One of us is dying, and the other is leaving.

Speaker 38 But I don't remember which.

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Speaker 23 You know, as an actor, I can relate to the thrill and challenge of auditioning.

Speaker 1 And if you're trying to get cast in a new play with lots of improv, well, that can add to the thrill.

Speaker 23 But in this tale, shared with us by author Andrew Osborne, we meet Jenny.

Speaker 1 Her audition will push her in ways that make things feel more like fact than fiction.

Speaker 23 Performing this tale are Sarah Thomas and Mike Delgadio.

Speaker 23 So learn your lines, but if you really want to inhabit your character, you'll want to learn all about improvisation.

Speaker 23 Hi, I'm... uh

Speaker 74 here for the audition.

Speaker 21 Hi, how buzz you in? Sweet 103.

Speaker 35 I'm afraid our Wi-Fi's out, but we've got the actual paper and some ink magazines to enjoy while you wait, and I'll be with you in just a minute.

Speaker 83 Okay, uh, yeah, thanks.

Speaker 83 101,

Speaker 83 102,

Speaker 83 103.

Speaker 74 Mr. Arbus

Speaker 74 Hi, I'm

Speaker 83 hello

Speaker 84 pretty disheartening, isn't it?

Speaker 84 Excuse me,

Speaker 24 Vogue.

Speaker 85 We keep it around to remind ourselves how oh curant we are.

Speaker 89 But I always get very depressed when I flip through it.

Speaker 86 So much surface, so little reality.

Speaker 91 And all the damn ads.

Speaker 49 Yeah.

Speaker 85 I sometimes wonder who they're for.

Speaker 89 I mean, there are products, but you can't just buy what they're selling, if you know what I mean.

Speaker 91 So you're Jenny, right?

Speaker 74 Yes, hi, and you're Mr. Arbus?

Speaker 88 Oh, no, no, no.

Speaker 9 I'm Jack Cage.

Speaker 86 Mr. Arbus isn't here right now.

Speaker 94 I'll be conducting the audition for him.

Speaker 81 How are you at Cold Readings?

Speaker 74 Well, I try.

Speaker 93 Good enough.

Speaker 90 Okay, so today you'll be reading the part of Jenny.

Speaker 74 Jenny?

Speaker 39 Hey,

Speaker 74 sounds like I'm made for the part.

Speaker 38 Sure.

Speaker 56 That's a good sign.

Speaker 74 Uh, is there anything I should know about her or

Speaker 94 no, no, just start right at the top of the first page, and I'll read the other lines.

Speaker 49 Okay.

Speaker 49 So, um...

Speaker 49 Hello?

Speaker 74 And, uh, should I follow the stage directions or?

Speaker 94 Yeah, just uh go ahead and pick up the magazine.

Speaker 49 Uh good.

Speaker 95 Okay, and uh thumb through it.

Speaker 39 Right.

Speaker 96 It's pretty disheartening, isn't it?

Speaker 96 Ex

Speaker 74 excuse me?

Speaker 24 Vogue.

Speaker 85 We keep it around to remind ourselves how oh curant we are, but I always get very depressed when I flip through it.

Speaker 94 So much surface, so little

Speaker 81 reality.

Speaker 81 And all the damn ads.

Speaker 74 I sometimes wonder who they're for.

Speaker 74 I mean,

Speaker 39 there are products.

Speaker 74 But you can't just.

Speaker 74 I'm sorry, but uh.

Speaker 56 What's going on?

Speaker 81 You have done cold readings before, haven't you?

Speaker 74 Yeah, of course, but that's not.

Speaker 39 Is there a problem?

Speaker 93 Oh, come on.

Speaker 74 You're going to pretend I shouldn't find something strange about reading a script featuring me and the man who's supposed to be auditioning me? Is this some weird theater game?

Speaker 74 I don't mind that kind of thing, you know. I've played gelatin before, raspberry, but I don't like head games.
Now tell me, are you Mr. Arbus?

Speaker 96 No, I told you, I'm Jack Cage.

Speaker 81 I'm the writer.

Speaker 56 And believe it or not, you're holding the actual script for the actual production you're auditioning for.

Speaker 74 And the two characters are

Speaker 85 named Jenny and Mr.

Speaker 84 Arbis.

Speaker 79 Yes.

Speaker 68 Well,

Speaker 74 you don't expect me to think that's a wild coincidence, do you?

Speaker 94 I'm a writer, which by definition means I generally need money.

Speaker 61 I have an especially hard time because I don't write things that are

Speaker 95 commercial, let's say.

Speaker 61 Mr. Arbis is this.

