Bonus Episode 45 PREVIEW: Stealth Part 2

Ooh, b2 spirit.

Hello.

This airframe is the B2 Spirit.

It is a beautiful aircraft.

And at a steal, at the cost of only $2.5 billion per airframe, you can get four airframes for the price of ending homelessness in the U.S.

for an entire year.

How many podcasts would I have to start to buy a B2 Spirit?

Always, at least one more.

Well, what's the cost of a used one?

That's the real question.

I think I pre-owned B2 stealth.

I do like that if you look on the the bottom left by the landing gear they've labeled these two guys uh spirits of pennsylvania on the right and on the left you have ed

yes

well that's ed rendell

trim ed yeah demonstrating the spirits of pennsylvania yeah what is the spirit of pennsylvania if you had to put like a sort of vibe on it uh what is oh

probably rittenhouse rye yeah yeah well they don't make it in pennsylvania but yeah oh damn for a while you could buy it in Pennsylvania.

You had to SLO it from the liquor store, but that's beyond the point.

The spirit of Pennsylvania is walking into his sheets.

It is 12.30 in the morning.

You are already drunk.

You have walked there.

This podcast does not condone drunk driving.

You walk to the sheets on Queen Street like I used to do.

You go in there and you buy a roller coat.

And then at some point, someone from a rival school.

uh says something mean that hurts your feelings uh and you start throwing hands at a sheet parking lot sheets parking lot

and at some point your hoodie comes off, and you're just shirtless in a sheets parking lot.

It's 12:45 a.m.

You've got a wad of cope, and you don't know where you are.

That's the spirit of Pennsylvania.

Beautiful.

You were wearing basketball shorts this entire time.

I just rewrote this for those of you listening on audio only to say, Fine wine and good spirits of Pennsylvania.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Can you get it in?

All right.

I'm going to do some live on air research.

Everybody, hang tight.

Yeah, shut up.

Can you order a B2 through the state store?

Can you imagine, man?

That would be awesome.

I once had, because, like,

Chris really likes Rittenhouse Rye.

Yeah, you can get it in the store now.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's really good.

I had a bottle of it, and I had someone ask me, is this named for Kyle Rittenhouse?

It is not.

And the idea that someone had put out like a kind of bottled-in-bond rye whiskey named after the like sort of doughy fascist murderer kid was and like and and started producing and bottling it well before

yeah the incident occurred it's a four-year-old rye

strange strange sort of tenant you know yeah a little bit a little bit of uh yeah i i i'd have some conspiracy theories about that

what did they know well it's owned in uh it's owned by heaven hill is it i i believe it is distilled by heaven hill yeah i so i don't know i believe it's it is named for rittenhouse square or David Rittenhouse, the early American astronomer.

Okay, the Spirit of Pennsylvania.

I can't tell you where I first saw this bird, but I knew that it existed.

And I wanted to show you guys that.

Mission fulfilled.

They have now done several minutes of like authentic Pennsylvania nonsense.

I mean, as the best modern medical technology turned me into a Philly girl.

So I'm already that.

If you want to go stealthy, let's go to Philadelphia.

Yeah, koo-hoo, motherfucker.

We can either talk about this particular planet some more or can go down to the next slide where we are going to pick up about the changes to modern stealth technology after the F-111.

Sorry, after the F-111.

I can mention one thing really quickly about the B-2 spirit, which is that

it's crazy how much there's still a bomber mafia in the U.S.

Air Force.

in a way that there isn't in the RAF really, because just there wasn't the numbers or the budget for it, but like still having air-delivered nuclear weapons, which is one of the things that the B2 is meant to do, right?

It's like, you know, it was intended as air defense penetration, yes.

There was a very, very stupid book out

about like how a hypothetical war, like nuclear exchange between like the US and North Korea might go down.

And in that book, just out, I forget the author's name.

In that book, one of the dumber things that directly precipitates World War III

is the US retaliating to a North Korean nuclear strike with ICBMs overflying Russia, which precipitates a Russian retaliation.

