Caroline Darian in First U.S. Interview Since Her Father Dominique Pelicot’s Shocking Trial
“I’ll Never Call him Dad Again” by Caroline Darian, published by Sourcebooks, is available March 18th wherever books are sold.
https://www.amazon.com/Ill-Never-Call-Him-Again/dp/1464257957?source=ps-sl-shoppingads-lpcontext&ref_=fplfs&psc=1&smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER
https://books.apple.com/us/book/ill-never-call-him-dad-again/id6740407561
In a story that made international headlines, French grandmother Gisèle Pelicot was drugged and raped by her husband Dominique Pelicot and more than 70 men he invited to rape her while she remained unconscious. In this episode of The Oprah Podcast, Gisèle’s daughter Caroline Darian reveals how her father’s secret life has devastated their family and destroyed the life they knew. During this candid conversation, Caroline shares how they found out about her father’s crimes, how he recruited men to rape her mother, and the lengths he took to keep his perversion a secret from everyone. She will also talk about the shock of discovering photos of herself unconscious in his collection, how he raped her mom in Caroline’s home and how she and her mother found the strength to face her father and the dozens of accused men during the trial.
Minnesotan Jenny Teeson - a mom of two who found video of her ex-husband drugging and raping her - also joins the conversation. Jenny will explain why most of the charges against her ex-husband were dropped despite overwhelming video and photographic evidence.
For more information on Caroline Darian’s movement, “Don’t Put Me Under: Stop Chemical Submission” please go to her website.
https://mendorspas.org/
If you are a victim of sexual assault, please call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-467. More information can be found at the website below.
https://rainn.org/resources
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Transcript
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Speaker 3 Thank you all for joining me on the Oprah podcast for this special episode.
Speaker 3 Before we start, it's important for those of you listening or watching to know that this conversation is around sexual assault, and it may be very challenging to hear.
Speaker 3 And most importantly, this is absolutely not an appropriate conversation for young children.
Speaker 3 So today I'm speaking with Caroline Darion, who traveled here to California from her home just outside of Paris. And this is her first American interview.
Speaker 2 In 2020, 67-year-old Dominique Pellicol, reportedly a devoted grandfather, father, and husband, was arrested near where he lived in the south of France.
Speaker 2 He was caught filming up women's skirts at a supermarket. He was released while awaiting charges.
Speaker 2 Police seized Dominique's two phones, a camera, and a video recorder, plus several other devices from the home he shared with Giselle, his wife of nearly 50 years.
Speaker 2 Dominique Pelico confessed to his wife Giselle about that supermarket incident, but nothing could prepare her for what was to come.
Speaker 2 Giselle and Dominique were then summoned to the local police station, she assumed, to discuss her husband's case.
Speaker 2 Instead, police privately informed Giselle that for nearly a decade, her husband had been recording her on his devices and drugging and raping her.
Speaker 2 During that time, Dominique had also invited more than 70 local men, strangers he recruited from chat rooms on the internet, to rape his wife as she lay unconscious. He stood by and filmed it all.
Speaker 2 In total, police discovered more than 20,000 photos and videos on Dominique's devices in a folder labeled abuse.
Speaker 2 After Giselle met with Felice, she called her three grown children, Caroline, David, and Florian, to tell them the shocking truth about the father they thought they knew.
Speaker 2 Caroline courageously shares her family's unimaginable ordeal in her gripping memoir, I'll Never Call Him Dad Again.
Speaker 3 So welcome, Caroline. Thank you for having me here today.
Speaker 3 You traveled 24 hours to get here to do this interview, so I deeply, deeply appreciate that. I have to say, reading your book, I Will Never Call Him Dad Again, was
Speaker 3
what is the word? It was shocking and it was infuriating and so, so, so, so disturbing. And so many unimaginable occurrences.
I mean, just unimaginable.
Speaker 3
And every time I turn the page, I'd say, it can't get worse. And then it would get worse.
And then I heard that you said that
Speaker 3 this was
Speaker 3 writing of this story was an opportunity for you to actually
Speaker 3 state a way of surviving for yourself. And my intention is to invite everyone who hears us to learn something as a society, so that in Caroline's mother's words, shame must change sides.
Speaker 3 And reading your book, as I was saying, I kept thinking,
Speaker 3 it can't get worse. And every time it did,
Speaker 3 I have to say, I am in awe of your courage.
Speaker 3 I think a statue should be built
Speaker 3 in honor of your mother.
Speaker 3 I think what she has done for women in the world, regardless of what kind of
Speaker 3 challenge or difficulty or atrocities that women have been through, that her being able to stand up for the Pelico name gives the opportunity for every other woman to look inside herself and stand up.
Speaker 3 And I think for you, Caroline, to be willing to speak the truth of your life and this horrific story is just
Speaker 3
an act of victory and triumph. And it shows that you are a mighty woman.
You are a mighty woman, and so is your mother. So I thank you for writing this book.
I mean, I can't imagine.
Speaker 3 Well, I actually can imagine because in the telling of the story, you tell us how many times you you had a breakdown. But you say that for you this became a question of survival.
Speaker 3
Thank you so much, Oprah. I'm uh really touched by your words.
Um
Speaker 3 I really wanted to write down this story because I wanted to um
Speaker 3 to show to the many people that uh whatever you
Speaker 3 you live
Speaker 3 in uh
Speaker 3 in your family, you are not, you know, uh responsible of what happened.
Speaker 3 And there's always something more positive to share with
Speaker 3 the more vulnerable people. So I really wanted to make something useful and to go beyond
Speaker 3
this terrible legacy. Yeah.
Well, four years ago, let's go back to four years ago, you were living a life that you called a simple and ordinary life.
Speaker 3
I know many women around the world can relate to this. And certainly here in the United States, you had a home in the suburbs.
You had a really good job that you enjoyed, a husband
Speaker 3
and a six-year-old son. You were very close with your two brothers and your parents who had retired to this picturesque village in the south of France.
So take us back to
Speaker 3 November 2nd, 2020, the day all of that all came crashing down.
Speaker 3 And I will have to say, I really appreciate in the book how you reflect back to ordinary things, like the kids in the pool and the moments at the grocery store, and just ordinary simple things that are going through your life.
Speaker 3 And then this horrible thing happens, and nothing is ever the same again.
Speaker 3 I used to say that I had
Speaker 3 a quite normal life, you know, Bernal life.
Speaker 3
I was the daughter of my two parents, beloved parents. We were so close from each other.
We were really a united family.
Speaker 3 I was also, but I'm still close from my two brothers, David and Florian.
Speaker 3 And
Speaker 3 we are living in a,
Speaker 3 you know, yes, in a normal life, we are so
Speaker 3 happy.
Speaker 3 And I thought that I had a solid,
Speaker 3 cheerful, protective, and reassuring dad.
Speaker 3 I thought also that they were happy together. They were living, they lived together for about 50 years.
Speaker 3 And
Speaker 3
yes, I had a husband. I used to work.
I had a great job. And
Speaker 3 then.
Speaker 3
You were doing such ordinary things. I like how you start in the book talking about you were teaching your son to put on the mask.
Yeah, because
Speaker 3 we were in the middle of the lockdown. Yes, yes.
