Episode 178: The Bermuda Triangle

Oh, I like this.

I like this art.

This is very nice.

It's quite Eldritch horror, kind of, you know, like the board game.

Oh, I got it from the same place.

I get a lot of stuff, which is Google Images.

Well, actually, no, I got it from DuckDuckGo Images.

Introducing image attribution for the first time in the history of the podcast, we will respect intellectual property in the sense that we'll put a little bar up that says we got this off of searching on DuckDuckGo.

It's it's it's educational use.

Um, you know, I was just saying you filter by commercial use only just to like fuck with the system.

Okay.

Wait, is everything's going, right?

Oh, right.

We need to do a sync pipe.

Sync point.

Three, two, one, mark.

Okay, close enough.

All right.

Well, hello.

And welcome to, well, there's your problem.

It's a podcast about engineering disasters with slides.

I'm Justin Roznack.

I'm the person who's talking right now.

My pronouns are he and him.

Okay, go.

I'm November Kelly.

I'm the person who's talking now.

My pronouns are she and her.

Yay, Liam?

No.

Oh, no.

The guy who got real mad at me the last time I was on is gonna be real fucking pissed.

He said, What the first time I was ever hurt by a comment said, Will Poopy Pants ever finish a fucking sentence?

Well, there, I just finished one, you fucking asshole.

I love the podcast that gets legitimately like wounded by our comments.

So fuck you.

I'm Tom Payne.

My pronouns are he, him.

And just so you know, there is a power that I know that Nova has where you can be unpersoned.

So you can be talking in the comments and be like, oh, I can't wait to make my latest comments on the YouTube page.

No, no, they were never made.

Not only can

they

remove the comments.

They remove all of your comments you've ever made across this channel.

You don't get a notification.

They just go.

Yes.

You can keep talking, but you're talking into a void.

Much like the void that we see here.

I was about to say, what you see on the screen is a map with a spooky triangle on it.

It's bad map design.

Very spooky.

So, and this spooky triangle shouldn't be like that because it's basically just like every other piece of ocean out there, you know, extremely dangerous.

in all the normal ocean ways.

But this one has been made spooky by popular culture because people like to say horrible things happened here and like half of them happened over here at Cape Hatteras.

Or by the Azores.

Yeah.

Today we're going to talk about the Bermuda Triangle.

That's a kind of production, I mean, yeah.

I mean, we'll see.

We'll see.

I could just go over and start like hitting random keys on the piano until I get it right.

The piano that I, that is now where I keep my Star Trek books.

Hell yeah.

And yeah, if we forget a Halloween episode, we'll just re-release this one.

I think we can come up with a second spooky thing.

Ah, yeah, the North Atlantic rectangle.

Assuming things are still going in

October, which we'll get to.

Yeah.

In a segment that we call the goddamn news.

Jarring shift in tone here.

Very large earthquake in Myanmar and Thailand on March the 28th.

Looking at like 2,700 people dead.

God knows how many injured.

And everyone was sending me this video, which was a huge skyscraper under construction fell down on video, I think, in Bangkok.

But like

because

Myanmar, Burma is a completely closed country because of the military dictatorship and the civil war, very, very difficult to even find out what's happening, let alone to get aid in.

the I remember the Chinese Red Cross sent in a convoy that then somebody shot at.

Um, oh, my God.

This is not the worst, uh, like place for getting shot at if you're in the Red Cross or whatever that stuff.

What are they?

The IDF?

I

mean, I know that the Burmese, uh, the dictatorship bought Pegasus spyware from Israel, so yeah, kind of.

I mean, is that

I guess so.

I'm just wondering, like, okay, you put up a building that tall, surely you're following earthquake codes.

Like, I don't understand how this happens.

I assume it's just the same way it happens anywhere else, just corruption, which is you, you know, you go, yeah, we're totally, we're following the earthquake codes, not knowing or caring if the earthquake's going to happen because you're making your money now.

Um, and then and then building fall down

and that kind of corruption that leads to a like a spirit of corruption at the core of the nation, which leads to God's wrath.

Oh, exactly.

I'm, but my name is not Tom Pangloss, by the way.

Um,

But yeah,

it was a big earthquake, too.

It was like 7.7.

7.7, yeah.

Which I mean, okay.

There have definitely been earthquakes that big where the damage

has not been incredibly catastrophic in quite the same way.

Like I, I, I just don't expect buildings this big to fall down in earthquakes.

But apparently I've been proven wrong.

You know, there's a certain certain size of building where I expect you to do your due diligence.

There's always a guy willing to undercut you.

There's always a landlord, and I fucking hate landlords.

I fucking hate landlords partly because skyscraper collapsed, partly because mine's trying to kick me out of my home.

But like, yeah.

Also, like, I don't think of Myanmar as being a particularly like seismically active place, I guess.

I mean, I know they have them, but like, not huge ones like you think of in like the, you know,

Pacific Rim or whatever, right?

Well, I mean, at least here in the United States, where we have international building code, and it's international because it's used in the United States and Canada, you know, like the Wilmeries.

Yeah, exactly.

Um, the uh, you know,

even at places where earthquakes are comparatively rare, like the earthquake code is still the governing code.

Like, if you're putting up a new building, like here in Philly, you're still like, you know, preparing for it to withstand like a 7.0 because those do happen every couple hundred years.

Yeah.

and I guess, you know, now is the couple of hundred years.

Apparently the skyscraper was still being built.

So at least there weren't, you know, people.

That is, there were, there were construction workers in there.

So 70, some are missing, 30, some are dead.

Jesus.

This does seem to be like a one-off.

There wasn't any other collapse of this magnitude, to my knowledge.

I found myself fascinated by the number of Infinity Pool skyscrapers and the footage of them spilling their contents out to the street.

That was a weird, that's a weird thing.

I don't think it's been very common in earthquakes in the past.

It's that's a real like I've seen footage kind of moment, right?

Like the 4U page is lit.

You're seeing a bunch of infinity pools get like dumped out onto the street.

That's underneath the infinity pool.

That's maybe what's saving those buildings from falling down is that the infinity pool is acting as a tuned mass damper and therefore dampening the shaking of the building.

This is a structural infinity pool.

So on the one hand, the infinity pool calls down God's wrath, causing the earthquake.

But on the other, the infinity pool attenuates the

experience of the earthquake.

I guess my other guy's...

The infinity pool just gets increasingly more and more disgusting because you can't drain it to clean it because then the building would fall down.

Oh, God.

This is our building swamp.

Yeah.

Just full of beer cans and shit.

It's all about natural, natural ecosystem.

What's that that one lagoon that they built Lagos around that is just now filled with trash?

It's like that, but like 50 stories up.

My question was like, how, like, even if you're following the codes, right?

Whatever international codes there are.

If you're still building it,

how resilient can you plausibly make it?

Or is that just, because I don't know anything about construction.

I would figure, okay, so this appeared to be a reinforced concrete structure.

So probably like the top two stories we're still carrying.

everything else should have been pretty close to final strength i mean after that it's just interior furnishings and like uh you know cladding and they're putting in the like one the one like easy chair that makes the building you know uh proof against earthquakes well

i i suppose that the top two floors like pancake maybe that's too much weight the whole thing comes down but i don't want to steal i don't want to like preempt nova's question but had they entered the rigidification stage of construction which i imagine is how they keep it the kind of Kerbal Space Program thing where once you've kind of constructed the frame, you put a bunch of struts on everything so it doesn't like wobble too much.

It just looks like you duct tape the whole thing together.

I mean, did they, did they, did they work?

I mean, we might find that they didn't use any duct tape.

I mean, that would be pretty concerning.

Maybe like

concrete and rebar, but no duct tape.

Come on.

They use the like Soviet equivalent, that like sticky blue tape that isn't as good.

Well, I mean, if

you

if you hadn't installed the HVAC yet, then you definitely wouldn't be using any duct tape because duct tape is for ducks.

Makes sense.

Yeah.

What about goose tape?

They're for geese, yes.

That's what you want.

Taping geesey maniac.

Taping geese together into a goose king.

Horrible.

That's the sequel to Untitled Goose Game, Untitled Goose King Game.

It's a lot more body horror.

Yeah, there's species.

real betrayal the anarchism the goose represented like makes it well i mean that and that this goes for for part since liam's not here we could just say you know that goes for par for anarchism yes betraying the revolution

and speaking of body horror this killed like i mean overall what like 5 000 people we think

uh last estimate i saw was 2 700 dead i had no idea how many injured um again the estimates out of myanmar slash perma we don't know it's just a real bad time when you're already having a civil war Like, there's never a good time to have an earthquake, but I feel like if you're, you know, dodging fucking kamikaze drones and shit,

and you're like, man,

I wish there was, you know, something other than a civil war going on right now.

And then you get your wish because God saw too many infinity pools.

Well, all I can say is, you know, thank God I don't live in a closed country.

In other news,

wait, no, fuck.

Sliders.

Yeah.

So,

Donald John Trump has restored stability to America's business community.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

In a month's time, the Patreon is going to cost $200 just so we don't starve.

Yeah, if we raise the price, it's because of this.

I'm so sorry.

Please, please do not cancel your Patreons.

Even if you are reduced to wearing a barrel and like scavenging garbage, we also need money.

Please.

Well, Diogenes is welcome to decision.

It would be because Patreon increased fees.

Also, yes.

Yeah, Patreon tariffs.

Because Jack Conto from Pomplamoose also needs to eat.

Yeah, that's true.

So our president has

introduced a large number of these uniquely tailored reciprocal tariffs to all of the countries in the world, including those that are only inhabited by United States soldiers and including those which are only inhabited by penguins.

This is very troubling to me, a Marxist, because I thought for a long time, right, that like capital does stuff.

People don't do stuff.

There's fucking deep states at work.

There's material interests.

And then I sat through like two months of Trump wrecking American foreign policy.

like decades worth of it without any like foreign policy deep state assassinating him.

And now he's doing the same for the economy.

And I don't think the economy deep state's going assassinate him either so uh maybe maybe just you can do whatever you want you know and marks failed to account for orange man bad these these these tariffs have been just sort of arbitrarily slapped on based on a very simple mathematical formula which is like uh trade surplus minus trade deficit over trade deficit or something like that yeah the the deputy the deputy press secretary for the administration admitted this while trying to deny it um because he said no it's it's not that it's X minus Y over Z with some like Greek symbols.

Yeah, with some with the, you know, there was some kind of like elasticity modifier and some kind of other economic bullshit on the denominator.

It was epsilon and a phi.

I remember that much.

And one of them was set at four, and the other one was set at a quarter, which, of course, multiplies to one.

There's the other, the other thing is, if you ask ChatGPT how to like balance the budget, this is what it will tell you to do verbatim.

And the list of countries is equivalent to list of country top-level domains.

Can I ask about

these countries?

Because what's really, really bothering my OCD is they're not sorted by

the alphabetical name of the country.

They're not sorted by the tariff charge to the United States.

And they're not sorted by the tariff.

There's no logical reason to the sorting.

and that to that that is the to me absolutely fucking insane no one there was like all right we can we sort this table no one knows how to sort a fucking table in whatever canva or whatever bullshit they use now i wonder if it's like volume of exports by value i i really like the the reciprocal tariffs drop shadow that's cool that's graphic design to me i uh i oh yeah

um so yeah like China's already doing like reciprocal tariffs.

The EU is going to do reciprocal tariffs.

This is going to cause a recession immediately.

And it's going to be real bad.

And anyone who thinks that it isn't is lying to themselves.

However,

it's 10% drop already, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Stonks bad.

I mean, it's a real kind of like, listen up, liberal, crashes the economy.

This is the place where I am because I started panicking about this a few weeks ago.

Yeah, well, you know, I mean,

I subscribe to very few publications I have to pay for, one of which is Railway Age,

where I read an article about a letter that the American Association of State Highway and Transportation Officials sent to the president saying, you know, hey, we love you.

We love government efficiency.

We love all this stuff because ASHTO is a pretty conservative trade organization overall.

And then they were like, hey, could you approve some of these environmental reviews that have to go through so we can get on with these highway projects?

And that's when I realized, oh, shit, we're just doing government by control F.

They just said, oh, that's environment.

That's woke.

We need to shut that down entirely.

They're doing it by edit fine.

They don't know how control F.

Yeah, exactly.

So it's like, okay,

no kind of approval for any kind of project that requires federal approval anywhere in the United States is going on.

And that's public and private industry.

Like, how are you supposed to do anything

unless you just like decide, okay, I'm going to install my like multi-million dollar, you know, power generation unit or a transformer or a, you know, a chemical process unit or a blast furnace or something without getting any kind of the legal approvals you need.

Because just because they fired everyone doesn't mean the regulations are off the books.

You still have to do compliance.

I mean, even if the president says, Look, I'm issuing an executive order, it says crime is legal now.

You have to go then to get someone to underwrite your huge investment so that you can get a loan for it, which means you now have to go to Lloyds of London and say, Listen, I know we can't do any of the legal compliance.

Maybe this will change in four years if the administration changes.

But right now, get this, guys.

Crime is legal now.

How much to underwrite this shit?

Fucking God.

I genuinely like.

So what you're suggesting here is not just the podcast costs $200 a month, but also that we have to deliver it by telegraph because there's no electricity.

Yeah, this is where I am is that like, okay, it's not so much like these tariffs are going to, you know, cost the economy billions of dollars and you're going to lose your retirement savings.

You know, I'm looking at this and combined with the demise of the regulatory state, these people aren't even going to be able to keep the power grid running.

These people aren't going to keep water systems running.

You're going to get cholera.

The preppers were right, but for the dumbest possible reason.

And most of them voted for the guy who made it happen.

Yeah.

I just, so, so, okay, right.

The pot, we got to keep going, right?

Continuity of government.

We got to have our own kind of Raven Rock situation here.

The podcast keeps transmitting through the form of telegraphs, right?

Or

wax cylinders, ham radios, whatever the fuck it is.

And then you mail us gold, like physical gold speech travelers checks and but and by mail obviously there's no postal service so you you do like uh ancom uh like not even ancom like ancap kind of you form a contract with a bunch of mercenaries to uh like escort a convoy full of your gold to us every month all right and then and then you get a wax cylinder back Hear me out.

I'm going to form some sort of

like organization, some sort of compact.

Maybe we can call it a company that we were gonna, I'm gonna trade, uh-huh, maybe, maybe with Britain.

And since it's Britain's east of the United States, we'll call it like the East Britain trade company.

And this sounds like a flawless idea.

Yeah, and we're going to have paid, you know, we're going to have Black Rock, not Black Rock, Black Rock will probably evolve too, but what is Z Academy?

Blackwater.

Blackwater called now.

So we're going to have Punisher Skull guys instead of like Royal Marines.

Yeah.

And

we're going to have packets again, which I'm really excited because packets, like, oh, you like internet packets?

You think TCP IP is nice?

No, we're going back to the original packet.

Top sail schooners and

just real fast, weatherly ships that are weatherly and stick by the board.

Any listener of ours who lives by a coast is going to be out on the widow's walk of their house looking for the podcast.

Looking for the podcast.

Waiting for the pod to come.

We'll have only a marginally worse release schedule than now.

And since tuberculosis will, like, the consumption will will return.

So we're going to have a lot of like, you know, like very romantic, you know, dark, dark-haired, dark-eyed like women on the, on the widows.

You know, we're going to be inclusive.

It's going to be everybody.

Yeah.

Just we're all going to be like hot goths, but but we're wasting away.

Yes.

Yeah.

Without podcasts.

Oh, I declare if I only had just one more,

one more listen to that podcast.

The thing is, right?

Just news that it was coming or not.

The other thing is, for a long time, it was like actually a really, really helpful thing to me because I live in Britain, which is a shithole country in a different way, slightly.

But because of the podcast and thanks to listeners like you, NPR Voice, I get paid predominantly in dollars, which

used to be great.

And now I'm wearing the barrel of despair.

So

I'm not sure what to do about that.

Can we make Patreon start charging in like Renminby?

I mean, theoretically, the tariffs should be deflationary, but that is so far not played out.

Okay.

Well, I guess we'll have to see what happens and what my like barrel status is.

In the meantime, you might be wearing a gilded barrel.

Yeah.

Yeah.

In the meantime, all I can ask is please do not cancel your Patreon, no matter how desperate your finances get personally.

And please do not die of cholera.

Or if you do die of cholera, keep it so like auto-renews for as long as possible.

Yeah.

I'm just, I'm on the cholera cut, like, just waiting.

I'm laying in bed.

My wife, my wife is doing the widow's walk.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Walking longingly out to see.

You're having a horrible cholera death.

You're vomiting, you're coughing, you're pissing, you're shitting, and then your phone goes off, and you're like, oh, Nebo, that's your problem.

And then you go back to the coughing and so forth.

Well, no, it's coming over on the packet ship.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.

With our

privateers who all have scurvy.

I mean, it's weird with Britain specifically, because on the one hand, weirdly, the Brexit people were right in the sense that Trump is much madder at the EU than he is at us.

And so they get double the tariffs that we do.

But on the other hand, when the EU invents the European equivalent to Patreon, Patrion,

obviously we are not invited, right?

And a bunch of rimless glasses guys in grey suits are going to be laughing at me in my barrel.

All those smug airport fucks.

Yeah, like it's going to be a bunch of smug airport fucks inventing voila, votre probleme.

And then I'm gonna I'm gonna be over here starving to death like you motherfuckers.

I'm gonna be, we're all gonna be the airport in barrels as like some fucking Italian in a goddamn suit

just wanders by perfectly tussled hair, you know, looks like he just gets, you know, he spent eight hours on it, but it looks like he just, you know, just mocking us, you know.

I really do appreciate though.

This will fully make Britain into Revashol, and I appreciate that much.

It's also one thing particularly is this is a war on treats, right?

Like, and guys like Lutnick and Besson say this openly, like, what they want is to get America off of its fix of like cheap treats, cheap debt, and all the rest of it, right?

Which is a little bit like saying, I need to get away from my, like, I have rigged a poker deck and being like, I got to get off this like ace fixation of mine.

Um, but it also specifically, it's a, it's a, it's a like, uh, it's a shoe detox because

after the last round of tariffs, Nike, Adidas, and a bunch of others moved all of their production out of China because China was going to get tariffed up the ass, to Vietnam and Taiwan, which as you see here are rows three and four on the beautiful Canva charts.

