The Reality of Starting A Business

Hello and welcome to this week's version of the You Can Podcast. I'm here today with Amy Murray and we're going to be talking around the realities of starting a business.
Amy, thank you very, very much for joining me. Would you like to introduce yourself, tell us a little bit about you and your business? For sure, Sarah, thanks so much for having me.
This is very exciting to be part of your podcast. So I have been, I'll say, trying to have my own business since 2019.
And the idea was, first of all, just to have an online shop. And that's where it started.
Then I ended up training to be a wellbeing coach. So I thought, OK, I I'm going to do coaching and I'll also have an online shop that has books I've written and stuff I've created that will complement my coaching for the well-being um audience and then as years have gone on um I'm kind of laughing to myself because it is it is taken on many twists and turns.
It's now become something that sort of went full circle, if you like. So the idea is still to be offering coaching, but from a much more creative perspective.
But it will be all geared to enhancing well-being. OK, so so this journey started how long ago? How long ago?? What happened was I started training to be a wellbeing coach in 2019.
And I qualified, like it was all done and dusted at the end of that year. I officially sort of graduated from that in February 2020.
And then obviously our favourite time in our lives hit. And the whole process of, you know,to-face clients or building or building a business in that way when you're new and you're just starting out and coaching that wasn't possible and um I was in a nine-to-five day job as well at the time and I still am now so everything I've done has just been like side hustle with big hopes for the future but every time it's looked like maybe I can move into this and put more hours into it there's always been some sort of life event that has been like this is not a good time to move into this right now so yeah it's been a bit of a stop and start stop and start um which is not what you see you know you see things on social media where it's looking like everyone's just doing this overnight yeah and and you internalize that as i must be the world's biggest failure because this is not as easy as everyone's making out it should be so yeah that's been an ongoing struggle yeah but overnight successes are my like major pet hate because i i know i know people who have been overnight successes and they haven't they haven't.
A lot of them, they've either had a business, stopped that business and restarted a new one. I've had a friend who had a limited company and so they went from being sole trader to limited company.
And so what happened was then in articles, yeah, it's like it's an overnight success. They just set up, they just became became limited and which isn't untrue but they became limited like a few months ago and already they're turning over the first million and it's like yeah but they became limited because they were reaching a point at which they knew that they needed to and yes it took off but they already had momentum they had like four or five years of momentum beforehand and I think that's the really sad thing around this is lots of people are fed these stories and you know the stories that sell and this is the thing is where does the logic go because we all know that the press tell us stuff and sensationalize things and yet we read articles where because it's closer to home we we adopt this as like a truth so that we can feel bad about ourselves and so and we can like beat ourselves up that we should be in a better place yeah and it's like in reality you know I've met people up to like 10 years they've been working on or having an idea that they haven't overly actioned and I think that's the thing is is you know obviously you know, obviously, you know, you've just, Amy's just been through my program.
So six weeks startup programs for over six weeks, you do the different trainings, you have drop in sessions. And within that, you know, it's going from concept all the way through to first paying client, that's the principle of it.
And that's the journey it takes you on. And so, you know, some people, it can can take two weeks which is my personal that's my pb so far and then other people it can take it can take longer and I think you know there's been a lot of people recently that I've worked with on different programs who have had that same realization that you know so just a bit of sort of context Amy you started off so you came to the beginning of the program and you were like I have this audience so tell us a little bit about the audience you had.
So I've got three audiences but the one I thought I was going to be focusing on is a well-being community for men and it's specifically to support men in their the way they express their emotions in in ways that are healthy for them so rather than going nuts at the gym or it comes out aggressively or it doesn't come out at all and get squashed down that's generally the sort of three areas that emotions will be channeled with men who haven't um looked at this kind of work before and then the idea is that we honor the whole spectrum of emotions. It's not that some are good and some are bad.
Like anger can actually be very healthy and it's very appropriate in certain circumstances. So it's honoring the whole range, but looking at healthy ways to sort of work through it, express it, and then also being able to identify how you're feeling and knowing what your trigger points are like a whole there's a whole sort of plethora of of um work that can be done in these areas so I came to you all sparkly and shiny thinking this is great I've got my men's group ready to go I've got like over 13 000 followers in this community this is this is all going to very straightforward for me um and prior to working with you I had previously done work on who's your ideal client and I'd looked at that from probably several other people's perspectives over like different you know how you pick up an online course or you do like a program with someone so this wasn't unfamiliar terrain to me but the way we did it with you like really

made me look at it quite differently and then from that very first task I I just had this

realization of like okay this there's a lot of areas here that I've never considered before

so that was just even from session one and at that point and so and so what hadn't you

considered before what hadn't you gone over before I think um like I had an understanding of

