Oprah & Intuitive Laura Day on The Prism: Seven Steps to Heal Your Past & Transform Your Future

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Hi, everybody. It is my pleasure, delight, joy to be with you here on the Oprah podcast.
And I know your time is very precious to you. So my intention and my hope is to have conversations here where you can actually hear something that enhances your life in a meaningful way.
And let me start this episode by asking you to think about this question. You know that little voice inside you, the voice, the one we all have that makes you go, huh, and take a pause.
You may call it a sixth sense or a gut feeling. I call it your life speaking to you.
And I recognize that your life always first speaks to you in whispers. And then when you don't pay attention, it gets louder and louder.
The question is, do you pay attention to that voice to the whispers? Maybe you have a life dream that hasn't come to fruition or a relationship that failed, or if you're still struggling to cope with a painful past, I'm actually excited for you to hear from world-renowned practicing intuitive Laura Day. She uses her unique abilities to help people, some who are really famous, some who are not famous at all, and also billion-dollar companies, make better decisions and achieve their goals through her intuitive skills.
When Laura Day's breakthrough New York Times bestseller, Practical Intuition, hit bookshelves back in 1996, it helped demystify a complex concept and bring it into the mainstream. What I love about intuition is everyone has it and what you have to do is sort it out from the rest of the mess of our human mind.
She has been called the psychic of Wall Street. Laura has spent 40 years using her intuitive abilities to help guide individuals, billion-dollar companies, and celebrities make better decisions to achieve their goals.
When the intuition comes in, it just touches your knowing. Yes, yes, yes.
You don't have to believe it. You don't have to try to make yourself get it.
It's just there. You know it.
Laura's intuitive gifts were born from a dark family history. She and her siblings were largely abandoned by their parents, left to raise themselves.
Laura was also abused, raped, and often starved as a child. Later in life, she lost her mother and then two of her siblings to suicide.
I was 10 or 11. My mother had taken a massive overdose, and it was really the first time my intuition was clear to me.
In her new book, The Prism, Laura shares how her intuitive gifts saved her from the darkness, and she reveals seven steps to heal from the past to create a more meaningful future. And Laura, the exact conversation you're talking about five months ago, I know exactly what you're referring to and helping me find my voice in leadership.

So this has been an entire conversation of ahas and oohs.

It resonates very deeply.

So welcome, Laura.

Thank you.

I am so happy to have you here in our tea house.

This is where I'd normally come to read.

So beautiful.

Yeah, normally there's a sofa there and I come to read, but we bring this all in for the podcast, so it's a really sacred space for me. You know, we first met you all on the Oprah show 30 years ago, and we met with your good friend, Demi Moore.
We're talking with Demi Moore and her good friend, author, Laura Day. And we're talking about intuition

and how you can be more in tune with yours

to make decisions in your life.

Demi is going to be joining us later,

but I just want to first say you worked for decades

on this new book, Prism,

Seven Steps to Heal Your Past and Transform Your Future.

And I really appreciate that word, prism.

And I have to say, it is a remarkable read, y'all,

because it gives you actual tools

Thank you. And I really appreciate that word prism.
And I have to say, it is a remarkable read, y'all, because it gives you actual tools that anybody can use to change or expand their life. So, intention is a principle that rules my life.
What was your intention for writing this book? After the fourth, fifth, sixth suicide happened in my life, my mother, my sisters, my uncle, two of my dearest friends, I really asked myself the question, what allowed me to survive? Brother and sister. Brother and sister, mother, uncle, my two best friends.

And of course, we probably get into this later, but intuition is a double edge.

So I tend to bond with people who are struggling because I feel, when I say I feel your pain, I actually feel your pain.

Yeah.

And I asked myself the question, what allowed me to survive? Now, a lot of people over mystify intuition. They think, oh, it's intuition.
You had the answers. But actually having the answers doesn't make you survive.
Having the data doesn't make you survive. There was something else.
And I realized that as a small child, because of intuition, I had been given a system. And because...
A system of survival. Of survival and thriving, because surviving in pain is not surviving enough pain, and you can't do it anymore.
And I was surrounded by the can't do it anymore. And because I got this system as a small child, intuitively, it didn't really have words.

