Starting A Business For More Freedom & Flexibility

Hello and welcome to the You Can Podcast. I'm your host, Sarah Jolly Jarvis, and today I am joined by Liz Danford.
Now, Liz and I have got a bit of history, really, which we will come on to in a little bit. But to start off with, I'm going to get Liz to introduce herself because today we're going to be talking around starting a business and your motivations behind having a business and how we can kind of, how things can evolve over time.
And that's what's happened with Liz for Liz. So over to you Liz tell us a little bit about yourself.
Thank you Sarah for having me on your podcast I'm really excited to to be here so my name is Liz Stanford and I have two businesses one is called the Calm Birth School which is a hypnobirthing training business and one is is called BUBBA, the Birth and Baby Business Academy,

which is a membership for birth and baby business owners

to help them with their businesses.

And that's me.

Brilliant.

Okay.

So Liz and I met with the Calm Birth School when you were an instructor.

Yeah.

So back when I was pregnant with my first, Clara.

And yeah, Liz. And then actually, and then I had like a little session with you as well for number two as well.
So yes, yes. So I knew Martin, your husband, before I met you.
Wasn't I working with Martin? I think I was. And then that's how we kind of connected.
So so yeah that my my journey feels like oh god it feels so long and I'm rubbish at timelines so forgive me when I'm thinking like what happened first and when did this happen but I've been running my own business now for um full-time probably for about eight years but I decided um full-time for eight years part-time probably for about three or four years yeah part-time for it when it was a side hustle yeah and how did it all come about so after I so I've got three children and after I gave birth to my first child who just turned 17 a couple of weeks ago so that seems like a lifetime ago shortly after I gave birth to her like literally within weeks I started thinking I don't want to go back to work like everything felt so totally totally different to me and my job at the time, I was like a PA office manager for a security company. And I loved my job.
I loved the people that I worked with. I got a lot of satisfaction, a lot of fulfillment from it.
I was paid very well. There was lots of bonuses.
There was nothing wrong with the job. And I thought I could go back and be as committed.
And as like involved, like I used to work crazy hours and not think anything of it, like it was totally normal. But after having a baby, I just remember thinking, how can I like, I can't do that.
I can't, I cannot do that anymore. I'm going to miss so much or like I'm not going to have any kind of life whatsoever so I started thinking like what can I do what can I do how can I um how can I generate money to support my family because at that time there was no way that I could have not contributed and I remember saying to my husband I don't really want to go back to work.
And he just looked at me and he goes, no, no, no, you have to go back to work. Like, what are you talking about? You have to go back to work.
Yeah, but maybe. And I think I was just really naive.
Like I was looking at things like MLMs thinking, could I make money like as an Avon lady or something like that? And I know people who make so much money and do so well from those kind of things. It's not for me, though.
It's definitely not the thing for me. But like absolute hats off to people who can manage that.
And I looked at other things. I started thinking, could I set up a cleaning company with my I hate cleaning my own house but I was like I could maybe run a cleaning company all of these things anyway I had to put it to bed for um for a little while and then I had my second child and I felt the same again after I had him I don't want to go back I don't want to go back um I just found it really, really challenging.
And my husband said to me, why don't you train in hypnobirthing? Because hypnobirthing was what I used to prepare for both of my children. And I was like, me, me? You're talking to me? Because I had no like teaching experience, no business experience, like nothing.
And he was like, yeah, you would be really, really good at it. So between him and my mom, they kind of bullied me into it, pushed me into it.
I went and did the training. And it was a difficult time, actually, because I, it was two years after my son was born.
And shortly after I did the training, I there that I eventually did the training two years after he told me to do it. My husband told me to do it.
I then I then found myself in the pits of depression. So I had what they called post nasal depression, but I would just call it depression now.
And that was incredibly challenging to to navigate whilst learning something new and trying to set up a business. But I did it.
And thankfully, I did it. So that's where I started as a hypnobirthing instructor with absolutely no, zero, zero business knowledge, no clue what on earth I was supposed to do, how to get clients or how to promote myself.
Social media was not what it is now. And yeah, it's just been such a journey since then, that I've ended up now owning my own hypnobirthing training company, writing a training program, training people all over the world to become hypnobirthing instructors and to create their own business

and then setting up another business at the same time so it's it's been a journey and a half Sarah