Thank you. and at that point and so and so what hadn't you considered before what hadn't you gone over before I think um like I had an understanding of you know what the purpose what the mission is what the purpose is here um I hadn't really thought in as much detail as I needed to about like it what you're I understood the concept of messaging but what I hadn't really thought about was my messaging is going to need to sort of lead up to an offer like you can't just be throwing out an offer and what I was doing was the reverse where no one even knew I was a coach in that group I was just putting out loads of sort of like value content to help them in their daily lives and not at any point saying hey by the way you can hire me and work with me and I can actually help you in more detail so they had no idea I'm a trained coach um and I've had that group for like two years so I'm laughing it wasn't it wasn't funny to have this realization of okay the messaging needs to build up to whatever I'm going to offer and um there were off the top of my head I can't like I know there were lots of things in that first task that just really made me think carefully about hang on a minute let's just pause and the work the the worst and best part of that first task was I thought I knew who my competitors were and it wasn't until and who I thought they were was not actually correct and I had always pitched things out in this sort of big picture like massive well-being brands that everyone knows they're global and I had kind of been thinking oh well do that, which is obviously not me starting out on my own, getting my first few clients.
So that had been my misconception around what my competitors sort of were doing. Then when I did the task, I realised that actually there are loads of people in this space that I didn't know existed because I thought I was doing something quite unique yeah although what I was bringing to it is is unique there's a lot of crossover with other people and then I also found in doing that task that I felt I had I kind of had this moment of despair where I thought oh no if everyone else is already doing stuff like this well I I need to find something completely original that no one else is doing anywhere and that was we did a lot of work with that over the six sessions because that was also a misconception and you explained to me that actually um lots of people are going to be in the same space in any industry and the right people are going to come to you the people who want to learn that from you those are your people we're not here for the entire world and it's okay that you're doing something the same as someone else because you'll do it differently in your unique way that's where the unique part comes not the actual topic you're addressing it's the it's the delivery and I think that's the thing is I've met so many people who are like I've got this thing and nobody else is doing it and I'm always it always makes me actually a little bit nervous because I'm like well if no one else is doing it why aren't they doing it and it it's like it's it's either it's either the fact that you know you really have struck gold and you've really got an understanding of something that no one else has even seen it that way or the the higher potential is is that it's not something that people are actually that interested in and so actually having competition is a really good vote of confidence you only have to look at florists and hairdressers to be like you know what you don't have to have you know yeah it's like oh there's already a hairdresser so everyone can just go there and it's like well actually that person doesn't have the capacity and and also you know hairdressers are a good example because if you think about it like even within the same salon you'll have people who you like to cut your hair versus people you don't like

to cut your hair because it's hair it's a pair of scissors wielded by a person and your hair and yet they can cut it so differently even when you're asking for the same style and so example yeah that's what you want to be thinking around when you're doing your deliveries it's actually it's a vote of confidence there's also more complexities when it comes to delivering something for the first time because it's what I call a double sell because you're not only having to sell that concept of that offer but you're also having to then sell you as a delivery person and most people get lazy and when they are first to market they just sell the offer and well the solution they don't sell you delivering that solution a competitor comes in you've already switched on an entire audience of people who are like yeah this is definitely what I need and then they come in and go well I can do it too and that's it there's no differentiation been stated yeah so you know there isn't that there are pros and cons to each but it's definitely not something you have to find you don't have to be delivering something totally unique um your slant on it your way of delivery will be sufficient to to repel and attract people and so you know that's always a key one to kind of think around and then you know i get people within that program to do beta testers and I'm a massive fan of beta testing in general and that wasn't something you'd done before no I suffer from the whole perfectionism let's get all our ducks in a row with every tiny intricate detail and then we'll tell people here there's a thing that you could buy and and that is not the way to go because in the first few rounds of trying to get beta testers it was like very very apparent that what I was trying to achieve was not actually the right fit definitely at this time it might never be it might be something I attempt later with more confidence but right now um that is not where my focus needs to be but I never would have known that if I hadn't the challenges attracting beta testing created I never would have anticipated so I had in my head an idea of why someone might object or you know things I might come up against um where I'd have to know what my responses were going to to that. And I sort of mentally prepped for that.
But those were the challenges that came up. And I was confronted with things I just never would have predicted would have been an issue.
And then that really threw me off. And it definitely not my confidence as well.
Yeah, because it was really getting them to even show up to have a conversation wasn't it I mean it was just it what what I the two challenges I came up against most were you know people on posts that are relating to people where they were like yes that's me and I'd you know I'd put in my messaging as you'd advise you know drop a comment if this relates to you and you know I have a chat about it so obviously it was worded better than