But after my brother's suicide, but before my sister's, the words came up and they came onto a piece of paper. And this allowed me really to survive my sister's suicide.
And it also gave me the explanation of what it takes for all of us to survive. When I was reading the book Prism, I was thinking, wow, that is a lot of people who committed suicide in your life.
And you write it and it's a sentence and I read it. And those of us who are reading the book, you read it and it's a sentence.
But that is a lot of sorrow, a lot of grief, a lot of pain for you to get through that's capsulated in one sentence. How did you survive it? Well, you know, I think that first of all, I think that the story of life is we do experience these hits.
But some of us... That's a hit and another hit and another hit and another hit.
And you have to at some point say, oh, is this a part of my destiny too? Well, I'm not a believer in destiny. I believe the prism is, the message is you create today, right now, in this moment, you create your destiny.
I didn't really have an ego. And ego gets, you know, ego has a terrible rap.
But ego are all the parts of self that allow you to take that universal energy and take experience and create your life. That's what the prism is.
I didn't have one. So I had to work really hard to develop one, which I really didn't develop until much later in life.
This book is what I was given as kind of a prosthetic ego until I developed one. And it really has the, we're mechanical beings in a mechanical world, and these are the rules.
And those rules really did save my life. So you write, I've been raped, molested, abandoned, beaten, hungry, shamed, criticized, and left alone.
As I was saying, that's a very intense childhood trauma. And you say your intuition is what saved you.
How can you explain? Well, you know, part of what saved me was that my brain was so damaged that I didn't really experience the present. But what I did experience were almost instructions, not instructions that I knew, but guidance that came through me.
So I'm not wise. They didn't become a part of me.
Yeah. They came through me.
So when I was a five-year-old alone in an apartment with three children for really most of the time, I knew. And learning to do diapers at five years old and taking care of your siblings and all of that.
Yes. Which is, you know, isn't unlikely in many communities.
Yes. But I had no model for it.
Yes. And I had no adults, really.
My mother was a manic depressive. You had to, I adored her, but you had to remind her to put clothes on to go out of the house.
My father was a very violent physician, wonderful physician, very violent parent, and they lived next door, no connection. So because- Explain what you mean by next door.
There was a separate apartment. You had to go out in a hallway and you had to ring the doorbell.
It was locked. And maybe someone would answer.
Maybe someone wouldn't. So the children live separately from the parents.
Yes. The four of us.
And we were four children in four and a half years. So when my mother again entered a mental hospital, when my- And you all were put next door.
We were next door. Yeah.
When my mother was hospitalized for the first time in my baby sister's life, she was six months old. So I was five and the youngest was six months old.
When I think, I remember those yellow ducky pins

because yellow was my favorite.

When I think of the number of times

I stuck that poor child putting on her diaper and, you know.

Because you were left to take care of your child

because your mother was across the hall,

sometimes not being able to get out of the bag.

And sometimes in an institution.

I mean, so, and you know, it's interesting

because I, and I think this is true of many children, I didn't experience it as traumatic. You know, these were my siblings.
You just experienced it as? Home. This was my home.
This is what you were doing. My mother who I loved.
Sometimes there was food. Sometimes people forgot, you know.
Sometimes, you know, I had a third degree burn on my hand because you used to heat the bottle of water in a pan. And, you know, the water spilled because I was little.
I was still little, but I was really little. And something came through me.
And people came around me, people who nobody else could see. and although it didn't become a part of me, it didn't become part of my prism,

it came through me, people who nobody else could see. And although it didn't become a part of me, it didn't become part of my prism, it came through me and just guided me to survive and help them survive.
How long were you in that house taking care of your siblings with your parents across the hall? Well, I mean, I don't know if I took care of them as they got older. I think everyone got independent very fast.
So anyone who wasn't a baby pretty much took care of themselves in different dysfunctional ways. But we lived like that until I was 17 years old.
And then my father met someone, and none of us had a place to live anymore, really. Because your mother died.
My mother killed herself two days after my 14th birthday. And and everyone, my youngest sister, when he got remarried, was 12, I think.
And we all found ourselves pretty much without a place to be. But there was a time, I don't know, I can't remember how old you were.
What do you talk about in the prism? There was a time when your mother had gone in the hospital for trying to commit suicide, and you willed her back. You were communicating with her when she was in a coma.
Yes, she was in a coma, and it was really the first time my intuition was clear to me. My father was out of the house.
The police had come. How old were you? I think I was 11.
I never remember. I always, in the book, I actually had to trace it back.
I was 10 or 11. My mother had taken a massive overdose.
She was in the apartment next door. It was locked.
I didn't have a key. my grandmother had come because they had had a big fight.
The police had come. My father was out of the house.

The other kids went to camp.

I, of course, never left my mother's side.

You know, that was my job was to take care of my mother.

And I woke up and I thought to myself, she's dying. I went to the phone to do what I'd learned how to do by then, which was call the police.
And they knew me at the precinct. They were like, lovely.
They would give me lollipops on the street. They were like, really, you know.
And was it your grandmother in the house who said, don't make that call because then the people will know our business? Yes. My grandmother said she was furious.
And she said, don't do that. You know, all the neighbors will know.
And I looked at her and I didn't even realize this consciously. I said, Grandma, the neighbors know.
The neighbors already know. I mean, like, and frankly, it wasn't even embarrassing to me.
These were my parents. This was my family.
This was my life. So I called, and they either knocked down, I don't remember the details, they either knocked down the door or got the super one or the other to open it up, and literally she had just stopped breathing.
And when they say people are blue, she was blue. They took her out on a stretcher.
She was blue. They took her to Bellevue.
My grandmother disappeared, didn't even show up. I followed on foot.
It was right up First Avenue from my house, about 12 blocks. Sat in the emergency room in Mittens for days.
And the staff would always say, who's your adult? And I would say, oh, my mom's here with me. But tell us about you willing your mother back.
You could feel your mother was dying. And you were speaking to her while she was in the coma.
All the time. And we had always telepathically spoken to each other.
And I didn't think this was weird at all. So they finally call the chaplain.
And I said, and I was very, you know, you're strong when you're a survivor. And I said, where is my mother? Why does she have a hole in her throat? Why is this machine doing this? What's the beeping sound? And he was like, who let you into intensive care? Because you're not allowed in at that age.
And I said, nobody said, how do you know that? Who told you? And I said, I see it here. Which for me, I thought everyone saw it there.
I didn't realize I was really different in any way. So you prefer to be called an intuitive rather than a psychic.
What is the difference in your point of view? I think the word psychic magicalizes a very useful, verifiable, simple human ability that is life-saving. And when you mystify something, it's great business.
Spirituality is a billion-dollar industry. It's not great for people.
Everybody has this ability. A tiny bit of information, a tiny change can change your entire life.
And it's so important to engage in that change. And you can't find it inside of you.
That's the great myth. If you had the answer, you would have answered the question.
It's outside of you. It's in community.
It's in self-help. It's in what you did for me the first time.
Demi dragged me 30 years ago out of my very isolated comfort zone and said, you're going to do this show. And I didn't own a TV at the time.
I mean, this was completely out of my realm. I'm so glad to spend this time with you here on the Oprah podcast.
I'm with intuitive Laura Day, who I originally met when Demi Moore brought her on the Oprah show in the 90s. Next, Demi Moore joins us to share how her intuition guided her to pose for that iconic cover of Vanity Fair while she was seven months pregnant.
We all remember that groundbreaking moment. It changed the way women saw their pregnancies forever.
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Intuitive Laura Day and I are discussing her new book, The Prism, a seven-step roadmap to heal your past