Speaker 84 Well, I would say crazy, but he's rich, so that makes him eccentric.

Speaker 81 Where was I?

Speaker 89 Oh, yeah, so I joined up with him a few years ago because he thought he could use me, and

Speaker 85 I needed a patron.

Speaker 94 Well, the upshot is he recently commissioned me to write a play in which he's the main character.

Speaker 61 The Jenny thing, it really is a coincidence, though.

Speaker 81 Believe me.

Speaker 74 Mr. Arbus must have an incredible ego.

Speaker 23 Beyond belief.

Speaker 98 Would you continue, please, from where you were?

Speaker 97 All right.

Speaker 74 I'm sorry. I.

Speaker 74 Anyway,

Speaker 74 I mean, there are products, but you can't just buy what they're selling, if you know what I mean.

Speaker 94 I know exactly what you mean.

Speaker 81 So you're Jenny, right?

Speaker 74 Yes, hi. Are you Mr.
Arbus?

Speaker 39 Yes.

Speaker 97 Please, though, call me Jack.

Speaker 49 Okay,

Speaker 74 I need work, but I'm not gonna put up with crap like this.

Speaker 81 I'm sorry?

Speaker 74 Oh, don't give me that, Jack. Are you Schizo? I mean, I'm very open-minded, but I will not put up with mind games.
So, what is your real name, Arbus or Cage?

Speaker 9 My name is Jack Cage.

Speaker 39 I Here, wait, here.

Speaker 96 Here's my license.

Speaker 61 See?

Speaker 96 Jack Cage.

Speaker 94 I wrote the production, and I'm assisting Mr.

Speaker 103 Arbis.

Speaker 74 Jack Arbis?

Speaker 96 Yes, Jack Arbis.

Speaker 94 It's a very common first name, like John, Steve, Mike, and Gustav.

Speaker 94 The production we're doing will run eight weeks.

Speaker 104 With a weekly paycheck of $2,000, it's a little avant-garde, yes.

Speaker 56 So if you don't feel comfortable with that, I can call the girl I've got scheduled for six to come early and give myself an early evening.

Speaker 74 I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Speaker 74 I'm just.

Speaker 68 I'm sorry.

Speaker 74 Where should I take it from?

Speaker 88 Are you?

Speaker 74 Are you, Mr. Arbus?

Speaker 86 Yes, please, though. Call me Jack.

Speaker 97 Okay.

Speaker 74 I have a good friend named Jack.

Speaker 39 Oh, yeah?

Speaker 11 Well, it's a fairly common name, like John or Steve or Mike.

Speaker 74 Or Gustav.

Speaker 56 Yeah, or Gustav.

Speaker 79 Um,

Speaker 93 do you want a drink?

Speaker 74 I'd love one. You wouldn't believe the time I had getting here.
The roads were all backed up. I think it was a broken sewer main or something, because there was this unbelievable stench.

Speaker 74 And oh, I shouldn't ramble on.

Speaker 74 Do you have something you want me to read? I have a monologue prepared.

Speaker 84 Nah, I don't want to see you as anyone else yet.

Speaker 92 Just be yourself for now.

Speaker 74 That's the one I always have trouble with. No,

Speaker 74 just kidding.

Speaker 75 Um,

Speaker 74 it says here, I drink.

Speaker 68 No, no,

Speaker 97 see, I don't drink.

Speaker 93 Well, then just pretend.

Speaker 89 So, tell me about yourself.

Speaker 84 Do you get away from the city much?

Speaker 84 Uh.

Speaker 74 My next line is blank.

Speaker 84 Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 86 At certain points in the script, I want you to improvise.

Speaker 80 Just go with it.

Speaker 84 So, do you get away from the city much?

Speaker 68 Well, um,

Speaker 74 I try not to. I was born and raised in the suburbs, but once my father left, I moved into the city and I've been here ever since.

Speaker 74 I can't sleep anymore unless there's sirens and honking and people shouting in 40 different languages and lights from skyscrapers everywhere. That's weird, isn't it?

Speaker 3 Not for a city girl.

Speaker 81 So, um...

Speaker 86 Why did your father leave?

Speaker 89 If it's not too personal?

Speaker 74 No, I don't mind talking about it. It was more educational than traumatic.
He was a real hippie, you know? I was brought up with all this incredible music in the house.

Speaker 74 He'd play King Crimson and Jethro Tull, and...

Speaker 74 He liked Jethro Tull a lot. He could play the flute, and sometimes he'd get stoned and sit in the living room and turn off everything except the lava lamp.

Speaker 50 And

Speaker 74 yeah, we were lava lamp people.