that yeah so um the post itself was great it got a lot a good positive response with people saying yeah that's me that's me dm me whatever then in taking that conversation to the dms I was met with with, like, knowing that these are my ideal clients, or appear to be, I know I can help them in what they're struggling with. And they've listed out to me all the things they're struggling with, which is the exact match.
and then in trying to make this offer being met with well who are you and are you qualified to

do this and what and and I just didn't anticipate like I know I've got a wealth of qualifications experience behind me but I didn't anticipate with that particular audience that um and this is not in any way being disrespectful to a male audience it's just they think differently to women in a lot of ways around this and whereas with a woman and when I've coached women with women they'll you know you just make the appointment they show up and we get going but with this situation they said they wanted help I had the stuff to help them but then there was it all came into question about well are you are you qualified to deal with me, basically? And it became a huge confusion between basically them misinterpreting coaching and confusing that with counselling or therapy, which are absolutely not the same. And as a good coach, I would always refer someone to therapy or counselling if anything came up where up where I could see oh this needs more this needs more work here here's who are where I advise you go to get that support and I would never and no no self-respecting coach would try and take that on so you know where the boundary is but they didn't know that because these people didn't even know I was a coach from all the comments comps they'd had from me for two years, I'd not made it very clear what I can actually do to help them.
So that's on me. And I was very grateful for you, like, just calling it out as it was and having that reality check with me in a very lovely way.
But you did give me a reality check on, okay, well, you've had this audience for a a long time but if you're not actually really telling them everything that you're here to serve them with they're not they're not psychic they're not gonna know that which is fair enough um and then then I was kind of faced with after a few of knocks like that I just I started really questioning do I do I really want to be spending my day like let's say this is my day job do I really want to be spending my days banging my head against the wall like just even trying to have an initial conversation with someone to explain what they do and be met with this sort of um I think yeah you came I think you came onto one of the calls and you were like I I'm just having to justify myself and explain Yeah, like my own existence. Yeah.
And I think, you came I think when you came on to one of the calls and you were like I I'm just having to justify myself and explain like my own existence yeah and I think you know you have a thing where we you know there's absolutely things that you can put in place to to educate them more and but then when we got talking and and I was I don't even know how we got onto it but I was sharing how excited I get on calls I think it's because you were like oh yeah because then I've got to do these calls with them and I was like but that's exciting because it's like it is like your opportunity to find out what your next toy is and and you know for me I'm like you know it's that opportunity to sort of like exercise my my understanding and make an impact for somebody that you know meet new challenges and new experiences that I haven't had before within that market or whatever and so when somebody has a call with me I'm really excited because I'm like yeah you know this and and it was really weird because on the call you were like yeah no that's not how I feel experiencing this level of joy that you're describing and I know there have been other things I've done in the past where I I know what that joy does feel like when it's connecting so that was so valuable for me for you to like just share what this is like daily for you and that's not to say that you don't have challenges but that feel that is how we should be feeling about our our passion work where we're doing what's in alignment with us so that was another indicate to me of like something's not right here and I need I need to just take a step back re-evaluate what I'm doing and just give this a bit of breathing space and think because I the fight that it felt like a fight to just even be heard or or get an initial call which then then you're already worn out before you start doing the actual work and what you're going to be doing and that just and that's the thing is is the reality like I've spoken to people who are like I want to set my own business and I'm like I know how how much to enjoy sales sales and marketing and they're like not really it's like well that is your reality for the first quarter 12 18 months and and that's the thing is is you tend to people tend to set up a business to do the implementation and actually the implementation is a really small part of your job for the first sort of 12 18 months because you haven't got the client base and until you get the clients in you're not able to do that work in your area in your zone of genius and so you're spending a lot of time outside of that comfort zone outside of that zone of genius doing stuff that you don't necessarily want to be doing and that's the thing is it's hard it's hard enough as it is but then if you add in actually this is this is difficult it feels like trudging through treacle it really did feel like that yeah yeah and so i was like you know what just go away and just think about what would light you up and between juggling client meetings managing your website keeping up to date with everyday tasks who has time to stress about website security well with kinsta they take care of the technical stuff so you can focus on what you do best which is probably not website security so what is Kinsta well Kinsta provides managed hosting for WordPress so offering lightning fast loading times top tier security and unmatched human only customer support whether you're a business owner web developer or you're running digital agency, Kinsta makes managing your website easy and efficient so you can spend more time on what matters most. Kinsta gives you complete peace of mind by ensuring that your WordPress sites are always online, secure, and performing at their best.