and transform your future. So I had written my first book, which I was...
Practical intuition. Practical intuition, which I was very in conflict about because I had been a test subject for a lot of research on intuition.
So in the early 80s, universities, probably military funded, We're very interested on extrasensory perception.

So the way that the human mind can track... In the early 80s, universities, probably military funded, were very interested on extrasensory perception.

So the way that the human mind can travel into another person in time, in space, go into the future, they were interested in how the mind works and also how healing works, how focusing on something physical can change it. It started in Italy.
It started with a man named Bruno Del Rosso, and he gathered a whole bunch of other people. And then word got around, and I was kind of passed around because I was in my early 20s and didn't really have a life, unlike the older people.
So you could locate things. They could give you coordinates.
You could... I could predict things.
I actually predicted many things in his life that came to pass. And the problem

with prediction is you don't know you're right till it happens. But for me, I didn't realize that other people didn't do this.
I thought everybody experienced it. You know, when you're 20, you think everyone experiences life the way you do.
So the bottom line is you were always guided by this instinctual feeling. And that instinctual feeling, that intuition allowed you to save yourself and a family.
Yes. And it's so interesting.
I really appreciate what you say in the book. One of the things I'd underline was when you say our pathology can lead to our potential.
Our pathology can lead to our potential. And it's so interesting.
And those of you who are listening and watching us right now, if you've been successful in your family or haven't been successful in your family, you're the one who was successful and other people were not or the opposite. It's so interesting how people raised in the same environment under the same circumstances.
Some can make it and some cannot. Why is that? I think, you know, I- Because they learned how to open the prism and others did not? I think that part of it's birth order.
Part of it is, you know, my parents got sicker. You know, first birth order is often the ones who survive.
Yeah. But also it is the way your brain is structured.
It's the luck of the draw. My brain was not structured.
I could probably walk into a wall and not notice it. But my brain was structured to get, if I had a question, the answer came through me.
Does that mean you have a special gift that the rest of us do not? It doesn't mean I have a special gift. It means that my pathology is that my brain is not good in the moment.
I can't remember things. But it can get the universal knowledge that most people don't.
You are more attuned to your sixth sense than most of us are. I am not attuned to my physical senses, but they move around in time and space.
So I have to really work hard to enjoy the pleasure of being in this interview with you and seeing you after all this time. But in a second, if you asked me a question, my attention would go there, no matter where it was in time or who it was about, and I'd be able to get all of this information.
It didn't help me in life. I mean, my brother,

who's dead, graduated from Harvard and Stanford and UVA all with degrees. I mean, he was the

most brilliant math student at Stuyvesant, a school we all went to that's math and science,

but he wasn't able to move out of his reality. And I think that that's true of many of us.
Some of it, it really is the pathology being my potential. The fact that I can be not present.
I don't have a solid prism in the moment, a solid eye. But I can get any information I need is a gift.
Everyone has some of this. And you know what really helps it is when we're in communities, when we bump up against each other.
What Demi did for me in dragging me, literally she dragged me to your show and you, you aren't going to remember this, but I was shaking like a leaf. And what you didn't know was I was in the middle of a terrible custody battle with no skills because I had been 16 when I met my husband.
So I was shaking like a leaf and you and Demi body heat sandwiched me. And you went out on stage.
I don't even know if I said a word. You and Demi were a light in my prism.
And that is why kindness is so important. That's why community is so important.
We bump up against each other. And even if it's a hard bump, at least it shatters for a moment our old paradigm.
And if your old paradigm isn't working for you, it's important to bump up into something new or you don't change. You do the same thing over and over and over again.
You were my change. And that book, first time book, became a bestseller, allowed me to pay for my custody battle of my beautiful 30-year-old, three-year-old son, you know, allowed me to buy back my home, you know, really, you know, and to have a voice in the world and be able to offer something to others.
I would say some significant things happened after that. As I said, we met on the Oprah show.
Demi was a guest and she introduced you and Demi is joining us today. People still talk to me about that show.
Hello. She loved, by the way, I don't know if you've had this experience of her, but you will be, you know, with a face mask in bed during a stomach virus and she still insists on FaceTime.
I believe in it. Hi, ladies.
I'm just sitting here with rapt attention. I'm listening and enjoying your conversation.
So thank you for allowing me to join i want to know how meeting laura uh changed your life to me well first i'll just say you know as a kid who moved around a lot i didn't have a lot of anchor like when people say oh i've been friends since elementary school't have that. And, you know, you guys have been talking about, you know, the connection people make.
Well, you know, I think Laura and I, as we got to know each other, we both realized that we had parents who died by suicide, that we were motherless daughters. And in our forging of a friendship, I think that we were creating an extension of family.
We were sharing in, you know, the growth of our family, the ups and downs of relationships. I want to know, though, what knowing her has taught you about tuning in and trusting your own intuition.

