Dr. Caroline Leaf: The Fastest Way to Banish Stress and Unleash Mental Wellness | Mental Health | E362

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Speaker 2 Your brain and body are 1% of who you are. Your mind is 99%.

Speaker 2 If we get consumed by our sensations, which are actually only around 1% of who we are, we will get trapped in those sensations and our anger or frustration or regret or whatever it is will get worse.

Speaker 1 Dr. Caroline Lee is a cognitive neuroscientist, best-selling author, and the creator of the transformative neurocycle method.
She spent over four decades studying the mind-brain connection.

Speaker 2 Everyone regrets. So the thing to break it is never ghost yourself.
Honor that regret. That's how you break the cycle.

Speaker 1 Are you worried about AI kind of taking over and do you think that it could ever reach human level consciousness?

Speaker 2 I'm not worried about AI. at all because I know as a neuroscientist the power of the mind.
I know the mind is fundamental. Mind is abstract reasoning, intuition.

Speaker 2 AI could never get to that level because AI.

Speaker 1 What is the difference between overthinking and deep thinking, and how can we pivot between the two?

Speaker 2 Overthinking goes nowhere except in this loop that creates a lot of toxic stress inside of you. It makes you feel worse and worse and worse.
Versus deep thinking, finds a solution.

Speaker 2 The deep thinking, overthinking, one of the quickest ways to break that.

Speaker 1 What's up, Gap Gang? I'm so excited about this episode because we're welcoming back a true legend in the world of mental wellness, Dr. Caroline Leaf, for the second time on the show.
Dr.

Speaker 1 Leaf is a cognitive neuroscientist, best-selling author, and the creator of the transformative neurocycle method.

Speaker 1 She spent over four decades studying the mind-brain connection, connection, and her work has transformed how millions of people manage anxiety, stress, and toxic thinking.

Speaker 1 This time, Caroline is back with a powerful new book, Help in a Hurry. It's a practical guide filled with strategies to calm your mind in moments of stress, overwhelm, and lots of other emotions.

Speaker 1 In this episode, we'll dive deep into mind management and uncover the dangers of over-labeling emotional struggles.

Speaker 1 We'll explore how to rewire your brain for clarity and calm, even in life's most chaotic moments, and discuss how humans can thrive alongside AI.

Speaker 1 Get ready to unlock powerful tools for mental wellness and long-term success. Dr.
Caroline, welcome to Young and Profiting Podcast.

Speaker 2 So good to see you again. Thank you, Harla.
It's been a long time, four years.

Speaker 1 I know last time you came on was in 2021. It was May 2021.

Speaker 1 So right at the start of COVID, I think I interviewed you in my mom's basement or something because I happened to be home at that time because like everybody was working from home and everything like that.

Speaker 1 So, it's so cool to have you back on the show. And things have changed so much since you last came on for both of us.

Speaker 1 So, when we first talked, we were really focused on cleaning up your mental mess, which was your latest book back then. And we focused the conversation on that.

Speaker 1 I'll probably replay that episode on the podcast so everybody will get a deep dive into the content of that book. But today, I want to talk about your new book, and that is Help in a Hurry.

Speaker 1 And that one's way more about practical tools that you can use in your everyday life which I really love we love actionable advice on the podcast and so I want to dive right into it my first question to you is when we're feeling stressed when we're feeling anxious what is a quick hit in terms of something that we can do to feel better In 63 seconds, you can catch that moment and create a pause.

Speaker 2 And 60, 63 seconds is very significant because there's a lot of science behind it.

Speaker 2 But it's the amount of time, you can take longer, but in that small moment of time you can redirect neuroplasticity in your brain in other words what that means in simple language is that you can catch that moment of anger or whatever stress toxic stress you're under whatever it's coming from and you can actually redirect it so you're not ignoring it you're not suppressing it you're not pushing it away you're not diminishing it you're not ghosting yourself or what's happening but you are facing it head on and dealing and you work through it in like a little formula and that then helps you to regain perspective and it actually directs the energy which is nothing woo-woo it's the experience it literally becomes energy that's processed through your mind and you can actually redirect that how that goes into your brain and into your body and therefore the output so you're still going to have the same experience but it can either go in as a chaotic mess or it can come out or it can go in with a bit more order so let's say for example that someone has just yelled at you or you're in a business meeting and someone has said something that's really made you feel quite frustrated and you're i shouldn't say natural but your reaction is oh my gosh they've done this before and you just maybe snap back or you get that tone or that look or and it just creates more bad feelings in the room or whatever just as an example so that doesn't help anyone because the minute that you create that kind of chaotic environment it's going to take away from a lot of intuitive wisdom in that moment and so logic reasoning all those things drop cognitive flexibility so you know it's not going to lead to a good outcome in either whoever's involved at that moment between the maybe two people plus everyone else so what you do is in that short time frame is not to ignore but to first of all just calm down your psychoneurobiology that's your mind brain body connection and that's through the traditional ideas of breathing or visualization but i don't want us to just look at breathing as breathing breathing is oxygen yes but oxygen is a molecule and energy attaches to that molecule so in a moment of high stress high anger whatever we breathe differently.

Speaker 2 We breathe short little breaths and we don't take deep breaths in. That signals the body that I'm in flight and fright or I'm angry or I've got to protect.
Now the brain and the body don't think.

Speaker 2 They are just simply machines that are run by the mind. They are very complex, very beautiful, but they don't think.
So they're just going to follow the energy input.

Speaker 2 So here, what we're talking about in these 63 seconds is to redesign the tone of the energy that goes in.

Speaker 2 So by doing some breathing and as you breathe to be aware that, okay, I'm shallow breathing, I'm going to take a deep breath in.

Speaker 2 And when you stimulate it, a very good breathing exercise that calms you down quickly, gets lots of oxygen to the front of your brain and blood flow and calms down the brain waves and the immune system and all that stuff is sip breathing.

Speaker 2 So do a very quick deep breath in.

Speaker 2 And when you can't take any more, take another sip.

Speaker 2 And it's almost hard. Your whole body tenses.
You might even shake your head because you feel like a whoosh of oxygen to your brain. And you can do that one or two times.

Speaker 2 And what that does is it signals that massive burst of oxygen. It pushes it into the brain, blood flow, whatever.

Speaker 2 And it actually changes the messaging that goes through your physiology to say, it's okay, I've got this. Yes, it's irritated, but we've got this.

Speaker 2 If we don't get our physiology under control, what happens is that our physiology, our brain and body, the reactions we feel in the anger, the body tensing, the heart palpitations, all whatever, those become very consuming.

Speaker 2 And your brain and body are 1% of who you are. Your mind is 99%.
And I know that's one of the questions you want to ask me. We'll dive into it more, but just hold on to this thought.

Speaker 2 If we get consumed by our sensations, which are actually only around 1% of who we are, we will get trapped in those sensations and our anger or frustration or regret or whatever it is will get worse.

Speaker 2 So then the breathing and all those kinds of things are not going to help as much as they could. So the issue is that we want to get ourselves out of making the 1%, 100%.

Speaker 2 And that's what the breathing will do, that initial physiology change, that psychoneurobiological change. So you can do that in 10 seconds.

Speaker 2 You can also, another one that works well is you can breathe in for three and out for seven, but it's a deep breath in and then

Speaker 2 for seven. And as you breathe in, say think, feel in your mind.
And then as you breathe out, say, choose. So you add.
the cognitive component onto the breathing.