Speaker 74 But he'd sit there in the dark with his flute and jam along with Jethro Toll.

Speaker 74 It was really nice.

Speaker 74 I loved him a lot. My friends liked him too, but mostly because he sold them hash and pot and stuff.

Speaker 74 Anyway.

Speaker 74 He couldn't handle living in the suburbs. My mother is the best too, but But she's one of these really earthy people, you know? Loved the family, pillar of the community, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 74 She was in the Methodist Church bell choir, for God's sake.

Speaker 7 How did they meet?

Speaker 74 I guess she was a little wilder back in the day, or she wanted to be, and he seemed like an adventure to her.

Speaker 74 And dad would always say he married mom because he'd never had a really pretty girl be nice to him before.

Speaker 89 I would have liked to have met him.

Speaker 74 Oh, Oh, he's still around. He writes to us all the time.
I mean, he really loved us. He still does.

Speaker 74 He's in a band now, which is great. Last letter I got was from

Speaker 74 Austin, I think. But he moves around a lot.
Anyway, I don't blame him for leaving. You could tell how unhappy he was, trapped in the suburbs, going to see bell choir competitions.

Speaker 86 Did your mother understand?

Speaker 38 Well, no, but,

Speaker 78 well,

Speaker 74 now she does.

Speaker 74 But then,

Speaker 74 like, she wanted to have her cake and eat it too, you know? Like, a domesticated wild animal. It just doesn't happen.
And,

Speaker 38 well,

Speaker 83 it got pretty hairy at the end.

Speaker 74 Some nights were great, but then sometimes you just... felt how tense everything was.
And he'd start snarling instead of talking, and they'd usually end up screaming at each other

Speaker 14 I hated that

Speaker 74 and I knew he hated it

Speaker 79 and mom

Speaker 56 so what finally happened

Speaker 74 one night he hit her and knocked her down he didn't even hurt her or anything but that was it it was just too obvious He looked at us both and it was really quiet and then he just walked out the door.

Speaker 74 A few days later, when mom and me were both out of the house, he picked up some of his stuff. But now everything's cool.
She's seen him a few times since then, and she always comes back glowing.

Speaker 74 It's like they were meant to be together, but not together, you know?

Speaker 80 Yeah.

Speaker 81 Yeah.

Speaker 75 Um,

Speaker 74 is there anything else you want to know?

Speaker 81 No, no, that's perfect.

Speaker 105 Okay,

Speaker 94 we're gonna start in again at the top of page four.

Speaker 39 Oh,

Speaker 74 I think I'm missing a page here, Jack.

Speaker 37 What's that?

Speaker 74 The last line of my script is: you were right before. There is no.

Speaker 74 I think I'm missing a page.

Speaker 94 Oh, sorry. I've got another copy of my briefcase.

Speaker 96 Hang on.

Speaker 99 It's okay, just keep going.

Speaker 49 Uh, Uh, right.

Speaker 49 Okay.

Speaker 74 Why do you want to know all that?

Speaker 84 I like to get some feeling about the people I'm going to be working closely with.

Speaker 74 Well, do I give off good feelings?

Speaker 106 Yes, or else you wouldn't have gotten this far in the audition.

Speaker 14 Oh,

Speaker 74 really?

Speaker 84 Uh, hold on, let's just pause here for a second while I find you a replacement page.

Speaker 81 Hold on.

Speaker 74 Oh, sure.

Speaker 74 Uh, so, like,

Speaker 74 am I the first person to actually, you know, stick around this long?

Speaker 79 What?

Speaker 93 Oh, no.

Speaker 84 Uh, there are two or three others I was seriously considering, although,

Speaker 103 and I don't want to throw you off, but you have a very good shot at this, because because the others were eliminated after this round of the audition.

Speaker 107 And you seem much more right for the part than any of them did.

Speaker 74 And what is the part, Mr. Cage?

Speaker 74 This whole thing is very

Speaker 74 interesting, but I'm not really sure what you're looking for.

Speaker 106 Yeah, don't worry, you're doing fine.

Speaker 74 Yeah, you said that, and I'm glad, but I really would like a little more information about all this before we go on, if you don't mind.

Speaker 58 Well, uh, Mr.

Speaker 86 Arbus will be filling you in on that.

Speaker 94 He should be here any minute. I'm only doing this because he called and said he was running late.

Speaker 89 Actually, he'll have the final say on who gets the part.

Speaker 74 Will I be playing opposite Mr. Arbus?

Speaker 81 That's the plan.

Speaker 74 And I'll pretty much be playing myself, right?

Speaker 81 More or less, yeah.

