Anthony Anderson

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Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan Shepard.
I'm joined by Monica Padman and Aaron Michael Weakley. Hello.
Today, our guest, Alliteration Monica. We love Alliteration.
Your favorite. I do.

Anthony Anderson with a cute nickname, Ant. Ant is a cute nickname.
He kind of goes by Ant. Emmy-nominated actor.
I was watching his Law and Order years on the plane ride here. Oh my gosh.
Ding, ding, ding. Of course, Black-ish, Kangaroo Jack, Romeo Must Die, Barbershop Scary Movie 3.

He has a new movie on Prime Video right now with Viola Davis called G20. I love her.
Yes. Incredible Kiss and Homelander.
Yeah. Tony Stark.
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Find your power with Peloton at OnePeloton.com. He's an ultra-spent He's an ultra-spent He's an ultra-spent No, motherfucker, you didn't do push-ups before the charity event.
Yeah, I try not to be swole at charity events. It's not a good look.
Hey, what's up, son? Loosen up your rotator cuff. Nathan and I are in the Guinness Book of World Records.
I'm in there twice. Twice.
And you're in there. What happened? Just one time, son? Only one.
Not anymore. I'm not.
I don't have any more. And now recently.
Oh, you don't even have any more. That's right.
You've been removed. I'm sorry.
All right. I got to go.
I'll highlight you later, man. Oh, wow.
Wait, what are your records? Well, that's as good a place as any to start. What world records do you hold? I hit a golf ball the furthest with the longest usable golf club in the world.
36 feet and one inch was length of the club. Okay.
Just put that in perspective, Monica. You know, the gray trailer sitting over there.
Yeah. That's 26 foot.
So 10 feet longer than that trailer was the club he was using. What? Did you have to have something in the middle for a pivot? No, I was on a podium.
Okay. Because you can't stand.
The podium wasn't much higher than this table, so I had to stand up on that. I had to rotate.
And you can't fucking. Oh my God.
30 fucking six feet long. You can't.
Ain't none of this shit. No, no, no, no, no.
It had to be a control shit and smack the ball. I forget what the record was for distance, but I out drove it.

Not that it drove far.

It was a couple hundred feet.

That's pretty good.

I was expecting like 40 feet.

Oh, no, no, no.

Much longer than that.

A couple hundred feet.

No, no.

Yeah, be careful because people could check this.

Yeah, it's in the book.

So maybe not a couple hundred feet, but it was far.

Okay.

How did you find yourself in this position?

Is this something you completely orchestrated on your own?

No, I was invited to do it.

So if you go to Topgolf right now, they played a video in Topgolf.

It's been playing there for years because I did it out of Topgolf in Vegas.

Okay, great.

I forget who invited me or how I got involved with it, but they asked me to come down and

do it.

And I was like, yeah.

So I got a couple of sprigs swinging and whacked a motherfucker.

And then when I hit it and broke the record, they had a fucking marching band come out. Oh, you're kidding.
I had no idea what's happening. He broke the record in his whole marching band, like 50 or 60 people with instruments.
Wow. Now, my question is.
I have so many. Me too.
Are people sitting around thinking like, OK, how about this? Here's a world record. 36 foot golf club.
Who's imagining this? Maybe they're going through the book and saying, I could do this. After that, I felt compelled to make a show.
Once the marching band came out? After the record. After I did it and they did all this shit.
And then my son, as you heard on the call, Nathan was in the Guinness Book of World Records for putting on the most t-shirts in 30 seconds. They had a Guinness book come up to a school and I don't know what the record was, but my son beat it.
How many did he put on? What if it was like three? 27, 30. It was almost one a second.
And I got to imagine once you're wearing 30 t-shirts, it's got to be getting up around his face. Yeah.
The t-shirts would have to be getting progressively larger. You start at small and go to large.
Maybe they stay the same size and that's part of the thing because it's getting bigger, but the shirt is still staying the same size. That's an added layer.
You're getting thicker, yeah. And then is there a regulation? Like it has to be Hanes.
Because what if you get the thinnest material? Stretchiest. Yeah, that I don't know.
But the thing with Nathan's record is it wasn't published. Not all Guinness Book World Records are published in the book.
You get a certificate and it says, say you broke this record, this is your record. So that's what he has.
One of my records is published in the book. The golf swing club is published in the Guinness Book of World Records.
Were they doing that in Compton? When you were a kid, were you just studying? Were they playing golf in Compton? No, no, no, no, no. You saw a black dude with a golf club in Compton.
You went the other way. Sure, sure, sure.
No. Were you studying the Guinness Book of World Records? Because in elementary school, I was obsessed with it.

Oh, no, that was one of the books.

As a kid, you just went to it.

It was like, one day I'm going to do this.

How can I do this?

The tallest guy.

I'm going to see the tallest guy.

Like you and I probably have the same image of the heaviest twins.

And they were on those little Honda mopeds together in the photo.

You could barely see the moped.

You couldn't even see.

You could not.

It was all wedged up in between.

It implied there was a moped.