Speaker 2 Now, both of those little breathing exercises shifts how the energy molecule that is the message that's coming at you the anger etc the argument whatever it shifts how it is attached to the oxygen and it takes it into the body differently so instead of it being like a hurricane it becomes like a controlled storm if that makes sense there's a lot of science there but in 10 20 seconds you're doing amazing stuff and it's being intentionally aware i'm aware i'm worked up i'm going to do this breathing i'm going to go from shallow breathing and i'm going to do this sip breathing or whatever then you shift from there into validation of what it's made you feel of the situation so it's it's kind of label it out loud, name it.

Speaker 2 And in your head, you just can do it in your head where you say it to yourself. They are making me mad because they said this and it's really unfair or whatever.
Label it. So don't ghost yourself.

Speaker 2 We often think I'll push it down or whatever. That just makes you explode more.
So it's label. Then the next thing is to then focus on, okay, this is bringing up a lot of stuff.

Speaker 2 So the third level down is it's that labeling. You feel more in control, your physiology is under control.
So a lot of other memories will come up. And those memories are very useful.

Speaker 2 We're about 30 seconds in now to the little exercise those memories are useful because it's not going to be a lot because it's limited time here but those few that do come up will give you context and then you immediately shift to the next level which is the mind shift where you say okay this is all coming up this person's done this before they're forever freaking out about this situation they don't seem to be learning it really frustrates me but you know what i'm not responsible for their reaction i'm responsible for mine so you do a mind shift i can't fix them i'm not going to absorb their toxic energy in me.

Speaker 2 It's going to make me lose my wisdom or wiseness or whatever you want to say. In other words, you go through a mind shift.

Speaker 2 And then at that point, you then decide, okay, I'm just going to listen or I'm going to go out the room.

Speaker 2 or I'm just going to make notes till they keep quiet and let them just get it off their back and not let it or whatever. So some sort of simple little action.

Speaker 2 It could even be something like, I'm going to think of a white flower, anything that grounds you back in an action. So quick summary in 60 seconds, you do the sip breathing.

Speaker 2 You're going to then label or validate, name it. You're then going to look at the memories that come up and you're then going to do a mind shift.
And you can do that in 63 seconds, 60, 63 seconds.

Speaker 2 There's significance in that number, which we can talk about. But that is enough for you to get your psycho-neurobiology, your mind, mind, body connection back under control.

Speaker 2 And it doesn't mean that you're not going to get irritated by that person again.

Speaker 2 never people please again or never go into a regret cycle or whatever it is that you are battling with in that moment but it does give you the power to control the moment.

Speaker 2 The minute as humans, we experience the power to control the moment, 60 seconds, research shows that, oh, well, I can maybe control the next 60 seconds because the success is so empowering.

Speaker 2 And when you can control two 60 second moments, maybe you can control 10 minutes.

Speaker 2 And then maybe you can stand back and say, okay, over the next week, I'm going to stand back and observe myself and see if this is a pattern.

Speaker 2 It takes about seven days to find patterns that are actually patterns and not just moments passing through. And then from there, you go into a 63-day cycle to rewire.
Because that's a pattern.

Speaker 2 Whatever's a pattern is a habit. You don't get rid of habits in 21 days.
Habits, good, bad, ugly, building new ones, getting rid of old ones. That's a 63-day cycle.

Speaker 2 So there's a rhythm that's been created. And this help in a hurry talks about that 63 seconds.

Speaker 2 It talks about that moment, the 10 minutes, that seven, it talks about creating that pause, the gap, the red and the orange before the traffic light turns green. That's the concept.

Speaker 1 So all of this is really separating our body from our mind, correct?

Speaker 1 Doing this exercise so that you can step out of the moment, get out of your monkey brain or whatever it is, stop reacting emotionally and be able to like separate yourself from what's happening.

Speaker 1 So talk to us about the difference between mind and body. And then also like, what is the significance of 63?

Speaker 2 And just to reiterate, if you don't mind, just on the whole concept of getting out of your mind and brain and the difference and so on, I gave you a basic process, but there's lots of little tricks you can do in those techniques.

Speaker 2 And those tricks, it's help in a hurry. They're not long term.
These are the moment. I get the moment, but they're not going to be for the long term.
It starts the healing. It starts the process.

Speaker 2 So in those steps, there's lots of different techniques. And that's what this book's full of.

Speaker 2 If it's self-critical talk, your mind shift could be basically imagining that the criticism is a little ant on the stage and you standing back and you're observing this and shouting out, you can hardly hear the ant.

Speaker 2 And so you've immediately got control. These little things, what we've seen is that you're almost tricking your brain because your brain only does what the mind tells it to do.

Speaker 2 You're basically tricking your brain into calming down and your physiology and you're getting your conscious mind back online to listen to the non-conscious. So here we can come now to the definition.

Speaker 2 So I just wanted to expand that within those steps, you can put all these really cute techniques, find what you like, and all of them are scientifically researched and clinically applied and all the rest of it.

Speaker 2 Okay, so the mind is the big word or the collective word that we can use for a term that's used a lot in the current lingo, and that is the word consciousness. So you'll hear these all over the place.

Speaker 2 People are so into it. It's very topical at the moment to talk about consciousness, not that it hasn't been before, but it's currently very popular.

Speaker 2 And it's coming up in all the news on news feeds, which I'm sure you have seen.

Speaker 2 So consciousness is this concept for this human thing that we have, which is like our aliveness, this ability to be able to observe ourselves and how we turn up and how we show up and how we function and how we are doing stuff and being able to think and feel and choose and love

Speaker 2 and see the arguments and recognize the in all that stuff. So this ability to be alive, that is our consciousness.
And there's lots of debate about what it is and where it is.

Speaker 2 And there's one version of neuroscience that tries to show, and I say tries to show because it hasn't been very successful, even though it's the most spoken message.

Speaker 2 And that is that the brain produces this mind thing, this consciousness as an epiphenomenon as a result of chemical interactions and electromagnetic interactions in the brain.

Speaker 2 But that's never been proven. And in fact, it's been disproven over and over, but it's still kind of a dominant thing because it seems to make sense because it's physical and but it's not the truth.

Speaker 2 Anyway, and if you look at the science and the way they've done the research, it muddles things up. So coming back to the mind.
So what is the mind?

Speaker 2 This consciousness, I use the word mind, consciousness, same thing. Okay, so, but mind has got different levels.
And the mind has got what we call the conscious level.

Speaker 2 So mind consciousness has a conscious level, it has a subconscious level, and it has a non-conscious, N-O-N.

Speaker 2 Unconscious is not a level. Unconscious is a state that the brain goes into.

Speaker 2 It's a physical state that the brain goes into where chemicals and neurochemicals and things shift when we sleep or under anesthesia or knocked out. So just the distinction.
The conscious level.

Speaker 2 the subconscious, the non-conscious, and then unconscious is a brain state.

Speaker 2 And the reason I'm stressing that is because subconscious and unconscious are used as one term to denote these programs that drive us, which is not really accurate.

Speaker 2 So we're getting the accurate stuff here. Okay, so the brain and the body are the physical biology through which the mind works.
So they are the responders to the mind.

Speaker 2 So the mind is driving the physiology of your heart beating and your lungs working and your everything, every system of your brain and body.

Speaker 2 working is driven by your mind, your aliveness, this consciousness. So it drives physiology, it drives neurology, and it also drives psychology.
And that's why we talk about psychoneurobiology.

Speaker 2 The simplest way to understand this, just think of if you're very stressed out about something, very toxically stressed, you feel that in your body. You know, we all know that for years.

Speaker 2 It's been honestly 100 years of research has confirmed that unmanaged stress creates sickness. We all know that.
We all know that. So we're talking the same thing.

Speaker 2 Now, why would something like unmanaged stress, what is that? That's a mind process.

Speaker 2 If I'm stressed, it means something's happening in my environment, something's happening to me and around me, and I'm battling to deal with it. So it's affecting how I'm processing it.