It's like you can't move a shoe factory very easily.

You can't hire labor for a shoe factory very easily.

Americans don't want to like sew shoes together.

And it's not economical to pay American wages to do that.

I'm going to paper clip a bunch of Italian cobblers.

They still have cobblers in that nation.

There are American sweatshops, but they are they're still more expensive to run and the conditions are horrible.

Yeah.

You're going to have to buy exclusively American footwear, which in practice means like

three different boot manufacturers.

So if you're a big like, you know, whites like Pacific Northwest logging boot type of guy, it's going to be great for you.

If you're a a Georgia boot stan then yeah, sure but like the red wing guy the buy-it-for-life reddit guy.

Yeah, oh, he's in the land of Taram in America before he heard about this and is now kind of achieving exit velocity and heading somewhere towards fucking Venus everyday carry guys right now are just absolutely just they're pumped.

They're pumped.

Yeah, the three things that you build in America.

My meat and cheese budget is going to go through the roof.

I'm, you know, this is going to seriously affect me.

I'm not buying American pasta.

Fuck that.

One of the dumbest guys in the crowded field, Tim Poole,

I saw him tweet yesterday.

We should just ban all imports until we figure out what's going on.

It's like, okay, cool.

Enjoy finding a place in America where you can grow coffee.

That'll be great.

Yep.

Or like bananas.

What did they use during the Civil War?

Was it Carib or something?

Yeah, like chicory or something.

Yeah.

Chicory.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I love, like, our life is going to be conditions conditions in fucking Andersonville.

I'm looking at Trump here, and he doesn't look great as well.

He looks like a photo negative of Ronald McDonald.

I was going to say he reminds me of Mr.

Popo from Dragon Ball Z.

Get a little Al Jolson here, Don.

Yeah, he looks like Roger in season one of Mad Man.

It's uncomfortable.

Like,

yeah, no, it's real bad is the thing.

And I don't know what's going to happen because, like, logically,

this has already crashed the economy, right?

And everybody who knows is like, this is going to cause a recession.

The Trump thing to do would be to back down off this after a month, right?

But he's done this whole like Liberation Day thing.

He had a chart made.

And so now it's like an ego trip as well.

Cause if he like backs down off of it, it's his fault.

He can't blame somebody else for it.

You know, again, three or four months from now, it won't matter because we'll have died of cholera.

Yeah, the cholera.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, we're already dying of measles.

I mean, that's happening.

That's true.

Well, RFK is going to come out and a worm is going to say cholera is good for you.

And, you know, it's going to use that instead of a Zempic because we can't import anything from Denmark anymore.

That's a good point.

Yeah.

Not to fixate on myself, but it's just, I don't know everybody else's situation, but it's really shitty timing for me that the economy collapses right as I'm about to get kicked out of my apartment.

I really don't like that because not only do I have to wear the barrel, I also then have to live in the barrel.

Um, and while that's convenient in one sense, it's like it also sucks, you know?

Yeah, that that does suck that these sort of situations like put people on the spot.

Yeah, I mean, the worst is it, I guess, the worst off besides Nike is if you're a guy who like runs a like a small business that exports a lot to the US in, like, I don't know, Vietnam, right?

Or whatever the one beneath malaysia is that's getting a 49 tariff um the fucking mcdonald islands with all the penguins or whatever uh because because that's basically just like god has seen your metaphorical infinity pool and has has like shattered it right

here here's

we're taxing the islands oh sorry

because of the rise of craft beer and especially barrel age beers barrels are expensive now fuck what am i getting well the i don't know where Listen, it's a shame that

the beer supply company I worked for back in the day is out of business now.

I think they're like, I think they sold the building to a Zionism store.

Getting a great deal on a used barrel, like a Herman Miller chair that you just find dumped on the sidewalk after a beer business has gone bankrupt.

And there's going to be like, what I like is the barrel is going to also show your status.

So like, you know, do you have a claret battle, a barrel?

You know, do you have a Malmsey?

Do you have weird names for wines over there?

No, it's Bordeaux.

I don't know why.

Like, I know why you call it Claret, but it's fucking Bordeaux.

Like, it's like us.

If I used bourbon barrel, that's a good thing.

No, it's going to be too expensive.

It's going to be too expensive.

No, this one was used for stout like six times over.

You're going to have to get sherry barrels.

You're going to have to use Hungarian oak, you fucking.

I'm going to have to have cholera inside like an oak barrel.

But it's not even going to be good oak.

It's Hungarian oak.

It's the one that no one wants.

It's not French.

It's not American.

No, it's going to be too expensive due to the tariffs.

Although Hungarian oak's going to be cheap because Orban, right?

So we'll have the oak connection.

Jesus fucking Christ, dude.

I don't.

Something needs to

happen.

Otherwise,

it really,

something needs to

happen in between me and the barrel, you know?

Because otherwise it's a straight line.

Please, please continue to value comedy podcast in your button.

Pushing the button that resurrects Lennon, just like burning my finger out, tapping that fucking button.

I've had that shit taped down since I was

a teenager.

Please come back.

Going to the mausoleum and getting like kicked out by the guards because I'm trying to shake him and both of his shoulders.

You go in there with a defibrillator.

Has anyone tried it?

It might work.

and it's tested if there's an upper time limit on those things

if you ever make that joke you get you of course this is what you get in response you go you know lennon lennon deserves his rest it's time for for you to to no i can't i can't the conditions are too different i the the conditions are different it's hard i like treats and also i was told by a poster once that lennon lived lennon lives and lennon will live forever and i choose to take that 100 literally please stop touching lennon i'm about to defibrillate him.

Yeah.

Clear.

I played Battlefield 2 as the medic class at an impressionable age.

Yep.

Listen, I grew up Catholic.

I know what incorruptibility of the saints means.

God, we didn't even touch that on the Catholicism episode.

We should have done.

Fuck.

Saint Lennon.

That's a cool band name, by the way.

You can thank me.

Saint Lennon is like a belief that like a bunch of South American grandmas have, I think.

Like equally radicalized by liberation theology and Che Guevara.

So you're like, well, I'm pretty certain that like Lennon was a saint.

You know what?

I fuck with that.

Like Scobie.

That sounds good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We can make them in America until we run out of bees.

Oh, yeah, that's happening too.

It's also happening too.

Yeah.

We're all going to be fucking, we're going to evolve fingers with bristles at the end.

We're going to pollinate by hand.

From reaching out from our barrels to

we're going to become turtle.

You know what?

It's going to be the cancerification.

You know, we're going to become crap.

You know,

as Donald Trump said, he went out there and he said, Liberation Day or like, or Hail the New Flesh.

I mean, it's really funny looking at what stocks have gone up as well, because it's Philip Morris,

Ambev, and Kathy Su.

So

it may as well

get futures in like United Bindle.

Yeah.

You know, in the Mice and Real.

Probably some barrel manufacturers, Coopers, excuse me.

Yeah.

Investors.

Absolutely.

Super.

In a gold rush, sell picks and shovels.

In a recession, sell barrels.

The people, they told me they're going to live in barrels.

And I said, it's going to be tough, but sometimes you have to do it.

Yeah, my portfolio is 50 cooperage i don't even i don't even want to look at what the what the

calendar 1850 you know what i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna go to the to the peasers uh the pennsylvania state education retirement fund uh

um meeting and say hey we should be probably getting in the barrels right now get into get get into coopers get into uh burlap sacks get into um

uh what else uh stands start burying gold in your yards uh start getting into start getting into shoes that are

comically coming apart at the soul and their time.

Weird depression shit, like saving scraps of fat from meat.

Ooh, yeah.

Oh, Mike Grant had tubs of that shit in her freezer.

Were you using a little bit of foil?

You can make a nice stock out of them.

A hearty stew?

Yeah.

You could

saving dirty

old underwears for

rags.

This is going to be a great time if you're a cobbler um

yeah learn a trade yeah shoe shining maybe uh

the dutch are gonna

really gonna do well with it great great to be an urchin uh yeah it's a good time to be newsy newsy caps like invest in like mucross like the irish weaving

you could be a muckracker uh-huh you could be

buy a muzzle yellow journalism is back boys who can yell extra extra riddle about it we're going to buy more of those that's going to be a real thing in the future.

I was thinking the original sense, the muckracker, where you're trying to find valuable items that people dropped in the Thames.

It's all clay pipe stems.

What the fuck?

It's all old turds, the ones that when they sent Queen Victoria out in her Thames cruise, they were like, oh, shield her eyes from the turds.

Get away with it.

What is it?

Anything good?

Nah, just another dockless e-bike.

Something I was thinking of, speaking of like the Lennon button, it's there's going to be a button somewhere in the stock exchange once, like the New York,

what's the name of the fucking stock?

Is it the New York State Stock Exchange?

I don't know.

The Arkansas Stock Exchange, yeah.

Thank you.

Yeah, NYSC.

When it drops below a certain number, they're going to push a button and then in the triangle shirtwaist building, like they're going to flip over and there's going to be women at their knitting and machines chained to their desks.

The entire building, all the exits will become sealed.

The bathrooms are locked.

Manufacturing is coming back.

I mean,

isn't that that building's that building's currently like NYU apart from fucking WeWork or something?

It's owned by the Park.

I like the WeWork in the haunted, the haunted fucking sweatshop.

It is the worst week for U.S.

stocks since COVID.

Well,

this is the result of policies developed by people who have never done anything other than send emails.

They don't

post about woke, post about

just the

these are, this is the like reaction vids.

Like, well, like I watched Star Trek, and there was a black person, and I got like, now Star Trek's woke, and like getting 300,000 likes from people who've never watched Star Trek.

I'm just, I'm shoehorning Star Trek into the thing today.

But

first contact days tomorrow.

I guess we're going to increase the tariffs, and then AI will tell us how to bring back manufacturing.

I mean,

first contact day,

really funny time for it to happen for real.

Just like we are just about to like fuck ourselves into barrel apocalypse and intelligent life shows up as just like shows up and they say, Hey guys, how's it going?

Whole society of people wearing barrels and they're like the strange, strange customs they have here.

Yeah, you're like in their Star Trek as like monster of the week barrel planet for the rest of fucking like intergalactic history.

You're trying to shake it.

You're like,

it was a one-time thing when you did first contact.

It's not fair, but they don't matter.

It doesn't matter.

Your barrel people.

It's the real first contact because in the film, he launches on what appears to be a modified Titan II.

And the Titan II, using its extremely toxic hypergolic propellant, would have killed everybody in that little shitty shanty town around.

So

they might have to live in barrels after that.

No one really talks about, you know,

talks about, you know, shit like that.

One of my favorite original series episodes, Piece of the Action.

Uh,

Kirk drops down to Gangster Planet, 1930s Gangster Planet.

Oh, how they're like, where they're all like, nyah, see?

Uh, and he has to get them to like join the Federation by being like, the Federation is like Al Capone.

Um,

that's so like aliens showing up in the Trump administration in like 2025.

That's a very similar vibe, I feel, to like, you have caught us at a bad time.

You are catching our planet in the nyas, see, comedy gangster era.

Yeah, it's the same strategy I use to teach my students poetry.

That's like me sitting down, like I sit backwards on the chair.

Like, all right, we're gonna learn about poetry, but you know what?

The real poetry is of the streets, man.

You guys like hip-hop?

That's,

you know, but you know what?

Chaucer had bars too.

All right.

And let's, we're going to work on this real rap, right?

I hope I killed some.

I hope I killed some zoomers with that a little bit.

You know who else was no cap?

For real, for real?

Yeah.

Keep it the bean.

Fucking James Joyce.

All right, kids, we're going to read some letters James Joyce wrote.

Oh,

no, no.

Oh, no.

Don't do that.

If you don't know what that's about, don't do that.

Don't, don't.

Don't, don't, don't read James Joyce's letters.

Um,

no, don't, don't, yeah.

To Nora or whatever.

Uh, Nora, the barticle, whatever her fucking name is.

Yeah, yeah, the man wanted to do some things and have some things done to him that you don't need to read about.

No, you don't need that knowledge.

They were happy together with that, and that's great for them.

Yes, exactly.

I don't even know if it is.

Yeah.

I mean, you're going to get pink eyes.

That's all I'm just going to say.

And that's going to be lethal now because we won't have antibiotics.

Yeah, exactly.

Well, you already have the cholera and be in the barrel.

That's what's going to happen when the Federation shows up.

It's going to be like, it's a planet full of people wearing barrels.

They all have cholera.

Imagine they don't even have electricity.

They clearly had it recently, but they don't now.

We're going to set up an observation post here on Planet Soul 3.

And they're like, you know, let's look at their cultural documents.

Oh, my God.

Just out of mind.

Yeah.

They'll be like, wow, this clearly was a culture worth

exploring like a few weeks ago.

But I think we're just going to go in and steal a library and

be done with it.

We're going to hear the prime directive here.

They're clearly not advanced enough.

But, you know, sometimes we save the ones.

Like, Like, remember that one with the volcanoes?

You know what?

That was a mistake.

We're going to call Mulligan on that.

This one, Prime Directive.

The planet's melting.

We're going to have to, you know what?

You're going to have to.

I read those fucking letters.

God damn this universal translator.

Begging them to violate the Prime Directive.

The word fart.

The word fart is universal.

It's in every fucking species in this fucking galaxy.

We all have a word for fart.

All right.

Well, that will be the consequence of Trump, again, restoring stability to America's america's business uh community thank you president trump sir thank you thank you president donald john trump uh you're welcome i hope you enjoy

that was the goddamn news

uh by following on from that we got some tour announcements tour announcements tour announcements we're doing a tour we're doing a tour of the northeastern united states however As you may be aware, the United States border

worse across than than ever to the point that that's because the business environment is so stable.

Yeah, the business environment is so stable that uh I have had multiple people ask and some beg me not to try to come to the U.S.

And uh, I was

to quote a um to quote a lawyer with a podcast on the internet, uh, stop emailing me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Um, so I mean, we, we did seek legal advice on this and some like expert advice from people who are in a position to know.

And for a while, we were going to try and tough it out and be like, well, fuck it.

We're going to go to the embassy.

They're going to misgender me or whatever the fuck.

Now we denote to the point that I really don't want to get like a Salvadoran involuntary haircut.

So

it's kind of like, you know, if you're...

Well, Riley said this on Trash Future, but I was thinking it in parallel.

You know, it's like, okay, if you're like 99% certain you're not going to go to

prison,

you don't go.

Yeah.

That's a bad number.

Yeah.

So we will figure out some Edward Snowden telepresent shit.

Yes, exactly.

We'll put a little barrel on the robot to represent my like attire at the time as well.

And I'll just have to bring the guns over to you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Smuggle my firearms into the UK.

It's always fun to see

the watch list for a change.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We'll probably have to leave that,

yeah.

But so, um, yeah,

I'm just gonna remote sin for the shows, and it fucking sucks because

uh,

like what a fucking piece of cognitive dissonance apart from anything else to be like, yeah, I'm gonna get out of bed today.

I'm gonna walk into like, you know, uh, assuming I'm still in this apartment, I'm gonna walk into the like office and I'm gonna

call into

Broadway.

Like,

I might be the first person to play like a Broadway theater and not have to wear pants, which is,

I don't know, maybe, maybe some kind of an achievement, but it fucking sucks real bad.

And I really hope

what about Daniel Radcliffe?

Oh, yeah.

That's true.

But yes,

why not take your barrel, right?

So you go to Canada, being in a Commonwealth nation, you'll be welcome there.

Yeah.

And then you use your barrel to go over Niagara Falls.

And just hope I end up on like the US side on the bottom.

Yeah.

Interesting.

Border Patrol couldn't do shit to me.

No, it's, I don't think that's ever been addressed.

So it's like a legal gray area.

Hell yeah.

Like killing somebody in Yellowstone.

It's simple.

You just, you just have to, you just have to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel.

Um, yeah.

No, I, I, I, someone, I, I, I wish things were different.

And I wish things became different in a hurry.

Um, due to uh, this fucking sucks.

And I am sorry.

You know,

I'm hoping that at some point in the future, we get a political thaw where, you know, this is not so risky.

For real.

I mean, I also want to get you guys out to.

We need an American cruise shop.

Yeah.

But like.

Who will be America's cruise shop?

I am going to pitch a European tour just so we can actually be on stage all at once.

That would be nice.

Yeah.

Because so far we're an extremely resilient podcast in the sense of like the two coke executives who aren't allowed to fly on the same plane um

but uh

you know other than that there are there are some drawbacks so yes um we we will do the shows as planned but uh

i'm gonna i'm gonna be i'm gonna be a laptop probably or one of those telephones robots i'm looking forward to because of the prices in the uk being what they are like the tour of like the wtyp live in bradford um yeah live yeah

live in i don't know what's a shitty what's another shitty town blackpool

open up Google Maps I'm looking I'm looking at we're gonna go to Great Yarmouth crew

we're gonna brand new castle climbing

Telford there's a Telford near me

that's probably

the colonization probably

we're gonna go to Everness wait wait wait hold on wait wait wait colonization yeah like the reason why uh like all of your place names are all the same as our place names uh and so you have a bunch of like shithole towns named like new shithole town yeah

There's fucking what?

Cycling tour of North Cornwall.

Yo, I thought it was the other way around.

Actually, I would fuck with that.

And the, I, I, I'm not going to say, but there are people with my last name in power in Cornwall that I'm wondering are relationships.

Like the relationship.

Like the shadow government.

Like, like in some like town council in like south, like far southwest, like Cornwall.

Okay.

And I'll be like, hey, we have the same last name.

It's not very common.

So I'm wondering if.

So now,

are there any pains in Cornwall?

You know, Googling furiously to try and find and get a step ahead of me.

I'm on to you.

Anyway, so tickets are still available for our show in beautiful New York City on April 29th.

Those have been discounted.

Tickets are still available for our show in Philadelphia at the Fillmore, where we do have to fill more seats.

Again, we do have to do this in the complicated way where there may be technical difficulties.

I apologize, but you should blame the president and also all the conservative members of your family.

This is

right now.

This is absolutely true, and I want you to make a huge problem about it at Thanksgiving.

Yes, that will be your problem.