Speaker 3 And
Speaker 3 yes, we're just preparing
Speaker 3 our son with my husband to go back to school. And
Speaker 3 and that day November the the 2nd 2020
Speaker 3 all my
Speaker 3 life
Speaker 3 and my childhood in a way collapsed
Speaker 3 because I thought I knew my my dad so it started with a phone call and it started with a phone call
Speaker 3 the evening of November the 2nd and I'm I remembered I'd worked all the day from home because we're in the middle of the lockdown
Speaker 3 And
Speaker 3 I received this call from my mom, and I thought that
Speaker 3 everything was okay. And she told me, You have to sit down, Caroline, because I had to
Speaker 3 say something really
Speaker 3
difficult to say over the phone. So you have to sit down.
And I just want to be sure you are not alone and you are with your husband.
Speaker 3 And she told me, I just discovered this morning at the police station, where I stayed
Speaker 3 almost five hours that your dad
Speaker 3 used to drug me
Speaker 3 before I was raped, and I was raped by
Speaker 3 dozen and dozen strangers,
Speaker 3 unknown people. And at this time,
Speaker 3 you know what?
Speaker 3 I still remember, you know, this
Speaker 3 tipping point of my life.
Speaker 3 I still saw on the clock on the oven, you know, that it is 25 past eight in the evening
Speaker 3 and that everything changed in a second.
Speaker 3 And I just realized that
Speaker 3 my life will never be the same.
Speaker 3 Could you even take it in, Caroline,
Speaker 3 when she's saying I'm at the police station
Speaker 3 and
Speaker 3
I just found out that your father has been raping me, and other men have been raping me. Dozens and dozens of men have been raping.
Could you? I don't even know how you even take that in.
Speaker 3 So, what did your brain do? What did what did you did you collapse? Did you scream?
Speaker 3 I screamed a lot.
Speaker 3 I cried a lot, but I, you know, instinctively understood
Speaker 3 what I saw
Speaker 3 over the past years when my mom, you know, had this
Speaker 3 incoherent behavior.
Speaker 3 She was talking
Speaker 3
in a strange way. You would see lapses in her memory.
She had lapsing the memories, like, you know,
Speaker 3 she was doing amnesia. She didn't remember some of our conversation about the phone
Speaker 3
the day before. I mean, you know, so I told, straight away, I told her, but mom, this is the main reason why you are like this, because you were drugged.
You were drugged, mom.
Speaker 3
And this is the way you found out. I mean.
Okay, so she found out
Speaker 3
because she had been brought to the police station with your dad. Your dad had been accused of filming underneath the skirts of other women.
So she thought she was going to the police station to...
Speaker 3 witness that or support that or be there for that occasion, correct? Yeah. And this the the morning of November the 2nd, they have to tell my mom that he was arrested and that...
Speaker 3
The way you describe it in the book is so really incredible. They take him into a room.
They put your mother in a room.
Speaker 3 She is sitting there, Giselle Pelicot, and she is being asked all these questions about what is your relationship with your husband and what kind of a man is he? And she's feeling, you know,
Speaker 3 you're being invasive. And why are you asking me these questions, correct? And then
Speaker 3 they show
Speaker 3 her the photographs. Yeah, they show her seven different photographs with seven different men
Speaker 3 while she was abused.
Speaker 3 And what is in those photographs, Caroline?
Speaker 3 You saw my mom drugged, that being raped by different men each time.
Speaker 3 And they have to tell her that
Speaker 3
there's so many others. There's pictures, photographs, but also videos.
And the reason why they have these photographs is because they, the police, had confiscated his computer
Speaker 3 and
Speaker 3 had originally been investigating him because of the two women that he's charged with filming under their skirts.
Speaker 3 And then they found all of these pictures and videos that your father, the man you will never call dad again,
Speaker 3 had been taking for years
Speaker 3 of your mother.
Speaker 2 Coming up next, Caroline Darian reveals how her own father systematically recruited more than 70 men from nearby towns to rape her unconscious mother inside their home for nearly a decade.
Speaker 2 She shares the details she uncovered. Next,
Speaker 5 this episode of the Oprah podcast is brought to you by Booking.com. Listing your vacation rental and Booking.com opens the door to more guests.
Speaker 5 Booking.com is one of the most downloaded travel apps in the world.
Speaker 5 That makes it the place to list your vacation rentals if you want to earn more with consistent bookings, reach new markets, and turn hosting into a steady income.
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Speaker 2
Welcome back to the Oprah Podcast. I'm speaking with Caroline Darion in her first U.S.
interview.
Speaker 2 A reminder, this conversation contains discussions about sexual assault and can be triggering for some viewers and listeners. This interview is not appropriate for children at all.
Speaker 2 Carolyn's father's reprehensible crimes made international headlines last year.
Speaker 2 In her new book, I'll Never Call Him Dad Again, she uncovers how her own father regularly drugged her mother Giselle so that she would pass out.
Speaker 2 And then over the course of nearly a decade, her father used chat rooms to invite more than 70 strangers into their home on separate occasions to film them raping his own wife, Caroline's mother.
Speaker 3 So, those of you who are not familiar with the story, Caroline's father went on the internet to some website and
Speaker 3 invited men into their home, into the marriage that he had been
Speaker 3 with
Speaker 3 Giselle Pelico for now 50 years, 50 years, and invited men into the home to come and have sex with his wife,
Speaker 3 to rape her on a regular basis. This was happening on a regular basis, because I read
Speaker 3 in one of the reports that
Speaker 3 several of the men had been back five and six times. Some of them went several times, some of them went only one time.
Speaker 3 But my mom was raped more than 200 times.
Speaker 3 She was raped more than 200 times during 10 years
Speaker 3 by more than
Speaker 3
70 different men. By more than 70 different men.
And 50 of those men stood trial. Yes.
Speaker 3 So, how did your father drug your mother? And how did you,
Speaker 3 your brother, David, and Florian,
Speaker 3 how did the children in the family not sense that something was wrong?
Speaker 3 My father
Speaker 3 used to use some prescription medicine
Speaker 3 drugs, yes. Medicine coming from the
Speaker 3 fabric cabinet medicine. It was sedatives, once a
Speaker 3
even, you know, painkillers. Okay.
And we are using those medicines, you know, within the food, even within a glass of wine. He would crush sleeping.
He was mixing, you know, all of these substances.
Speaker 2 During the trial, Dominique confessed that he regularly crushed prescription sleeping pills and anti-anxiety medications into Giselle's meals or her favorite dessert, raspberry ice cream, which he would bring to her in bed.
Speaker 2 The drugs caused Giselle to have frequent blackouts, insomnia, and bouts of amnesia.
Speaker 2 She suffered hair loss and also lost 22 pounds over the eight years.
Speaker 2 As Giselle's memory lapses continued, Caroline and her brothers became increasingly concerned that their mother was in the early stages of Alzheimer's disease.
Speaker 2 Despite several doctor visits and a brain scan, no cause was ever found to explain these episodes. No doctor or family member thought to test her blood for drugs.
Speaker 3 He actually had a formula that he would tell the other men about because he was also teaching them how to drug their wives. Yeah, and also give those,
Speaker 3 I was going to say,
Speaker 3 recipe,
Speaker 3
you know, to some other man and they replicated the same, you know, process. Yes, to rape their wives.
To rape their wives, yeah. To rape their wives.
And so
Speaker 3 you write on page 27, what depths of dishonesty does it take to have maintained
Speaker 3 all these years the tranquil illusion that everything was normal. So I know your mother even felt like your father doted on her.
Speaker 3 Didn't you all think he doted on her, he loves her, this is a great marriage?