Yeah, you would hope.

But one of the things you also have besides submarines is these things.

Like, if anybody is going to be penetrating North Korean air defense to

try and kill Kim Jong-un, it's going to be these things.

So,

and they're kind of like, you know,

that's going to be a fun time time for everyone concerned, and we hope it never happens.

But it's what it's for, amongst other things, right?

It's like very, very kind of contested, defended aspects.

I am not saying anything for very good reasons.

Nuking North Korea almost sounds unfair.

I mean, I mean, I think nuking anyone is kind of unfair, right?

Yeah, that's not.

I mean, that's why we're not.

Yeah, it's unfair at a kind of like a, you know, atomic level, if you like.

It's like, oh, my God, they, they lobbed their one nuke at us.

And I don't know.

That's literally what happens in the book.

It's so fucking dumb.

I swear to God, they do a decapitation strike on Washington, D.C.,

and then the U.S.

tries to nuke North Korea and starts World War III with Russia.

It's the dumbest fucking break.

I don't understand why I wouldn't just park a submarine.

And the United States

launched from Convent U.S.

anyway.

You do one of our,

this is speculation warning.

You do one of our unmanned drone submarines armed with nuclear weapons to launch them from, say, the Bering Strait.

North Korean ICBMs have that kind of range.

I'm imagining more of a situation where they take out the

cannery in American Samoa.

I mean, basically.

It's, you know, the kind of thing where you might start sweating a bit more if you're on Guam, but like, yeah,

I don't know.

We'll see.

We'll see.

I have a slide, and this is slide.

They actually pick out the ocean about 60 miles offshore of the cannery in American Samoa.

Slide 47 is where I'm going to do all my rampant speculation.

If we go to the next slide, we can talk more about the B2.

Disrupt some fishing grounds for a few weeks.

Oh, we're going to do Operation Paul Bunyan 2, Operation Harder.

Changes in modern stealth technology.

You'll notice that the B2 does not look like the F-117, which,

correcting an additional not in errata, but I didn't have the the number for you off the top of my head of the picture.

If you go back to the previous episode, just re-watch it for the YouTube metrics, go back to the previous episode and look when we're talking about satellite imagery of Edwards Air Force Base, there was a white plane on the tarmac with swing wings.

That was the F-117, sorry, F-111.

That was the precursor swing wing to the F-14 Tomcat, which you know from Topcan.

Back to this slide.

The changes to stellar technology were less of the...

angles because angles are bad for air.

We went to very smooth top and bottom surfaces and tried to minimize the back reflections by having sharper,

but not sharp themselves leading edges.

And we can have sharp trailing edges.

Air is fine with that.

Because of those design constraints, it actually opened up a lot of aerodynamic performance.

And we'll see this design persists into the modern era with the next slide, which we're not going to yet.

Well, which we're not going to yet.

I reacted too quick.

Yeah, we solved it.

This is the shape that it is.

This is the shape that carries heavy things and is reasonably stealthy.

You get these zigzaggy back edges because you kind of want to make a triangle, but you don't want to create new angles.

We only have, I'm going to say two angles.

Technically, it's four, but you only have two diagonals you're worried about, and those two diagonals make a cross.

Those two diagonals are about 35 degrees away from the side, not the front.

So that's how they're measuring them.

I don't agree with the way they measured them on this chart, but I did not have time to make my own.

So you get something measured from the right-hand side angle, not the nose of the aircraft.

From the nose of the aircraft to the side, it's a 55-degree angle, which is what I'm used to referencing when I was doing things I can't tell you about.

This particular design is really good.

We'll see it again in the future.

It allows for war crimes to be done without anybody knowing about them.

Next slide, please.

I don't like the aesthetic of this one.

It looks too much like the cartoon ghost.

Yeah, I was thinking, what if America bomber, but spooky?

This is the B-21.

It is a thing that exists.

It should not.

When the U.S.

Air Force, well, when the U.S.