Speaker 2 And that's affecting my brain and my body. Now, the reason it does is because the mind is all around us and through us.

Speaker 2 So if I put my arms in a circle around me, just to give people something to understand, this is your mind zone, that consciousness zone. And all the three levels are in that zone.

Speaker 2 And it goes not just around, but through.

Speaker 2 When a person dies, the body disintegrates disintegrates because that life force has gone that aliveness has gone that energy goes so we know therefore that the energy and there's so much research confirming this that energy of the mind aliveness consciousness whatever we want to call it is making the body functional so therefore it works the biology it literally runs the biology and the biology therefore is affected so if i have chaotic mind and a frantic mind and a mind out of rhythm and coherence and i'm not managing it that's going to reflect in the brain and the body because whatever happens in the mind, which is fundamental and drives brain and body, is going to happen in the brain and the body because the mind grabs it first, processes it first, and whatever chaos or peace it creates with that information is then placed in the brain.

Speaker 2 And then the brain grows that there's a chemical and electrical reaction and proteins are formed and that holds that memory, those memories that form a thought. And also it goes into the body.

Speaker 2 So memory is not in the brain only. The memory is throughout the brain and the body.
And so we always think, oh, oh, my memory is affected. It's my brain.
No, it's your entire brain and body.

Speaker 2 It's just different types of memory in the different parts. So therefore, every this conversation is being processed by the mind fundamentally first, the different levels, and then is copied.

Speaker 2 It's like, think of a little rain cloud. Think of our words being like little droplets and a little cloud of energy forming around our head.

Speaker 2 And that's this conversation with Caroline and you and I together.

Speaker 2 And then as soon as it's being made and formed, a copy gets put into the brain and we get this reaction and we grow neurons, dendrites we grow little nerve cells and then it also gets put into every cell of our body we have 37 to 100 trillion cells and it grows there so there's this very strong connection so if i'm not controlling that anger moment i'm going to create this storm cloud and then proteins don't fold properly it creates inflammation the chemicals don't flow properly so we create chaos in the brain and the body and it's all linked and that's psychoneurobiological effect so the mind is dominant prevalent the fundamental driver does all the work, puts it in the brain and the body.

Speaker 2 The brain and the body are the biological responders. We live through our nervous system, but the nervous system doesn't control us.
We control the nervous system.

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Speaker 1 Do you believe all sickness then is rooted from having a mental mess?

Speaker 2 You've got to be careful how we see that because you can have a vulnerable immune system because of what you've been exposed to, because of diet, because of socioeconomic environment.

Speaker 2 So the environment plays a massive role.

Speaker 2 And if you're living in a non-nurturing environment, if you're growing up in an abusive relationship, if you're in whatever, all of those weaken, that's all coming in and it's hitting your body and your body's vulnerability increases.

Speaker 2 So that's not your fault. We unfortunately live in a world that creates vulnerability in our brain and our body.
I mean, just by putting junk food in our body, we do. It's the same principle.

Speaker 2 You put junk food in your body, your body will not work so well. You don't do exercise, your body won't work so well.

Speaker 2 You don't have an environment that's very conducive to healthy thinking, your body won't work so well. So there's stuff that happens to us that creates this vulnerability.

Speaker 2 And then there is stuff that we do. So we choose, because choice is predominant.

Speaker 2 So how we choose to respond to that angry moment, which is what we started this conversation, how I choose to respond to the traumas in my life. You're not going to excuse the trauma.

Speaker 2 You're not going to ghost the trauma.

Speaker 2 You're not going to ignore the clinical impact of that trauma on your brain and and body and your life and the feedback loop that's created but you also have the power to change you can't change it but you can't change what happened but you can change what it looks like inside of that network and therefore how it plays out into your future that's the power we have so what research shows in terms of the link between mind and illness in our body is that there is somewhere between 75 and 95 percent the research varies but it's in that range of diseases are coming from how we are managing our mind in response to life.

Speaker 2 And that makes sense. If 99% of my mind is the thing that's fundamental, the work that's being done in my mind is going to impact the brain and the body because the brain and the body don't think.

Speaker 2 They simply do what the mind tells it to do. So we're putting the bad food, don't do the exercise, don't manage our thought life.
So there is that link.

Speaker 2 There are studies showing that 95% of current illnesses, lifestyle illnesses come from our thought life. So when we talk about lifestyle, that's a big word that we hear a lot of.

Speaker 2 And lifestyle are the choices we make about how we live our life, how we manage our stress, how we exercise, et cetera, et cetera. We're very good in this day and age at looking at the physical.

Speaker 2 Do the exercise, eat healthy. That's very strong, very established message.
And it's well done. People are very aware of that.

Speaker 2 But when it comes to mind, there's very little on mind management, very, very little. So we pay a lot of attention to the 1%, but very little to the 99.

Speaker 2 So my work is to try and make people more aware of the 99.

Speaker 1 Okay, really quick. What does 63 represent?

Speaker 2 62, 63. I'm playing on the number 63.

Speaker 2 So, around about 60 seconds, we see that from the translation of the different levels of mind, the non-conscious mind is the fastest part, operates at about 400 billion actions per second and faster.

Speaker 2 The conscious mind is operating at about 2,000. What does that mean? It means that the conscious mind can only handle about two to three words or one conversation at a time.
You and I talking.

Speaker 2 If someone talked to you and someone talked to me, no one would know what was going on. So, the conscious mind is quite slow.

Speaker 2 There's a reason, it's not bad, it's just that that's what the conscious mind does. It focuses on one conversation at a time.
The non-conscious, an infinite number of conversations, never stops.

Speaker 2 It's present, past, future. So, now you've got this massive power and it's got to fit into this slow conscious mind.
That's why we have the subconscious.

Speaker 2 It filters through, slows it down, and filters little bits of information at a time into the conscious mind.

Speaker 2 And this comes through from the 400 billion to different levels of speed, and then eventually gets into the subconscious mind at sort of 10 four to seven things per every 10 seconds and eventually that comes through into the conscious mind as these little bursts 40 bursts per second but we consciously perceive that as a stream of consciousness every 60 seconds so all those numbers that i've said very quickly all those levels we perceive kind of like a comic book think of when you watch a cartoon an animation it looks like it's one flowing thing but we all know if i think it's 40 images per every frame that create that frame.

Speaker 2 That's kind of what's happening. So what we know is that the stream of consciousness can be interrupted every 60 seconds.
That's what it basically means. And it's very, very influential.

Speaker 2 That is a very important time frame because it's that time frame that then determines the mindset.

Speaker 2 Instead of putting a stormy rain cloud into my brain, I can actually calm down and it's just a gentle storm. So you're still mad, but the madness has changed to a level where it's not controlling you.

Speaker 2 You're not absorbing that person's energy. You're kind of protecting yourself.

Speaker 1 And it's less damaging for your brain, right? Because every single memory is something that can be damaging for your brain, from what I really see.

Speaker 2 Exactly. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So I have to ask you this question. I wasn't planning on asking you this question, but now that we're talking, AI is highly prevalent.
It's all the talk right now.

Speaker 1 And I've talked to like every single AI expert. Everybody has a different opinion, but you know so much about brain and consciousness.
So are you worried about AI taking over?

Speaker 1 And do you think that it could ever reach human-level consciousness? Or because you know so much about the brain, maybe you're not so worried about it?

Speaker 2 So, I'm so glad you asked me that question. And how many hours do we have?

Speaker 1 I know it's a lot.

Speaker 2 Okay, so I'm going to give you a simple answer, and then I'll just refer people to go to my podcast because I actually recently did a podcast on AI and on all of this. So, they go to the Dr.