I have to say. It has so what was motivating you in that was it just I don't I don't want to go

but what was it about going back to work that? It was like the lack of flexibility, the lack of control that you have over your own time. And I remember the first day that my daughter went to, luckily, I had my parents and my in-laws did like all the childcare.
So I was very lucky in that respect, didn't have to pay for any of that um and I remember the first day my daughter went to my mom's house and I went to see her at lunchtime I was just in floods of tears at the thought of like going back to the office and just like leaving her and also like a little bit of resentment it's like why did they get to see all of this that's horrible I wasn't even paying for child care getting free child care and I was like why do you get to see all the good bits and I'm stuck at work four days a week because I'd managed to like just go down to four days a week um and that you know that felt very good because it's very different in my mom's day she didn't work until I was at secondary school and then she started working part-time so she was literally there for me for me and my my siblings all the time so I was like she got she got to watch me do all this and now she's watching my daughter do all this you know and my my mother-in-law as well it was very like so mixed emotions and so difficult because you've got so much gratitude that they're doing this for you but at the same time you're like but I really want to which kind of makes it worse though doesn't it because you're kind of you're like I'm supposed to be grateful here but actually this is not the the emotion that I'm currently feeling yeah this is not what I want it's not what I want at all so I found it very challenging so I think that that was always my my motivation was that I wanted to be able to spend more time with my children. I wanted to drop them off, pick them up, go to like, you know, whatever place they have, help out at school if I needed to, like be part of their, you know, their school lives and have, you know, have time for me as well, because I know you go to go to work you come back there's so much that comes with being a mother and a and a wife and and a parent in general like you there's just so much emotional load but then there's just so much physical load that you've got to do as well and I just wanted more balance like I wanted to live not like work live a little bit work live a little bit so that was definitely my motivation I get that because I so I had Clara and everyone was telling me oh you'll be different you'll be different when you when you you know you're gonna go back and I was like yeah yeah I'll go back I'll go back full time and they're like you're going to go back full time after having a baby and I'm like yep yep nothing's going to change and um and then I went around a nursery in um actually Hatton and um they were showing us around and they said oh we put them into little tables so that they're all sat like they're around the fact like a family table because that for some of them that's the only so if they're here five days a week that's the only family meal time that they get is with the other kids pretending to have a family basically and I was like and she was strapped on my front and I was like in one of my little carriers and I was like that that's not happening I remember kissing her on the head and being like there is no way that these children are going to be your pretend family um and that was when I thought you know what yeah I need to do something I need to do

something different and it was just it's so weird because until that was kind of pointed out to me

I was quite adamant that this was the route forwards and then I was like this is absolutely

definitely not going to be the route forward um and so I I set up my business on maternity leave um and and that was kind of how I went about it and I've worked a kind of mixture of different days per week ever since um I am up to four days a week now so I do feel a little bit like oh you know like it's almost like I'm back at job but yeah that Friday I've got like that is my Friday with him and it's like my work hours I send them off in the morning Martin drops them now at school and I pick them up and it's like you know you finish at three and that's the thing is I've not missed sports day you know open book day what what they are but you know you've got where you go in and look at their books once a term and you now multiply that by three um and they put them on different days and you're able to do it and that's the thing is there's no asking somebody and I think that's what I found was that thought that I don't want somebody standing in the way of me I'm like me having to ask can I do this with my child just seems so it felt so wrong yeah that is not going to happen and I remember I had a colleague who I worked with when I was a medical rep and she wasn't she was at conference so we have conferences just before christmas

she was at conference at the same time as her daughter's reception nativity play and they she said can i can i come later can i go back and come back can i do something so that i can go to watch the nativity play and they said no um and so she the school let her see the rehearsal but she wasn't there for her daughter's first nativity play. And I remember thinking, if I was you, she was so upset.
She basically spent the evening in tea, is bless her. And I remember being like, if I was you, I would have quit.
Because it wasn't the fact that I could relate to my child's scenario. It was just that feeling of being restricted.
and I was just like yeah no that's that's not happening no definitely I know somebody listening to this might be thinking well but I don't I don't have an option you know I don't have an option like I really want to be self-employed full-time and you know run my own life I don't have an option and I think you know you're, you're, you're, we've got different mindsets, definitely. I think you make a decision, strike while the iron's hot, and like, go for it.
Whereas I'm like, I'm going to take four years to decide, like, to decide I'm actually going to do this. So you can do it on your own timeline.
I think I was very lucky with my bosses. So the boss at the security