Military Acquisitions Department gave the F-35

away to a different group than the group that created the B-2,

after killing my darling doll, my baby, my F-23,

they then got into trouble for not giving an aircraft to the makers of the B-2 stealth bomber.

And so they created a new bomber program.

This, my friends, is a B-21.

This is modern day.

It is, to my knowledge, redacted.

But the B-20 B-21 is a very expensive bird.

The

bomber mafia, again and again.

They called this the B-21 Raider and they got the last surviving doolittle raider to come to the ribbon cutting.

And it's like, that's, that's a hell of a military tradition to still be dining out on in hopes that one day you get to like glass Pyongyang, you know?

Yeah.

Well, but we do know at least.

A10 Mafia, man.

It's just me.

It's not just you.

It is not just you.

That's all I just gotta say.

It's a lot of fun.

What we're gonna do is, you've heard of depleted uranium munitions.

Now we're gonna get the active uranium munitions.

So I'm gonna find, I'm gonna make David Crockett bullets.

But meanwhile, we spend here angling for another laser pig response video.

Oh, Jesus.

But yeah, like

you spend like

$11 kajillion dollars to create Casper the Friendly Ghost who thinks only of the Three Gorges Dam.

And you're like, oh,

cool.

Thanks for this.

What we do know at least is this is 19 better than the B2.

It's a full 20 better than the B1.

Even the B1 with

engines, which hilariously is genuinely named the B1R or boner.

Wow.

I have a proposal for this, right?

In 2008 in the barracks.

The B2s are all spirit of state.

I propose that the B21s are named vibes of state because if something gets to blow up the Three Gorges Dam and drown a bunch of people for next to no reason and make it so that, like, you know, World War III starts and, you know, everything downstream of that.

It should be called vibes of Pennsylvania.

Can't argue with that large.

We like dams here.

Just like the plane that takes its shirt off before it starts dropping orders.

Okay.

Well, you know what?

I would like to do so.

The first munition that comes out of this has like, you're lucky I'm on parole painted on it.

It's like we discussed on 10,000 losses, the intercontinental ballistic hoagie

or multiple hoagie

re-entry vehicles.

This can also deliver hoagies in bomb form.

To your friends.

Yeah.

International friends.

You can deliver them without them knowing who the sender was and to their unsuspecting heads, I'm assuming.

That's Secret Santa.

Looking at the place where North Korea was and being like, I wonder who could have done this.

So this particular airframe has the optimistic, if you wanted to drop hokies on your friends, this airframe has the optimistic price of only $700 million per airframe.

I'm going to go out and I'm going to say that we just simply haven't yet heard of the cost overruns and the budget thing.

So this is an active self-aircraft development project.

And that if we get out the door for five times that, I will consider that a steal.

I will also consider it a complete waste of money.

But like, you know.

You get what you pay for.

And if you're paying for genocide, that's what you get.

So this, the program is budgeted for $203 billion over the next 30 years.

And that is the budget.

And as we all know, the U.S.

never goes over budget on large defense spending projects.

That would be silly and that would be slander.

And I couldn't say that in my professional role, even though I am attending as a private citizen in this moment.

Public procurement is the one thing the United States has downpat.

We are great at it in all sectors.

You're good, dude.

I'm really enjoying this idea.

this is the first, the first podcast to really start racking up the Hatch Act violations, you know?

Um, so this particular airframe program could basically end homelessness for the entire duration of its existence that's budgeted for.

Instead of doing that, we're going to have we're going to have bombers that are never going to see combat.

I think you'd have a hard time landing munitions on every homeless person.

Jesus Christ.

You know,

distributed targets are not a stealth bomber's best target option.

If you want to avoid one of these things, just go and stand in a field on your own and make all of your friends stand in like adjacent people.

Just make it not worth the cost of the bomb.

The U.S.

will drop it anyway, but they will only get like one out of the ten of you of your friends standing out in that 40-acre field.

So, yeah, and now, and now Afghanistan is an Islamic Emirate, so you know, the shit works out, sort of.

Exactly.

We do what we must because we can.

Next slide, please.

Oh, now we're into the really goofy stuff.