Yes.

If you're also a 10,000 Lawsons listener, we have a mass quite the goon squad on our Discord.

So we will be

sending escorts.

Not that kind of goon squad, though.

You say Discord goon squad to me.

I mean, listen, a couple of these guys.

I'm I'm gonna probably make a state.

Shouts out, Charlie.

What's up?

Um, shouts out, Wayne.

Probably, I mean, maybe, I don't know, but uh, yeah, we could, they could stand there and look tough at wearing their like SC Celtic gear.

Hell yeah.

Yeah.

I just, I just need, like, the goon squad will really come into

its own when executive power in the U.S.

declines to the point that, like, there's no border patrol.

It's, like, a series of militias.

And you just get the, like, Pennsylvania Secret Service to, like, muscle me through whatever checkpoint.

Um, that, that's going to be ideal, aside from the Civil War part.

Um, well, we just got it, we just got to boost the Patreon so you can fly private across the Atlantic Ocean.

Or take some sort of you know, packet.

Yeah, do you think

security is like cooler than airport security?

Yeah, to see how take the next packet out of court.

I mean, that's still part of the Empire, right?

You know,

I arrived on a tramp steamer.

Do you have to come in through Ellis Island?

Show up four weeks late.

They changed my name at Ellis Island, not for any like ethnic reasons, but because they believed it was dumb as hell and they were right.

Just hopefully your packet doesn't go through a certain body of water.

Oh, God.

Oh, yeah.

Which is the subject of today's podcast, which 15 minutes in, yeah.

We had a lot to talk about.

The economy crash.

We're all going to be wearing barrels.

Yeah, we're all going to have cholera.

It's a lot.

That's a lot to take in once.

One at a time.

We got the guy, the guy who's picking.

Image attribution.

I stole this from the Civilization Wiki.

Wow.

Okay.

Looking real airbrushed.

Drop the skincare routine, okay?

What is the Bermuda Triangle?

Well, take it away, Tom.

Well,

it's

there's this like island called Bermuda, right?

And it's named after this guy named Jose de Bermudez,

which

I never awful hand.

Yeah, real, real smug.

He got the bob, which is a weird combination with that beard texture.

He looks like

the new Willy Wonka.

He's got the blush going on.

Yeah.

Maybe he's just encountered a member of the Goon Squad and he's a little intrigued.

So,

Jose de Bermude

is a Spanish name, which comes from the old Spanish Bermudo, which comes from the Suebian huermund,

which comes from the Proto-Germanic.

It's a compound of Proto-Germanic words,

huijas and mundo, which

means sacred protector.

And this comes from Proto-Indo-European.

This comes from,

oh, shit, I forgot to look up, pronounce the laryngeurials.

We have

wakos

plus the ending

manta, sure.

And this is an interesting thing.

It kind of translates to the hand that sifts those who would be sacrificed.

Damn, significantly cooler name.

Oh, kill them all and let God sort them out.

And it's cognate with the Latin.

Let this guy sort them out.

And it's cognate with the Latin victim.

So maybe for some, like, God has a sense of irony.

Or the Proto-Indo-Europeans did.

And anyway, so that's where Bermuda comes from.

And then triangles,

those are shapes.

And I'm learning so much.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I, I,

yeah, pull this one up for me, Jamie.

My mind's blown.

Learning this thing.

Triangles, three sides, right?

180 degrees.

Wow.

Wow.

That's, that's wild, man.

uh um and that comes that so it comes from from latin uh triangulo uh that is how you actually would have pronounced it uh that's where that's you know, I don't know if Latin nerds know that.

I'm not doing any fucking ecclesiastical pronunciation.

Fucking Italians.

Get the fuck out of here.

And

yeah, it's a nasal, that UM.

So it's the Imperion, Romanore.

Fucking yell at the Romans.

Winnie Weedy Wiki.

It sounds better, in my opinion.

It kind of makes sense that French came from that bullshit.

you know oh yeah they just add extra letters at the end you just nasalize the fuck out everything yeah so so uh it comes from Latin.

It's a compound.

Tres

plus angulus.

All right.

Well, what do each of those mean?

Three and angle.

And that comes from Proto-I...

Where does this come from?

That comes from Proto-Indo-European, Treas.

And then we don't know exactly how it was pronounced, but like

Hungolos.

I'm not mentally recasting every kind of Roman in my head as sounding a bit French.

I'm not doing that.

You have to.

I'm not going to fucking come up with like a cicero you know

i listen i have seen a lot of films from the 1960s about romans and they sound they all sound like brits yeah yeah they're they're british they're english people and and the and the patricians sound very posh and the plebeians sound like like you know real geezers yeah i i saw that documentary they made in ancient rome called rome um

and um uh but what's up shouts out polywalker what do you have to um

uh

jesus Christ.

Anyway, so both of these, all these,

what's really kind of cool is these Proto-Indo-European terms, they all come from Turkic,

which is the original language.

So that's really cool.

Okay, sure.

So what I'm learning is that Bermuda is the rightful territory of Turkey.

Exactly.

I guess so.

You know, shouts out to my Grey Wolves.

Let's go through this.

I don't know if we can shout out the Grey Wolves.

Maybe there's already a podcast that does that.

Oh, I was accused of stealing Come Town Bits, so I guess I'm now stealing Chapo Valor, too.

Yeah, it's like a combination of like we get canceled for the like fascist terrorist organization and we get canceled for like biting Chapo.

By the way, Felix, I'm better at flight simulator than you.

I'm much better.

My Andrew Cuomo impression is stolen.

It's an impression of Nick Mullen doing Andrew Cuomo.

To be fair, that's half my.

I have Felix blocked, and I don't even remember why I did that.

I don't remember what I was mad at him about.

Well, you know, I still listen to their podcast.

That's one of the few I still listen to as well.

Although,

yeah, Matt Christmas shouts out.

Hope your brain's doing good.

If you don't know the context of that, that's a really funny thing to say.

I don't mean, I mean that unironically.

No, no, no.

I just mean if you didn't know

why you were saying that, it'd be like, you know, who the fuck is this guy?

This is, this is, you know,

it's happened to enough people in the podcasting sphere, the left-wing podcasting sphere, that I'm like, we all got to be on the lookout.

I'm

anyone with like one of those

sound guns

on the NFL sidelines, if they're pointing that at you, you fucking, that's the heart attack gun.

That's the

fucking Havana syndrome.

That's going to fucking clot your blood from 20 paces.

No joke, when I was recording No Gods, No Mares, no GodsNomares.com

earlier in the afternoon, I had a little like kind of fucking neurological event thing where I got like a weird headache on one side and I felt a bit loopy for a second.

I was like, this is it.

This is it.

They got me.

They got me with the fucking like Havana syndrome gun.

Podcaster brain is happening to me.

Yeah.

Which, and like I said, it would be a very like on-brand way to go out.

And it would spare me the barrel, which I would appreciate.

But,

you know, I am keen to live a long and healthy life.

Spare the healthy life.

Even if I don't have a child.

I want to see the barrel times.

I just think it'll be, you know, I got to live longer just to see how it ends.

Genuinely, it's like I came in at like, you could have walked into the theater at any point in this movie, but you came in and you got to see the ending.

Like, that's kind of cool.

Oh, yeah, exactly.

So, yeah, but anyway, I mean, I guess we're an hour in.

That's where the Bermuda Triangle.

That's where it comes from.

Okay, cool.

Good podcast.

Thanks, Tom.

Yeah.

Safety third?

Yeah, sure.

Yeah, sorry.

I keep getting mixed up because I sort of have the drop of Eric Adams comparing himself to Jesus and getting booed by everyone in New York.

I can do that instead of shake hands with danger.

You know, when Jesus was on the cross, he said, God, forgive them, for they know not what they do.

Oh, he fully says the word in there.

Oh,

yeah.

I forgot that he said that.

Well, we're going to have to cut that, I guess.

Oh, yeah.

We clicked the next slide.

Oh, look.

Yeah.

All right.

So this is the Bermuda triangle.

Yes.

Oh, so those are the points of the triangle are Miami,

Bermuda, San Juan.

That's bullshit, first of all, all, because if you like drown off the waterfront in Miami Beach, that means you die in the Bermuda Triangle.

Well, technically, that one, probably that one train that derailed and killed everyone on the overseas railway was a Bermuda Triangle accident.

Except it wasn't because, again, most of the accidents and disasters attributed to the Bermuda Triangle actually happened.

at Cape Hatteras.

And the issue here with the Bermuda Triangle is it's non-Euclidean.

And

that's where you get some Cthulhu shit.

Because

that's clearly non-Euclidean.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, yeah, because it's spherical geometry, right?

The angles are going to add up to more than 180.

Which is my favorite thing when he's like in the mountains of madness, at the Mountains of Madness, when he's describing, oh, the weird non-Euclidean geometry of this alien base in Antarctica.

That just means it's got circles, you idiot.

It's got fucking globes.

Euclid didn't know what a circle was.

Yeah.

So, yeah, you have hyperbolic geometry.

It could be

radial geometry, which is just the same, but the coordinate system is different.

Yeah.

Yeah.

2 pi r squared or whatever.

I don't.

I'm not a math guy.

This is also known as...

Also known as the Devil's Triangle, which is also known as the Eiffel Tower.

But the term is coined, you can click.

by this guy named Vincent Gaddis.

Whoa.

There we go.

Hairline like a puzzle piece.

Oh, yeah.

This is is, this is, that, it, he's got the same hairline I do.

And if I,

if I was a coward and wouldn't surrender, you know, recognize what nature, what God has designed, for deigned for my hair, what my answers have given me, I would look like that.

But I'm not a coward.

Um, also, so, also, I don't write dumb shit in art in the February 1964 issue of Argosy Magazine.

What the fuck is Argosy Magazine?

It actually, it's a magazine that lasted from the 19th century till 2016.

Jesus, it was like the Atlantic or whatever.

Yeah, but for like pulp shit.

Huh.

Okay.

So it was in its pulp era.

Kind of like, have you ever heard of like the 14 times like Charles?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like weird occultist shit.

Yeah, kind of

parapsychology and ancient aliens.

And

yeah, so he's, he's kind of in that balowick.

I don't know why that was the first word that came to my mind, but he was like, so he coined the term Vermeida Triangle, but he wasn't the first person to come up with it.

But he did it in this magazine.

So this is a post, basically.

This is a...

Yeah.

This is

an X post, right?

Like,

it's a conspiracy threat.

They used to pay you for them.

Oh, you used to be able to make a living as a crank in this country.

Oh, for sure.

And you know what?

His big thing was like the Bermuda Triangle and his other thing was spontaneous human combustion.

Whoa.

So real good brain on this guy.

You ever find a case of spontaneous human combustion in the Bermuda Triangle?

Oh, shit.

That's always been like, you know, I didn't realize that was fake until fairly recently.

Spontaneous human combustion.

I have an aunt who, if she listens to that song, the incubus song that mentions it, she like starts freaking out.

She's like, turn it off.

Like, she genuinely is afraid if she thinks about it, it's going to happen to her.

Oh, I mean, I used to get that when I was a kid because I read about it and I was like, oh, she's 70.

Yeah, I mean, 70-year-olds are like children in a lot of ways.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And it's like, well, actually, no, that was probably just someone smoking in bed.

She also one time.

Someone are.

That's what they all were.

You look into this and it's like some person who's like, well, time to douse myself in kerosene, as is my habit, and then get into this big easy chair and smoke my evening cigarette.

My kids are trying to take my cigarettes away.

And I told them.

that i don't i don't know no my my my my grandma die without my cigarettes I think my grandma could have spontaneously human combusted if she'd been a bit less careful because

when she had the cancer,

she was on an oxygen tank.

And

she was also a lifelong chain smoker.

And she did not stop smoking when she had the oxygen tank.

It was just like a mask.

And I'm just like, if those two sort of like actions had ever done, order of operations happened in the wrong order,

I worry that she would have like blown up the house, which she did not do, mercifully.

Uh, that's pretty cool, yeah,

yeah.

Uh, that just shouts out,

real

daredevil shit, you know.

Like, shouts out to people like that.

Shouts out, I might have mentioned this girl before on the previous episode.

Shouts out to the girl who used to sit on the can of trichloroethylene next to the oxygen and hydrogen tanks while she was pregnant and smoked cigarettes.

Oh, hell yeah, just that's excellent.

You can't just wow, wow, like what a woman.

Um

I think, I think women can do anything, I me too.

Especially go to space unintentionally.

That's what would have happened.

I actually wonder what was more dangerous to that child than sitting on the can of trichloroethylene or the cigarettes.

I feel like

there's stuff in that that make the cigarettes pretty like mild.

Yeah.

You know?

Like entire generations survived being brought up with like chain-smoking wombs, you know.

Up and out.

It's like four.

It used to be like, you know, fucking four out of five gynecologists would be like, yeah, fuck it.

You know, smoke.

Don't care.

It'd probably be good for you, baby.

I'm making cool.

Going to five.

Doctors say Virginia Slims prevents

hysterical.

What was it called when the womb was supposed to move around?

Oh,

like hysteria.

Literally.

It prevents hysteria and the fairest sex.

Hmm.

Yeah.

Although that's kind of crazy.

Like, imagine like.

like you're having sex and then she starts getting hysteria it's like holy shit took my dick off what the fuck

where the fuck did it go i mean that that is a mass delusion of like penis theft like it's uh it's a thing um by the way uh in in the course of reading about spontaneous human combustion one of the like skeptical uh one of the skeptic things that i read is like you know pretty easy to disprove in the sense that there's like 8 billion people walking around and you don't see somebody like burst into flames at starbucks very often in fact

and i'm like no but it would be up if that did happen, though.

Like, that would be

Rational Wiki.

Were you on Rational Wiki?

No, I was on the regular, normal, irrational type wiki, but there's a quote in there from Benjamin Radford.

And suggests explanations.

Let's bring them back.

We're bringing back the skeptics.

Rational wiki.

I'm right.

I'm right, but I'm really going to be really a fucking annoying prank about it.

No, no, I was on Conservapedia.

It's

the real encyclopedia.

Yeah.

We need a really partisan antidote to both conservatopedia media and rational wiki because I don't want it to be rational.

I want it to be like abject propaganda.

I want Wokipedia.

I want the

most

left-wing take on any possible thing.

Well, I assume because it's a left-wing project, there's 45 of them.

And the most complete one would be fucking Trots.

That's the one that's going to be.

In the 1976 book, Fire from Heaven, UK writer Michael Harrison suggests that SHC is connected to poltergeist activity.

I didn't even consider that.

No, that makes sense.

That makes a lot more sense.

Yeah.

I hope the poltergeists don't think that I'm like taunting them.

Well, you are in a, like, a, like a, like, any, any nation that has like a building that where you describe it that has as having rising damp is severely haunted.

Oh, no question.

Whole country is haunted, I think.

Yes.

Oh, absolutely.

So anyway, this, this guy invented spontaneous human combustion and the Bermuda Triangle.

Is Is that his

imagely for like, you know.

I don't know if he invented SHC, but, you know, he was like a proponent of it.

I shouldn't have called it SHC.

Like abbreviating, it makes it sound like a real, like, like a syndrome, you know?

That's probably what they call it on like their like Facebook pages.

Oh, yeah, 100%.

Because you can't just be saying spontaneous human combustion all the time.

No, it's too many words.

Yeah.

It's all fucking Latin, too.

Roz, you can go to the next slide.

Okay.

That's your slide.

I mean, I put the image on there.

You put the image in.

Yeah, the weather and the Bermuda Triangle, where one of the things is, you know, it's, it's, generally speaking, this, this is where the hurricanes go.

You know, it's pretty bad a lot of the time, or at least during hurricane season.

You know, the weather can change very rapidly.

Now, this is also the case with a lot of the rest of the ocean.

Should not be surprising that there's a lot of incidents with ships and airplanes here because, you know, this is where the storms are, especially when the forecasting is bad.

My favorite ones are like the ones that, like, the one that goes over the UK does a little loop-de-loop and just like fuck you, Denmark.

Yeah, just like stunting on us.

Yeah, it does the little fucking loop.

Like, you have a little, got a little, you got some moves there, doing some acrobatics.

Exactly.

Well, yeah, it's going to go and fuck up a little bit of Oslo first, and then

yeah, there's like a bunch of like Danish grandmas, like with memories of like the great with

the most funny, the funniest named disaster in the world, the Grota Mondrinka or whatever.

Great damp.

It drizzled a little more than normal.

Yeah.

Like, if you want, like, if you think Dutch is funny, try out Low German.

That's another really funny sounding one, too.

It's almost English, but just extra funny.

But yeah, look, those are tracks of tropical storms.

They have...

really big storms.

They come through.

They make a loop.

They go out to Europe.

Usually they dissipate before they make it there.

Um, sometimes they do fun stuff like, you know, they go fuck up the islands pretty frequently.

They fuck up Florida.

Sometimes they come up the East Coast and fuck us up.

You know, maybe they go and hit Montreal for some reason.

Yeah, they go, they go, for some reason, they form like and just punish Spain.

Yes, exactly.

They go to Spain.

I feel like being like the Bermuda Triangle is real is like the wrong conspiracy guy angle to take.

If I wanted to be a conspiracist here, the one I would do is what you are looking at is a history of like U.S.

weather control experiments, you know, like oh, like, yeah, they all just sort of most of them bend away.

Yeah.

How convenient.

Interesting.

How convenient.

Yeah.

Don't this fucking conspiracy theory.

First off, the earth is flat, so Westerlies and Hadley cells are not real.

Yeah.

That's right.

It's all emanations from the firmament.

Plus, of course, the U.S.'s well-known enmity to Spain,

you know, dating back to the Freemasons and stuff.

The problem with this theory is that what you're saying is the United States has a secret weather machine.

And get this, they're using it to benefit us.

Well, that would explain why

America's oldest ally, Morocco, has only been hit once.

Yeah.

Whereas the perfidious Spaniards, on the other hand, any number of times.

Yeah.

And

the Irish get it too for some fucking reason.

Some kind of wasp weather machine.

It only hits like

now it will only hit Northern Ireland.

It flies the same corridor over like into like, what's the fucking lake?

It's up in Donegal.

Oh, Loch Neath?

Loch, Loch Urn.