Speaker 2 Leave show, they can just put in AI and they'll find the podcast. And we have a blog and everything on it.

Speaker 2 Okay, so to try and give you this simple thing, I'm not worried about AI at all because I know as a neuroscientist and as a psychoneurobiologist, I know the power of the mind.

Speaker 2 I know the mind is fundamental. I know that the brain is a biological organ that works on computation.
Now, computation is algorithmic. It's pattern prediction.

Speaker 2 And it's the complete opposite of what mind does. Mind is abstract reasoning, intuition.

Speaker 2 when you do abstract reasoning like now we're having an abstract conversation there's no place in your brain that's for abstract reasoning because your brain, it's computes, it's algorithmic.

Speaker 2 So what we'll see is your brain lighting up as the details stimulate the brain.

Speaker 2 But this abstract reasoning of this, me answering your question and you understanding my answer is happening in the mind. And then the energy is put in the brain.

Speaker 2 So having said that, AI could never get to that level because AI is developed by abstract reasoning.

Speaker 2 So therefore, AI is incredibly useful in the fact that it can speed up those things that take us a long time, where you can do things much quicker, where you can, if you're battling with how to express yourself, you've got to fight through to work out how to express yourself.

Speaker 2 And then maybe say, okay, let me see if there's a better way of saying this. And then you can use AI to refine it in maybe three different ways.
That's a good way of using AI.

Speaker 2 But to just hand off completely, and Apple released a study just recently, which I'm sure you're aware of, where they showed that it's actually affecting the way that the brain functions.

Speaker 2 The brain's not exercised. The brain requires building.
It requires stimulation to keep it going. It needs to be constantly built, neurogenesis, neuroplasticity.

Speaker 2 When you use AI, where you take away the friction and the challenge that thinking deeply and intuitively and struggling, when you remove that aspect and you think AI is doing it, but you hand it off to AI and it seems like they're doing it because AI has got so much data that it can mimic back and seem like it's generating something very creative, but it's not.

Speaker 2 It's mimicry. Clever, very smart, very useful.
But when you do too much of that, your brain will literally shrink. The evidence is there.
It's not getting the exercise it needs.

Speaker 2 It's not being built in a way that's healthy.

Speaker 2 So the way to use AI in a healthy way is to use it, to be aware of it, to get as much knowledge as you can, but to recognize that you need to still manage it. It still needs mind management.

Speaker 2 I don't believe AI will ever, like general intelligence, will ever reach the levels of human intelligence because mind is the opposite. It doesn't compute.
It's the actual antithesis.

Speaker 2 It's the opposite of that.

Speaker 2 the other thing is just if you look at the neurology of a brain forget mind for a moment just look at the brain ai is based on the algorithm of how one electron fires the principles which is a hugely complex process we've got a hundred billion we don't even understand with our current neuroscience how two neurons interact let alone a hundred billion we don't even understand that conversation yet so we don't have the tools yet now one day i think we'll get there and that will make ai even more efficient and that's when we're going to have to use quantum computers and that sort of thing and then there's another aspect, and that is quantum energy, which is energy.

Speaker 2 And that's inside the neuron. We haven't even tapped into that yet.
So besides the biology, it hasn't even been tapped fully. So there's, you know, a lot of development down that side.

Speaker 2 The other side is that there's been research done for nearly 30 years called the Blue Brain Project, changed names a couple of times.

Speaker 2 Actually, a South African professor, Henry Markram, who actually started the project. 30 odd years ago.

Speaker 2 When he started the project, he said, in 12 years, we're going to build a computer that will reflect what the human brain can do.

Speaker 2 20 years into that, billions of dollars later, he turned around and he basically, I'm summarizing the whole thing, but he basically said that this is an impossible task.

Speaker 2 Every single thought is its own universe. All we've done in 20 years is map one pathway in a mouse brain as they look at cheese in a maze.
And that's an infinite pathway. What could human thought be?

Speaker 2 Wow. So based on those, plus research by Hammerhoff and Penrose, many different theories, when you look at it from that aspect, you won't be frightened by AI.

Speaker 2 You will embrace AI AI for the usefulness when you recognize that mind needs to manage it.

Speaker 2 What we have to be concerned about is our next generation coming up, where we want to make sure that as parents, as leaders, teachers, adults, whatever, that we make sure that they don't substitute AI for humanity.

Speaker 2 And because of the smartness of humans and our abstract thinking, we can create things that look so and seem so human. And that can cause a problem.
So we've got to be careful of that.

Speaker 2 We've got to work very hard at keeping our humanity, the distinction. We need to train that distinction right from the word go.

Speaker 1 Oh my gosh, I'm so happy I asked you that question. I feel like that's going to be so useful for people to hear because people are just really scared about AI.

Speaker 1 But I want to get back to help in a hurry. So you've written more than a dozen books.
I think it's like 19 or 20 books or something like that.

Speaker 2 It was number 19.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So incredible amount of work.
Why did you feel like this book needed to be put out in the world?

Speaker 2 What I found when I was practicing clinically, which I did for 25 years, I've been in the field 40 years. And the reason I stopped practicing was because I can reach more people with these principles.

Speaker 2 So alongside my practice, I've also been doing research for 40 years. We have a research team.
We still do clinical trials and different research projects and we publish.

Speaker 2 So everything that we bring to the table has got a scientific basis. One of the key things, and I say that to say this, everything I do is grounded in science.

Speaker 2 And One of the things that I found when I was practicing and I found in the people that we reach millions on on our platform, they would say, But how do I handle this moment?

Speaker 2 Right now, I'm in the middle of life. I don't have time to take 63 days to go resolve things.

Speaker 2 I've actually got to get through this next hour, this next meeting, look after my kids, keep myself together for a podcast or whatever it may be. Life, how do I manage the moment?

Speaker 2 So, I see it as a missing link. How do I create the pause? How do I learn to stop reacting, to start responding?

Speaker 2 Because reactions will drain our wise mind, our non-conscious mind, which is that wise mind where reasoning, logic, and intuition reside.

Speaker 2 The conscious mind is thinking, feeling, and choosing, but it needs wisdom to make it think, feel, and choose well.

Speaker 2 And when we get caught up in reactivity, we get stuck in a conscious mind-brain loop.

Speaker 2 And the conscious mind working without the non-conscious becomes very much a mechanical loop where it doesn't think things through. It's going to just react from generally bad habits basically.

Speaker 2 It's going to be driven by whatever bad habit had the most attention. So if I've been constantly allowing myself to get irritable, never ever get it under control, that's a very established pattern.

Speaker 2 And if I'm not listening to my intuition in my wise mind, then the conscious mind will draw on that pattern and the slightest thing will make me irritable.

Speaker 2 And I just set off that irritability loop and I just make it even stronger. So I want to stop that loop.

Speaker 2 Help in a hurry is for us to recognize those patterns and to recognize where they come from and to deconstruct and reconstruct them, to rewire them using neuroplasticity.

Speaker 2 So what we did was look at myself and my team, the top areas that people speak about. And it's easy to find those.
Just what do people say? I'm so pressurized. I'm so stressed.

Speaker 2 I'm so, I wish I didn't do that. They made me so angry.
Everything's not so black and white. I always do this.
I never do that. So there's 18 basically areas that we found that seemed to be top.

Speaker 2 areas there were actually 23 but we took the top 18 areas and that's what these 18 chapters that cover these basic areas of what people would ask me about the most at a conference questions dms all that stuff and then from surveys and then looking at the general research out there and so i've compiled those into simple chapters so that if people feel i'm under so much pressure or what do i do about my child who's diagnosing themselves from tick tock or i'm stuck in a regret cycle i keep people pleasing top sort of those and you find the chapter that's relevant pretty much i mean i do all of these things all of us pretty much do all of them but there'll be some that will be more than others and you find the one that's that's most relevant in your life at this moment.