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So I'm basically going to redo all of our sessions and homework on the new focus. Yeah.
And I think that's the thing is you're very good at building an audience. But just because you have an audience doesn't mean you have to serve that audience yeah and you know I have I have clients who would kill for just one of your audiences let alone like you know all three um and so you know but it is that you're able to create that noise but you've probably you know you're not the only person that I've worked with but when they've tried to monetize their audience they've ended up with actually realizing their audience aren't actually there's not that many people in that audience that are the right people for them because you didn't intentionally build that audience with a offer in mind so you were never priming them and I think that's the key thing here is when you're building an audience it's absolutely okay and it's absolutely feasible to to monetize an audience um and but one of the sort of key things is getting there early with what am I actually going to be selling these people what is the end point what am I driving them towards because otherwise you're just giving out value it's a place that they hang out and then it's like oh wait a minute she's trying to sell in here um whereas actually you kind of need your stall set up from the beginning I couldn't agree more and ironically you know I've got 15 years of marketing background experience in terms of my day job work so the marketing and messaging you know people have paid me as a freelancer to do their marketing and messaging which is something I get a lot of enjoyment out of and I know what I'm doing I can confidently say yeah I can definitely grow your brand grow your audience however that was completely different experience when I'm marketing me yeah so it you can have all the tools in the world but that I don't psychologically the shift of selling yourself as as the subject for the marketing felt very different and really uncomfortable and brought up a lot of probably squashed down stuff from my past we've had confidence knocked or things have challenged you in the past that you maybe thought were dealt with and perhaps still a lingering so a lot came out in this six weeks I do I do think that and it does it does I think whenever you are setting up a business because you know you want to obviously you're always wanting to detach yourself from your self-worth from the the value people are willing the amount of money people are willing to pay for the service because what the service you're offering is a small percentage of of you um you know they're not buying you as a person you are not for sale um but it's very easy to take those knockbacks personally and i think that in a you know in a corporate environment where you are part of a team you know the worst you're going to get is kind of feedback on the team um from an external point of view you're very very unlikely unless you've had some sort of customer facing conversation that's gone badly um to be ever singled out and having that feedback in that same way and so but when you run your own business you are everything you are that entire team and so it opens up you're so much more vulnerable and it really does magnify all those weaknesses all those things I have never worked so hard on my mindset as I have in the last seven years since I started running a business because your mindset it had less of an impact because you're watered down your the might your individual mindset is unlikely even as the ceo to impact the direction of the entire organization because you're you're watered down it's like wines and it's like you know when you get you get wines from a particular area and you're like oh they're the cheaper ones because they're a mix and then because they're a mix they're always kind of the same sort of flavor whereas when you start with a particular vineyard with a particular grape you start with the year on year variations because it is so concentrated and that's the nature of running your own business you are that concentrated vine um and you know when it's you are that single thing that is focused on there is no watering down there is no ending up being roughly the same because in an organization you've got people having good days people having bad days people who are really driven people who are really not and so it it kind of all levels itself out whereas it doesn't when you're running your own business and that's the thing and like online reviews of your business obviously I directly you there's no one else responsible for that review except you whereas you know in a corporate there's thousands of people in there we don't know who didn't give Jane the right customer service it is one of a massive you know the blame is it's dissipated isn't it whereas it it is that that outcome is is is your outcome and and that's it which is a real plus point but it is it is quite a scary vulnerable place to be as a newbie setting out your table it is daunting to there's a lot so much fear and even though like mentally I've had this business for however many years but it it did feel very raw and exposed like oh my goodness this is it now I'm I'm really putting myself out there and it wasn't it wasn't that a pleasant experience I'm all right I'm all right you're making you uncomfortable I needed that I needed that to realize this feels completely out of whack and actually this is not the audience I want to be putting my like energy into at this point in time yeah and I think that that's the thing is in so many people don't do that next step because they're frightened of what they're going to find out but the thing is is Amy is proof that it's not a case of crawling back under your stone and that's it I'm just going to resign my life to corporate no it's actually you know she's like I've got the tools I've got the understanding I've got the process now and it's like yeah you can actually rinse and repeat and it's like is it um Richard Branson was like Virgin was his 10th startup why it was that many wow yeah and and that's the thing is is but but no one mentions that I mean like you know you probably had relatives at the time going oh well here we go again um but everyone's forgotten it now he owns an island and like you know an airline and everything else even big people like that that we we see as the huge success one of my favorite films is the pixar story have you ever seen it it's a documentary about steve jobs and the head creative at pixar who who came by creative