I mean, I think that that was one of the things that, first of all, moved me so much in practical intuition is that, you know, Laura has a very targeted gift, which is why she does so well in with these big corporations with really high stakes. but where her real heart and soul lies is actually in helping others to develop their own, to empower them to connect deeper with themselves and their own ability.
And I think a lot of, you know, what's emerged for me is really that idea. Laura said to me long ago, you know, when you take your intuition, which in fact we do have, we may not have it to the level that Laura has, but we do all have it.
And we put that against fact and logic. We will have our strongest, you know, answer.
And so I feel like that a lot of times, especially now, it's really, it's taking what my own gut, my own intuition is, and sometimes, and being able to check that with someone else, almost being able to exercise it like a muscle. It really is like a muscle.
I really have to, you know, and in the early days when my kids were small, we used to play intuition games, sometimes over football, which, of course, I didn't know who any player was. I only played based on the game's colors.
Who's the team? What's the colors? So because I had no stake in it so that I could then see how accurate I was. And Laura does a lot of that work with her students.
And that was a lot of kind of the give and take. Well, have you ever ignored Laura or your own intuition and later regretted it? Because I asked that question because I am where I am in my life because I am guided by that intuition.
And every decision I ever made that brought me progress or success came from my intuition. I mean, I remember when I was a young girl, the first time I heard it was when I was, I remember hearing it.
I was a young girl watching my grandmother hang clothes on the line and she had the clothespins in her mouth and it was cold and I could see the breath. And she said, you better watch me do this because one day you're going to have to learn to do this for yourself.
And I didn't know it was called intuition. The voice inside me said, no, you won't.
The voice inside He said, no, you won't. And it was so strong that I started to listen to that thing, that voice, and that voice has guided me, that voice guided me to Chicago when everybody else said I would fail by going to Chicago.
That voice said, no, you won't. And so the only time I have ever been unsuccessful in my life is when I did not listen to that voice.
I feel the same way. And I think the only time that I haven't listened to my intuition really speaks to what Laura, what the prism is all about, which is when I didn't value myself enough, that my own vessel was cluttered and thereby I couldn't trust what I was getting.
I didn't have enough sense of myself to trust what was coming in. And I think, you know, I'm so grateful that I've had the opportunity to work with mentors, work with people, work with Laura.

And for those who don't, I feel like having this roadmap that allows you to kind of get in there because, you know, once your container is clear, once you've, you know, untethered from those traumas that are clouding your perception, the clarity that comes through, it becomes so, it's like almost things move with just absolute ease and grace. Yes, it means you're literally in the flow of life.
Don't you feel like it's like you're in the stream of life, you're in the flow of life, rather than against the tide of your life a hundred percent it's like that if you're if you're working like if i've ever been working on something and and it's like putting a square peg in a round hole where it's just not it's not about not working hard because working hard feels great. Yeah.
But it's when something,

then it's like the signs are saying to you,

maybe this isn't where you're meant to be.

Because you're out of alignment.

Yeah.

Yeah. But I also think that one of the ways

that you're such a good example of the prism

is that when you haven't been doing one thing,

you've been doing another.

You haven't neglected the prism of your life and your being, all of the different parts. So because you're public, and I know you very intimately, sometimes publicly they'll think, oh, what's she doing? Where'd she go? It's been a while.
But I know you're doing a million things you wanted to do, you needed to do, you had to show up for other people. And I think that that is such an important part of the prism.
And part of the things that people don't see in celebrity, they see like when a magazine covers you or a movie comes out. But they don't see how much work and how much achievement you do and have done in so many other parts of your life, including a New York Times bestseller.
Well, New York Times bestseller is one thing, but may I say this? I say this every time I encounter Demi. Demi changed the way the world saw pregnant women.
And I don't even, what year was that, that Annie Leibowitz cover? Let's see, 1991. Before 1991, y'all, all of you who are watching, who are younger or listening to us, women wore maternity clothes.
There were like, you would cover up your pregnancy. You were not allowed to, you didn't feel like.
There was a still sense of, there was still a kind of a shroud of shame that you had had sex. Yes, yes.
I always said it used to be like you were celebrated when you let everyone know that you were going to have a baby and you were celebrated once the baby arrived. But there was a point in that as your body grew that you were then supposed to cover up.
And if you think about it, like going way back to the 50s and literally up in really, I would say, until the beginning of the 90s, that they had these like Peter Pan collars. Yes, yes, yes, yes.
You're like trying to portray virginity. Yes, yes.
So tell me what caused you to instinctively know that that was the right decision to make? Because at the time, it was a gasping, bold, bodacious move that you're on the cover of Vanity Fair with your entire belly out. I think it goes back to what you were saying about that moment with your grandmother, which is in that moment, it was really about like, for me, life is all about transformation and growth and that everything else is in service to that.
And so for me, it was a moment of really wanting to just authentically express how I was feeling as a pregnant woman. Wow.
That I didn't understand why it was supposed to be hidden or not celebrated. And so it's not like I set out to go, I'm making a big feminist statement, or it was really about my own.
I think it was about trying to claim more of myself. because as I shared and as Laura knows, you know, I didn't come from having a lot of me, you know.
So everything was in trying to find that and then express it as genuinely as I possibly could. And, you know, it's like it came in.
And, you know, when we did the photo, by the way, it was done for me. It was not for the magazine.
Really? That was for my family. Annie had photographed me my first pregnancy, and we were grabbing it at the very end of the shoot.
And so when they called me two weeks later, and I had said when we were shooting, boy, wouldn't it be amazing if they had the courage to do this? And she called me two weeks later saying, hey, how would I feel? And it felt right. It's like when the intuition comes in, it just touches your knowing.
You don't have to believe it. You don't have to try to make yourself get it.
It's just there. You know it.
I'm so glad you chose to spend your time here on the Oprah podcast. When we come back, New York Times bestselling author Laura Day shares how her intuitive gifts saved her from a chaotic and unstable childhood.
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I so appreciate you spending part of your day here with me.