Speaker 2 And then basically I explain what that means simplistically, a bit of the science and then techniques that you can use within that 63 second, 10 minute framework, seven window framework.

Speaker 2 And that's why I wanted to give them, I call it the missing link. Where do I start? Because I know when I was in therapy and my patients would come to me and they'd come with big stuff.

Speaker 2 And I work with neurological issues as well as trauma.

Speaker 2 I would work with people with stroke or heart attack issues from not being able to speak from heart attacks from learning disabilities, autism, plus the traumas from sexual abuse, and and then just the day-to-day stuff, just living.

Speaker 2 When you're in a state, the last thing you want is for someone to say, calm down. And the other last thing you want is for someone to give you a whole science lecture when you're so worked up.

Speaker 2 So, what I wanted to do was to give simple things. Okay, let's do these four things and choose our technique.
And let's practice that in the good time.

Speaker 2 So that when you see this as a pattern in your life, you get really irritated really quickly about this sort of thing. We recognize that.
Let's understand it. Let's create your little network.

Speaker 2 Let's practice it. So let's wire it in to the mind-brand body network.
So when you're in that state, you can draw on that.

Speaker 2 That then helps shift your perspective, keep you in wisdom, keep your conscious mind connected to the non-conscious.

Speaker 2 When our conscious mind disconnects from the non-conscious, we get into addictive patterns. We say the word addiction, people think alcohol, drugs.
Addiction is also those loops.

Speaker 2 what we keep doing that same thing over and over because even if it's not good satisfaction, it satisfies something, but it's not healthy.

Speaker 2 It's a craving that's going in the wrong direction, but it satisfies the basic need to have order and control, but it's distorted. So we always want to try and keep connected.

Speaker 2 So what I found from my research and clinical work was that, wow, this is such an amazing first thing that worked with my patients.

Speaker 2 And that's why I decided it's high time after 40 years to put this in a book.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I feel like a lot of this stuff is really useful. So I want to talk about the need to not label ourselves.

Speaker 1 There was a couple instances where I was reading that you were saying you don't want to label things like stress as an illness. You want to think of it as a signal.

Speaker 1 And then you also were talking about how you're worried about people self-diagnosing and labeling themselves with ADHD and that it can actually make things worse.

Speaker 1 So talk to us about when we should be trying to label things, whether it's our emotions or illness or whatever it is, and when we shouldn't.

Speaker 2 So the word label isn't a bad word in itself, except when you use it to tie something to your identity. Our minds are so powerful, as I've been saying.

Speaker 2 So when you label something and you immerse yourself in that label, it shifts your identity and that isn't necessarily the truth. So you can get locked in.

Speaker 2 And because we have such a dominant messaging of neurocentricity, which means brain, brain, brain, brain, brain, brain, brain, brain, brain, brain, brain. So once it's in your brain, well.

Speaker 2 pretty much that's it. That's been the messaging, which is a very hopeless message.

Speaker 2 And it's not accurate science and it keeps people stuck so what i've tried to show people is we're not decrying i'm not i want to say it's sidebar here depression anxiety these things when they become extreme they become a problem you don't need a label to justify if you are broken from a situation and you're in a state of depression where you need help that's not a brain disease that's not a genetic disorder and you don't need one of those scary labels to validate you are valid in what you are going through that's very important that when we talk about not labeling, we're not invalidating.

Speaker 2 You actually invalidate with a label.

Speaker 2 Because if you think about it, if there's 10 people sitting in front of me right now and all of them are what we would call clinically depressed, is it fair for me to just say, oh, you have clinical depression, you have clinical depression, you have clinical depression and stick them under a label without any real hope and then say, okay, you need this medication or do a bit of this therapy.

Speaker 2 That's changed their identity. They are now, I am depression, or I am anxiety, or I am bipolar, or I am totally toxically stressed and it's in my genes or something like that.

Speaker 2 What we've done is just limited that person and we've given them a gift, but it's an empty gift. So initially they might feel, phew, such a sense of relief.
Now I know why I'm doing what I'm doing.

Speaker 2 It makes sense. I've got all those symptoms and things like that.
But then what? Then you open that box and there's nothing there.

Speaker 2 And all 10 of those people, these people in front of me right now, these imaginary people, have all got 10 different stories. They don't just have one story, they have a thousand stories.

Speaker 2 And that whole thing has contributed to their epigenetic story, their environment,

Speaker 2 all of that has fed in. They have a network of stuff in their mind, brain, body connection that has led to the point that they're at today.
How do we minimize that to a label?

Speaker 2 So it's doing people an injustice, a disservice to say, phew, all of this you

Speaker 2 is now one thing. And by the way, it's genetic, it's in your brain.

Speaker 2 If that was true, this is the idea that was sort of being researched about 20, 30, 40 years ago, 50 years ago.

Speaker 2 I think it was about five years ago that Tom Insel said that 20 billion has been spent in the United States alone on researching the genetic and neurobiological foundations of mental illness.

Speaker 2 And he said that all we've done is publish some fancy papers, but we haven't proved anything. I keep up with the top scientists in this field.

Speaker 2 And I can say to you as a scientist, there is no research confirming that any kind of mental illness has a neurobiological cause.

Speaker 2 Effect, yes, because whatever I put in my brain, as I've been saying, is going to change brain function, but it's not the brain function that caused the problem now another sidebar let's say that you're in a car accident and you damage your brain or let's say someone hits you over the head or you get shot in the head or you have a reaction to a very strong medication or something like that yes that changes your biology for sure and that can definitely have an effect back the other way into your mind.

Speaker 2 Your mind is always powerful, but your mind works through biology. So if the biology is damaged, like the computer is damaged, it can't do what it used to do before.

Speaker 2 So that then impacts the efficiency that the mind can move through. One of my specialities was traumatic brain injury.
So we see a damaged brain, but the mind is behind it.

Speaker 2 So if we can try and pull the mind through, we can start changing things, which is what I showed with my research.

Speaker 2 Okay, so having said all of that, if I then take a label and say that this is it, with all the science I've just given you, I'm keeping myself stuck.

Speaker 2 It would be way better to say, yes, there is depression, but instead of a label, let's look at a description. Let's expand the definition of what depression is.

Speaker 2 So now I can say, okay, I'm showing up with depression. What are the emotions? So that's an emotional warning signal.
It's data. What are the emotions?

Speaker 2 Well, it makes me feel totally flat, makes me feel like I just want to give up. It makes me feel anxious, whatever.
So I'm now describing the emotional signals. Where do you feel that in your body?

Speaker 2 Every emotion doesn't work alone. It has a sensory input because that emotion is in the mind-brain-body network.

Speaker 2 It's it's planted deep inside the brain and the body and also in the mind so it's going to have a bodily sensation so where am i feeling that depression total lethargy in my body maybe gutache etc whatever then i can say okay how is this affecting my behaviors what i say what i do how i say and how i do it and that's where we can start looking at okay i'm withdrawing i don't want to do anything i'm not getting out of bed whatever then you're going to look at how is this affecting my perspective well my life sucks so now what i've done is i've described so i'm not depression i am depressed because of i am showing up with depression and these bodily sensations and these behaviors and these perspectives for signals categories of signals so those aren't it those aren't symptoms they signals of what they're coming from something a signal is coming from something it's coming from a thought what is a thought a thought is a collection of memories that are from an experience.

Speaker 2 That could be the abuse that you suffered for years. That could be the financial strain.
That could be the socioeconomic environment that you live in. That could be the political, whatever.