Like that little Loch Urn corner over Bally Shannon.

And

where the old, that's like the easiest way to get.

That's where the hurricane.

Anyway, it's the hurricane.

That's how that works.

The United States has a secret weather machine, and they're using it to punish Ulster Unionists.

Oh, President Biden, come back.

I'm sorry I said all those things about you.

We were actually using the hurricanes.

We were timing our shipments of funds for the widows and orphans

for the good cause there to speed them along.

They were going ahead of it.

They were taking the fast package.

Biden munching block of Kerry Gold button.

Another hurricane.

You know, i do have a care i do have a carry gold butter conspiracy oh yeah okay that that is dropping quality in the united states so they're keeping the good shit they're they got there there's no way they're sending all listen i've been to fucking ireland several times i've commented before on the toilets i know what this fucking country is like there's not enough cows to make enough butter for americans i've been to costco you can buy like four pounds of carry gold There is probably a ton in each Costco in the United States, there's probably a ton, like 2,000 pounds of fucking carry gold.

Where is that coming from?

There's not that many cows in Ireland.

Probably Wisconsin.

Yeah, there's not enough land.

Yeah.

You have cows fucking growing on the Cliffs of Mower, like falling over, dumbass cows.

No sense of self-preservation.

A cow falling off a cliff.

I'm sure it happens.

I'm sure it fucking happens.

I took the Cliffs of Mower Path last summer.

I'm like, oh my God, I will die.

And then, like, then, like, two days later, kid fell.

Like, and they close it off.

So, I got in like before that shit happened.

I was like, dude, this is like dangerous.

And there's electric fences on the other side.

So, if I want to jump at the escape, I'm going to get zapped.

I was always very confused.

I went to Norway a long time ago.

We took some of the cruises up and down the fjords on Herdogruden line.

Were you pining for the fjords?

I was not pining for the fjords because I was there in the fjords.

I pined when I got home.

And you could see the farmhouse at the top of the cliff, and you could see they had a bunch of cows up there, and there was no roads or anything up there.

And you could see they had some cows.

And at the bottom of the cliff, there was a boat, like a small rowing boat that clearly belonged to the farmer.

And it was not at all clear how you got from the house to the boat, like a thousand feet down.

Just like, okay, these people have some magic going on.

Some of that fucking elf dwarf shit.

Troll magic, yeah.

Yeah, so weather is bad in the Bermuda Triangle.

Yeah.

And the other thing, of course, is, again, I was looking through just cursory research.

Something like half of the Bermuda Triangle incidents actually happened near Cape Hatteras, North Carolina.

Treacherous.

Very treacherous.

Very, very treacherous.

Yeah.

You can go see a lighthouse.

Oh, graveyard of the Atlantic.

Which is interesting.

They actually took this whole lighthouse, put it on rails, and moved it like a thousand feet inland because the erosion is really bad.

Huh.

I've been to the top of this.

I was terrified.

I posed.

They put it on rails again.

Oh, yeah.

Wow.

Rod's just up there like strat, like, they're going to put it back on the train.

I know.

This is going to be the fucking sickest thing ever happened.

doing precision scheduled railroading yeah you have rodney kintorski like outside like filming wait just incoherent as the as the

uh the lighthouse goes by at 60 miles per hour

it's just north holds southern colors no you're driving around like spongebob driving a rock

dude the load engage though man shit that on this thing you can't take this anyway on that one.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So this is Cape Hatteras, North Carolina.

It's out on the Outer Banks.

It is,

you know, a fantastic vacation destination.

That was always where my family went.

Well, usually we were closer to like Kitty Hawk or somewhere around there.

But this is, well, it was between Cape Hatteras.

I don't remember exactly where because it's been a long time since we've went.

Anyway, so.

You know, it seems like a lot of, you know, these Bermuda Triangle disasters, of which we're going to discuss several, it's like, well, they went through the Bermuda Triangle and then they wrecked at Cape Hatteras, which is a known location for people to wreck.

Like, if you look at the chart, my favorite thing is it says, like, the shoals, it just says variable.

Like, it doesn't give you a depth.

Constantly shifting.

God,

just don't go here.

Just don't go here.

It's a bad idea.

Danger area.

C note.

Like, yeah, please don't.

Listen, the East Coast of the United States, talked about it when

we did the last one I was on,

the fucking Pendleton rescue.

Yes.

These look like placid, you know, shores.

You go, yeah, you're going down to Shark or Craig February, you know, watching.

Great beaches, a fantastic weather most of the year.

I'm going to put my, listen, you guys meet me at Wawa Crest.

I'm the one with the Trump flag, and it'll be really easy to find me there.

Whatever the North Carolina Wawa is.

It's treacherous.

And if you, like, I'm a history nerd, you know, you can look up narcotical charts from, you know, back when the first colonizers were here.

And they, the same spots are dangerous.

Like, we haven't changed it.

Nature will fight you every chance you get, make, make you sick.

It's, it's very treacherous.

And the reason that Cape Hatteras is treacherous,

it's shallow and it has shoals that drift off.

It's a point of land and it catches sand, like the the longshore drift.

When you decide to include a triangle that has the Bahamas in it, go see the El Fara episode, which was a victim of the Bermuda Triangle.

Hey, this is kind of hard to navigate in.

Yeah, so anyway,

maybe we should rename it the Bermuda Quadrilateral.

Yeah, the Bermuda Polygon.

Yes.

Ooh,

look at the spanker on her.

Big, big sailboat.

Ooh.

This is Atalanta.

It looks like it says the missing training shit.

Yeah, it does, actually.

I love JPEG compression.

Oh, these guys fucking misspell Atlanta.

Fuck the brain, dude.

This was launched as HMS Juno.

It's a 26-gun, sixth-rate frigate.

You can study too much classics

with naming schemes for their own.

That's the entirety of the 19th century.

I guarantee you there's an hms meleager as well um

yeah

yeah still don't know what happened to hms pinafore um is there an hms hippomeness

listen like look just open a patrick o'brien novel the brandon lady oh i do yeah yeah uh i with them so much i'm almost i'm on i'm on nutmeg of constellation now i'm getting so close i'm getting so close to the end i'm just gonna read them over again

you can do the hornblower novels which are themselves kind of the nutmeg of consolation for you having run out of Aubrey Matcher.

That's true.

Hornblower is a fine obnoxious though.

He's like a cat to a cart, but not as cool.

This guy's 131 feet long, 40 feet beam.

That's the width, if people don't know here.

I don't know what the draft is.

It was converted to a training ship in early 1878, which will be a training will be a theme.

Yeah, she's a bit of a like a like a in 1878.

She's a bit of a dinosaur.

I mean,

the first time in the Navy that you're like, we got to train these guys as opposed to just

learn on the job.

If you fall off something and break your leg, then that's your problem.

Wait,

we shouldn't have like a specific rate just called landsmen of guys we we stole from like the shore at violence and they're really really really mad that they're on this fucking ship and this fucking shit sucks i have to eat fucking salt beef.

Fuck.

And I have scurvy now.

That's why whenever, like, listen, talk about reading Patrick O'Brien novels.

We, all of us who read it, we do not imagine ourselves as a, as a formist jack.

We imagine ourselves on the quarter deck.

Of course.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, I haven't been stolen from the bar at like two o'clock in the morning.

Next day I'm hungover and they're like, okay, go climb the mainmast.

In a couple of months' time, I'm doing a LARP set in the Battle of Britain, like a kind of of like half LARP, half reenactment, which is what interested me in it.

Not a Patrick O'Brien one.

I would have loved it if they had.

But my first question was, can I be an officer?

And they let me.

The stupid.

Yes.

Yes.

If there is ever Nova a Patrick O'Brien LARP, you let me know because I'm going to, I won't even ask my wife.

Can we afford this?

I'm buying.

Yeah, you're like,

why is all of our money gone into like frock coat expenses?

And it's like, listen, you have to be properly attired to be on the quarter deck.

I'm just convinced I'm, listen, listen, it's 1808.

The American and British accents didn't diverge so much yet.

You really couldn't distinguish an American accent from

the vowel shift hadn't happened yet.

Yeah,

the BBC English, what's the received pronunciation hadn't really formed.

That's not a thing.

Like we sounded American, so I should be doing an accent.

yeah it would be i i would give you guys elocution lessons yeah yeah so hms atalanta set sail from bermuda on the 31st of january 1880 for falmouth england and disappeared without a trace i mean i would too have heard the goat whoopsie whoopsie yep just just disappeared no nothing happened to it

um there was an investigation afterwards and it was complicated owing to a total lack of witnesses well that tends to happen when a boat disappears.

Yeah.

How to disappear completely and never be found.

Sink boat.

Be born before satellites.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They will still do this if you're a submariner.

There was an able seaman named John Varling.

He testified that in his experience on board the ship, he was not on board during this voyage.

This ship was generally overweight.

tended to list a lot, and the timid new sailors were afraid to go aloft and mess with the sails, or they were too incapacitated by seasickness.

I love the training ship where all of the like safety critical stuff has to be done by the people being trained who are terrified and there is like one guy to teach them.

Yeah.

And I'm imagining that like in this in this photo, like, oh, no, we just have every fucking sail out.

Like

the guys are too scared.

Yeah, it's like, oh, damn.

I mean, can we, can we get our, you know, okay, all the guys are are too terrified to do this.

Can we get like the, they had 11 experienced seamen in a crew of 300.

Oh, my fucking God.

This is why you have Royal Marines.

I mean, right?

I mean, all right, go up there or I'm going to shoot you down here.

Please, we're all going to die if you don't go up there and fold those fucking sails.

So the

gunboat, the gunboat HMS Avon

reported, or is it Avon?

I don't know.

It's the one where it's where it's the multi-level marketing one, your mom in the 90s.org moisturizer.

It's the company that makes all the gas masks.

Right.

They reported they saw a bunch of wreckage floating around near the Azores after they arrived in England in the middle of April.

So, this boat, like many of the boats we're going to talk about, probably didn't actually sink in the Bermuda Triangle.

It did pass through.

This will be a theme.

The Azores, notably, are not within the Bermuda Triangle, I believe.

No, they're quite a ways away.

Yeah.

And yeah, as again,

the Times of London, I guess, mused that it was maybe was a bad idea to have 11 experienced seamen total and a crew of 300.

That's probably like what the captain said, like stiff upper lip as the ship was going down.

Yeah, it's like, oh, damn, we got 10 officers and one guy who's willing to go.

Yeah.

for all the sale.

I mean, I mean, I mean,

usually it would be like if if you look up like how like the on the age of sail vessels like the landsman would be like maybe like 10 of the crew at most yeah i mean

like you read you read the novels right and it's like oh we we stole a bunch of guys and they don't know how to like uh reef or steer or whatever but like um some of them will become good enough in time right um yes the rest will you know break their legs yeah yeah exactly and then we launch them on a pier somewhere and then they're someone else's problem

you become a broken man on a Halifax pier, yeah.

That's right.

And Aubrey makes some sort of joke.

Doesn't know us.

Stay from a halyard.

You know, and everyone

in the fucking wardrobe just starts thumping the tables and all that.

And you hear that as they sail away

on your mangled legs, and you're just like, I really thought I would be an officer in this one.

Yes.

Well, landsmen all, wherever you may be, if you want to rise to the top of the trees, stay close to your desks and never go to sea.

You all may be rulers of the Queens Navy.

So it's like when I did,

actually, my dad did like the family genealogy.

Nothing notable has ever been done by us or happened to us.

We are the like most statistically probable

family in history.

And it's mostly, it's all like peasant,

which is like, of course it is.

Why would it be anything else?

Most people were.

It's like peasant, peasant, peasant, peasant, peasant works on the computer podcaster.

Yes.

So you've become the most notable member of your family.

I hope to God that isn't true.

But it's either.

I guess I will leave some kind of genealogical record behind.

Despite the fact that, well, no, because my family ends with me, I guess.

Oh, shit.

Like,

I've got cousins, I guess, but like, I'm probably not going to have kids.

So, and the world's ending.

Sisters, cousins, aunts.

And the continuing, the continuing pinafore theme.

My most famous ancestor fucked over the Lenape and helped William Penn's son screw them over in the walking purchase.

I mean,

wow.

Yeah.

Guy on the walking purchase on a segue.

I mean, basically, that's what they were doing.

They were running.

Yeah, the fastest runners

in southeast Pennsylvania.

If they were on Segways, they would have fallen into a crick and died.

The vendor of the Segway, which is still the funniest fucking thing ever.

Uh,

oh, oh, this one spooked me.

All right,

this is a spooky looking chip.

I genuinely put a note in here.

This, the, I used to have a book of like

maritime mysteries, and this, for some reason, this picture used to scare me as a kid.

And I would like hold, like, I would like, turn the page, like, not look at it.

I don't know what it is, it is a spooky photo, but for some reason, that one just hit something in my brain.

It's the ghosts, the poltergeists, Tom Crane here, terrified of cranes.

Yeah.

They're unnatural.

I only like inclined planes.

Yeah,

you know, whenever I see a

cell phone loading bulker, ooh boy.

So the USS Cyclops.

Creepy name.

It is a creepy name.

It's don't don't name your ships after shit like that.

You can study too much classics.

Yep.

542 feet long, 65 foot beam, 27-foot eight-inch draft, two boilers, two triple-expansion steam engines, 19,360 long tons displacement.

Same.

Oh, come on.

Don't, don't, don't put yourself down like that.

Yeah, you're not, you're not the, I mean, you're not, first off, you're not the Cyclops.

You know, I'm going to name my next, my ship.

I'm going to name it like something like really, like with like good, good omens, like HMS, that creepy Caravaggio painting of Medusa.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that would be pretty cool.

The USS Skylla and the USS Charybnus,

HMS Holophonus.

Yeah.

So this is a kind of ship that we don't really use anymore, at least in the Navy, which is a Collier, right?

So

that newspaper or the magazine went out of it.

Isn't it gone?

Went out of business.

Colliers?

Yeah.

Colliers, yeah.

This brings the coal to various refueling ports for the United States Navy.

Yeah, remember you used to have to have coaling stations, which is how you got Guantanamo Bay.

Yeah, and they can even refuel ships at sea.

Guy throwing a big sack of anthracite at you over the side.

I'm just imagining Felix playing like ship simulator and in flight, in mission, recollerying.

recoiling and he's going to start talking about that on Chappo.

You know, I mean, this would be a very useful uh ship in let's say the russo-japanese war yes um yes it would yeah so anyway we'll talk about the battle of tsushima on an episode at some point mostly because i just really want to this ship puts to sea on the 16th of february 1918 from beautiful rio de janeiro brazil right

brazil mentioned

well that should probably come to brazil 306 crew i wrote down here i think there might have actually been a bunch of passengers as part of that

compliment.

They're heading for the port of Salvador, Brazil to take on 10,800 tons of manganese ore.

Now,

this ship was only rated for 8,000 tons, but the manganese ore is heavier than coal.

So they just went in and filled the bunkers up to the top.

Sensing a theme again of heavy ships.

Mysteriously, this manganese, I feel like manganese comes up when I'm on this.

It's manganese bulk site.

Is that what that is?

No, manganese is a separate metal.

I believe this was, this is used for like ammunition in some way.

Manganese is in stainless steel, but they didn't have stainless steel yet.

And well, the lack of one of the one of the like lesser known reasons why the third right collapsed, besides the fact that like they were losers and they suck,

was they ran out of manganese, so their steel became all brittle.

Right.

Okay, that makes sense.

I guess it's

for increased ductility,

you know,

which is a useful thing to have.

Does that make it more rigid or less rigid?

It makes it less rigid.

Oh, that sounds good.

Oh, shit.

Yeah, I'm with Nova on this one.

So from beautiful, fabulous Brazil, they set sail on the 22nd of February for fabulous and exotic Baltimore, Maryland.

Yeah, that's your first state.

Brazil.

That's Brazil.

Baltimore.

Baltimore.

Yo, we're going to to go down the ocean, try to watch these ships come in, see the Brazil girls come off.

They put in at Barbados for coal and provisions.

They set off again at March 4th,

and they never arrive.

Tough verdict on Baltimore as a destination.

Anywhere, please, anywhere.

Hey, I've heard leaving is difficult as well.

Oh, we'll get there.

Yeah.

So

this ship was expected in, but, you know, just because it's like, okay, you're not going to start the search until it was expected in, so they don't start searching for the ship until March 23rd, right?

That's when the first consumptive like wife was like, I sense something happened to my husband at sea because I don't

on a pier on the inner harbor next to the aquarium.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh my god, my husband, he ain't, I feel like something bad happened to him out in the ocean,

and I'm going to walk here until

either the O's win the World Series or

my husband called home.

No, what was I going to ask?

There's actually a real question there before I started doing dumb shit.

It'll come back to me.

So there's a bunch of commercial vessels on the lookout, right?

There's, you know, the Navy is intercepting communications between German U-boats, right?

They don't know anything.

They haven't reported, you know, shooting a big collier, right?

No one had seen the cyclops except there was a purported sighting by a molasses tanker oh near the mouth of the chesapeake bay which is notably not in the bermuda triangle right right i think and the captain of that tanker also said i didn't actually say that really big triangle yeah

the no rec no maybe the triangle encompasses the entire ocean

if you expand the triangle out like wide enough I wonder, like, what math nerds shout out in the comments.

What's the biggest the triangle can be?

If you cover one point of it at like one of the Lagrange points, right?

Then technically, if you believe this, every naval accident in human history has happened in the Bermuda triangle.

Yeah, so and so Columbia and Challenger.

Wait, show who shit.

Did Challenger happen in the Bermuda Triangle?

Yeah, yeah, sure.

Fuck.

Edmund Fitzgerald.

The whole world.

The big lake they call

Bermuda Triangle Ooni.

Yeah.

Big Muda.

Apologies to any Ojibwe listening.

I just butchered your language.

You ever have a goldfish die?

Bermuda Triangle.

Bermuda Triangle.

The plot continues.

My third eye is really, like I'm a cover of a tool album right now.

If you stretch the oxidation out on a timeline, then everybody, every human has spontaneously combusted after they died.

The heat death of the universe happens in the Bermuda Triangle.

Jesus fucking Christ.

No wreckage from this ship was ever found, not even some flotsam, right?