Speaker 74 And will this production take place in his bedroom, or is there a couch down here I haven't seen yet?

Speaker 79 Excuse me?

Speaker 74 I'm sorry, but I just figured out what's going on here. You don't have a real script.
You won't tell me anything about the production. You ask me about my personal life and give me booze.

Speaker 74 Either you or Mr. Arpis or both of you are pretty hard up.
So what? Do you screen to find good-looking bimbos and then hand them over to Arbus?

Speaker 74 Oh, Mr. Arbus, will you really put me in your show?

Speaker 69 What?

Speaker 74 You want to see my legs?

Speaker 97 Okay.

Speaker 74 My fanny, too?

Speaker 97 Well.

Speaker 97 Okay.

Speaker 78 What?

Speaker 74 Do you get the leftovers?

Speaker 100 Hey.

Speaker 74 I'll admit it's clever, but I ain't no bimbo.

Speaker 95 Jenny, listen.

Speaker 74 Touch me and I'll turn you into a mezzo-soprano.

Speaker 81 Have you eaten dinner yet?

Speaker 74 You're kidding, right?

Speaker 91 I'm sorry, it's just...

Speaker 86 I'm starving. I thought...

Speaker 86 I really thought he'd be here by now.

Speaker 85 I was going to go eat and let him take over, but if you don't mind.

Speaker 74 Well, goodbye, Mr. Cage.
It's been an experience.

Speaker 85 Please, please, Jenny, sit down.

Speaker 94 I owe you an apology, CC.

Speaker 93 This is terrific.

Speaker 58 Have you ever eaten at Yado's?

Speaker 14 No.

Speaker 93 It's great.

Speaker 38 You want some?

Speaker 38 No.

Speaker 81 All right. Okay, look,

Speaker 84 you really do deserve an explanation.

Speaker 85 Arbis and me sometimes forget in the middle of all of our experimental theater crap that we're working with real people.

Speaker 94 Yes, I understand how it must seem to you.

Speaker 81 But I gotta say, as the writer, I have to admit I'm pleased that all this has made you a little edgy.

Speaker 61 I hope it has the same effect on audiences.

Speaker 74 All this?

Speaker 27 The script, the manner in which the audition has been conducted, it all goes along with this movement we're working on.

Speaker 84 Reality theater, we call it.

Speaker 107 We have the actors and the actresses seemingly play themselves.

Speaker 91 So the audience is never sure what's spontaneous and what's planned.

Speaker 61 But of course, it's all planned.

Speaker 89 Of course, you don't have to go on with it if it makes you feel uncomfortable.

Speaker 74 It does, actually.

Speaker 39 But

Speaker 68 well,

Speaker 74 I guess I can walk out the door if you try anything.

Speaker 74 And I'm just warning you now, I know Krav McGaw, so...

Speaker 81 Look, seriously, you don't have to.

Speaker 100 I mean, God, are you always this paranoid?

Speaker 74 I just don't like getting ambushed.

Speaker 58 Well, look, enough of this crap, okay?

Speaker 105 This is a legitimate part.

Speaker 84 I'm not trying to hustle you or get in your pants or whatever you think.

Speaker 61 And if you can't handle that, then I think the audition is over.

Speaker 84 Otherwise, could you please start from where you left off?

Speaker 74 So what happens now, Mr. Arbus?

Speaker 74 It's your line. I thought you had this thing memorized.

Speaker 103 I am so sorry I snapped at you.

Speaker 90 It's been a long week, and I really do think you're right for the part.

Speaker 93 I'd hate to give you a bad impression.

Speaker 74 No, that's okay. I guess I was being

Speaker 74 what?

Speaker 74 Unprofessional?

Speaker 76 But you just never know, you know?

Speaker 93 A woman has to be careful.

Speaker 98 I understand.

Speaker 79 Anyway, oh, do you want one of these egg rolls?

Speaker 39 No.

Speaker 85 I also have some wontons in back.

Speaker 49 No, no.

Speaker 49 Well,

Speaker 83 yeah.

Speaker 37 Okay.

Speaker 74 That sounds good.

Speaker 49 So

Speaker 68 should I start again?

Speaker 91 Yes, please, and you're right.

Speaker 106 I do have the whole thing memorized.

Speaker 74 Yeah, start from so what happens now, Mr. Arbus

Speaker 86 now we have some wantons.

Speaker 74 Do wantons

Speaker 74 wait.

Speaker 78 How did you

Speaker 49 Okay,

Speaker 74 sure.

Speaker 68 So, uh...

Speaker 74 Do wantons have meat in them? I've been vegetarian for about a year now.

Speaker 58 For moral or health reasons?