company was really, really flexible. And then I did have another job.
I left there and I got

another job where I met Martin and I worked for them for quite a few years as well. And they were

very flexible. Again, you know, great, great people, great atmosphere.
It's like you don't want, it's, it's always like you don't want to leave, but you really do want to leave. So I was glad I got to a point where I made a decision that no, I need to leave now.
And I left because my business was earning me more than what I was earning working part time. So at that point, I was working, I think I was working three days, or maybe two, two day, two and a half days, or something like that.
So I was thinking, well, this business is earning me more than what I'm earning working for somebody. Imagine if I put all my time into the business, I could probably make up the rest of that salary that I was earning, and more and it is a real leap of faith I wouldn't say to anybody you know to just like pack in the job especially like I was you know very reliant on that monthly income but I did it when it felt safe and when it felt right to me and I did it with my husband husband's, you know, 100% support, which I know not everybody has, like, we have, we have both got very supportive husbands.
So it's, I do think that that makes a big difference to women making decisions. It's sad.
But if the man is the breadwinner, let's say, and they're the one who kind of directs all the finances, and they tell you like, this is the amount of money that you need, which my husband did, you know, initially, and it was true, like, no, we can't do that, then you, you know, you do feel a little bit stuck. But I would always say, keep that conversation going with your partner, like keep telling them how passionate you are about wanting to create like a better lifestyle for all of you and so that you can all between juggling client meetings managing your website keeping up to date with everyday tasks who has time to stress about website security well with kinsta they take care of the technical stuff so you can focus on what you do best, which is probably not website security.
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get started for free today. You could have that more kind of like family unit and family time feels easier and it's easier on your partner as well if they're corporate.
If you're working from home, not saying that you're doing the dishes or running around like putting a washing on all all the time. But there are things that you can do that just makes the house kind of flow more easily as well.
Yeah, no, definitely. I think that's the thing is, is I come across a lot of people who, you know, I think it's a natural progression that if you don't have support for your business, that you end up looking for that support.
And so I work with a a lot a lot of my clients don't have that support necessarily at home you have people who are waiting for you to to to kind of get it out your system and go and get a proper job and all that kind of stuff and and I can imagine that is you know having supported people in that scenario it is a very frustrating place to be it's a very upsetting place to be and it does make you doubt yourself at a time when you do doubt yourself anyway I mean gosh putting yourself in a position of having your own business you really are putting all your personality under a microscope um definitely does make you realize your your pros and cons and your strengths and your weaknesses um and areas development um but it does really you know it it's understanding you know this is what I want and getting clear on that motivation and I think when you're clear on that motivation what I always get people to do what you were saying before Liz about you know when it feels right when it feels safe is you know I always get people when they are in that position where they're setting something up on the side to have that number. So to have a number of amount of money in the account or amount of revenue per month you're bringing in or both, so that you have you're really, really clear when you are going to resign.
And it's like when I get to this number, I will resign because for a lot of people I meet, they're wanting to leave something that they don't enjoy.

But when it comes to the point of actually handing you a notice,

you're like, oh, maybe I could just go another month.

And then it's almost addictive because you know that you could.

And it's like, it never seems like a good time. And it's like, you know, have you resigned?

No, it wasn't a good time this week because this happened. And it's such, it is such a big deal.
And it's such it never seems like a good time and it's like you know have you resigned no it wasn't a good time this week because this happened and it's such it is such a big deal and it's such a safety blanket and I think you know that's the thing is is I use the safety blanket I because I am quite make a decision go for it um but even with that I had my maternity leave and my thought process was if this isn't, if this hasn't got enough potential,

if I've not got enough going on by the time I look to go back.

As it happened, I was pregnant with my second one,

which was the explanation that I gave to work,

whereas I am actually already pregnant again.

And so you don't, it's not really fair.

You don't really want me back.