There were a bunch of rumors that the ship had put into port in Barbados to refuel, to set sail for Germany and defect.

Oh my god.

Oh my god, it says hunt for Red October, but with Prussians.

The captain was, after all, a damned Dutchman.

Right.

He's Lithuanian.

Eyewitnesses reported a ship named Cyclops in the Kiel Canal in Germany, which turned out to be just a different ship with the same name.

Just a German collier kidnapping would be a really good bit for them to do.

Immediately after losing World War One, to be like, how can we get back on the world stage?

It's easy.

We steal a ship full of manganese.

Yes.

Yeah, it's like the mirror universe, the Terran Empire comes back in time to ensure Nazi Germany has enough manganese

to secure the Gross Deutschland.

And it's a pretty good idea for a story.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We could probably, you know, do this with some kind of high-tech fashion.

Alex Gerson, reach out.

I'll delete all the bad things I said about Discovery.

The Cyclops was declared officially lost with all hands on the 1st of June by the Secretary of the Navy, Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

I got to do FDR's suicide fleet as

a bonus.

I'll write that.

We got to wait a little while because Lions Led by Donkeys just did that.

Did you?

Fuck.

Yeah.

I knew there was a reason why I was thinking of it, but I couldn't think why.

And I was like, oh, yeah.

We have to wait some time between.

Damn.

Yeah, exactly.

Just cut that.

I embarrassed myself.

No, no, start the clock going.

Start the clock going.

This investigation continued into 1922 with the Navy investigating reports that a man in a Philadelphia prison reported that a spy had set off a charge in the hold,

that it was sunk by a U-boat and just no one told anyone.

And of course,

no one knows, but remember that fucking drone that sank?

That never showed up?

Yo, dude,

I knew.

There was a guy in another cell.

He was telling me there was a fucking spiral.

Wow.

Jailhouse snitching extending to ships is really good.

Yes.

It was a fucking one of the fucking U-boats, dude.

I told you.

U-boat getting perp walked like this is bullshit.

I told you.

There was a man.

A man claimed.

He had constructed an enormous underwater cannon several miles off the coast of Cuba,

leads to the shore by a tunnel.

And he had heard that the captain was defecting.

So he fired his underwater cannon at the Cyclops.

Let's fucking sank it.

It is disrupts.

This is, yeah, this is like fucking,

this is like Star Wars shit.

Like, we're going to test this fully operational underwater cannon on the, you know, no, don't fire the cyclops.

It's a peaceful vessel intended to only

provide coal to the people of Baltimore.

You have a target?

A military target?

Well, name the vessel.

Yeah, then, you know, she says the name and then they blow it up anyway.

And then somewhere, somewhere in Baltimore, a fucking O's fans, ew, I just felt a shudder.

Like a fucking like 40 guys

cried out and then were smiling.

Dude, it's fucking spooky.

It's like there's ghosts or something.

So anyway, none of this proved to be true.

You know, and it was kind of like, oh, well, maybe, maybe it's just bad weather and overloading.

Nah.

Yeah, that's

been there.

That is my favorite.

I had not heard that theory.

You're just a fucking big Bertha.

What underwater?

Underwater?

With 1918 metallurgy.

Yep.

Nah, it's still there.

It's the fucking sea dragon, but 50 years too early.

That's what's actually doing all the Bermuda Triangle sinkings.

There's a bunch of fucking Prussians underneath there, like still with the pickleham and like just shooting.

oh my gosh listen if you knew what a world war prussians the world war one u-boats if you do what it was like in them i mean you would do you wouldn't go into an underwater cannon but anything's better than this

there's there's wet prussians castro what are you doing about the wet prussians

food shipping dude that's how they stop bay of pigs i guess so they use the wet prussians

they're just like really old and decrepit down there for some reason they're still alive i mean i guess it's not unreasonable that some 18-year-old from 1918 still be alive.

Yeah, it's for Bay of Pigs.

That makes sense.

So anyway, yeah, it turns out there was bad weather that day.

And you notice supposed last location of Cyclops here.

Barely close to Cape Hatteras, by the way.

Oh, shit.

Certainly pretty far from the Bermuda Triangle.

That looks like an extra-tropical low, kind of like the last one we had in the other episode.

Man, yes.

It's almost like that happens every day.

And they also had one of their engines was malfunctioning.

So, you know, you have asymmetric thrust on there, you know.

So, you know, probably just rolled over in bad weather.

Yeah.

And probably somewhere deep where you can't find it.

And then, like, the other thing is, like, this is like the Gulf Stream.

And so, like, if there is a shipwreck, it could get moved around fairly quickly if it's still floating.

Oh, yeah.

And then, you know, some reports indicated it was difficult even to get out of the harbor at Salvador because it was so overloaded, right?

Just this thing limping away, and everybody's like, Yep, looking good.

Looking good.

Me, me after 50 cent wing night.

Yeah.

Contemporary reports indicated the ship was loaded to the point where the Plimsol line,

which are these various lines here,

was submerged, which is the line that indicates the maximum safe draft.

Like once that's underwater, the ship's overloaded.

You should not, you can't use it, right?

So, yeah, just some fuckery happening here.

Not a mysterious disappearance.

It just turns out, no, people were dumb.

And it wasn't in the triangle.

It was not in the triangle.

Probably when it sank, yeah.

Yeah.

Probably.

Okay.

I almost tripped on some stuff leaving the chair.

Well, don't do that.

Don't die.

No, that would not be good.

During the Bermuda Triangle episode.

Think of all the conspiracies.

Yeah.

I think often about the funniest episode for one of us to die during.

During the steel.

Yeah.

You could fall asleep during the anesthesia episode.

Oh shit, it happened.

You could

shit, what else?

Just get Biford Dolphin during the Bifer Dolphin episode.

You could get spontaneously human combusted.

Oh God, during the spontaneous human combustion episode.

I'd hate to get spontaneously human combusted.

Which would suck.

Adult onset sudden infant death syndrome.

She's died for no reason.

Much like I mean, you can do it, like, terrifying as it is, you know.

It's just, I missed a couple beats.

Dead.

Try not to think about it.

Not very successfully.

You could get, um, I don't know, maybe the house.

Maybe we talk about an earthquake and the big one hits the the East Coast, the rumored big one, the new Dradrid fall.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Carrington event, house catches fire.

We all get killed by our headphones simultaneously.

Like touching

the metal plate.

Yeah.

Yeah, exactly.

It's like touching the stove.

So all podcasters killed at once.

Oh, my God.

I can't believe we had every podcaster in the world recording simultaneously.

The Carrington event, too, waiting for some kind of like podcast convention to strike.

Everyone's going to have to go back to listening to radio.

Most left-wing content out there will be NPR.

Jesus.

Well, they're trying to defund that.

So, you know.

They'd make basically none of their money from the government at this point.

That's the other thing.

I mean,

it's nominally funded by the government, but it's really funded by the Annenberg Foundation.

And by listeners like you.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, that's the original Patreon, isn't it?

they really need to invent chinese patreon or european patreon i'm not pecky so long as it isn't like dollar based because the whole global reserve currency thing

what if we had a phone drive and gave people pay uh tote bags pretty good that's a pretty good idea so long as they pay in gold like one one ingot of gold is get you a tote bag well we'd have to get everyone everyone in the same room right yeah and we'd all be working the phones

i mean the first paper is is already difficult.

Yeah.

And then, well, we would need also to get our friends in there, too, because we need to work all the phones.

Right.

And then ask them to pledge support and then send them a Will Air's Your Problem tote bag.

Yeah.

Just use the kind of language of fundraising and be like, you know, with your help, we can

end the problem of me having to pay rent.

And I could like buy a house.

Exactly.

We could have some celebrity guests.

We could have,

I haven't watched NPR or PBS

telethon before.

We got Iric Loss on.

You got to get the mouth noises there for NPR.

I don't know how they don't filter those out.

It's very difficult to go on NPR because the one time I was on NPR, it was like, yeah, call in for the interview at 5 o'clock in the morning.

Use this terrible app.

I was like,

yeah, sure, I can do that.

And I woke up at 5 o'clock in the morning.

I was like, I can't do this.

I got to be on once for some, I won't even say for one.

I'm the only one who hasn't been on fucking NPR.

We'll get you.

We'll get you on NPR.

We'll get you on NPR.

All right.

All right.

We'll see what Terry is.

Let's go.

It's in Philadelphia, right?

No, but like, I actually got to go to the studio, but this was all before code.

So, but they took a 30-minute interview and then condensed me down to 30 seconds.

Fuck us.

I would have preferred that.

I got the live five-minute interview and I was just so blurry I couldn't do anything.

I was like, what?

What

are we doing?

You can't say that sucks, dick, on NPR.

Yeah,

it might be a mistake to give a live interview to the woman who impulsively played a drop of Eric Adams saying the N-word.

She has access to that technology and is irresponsible enough to do that by accident.

I'm going to try and get you canceled by saying, Well, she played it so that she could say it.

I was using Eric Adams as my like immanuensa.

That's going to be, if you leave that in, that's going to be on Tumblr.

Someone's going to say that.

The only thing that's on Tumblr is like a bunch of people telling me about bad times they had watching movies and one guy who's mad at me about Ukraine, which is kind of like every other social network.

Yeah, that makes sense.

I mean, you know,

I mean,

there's no way people will be happy about you about ukraine you think ukrainians might be but you know all right i don't know we're all going to get held hostage by some azov guys you know and be kind of like well maybe we deserve this in a in a way um

so anyway yeah um once again the ship you know sort of was last reported near Cape Hatteras, notably not in the Bermuda Triangle.

But let's go on to one of the most famous ones, which is Flight 19.

Oh, this one used to scare the shit out of me.

This one was the one that scared me because I used to read about this and a bunch of like Unsolved Mysteries things.

And I was like, hmm, dawning horror.

Yeah.

Nova, did you ever play the Flight Simulator X mission?

No, because I was too scared.

Oh, it was cool.

It was cool.

There's a plane.

You can find it on YouTube, but there's a plane.

Like, your mission is you're flying a Learjet.

There's like a company yacht that's like stuck off Bimini Island.

You have to send a drop pod, which looks oddly like a torpedo.

Uh, but uh, if you stay in the, you can't, if you don't find the yacht, weird shit starts to happen, and like your system starts to turn off and in the plane, and then you see, like, in as the night sets, there's like you see the Cyclops out in the distance, and then you see Flight 19 will circle past you.

These are ghosts.

That's that was that was spooky.

That was, you know, whenever that came out, whenever I played that, that was spooky.

God, they really didn't, uh, they underutilized all of the flight simulators' capacity for storytelling.

I feel like.

Truly.

I mean, now it's just AI voices.

Oh, my fucking bad thing.

Flight Simulator 2024.

Like, wow, it is, I can see by house from here over Percasi.

It's mispronouncing local names and shit.

It makes you, it makes you,

you know, it makes you wonder what Microsoft Train Simulator 2 could have been.

you know, if they still had creative people in there.

Dragon train into the Bermuda Triangle.

Well, yeah, I mean, if you did the, I mean, the Key West extension, it would be a hilarious Microsoft Train Simulator route.

The part of the bright line that's in Miami, like, like, the, that's, that's the part of that's in every time it goes to pull into Miami, it just disappears.

Well, you see the ghost of the old station and all the old, um, all the old trains there, and then there's a ghost of uh, you know, a bunch of Pinkertons just beating your ass.

Um,

there's a, there's a ghost of uh

Jack Ruby making the deal with the USA's to blow up

kill Oswald to make sure they don't know that they ruin it.

Well, I would say Florida East Coast Railroad is one of the most cursed railroads out there because they're the only ones that successfully broke their union.

Although they came back just with UTU as opposed to the various railroad craft unions.

Anyway.

Devin, go bleep me saying,

should we have Devin bleep me sing Gusano as Essler?

It's fine.

It's fine.

It just means one.

Exactly.

Fuck it.

You assholes fuck it suck.

Shady.

All right.

All right.

It's much more offensive.

All right, go ahead.

Sorry, Rod.

December 5th, 1945.

We have to talk about navigational problem number one.

Oh my God.

This is a routine training flight involving navigating to a reef, using Dead Reckoning, bombing that reef, and then returning to base in Fort Lauderdale, right?

Yeah, because I mean, you used to have to, even in like the Pacific in World War II, you had to do so much fucking navigation with no landmarks, just over like open ocean.

Um, and then uh, if you fuck up in any way, sharks eat you.

It sucks.

And your fucking compass, like, right, there's like on the lines.

Yeah, it's a gyro called gyroscopic drift.

So you have to like every, oh shit, I hope I forget to reset my fucking compass so that while I'm over the open ocean, you know, it, it, it's, it's, if you've ever, I'm going to talk about flights again, but try to try find it.

Fly an old plane with just radio nav.

Like delete all the other shit.

Don't use the GPS.

It's genuinely, especially if there's any weather or it's at night, it's genuinely terrifying.

You don't know what it is.

Crabs will eat your bones like Amelia Airheart.

Yes.

So Lieutenant Charles Carroll Taylor was the leader.

There were five Grumman TBF Avengers, but they were made by GM instead of Grumman.

So they were TBM Avengers.

Yeah, I should say

Taylor had like two and a half thousand hours of flying like experience, whereas all of the other guys, his little ducklings, had like

300 total each and like 60 in the Avenger, which is not a lot.

Yeah.

And these planes are, they're torpedo bombers, right?

They're very good at killing submarines.

They're also pretty heavy.

If you've never seen what these naval bombers look like,

here we go.

Their picture's on the fucking screen.

I'm not looking at it.

They're big boys.

They're chonky.

Yes.

So Taylor, whose call sign was,

what, Foxtrot Tango 28, right?

They hadn't even mattered them,

they hadn't invented that.

Yeah, it would be what?

What was Ed?

It would be like some fucking city names, like fucking, I don't know, like Phoenix Tacoma or whatever phoenix actively unhelpful yeah actively unhelpful phonetic alphabet yeah philadelphia um fox would it be fox uh native phonetic is the allied allied military phonetic alphabets

it would be fox and um

oh fuck i confused myself um foxtear

they didn't change it until until 1956 foxtear 28

Lieutenant Taylor, he was late.

And he requested actually not to fly this mission.

And it was denied because he didn't give a reason.

Yeah, they don't let you not go to work in the military because you don't want to, which kind of sucks.

That kind of sucks.

Yeah, I'm not sure I'd be good at that job.

They should change that if they want to recruit anyone, I think.

Yeah, exactly.

I don't feel like fighting today.

I'm going to stay in bed.

I'm not going to do this.

I mean, like, what is fucking Alftrag's tactic if not like trusting a guy to be like this seems like a bad idea you know i i i i mean having seen geopolitical strategy recently by certain countries i do believe sometimes doing nothing is a good idea um

so this flight sets off around 210 p.m instead of the scheduled 145 p.m There's beautiful clear weather.

You know, what can go wrong here other than usual horrific training apps, accidents?

Each of these aircraft is fully fueled.

All of them lacked clocks, right?

Which

we neglected this one aspect in the war economy to turn one of GM's factories into a clock factory.

This would seem important for doing dead reckoning, right?

Where you figure your position based solely on your speed, heading, and time elapsed.

These clocks were apparently very popular with souvenir hunters in the Navy.

Oh, so they're just like, I'm going to get myself a desk clock by like prying one out of the cockpit of one of the, I'm sending, I'm sending a

drumming Avenger back home bit by bit.

And it didn't cost me a dime.

Well, apparently they were 24-hour clocks,

which were hard to get otherwise.

And I was like, all right, that's fine.

Everyone's got to watch.

It'll be fine, right?

Or do they?

So they fly out of Fort Lauderdale and they go to this place,

Hens and Chickens Reef, right?

And they start bombing it, right?

This was evidently completed successfully around three o'clock in the afternoon.

They've been out for less than an hour.

It's a little Sunday drive.

I was about to say, this seems like a pretty easy mission.

You know, this is these guys are about to have a real Gilligans Island experience.

and um and and you're not you're like hens and chickens reef am i on the right one because there's the hens and chickens reef

off is off the keys right

off yes there's one there's one near delaware um but apparently there's also one in between fort lauderdale and like grand bahama okay because there's also one there's also one off of plantation key off the florida keys

well that might be where the confusion came from there's why what why are we naming this

who named this probably the hens and the chickens yeah

commonly called chicken rocks chicken rock it's like uh you get you get uh you get a chicken out of the freezer that's a chicken rock

in the bahamas it's like 66 miles east of florida this was completed successfully around 3 p.m they had finished bombing uh the shoals the reefs according to radio transmissions heard at base right and so they keep going west right?

East, excuse me.

And then they made the turn and immediately got lost.

God fucking damn it.

The compasses on Lieutenant Taylor's plane both went out.

Lieutenant Robert

Cox was on a following training run.

He was, what's the, what's the F and the T again?

Foxter.

Foxter 74.

He picked up radio from flight 19 around 340-ish.

He made contact asking if they could be of assistance assistance because it was like they were clearly talking about, I think we're lost.

Um, and uh, Taylor was, for whatever reason, entirely sure they had somehow flown to the Florida Keys, and he was now attempting to find Fort Lauderdale.

He was advised to put the sun on his port wing because, you know, the sun sets in the west and it was afternoon and fly north along the coast, right?

You, and you would, like, if it's clear weather, like you're flying over the Florida Keys, you'd be able to see.

Like,

you wouldn't be like, oh, where's Fort Lauderdale?

You just have the whole fucking Florida north of you.

You could see it from the air.

It's very close.

It's very shallow.

Listen, I took

my Comanche all the way from Doylestown Airport down to down the Key West in flight simulator.

I don't have a plane in real life.

You're not allowed to fly a plane if you have diagnosed and treated ADHD.

Really?

That's bullshit.

Oh, yeah, you have to lie about it.

You have to lie about it.

Jesus,

there's going to be a major pilot shortage pretty soon.

But like,

obviously, like, I'm not a pilot.

I play, it's a flight simulator, but you could see what you would see in real life.

And if there's no weather, you can, even from like 2,000 feet up, you could fucking see Florida from the Florida Keys.

It's not that hard.

It's just, it's like one of a bunch of different like kind of command brain problems where you get in like an e-day fix, right?