Speaker 74 Health, I guess.

Speaker 79 Good.

Speaker 89 Because I noticed you were wearing a leather belt.

Speaker 91 I hate moralistic vegetarians who wear leather belts.

Speaker 74 I'm not wearing a belt.

Speaker 79 What?

Speaker 86 I know, but you know, that doesn't really matter for the audition.

Speaker 49 Yeah,

Speaker 74 but I bet you wish I was wearing a leather belt, right?

Speaker 74 I think I'm getting the hang of this now.

Speaker 74 I am a vegetarian, though. Another wild guess, right?

Speaker 86 Okay, take it from well, what's in it?

Speaker 74 Well, what's these are meatless.

Speaker 49 Thanks.

Speaker 106 So, Jenny, you wanted to know more about the project?

Speaker 106 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 107 Well, it's a love story.

Speaker 49 Hmm?

Speaker 89 Yeah, um, of sorts.

Speaker 89 Tell me, Jenny, who was your first love?

Speaker 61 I mean, not just a boyfriend, but who's the first man you loved?

Speaker 61 Ah.

Speaker 74 It's blank again.

Speaker 58 Improvise.

Speaker 88 Yes, please.

Speaker 74 I guess.

Speaker 39 Well,

Speaker 79 no.

Speaker 74 It would have to be Nathan.

Speaker 93 Nathan.

Speaker 88 How old were you?

Speaker 74 Oh, it was my junior year in high school. He was older, and he really knew all the ways to sweep me off my feet.
He knew just what to say, what to do, and he had the most incredible butt.

Speaker 79 Uh, but anyway,

Speaker 74 so yeah.

Speaker 49 Uh,

Speaker 74 what else do you want to know?

Speaker 88 You've been in love,

Speaker 91 and I suppose you've been lonely.

Speaker 88 Bottom of nine.

Speaker 74 Yeah, of course.

Speaker 74 Everybody has.

Speaker 81 No, no, no, no.

Speaker 90 I don't mean between lovers.

Speaker 79 I'm talking about feeling like you don't belong on the planet lonely.

Speaker 84 Like you might as well be from an extinct species.

Speaker 83 Yeah,

Speaker 74 I know the feeling.

Speaker 81 And what do you do about it?

Speaker 74 I have a few drinks. I see a good movie.
Anything until the feeling goes away.

Speaker 79 But

Speaker 81 what about when it doesn't go away?

Speaker 105 When it starts to ache?

Speaker 74 I guess...

Speaker 78 Well,

Speaker 74 everybody, you know,

Speaker 74 you just have faith that...

Speaker 74 Well, things go in cycles, right?

Speaker 74 You're lonely, but eventually, you know, in time, it passes. You've just got to like yourself and hope.
I mean, everybody.

Speaker 56 Everybody?

Speaker 93 I'm not talking about everybody.

Speaker 91 Maybe I should have been more specific.

Speaker 93 I'm not talking about everybody. I'm talking about me.
So don't give me that advice that everybody could take, okay?

Speaker 111 You've just gotta like yourself.

Speaker 93 You gotta have hard

Speaker 79 God.

Speaker 93 How frigging trite.

Speaker 100 I expected a little more from you, Jenny.

Speaker 58 You're really disappointing me here.

Speaker 97 Hey.

Speaker 91 Let me tell you a little about myself, Jenny.

Speaker 81 Maybe that would help.

Speaker 101 I'm probably the richest guy you know.

Speaker 110 I started out with more than most people end with, and I kept going from there.

Speaker 101 I've never failed, not with money, not with my career, not with women, certainly not with women.

Speaker 26 You know, I was the second one in my graduating class at Milton Academy to French kiss.

Speaker 110 And the first to go all the way. I beat out the whole varsity football team.

Speaker 26 I'm excellent at that game.

Speaker 110 I'd get women even without being rich.

Speaker 100 And that's the truth.

Speaker 35 But it just

Speaker 84 doesn't. Do it, you know?

Speaker 94 I wake up in the mornings and I say, I still don't have the first first idea what all the frigging songs and movies are about.

Speaker 102 I still don't have the first idea what's filling up all those people who are everywhere, sighing and drooling at each other, saying, I love you.

Speaker 102 I love you so much. I couldn't live without you.

Speaker 91 My whole life, I can't think of a single person who couldn't live without me.

Speaker 81 So

Speaker 94 I pretend it doesn't matter and keep

Speaker 81 But I've gone as far as I can go.

Speaker 93 So, then what do you do, huh?

Speaker 74 I don't know.

Speaker 93 Of course, you do.

Speaker 102 You drink!