I'm with New York Times bestselling author and intuitive Laura Day.

Laura's longtime friend Demi Moore is now joining us to talk about how intuition has guided her through the ups and downs of her boundary-pushing career and personal life. So you weren't going through, should I, should I not, should I, I don't know, could I, what are people going to think? That's because you're right.
When the intuition is right, you know it. You know it.
Well, you know, again, I say you revolutionized that. And I don't know if, you know, younger people understand that it all started with you in that cover.
So we have you to thank for that. Well, I'm grateful.
It's like one of those moments where I'm grateful and the gift of what it gave me, of how it enriched me by kind of taking ownership of kind of who I was, what my experience was. And every time, by the way, now that I see someone do a picture where they're celebrating their body, like it just fills me with such joy.
Really, I feel so deeply humbled by it. You say that she's an intuitive for you.
How is that? Well, you know, we have, the reason I write self-help is we don't see what we don't see. We live in our blind spots.
And she will fracture my prism. I mean, she is one bossy girl.
She will say the same way she, I didn't know what a talk show was when I went on Oprah 30 years ago. She will.
Did you know she was that frightened about being there? I mean, I have seen Laura grow tremendously. When we first met, for Laura to be out in the world was very difficult.
Like to be out was, you know, it's almost like imagining like what it would be like for us to go out with our skin off. Like navigating so much information, so much, you know, energy that was kind of coming.
And so getting her out of the house, you know, getting her out into the world was not an easy task. And so to have this book, and I think what motivated her is that she really wanted to share this message of her book.
And, you know, and so today— No, honey, I wrote the book in the comfort of my bed. What motivated me is you showed up at my door and put me on a plane and took me to Chicago and got makeup on me.
And you introduced me to this fabulous woman and you guys literally tag teamed me. And it was, it was amazing.
But you knew that I, I was going to not just with her, but that I was not going to get my message out. And also to be honest, I was going to lose my son if I didn't make a huge amount of money to be able to fight for his safety.
You knew that intuitively. And so you made me do what I didn't have the vision to do for myself.
And made me is, I'm not using that euphemistically. She literally made me.
Well, you knew that she was pregnant with her second child before she did. See, I have no memory.
Part of my ADHD, she has a better memory. I'll tell you what she said, Oprah.
So I was working on a film and I was asking her some questions. And she said, she just stopped in her tracks and she said, if you don't want to get pregnant, you better be really careful because I see this coming.
And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's off in Italy shooting a movie.
Bruce was. And then literally a month later, guess who? But it was a shock.
It was not, I wasn't 100% expecting that, but it definitely 100% came true. Thank you so much.
Thank you, Demi. Thank you.
I always love talking with you. So let's talk about the ego.
You've learned that it's possible to actually change our ego? Yes, our ego is our structure. So our ego starts at conception with our genetics and our in utero experience.
And you're locked and loaded by age seven. And your ego is anything that says I.
I want, I love, I hate, I choose, I direct. So that structure that really is you, but also how you create your life, you can change that from the moment it's set.
And it is set at age seven. And that's developmental psychology.
I didn't come up with that. But working with tens of thousands of students, I have observed that that is true.
Sometimes we bump up against people and experiences that impact us in a way that causes change, like Demi dragging me on your show. And sometimes we are forced to look for it because something's missing in our lives.
Because if your ego was properly formed, and that is true of some people, then you're resilient and you're adaptive. It doesn't mean bad things don't happen, but it means you bounce back because the parts of self know how to use what's around you.
If it wasn't properly formed by age seven, then you need something outside of yourself to guide you. But the good news is not only can you choose, but because we are intricate systems within another intricate system of our world and relationships, a tiny little change, and I always use the red dress example since I wrote that article for you, just even wearing a color you never wear, a tiny little change changes the world's response to you and you change.
Change is much easier than we think. So when we shared on the Oprah podcast Instagram page that Laura would be here, we were flooded with questions for her.
No surprise there. Sabah is the mother of an eight-year-old daughter joining us from outside Chicago.
Hi, Sabah. What is happening with you? Can you tell us? Hi, Oprah.
Hi, Laura. Thank you both for allowing me the space to share my story and for talking with me.
My partner and I have been together for 10 years and we have a child together. And I've done a lot of inner healing work, like what you were a little bit talking about before, recently over the past few years.
And so I'm a little torn. For years, I've carried the emotional weight and the financial responsibility.
And I encouraged my partner to go back to school and to grow and meet me. And to his credit, he has.
In this past year, he has gone back to school, and he's also stepped up and contributed financially more than he ever has. But the truth is, it came after years of waiting, hoping, and asking.
And although I celebrate all these things, I also feel emotionally drained.

And this isn't about him being enough or not.

It's not. But I do feel like we're growing in two separate directions.