Speaker 3 You know, even my mother told to the police station, to the policeman, that he was a great guy before, you know,
Speaker 3 discovering the truth and the reality of his real personality. And the fact is that we lived with him, a side of him, without knowing, you know,
Speaker 3 we knew his face A
Speaker 3 because he there's i think there's two faces within domini pelico a face a which is a good guy a good neighbor a good husband a good pair parent yeah and another one which is a real manipulator
Speaker 3 and he was doing you know he was uh coexisting with these two faces in uh at home and we never saw so he would dote on your mother he would make meals for her he would always when he was around you he was really protective with her he was you know uh
Speaker 3 they were really uh really close from each other and so we never saw him i never saw my dad stare at a woman
Speaker 3 i never saw my dad you know having a a strange behavior with some woman i mean or even seem interested in other women no or flirting with other women or anything never ever you you you felt that they were devoted and and in the police station When she first arrived, when they asked her what was your relationship, she said her husband was a great man and a great neighbor and all those things.
Speaker 3 How would you describe him as a father to you growing up?
Speaker 3 He was really,
Speaker 3 he was taking care of me.
Speaker 3 He was close to me.
Speaker 3 He used to bring me to school to encourage me, you know, within my studies.
Speaker 3 We used to get a lot of conversation, different kinds of conversations.
Speaker 3 I thought he was a good father.
Speaker 3 But in the end,
Speaker 3 you know, I know now
Speaker 3 since 42 years old,
Speaker 3 that
Speaker 3 he's probably one of the most
Speaker 3 important sexual criminal
Speaker 3
criminals in France. And that is a whole lot to have to reckon with.
The father that you've known to be the devoted husband to your mother and to be there caring for you and always interested in you.
Speaker 3 And then to realize that there was this whole other side of this man that you didn't know about. So I realized that a few days you write in, I'll never call him dad again.
Speaker 3 You write that
Speaker 3 you were called to the police station a few days after your mother and father had been there and she had recognized that,
Speaker 3 first of all,
Speaker 3 how did she react in the beginning? Did she, did she, I mean, there's a picture of her body,
Speaker 3 you know, lying there in the bed or wherever she was was placed, and she can see that she's out of it, that she's drugged, and it's one man after another man after another man. How did she even
Speaker 3
get in? She lives a kind of a disassociation. Disassociation.
Disassociation, sorry. Because it was a real shock for her.
Speaker 3 Those of you who are listening to us or watching, you know, hopefully you won't have to go through something as horrible as that, but you know when you go through something that is shocking, when you have been betrayed,
Speaker 3 it feels like it strips you of everything you thought you knew. It strips you of your own identity because here I was, a person who believed all this time that you were a certain way.
Speaker 3 So what does that say about me that I couldn't see that? You know, it just causes people to question themselves. Did that happen with you?
Speaker 3 Me, I live kind of
Speaker 3
post-traumatic stress disorder. Absolutely.
Okay, so let's go back. The police called you back to the station, and what did they show you?
Speaker 3 They had to show me two pictures of me, almost naked with a paint, a beige paint, which is not mine, laying on the left side, like my mum.
Speaker 3 She is on almost all the photographs and videos.
Speaker 3 And
Speaker 3
I had to recognize myself. At first, you didn't recognize yourself.
It was so difficult to me to realize that he did what he did.
Speaker 3
To your mother. To my mother, but also to me, you know.
Yeah, when you're looking at...
Speaker 3 Okay, so you're brought back to the police station, and the police show you pictures that they've taken from your father's computer of you in a pair of panties that you don't even recognize.
Speaker 3
I don't recognize. And you are knocked out.
You don't recall even where or how that could have been. I don't have any recollection of
Speaker 3 where those pictures were taken
Speaker 3
that day. I mean, it was November the 3rd.
So the day after
Speaker 3 the revelation with my mom. So almost 24 hours after.
Speaker 3 And I had to sue my father because I saw myself. But
Speaker 3 it took me like
Speaker 3 15 minutes to realize that it was me on those two different pictures. They got a two different places
Speaker 3 with
Speaker 3 another pant which is not mine.
Speaker 3 So
Speaker 3 I live like
Speaker 3 a tsunami
Speaker 3 because I realized that my mom was not the only victim of this family.
Speaker 3 It was also you.
Speaker 3 It was also you.
Speaker 3 That leaves me speechless because to recognize, first of all, the day before that your father has been calling in strangers to rape your mother and drugging her for over a decade,
Speaker 3 and then the next day to be called in and to see pictures of yourself drugged, immediately your thought goes to, did he also rape me?
Speaker 3 Yes.
Speaker 3 To me, I saw this woman on those two photographs and I deeply,
Speaker 3 I'm deeply convinced that first I'm drugged and then that he probably raped me.
Speaker 3 He denies raping you. He denies and
Speaker 3 over those past four years and even during this trial, he refused to tell the truth. And he
Speaker 3
said a different version, but we don't know the main reason why he took those pictures. And he told.
What does he say? Because my thing is, if
Speaker 3 you see the pictures of your mother knocked out, and obviously she was raped because he filmed everything.
Speaker 3 He obviously didn't film himself or anybody with you, but there are the pictures.
Speaker 3 Why does he say he took the pictures of you knocked out and drugged?
Speaker 3 He didn't remember taking those two pictures. Oh.
Speaker 3 And
Speaker 3 why does he say he drugged you?
Speaker 3
He said that he took not me on the photographs. He said that he never touched me.
He never raped me. He never drugged me.
But there's those two pictures. You know what I mean?
Speaker 3 The pictures...
Speaker 3 were in a file
Speaker 3
and the file was labeled something. What was the file labeled? The pictures were in a file label.
My daughter Naked.
Speaker 3 They found that those two photographs,
Speaker 3 which was deleted two months before he was arrested
Speaker 3 through this IT expertise.
Speaker 3 Oh, so an IT expert
Speaker 3
found those photographs that had been deleted. It's a lot.
So he tried to actually get rid of those photographs. Exactly.
Speaker 2 A week after our interview, Carolyn filed a legal complaint against her father, accusing him of drugging and sexually abusing her over a 10-year period when she was in her 30s.
Speaker 2 Caroline says she filed with the prosecutor as a message to all victims that you must never give up.
Speaker 3
Later, they found pictures of your sister-in-law. Is it your sister-in-law? You have two had two sister-in-laws.
I have two sister-in-laws, yes.
Speaker 3 And the two sister-in-laws, he had been taking pictures, nude pictures of them coming out of the shower or
Speaker 3 in their own bedroom, even when one of my sister-in-law was
Speaker 3 pregnant, you know.
Speaker 3 And none of the women of this family were spared.
Speaker 3 Yes, no woman in this family, in this immediate family, was spared. What was your mother's reaction when you told her that they had found photos of you and your father's files?
Speaker 3 She wasn't able to react.
Speaker 3 She was kind of locked in the silence.
Speaker 3 She was not able to support or even to help me.
Speaker 3 And I think that's, you know,
Speaker 3 the consequences of this
Speaker 3
post-traumatic stress disorder. She was not able to help me, even to believe me, you know? Yes.
Because she wasn't at the police station with me at that time.
Speaker 3 So, and my brother had to tell, to told her, but mom, it's really Caroline on those two photographs. But, you know,
Speaker 3 she was lost.
Speaker 3 From reading the book, I know things might have changed since you wrote the book, but from reading the book, it appeared to me
Speaker 3 that
Speaker 3 your mom still did not
Speaker 3 believe that your father sexually assaulted you, that she could wrap her head around the fact that she had been raped by all of those men and that he had called them in for years and she was drugged.