Speaker 38 I drink

Speaker 38 a a lot.

Speaker 74 Wait, is this a method thing, or I mean, I don't think you should.

Speaker 93 I howl at the moon.

Speaker 61 I give myself little projects to keep myself busy, but it just

Speaker 87 doesn't do it.

Speaker 105 I just keep getting hollower and hollower.

Speaker 109 It doesn't go away.

Speaker 93 It's like I don't exist.

Speaker 79 Like I'm a fucking ghost.

Speaker 74 Oh my god, are you bleeding?

Speaker 81 It wasn't a real bottle.

Speaker 49 Keep going. I'm fine.
No!

Speaker 49 Oh my god!

Speaker 74 You really slashed your hand.

Speaker 74 You're bleeding everywhere.

Speaker 93 Read the goddamn script!

Speaker 49 No!

Speaker 49 I can't take any more of this!

Speaker 74 It's too strange. I don't want the part.
I'm not who you're looking for. I can't do it.

Speaker 39 Well,

Speaker 85 okay then.

Speaker 79 Maybe you're right.

Speaker 84 I was expecting a much more professional attitude from you after reading your resume, but no, I think you're right.

Speaker 107 You should probably stick to conventional theater.

Speaker 106 I'm sure you can find work in a road company of Oklahoma somewhere or other.

Speaker 78 No!

Speaker 78 Wait, I...

Speaker 97 I'm sorry.

Speaker 74 Where should I take it from?

Speaker 86 Top of 13.

Speaker 91 Oh my god, are you bleeding?

Speaker 74 Oh my god, are you bleeding?

Speaker 80 No, I'm fine.

Speaker 86 That was stupid.

Speaker 103 I'm sorry.

Speaker 74 You're.

Speaker 74 You're all right?

Speaker 81 Couldn't be better.

Speaker 81 Is

Speaker 81 uh

Speaker 74 is the audition over?

Speaker 74 Or do you want me to come back later?

Speaker 79 No, no, no, no, no, we're almost done.

Speaker 61 I always make a fool of myself when I drink too much. It's um

Speaker 86 it's very unprofessional of me.

Speaker 103 I'm sorry.

Speaker 74 But are you?

Speaker 74 I mean, what you said?

Speaker 79 No, it uh wasn't an act.

Speaker 86 I've never.

Speaker 108 I've never in my life

Speaker 86 been in love, and I.

Speaker 40 I never will.

Speaker 74 But why?

Speaker 81 I've always been an observer.

Speaker 61 An outsider.

Speaker 85 I try to plan things and predict how they'll come out.

Speaker 103 I'm very bad at improvisation.

Speaker 103 I'm bad at anything spontaneous.

Speaker 100 Anything I can't control.

Speaker 88 And that's love, right?

Speaker 109 It sneaks up on you.

Speaker 79 Well,

Speaker 86 nothing ever sneaks up on me.

Speaker 68 So,

Speaker 74 what does this have to do with me?

Speaker 81 Don't worry.

Speaker 68 I'm not looking for a prostitute.

Speaker 109 It's an acting job.

Speaker 79 That's all.

Speaker 74 And?

Speaker 85 And if you pass the audition, you'll enter into an eight-week run with a $2,000 paycheck at the end of each week.

Speaker 58 You'll work from 9 to 4 and 7 to 9 each day.

Speaker 107 Each night, you'll receive a script that will cover the hours we'll be together the following day.

Speaker 89 There will be no sex scenes.

Speaker 103 The worst you'll have to put up with are a few stage kisses.

Speaker 105 Nothing you haven't run into in other shows.

Speaker 74 Wait a minute. Let me get this straight.
This audition is for the part of your girlfriend in a phony relationship with every line written by you.

Speaker 81 I told you, it was avant-garde.

Speaker 91 Look, our first scene will take place on a subway. You'll be reading the movie listings in the paper, and I'll ask you for the time of the first show at a local art house.

Speaker 103 We'll enter into a spirited discussion of the director's work.

Speaker 89 It's a really charming scene.

Speaker 94 In the next scene, we go to the movie and realize we've got a strong interest in one another, and so on and so on for eight weeks.

Speaker 85 We fight, we make up.

Speaker 86 And in the last scene, you leave for a great job in Europe because you can't give up your career to accept the marriage proposal I make to you.

Speaker 61 But we part as friends and go on with our lives, and your contract expires.

Speaker 80 So,

Speaker 81 there you are.

Speaker 91 What do you think?

Speaker 97 I think

Speaker 74 you're nuts.

Speaker 79 That's all.

Speaker 98 Nuts.

Speaker 94 If you were describing me to friends, the only word you'd use would be nuts.