And so my question for Ms. Laura Day is, how do I distinguish between intuitive truth and fear when considering to stay and hope for growth or to lovingly let go and create a new chapter for myself and my child.
Before I speak, I want to say this is one intuitive perception and you should never give your power away to anybody. One of the ways I use the prism is I look at what is this really about? And my sense is that what this is really about is that you want a passion, a creativity.
You want the reward for your hard work and that it is really okay and sometimes very healing to be lovingly done. And done, because I see that at the second ego center, right below your navel is nourishment, creativity, and abundance.
And I think that you are tired of wearing navy blue. You want to wear some pink.
You want to dance in the tutu. You want to be alive.
And that, by the way, is not only okay, it's healthy, life-sustaining, and a very good example for your child. I don't think the issue is whether your intuition...
Intuition doesn't tell you. Intuition just gives you data.
What you know is that you're done. And now how can you be done in a way that's nourishing? You don't have to sit in your grief.
Let's make this into a goal, which is what the prism asks you to do. Sitting in your grief just gives you more grief.
What is the goal? You clearly value this person. You value your family.
You value this relationship. You value also the support to be able to be a go-getter in the world.
Like there are things also, if you think of them, and this I never do in public, if you think of them, there are things you value that you are getting. So what I would do is switch the target to should I stay or should I go to how do we evolve this relationship in a way that's supportive for this family we've put so much work into.
And I would do the second ego center. And the second ego center is about one of the healings for the second ego center, which will build abundance and build your creativity, your ability to take what you have and make what you want, which is what you want to do, is pleasure.
My suggestion to you is in everything, including your interaction with this person, your daughter, your whatever, get out of that paradigm, that thought paradigm. Where is the pleasure? Go toward the pleasure, healthy pleasure, you know, go toward the pleasure, but also embrace that you've already, when I sense you intuitively, you are, you love this person, you love your family, you care, but you have made this choice.
So don't keep yourself stuck and you don't have to do everything tomorrow. I sense you have a partner who's willing to work with you.
They just don't want to be cast into the snow. So, you know, you'll work together and there'll be bumps.
And I think he needs to find his ego center and he needs to find that for himself. And it shouldn't be attached to what you need from him because actually you don't need any of that.
It should be attached to who he wants to be or doesn't want to be. So separate that out.
You cannot be in relationship if you're merged, right? So a different relationship, but an unmerging. Yeah.
How do you evolve this relationship? How does this sit with you, Sabah? It's incredible just hearing Laura's story. And even after hearing her story and how she read me, it feels like she knew what I already knew deep inside.
And I just want to take that action. And the creativity part just speaks volumes because I have kind of put myself in a box for a very long time.
But you know what? Your box has not been a mistake. Your box has been life-saving.
Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.
You know what I wanted to say, too, just in reading about your story, I think you've been stuck in the guilt of the shared history, the shared history, and hard to release that in a way that allows you to do exactly what Laura said, but you should see the way your face lit up when she said it. You knew it was the truth when she said it, when she said the question isn't, you know, whether or not you go or stay, because you already know that you are done.
You already know that you're done. Look at you.
You know it. You already know that you're done.
With the old paradigm, but not with the new one. Yes.
And that's choice. So how do you evolve this relationship into something that is great for you, your daughter, and for him?

That is the question.

How do you all evolve?

Not on you, girl.

Not on you.

You are on you.

Your daughter's on you.

He's on him.

And I think he'll rise to that challenge.

Don't tolerate anger.

That's what a therapist is for.

You deal with your stuff elsewhere.

You don't bring it under your roof. Okay.
Great. Thank you, Sabah.
Thank you, Sabah. Thank you.
Thank you, Laura. That was great.
That was great. I could feel that.
I could feel that that was true. Hi there.
Thank you for being here with me. Next intuitive Laura Day shares more insights with guests who are facing a crossroads in their lives.
Maybe you'll recognize some of your own story in theirs. Hi there.
We're back talking about why you should listen to those whispers with Intuitive Laura Day, the woman who's been called the psychic of Wall Street. Alex is a recent Harvard graduate, but feels like she's going in the wrong direction.
Hi, Alex. Tell us your story.
Hi, Oprah and Laura. Thank you so much for having me.
Yeah, so I graduated from Harvard last May. I'm currently an investment banking analyst, and I'm wrapping up my first year of a two-year program.
Prior to finance, my background was actually mostly in writing and reporting, and I studied humanities at school, so I mostly worked with that side of my brain. And the reason I actually went into this job was exactly for that, to push myself and to try to use that other side of my brain and build a new skill set.
And I do feel really good about my initial decision to come here. And I actually think I followed whispers to get here in the first place.
But I recently, now that I've kind of adjusted to the role, I started to feel, you know, it could only be described as as just a strong itch just to kind of switch gears and perhaps do something more social, creative, and mission driven, you know, more connected with my strengths and passions. And I do use the word whispers intuition interchangeably, language I, of course, got from you, Oprah.
And as the whispers kind of get louder and louder, I'm now really paying attention to them. And my questions are more now the what and the when, how to kind of look at what I should be doing next and, you know, how to look at timing.
And I've been seeking and honestly praying for clarity. So I'm just really grateful to be here today.
So, again, this is one intuitive experience. Never give your power away.
When I look at your prism, I go right to your first ego center, the base of your spine. That is really, I think of it as welcome, earthling.
You are home. And what you get from it is power, but it references your structure.

My sense is that you've kind of never felt you were home.