Speaker 3 But there was something about
Speaker 3 her not being able to accept that it actually happened to you. And at one point, that became a great tension between you because she said, you know, why do you keep, you know,
Speaker 3 talking about this or fixating on this? I mean, he wasn't mean his whole life or he was good for part of your life is what she said.
Speaker 3 You know, I think she is
Speaker 3 difficult for her, for a mom,
Speaker 3 to realize that you were not protective enough. I mean, that you did not protect your daughter in your own family.
Speaker 3 I think it's a difficult ordeal to face for her.
Speaker 3 But we are in a different different position. I mean, for her, I think it's
Speaker 3 probably easier to consider that she is the only victim of Dominique
Speaker 3 because, you know, she decided to live with him.
Speaker 3 He was
Speaker 3 her husband.
Speaker 3 But, you know,
Speaker 3 realizing that he might
Speaker 3 have, you know, sexually abused
Speaker 3 her daughter, I think it's impossible for her. It's It's a kind of an autoprotection.
Speaker 3 So, what did this process? What did this do, Caroline, to the relationship between you and your mother?
Speaker 3 Because at one point, you write in the book, one brother was siding with the mother, and the other brother was siding with you.
Speaker 3 What did this do to the whole family? Because
Speaker 3 no one wanted to believe that this had actually happened to you, even though you have the pictures.
Speaker 3 You know, we have to leave
Speaker 3 our, you know,
Speaker 3 reconstruction differently
Speaker 3 and from
Speaker 3 I mean separately.
Speaker 3 Still, I mean, she
Speaker 3 I understood that she is not able to realize and I have to respect that because, you know,
Speaker 3 I don't have any father.
Speaker 3 but I still have a mother.
Speaker 3 And it's interesting, you do write to, and say it so beautifully, I forgot the phrase about how you are the daughter of both the victim and the perpetrator. Yeah.
Speaker 3 Yeah.
Speaker 2 Next, Caroline Darion tells me how her father managed to keep his dark secret hidden from his family, the police, and everyone else for nearly a decade.
Speaker 2 She also describes what it was like for her own mother to face 51 of her rapists during the grueling trial. Stay with us.
Speaker 4 Welcome back.
Speaker 5 This episode of the Oprah podcast is brought to you by Booking.com. Listing your vacation rental and Booking.com opens the door to more guests.
Speaker 5 Booking.com is one of the most downloaded travel apps in the world.
Speaker 5 That makes it the place to list your vacation rentals if you want to earn more with consistent bookings, reach new markets, and turn hosting into a steady income.
Speaker 5 Over the past 25 years, they've helped more than 1.8 billion vacation rental guests find places to stay. So why not help them find yours?
Speaker 5
You can manage your bookings and have control over your property's calendar and finances. It's hosting on your terms.
The best part? Getting started is super easy.
Speaker 5 In less than 15 minutes, you can register your property, and nearly half of partners get their first booking within a week.
Speaker 5 If you've already listed on another site, Booking.com makes it easy to import your property info and get going right away.
Speaker 5 Whether you're looking to earn that extra income or fill those vacant weekends, head over to Booking.com to see how you can get started today.
Speaker 5 The reach is global, the bookings are consistent, and the control is yours. For the bookings you've dreamed of, list your property on Booking.com.
Speaker 2
The Oprah podcast. I want to remind you that this conversation contains discussions about sexual assault.
It may be triggering for those watching or listening.
Speaker 2 This interview is not appropriate for children. I'm speaking to Caroline Darian, author of the new book, I'll Never Call Him Dad Again, in which she shares her family's unfathomable ordeal.
Speaker 2 Her own father spent nearly a decade drugging his wife, Caroline's mother, then inviting men to come into their home to rape her unconscious body on camera.
Speaker 3 So after seeing the photos of yourself,
Speaker 3 it became too much to bear. And there's no one listening to us or watching us right now who doesn't understand that your brain just can't even.
Speaker 3
You're first trying to process, my mother has been raped by 70 different men. That's on November 2nd.
And then on November 3rd, you're brought back to the police station. You see pictures of yourself.
Speaker 3 And now you've got to process, what happened to me and it was too much to bear and you ended up just having a breakdown what what does a breakdown feel like can you share with us what does that what is happening when you break i felt abandoned like an orphan
Speaker 3 abandoned by my father because it was the worst betrayal
Speaker 3 you know discovering that you don't know who you raised you yeah
Speaker 3 and
Speaker 3 I felt alone all by myself, you know, without any support from mama because she was unable to be there for me.
Speaker 3 So
Speaker 3 it's a lot of loneliness.
Speaker 3 So you went into hospital for how long?
Speaker 3
Almost 72 hours. Yeah.
Almost 72. Just to sort of get your brain straightened out.
Speaker 3 So that I can sleep.
Speaker 3 But you know, the
Speaker 3 weird thing that they had to sedate me,
Speaker 3 you know, at the hospital
Speaker 3 for for you know, for for me uh b being able to to sleep. And uh
Speaker 3 this was exactly, you know, the the module supernovae that my dad used, you know, to draw to uh to rape my mom and me. And so I j you know, I was in the hospital uh,
Speaker 3 you know, amongst different uh GPs and so on and I realized that the only way to
Speaker 3 care of me, to take care of me, was to uh to s to sedate me and to to give me some pills, some sleeping pills.
Speaker 3 So, which was, you know, like
Speaker 3 quite also triggering.
Speaker 3 Yes, yes. And so I was there and I realized that
Speaker 3 there are no
Speaker 3 real support from,
Speaker 3 you know,
Speaker 3 the victims who are suffering from chemical submission.
Speaker 3 We need to get a special support in that case.
Speaker 3 So it was really
Speaker 3 tough for me.
Speaker 2 Chemical submission occurs when a perpetrator uses drugs to make someone unconscious or incapacitated in order to commit a crime against them.
Speaker 2 Although chemical submission is not new, Giselle Pelico's case drew renewed attention to the method being used specifically to perpetrate sexual assaults.
Speaker 2 This type of crime has been on the rise for 20 years in France. In the United States, this crime is referred to as drug-facilitated sexual assault.
Speaker 2 It is also on the rise here in America, but difficult to prosecute due to lack of evidence.
Speaker 3 You talk in the book how you and your mother were not supported as rape victims should be. You're told this information and then just left on your own.
Speaker 3 I got the impression from your story, though, that at times the police were sympathetic because they couldn't even believe what they were pulling up. They couldn't believe themselves.
Speaker 3 That's the impression I got from the book. Correct me if I'm wrong, that
Speaker 3 this man, Dominique,
Speaker 3 the man you'll never call dad again,
Speaker 3 had done this to his wife.
Speaker 3 It's the worst case in France, and even the policemen didn't see that kind of story before. Yes.
Speaker 3
Nobody had ever even heard of this before. Never, never, ever.
It was for them. It's the...
Coming to a nice little French neighborhood suburban home, the men would park down the street.
Speaker 3 Can we talk for a minute about the 50 men accused? They know that there were at least 70, but they were able to identify 50 of the men from the tapes because
Speaker 3 Caroline's father
Speaker 3
had one condition for the men. He didn't charge the men to come in and rape his wife.
He only insisted that he'd be able to film it.
Speaker 3 And therefore, all of those men who raped Giselle Pellico over a period of more than a decade, all of those men are on tape. And they ranged in ages from 26 years old to 74 years old.
Speaker 3
And they come from all backgrounds. One was a sales manager.
I heard one was a journalist. There was a firefighter.
They're all fathers and grandfathers.