You get something stuck in your head and you're like, well, this is my basic assumption.

I'm not going to like question that.

So like my whole fucking decision loop thing or whatever is going to be.

OOOOOO hasn't been disrupted yet.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

My O, my first O and my OODA loop is wrong.

And so I've just like, well, second O, the second O and my OODA loop is fucking wrong.

And so now all of my loops are going to be fucked.

Oh, I hate when all my loops get fucked.

And right now, just, you know,

at the mention of OODA loop, the EDC guys who are still listening just came in their pants.

They fucking love the OODA loop.

You know, they love to make a decision.

The Naval Air Station contacted Taylor, asked if he could turn on the YG transmitter, right?

Which is what we now call IFF or identification, friend or foe.

That's so you know if you should shoot at a plane or not, right?

So they could triangulate their location.

The U.S.

Navy famously good at that with airliners yes it's just it's it's like

you know the the old military joke about how the most dangerous thing in the world is a lieutenant with a compass

the most dangerous thing in the world is not a lieutenant with a compass it's a lieutenant without a compass four o'clock

yeah

fox terror 2-8 replied he did not fox terror 7-4 decided all right I'm going to fly south and try and meet you and lead you back to land, right?

Oh, to like get lost with like two different guys on the phone with you trying to talk you in, and you're getting more lost.

You're getting more lost.

This reminds me of a time when I was working at retail.

We had someone trying to find the store I was working at.

And I said, Well, I need you to drive west on this road.

And they're like, Well, what direction is West?

It's like, well, I can't.

I can't.

If you don't know what direction you're facing, I can't help you.

Like, that's I don't know where West is.

She was like getting all frustrated, too.

Like, sorry.

This is what GPS is doing to people.

Yep.

yeah for real that's why i don't use that

instead i just get lost like an adult i mean honestly yeah like

around 426 fox terror 28 reported they had sighted a small island but no other land in sight

and this was probably grand bahama or the oh come on the abaco islands right

nevertheless the lieutenant was convinced this is the florida keys we have somehow flown into the Florida Keys.

And at this point, the Air Sea Rescue Task Force in the Florida Everglades was alerted.

And they started to try and locate Fox Terra 28's YG transmitter, right?

Civilian merchant ships were also told to be on the lookout.

More than 20 ground-based facilities were also looking for the planes in the wrong place.

Complicating matters was that the radio frequency Fox Fox Terra 28 was using experienced heavy interference from Cuban radio stations.

Not even like communist sabotage, because it's 46.

You're getting like Maya Lansky's radio Havana.

You're getting Cuban bops

while you're trying to listen out for this guy.

Oh my god, there's too much rumba.

I can't understand.

Yeah, he said something about the Florida Keys, and then he got cut off by the Maracas.

Yeah.

Oh, they play the flute too goddamn good.

How do you play guitar like that

all right so

the three straight minutes of picardia advertisements um

and some cigars as well um rc rescue suggested a plane with a good compass should take over navigation because you know again there's well excuse the good compass yeah get that one that one plane we have there's four planes here

All these guys have done this training procedure several times before.

Let one of them go ahead.

Come on.

Crew resource management, not a thing yet.

I mean, think about it.

It's worse, like, worse than being one of the other aviators is being one of the gunners because you're just along for the ride.

You're weight.

And you're just chilling in the back as it becomes increasingly apparent that the four guys up front have no idea what they're doing.

You're just watching.

You're just eating your bag lunch.

You're just like, there's nothing, there's nothing for me to do here.

Like, I can't.

Except watch Florida get smaller and smaller.

This is one of the things that used to make me really anxious.

Yeah.

Say, guys, I think we could probably turn around and make it.

Why don't we just try heading west?

Let's just try it.

Like, what?

Like, please,

you know what?

Hold that thought.

The problem is that the guy up front is the guy up front because the first question he thought to ask is, Can I be an officer?

And you didn't think to ask that question.

You said yes, way too fast.

Go take back

Fox Terra 28 acknowledged, but the transmission was so garbled, no one could figure out if he actually did that.

We were garbled often enough.

Yeah.

Fox Terra 7-4 loses contact while flying south to meet the planes which were flying north.

So standard procedure at Naval Air Station Fort Lauderdale for lost aircraft was to fly directly towards the sun until you reach the mainland and then navigate via landmarks.

That's west.

Sun sets in the west.

I suppose in the morning they'd fly away from the sun.

I don't know.

It's this weird terror to be like, I am over the keys.

If I fly west, I will be flying to my certain doom in the Gulf of Mexico.

Sorry, the Gulf of America.

I guess.

I guess.

Yeah.

It's like, surely easier to get found if you're lost in the Gulf of America, I guess, than in the fucking Atlantic.

But if you were going to be where I looked at where the shoal is, the chicken rocks, you would have had to hit Florida.

You would have had to fly over Biscayne Bay to get yourself over the keys.

It's like maybe I missed it.

It doesn't make any sense.

Who is this motherfucker?

Was this like some fucking Boston Brahmin dumbass?

Like legacy admit to the Naval Academy?

Who tended?

Wow.

They're really dipping into the bottom of the the barrel here.

Born 1917 in Nueces County, Texas.

Oh, yeah, that's that's a problem there.

So, not only, not only are you like

you're in the back of one of these, you're in your gun turret, you've eaten your bag lunch.

Uh, there's a bunch of like frenzied radio calls with like rumba music, and meanwhile, the the guy who's getting you all killed is this foghorn leghorn motherfucker.

Oh, my God.

Fox Terror 28.

Announced over the radio since they think they're in the Gulf of America.

Well,

I say I will fly ahead in 030 for 45 minutes to ensure I'm not in the Gulf of Mexico.

I do declare I did on my most recent overflight observe out of my window the fuels the very hips in mid-sentence.

The very shape and appearance of the keys attached to

the peninsula of Florida.

If the Confederacy had won the war, the entire Confederate States Air Force would be like this.

That's why Pickett's charge failed.

He was too busy doing a speech.

Every officer, every fucking like lieutenant and cornet or whatever fucking bullshit they had back then was giving his own version of the speech.

You know, why I do declare that you are the very sons of lysander oh the damn you

just immediately

ripped apart if your guys have been getting shot through the brain pan by a guy who used to run a general store in ohio yeah yeah yeah so you must charge like they had like they had done so at a just a guy on the other side yo load him up yo

you

i put

i put

you this is like the the this yo we're the 69th nice Uh, fucking Philadelphia Phillies battalion.

We got the fucking Phillies flag on the fucking gun.

Dude, I put triple shot in that fucking thing.

Dude, it's like Miller Light, triple hops brood, fucking triple shot.

Just imagine that's your last thought is like some fucking like fucking proto-hoagie mouth dip shit.

Yo, I fucking fucking, dude.

I'm gonna stab him in the dick.

All right, fuck a World War II reenactment.

We got to start.

We got to start crafting the first Pennsylvania Secret Service regiments of infantry.

Oh, hell yes.

So Fox Terra 7-8, you know, Lieutenant Cox, he's in the previous training flight.

Or no, he's now called Lieutenant Cox because he's on the ground, right?

He strongly suspects that this training flight is lost just around Bahama Bank.

And ARC Rescue concurred.

They're like, yeah, they're probably lost there.

Let's go out, send out a plane to go get them, right?

We're going to dispatch the ready plane

at a heading of 075

to intercept them.

Right.

We're going to establish a radio relay and we're going to get them back before anything stupid happens.

Right.

These radio transmissions from Flight 19, they're starting to get fainter.

They're starting to have problems.

They try and get Fox.

What is it again?

Fox Tear.

Fox Tear 28 to switch to a different frequency that doesn't have Cuban radio on it.

And he's like, no, I'll lose contact with my other planes.

So he doesn't do that.

So they're stuck with the Maracas the whole time.

At least you have a nice soundtrack as you die.

This is true.

Yeah.

The transmissions from Flight 19, again, they're getting fainter, but they do hear hear at least two of the student pilots saying something like, damn it, head west.

We'll get home if we head west.

Oh,

new motherfuckers.

Yeah, you control the buttons you press, right?

Like that guy might be mad at you.

He's in another plane.

You can just fly away from him.

Yes.

He's going to, he, all right, he can die.

He can go off.

He's, he's thinking about Faulkner.

He's doing the Faulkner thing right now.

He's trying to, he's thinking about Pickett's charge.

He's daydreaming about this.

And yeah, just fucking turn west, dude.

Yeah, exactly.

They knew where they were.

Go the other way.

It's so obvious.

And this is what frustrated me.

Like, I know, like,

obviously, we're like self-selected nerds here, but like, I have a geography brain.

You think you need a geography brain to be a pilot?

Like, I can just tell from a map in my mind where these things are.

Like, it may.

Oh,

I do declare I'm over the Keep.

No, you were not over the Keat.

You were bombing in in the Bahamas.

Yeah, exactly.

Ask the gunner.

He can see land.

He's got the reciprocal view behind you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's now about five o'clock in the evening, right?

Yeah, so it's almost night probably because it's like in December.

Jesus fucking Christ.

Just before the plane was about to be sent out to intercept them, the air station

got a fix on the flight, right?

And it was far, far off course.

But there was good news.

Fox Terror 28 had come to his senses.

they'd fly due west until they hit the beach or ran out of gas so they didn't send out the plane anyway so an hour later he changed his mind

29 north 79 west is that what it said yes that's fucking off of daytona beach this this guy he he graduated from from naval air station corpus christi texas so this is an all texas failure

born in texas raised in Texas, trained in Texas.

We teach our officers real instinctual navigation.

We don't have needs for numbers.

This is what it's going to be like when they purge woke out of the military.

It's going to be like this again.

Flight 19, yeah, they'd been triangulated to a position within 100 miles of

29 degrees north, 79 degrees west.

No one had actually thought to tell Fox Terror 28 that, though.

They had not told him that, or to tell his students that, in case the lieutenant was too stubborn or stupid.

So by 6.20, the transmissions were getting more and more garbled.

Foxter 28 tells his man, all planes close up tight.

We'll have to ditch unless landfall.

When the first plane drops to 10 gallons, we all go down together.

Oh my God, this fucking Decembrist's ass piece of shit.

Romantic notions having...

Oh, Jesus Christ.

No, this is your own stupid stupid asshole.

If I'm the gunner, I'm willing the gun to traverse 180 degrees.

I was about to say, yeah.

And they're ditching in what is becoming increasingly stormy weather, right?

So, you know, command back on land says, all right, it's time to dispatch the search and rescue planes because they overhear this transmission, right?

So there's a PBY Catalina dispatched at six o'clock.

They didn't find them.

They had a bunch of of transmitter trouble.

I love those Catalinas.

Beautiful planes.

And then at the Naval Air Station in Banana River, there were two PBM-5 Mariners.

That's this guy up here.

Who were not affectionately nicknamed the flying gas tanks?

Is that good?

Are we about to see some spontaneous human combustion?

They were diverted from a nighttime navigational training mission and instead sent on a search and rescue mission for the presumably downed planes shortly after takeoff one of them explodes and crashes into the ocean so yes

a sudden onset at all onset and spontaneous human combustion yes

maybe we should do something about the the pilots smoking

this is this is in a lot of recountings this is mystified as They never saw or heard from that plane again, but there was a passing ship that saw it happen in front of them and, in fact, went to go to the huge oil slick and look for survivors.

I just imagine like this thing explodes into just like into bits.

Like, oh my God, they disappeared.

Like,

where did they go?

It was replaced by this huge explosion.

I don't know what it is.

It was the underwater gun.

Jesus Christ, I've just had an extremely chapel row moment because I went to look up the PBM Mariner and the one, two, three, four, fifth picture on that page is a PBM being hoisted aboard the seaplane tender USS Curtis.

But the plane has a name and the name painted under the ball turret in front is hot to go.

So marketing campaign getting everywhere.

Oh,

I thought it said hot dog, which would be like, that's my plane.

Come on.

This is cool.

No, it says hot to go.

It's just misspelled.

it's h-o-t-o-g-o

hot toga that's a button that was what the greeks were really into for for like yeah the fucking like um

instead of yoga pants they're wearing togas yeah

doing yoga with their your foreskin tied in a ribbon so your glands wouldn't get exposed because that's gauche

chap chapel rone if you're listening come on a podcast hell yeah hell yeah

i mean fucking she might be we do have people everywhere that's the truth this is true yeah we we got shooters.

Anyway, so a lot of times in a lot of the literature, this is mystified as, yeah, they never saw the plane again.

No.

Oh, I already said this, didn't I?

Okay.

But yeah, these planes were known to suddenly explode for no reason.

This was a known problem with them.

Yeah, that happens sometimes.

Yeah.

That's just American engineering for you.

Thank God Trump's bringing it back.

I mean, Tesla's.

Yeah, that's true.

That's true.

The search for survivors continued for five days, came up with numerous other wrecks of similar planes, but not anything from Flight 19.

I mean, they fuckers were like crashing into the ocean.

It's the entirety of the fucking Corpus Christi Naval Academy detachment.

The graduating class just

Corpus Christi Naval Community College.

You're You're a rank lower than the Merchant Marines.

America's 76th line of defense.

Yeah.

Between Naval As Station Corpus Christi and the League of Women Voters.

Yeah, I think the Coast Guard Women's Auxiliary is

still there.

Yeah.

The waves, the waves, they're there.

They're a little ahead.

The final report initially

blamed Taylor.

Yeah.

Because he was now

named Taylor because he's not in the air anymore.

He's underwater.

He's meeting the Prussians.

Yeah.

Upon protest by his mother, this report was amended to cause unknown since Taylor's compass was out and there was no physical evidence to be found.

It's really cool how one woman being like, don't call my son a useless piece of shit

is enough to like spark decades of conspiracy theories.

Yeah.

I got to tell you, if I had a kid, if I had a son who did this, I'd be like, nah, he was a fucking idiot.

I completely

I fucked up.

All this time, I put into this fucking idiot, teaching them directions.

Do you know how many maps he has in this fucking room?

Well, this is 19, like, so he's like a, like, you know, when was he fucking born?

Like 1917?

Yeah.

He was always on that.

He was always on that fucking radio, listening to

the Procter and Gamble soap hour.

You know, never looking at his maps.

Yeah.

Be sure to drink your oval teen.

Anyway, that's what his compass said.

This guy got the most lost anyone has ever gotten.

Yeah.

And that's like, there's also like, wasn't it like the tech TV guy who got lost?

Or am I thinking of a different guy?

There was, there was a game.

There was like a game.

The guy got lost in Oregon following his GPS.

He drove over a forest,

like a forest service road in the middle of winter because his GPS told them.

I'm laughing, it is actually a tragedy.

People got to learn to navigate.

You, you, you, you should know where you should know what direction you're facing.

If you step outside and you look where the sun is, you know what time of day, you should be able to go, oh, I know the general direction,

yes, especially if you're going somewhere remote, um,

or you're in an aeroplane.

Um,

14 men on flight 19 were lost, as well as all 13 crew of the Martin PBM that decided to explode that day.

Jesus.

Poor bad.

Don't smoke in the red barrel room of the flying boat.

Don't.

Yeah, exactly.

To this day, people have tried searching for Flight 19 and they've come up with dozens of other wrecked aircraft, but not the five in this incident.

Making it the U.S.

Navy's most effective operational use of camouflage.

Yeah, I mean,

both aircraft, they were on that shit early.

I mean, it's got to be somewhere.

I mean,

the, the fucking coastal plain goes pretty far out that area.

So it's, it's got to be somewhere.

I keep sending Grumman TBF Avengers into the ocean and they keep disappearing.

Well, it sounds like you're just feeding the ocean TBF Avengers.

That's actually why sea levels rise.

Yeah.

We're still sending them out to this day.

You'd think they would have learned their lesson by now.

No.

fucking corpus greasy pilots.

God damn it, how many are there?

It's amazing.

Texas has a positive growth rate.

Um, so now we have to talk a bit about um the two incidents that really resulted in the formation of the myth of the Bermuda triangle, right?

Um, which were two.

I see the bad flag on the tailplane.

Oh,

that's this is our fault.

Yeah, get the urge to do a weird, the weird salute,

Getting the urge to eat an entire stick of kerry gold.

We got to talk about British South American Airways.

There's a bunch of pilots from World War II.

They decide, fuck it, let's start an airline.

Yeah, BSAA's in-house specialty was weird disappearances.

Yes.

There's another couple specifically that I want to talk about in future episodes because they are spooky.

This is spooky too.

The planes all had rising damp for some reason.

Yeah.

The planes all had rising damp.

The pilots all had like massive PTSD.

Yeah.

You know, there's this whole bunch of ex-military transports around you can get for a discount.

You know, starting an airline right now, it's cheap, easy, and fun.

Right.

You can just buy a Dakota for like nothing.

Yeah.

In this case, we're talking about BSAA Star Tiger, right?

Which is an Avro Tudor 4.

This is not the same aircraft, but it is a similar aircraft, right?

This is based on a Lancaster heavy bomber right or is it lancaster because it's british

lancaster yeah lank lan okay the lancet the lancaster heavy bomber lancaster heavy bombers just yeah we're just dropping whoopee pies yeah no there's a bunch of horses in there there's a puppy a puppy farm inside

yeah we're taking that we're taking the the pennsylvania dutch uh regiment or wing out from spring and holy

pennsylvania we've we found a comp we found a companion to the Pennsylvania Secret Service, the Pennsylvania Dutch Air Force.

Yeah, it's just like

a buggy with wings badge on the emblem.

Fuck, I gotta, okay, well, I gotta make that now, and there will be a t-shirt link in the description.

Yes, please.

It's a stealth unit.

It's got no lights, but it does have the orange reflector on it.

They were providing close air support at the Battle of Gettysburg.

They could put an airfield up in a day.

They were doing wild weasel because they were trying to avoid the underwater Prussian gun.

I hate having to go to the Pennsylvania Dutch Air Force's control tower raising.

There's no electronics inside.

We've just invented cargo cults again from First Principles.

Yes.

Well, no,

but they actually have aircraft.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

You know, there's like, uh, you know, there's people churning aircraft fuel.

You know, there's

everybody has a cargo cult, but there's works.

Yeah, exactly.

But the real hardworking guys, I mean, they're kind of annoying, but, you know, they, they do, you know, you don't want that they want any union problems when you hire these guys.