But, you know, I remember them being like, well, if things change if if you want to come back you know we'll find something within there'll always be something for you um and I remember having that as a bit of a safety blanket and then I remember one day working out my numbers before I went to a networking meeting and I realized that I was now earning more than I was taking home in my old business in in my old corporate job and I thought that would be a moment of feeling really liberated and being like yeah I've done it I've and actually I just felt really weird that my safety blanket was no longer a safety blanket because it was there yeah I would have to take a pay cut do you know what I mean like in order to take the safety route and I remember thinking so that really isn't a viable option anymore and I really felt really yeah like out on a limb I'm quite vulnerable with it it was really really strange feeling that is that's really interesting and like not not the same but. I now feel unemployable.
So I did actually do, because I'm a coach as well, a mindset coach and a business coach. And I did actually go and do a contract, a short-term contract coaching for another company back in 2021.
And that was like, it's just so weird, so so weird so I was back in this kind of I didn't have my second business I didn't have the birth and baby business academy but I had this kind of business the calm birth school which is quite significant in terms of the amount of work that it takes and the people involved and I I decided, because I wanted to try it, I was like, I would really like to coach people outside of my industry to see what it's like, like, is it is it different? What you know, what could I learn? What could I do? But it was trying to fit in to somebody else's timetable and somebody else's goals and vision and priorities really

affected how I ran my business and I ended up the busiest I have ever ever been and I think I lasted

I lasted four months and then I was like I literally I cannot I cannot do this so now my

safety net is completely gone as well because I'm I'm now on this trajectory where it's like I cannot

Thank you. I cannot do this so now my safety net is completely gone as well because I'm I'm now on this trajectory where it's like I cannot go back to employed work not not that I've ever thought that I would but it's just yeah it's not there it's not possible what does that do to you then Sarah does that make you feel like more motivated or does it does it now does it make you feel are you over that completely or oh no I'm now I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I don't think you could stay in that state of like for that long um yeah I remember because it was between it was between Clara and Ethan so it was but yeah and um and I was like it was a really weird feeling because i i always thought that it would be it's a bit like you know when you've you've exchanged on a house and you've completed and you're like i've sold it and it's like you thought you'd be like jumping for joy cracking open the champagne but actually you're just relieved um it was quite anti-climax-y in that way in that I was a bit like, oh.

And then I thought, actually, I feel a bit vulnerable. It makes me feel a bit weird.

And I think, yeah, now I think having that time and of building up confidence,

it's like doing anything.

You then build up the confidence of actually, yeah, okay,

I did it that month and I've done it again and I've gone off and had a baby

and come back and done it again. And so you've got that feeling of, you know what, if I need to get clients, if I want to get clients, if I want to launch something, I can.
And, you know, it tends to, yes, we've all had things that we've tested and haven't gone so well, but it tends to respond the way you expect expect it to um you know there's always you know because obviously you you have got the fact that you work for yourself my husband works for himself as well so you don't have that setup of of corporate scenarios for people being ill and things like that and obviously we've had to navigate that as well um when martin was poorly yeah of course i think i'm always a plan a plan b

plan c kind of person and so you've always got the sort of backup thoughts of well if everything went wrong this is what i do and if everything went or if that went didn't work then this is what i do and i still have thought processes around that but they are no longer tied to ringing up old bosses and and like, yeah, you know, seven years ago. Are you still there? Yeah.
So that wouldn't be my kind of route. But I think, you know, it's always good to have a thought process of this is what I would do.
But I think that kind of safety blanket in my head had kind of gone from under me. And then I was like, now what do I do? I had to create a new plan B and a new plan C.
But I think it's good to have those kind of thought processes and plans in place. I've got clients who they've gone through quite a lot of personal stuff.
And it is very difficult running your own business and navigating parents being ill, partners ill um all that all those kind of scenarios without even looking into your own you know your own health side of stuff so there's always a kind of future proofing and thought process and there's always pros and cons to everything isn't there so you know if you like if you are looking after somebody who's poorly or um you know caring, etc., if you were employed, it would be even more difficult to do that. Although I know it still affects your ability to earn money as a self-employed business.
But yeah, it's working out just what suits you, what makes you feel most comfortable and what suits you best. But that's such a good idea.
I think anyone who's thinking, you know, oh, what would I do if I did like leave my part time job and go full in on the side hustle, then exactly what you said, I think you've got to sit down. I did do this with my husband.
Initially, we sat down and we were like, right, so if in one month, you don't earn X amount, like the amount that I needed to contribute, here's what we'll do. So we've got money from here.
We've got money from there. And so maybe we could cover like maybe, you know, a couple of months, three months, maybe.
But after that, that's it. Like literally, that's it.
That is your buffer. And I remember feeling like,

but that was good motivation as well. That was like, well, I can't drop any balls here.
I've got

to keep going and keep finding new ways of getting clients and getting the word out there. And I did

find that quite motivating and in a positive way for me. I know sometimes some people might find

that really anxiety inducing, but for me, it was just more like driving me forward. And I just took