Speaker 3 And one of the perpetrators, I heard, was also one of of your mom's neighbor right
Speaker 3 yes they were like
Speaker 3 like the good men the good neighbor the good neighbors they were well insert inserted within the society there were some job with some role and responsibilities they were a dad grandfather and all of that
Speaker 3 and one of the men uh was HIV positive
Speaker 3 yes
Speaker 3 And he came several times. He came seven times.
Speaker 3 He came seven times?
Speaker 3 seven times so my mom and was HIV positive and obviously never said he was HIV positive so your mom did not contract the disease she's a miracle that's a miracle that's a miracle and he didn't use a condom
Speaker 3 no
Speaker 3 never ever none of these men were using condoms no none of these men so wouldn't your mom have
Speaker 3 you know vaginal infections or urinary tract infections was were weren't there always something going on? With her? She had some
Speaker 3
genealogist troubles. Yes.
But you know, as a
Speaker 3 GP, when you saw a woman who is 78 years old, you don't even think about that.
Speaker 2 In 2019, when Giselle told Caroline that she'd been bleeding heavily from her vagina, Caroline brought her mother to a gynecologist.
Speaker 2 The doctor detected an inflammation of her uterine passage and prescribed some antifungal ointment and left it at that.
Speaker 3 So at one point from prison, I think your father wrote a letter to his brother. He wrote a letter.
Speaker 3
Your father writes a letter to his brother saying that life is too hard and Caroline's anger is making it worse. He then writes to his brother, try to calm.
Try to calm her, meaning you down.
Speaker 3 What was your reaction when you read that letter? First of all, he's not even supposed to be writing letters from prison, is what I understood in the beginning, contacting the family.
Speaker 3 No, he wasn't able. I mean, he was not able to do that, but he did.
Speaker 3 And,
Speaker 3 you know,
Speaker 3
I was so angry. You know, the anger that I feel toward him is so hard.
I mean, it's so strong.
Speaker 3 I
Speaker 3 realized reading this letter that
Speaker 3 he is a real manipulator. he's a liar
Speaker 3 is playing a role
Speaker 3 he played a role probably all of his life
Speaker 3 and all that time did you feel so he really wasn't my dad he was just playing a role as a dad is that what you ended up feeling
Speaker 3 i don't know i think uh you know um
Speaker 3 in the end
Speaker 3 I don't think he was really happy in his own life.
Speaker 3 Obviously.
Speaker 3 And he blamed this
Speaker 3
on the fact that when he was nine years old, I think he was sexually assaulted. Yes, this is what he told, yeah.
And that at 14, he was forced to watch a gang rape.
Speaker 3 And
Speaker 3 so
Speaker 3 he then created a life where his own wife was gang raped.
Speaker 3
You know, I think I don't know it's the truth, to be honest with you. I don't know if it's the truth.
I heard about this
Speaker 3 story when he was nine years old, but after, you know,
Speaker 3
I don't give any credit. Yeah, and lots of people are raped at nine years old and ten and twelve and fourteen, and they don't grow up and do this.
You know, whatever it is, you
Speaker 3
whoever you are, you choose who you want to be in life. Yes, yes.
And he has, you know, he had a chance to get a nice family. He was loved.
He was loved. By his wife and his three children.
Speaker 3 He was grandfather. I mean.
Speaker 3 Which is what most people are looking for,
Speaker 3 is to know that they are loved. And I know at one point your mother
Speaker 3 tells you that your father is in a bad way. In the book you write, I'll never call him dad again.
Speaker 3 Your mom says to you that Dominique is in a bad way, and she somehow feels that she has failed him in some way. And on another occasion, she actually packed him warm clothes and personal items.
Speaker 3 What did you think of that? Did that feel like betrayal to you? That your mom is now betraying you?
Speaker 3 I think she was in a denial. Yes.
Speaker 3 For her,
Speaker 3 having to look at him
Speaker 3
as he is in reality. Yeah.
It is... too tough.
Well, this is the thing. She made a decision early on in the trial, and you all can read about the trial.
Speaker 3 She made a decision that she was going to, first of all, take this to trial and let it be an open trial, not through closed doors, because she wanted to shift the shame.
Speaker 3 That's why she deserves a statue in her honor, that she wanted to shift the shame and not have the shame be on the victim. Even though this horrible, shameful thing had happened to her.
Speaker 3 She's saying, I'm not going to bear the shame. The shame should be on
Speaker 3 this journalist, this firefighter,
Speaker 3
all these men who are known as every man in the community. They should be carrying the shame.
I won't carry the shame. And I love that she took that upon herself.
Speaker 2 With the help of phone records and more than 20,000 videos and images taken from Dominique Pelico's computer files, the police were able to track down 50.
Speaker 2 of the more than 70 men suspected of raping Giselle. Last year, one of the most shocking rape trials in modern history, 51 men, took place in Avignon, France.
Speaker 2 Giselle Pellico took the stand to explain that she waived her right of anonymity and made her name and the horrific images public to stand up for other women who suspect they've been drugged and raped.
Speaker 2 She said she wants society to change the way it deals with rape and to shift the shame from the victim to the perpetrator.
Speaker 2 For this extraordinary act of bravery, Giselle became a hero in France and around the world.
Speaker 3 That's why she deserves all of our praise because she said she also, when was asked why wouldn't you change her last name after divorcing him? Because she divorced him last year. Where is it?
Speaker 3
Last year. She has divorced since the very first day of this trial.
Okay. September the 2nd.
Speaker 3 So she divorced him
Speaker 3 and
Speaker 3 still wanted to carry the name because
Speaker 3 she has grandchildren who will carry that name. And she said that she wanted that name not to be a name of shame, but a name of honor.
Speaker 3 And that's why she was standing up for herself so that the grandchildren could carry that name and that would be a name of honor. I just think that is magnificent that she was able to do that.
Speaker 3 To me, my mom is a hero. I mean, she's a hero.
Speaker 3 And in France, but I think everywhere else, we just have to be grateful for what she did. Yes.
Speaker 3 Because, you know, she worked in this court every day during four months to face all of these men, including Dominique,
Speaker 3 showing up all of his video.
Speaker 3 While they showed these videos,
Speaker 3 every day. Every day.
Speaker 3
And all the men testified. 50 men testified.
Yeah, 51. 51.
51 meaning Dominique, yes. Yeah.
And can you all imagine that? I mean, we were just hearing about it.
Speaker 3 I was reading about it in the New York Times, but I didn't realize that they were showing the tapes in the courtroom every day and that she had to sit there and witness that.
Speaker 3 And she went
Speaker 3 really every day, eight hours a day. Yeah.
Speaker 3 And
Speaker 3 she showed up really,
Speaker 3 she's strong.
Speaker 3 And the message behind is if she is able to do that
Speaker 3 while she is 72 years old,
Speaker 3 for all the other victims, invisible victims, they can do the same. Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 3 And it's not just victims of sexual assault. I mean, it's
Speaker 3
everything. It's anybody who has been afraid of standing up.
I just don't know anything.
Speaker 3 that is more courageous than that because you've got the whole world looking at you and saying, why didn't you know? I mean, even the family, you tell the story in I'll Never Call Him Dad Again.
Speaker 3 You tell the story of her being at the dinner table and your brother witnessing her falling out of the chair
Speaker 3 and
Speaker 3 your father saying, What about that?
Speaker 3 He said that she was really tired, she was really active, and uh because he spent uh 15 days with her children. And uh,
Speaker 3 so he was just telling them that, uh, telling him to the Florian that uh
Speaker 3 she was tired and we believed him because we trust Tidim. So
Speaker 3 he had drugged her. He drugged her during that dinner.