Speaker 2 That could be the problem with your child that's stressing you out as a mom, that you just don't know how to help your child. It's the million stories that we have.
And those over time play out.

Speaker 2 So there's a thought attached to it. And that thought's got memories.

Speaker 2 And every thought's made up of anything from 50 to 5 million memories, depending on how long, how big etc so if i can go from my signals to my thought then i can say okay so if i'm feeling depressed i've got all these other categories that depression is linked to all these other signals it's data that data leads me to the thought that's also data that's a story it's a narrative it's an experience and i can't change that it's happened but i can see ah that's why that's the big cause so i can go down to the root cause and i can do the work to deconstruct down to the root and then i can say okay how do i want this now i've got it i can't find out why that person abused X or why that person chose to behave like a narcissist and wreck my life or whatever, why that situation happened or whatever.

Speaker 2 But at least I know that I am not depression. I'm depressed because of, and there's a source.
Now I've got power. The minute I go through this process, this is mind management.

Speaker 2 This is the conscious what's doing this, all the stuff I've just said. Your conscious mind working with your non-conscious.
The two together.

Speaker 2 You're using think-fill-choose, think-fill-choose of the data, and you're using reasoning, logic, intuition, and intelligence and intellect and all the good stuff that's in our wise and unconscious.

Speaker 2 You're putting it together and you're doing this analysis and you're doing it in an organized flow. And then you reconstruct how do I want this to play out in my future?

Speaker 2 Now, as you can imagine, that's not going to happen in one day or 63 seconds. 63 seconds just arrests the process, gets you into a state to find the pattern.
That sort of thing happens over 63 days.

Speaker 2 So labeling takes you completely away from that process. Labeling is a finite, you are this because of this.
What do I do now? Lacking in hope. See, it takes hope away from people.

Speaker 2 And that is not good. And also your identity changes.
So we've done research where we've shown in people's brains where you do use QEG, which is a great way of looking at the energy flow in the brain.

Speaker 2 You don't read the brain, but you see the response in the brain. And we've had people that have been abused as children for years.

Speaker 2 And they've sat in situations where they have in the clinical trial, for example, saying that I am depression and they didn't know why they'd suppressed it.

Speaker 2 Anyway, long story short, we see in the brain waves that their identity has been fused with depression or fused with I'm only as good as the amount of stuff I do for other people, people pleasing.

Speaker 2 There's a fusion. So there's a distortion.
You can't see that in the brain, but what you can see is a drop of energy in the front part of the brain.

Speaker 2 And we know when people's identity is compromised, that's an abstract concept. But that abstract concept of me not having an identity shrinking is going to affect the energy in the brain.

Speaker 2 And we see that as a drop. So I'm just giving an example.
We'll also see the change in hormones. We'll see changes in things like prolactin, which is a hormone that picks up on these things.

Speaker 2 So you'll see change, DNA, right down to the level. We've looked right down to the level of telomeres, which are the ends of chromosomes.

Speaker 2 So labeling affects you all the way through, right down to that level. So I always tell people, take the label, turn it around and say, okay.

Speaker 1 don't say i am say i'm showing up as this because of and then complete the cycle get all the other descriptions added find the thought do that process and that by the way is called the neurocycle and we cover that actually in our first episode so I am going to make sure that I play that episode so you guys can figure out how to undo your trauma and things like that and what I hear you really saying in like the simplest terms because obviously I'm not a doctor or a scientist is instead of labeling yourself what is a story that you're telling yourself without you what are the details of that story and then how do you want to retell that story you summarize that beautifully and the brain brain-mind-body connection psychoneurobiology works on exactly that, telling the story and in an organized way.

Speaker 2 So that's why I said literally find those four signals. That's the neurocycle.

Speaker 2 It's a formula for how you actually get the rewiring, how you direct the neuroplasticity, how you change those faulty networks. So all that stuff is happening in the back, but you are.

Speaker 2 You are acknowledging, why am I like this? How do I want to be? Where's it from?

Speaker 2 You're changing your narrative. You have the right to write your story.
No one else. And you can rewrite your story.

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Speaker 1 So what is the difference between overthinking and deep thinking and how can we pivot between the two?

Speaker 2 Overthinking goes nowhere except in this loop that creates a lot of toxic stress inside of you it makes you feel worse and worse and worse you don't move anywhere versus deep thinking finds solutions it's a struggle it creates friction but it's growth and it's movement and it gets to a point where you are getting some level of solution so overthinking is very often triggered we can imagine overthinking doesn't tap into the non-conscious the wise non-conscious it's one of those loops that we get stuck and it's like this someone says something to you at work or a family member says a statement, something like, geez, you always do that.

Speaker 2 Now, it seems so innocent. Maybe they didn't even mean to say it.
But there's something that you maybe just a response that you had to something in the conversation.

Speaker 2 And they turn around and they say that to you. And it activates.
And then in your mind, you're thinking, what do I always do? What do I always do? Am I bad? Do they not like me? What have I done?

Speaker 2 And there's this loop. And there's no logic.
It's just going nowhere. It's just like hamster web.

Speaker 1 And that's the addiction you were talking about before.

Speaker 2 Exactly. It creates an addictive pattern because it releases all this dopamine, serotonin, and

Speaker 2 all of these great chemicals, but in the wrong way, not in an organized, satisfying, healthy growth way, but in a destructive creates what we call, it reduces the entropy of a system.

Speaker 2 And what that fancy word means is it creates disorder. And wherever there's disorder, there's going to be chaos and there's going to be a price we pay physically and mentally for that.

Speaker 2 So overthinking, you want to recognize it. And very often it will take a good seven days to recognize the pattern.

Speaker 2 And the patterns are the who, the what, the when, the where, the why the how so when i talk about finding a pattern to overthinking or any of these things you are asking yourself who do i do it with when do i do it why do i do it how do i do it so the who what when where why what have i left out who what when where why how you ask those questions and i've got little tables in the book that you can actually fill in and that's really important because then you can actually you're honing down to what this thing is you're getting control over it and that way it's easier for you to reconstruct how you want to change that and then to recognize because once you've had some practice with overthinking you may have heard me say this earlier on, whatever you've done, whatever story, whatever pattern, you'll always have them there, but they change.

Speaker 2 Instead of them being powerful, dominating forces, you turn them into teeny little, shrunken little things. But at any point, if I don't control it, I could go back to overthinking.

Speaker 2 So one of my big things was regrets, regret cycles. And I know what it is.
I've shrunk the tree. I've done the work.

Speaker 2 But if something big happens, I can easily find myself saying, if only I said that, then this, and all this scenario that would never, ever happen. And it makes me overthink.

Speaker 2 It makes, throws me into a cycle of overthinking, but I know how to catch it. I know how to stop it and not let it regrow, et cetera, et cetera.

Speaker 1 Let's talk about black and white thinking. How can people catch when they're doing this and what are the signs of it?

Speaker 2 So black and white thinking, there's a lot of use it or lose it. There's a lot of these kinds of phrases or it's like an and or game, but life is not like that.
Life's a grayscale.

Speaker 2 It's not either or it's and. Okay.
So it's not just one thing.

Speaker 2 So instead of saying words like always, never those words rather shift to sometimes and i may do that those very strong adjectives are very good key signals that you're stuck in black and white thinking be very harsh on ourselves with black and white thinking we get very judgmental of others people that are very judgmental on themselves and others have a tendency to black and white thinking if you don't think like me then you're wrong that's not correct if you don't follow this religion you're wrong if you don't follow this way of thinking you're wrong that's very black and white thinking and it's definitely not what life's about so it limits connection communication et cetera.