Speaker 86 Well, that's depressing.

Speaker 74 You want to know what's depressing? You're depressing. This is the most pathetic thing I've ever heard of.
I can't believe you're serious about this.

Speaker 100 I am.

Speaker 74 But

Speaker 74 why?

Speaker 74 What's the point?

Speaker 74 What sort of satisfaction could you possibly get out of this?

Speaker 98 I have my reasons for doing it.

Speaker 74 What?

Speaker 74 It's ridiculous.

Speaker 74 You'd always know it was an enormous lie. I don't see how either of us could keep a straight face through any of it.

Speaker 110 I wouldn't have any problem, and I'm prepared to pay a fair amount of money to the actress who can take it seriously.

Speaker 35 Make it seem.

Speaker 100 real.

Speaker 97 I don't know.

Speaker 74 It's.

Speaker 84 Look, do you remember the guy who surrounded those little islands in Florida with bright pink plastic and called it art?

Speaker 61 I read something once about a man who paid thousands of dollars to own the idea for a work of art.

Speaker 94 10,000 lines three inches long.

Speaker 91 That was the idea.

Speaker 92 Now, those guys were crazy.

Speaker 26 I'm just eccentric.

Speaker 107 Like I said, just think of it as avant-garde theater.

Speaker 74 But what is it, really?

Speaker 74 Oh,

Speaker 93 I love this one.

Speaker 107 I waltzed with Maria Schumacher to this song in seventh grade.

Speaker 61 The first time I was ever that physically close to another person.

Speaker 35 Would you

Speaker 35 care to dance?

Speaker 74 Is this more of the audition?

Speaker 110 In a way?

Speaker 109 Actually, I just feel like dancing.

Speaker 74 Wait, is this a real or for the script?

Speaker 58 Eh, both, I guess.

Speaker 9 I mean, you don't have many lines during the dancing scene.

Speaker 86 So, you could just

Speaker 81 dance some,

Speaker 89 you know,

Speaker 86 if you wanted to.

Speaker 74 Why don't we just take a break from the script altogether? I'll dance, but I want to dance with you, not Mr. Arbis.

Speaker 87 It does all get a little confusing.

Speaker 12 I need to take a reality break myself from time to time.

Speaker 91 It's not so crazy as it seems, and

Speaker 81 I hope you don't think I'm a lunatic.

Speaker 97 Tell me, be straight with me, please.

Speaker 74 I am auditioning for a play, right?

Speaker 74 This

Speaker 74 pre-written romance thing

Speaker 74 That's not true, is it?

Speaker 79 No, uh, no,

Speaker 79 don't worry.

Speaker 58 Look, it's it's almost over.

Speaker 94 I'm pretty sure you've got the part if it's any consolation.

Speaker 90 Just a few more pages.

Speaker 93 But I'm

Speaker 86 warning you, it does get a little stranger.

Speaker 86 Oh.

Speaker 86 Good.

Speaker 89 Keep smiling.

Speaker 61 And I really do hope you don't think I'm insane despite it all.

Speaker 61 No.

Speaker 74 You write some weird stuff, but you seem fairly normal.

Speaker 49 Whatever that means.

Speaker 108 Thanks.

Speaker 103 That's always reassuring to hear.

Speaker 39 Yeah.

Speaker 74 This could be fun.

Speaker 81 Oh, sure.

Speaker 12 Well, we should finish up.

Speaker 61 It's getting late.

Speaker 61 All right.

Speaker 25 I enjoyed the dance.

Speaker 49 Me too.

Speaker 89 Okay, middle of 20.

Speaker 94 We've skipped over the dancing scene where you keep trying to figure out why Mr.

Speaker 85 Arbis is doing it, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 94 Start with you don't think.

Speaker 94 Yep.

Speaker 74 You don't think all this is going to make me fall in love love with you, do you?

Speaker 39 No,

Speaker 58 not at all.

Speaker 86 I'll admit it would be nice, but I've already told you I've given up on expecting to find love.

Speaker 89 No, it's just uh

Speaker 93 diversion.

Speaker 80 I know I'll enjoy it, and well, frankly, you don't really have to.

Speaker 81 So

Speaker 81 that's

Speaker 81 that's all of it.

Speaker 34 What do you say?

Speaker 74 Well, I'll need some time to think about it.

Speaker 98 Totally understandable.

Speaker 39 Oh, um,

Speaker 87 there's um one more thing:

Speaker 61 kiss me.

Speaker 74 I beg your pardon.

Speaker 81 It's the last part of the audition.