and then their tech guy he was called ed cattle or something like that anyway that documentary

shows you know they all started out in the garage and then the journey they take and how many times

they nearly lost everything and they're applying money into his falling apart all things hemorrhaging

financially and then

they just pulled it together in the final moment and that I do I do find that kind of success story very inspiring but then you forget when you're in it that yeah you're you can have you know 20 failures here before you find the thing that it's all learning and that's the thing is is yeah it's not giving up and then there's knowing when to stop um and and all those things in between that what you've just said knowing when to stop because we have this mindset of you must never give up but there are situations where that is actually the right choice and it rather than thinking of as sort of well I'm and washing my hands of this it's that you you have fully explored everything here this is not the right thing but that doesn't mean there isn't something else that will fit better just around the corner and you just have to sort of navigate through that and you always whenever you learn from the perceived failure is such awesome groundwork for you like anything that has inverted commas failed for me in the past what I learned in those situations it's like I needed to learn those like the little bits of my toolbox and then I've applied that learning in new situations just been like I'm so pleased I had that behind me as an experience because it's now giving me the like the tools I need to deal with it when it comes up again I think it's it Will Smith who was like fail fail forward fail fast and it's like that's the thing is that yeah I have had that quite yeah that's yeah yeah it is really you know that's it's it's all learning I think I'm always like the only time it's a failure is if you do the same thing twice um because it's like you know you're given that learning yeah um and then you chose to just repeat and i think that's the thing is is you know it's taking that information and then building on it going forwards um and that's really really key so what's it so what's next for amy what are we what are you what's the plan now i've gone full circle with my where they started out as a online shop and and selling things i've created but i'm using all my coaching my well-being coaching and experience with that and what i want to do now is the easiest way to explain this is to create should we call them creations we could call it healing artwork I want to create pieces of art that will align with people when they're on a healing journey so um for example if someone has a problem with their liver and they are under medical assistance with whatever illness they have with their liver and the artwork that I would create or will create let's be let's get the right language here I'm creating I'm going to be creating for them will be um tapping into everything I know about well-being including the use of um color energy and color um I'll also be incorporating like sound healing in this in in the way that I create the art and then the art will be like a visual tool to help them with the dialogue that we are able to have but

don't necessarily realize we can have with our own body so it's going to have it's going to be

like multifaceted but I'm really wanting to focus on helping people understand how you can talk to

your body when you're on a healing journey and not that it is in replacement of getting medical help

or other holistic therapies you might be doing these can all coexist but that conversation with