Speaker 2 And so the way to break that, and I'm giving this quickly because I know we're running out of time, is, you know, there's charts in the book, but go and have a look.

Speaker 2 And I've put down the general words like always, never, et cetera. And you can then track the pattern.
And then I've given you words that you can train yourself to say.

Speaker 2 So if you catch yourself saying never, which is a word I used to use a lot, if I say it now, the minute I say it, because I've trained myself, I'll immediately, there's

Speaker 2 goes off in my head and I'll shift it over to, oh, sometimes, you know, that's what you can do.

Speaker 2 The deep thinking, overthinking, one of the quickest ways to break that, quickest technique, read fiction, read stories, find a book you love. And as you read it, think about the character.

Speaker 2 Close your eyes and just think about it. In other words, to recreate deep thinking and find your identity again.
Characters and stories, we love stories. Humans love stories as we know.

Speaker 2 That's a quick way. There's a lot of other ways, but that's a very fast way of helping to get you into deep thinking versus overthinking.

Speaker 1 Okay, so the next is a game segment, and I'm going to list some emotions. And I want you to just quickly tell us what are some things that we can do to snap out of that emotion.

Speaker 1 You might tell me it's all the same for all of these. So we'll see.
So it's a help in a hurry, quick fire segment. You brought up regret, right? So let's talk about regret.

Speaker 1 What are some of the things that we need to know about regret and how can we make sure that we stop feeling so regretful in the moment?

Speaker 2 Everyone regrets. Everyone suffers battles with regret, some more than others.
But according to research, literally 99% of the world's population battle with regret.

Speaker 2 I don't know what the 1% does, but they're the ones that have started managing it so it's normal but regret you have what we call upward and downward counterfactuals and what that means is there's a fact that's happened something happened something was said something was done you did something whatever wrote an email had a conversation whatever and then that's happened those are the facts now we counter the facts with a regret we say ah if only i had said that then this would have happened And then we visualize this wonderful ending of all these great things and you feel absolutely terrible or you might say it could have got worse that's called a downward counterfactual so the thing to break it is never ghost yourself this is really key never ghost yourself if you have a regret honor that regret that's how you break the cycle interrupt the cycle with honoring the regret what do i mean by that i'm not making it better i am validating i'm not ghosting it i'm going to say okay i recognize i'm in a regret i'm saying and i'll actually say it i am saying and as you say it out loud to yourself you'll think gosh caroline you can't do that it puts you in a state where you can almost give yourself therapy literally so it's very much one of acknowledge say it out loud preferably if you're in a crowd or in company just say okay i'm in a regret cycle i validate what you're saying in your head but you can't go any further and let's move on enter back in the conversation or enter do something different like a minor distraction then you can come back and you can see is this a pattern and then you can do a 63 day it's not to ghost yourself but it's immediately to stop it so this is it okay i acknowledge it but now let's move on let's close that curtain and let's move on i'll deal with it later i'll find the pattern so is shame or embarrassment something similar that you would do Shame's a heavier one than embarrassment.

Speaker 2 So I would almost separate those two. Embarrassment, it can lead to obviously these things, there's a lot of crossover.
So when we embarrass, we often think, I wish I had done this.

Speaker 2 So you can go into a regret cycle, but you can use that as data. So if you're embarrassed, it's okay to be embarrassed.
It's okay to not be okay. That's a big strong message throughout my book.

Speaker 2 It's okay to not be okay. So when we're embarrassed, we need to be able to tell ourselves that it's okay to not be okay.
This is what I'm embarrassed about. It's valid to be embarrassed.

Speaker 2 I'm embarrassed for you being embarrassed. Whatever.

Speaker 2 Don't ghost yourself. That's what you can hear me saying.
And then mind shift. Say, okay, well, it's happened.
And I can tell you those people are.

Speaker 2 If they laugh at you for a few moments, listen, there's another thing coming along that will be more embarrassing, that will entertain them even more. It's happened.
It's done.

Speaker 2 How can you grow through it? You know, it's that kind of mind shift that will catch it and stop it. But it's not to allow ourselves to keep going down the rabbit hole.

Speaker 2 Catch the regret, catch the embarrassment. Shame is very deep.
Shame tends to be linked to identity. Shame tends to need a lot more work than embarrassment.

Speaker 2 Very often we'll need it, you know, they'll need a 63 second catch and then a 63 day, if not more.

Speaker 2 I found a lot of my patients that were abused had a lot of shame because it was spoken over to them and those patterns were established.

Speaker 2 So they battled to receive compliments and they always will see the worst in themselves and a lot of self-talk, that kind of thing.

Speaker 1 Okay, the last one here.

Speaker 2 What if you're feeling lonely so this is ai question they're worried about are we going to turn to ai bots to solve our loneliness okay that's just a sidebar there as well is that it can never satisfy our and a bot could never satisfy that human connection okay so loneliness is we've got to separate being alone and loneliness and there's so much in the media and rightfully so about the epidemic of loneliness and i even interviewed a previous surgeon general about this and he had a whole and i'm totally all behind that loneliness has become a problem we do live in a country that is very much individualized as opposed to community focused so what we do about loneliness is we all pretty much understand that there is a problem and that it goes against our human nature we need connection we all get that so then this thing is just to think not oh this is so terrible it's all going there it's going to kill me and whatever because it does affect your heart and all that it's to think what can i do what is the smallest thing that i can actually do i can reconnect with an old family member and i can set up a text thing once a week where we can talk or I can go and invite my neighbors over for coffee and do it on a regular basis.

Speaker 2 Or I can make it, it's getting yourself out of your comfort zone because we've also from COVID and individualized society and working so hard and pressure, we're just too tired to do anything.

Speaker 2 So if you don't feel like physically going and having coffee, text each other, get on the phone, set a date to have a chat and then try and get to the physical.

Speaker 2 So it's action because we all know the reasons. There's enough literature out there.

Speaker 1 So I want to talk about your career because we've got a lot of aspiring entrepreneurs out there and you have a unique career where you started as a doctor and a researcher and then you decided to start a personal brand and post online and start a podcast and write books.

Speaker 1 So first of all, talk to us about why did you decide to actually step out as a public figure? What was that decision making like?

Speaker 1 And then what were some of the early things that you did to break out there?

Speaker 2 I didn't know about branding and social media and all that kind of thing. It was not a thing 25 years ago as much as it is now.

Speaker 2 But what had happened was that in my career of i worked in private practice i had a clinical practice and quite a big one and then i used to do a lot of training and lecturing so i lectured students and i trained physicians and so i was already in a public speaking environment and i got invited more and more public speaking it was people telling me hey you need to share this with more then i got offered a publishing deal this was 30 odd years ago and I wrote my first book.

Speaker 2 And so it was a natural progression to recognize that, hey, this is something that I can help X amount of people individually. We have restarted our individual coaching again, but it's very limited.

Speaker 2 Obviously, we have limited numbers that I work with, but I can reach millions and I really do. We literally reach millions.
My goal is to empower people to empower themselves.

Speaker 2 As I said earlier on, 1% is brain and body, 99% is mind. So I wanted to teach people about mind because if you can tap into your intuition, you can find your identity.

Speaker 2 I know you know my book, The Perfect You.

Speaker 2 That is very key because in this world of influences, social media, branding, there's a lot of competition and there's a lot of, I've got to be like that person and a lot of loss of authenticity and a lot of, oh, geez, I need to be like that person.

Speaker 2 They're in my arena and look what they're doing. And I've got to emulate what they're doing.
My advice, I've fallen in that trap. And as soon as you do that, you lose your authenticity.

Speaker 2 The thing is, is to try and not look at the numbers and try and not look at, even though now and then have it that you don't have to look at numbers, but be more balanced. First find you.