Speaker 3 Yeah, that evening. And Florian and his wife and his children were about to leave the house and to go back to Paris.
Speaker 3 So, you know, he did everything perfectly. It was...
Speaker 3 Every time well organized.
Speaker 3 You know? It was manipulated. It was manipulated.
Speaker 3
he had a real rhythm. He had a pattern to it.
Yeah. Yeah.
He had it down. Exactly.
Yeah. And the men knew where to come.
And
Speaker 3 he would tell the men, don't wear any cologne.
Speaker 3 Don't smoke. Don't smoke.
Speaker 3 Wash your hands and warm your hands before you come in because so that your cold hands don't disturb her in a way that she wakes up.
Speaker 3 And
Speaker 3 so she would come out of this stupor of being drugged and not have a memory of anything that had ever happened.
Speaker 3 But you know, most of the time, this is what happened for all of these victims.
Speaker 3 Because, you know, chemical submission is an underestimated
Speaker 3 health public issue in France. And some most of the time, the victims do not have any recollection or even no memories related to sexual assault.
Speaker 3 When you go over all of the evidence against your father with your family lawyer, you're struck by,
Speaker 3 I was struck by it too. You didn't use the language in the book, but I was just
Speaker 3 struck by the crude language your father uses
Speaker 3 to the other men when he's talking on the internet about his wife. He calls her.
Speaker 3 He calls her lots of really bad names. He uses the word slut a lot when referring to her.
Speaker 3
I read that someplace else. You did not put those words in the book.
Why did you choose not to include the language that your father had used to describe your mother? Because the story is
Speaker 3 tough enough.
Speaker 3
It's a kind of a shame to me. I didn't want to write those words.
It humiliated her.
Speaker 3 And I didn't want to write down those terrible words in my my book
Speaker 3 because I wanted to share my own story,
Speaker 3 I mean, our family story,
Speaker 3
but I'm my own condition with my own condition. Yeah, I got you.
This is a message of hope. Yes.
I got you. You know what I mean? Of course it is.
And so I just didn't want to
Speaker 3 put those words.
Speaker 3 But you know, when I read that he was using such crude language, I did say, why didn't you use words? But I thought, wow, so does he hate women?
Speaker 3 Does he hate women in general? Or did he just secretly hate his wife? What is your answer to that? That's a really good point, Aubran.
Speaker 3 Because, you know, to me, I think he's really
Speaker 3 clear detestation for all the women.
Speaker 3 I think
Speaker 3
he hates women. The position, you know, the position of the woman.
And I think it's related probably with his own mother, in his own family. I don't know.
Speaker 3 But he not
Speaker 3 do not have any respect.
Speaker 3 Certainly no respect for women.
Speaker 3 Or just that woman.
Speaker 3 I mean, I don't, I, you know what is so hard for, I mean, I'm sure it's troubling for you too, devastating,
Speaker 3 is how in one breath
Speaker 3 Because it sounds like when he says, you know,
Speaker 3 Giselle is the love of my life, that that he actually means that when he's saying that to his brothers or whatever, that she's been the love of my life.
Speaker 3
There's one part of him that believes that. Do you believe that? No.
You just think that's a part of him. He believes himself and, you know, it's so splitting too.
Speaker 3 Okay. No, I think he believes what he, what he says.
Speaker 3 But it's not
Speaker 3 tangible.
Speaker 3
It's not tangible. You couldn't possibly love somebody and do that to them.
No, no.
Speaker 3 In court, did he explain why he did it? Did he say it was a part of a fantasy? It was a part of a...
Speaker 3 He did it.
Speaker 3 What is his explanation for why he did that to your mother?
Speaker 3 He didn't give, you know,
Speaker 3 a lot of explanation.
Speaker 3 You know what? We don't even know the inaugural acts,
Speaker 3 meaning the first time that he started to drug her for helping her we do not know even after four months of this trial he wouldn't tell the truth he didn't I mean
Speaker 3 and I think he didn't tell the truth but I think he wouldn't tell the truth he wouldn't tell the truth he wouldn't tell the truth I think he's gonna die with a lot of secrets dark secrets
Speaker 3 have you Caroline come to terms with
Speaker 3 not
Speaker 3 knowing what really happened to you or do you think you know what happened to you?
Speaker 3 Are you has that has that been resolved for yourself?
Speaker 3 I know that I
Speaker 3
was drugged. You know you were drugged.
I know. That's the, to me,
Speaker 3 it's a deep conviction right from the start.
Speaker 3 Well, you know you're drugged because you can see yourself in the picture.
Speaker 3
So I'm drugged. on those pictures, so I know it happened.
But the real question is why?
Speaker 3 And when you know the criminal past of dominique pedicule didn't he say he just wanted to look at just wanted to look at you he didn't he didn't say anything oh okay
Speaker 3 anything so i will uh i will
Speaker 2 i will have to live with that doubt all my life next as my conversation with caroline darion continues we speak with a mom in minnesota whose case is eerily similar she discovered videos on her husband's flash drive that would upend her marriage and her life.
Speaker 2 In her first American interview, I'm speaking with Caroline Darion, a French woman coming to terms with the vile actions of her father, which she details in her new book, I'll Never Call Him Dad Again.
Speaker 3 I think it's important for all of us to note that Caroline's family's case
Speaker 3 made global headlines because it was so extreme, and her father was caught with over 20,000 pieces of evidence.
Speaker 3 Authority has told us that these types of drug-induced intimate partner crimes are on the rise, but are extremely difficult to detect and, of course, to prosecute.
Speaker 3
And so, before this interview, I asked Carolyn if she would be okay if we invited Jenny Thiessen to our conversation, and she said yes. Jenny now joins us from Minnesota.
Hi, Jenny.
Speaker 3 I know you've been watching and listening and can relate to Caroline's story. You were married, I understand, to your college sweetheart for 12 years, and then you made a shocking discovery.
Speaker 3 What was it?
Speaker 4 Yeah, thank you so much for having me. I'm really grateful to be in this conversation with the two of you.
Speaker 4 Yeah, so I was traveling for work and it was a quick trip. So I grabbed a backpack from our closet.
Speaker 4 It happened to be one of my husband's, but we both used it and packed it, went on the trip, did all the travels, came back and was going through each pocket and pulling the toiletries out.
Speaker 4 And in one of the pockets, I discovered a flash drive that wasn't one I had seen or neither of us had used.
Speaker 4 And so I plugged it in and I discovered that there was eight videos on that flash drive. And six of them were of my husband videotaping his coworkers.
Speaker 4 He was a vice president of a bank and they had a single stall employee bathroom and he was recording his coworkers going to the bathroom. And then there was two additional videos on there of
Speaker 4 me getting out of the shower and then one of us having sex that I was not aware of.
Speaker 3 And what did you, what was your immediate reaction to that?
Speaker 4 Honestly,
Speaker 4 this sounds awful, but it was my golden ticket.
Speaker 4 It was throughout our marriage, there was so many red flags and there were so many things that I discovered and found, but he always had a way to blame me that it was my fault that he did this or it was my fault that he did that.
Speaker 4 And for the first time, I had something that wasn't,
Speaker 4
had nothing to do with me. There was no way I was not there.
I was not videotaping his coworkers. So this was the first time that
Speaker 4 it sounds so silly because there was no reason to have an excuse for all of the other things, but it was truly, it was shocking, and
Speaker 4 it was also my way out.