Thank you. and in a positive way for me.
I know sometimes some people might find that really anxiety inducing. But for me, it was just more like driving me forward.
And I just took it seriously, took my business seriously. And I know a lot of women, when they start out in business, there's that level of embarrassment when somebody says like, Oh, how's, how's things going? How's your business? Oh, yeah.
Oh, it's fine. Oh, it's just a hobby, really.
Or you know, if someone says like oh how's your going how's your business oh yeah oh it's fine oh it's just a hobby really or you know if someone says like oh how's your little business and really yeah you've got to put your boundary in straight away and say my business is it's going well thank you yeah I'm really loving it I'm enjoying it um do you want to hear about what I do? Every day is a networking opportunity as far as I'm concerned. I think that's the thing there, isn't it? It's very easy to make assumptions, particularly with women in business, that, you know, it's just a little bit of a hobby for them, really.
You know, like it doesn't really matter. They don't really have to bring in the money.
And, you know, that's a massive assumption over the setup in their household and everything else. And I think the thing is, is it's, you know, it's understanding, as you say, your buffers and, you know, what the plan is if something doesn't work out.

Having those conversations is really, really key so that you know the plan.

You know, I speak to people who are regularly like, oh, if this doesn't work, then I'm going to have to go and get a job.

And it's like you can get to the point where you've already mentally given up.

And I'll see you next time. the plan um you know I speak to people who are regularly like oh if this doesn't work then I'm gonna have to go and get a job and it's like you can get to the point where you've already mentally given up and I think that's the thing is is you're really fortunate that that kind of pressure drives you whereas some people that pressure just makes them freeze and they this is where this whole understanding of your own mentality and mindset comes in again because it's actually like oh when this happens I thought I'd be like this but actually I'm more like this um and so you know if anxiety takes over then you end up doing nothing you'll go into kind of the freeze mode of of doing nothing about it and then you're just kind of waiting for it to happen to you whereas it's that feeling of you know what backs up against the wall I've got to do this I've got to put this effort in and that's the kind of spirit you want but even with somebody even when you feel yourself that's how I'll be it's very interesting actually what happens when that scenario hits and how you respond to it and that self-reflection can really help you to kind of move forwards and understand yourself better um for next time and kind of work to your strengths yeah because it doesn't it doesn't go away like the you always need to be able to earn money and as you get more comfortable like as you earn more money and you adapt to that lifestyle, you need more money.
So you need the bar just keeps getting higher and higher. And you know, even now, like sometimes, I'll be like, oh, my numbers are a bit low for, you know, whatever course I've got in the future.
And I'll get a bit of a, hmm, right, we've got to do something about that. And it's again, it's a drive.
And it's a motivation. It's like, like what can I do what did have I have I followed up on all the inquiries that I had have I checked in with those people have I you know what about a masterclass should I do that should I what about my socials are they up to date relevant newsletters things like that you know making sure that that people are actually hearing about what I'm doing that I'm getting the word out there and that I'm actually giving myself the opportunity to sell to people as well.
So it doesn't go away, but you get better at it. And it continues to drive me anyway, thankfully.
Excellent. So Liz, in kind of conclusion, where can people find out more about you? So if anybody's interested in training to teach hypnobirthing they can find me over at the calm birth school on instagram or you can take a look at the website which is the calm birth school.com if anyone is a birth or baby business owner so that could be anyone like could be somebody who's a baby sleep consultant it could be at IBCLC, hypnobirthing instructor, breastfeeding supporter, any area, maybe like a children's activity business or anything like that.
You can find me over on Baba Business, which is B-A-B-B-A, business on Instagram. And actually anyone who's even thinking about what would it be like to get into the birth or baby world to like, you know, do some training and set up a business within that world, then Baba would probably be a good place for you to start as well.
Excellent. Well, thank you so much Liz for your time.
It has been lovely to speak to you. Next week, guys, I will be doing a solo episode.
I'm talking more about business growth and those realities of day in, day out, what to do to get your business moving in the right direction.