You have so much drive and knowing and excitement that even with people you've loved and who've loved you, there's always been a little bit of standing out and feeling it wasn't okay to stand out. Like you want to be in the structure.
You want to be, excuse this phrase, a good girl. But there's so much in you that's so vibrant and wants to explode it all.
My sense is that this is a great impulse, a wrong interpretation. It's very, you are a structured person.
As much as you want to be free, the one, you know, flying and dancing, you are a structured person. And that structure ultimately is going to give you the power to do whatever you want.
I also, I think to not finish what you start is a very bad example for your energy. I think my gut is that finishing the program, it'll be over before you know it.
Finishing the program is something that's important to do. Do Do I see you doing this as part of your future? No.
Do I see you being like the agent who went to law school, but didn't become a lawyer and using this as part of your bare skin to make the rest of your life easier in what you want to do next? Absolutely. For some reason, I see you doing something very public.
I see you like in the public eye, not as what you would think a Harvard graduate does, but having a very public life. I think this gives you the gravitas and the structure to feel then like you can do that in a couple years.
So that would be my gut. I think that if you don't do this, you will find,

you know, I think a lot of this,

it's more than just this question.

You're questioning everything.

You're questioning relationship.

You're questioning what kind of family you want.

You're questioning where you want to live.

You're questioning maybe your old vision of certain people.

There's a lot of questioning you're doing. And by the way, that's a sign of intelligence and courage.
Go you. I would do the first ego center, which is all about, am I in the right place with the right people? Which, not should I change the program, but literally, in where you are right now, how do you finish your program in a way that edifies you, that makes you feel at home? How do you really use your power in different situations that are right in front of you? And how do you also use your discipline to work on what you think might be this dream or might be that dream? I wrote every book except for this one in one hour a day before my son woke up.
You know, anything you want to do, you don't have to throw the baby out with the bathwater to do it. This will be helpful to you in the future, but also changing it brings up a whole host of problems you don't need to deal with.
Is that helpful? Yeah, I know. That's fascinating.
Thank you so much. I really appreciate that advice, especially what you said about finding a home.
And more thing. I think someone a couple years ago who you really cared about and felt very connected to laid a judgment on you that tarnished a little bit all the things that are strong and fabulous.
You're a warrior, you. Warriors are sexy.
Warriors are beautiful. Warriors are fabulous.
And people's judgments are just people's judgments. Thank you so much.
Wow. That was fascinating.
Fascinating. Laura Day.
Thank you, Alex. Thank you so much.
Crystal told us she's at a crossroads in her life. Crystal, what's going on?

Yeah, thank you, Oprah.

Hi, Laura.

So I guess first, let me start with some context.

I grew up in a really small town in Mississippi, one stoplight, had amazing supportive...

What is the name of the town?

What's the town?

Collinsville, Mississippi, right outside of Meridian.

Oh, I know where that is.

And so grew up with parents who are the byproduct of the Deep South and all that comes with that. They worked one job their entire life, like my dad who worked at a plant to be able to provide for my sister and I.
And I was the first daughter. I was the first granddaughter.
And so first everything. And so they were really, really supportive, but also very protective.
And so this manifested, like when I was getting ready to go to college, I proudly told my family I was going to major in business finance. And I remember my grandmother sternly saying, well, if you major in business, make sure you get your teaching certificate, because schools will always need teachers and you'll always have a job.
And make sure you keep playing the piano, because churches always need organ players. And then when I graduated,

started in corporate America, I was accepted into business school four years later, excited to go to Duke, called my parents. And they were like, are you sure about that? You got a good job.
Don't you leave that good paying job with benefits? And so they were really loving, but they were safe and they prioritized practical over purpose.

And so now, 15 years later into my career, I feel like I'm at this inflection point where I can see where I've laid down my passions like girls education and leadership in the South. And on top of that, I am turning 40 this year.
And if I'm honest, I'm a little scared because I see two paths. I see the safe path, prioritizing financial security and retirement.
And I see the go for gusto path. And I just really, in this next season of my life, want to walk in purpose and what God has for me.
And so my question is, how do I honor my parents and grandparents who have, who have now passed, but I am trying

to develop my deep sense of intuition because I've lost my voice. I can't hear it anymore.
And you took my line away. You know, you know, you, you know yourself so much better than you think first of all 40 I 40, I could have birthed you twice, but you, so I, again, I don't hear the stories because of the way I process, but I looked at you in my way and I thought, this isn't a job.
This isn't a decision about path or job or what, this is a decision and you named it. You're so intuitive.
Trust yourself. And I don't believe in trust, but you have proof now.
I'm about to give it to you. This is a fifth ego center issue, the issue of voice, conversation, and leadership.
So the way, you know, we often foil ourselves by decisions. I think part of the problem, and I want to take this apart for you, part of the problem is

on the job, you don't actually feel you have an authentic voice on the job. You have a voice, you are able to accomplish things, you're effective, but there is a way that you've adapted your voice, frankly, in a way you didn't have to or you don't have to anymore, that doesn't sit right with you.