Speaker 3 I hear when you filed for divorce, your lawyers told you to take a closer look at your home computer. And what did you find there?
Speaker 4 Yeah, so
Speaker 4 through our marriage, there was lots of consensual photos. And
Speaker 4 when I clicked through
Speaker 4 all of the photos on our laptop, there was
Speaker 4 double the amount of non-consensual photos and videos. And I was tasked with clicking on each single one,
Speaker 4 like Caroline's story, folders and folders and folders deep,
Speaker 4 and came across a video of my vagina.
Speaker 4 And I clicked on it. and I discovered that he was underneath the covers with the lights on and he was penetrating my vagina with a dildo and my legs were limp and he crawls through the covers.
Speaker 4 He stops penetrating me. He crawls through the covers and
Speaker 4 pans in on my face and my face is on my pillow. My mouth is open and it is clear that I am incapacitated.
Speaker 4 As he panned the wider image out, my son was laying on the same pillow as me in the video while he's raping me.
Speaker 3
He's raping you and you were drugged. And this was used during your court case.
We also asked Caroline ahead of this time if she's okay for us to show this. So, can we roll this tape, okay?
Speaker 3 And you tell us, what are we seeing here?
Speaker 4 Let's say
Speaker 3 we're in an
Speaker 4 times where he is checking to make sure that I'm passed out.
Speaker 4 And
Speaker 4 as you can see, I am clearly incapacitated.
Speaker 3 Do you recall any of this? Do you recall any of this at all?
Speaker 4 So actually that instance,
Speaker 4 absolutely, none of the, when I am out cold in any of these, I do not, just like Caroline's story, it's so relatable. I do not, it's out of body is the only way I can describe it.
Speaker 4 But that specific instance when we were in Anguilla, we had gone to a bar. We scooped we were scuba divers, so we weren't cocktailing it up.
Speaker 4
And I had ordered a piña colada and I needed to go to the bathroom. So I told my husband, you know, hey, watch my drink.
I'm gonna run to the bathroom.
Speaker 4 And I came right back and I took a sip through the straw and on my tongue, through the straw, there was this toxic, poisonous taste. And it was a half of a pill.
Speaker 4
And it was disintegrating on my tongue. And I said, oh my gosh, I've been drugged.
Please, you know, help. I've been drugged.
Speaker 4 And he looked at me and he took his, the palm of his hand and he slammed it on my knee and he said, Jen, calm down.
Speaker 4 I said, calm down. You want me to calm down?
Speaker 2 Someone just drugged my drink.
Speaker 4 Like you can see the pill. You could actually tell it was broken in half because it still was intact.
Speaker 4 And he said, calm down.
Speaker 4 It must have been, and he goes into his shirt pocket, the other half of my ambient must have fallen out as I was reaching over the bar to grab something from behind the bar.
Speaker 3 Oh.
Speaker 4 And I remember going, that is crazy. That does not make sense.
Speaker 4 None of it does, but also I'm on vacation. I'm with my husband,
Speaker 2 who I trust.
Speaker 4 But I remember in hindsight, so seeing that video just went, well, this makes sense.
Speaker 3 Yeah.
Speaker 3 And I wanted to say to everybody, we're showing the video with your permission, not to exploit the story, but just to see how it happens.
Speaker 3 I remember when I saw it for the first time, I'm sure you felt had similar feelings. It's just so
Speaker 3 vile and creepy and disgusting that someone you're sleeping next to every night, whom you trust, could do that to you.
Speaker 4 Exactly.
Speaker 4 This is supposed to be the person who protects me the most, you know, my greatest protector. And here I am in bed next to them and they are putting me in harm.
Speaker 3 Well, you will see yourself many times over, and I'll never call him dad again
Speaker 3 because you're you, I
Speaker 3 have to say that when we saw this story that became a global story, I think a lot of people were thinking, oh, well, that could never happen here in the United States.
Speaker 3
Not only did it happen, it's like right there in the heart of Minnesota. So thank you so much for sharing your story.
Thank you, Jenny. Thank you so much.
Speaker 3 It's really important to get your testimonial and to make understand
Speaker 3 that
Speaker 3 the case of my mom and our family is not an isolated one.
Speaker 3 And
Speaker 3
I'm really grateful. Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Speaker 3 Have you healed from this? Have you healed from this?
Speaker 4 I don't think healed is the right word.
Speaker 4
I continue to move on. I'm a single mom.
I do my best,
Speaker 4 but it's still ongoing. We're eight years post-divorce, and I'm actually in court tomorrow again for our post-divorce, still fighting for the safety of myself and my kids.
Speaker 2 Ginny Thiessen was first told that her ex-husband, Matthew Heger, would be charged with a felony, which could put him in prison for up to 15 years.
Speaker 2 However, the felony charge was dropped because of a little-known marital rape loophole in Minnesota law.
Speaker 2 Despite being found guilty of a variety of crimes, Heger served less than 30 days in jail for the crimes he committed against Jenny and his former coworkers.
Speaker 2 Although it was too late for her case, Jenny fought for a bill in Minnesota to remove any protections for spouses who rape their partners. In 2019, Governor Tim Waltz signed the bill into law.
Speaker 3 Okay, so the wrong word is heal. I would agree with that.
Speaker 3 Have you been able to carry on in a way that your life feels like it's still hopeful and that you will be able to one day put this behind you. You're not defined by it is what I'm trying to say.
Speaker 4
Amen. Absolutely.
I am not defined by this. This will not define who I am as a person.
Absolutely not. I think as a parent,
Speaker 4 it is most important to show my children strength and positivity and also speaking out.
Speaker 3 What do you say to your children about this? Because,
Speaker 3 you know,
Speaker 3 in Caroline's case, she and her brothers were older. They're adults with their own families and children.
Speaker 3 But when you have teenage children and this is their father who has done this despicable, disgusting thing to you, and you are fighting in the courts, not only fighting in the courts, I want to say you got the marital rape laws changed in Minnesota.
Speaker 3 How do you explain this to your children?
Speaker 4 Yeah, so when this all started, they were five and nine, and so at a very different life point in their life. And I ended up, I did change the law in Minnesota.
Speaker 4 There was a loophole on our books that said at the time that if you were married or cohabitating at the time of offense under the subheading of incapacitated, that you could not be charged.
Speaker 4 And so I did change the law and there was a lot of press around that. So I ended up having, at nine years old with my daughter and of course working with therapists the sex talk and a talk about rape
Speaker 4 pretty much in the same breath. And for my son and for both of them it was around boundaries.
Speaker 4 And the analogy that I used with my son is if you're pushing someone on a swing and they say stop, you stop.
Speaker 4
You honor their no, you honor their stop. You honor the boundary.
And for my daughter with the rape conversation, it was about owning your body.
Speaker 4 And your body, you have the rights to your body, whether you're married, in a relationship, you own the rights to what happens to yourself and you get to choose.
Speaker 4 So that was a big part of the conversation I had with her at the time.
Speaker 3
Well, thank you for standing up for not just yourself and your daughter, but for all the daughters. Thank you.
Thank you, Jenny.
Speaker 3
Thank you. In your book, you include a hypothetical letter to your father.
Can you read us an excerpt from that?
Speaker 3 Okay.
Speaker 3 The other thing for us, your children, is to admit that you never knew who you were.
Speaker 3 You, from what we were thought, a good, honest, loyal man, betrayed us, shouldn't sacrifice us to your dark side, thinking you were smart enough to play by your own rules and not get caught.
Speaker 3 I keep telling myself that you must have lost all love and respect for us along, long time ago, in order to be able to inflict such horrors upon us.