you'll be able these can all coexist but that conversation with your body is a piece that's often missing yeah and is so so powerful um if if you are open yeah start the dialogue of your body so that's that's where I'm headed now yeah I thought of you the other day because I was listening to it as what I was reading a um an article about a boy who had a heart transplant and um and he said that he'd um he he sends it love every every morning yeah so it settles in yes and that that's exactly it yeah I love that um and it's so important and it's even when you're taking medications like you can you can talk to your body about that and just tell your body this is this is here to help us and all these all these little things all add up this will become a book I know where I'm taking this but how I feel talking about it I can feel inside my like it makes my it makes me smile I feel like I'm lit up from the inside out and the energy of that versus this banging head against a brick wall and it's just nothing's coming together like it's complete it's like I'm a different person talking about these two different audiences so that's how I know this is the right thing right now um yeah and it can be woven into the men's well-being audience over time so that's it's not being abandoned it's just on pause for just now well the thing is you cannot evolve that now you know that's what you're building towards and this is the thing when people get upset about email lists and everything else is people who leave and people who join they're leaving and joining because they're attracted to or repelled from what you were doing um and that's the thing is is over time talking around that creating that sharing that you can get the people the people who are switched on are gonna stay and enjoy it and the people who aren't enjoying it and think oh this is a bit much for me I'm not into it are going to leave and so that way you're getting that concentration and I think that's the thing is that's the same with email list people always feel yeah I regularly speak to people who are like they feel funny over I've lost this many people from my email list and it's like but actually that's that's okay That's a good thing because they've given it a sample.

They haven't enjoyed it. They're leaving.

They're affecting your open rates if they no longer engage.

You are better off having that engagement and those people responding. You know, the email providers and everything else prefer it when people are responding and they're interacting with your emails.
So, you know, it does you a a favor and also it gets to a point where you're actually having to pay for for individuals to be on a list etc you don't want to be paying for somebody who isn't interested um so you know always be nurturing it's a bit like your garden and it's like you know what's a weed what's not a weed well it's a weed if you don't want it there and so you know if that person doesn't want to be there they're better off going um and being plucked out of that environment than than staying in so you know it is now you can nudge them within that direction and so you're going to get people who are increasingly switched on with what you're doing and also taking them on that journey as well so i'm really really excited for you amy well done thank you for facilitating the realization that this is this is where I need to put my energy right now because if I honestly say if I hadn't been on the six-week program with you I would still be slogging along thinking at some point this will all come good if I just keep keep plodding along it plodding along how I was was never going to get me where I needed to be so I'm like so grateful to have had this time in the course um and learned way more than so there's like the materials and the base of your program was like incredible but I got way more beyond the six weeks of material and coaching with you like the what it did for me and how I evolved in that time was like way more than I could have ever hoped for. So, you know, I'm really grateful to have had your help.
Thank you. It was lovely to have you and to be part of that journey.
It really was. We had such a nice group as well.
We had a lovely group. We did, a lovely group.
That's the thing the thing guys is it's feeling like you're not alone being having that support having that accountability um it's about taking the action and that's the thing is is for those of you which have got stuck in that rut of learning all the things um there's only so much learning can help you it's about getting out there and taking that action even if it's not perfect it's about taking that action and getting that feedback because without it there's only so far that journey can go um so don't get stuck in the getting ready but thank you very much amy for sharing that with us oh thank you for having me because it it there is that expectation that it should be easy it's not it's a good journey um and there's lots of twists and turns with it but it's finding that alignment and it's finding what's right for you um and that's what's really key so thank you to help you that was that was key that really was i'm not just saying that because it's your podcast like that i genuinely mean that it having your help and support with it is what made a massive difference to me because it wasn't just me on my own struggling along and you know getting very disheartened and I knew I had that I had those like anchor checkpoints so I could come back and um had a routine of when I'd get my next sort of um booster shot if you like off yeah that's it yeah it's tough on your own it's really tough on your own um and the thing is is that that program um there'll be information on it in the show notes guys um but that program is designed to make it as accessible as possible um amy was one of those people that i was like please sign up for this because don't get in my way by by not signing up because i know i can help you um and so yeah yeah and so you know don't don't muscle along you do get access to check-ins with me as well um during um during that program so you know it is well worth just taking that that step um if you are wanting to get get things off the ground and move things forward so thank you so much for joining us, Amy. All the best in the future.
And thank you so much for sharing your journey. So that's it from this week's episode, guys.
I hope you have enjoyed it. If you have, then please do rate us and subscribe.
That every little helps. In the meantime, guys, I hope you have a great rest of your week.
I will be here same time again next week on a solo episode, sharing more tips and insights into running your own business. I hope you have a great rest of your week.
I will be here same time again next week on a solo episode

sharing more tips and insights into running your own business. I hope you have a great

rest of your week and I will see you again next week. Bye for now.