And I think that this comes up as an issue. This came up as an issue in an interaction.
I'm not good with time, but I think about four or five, six months ago, this came up as an issue, which has galvanized this for you. Before I address your situation, I want to say the first thing you need to do just to heal at the Fifth Ego Center is you need to find a way to change the conversation.
We don't leave those conversations. We're women.
We're warriors. We change them.
And you let a conversation go, which was not okay, should not be let go, and you actually can change it. So if you're going to take the risk, you take the risk first by changing that conversation.
I think it is true. So that's step one, okay? And you're going to do the fifth ego center in the book.
Step two, fifth ego center still, is I agree with you that you are ready to embrace leadership with people that you want to be in conversation with. And you know, what's lovely about you is you are a leader and a teacher.
You want to be in conversation with everyone. But then when people don't converse in an appropriate way or respectful way, and you are unable to use your leadership and your voice to correct that, that's, I mean, that's, ooh, I can feel that issue.
It's like a porcupine in my hands. So my suggestion is that you, A, address that conversation, address the other suggestions in the fifth ego center.
Just pick one. And I always say, pick the one that makes you laugh.
Just like, oh, really that? Because that's outside of the box of your prism that doesn't change, right? That one that you ridicule, as long as it's safe, that's the one to do. I also think, though, and I think you've already begun to do this, you should embrace leadership more, both by addressing the situation and take that risk.
And if it blows up, it blows up, and you've got your answer, right? But also by, because I do see ultimately, you will be a leader, but don't be a leader by giving up your power. You know, be a leader within your power.
So I bet you, you can address this. You can keep what you're doing.
You can be, believe me, you're a headhunter's dream. Headhunter's dream.
I would actually get in touch with headhunters before you address them. We know what I'm talking about, right? Before you address that, I would get in touch with the headhunter.
But I think you should also notice in every place in your life, including in like making dinner, where can you exercise your leadership? Because when you have that energy, it's interesting how those opportunities come to you. It's a kind of active telepathy in the world.
It's what people call manifestation. I hate that word because it's a very magic-y word.
But you make things happen by being what it is you're doing. So that's my suggestion.
Thank you. Thank you.
I just wanted to share with you two, I come from a similar family, raised in Mississippi, raised in Nashville, raised in Milwaukee by a single mother.

And for my whole life, even in Baltimore, when I was a young reporter in Baltimore making $22,000, then $25,000, then $50,000 a year, my father said, girl, don't you ever give up that job. don't you give up that job because nobody's ever nobody's ever going to pay you

$50,000 a year

you know girl, don't you ever give up that job. Don't you give up that job because nobody's ever going to

pay you $50,000 a year for going to a job and you're working a week and you get paid $50,000 a year.

So if I had listened to that voice, his voice, not my own, if I continue to listen to his voice

and not my own, I never would have taken the leap to Chicago. So what I know is that our parents, our grandparents coming from lack and a desire for a life that they couldn't even imagine that you're living right now.
They couldn't even imagine the life that you're living right now. They laid the foundation for your dreams and for you to soar.
But they're words that are still ringing in your head. That's their words.
That's not your life. That's why when my grandmother said, you better watch me because one day you're going to learn to do this.
I knew, I felt instinctively, that's your life, grandma. That's not going to be my life.
And so being able to listen to the voice inside yourself that allows you to live your life and you by living your life and being the best and greatest and fulfilling your potential, you have served them. You have honored them.
You have done that. Amen.
You have. This is a lot.
This entire episode, both of you talking about your grandmothers there. And Laura, the exact conversation you're talking about five months ago, I know exactly what you're referring to and helping me find my voice in leadership.
So this has been an entire conversation of ahas and oohs. It resonates very deeply.
We don't know what y'all are talking about, but that's okay.

But you know the other thing.

Okay, okay.

We're in a moment.

And you know what?

Your private should be your private.

But one of the other things I want to tell you is interpersonally, if you deal with voice there, you'll also be able to deal with voice in that other situation, which will take you to your fourth ego center of value and being valued and having dignity because you do know how to deal with grief. And it's often, it's interesting when we deal with that grief, how sometimes what we're grieving comes back to us.
But for sure, valuing ourself is really important really important. And I think I agree with you, Oprah.
The best way to honor all those people in your history is to live your life. To live your life.
Live your life. Thank you, Kristen.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you, Laura. So, Laura, what is one step that anybody can take today to use their intuition in order to change the course of their life? You know, the most important step is such a simple one, which is have goals.
I start the prism by asking you to just define three goals. Yeah.
And then to document. You know, we live in this mishmash, like a stew that's been on the pot too long and you can't tell the carrots from the beef.
It's really important to notice that out of the blue things, all of a sudden you see the same poster 20 times. What is it actually saying? The person pops into your head that you haven't thought about in 10 years.
Do something about it. It's not about thinking differently, knowing yourself differently.
It's about doing one little thing differently and it can change your entire life. A miracle does take a moment.
I love that. And I also love the pathology is your potential.
And it really is. I make it, my son laughs at me because he says, listen, Ma, you make a great living doing something half the world doesn't believe in from your bed that you don't like to leave.
Like, go you. That's a good life.
I was going to ask, what's the definition of a good life, do you think? What is the definition of a life well lived? I think it's different for every single person. It is being separate, being a real I, because we are spirit.
Spirit is regressive. We are one.
It's much harder to be a person, a person, and to then find your place where you both, where the world has, needs what you want, and you need what you're given. So find your place in the world, that wonderful exchange.
Thank you, Laura Day. The book is called Prism, Seven Steps to Heal Your Past and Transform Your Future.
It's available anywhere you buy books. A heartfelt thanks to you for spending time with us here.
I hope you'll be inspired to pay close attention to that voice inside you.

And I'll talk to you again next week.

Go well.

You can subscribe to the Oprah podcast on YouTube and follow us on Spotify, Apple podcasts,

or wherever you listen.

I'll see you next week.

Thanks, everybody.