Speaker 2 There's something you can do that no one else can do maintain that authenticity this was so key for me i've had one message for all these years and i have stuck to that message come hello high water i have been told by many people change this change that change this careful of that wording there and i have i respect and honor any advice but i will keep to the truth of the science and the message and i've kept to that and i've tried to keep as authentic as i can and then around that i've let teachers come in people come into my lives to say hey maybe you could say this differently or maybe you could do a little bit of this for personal branding or whatever people that know more than me about areas that I know absolutely nothing about I will learn from them open to learn so authenticity is number one retain your identity don't allow yourself to get into competition the minute you start competing you will lose your authenticity you may have numbers and whatever but the sustainability will go don't compete rather enhance we are actually designed as humans for enhancement which means lifting others up if i celebrate you

Speaker 2 i'm not taking anything from me i'm actually increasing my own empowerment and my own authenticity i'm growing but we don't live in a culture like that we live in a culture that oh i've got to do better than this one i've got to do better than that one and it's very very hard it's so easy and i fall in that trap but i catch it quickly i lose help in a hurry i get out of it as quickly as i possibly can so that's really what i would say and and learn get the best teachers i have some of the best teachers around me i have people in my team that i know nothing about that have taught me so much be open to learning and get the experts around i can't do everything.

Speaker 2 I know what I can do. I stick to what I can do.
And then I get the experts around me to do the other stuff.

Speaker 1 Well, your brand has blown up so much that it's become sort of a family business, right? So your husband is the CEO. I believe your kids work for you.
So talk to us about mixing family and business.

Speaker 1 What are the pros? What are the cons? Why do you do it?

Speaker 2 It's always a funny story because I never actually asked any of them to come in. They all chose to.
Now, my son-in-law was also involved, which is really great. So we've got the whole team involved.

Speaker 2 Our core team is basically family. And then everyone else are contractors.
So how it happened was that I had my private practice.

Speaker 2 My husband had his own business and he always ran, did all the sort of accounting side of the business, sort of business management side. And then it just got bigger and bigger and bigger.

Speaker 2 So he then basically sold his business and came in and took over CEO. By that stage, my eldest daughter had finished her degrees.

Speaker 2 And so she had been helping out while she was at university and she got involved. And then the second one went after her degrees, went to work.
And then she decided this is interesting.

Speaker 2 And then that's what happened right down to the youngest. And so, yeah, it's just it happened naturally.
And I think that's really important. I didn't ask them to get involved.

Speaker 2 I'm thrilled they're involved because they're immersed. They've grown up with this, but it was something that came naturally from them.
I think the key is they like what I do. This is important.

Speaker 2 It's important content that we deliver. And they sold on the content and they determined to try and get this out.
And I think that's what's drawn them in. Yeah, sure.
We have our issues.

Speaker 2 You have to be very careful that you don't work 24-7.

Speaker 2 We have to have okay it's now weekend we on a walk we don't talk business we at dinner we don't talk it's hard i mean it's so easy to slip into oh you know what this and to bring up work over dinner so it's very important and then the other thing is you've got to lay ground rules in meetings and that's been very hard because it's our mom you know or

Speaker 2 it's so much easier to snap at your husband or your child or get irritated or say something you would never say to a colleague so there's rules you have to put rules in place and you have to keep putting those rules in place And we fall all the time, but we keep picking ourselves up.

Speaker 2 Don't take offense. Keep moving on.
None of us take offense. We say sorry fast.
Very key. You're irritated with someone.
You snap at them. Say sorry.
Fix it. Take ownership.
Take responsibility.

Speaker 2 No one forces you to get angry. No one forces you to get irritated.
You choose. Take responsibility.
You choose. You can choose to change.

Speaker 1 This has been such an awesome conversation and I want to make sure I'm respecting your time. So I end my show with two questions.
You can answer them really fast.

Speaker 1 What is one actionable thing our young improfiters can do today to become more profitable tomorrow?

Speaker 2 Manage your mind. Get to know your mind.
Understand the importance of mind. Don't think you're ruled by your brain and your body.
Your mind is fundamental. Your biology is driven by your mind.

Speaker 2 And then the other thing I'd say as well is that you can't control events and circumstances, but you can control your reactions. You can turn reactions into responses.

Speaker 1 You have so much work out there. Where is the first place that people should go find your stuff to get started?

Speaker 2 Probably social media, Dr. Caroline Leaf.
I'm I'm on every platform. My webpage is drleaf.com and my books are available wherever books are sold.
And then I've got the podcast, Dr. Leaf Show.

Speaker 1 We're going to stick all those links in the show notes. Dr.
Caroline, you are always welcome to come back on the show. Thank you so much for your time.

Speaker 2 Thank you so much. Great questions.
I really enjoyed it.

Speaker 1 Well, Yap Vam, what an insightful conversation with Dr. Caroline Leaf.
Back on the show for a second time and as eye-opening as ever. If you take away one one thing from this episode, let it be this.

Speaker 1 You don't have to wait to heal. Dr.
Leif's new book, Help in a Hurry, is all about giving you fast, science-backed tools that you can use in the heat of the moment.

Speaker 1 You can reset your mind in just 63 seconds. That way you stop reacting and start moving toward a more intentional response.

Speaker 1 I love the concept of mind-brain-body connection, a reminder that what we think about will grow. If we stay stuck in negativity, we're not just spiraling emotionally.

Speaker 1 We're literally wiring toxicity into our brain structure. But the good news is that we can choose to think differently.

Speaker 1 With awareness, you can create new neural pathways that lead to peace, clarity, and better business outcomes. Entrepreneurs, this is your competitive edge.
Dr. Leaf also dropped a massive truth bomb.

Speaker 1 Not every emotional struggle is a disorder. We live in a culture that loves to label depression, ADHD, but those labels can quickly become boxes that we live in.

Speaker 1 Caroline challenges us to stop identifying with the problem and instead get curious about the the root. What is triggering all of it? What is the pattern?

Speaker 1 What are the stories you're telling about yourself? She encourages us to stop identifying with our struggles and start organizing our thoughts into meaningful narratives and take back our control.

Speaker 1 And lastly, my favorite part of the conversation was when we talked about AI because her take was refreshing, it was unique, and it was also relieving because she knows so much about the brain and consciousness.

Speaker 1 And she says that AI may replicate human output, but it's never going to replace humans. It's never going to replace human consciousness.

Speaker 1 The ability to think deeply, feel meaningfully, and manage our minds, that's what makes us truly human.

Speaker 1 As entrepreneurs in the age of automation, our ability to regulate our thoughts and emotions will be our ultimate differentiator.

Speaker 1 So yap bam, if you're feeling stressed, anxious, or mentally cluttered, don't rush to label it.

Speaker 1 Pause, reflect, reframe, and remember, your mind is literally a magical tool that is near impossible to replicate, not even by AI.

Speaker 1 So manage it well, and there's there's no limit to what you can build. Thanks for listening to this episode of Young and Profiting Podcast.

Speaker 1 If you listened, learned, and profited from this amazing conversation with Dr. Caroline Leaf, then send it to somebody who you know is ready to transform their mental well-being.

Speaker 1 And if this episode helped you shift your mindset, do us a solid and leave us a five-star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to the show.

Speaker 1 It's one of the best ways to support us. If you guys want to watch all of your videos on YouTube, it's uploaded on there.
We're also now on Spotify Video. If you guys want to check that out.

Speaker 1 You can follow me on Instagram at Yap with Hala or LinkedIn. Just search for my name, it's Hala Taha.
This is your host, Hala Taha, aka the podcast princess, signing off.