You know what I mean?

Just

do their work.

You know, build a hell of a fake fireplace.

Every single plane's got a fake fireplace inside.

Oh, hell yeah.

Nova, i don't know if you're familiar with this oh not at all so they used to sell on on like uh infomercials uh amish made

uh fake fireplaces like electronic fireplaces uh-huh amish made i but but but how do you have like a like a shabos guy for like

i think they made the wood the wood like frame of it and then i guess the electronics were someone else took yeah took care of that they are they're They are allowed for certain reasons dealing with the English to use technology.

Yes.

Uh-huh.

Gotcha.

Yeah.

Oh, here we go.

Here, I'm going to put it.

This is the website.

It's called Dutch Crafters.

Here you go.

They're only $2,000.

For the listeners outside of Pennsylvania,

the English is how the Amish refer to everyone who's not Amish.

And they're not Dutch.

They're German.

They're fucking weird.

This is also true.

They are Anabaptists, in fact.

Fantastic.

Yeah.

So down the

weirdly high-resolution USAF wings.jpeg

the Avro Tudor 4 was based on a

Lancaster heavy bomber.

It was Britain's first pressurized airliner.

And so said BSAA chief pilot and operations manager Gordon Starr.

The Tudor was built like a battleship.

It was noisy.

I had no confidence in its engines, and its systems were hopeless.

The Americans were 50 years ahead of us in systems engineering.

All the hydraulics, the air conditioning equipment, and the recircling fans were crammed together under the floor without any thought.

Land of hope and glory.

There were fuel-burning heaters that would never work.

We had the floorboards up in flight again and again.

Like an apartment with rising dam.

Yes.

Parts of a far arch plane.

And did those feet in ancient times?

Going back to like the William Blake archive, and he has one of these in his fucking fever dreams.

25 passengers, six crew board Star Tiger on the 28th of January, 1948 in Lisbon.

Then they were kicked off while they worked worked on the port inner engine.

Probably running a rat lines route.

Then two hours later, they were let back on again and the plane departed for refueling at Santa Maria in the Azores.

Part of the Bermuda Triangle, we've established that.

Apparently, yeah.

First time looking at this point of the Bermuda Triangle, we've all been on the other side so far.

The weather was absolute garbage, so they waited until the next day to depart for the main leg to Bermuda, a distance of 2,300 miles, which was just at the outer edge of the airplane's range.

Oh, 30% in reserve is a rule for a reason.

Listen, I didn't survive like terror bombing Germany

for you to ask me to have 30% reserve.

Come on.

I didn't need 30% reserve question when the firebomb drives and it doesn't get killed.

Yeah.

The weather improved, but the headwinds were still very strong.

Hold on, right.

Did I miss a paragraph?

No.

You're good.

Okay, yeah.

They waited until the next day.

The weather improved, but the headwinds were very strong.

Captain Brian McMillan decided to fly low at 2,000 feet to avoid the worst of the wind.

Flying low, famously good for your fuel efficiency.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, it's great.

And people love it.

They can see stuff out the windows.

That's true.

Like the water.

And the water.

increasingly close at flight 19 and all the other ghosts.

Yeah,

he kept in radio contact with the flight ahead, which is another BSAA flight with uh flown by Captain Frank Griffin.

Uh, that was on an Avro uh Lancastrian, which is a

converted bomber, yeah.

Um, like even more of a converted bomber, yeah.

No, this is based on the bomber.

That one actually was a bomber.

You accidentally could ditch your, you could actually ditch the passengers,

yeah.

The passenger aimer sits up front.

Yeah.

So, yeah, he is keeping in radio contact with the flight ahead of him to determine the weather conditions, but the Tudor 4 was also slightly faster.

So, over about 10 hours, he closed the distance, right?

Now, by that time,

Frank Griffin on the Lancastrian realized, okay, we've been blown about 60 miles off course.

He did this through celestial navigation.

Yeah, because the Lancastrian had a dome that you can look out at the stars through, yeah, yeah.

Planes had this, but like you didn't have radio range for like a VOR or whatever, like any of the other radio navigation.

Yes, you had a you said, sent a guy to the dome with the sexton, literally, is what they did.

Back to Aubrey Matcher and again,

yep, that's it's all it all goes back to the sea.

So, he he relays this back to um the um the uh to star tiger to star star tiger, yes.

Um, cool code name, and so well, it's the name of the airplane, It's a cool, cool airplane name.

Yeah, exactly.

And so the navigator on the Star Tiger figures out a new course,

which puts them directly into a gale to get to Bermuda.

Captain Macmillan was like, ah, we'll probably still land with about an hour's worth of fuel left, though.

We're fine, right?

So later that night, a merchant ship about halfway between Bermuda.

and the Delaware Bay

caught sight of a low-flying aircraft heading directly towards Cape Hatteras.

No, no, no.

So far, it's not even the Bermuda Triangle.

It's just Cape Hatteras.

Just Cape Hatteras.

They keep avoiding the Bermuda Triangle.

Yeah.

You pass through the Bermuda Triangle and then something bad happens.

Contact with the aircraft was lost about three o'clock in the morning from land.

Griffin's flight was approaching Bermuda around four o'clock in the morning.

He radioed Star Tiger to say he was switching to the telephone to contact Bermuda Approach Control.

He received no response.

Um, there was no contact with the flight from that point onwards.

Um, the search lasted five days and just god-awful weather, turned up absolutely nothing.

Adds to list of mysterious disappearances.

Yes, you know, there's a couple, there's a couple theories as to what happened here, one of which is that they forgot they were only at 2,000 feet and started descending from 20,000 feet.

Whoops, that's a that's a pretty, like, I don't, like, that's a hard mistake.

Yeah, I would hope so.

You know, the other one is, of course, they're just way off course.

You know, the weather's too bad.

Yeah.

The planes weren't that good back then.

No.

BSAA's tutors were all grounded, but upon protest from officials from the airline, a formal investigation was held, and it was completely inconclusive.

So they started flying the planes again.

Okay, sure.

Yeah, we don't know what happened.

uh let's put them back in service so bsaa star aerial was another avro tutor four

is it four or six did i copy that wrong i don't know because they're just both they both exist i think they're both fours and then i did the roman numerals backwards

they don't even they're not even around anymore it's a fuck yeah exactly

On January 17th, 1949, it was pressed into service when another aircraft's engine failed on landing

to take the passengers from that aircraft from Bermuda to Kingston, Jamaica, right?

This is not such a long flight, right?

The weather was excellent.

The flight was taken at high altitude because you have efficiency up there and the weather's good enough to do it.

And after exactly two radio transmissions to Kingston,

the flight went completely silent and never showed up.

And six days of searching turned up nothing.

Whoops.

Yeah.

So, you know, there's some questions that day about radio reception, allegations of sabotage of the plane, right?

Nothing firm.

Some other later theories include, you know, since the heaters were burning fuel and located in between the hydraulic lines.

Oh, good.

Maybe there was a leak in the hydraulic line and then the plane just exploded, right?

Oh, the old PVM Mariner.

Yeah,

maybe some of these planes just exploded.

You know, it's a bad design.

There's a reason they don't fly them anymore.

But these two incidents with very similar airplanes in the region, these are the incidents that sort of led to the conspiracy of the Bermuda Triangle, which is, again, fairly recent, as Tom discussed earlier.

These two shitty planes crashed in circumstances easily explained by other things.

It must be a vortex.

Probably.

It must be Atlantis.

Wow.

It's the vortex of capitalism.

You weren't meant to sail west.

Tolkien was right.

You're trying to fly a plane.

The Numenorians are trying to fly a plane to Valinor to bomb

the seat of

the Balar.

And as a consequence, they were destroyed with the Hubris.

Yeah.

And a lot of these mysterious Permuda Triangle stuff, it's it's like, you know, it's more mysterious because no one survived.

Let's talk about one where people did.

There we go.

Well, let's talk about that.

Finally, a good fucking ship.

Yeah.

Look at that topsail schooner.

That is so.

This is like, oh, beautiful.

I'm doing the chef's kiss.

People can't see.

This is the pride of Baltimore.

You,

this is my pride, Joy.

You.

The Pride of Baltimore was laid down in April of 1976.

It was launched in February 1977.

It was commissioned by Mayor William Donald Schieffer on May 1st, 1977 as a global goodwill ambassador for the charmed city, for the state of Maryland, and most importantly, for the Chesapeake Bay Area, you know, the land of pleasant living.

Just imagine like for Fleet Week, the pride of Baltimore coming into your fucking port to like spread goodwill.

We're spreading goodwill, yes, what's off?

Just tossing natty bows out.

Yo, guys, try some crab cakes.

It's a replica Baltimore Clipper, 90 feet long, 23 feet beam, 9 foot, 9 inch draft.

Did we lose November?

No, I'm here.

I've just, I was muted because I was busy trying to Photoshop an Amish buggy

onto a pair of Air Force Navigator wings.

Sorry.

Oh, yes.

This is some real municipal goodness here.

I was just

appreciate a mayor commissioning a sailing ship, and I don't think enough mayors do that.

No, and this is entirely paid for by the city of Baltimore.

I assume that Nova was just struck in awe.

Yes.

It is.

I can't say enough.

This is a fucking beautiful ship.

I want it.

Yeah.

This is a topsail schooner, right?

Topsail schooner, yeah.

This is built at tremendous expense to be as accurate to the original as possible with the original methods of craftsmanship in full view of the public,

adjacent to the Maryland Science Center, right there in the middle of the inner harbor, complete with demonstrations and tours of the construction, all paid for by the city.

I'm just imagine.

Yeah, we're here.

We're here at the Maryland Science Center, and it's like a guy in a lab coat, but it's like he's got a Ravens jersey on underneath.

And we're here trying to figure out ways to get fucked up quicker.

We've developed a natty boat with twice the alcohols.

Give me a second here, guys.

My recording just stopped.

Uh-oh.

Fuck.

I think I know why.

Uh-oh.

Let's see if I can beat the clock here.

Your audio recording or your...

The audio, not the video, but the video will stop soon.

It's showing on, like,

the thing.

It's connected.

But the local stopped due to lack of hard drive space.

I think I beat it.

Do you want to?

Fingers crossed.

Yep.

20 gigabytes left.

Says it's still recording.

All right, let's go.

So, anyway, we're at the Maryland Science Center.

We're trying

to develop

advancements in crab cakes.

Advancements in having an accent pretty similar to Philadelphia, but not quite.

All right.

I got a second local going.

Oh, my God.

I knew I should have checked that before I started.

I figured I had space, though.

Damn.

Anyway, you know, now it's going to be impossible to buy hard drives owing to the tariffs, but

that's true.

You're just hot swapping hard drives as you're.

Yeah, exactly.

So, yeah, they built this as sort of a

public service, right?

As sort of, you know,

we're going to have this as a Goodwill Ambassador.

It's also going to be an exhibit for the Bicentennial.

We're going to build this Baltimore, we're going to build this Baltimore Clipper.

You know, we're going to bring people around to see it.

You know,

this is entirely for the people.

It's rare that you see

civic-mindedness like this anymore.

You know, I mean, you know, these days people will be like, why are you spending all that money on a boat when you could spend it on police beating up black people?

You know,

it's an incredible thing that they did.

So it spent nine years sailing the seas.

It visited ports all over the Americas and Europe.

It racked up about 150,000 miles.

And on May 14th, 1986, while sailing home from Puerto Rico, she sailed into a microburst and capsized basically instantly

and sank, killing three of the crew and the captain.

They must have caught it with like out, like, like in a compromising position where you couldn't like, like, brief the sails fast.

No, it was, it was really fast apparently according to the the the folks who survived it was like there it it it was you know because this boat was known to this ship was known to you know it was wet as they say getting getting like barrets privateered but for the city of baltimore in the 70s in the 70s of like the 20th century the the the mid 80s yeah jesus yeah

um the storm was so violent there was not even time to send a distress call right?

It just flipped over.

The remaining eight crew managed to cling to a partially inflated life raft for

four days,

or I think five days.

They were in a busy shipping lane, and they at least had flares, and they sighted about half a dozen ships who didn't respond to the flares.

It's like, fuck you, don't want to, don't feel like it.

Yeah.

There's a special place in boat hell for you.

Not rendering aid.

They are eventually picked up in the middle of the night by a passing Norwegian tanker who happened to spot them because everyone's wearing their high-viz stuff.

They managed to somehow, they were out of flares.

Yeah.

Um, but somehow this tanker spots them.

Um, and and the tanker picks them up and you know, gives them food and shelter.

The one guy was like, damn, we smelled really bad.

There's actually flare strategy.

I don't know if you know that.

There's like when you're doing like your search and rescue training, there's like a, or any like boat operations training, there's like, yeah, you, there's like a certain way you use your flares.

Like, you're supposed to, like, well, if you have aerial ones, you're supposed to use them first, and then like you signal your like fighter location with the handheld.

But like, yeah, like you're not supposed to burn them all at once.

I'm not saying they did, but like.

No, I don't think they did.

I think it was just like

people are assholes.

People are assholes, I guess.

Well, it was all like cruise ships and stuff.

So, you know.

It was probably a bunch of fucking Colts fans.

Yeah, exactly.

So this is, you know, ultimately, I think the lesson of the Bermuda Triangle is like, okay, sometimes shit just happens.

And, you know, that shit just happens to happen in the Bermuda Triangle.

And the other thing is...

Where those stuff occurs?

They immediately started building prior to Baltimore 2.

Hell yeah.

Hell yeah.

Which I believe is laid laid up at the moment.

Unfortunately,

they're transferring it to a non-profit rather than having it owned by the city.

Laid up in ordinary her captain on half pay.

Something like that.

That sounds like a Patrick O'Brien novel.

Yeah.

Bring her back.

Bring her back.

Every city should have a ship.

That's a good point.

Yeah.

Like, Philadelphia should, well, I like, all right.

Philadelphia should have like a frigate.

Yeah.

We got the Moshulu.

I don't think that's seaworthy.

No, we should have is a reproduction of the USS Philadelphia,

which I think was one of the original six.

Was she a full ship?

Yeah, she was a full ship 36 gun frigate.

So she would have been like a six or eight, I guess, by British standards.

How's the Photoshop going, Nova?

Yeah,

real good.

Real good.

I'm trying to do like a tail section on

a Pennsylvania Dutch buggy.

Which it's going pretty well.

Get like the SVG, or like so that way people can put it on Blender and

make liveries for Flight Zim.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

So, yeah, even to this day, you know, things are still happening in the Bermuda Triangle, probably because it's part of the ocean.

Yeah.

Like we said,

the SS El Faro happened in the Bermuda Triangle.

Yeah.

Because it's like part of the ocean.

How deep does this conspiracy go?

All the way to the underwater gun.

All the way to Atlantis.

And here on this slide, I put this in here.

This is just a,

this is a 1950 Associate Press article.

It popularized the idea before it was named the Bermuda Triangle.

And you could see, and also

beautiful handwritten lettering here describing the different vessels that disappeared.

Oh, that is like

Flight 19 is on there.

I'm trying to see what Star Tiger's on there.

I love how that turns into like a PBM rescue plane with 13 aboard was also lost as opposed to exploded mid-flight because like all the pipes were made out of like cardboard and leaked kerosene everywhere look i look at i'm reading the captions this map made by a staff artist remember when they used to have those oh my god many moons ago when these old girls were young yeah we used to plane carrying 32 persons flew nearly a thousand miles toward miami but never arrived

Mysteries of air sea remind moderns the shrinking world still swallows up men.

What a headline.

No one's gonna foot rate a fucking No, with the headlines now, our

train runs into people.

Like, oh, it jumped off.

You could still disappear forever and never be found.

Yeah, I like moderns as a derogatory term.

Yeah, yeah.

Remind feckless moderns.

Feckless spards.

Yeah, whoever wrote this was like a big in the celestial navigation.

This radio thing will never serve.

Will never serve.

You have to know your stars.

You have to know your canopus and arctaris.

Oh my God.

Yeah.

No, I, but it's a great headline because, yeah, even though it's a shrinky world, so you have like a nice, you have like, you have nice figurative language.

You know, it swallows up men because you're not, we think, we think we're the master of the world.

I really do.

We still do.

Like, and we're not that far removed from

fucking steam engines and

having to pop up to the fucking navigation dome.

Yeah, and we, but, but we did develop the weather machine to send the hurricanes away.

Yeah.

But they'll have to go through here.

We're not that good yet.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They have to gain a little momentum before we could push them.

Yeah.

All right, you can go to the next slide.

This one fucking drives me nuts.

So yeah.

I was looking for a map of common seagoing routes of trade in the Bermuda Triangle.

You'll see that somewhere in this gallery of bullshit is

that somewhere.

He never came back.

What

really happened?

Did he survive this?

Did he survive?

Yeah, let's let's look at these.

Uh, I hate you, Shiv.

Just pilots survive.

This is what he said.

We saw he saw what a plane, a fucking like Mooney flying into a vortex with lightning underneath.

I like how the one, the sec, like like column one, row two, which is like a it's it's the AI generated instead of like a whirlpool, like a triangle shaped.

Triangle whirlpool.

Oh, yeah.

Just ships being sunk.

Did he survive this?

This was the last time I saw them.

Unlocking Bermuda Triangle's Darkest Secrets.

Bermuda Triangle.

Bermuda Triangle.

I like the idea that the Bermuda Triangle is actually just a small triangle-shaped depression in the ocean.

No one was able to avoid this chart at that point.

You see it and you're like, oh, fuck.

It's over.

It's sucking in an A380.

It's pulling an A380 from 40,000 feet down into it.

If Scylla and Truribnus were like modern navigational obstacles, that you just say, all right,

just don't go near them.

Yeah.

That's pretty easy.

It's like, okay, about six nautical miles out, you know, when you get near the sirens, put your earplugs in.

You know, we would have procedures about this.

I should have clicked on this.

This says Bermuda Triangle, Miracle of Silence, and it's an AI generated image of a whirlpool, but also like a water spout inside the whirlpool and it says the bermuda triangle and it's a powerpoint that rolls oh yeah i should have i should have looked that up but uh yeah it's or we have we have like a toxic sign and this that plane that's a 787 that looks like to be uh coming out of it yeah oh yeah yeah yeah it's just all right you want you want like a you know a horrible bizarre like uh phenomenon in terms of the ocean.