Speaker 90 Uh, you've got the part so far, but I can't hire you if you can't deliver a convincing kiss, so so uh

Speaker 40 kiss me.

Speaker 40 Um

Speaker 40 uh

Speaker 40 um

Speaker 40 topic 21.

Speaker 40 So, um,

Speaker 40 do you

Speaker 40 um

Speaker 53 wow, you nearly broke my freaking tooth.

Speaker 53 Sorry,

Speaker 93 You could have just said, let's skip the kissing scene.

Speaker 100 Oh, you didn't have to headbutt me.

Speaker 74 I'm sorry. I really, I really am.

Speaker 99 I'm sure you can kiss.

Speaker 39 Yeah.

Speaker 40 Um.

Speaker 40 Oh, God.

Speaker 18 Let's try again.

Speaker 11 So, I

Speaker 107 guess that means you're interested in taking the part?

Speaker 42 Middle of 21, right?

Speaker 74 Yes, well, I guess you could say I'm considering it.

Speaker 74 Great.

Speaker 88 Great.

Speaker 106 Will we hear from you within the week?

Speaker 74 Yes, definitely. Well, Mr.
Arbus, it's certainly been an experience.

Speaker 81 It certainly has.

Speaker 81 Be seeing you.

Speaker 92 Oh, Jenny.

Speaker 92 Yes?

Speaker 94 You were right before. There is no.

Speaker 86 Oh, sorry.

Speaker 91 You said you were missing this page, right?

Speaker 91 Yeah.

Speaker 61 Okay, this is the home stretch. Here,

Speaker 87 take the page and just keep reading.

Speaker 11 Oh, and wait, one more thing?

Speaker 91 You were right before

Speaker 103 there is no Mr. Arbus.

Speaker 40 Read.

Speaker 40 A gun.

Speaker 79 Oh, come on.

Speaker 24 It's a prop.

Speaker 61 Can't you tell when something's real or not?

Speaker 94 But

Speaker 79 where was I?

Speaker 81 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 109 You guessed it immediately. There is no Mr.

Speaker 92 Arbus,

Speaker 85 except in my mind.

Speaker 89 But I'm no schizo.

Speaker 85 I consciously created him.

Speaker 110 He's the fictional version of myself.

Speaker 91 I can control him. what he says.

Speaker 85 And

Speaker 91 everything I said here as him was true of the real me.

Speaker 35 Do you get it?

Speaker 35 Yes.

Speaker 5 Please, stop shaking.

Speaker 81 Don't give me those wild, terrified eyes.

Speaker 99 Nothing is going to happen

Speaker 24 to you.

Speaker 61 I just wanted someone with me

Speaker 81 before I died. died.

Speaker 81 What?

Speaker 87 Everything I said was true.

Speaker 85 I've never found

Speaker 68 love.

Speaker 56 I never will. I know that.

Speaker 94 I can't stand the loneliness anymore.

Speaker 56 It's corny, I realize, but I have everything I've ever wanted.

Speaker 91 And it's nothing with no one to share it with.

Speaker 79 So,

Speaker 34 that's it.

Speaker 89 Thank you for being with me. There's a check in the briefcase for $2,000 for your time.

Speaker 85 And

Speaker 103 you can explain my reasons to the police.

Speaker 38 You're my living suicide note.

Speaker 38 Goodbye, Jenny.

Speaker 32 It was nice meeting you.

Speaker 32 No!

Speaker 32 Jack, what what do I say?

Speaker 32 That's it.

Speaker 32 The script ends there.

Speaker 32 Right.

Speaker 32 Improvise.

Speaker 32 Our phone lines have been cut. The cell signals are lost.
But we will return to delve into your darkest hang-ups when the calls will be coming from inside your house.

Speaker 32 The No Sleep Podcast is presented by Creative Reason Media. The musical score was composed by Brendan Boone.

Speaker 32 Our production team is Phil Michulski, Jeff Clement, and Jesse Cornett. Our editorial team is Jessica McAvoy and Ashley McInelly.

Speaker 32 To discover how you can get even more sleepless horror stories from us, just visit sleepless.thenosleeppodcast.com to learn about the Sleepless Sanctuary.

Speaker 32 Add-free extended episodes each week and lots of bonus content for for the dark hours, all for one low monthly price.

Speaker 32 On behalf of everyone at the No Sleep Podcast, we thank you for taking our nightmarish calls.

Speaker 32 This audio program is copyright 2024 and 2025 by Creative Reason Media Inc. All rights reserved.
The copyrights for each story are held by the respective authors.

Speaker 32 No duplication or reproduction of this audio program is permitted without without the written consent of Creative Raisin Media Inc.

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