Speaker 3 You demolished the one family you had, giving no thought to how much we might prize it.
Speaker 3
I loved you and respected you. I helped you as any daughter would have who felt grateful towards her father.
You never kept us your end of the bargain. You refused to be a real father or grandfather.
Speaker 3 I'll never be able to forgive you. And that's just something I have to learn to live with.
Speaker 3 So how have you learned to live with it?
Speaker 3 I'm fighting.
Speaker 3 You know
Speaker 3 I threw
Speaker 3 myself body and soul into the
Speaker 3 this fight against you know chemical submission
Speaker 3 and to me it became I think
Speaker 3 one of the most important missions of my life.
Speaker 3 I needed to make something more noble.
Speaker 3 The campaign is Stop Chemical Submission. Don't put me under.
Speaker 2 In 2023, Caroline launched the Movement to Stop Chemical Submission, Don't Put Me Under,
Speaker 2 to help rape victims who had been drugged and to raise awareness of this issue among medical professionals and the general public.
Speaker 3 And what is the mission? What is the goal? The mission is to drive awareness about the SL's public issue, and the mission is to say to all the victims, all the invisible victims, to speak up and to
Speaker 3 let them know that
Speaker 3 they have to come forward
Speaker 3 because there will be a listen to, but also believe, because it's really important for them to know that
Speaker 3 and to be supportive. And
Speaker 3 one of the most
Speaker 3 biggest tasks that we have, you know, as a
Speaker 3 with our charity is to make understand to the government, but also to the health professionals that they have a key role to play.
Speaker 3
They have to be trained to better dif detect and identify those cases. Yes, if somebody comes in and they're having blackouts and blackouts and blackouts.
Blackouts, amnesia, weight loss, hair loss.
Speaker 3 Yeah.
Speaker 3 Because there are so many consequences when you are a victim of chemical submission. You can get traffic accidents,
Speaker 3 unwanted pregnancies,
Speaker 3 addiction, and so on, you know.
Speaker 3 So it's really important to raise awareness, to really raise awareness about this.
Speaker 3
Chemical submission. So I was so struck how you writed the book.
I'll never call him dad again, how you write about the two women in the grocery store.
Speaker 3 I mean, if the two women at the grocery store had never pressed charges against him for filming up their dress, none of this would have been discovered.
Speaker 3 I mean, I worry and wonder what would have happened to your mom. She just continued to have been drugged and eventually, what would all of those drugs have done to her brain?
Speaker 3 What would those drugs have done to her? She probably could have died. Yeah.
Speaker 3
Yeah. And nobody would have known.
And we wouldn't never have known.
Speaker 2 In December 2024, a French court found Dominique Pelico guilty of repeatedly drugging and raping his wife and orchestrating her rape by dozens of other men.
Speaker 2 He was given the maximum sentence of 20 years in prison.
Speaker 2 All 50 of Dominique Pellico's co-defendants were also found guilty of rape, attempted rape, or sexual assault, and received sentences ranging from three to fifteen years.
Speaker 3 You say that for years now you've been trying to find a new way to exist.
Speaker 3 And during the trial, you also asked, how are you supposed to rebuild yourself from the ruins when you know your father is the worst sexual predator of the past 20 years?
Speaker 3 How are you managing to rebuild your life? Your son was six at the time. Now he's 10.
Speaker 3 Your son was really close to his grandfather. You too, just like Jenny, had to tell your son about his grandfather being in jail
Speaker 3 and
Speaker 3 try to carry on with your life. How have you been able to rebuild?
Speaker 3 I'm a positive woman. I'm a positive woman and I'm an active woman.
Speaker 3 One of the things which really helped me to go beyond is really the engagement that I have with this charity. But, you know, I had a chance to get really well supported by my husband and by my son.
Speaker 3 And today,
Speaker 3 what's the most important
Speaker 3 things to me is really my own family.
Speaker 3 Because you know, the one that I have before
Speaker 3 it's over.
Speaker 3 So, one of the most important things and precious things to me is really my husband and my
Speaker 3 son,
Speaker 3 and also all of my friends.
Speaker 3 How is your mother? How is she now? I know she moved out of the house.
Speaker 3 You all moved her out of that house shortly, you know, after all of this happened, and she moved to another area and another neighborhood and is driving again because at one point she didn't even feel
Speaker 3
safe to drive because she didn't understand where the blackouts were coming from or when she would have a blackout. So I understand she's back to driving again.
But how is she? She is safe.
Speaker 3 She
Speaker 3
is a strong woman. She's an independent woman.
She is well supported by, you know, her friends and family. Do you all talk about this?
Speaker 3 Yes. We talked about this.
Speaker 3 How does she feel about this book? She read this book and
Speaker 3 she wasn't really comfortable right from the start, but she understood also that
Speaker 3 it was really important to me.
Speaker 3 How is the family relationship? Are you all, would you say, not as close as you used to be? This certainly, from what you wrote in the book, didn't make you closer.
Speaker 3 So, has it still created its distances amongst you and the family? I think this
Speaker 3 terrible story
Speaker 3 split artists in two.
Speaker 3 And so, my mom and me, we are now rebuilding from our side because I can't think we can help each other.
Speaker 3 And so, what's your message now to people who either have experienced something like this, or the reason why you wanted to share your story and to put it into words that would last forever is because you want people to know what, Caroline?
Speaker 3 I just want them to know that they can speak up,
Speaker 3 speak out,
Speaker 3 and
Speaker 3 they also have to
Speaker 3 trust themselves.
Speaker 3 Know that
Speaker 3
they are precious. Yes.
Their voice
Speaker 3 are really precious.
Speaker 3 And
Speaker 3 this is only altogether whatever is in France, in Europe, or even in the US, you know, thanks to Jenny's testimony,
Speaker 3 that
Speaker 3 we have to make things change.
Speaker 3 Yes.
Speaker 3 So I just wanted to say to all of the invisible victims that that they have to uh come forward and to speak up.
Speaker 3 Yes. And you know, one of the things
Speaker 3 that I think, you know, nothing this horrible ever happened to me, and I know many of you who will read, I'll never call him dad again. Hopefully nothing
Speaker 3 so
Speaker 3 egregious and despicable ever happens to you. But I think what you said said earlier in the hypothetical letter to your father is true.
Speaker 3 When you have been betrayed and severely betrayed by someone, the hardest thing for anybody who has experienced that kind of betrayal is to admit that you actually never knew who
Speaker 3 you were.
Speaker 3 And
Speaker 3 especially if it's somebody you thought was a good and honest person, and to have to admit to yourself, you know what?
Speaker 3
I just didn't know. I didn't know who you were.
And be able to forgive yourself for that and be able to, as Jenny said, to move forward. I thank you so much, Caroline.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
Speaker 3 For coming all of this way. And thank you, Jenny
Speaker 3 Teason, too, for joining us from Minnesota. The book is, I'll never call him Dad Again.
Speaker 3 And as you have heard from this conversation, it is a riveting and a harrowing read. It is available now on Amazon.
Speaker 3 And I want to take a moment to say: if you or you are or you suspect you are the victim of a sexual assault,
Speaker 3 if what we have said here today sounds familiar to you, blacking out and can't remember things and this doesn't make sense and all of that, the signals, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline.
Speaker 3 There's the number on your screen. 1-800-656-4673.
Speaker 3 Go well.
Speaker 3
You can subscribe to the Oprah podcast on YouTube and follow us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. I'll see you next week.
Thanks, everybody.