Look at the Bay of Fundy.

I mean, yeah, that's some weird shit.

Yeah, exactly.

Listen, I've, I've flown over the Bermuda Triangle several times in actual real life.

I am not dead yet.

I think a lot of people have is the thing.

Anyone mystery is, is not, it doesn't have hands anymore.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We have, you, we have like live 24-7 coverage of the ocean.

You can pull up flight radar.

You can pull up, well, in fact, uh,

marine traffic.com.

Yeah, yeah.

That might be.

Oh,

here's my rant.

God, I fucking hate AI.

I fucking hate the internet.

The internet should have been Wikipedia and email.

We peaked in 93.

Just end this pilot, this fucking planet already.

Look at these titles and thumbnails.

This is the stuff that teenagers watch instead of reading at school.

This is why hacks like Brandon Sanderson have jobs.

This is why people are writing books with info boxes in them describing character stats and like their power rankings and shit in the middle of a fucking book.

There's a real darkness in Brandon Sanderson.

I read a long piece about him that

got some of the surface weirdness, but I think missed some of the

real.

There's, I don't know.

I felt brushed by the wings of something dark with Brandon Sanderson.

Was that the one where the guy lived with him for like a couple of days?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If you, I've said this to you before, if there's ever anyone, but Dove, if you want to do a takedown in this motherfucker, I watched all his lectures.

Hate watch them.

Uh-huh.

I hate that he sucks.

He's so fucking feckless.

I don't know who this person is.

He's like a Mormon science fiction author.

And there's going to be people who are like, and then when, like, but like, but Tom, you suck.

Cause like, I read in the book when it, when, like, the, the, the, the ghost, like, that floats around that tells you what emotion you're supposed to feel said, sad.

I cried and it made me feel really important.

And, like, there's like, like, the, like, the racism, like, where it's your eye color that really like stood in for like the racism of like your skin color.

Um, and I thought that was really good world building.

Read adult books.

Stop reading Harry Potter.

Fucking read, God, read, read books.

You want to be sad?

Read anything a Russian's ever written.

I was

over last weekend, I watched,

it was part of Adam Curtis's, I forget what the documentary was called.

I got really mad because it looked really anti-nuclear.

And then, you know, at the very end, there was an interview with one of the Soviet scientists.

And he was like, well, our reactors sucked because our scientists never read Dostoevsky and Tolstoy.

And I was like, oh, shit, no, this is entirely right.

My opinion has gone 180 degrees.

You need a broad education.

You can't just have STEM.

Yeah, no, you read

good literature, not young adult novels.

That's trash that's supposed to go into garbage.

Yeah.

Oh, this is the most

thing.

I have said stuff like this back when I was still active on Twitter, and I had had people like go off on it.

You want to read it for fun?

Fucking go ahead.

But it's like, like, I like, I'm going to eat a cheesesteak.

I'm not going to eat a cheesesteak every fucking day.

I got to get some vegetables.

And, and, you know, yeah, go, go, go read literature that's a vegetable of the brain.

It's kind of fucking wild.

Yes.

Yeah, you have to, you have to get, get some good fiction in you.

I, I mean, yeah, this is also like a danger of reading too much non-fiction books.

Yeah, it's like, damn, I got World War II pilled because I read too many dad books.

Yeah, you have it's a balanced diet, you know, and you need your Star Trek technical man.

Yes, this is also true.

I have to need, I need to know how the holodeck collects the cum uh that's clearly covering the floors and using that in the replicators because it's break it down constituent matter.

You can go to the next slide.

Not linger.

Look, here's this was a snapshot taken today by me looking at marine traffic.

Look at all those boats going through the Bermuda Triangle.

I wonder how many of them made it safely home.

Probably all of them, because we would have heard about it.

That's a lot of boats.

Except for the ones up here at Cape Hatteras.

All these guys are dead.

Yeah.

Oh, God.

Terrifying.

Yeah.

You just can't ship anything through that.

Listen, it's called the graveyard of the Atlantic for a fucking reason.

I can't believe they sent people there.

Yeah.

Nominative determinism sometimes, you know,

is real, especially if the name came after the thing that happened.

Yes.

So

I have like, so what's the real cause?

Is it like the spooky vortex?

And we didn't even touch

the methane.

How do you say?

Claret?

Clathrates.

Clathrate theory where

methane is bubbling out of, because of global warming, out of the seabed.

And it's reducing the density of the water.

And these like boats are just sinking.

That wouldn't make sense even 50 years ago.

it's it's it's called it's called hurricanes it's called hurricanes once that problem is bad enough we're already dead yeah

um

or or is it like a case of cherry-picking data from a high traffic area that's also prone to severe weather uh probably it's probably you can you can never can you ever be sure i don't think so i it could be the ghosts that are driving the weather i mean

no god's way we're forced to we're forced to assume so and uh panic yeah um here's and here's the most important like fact right if you if if you own a ship, you don't have to pay any extra insurance for going through the triangle.

If it really was a thing, they would be charging you up the ass.

Yes.

Yeah.

Why are you going to take that into the death zone?

You know, like, please don't do that.

We don't, you're, you're actually, your contract is void now because you, it would be like a rot, like, like a clause in it.

Like, all right, you can't take your ship to the premium triangle unless you pay the money because uh, everyone dies there.

Yeah, it would be like conducting any business in the United States six months from now.

Yeah, exactly.

Like, if I, if, if I, what are you doing?

Get out.

Like, I'm sure there's like a clause in my, in my life insurance that if I, if I built like my own, my own space rocket and, and blew myself up, they might be like, yeah, that was fucking idiot.

Like, we're not paying.

This is for, this is for a heart attack, not for, not for trying to become like, not trying to build a rocket.

Not trying to be Elon Musk.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, and there was a quote from Noah.

I'll leave that.

It says, There's no evidence that mysterious disappearances occur with any greater frequency in the permuted triangle than any other large, well-traveled area of the ocean.

That's fine.

They fired the guy who wrote that.

So, like, now Noah's gonna be like, ah, no, draw your own conclusions.

You drop, you jumped on me there.

That's what I was gonna say next.

Sorry, sorry.

It's okay.

It's okay.

Yeah.

So, what's the verdict?

I guess Bermuda Triangle real?

Is it fake?

Devin, can you put in the

Jonathan Frakes?

It's fake.

fake we made it up

it's it's real but really selectively like it did the like british airplane but none of the other ones yeah it's gonna be like 50 years from now like flight 19 is gonna come back in yeah you know

sorry guys

maybe maybe like there's like some weird antipode thing so like flight 19 will come out of the indian ocean and then like malaysian airlines flight was at 370 will pop up out of the virginia triangle and they crash into each other Oh my god,

just like, yeah,

it's because they don't take celestial navigation

exactly twice.

Yeah, that would have been a fun episode of the, what's that episode of Star Trek Yesterday's Enterprise, where the Enterprise C comes out of the time vortex, but imagine that the Enterprise D just like runs into it.

They just both explode.

It just ends credits.

Yeah.

End of the series.

End of the series.

It's not a time loop.

Yeah, that's that's just the end of the series.

Five-minute episodes.

Random money.

That would be a really funny way to end a Star Trek series.

They all die.

That's it.

I hope that's how they end Discovery.

Yeah.

God, that shit fucking sucks.

Ooh, it's the mycelium.

Shut the fuck.

And then you go to the 32nd century and you get ships when the cells that aren't attached to the ship.

They look like

fucking just, I don't know.

They just fucking look stupid.

Make the ships look cool.

Yeah.

Fucking fuck you.

We found out a spatial anomaly.

We better go into it.

Oh, it turns out it was a black hole.

Shit.

They called it a black star in the

original series.

It's like, oh, what do they mean by that?

Not a black hole.

Well,

all right.

So, yeah,

Bermuda Triangle is fine.

Bermuda Triangle disproved.

Conspiracy theorists and pieces.

Yes.

We've debunked it finally.

On the thumbnail.

Don't go to Cape Hatteras unless you're on the beaches.

The thumbnail needs to be Roz doing like a Ben Shapiro like.

Yeah.

Don't go into the Bermuda Triangle or do go into the Bermuda Triangle.

Let's say for the sake of argument, the Okamade flight of U.S.

Navy

torpedo bombers.

And let's say for the sake of argument that you don't know what you're doing.

And let's say that hypothetically, the compasses on your aircraft break.

What would you do?

What would you do?

You're supposed to have compasses on your airplane.

The airplane's compasses are tied into the clocks.

So, why would you get rid of them?

It doesn't make any sense.

It doesn't make any logical sense.

These are men in World War II.

They knew what they were doing.

This sounds to me like some sort of welcome smear campaign designed to make us think that men from Corvus Christie can't fly in planes.

And I don't believe it.

We are scared by the fact that this Texan man didn't have pronouns.

Yes.

The only man without pronouns in existence.

Wow.

You can't have

My pronouns are well and I see.

My pronouns are sweet and tea.

Now, we have a segment on this podcast called Safety Third.

Trying to do Eric Adams there.

Shake hands with danger.

Ahoy, Nova, Liam, and Roz.

That's a good greeting.

The Ahoy was well chosen, I thought.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No Liam, unfortunately.

And various awesome guest hosts.

saved it.

I would like to share a story about aviation safety and a hastily thought-out and very stupid idea.

I once worked as a mechanic for a small flying service.

We operated a fleet of small seaplanes.

Oh, my God.

One of which is the subject of this story.

I hope that's the seaplane.

This is a gorgeous truck.

I got to stop playing Snow Runner again.

On the very first day on the job, my first task was assisting in beaching a seaplane from the ocean onto a poorly maintained homemade trailer and towing it across the airfield to our hangar where it needed to be serviced.

This was normally done with a well-worn and very rusty pickup truck owing to the fact that it was regularly driven into the ocean.

This rules, this rules, and then also used to spread salt on icy winter roads.

Oh, it

On this particular day, a large amount of slimy seaweed had washed ashore, and this truck, which had most of its bed under water and was blowing bubbles out the tailpipe like a kid with a straw and a cup of Coca-Cola,

had become buried up to the axles in seaweed, unable to move and unable to disengage the attached seaplane, which was sitting on the trailer, holding it to the sea floor.

The floats were only partially floating.

Nightmare.

A fellow mechanic and I were dispatched in another pickup truck with a chain and a handheld radio.

Since we had to keep two-way communications with everyone else using the airfield, lest we cross into the path of an arriving or departing aircraft.

In hindsight, this was a really stupid mission.

As I say nothing i haven't done in snow runner or spin tires yeah hook a truck to a truck to a trailer to a 70 year old airplane and tow it out of the ocean when when i used to play kerbal space program this is how all my space missions tended to end

when you can go out there and pull it back i just

your capsule accidentally like uh gets sent to the bottom of the ocean you start freaking the fuck out of the plastic

You ever seen like the specially modified like sea spane, seaplane specific pickup trucks?

Oh, yeah.

They roll the really high ones.

You can like crank upwards.

No, like they cut, they cut the bed off and then they put an extension on the front.

Oh, sick.

That's pretty cool looking.

Let me let me Google this real quick.

Yeah.

It is very funny.

It's fundamentally not one of these, but it's very funny looking.

It's like a backwards truck.

It's a backwards truck.

Yeah.

When we arrived at the beach, beach, we parked the second truck on wet grass and we attached it to the half-submerged seaweed-encased truck with a 20-foot-long chain.

I got out with a handheld radio to act as a safety observer, which was not very effective, owing to the insane cacophony that was about to commence.

What I saw still blows my mind to this day.

The mechanic in the second truck took up the slack and began to pull, with two 4x4 trucks pulling with all their might and spinning their

tires wildly against wet vegetation, this convoy went nowhere.

The pilot had the idea to utilize the thrust of the seaplane.

Reverse thrust.

Reverse thrust.

The sound of this seaweed being ground into nothing.

To utilize the thrust of the seaplane as a third source of power to push the trailer and attached truck up the beach this is me show a why not this is me getting yelled at and playing uh bat in bat sim and flight simulator because i use reverse throts to back away from the terminal you can't do that right you're not allowed to do that i do what i want

we established radio communications between the three vehicles and myself and began the maneuver, which eat with each operator having independent throttle throttle control over their respective vehicle much like old-timey steam train engineers had to do to start moving a multi-unit freight train push-pull right

the driver of the stuck truck gave it full throttle instantly and dug it deeper into the mire while the other two operators applied steadily increasing power as they began to inch forward.

Progress was not fast and the amount of power to complete the maneuver needed to be increased.

You are going to crush the middle guy like into a cube.

At first, it started to look like the dumbass express would solve the problem of getting on an airplane with no wheels unmired from the seaweed and onto dry land as this corrosion-riddled mechanical centipede inched very slowly up the beach.

And then all hell broke loose.

With the combined horsepower of the two trucks with their eight spinning wheels with essentially no traction and the aircraft pushing now at full takeoff power with its floats shoved against the front bulkhead of the trailer,

there was over 1,000 combined horsepower now engaged in an effort to move about 20 feet.

When the stuck truck's rear wheels had finally breached the surface of the ocean, they suddenly broke through the seaweed and dug into the beach surface, which was made of sand and medium-sized rocks.

Oh, God.

The chaos that erupted sounded like a miniature version of a World War II air battle as a nine-cylinder, 450-horsepower radial aircraft engine in the rear and two V8 truck engines in the front roared, and the second truck sprayed fist-sized rocks towards the airplane, which was, again, I cannot stress this enough, at full throttle takeoff power, spinning an eight-foot metal propeller.

Rock and sand instantly began to bounce off the trailer in the hollow metal floats of the airplane, which, if you know anything about acoustics, sounded like a death metal drummer on acid.

People across the bay told me they heard it from up to a mile away.

Miraculously, none hit the aircraft itself as far as we know, as it

sat approximately four feet above the floats.

So I guess gravity kept it safe.

The semi-submersible truck driver, essentially dirt bike-style, roosted a pickup truck at an airplane, full power with beach sand and rocks.

Jesus.

When I thought about the carnage that even a single, let alone hundreds of rocks kicked up by spinning tires, hitting a propeller, spinning at 2,400 RPMs, could have done, I vowed never to do anything like this again.

Yeah.

Yeah,

not a great idea.

Had the truck been better maintained and equipped with better tires, there likely would have been a shredded wreck of an airplane, or maybe it wouldn't have gotten stuck in the first place.

I guess we'll never know.

I'm falling out of love with seaplanes, which is a difficult thing to say as someone who loves the movie Polka Rosso.

Sometimes they just explode for no reason.

I mean, you know,

in hindsight, we should have coupled the first truck to one of the many tractors or construction vehicles on or around the airfield, which likely would have snapped it in half.

But time is money.

So we used a short daisy chain of medium-duty, rotten pickup trucks with poor traction instead.

We nearly destroyed a $500,000 aircraft.

Why don't we have pickup truck multiple units?

I mean, that would be.

That would make a lot of sense to me.

How do the guys who do like the high-end wide loads do it?

You know, they can hitch up multiple

tractor trailers together.

You know,

so when the dumbass express, which had traveled only approximately 80 feet, was finally on dry level ground, we pulled all the rocks and slimy seaweed off the trailer and the seaplane floats, and the rusty wreck of a pickup truck successfully pulled the rickety monstrosity to the hangar, from whence it still flies to this day.

I'm assuming that's the seaplane and not the pickup truck.

I greatly enjoy your podcast.

It helps keep stupid crap like this from occurring while also also keeping smiles on thousands of faces.

Thank you.

Please don't cancel your Pedro.

Yeah.

All the best from Piper.

He, him, they.

Thank you, Piper.

Thank you, Piper.

I was sort of hoping that

the plane at full takeoff power would start lifting the truck and

towing the truck.

Like, it starts to fly, but it's like barely airborne.

It's just the truck is just getting dragged.

It's pulled just a trailer up with it.

It's whipping.

It's just whipping behind it.

Yeah, it's just like knocking shit over

and the plane's just flying on its own there's no one in there

that would have been very it would have been directly flies directly to the bermuda triangle

drone a kind of drone sea plane and like actually the spinning action caused by the the the fugoid uh flight uh shape actually crates the vortex and then like you know a a full A380 flies out of it just in that thumbnail.

Yeah, exactly.

And then the plane from from the vortex, the course is changed and it flies directly into the Cape Hatteras lighthouse.

Just as they're loading it on the train, it knocks it over.

And the whole time it's going.

All right.

Well, that was safety third.

Shake hands with danger.

Our next episode will be on Chernobyl.

Does anyone have any commercials before we go?

Go listen to 10,000 Lawsets Podcasts.

It's the only Philadelphia sports podcast that exists.

You could learn all kinds of exciting things from the last episode, such as why all sex in space will have to be BDSM.

Because otherwise you just float away.

Yeah.

Unless that's being a Bratty sub.

She keeps loosening the straps, goddammit.

it um

no yeah go listen to that because uh roz had to step in because it's the same reason i'm i'm in here because liam's off gallivanting in uh places redacted uh having fun wow who would do that typical selfish yeah

um yeah go listen to that podcast uh if you want to find me tom payne on blue sky um and uh yeah go listen to that podcast we've had roz on we've had novo on um

and one of our bonuses and it's tangentially about sports at this point Dumb bullshit.

Dumb bullshit.

You have the sports in the middle of the ad structure, and then you just, you know, you talk about things.

Yeah.

And

our success or whatever is entirely tied to how good the sports teams are doing.

We got like a thousand first-week downloads on the one with the Super Bowl.

Because I guess people are just like, oh, fuck it.

I'll listen to this one.

They're talking about the Super Bowl.

They're actually talking about sports.

But yeah.

No,

go check that one out.

In short, go Phills.

Yeah, go Phils.

We beat the Dodgers.

Oh, hell yeah.

Yeah.

So we missed that, but we gave the Dodgers their first loss.

I think these Phillies, I think these kids are good.

Yes.

They might be good at baseball.

All right.

Perfect.

All right.

Sounds good.

All right.

Let's hope it was perfect.

All right.

If my face is in this, Devin, please delete it.

How do I?

All right.

No, that's the wrong button.

You have to hit the stop button.

Yeah, I have to hit the stop button.