Yeah, I remember that. It's such a memorable photo.
And then the fingernails, you look up the fingernails. Ooh, so you're in that.
But wait, what's the second one? We gotta know. Me and Darius Rucker, I was shooting a show and we were doing something and we were attempting two other records.
We're trying to break a record of building this sandwich. We didn't get that one.
And the other one was Most Hugs. So we broke the record for Most Hugs in a minute.
It was just some simple stuff. You just had to tap your hand, embrace and release.
And Darius and I have that record. It did.
And we did that in the park. We attempted three, but we got the record for most hugs in a minute.
That one isn't published in the book. Okay.
Probably homophobia. They want to keep that out.
Yeah, you're right. They're historically very homophobic.
We should have been in the record anyway for just most hugs completed by two black men. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or a black man and a blackish man. You know, take your pick on which one is which.
I love this. You guys can see it straight into the interview.
I thought we were just having a conversation about myself. Oh, yeah, now we're always recording.
It was just like, wow, I love it. ABR.
Yeah. Always be recording.
You and I have to occasionally, I'm sure, approve bios, right? Like you're going to go somewhere and then they send you a thing. Here's what we're going to read before you come out.
Yeah. The next time you're on Kimmel, what they should say is world record holder, Anthony Anderson, when you come out.
Because that's so much more impressive than actor or producer or any of that. I think I should do that.
And then just let people imagine what it is. Not even get into it.
Just be Guinness book world record holder. Yes.
And when I describe you to people, I'd be like, you know, my friend, Ann, he's a world record holder. He also acts.
Two-time. Can you put two-time world record holder? Two-time world record holder.
Shit. by now he might have three or four.
This guy's picking him up. I started to tell you, I was trying to develop a show.
What I wanted to do was take my son, since we're both Guinness Book World Record holders. Competitors.
And try to break as many records as we can as father's son. I wanted to enter the book that way.
But there's some guys in there. And one father's son, they pull fucking fire trucks.
Ooh. Me and my son can't do that.
You're not going to get that record. Are those guys Scandinavian? Are they like from Iceland or something? I think they are Scandinavian.
Yeah. But this father's son, they're in the book for multiple records.
It's like Magnus von Magnus and Frimbrun Magnus. And so I was like, I want to do that.
Okay. So you and I were recently together, which was really fun.
I mean, don't say it like that. No, I'm going to leave it just like that, just like the world record.
We were recently together. Moving on.
Great time. No, we, among some other people, went to Vegas because Kimmel was being honored and we were on an airplane together.
We were shooting the shit. Not just an airplane.
We were on a PJ. We were on a private jet.
They need to know. We just weren't flying Southwest.
That's a good look for you. It's not a good look for me.
Why is it not a good look for you? I'll tell you. And I say this all the time on here.
When black people are showing wealth, I'm like, fuck yeah. It was impossible for you to get it.
It fucking let it rip. I don't mind at all.
When I see a white kid driving a Lamborghini, I'm like, come on. Yeah, I mean, but it's a flex that we could all use, man.
It's not JetBlue. You know what I'm saying? Or the other ones.
It was a private jet. But would you agree there's a difference? No one's going to be rooting for me to be on a private jet, nor should they.
I root for you. Because we know each other.
And you know I'm from the fucking bowels of hillbilly country, Michigan. Yeah.
Come on, baby. Yeah.
Okay. So we're on this flight and we're talking about gambling.
And I already know that you gamble. Yeah.
I'm fixing to gamble when we're there. We have a little two hour break.
And then you're like, let's play together. And I don't know if I was very forthcoming in the moment, but I was starting to get really fearful that we were going to sit down and you were going to be playing like 2000 a hand.
And I was going to be playing like 25. Right.
And feeling emasculated. And you go, we should play.
And I'm like, yes. You did jump at the opportunity to do it.
But in my mind, I'm like, oh, I'm going to feel like such a clown. No, no.
Playing next to you. Thank God you decided to take a nap.
Yeah, I did. Is what happened when we got there.
And you went to the table. I went to the table.
And Kristen and I just gave it to him straight in the hiney. You did.
$225 we won. $225, man.
Anytime you can leave Vegas with their money, that's a win. That's a big win.
But were you right? Would it have been a big, massive leap of... No, you know what? Would you have been like, not this table.
We were just there for fun. So it would have been fun for us.
So we would have been paying in gen pop. We would have been paying at the little $10, $25 table.
I can't go lower than $25. Right.
I would

sit at the $25 table and we would have had a great time. When you're putting a quarter out there,

every time you bet, you know, it's like, I've got to play this right. So yeah, we would have had

great time. Okay.
Now let's talk about the event itself. Yes.
Power of love. Good memory.
I've

done it twice before. Once was for Smokey Robinson.
Oh, he was honored. And honored Lionel Richie.

Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Great time.
I have one really good Lionel Richie story. What's that? It's not

I'm like, oh my God, Lionel Richie's over there. And we're like peeping him and everything.
And then we get distracted and then life carries on. And then all of a sudden I look up and he's standing there and he goes, hi, I'm Lionel Richie.
And I go, oh my God, I know you're Lionel Richie. We love you.
We're chatting, chatting, chatting. And I said, Lionel, I know what your best song is.
And he said, what is that? And I said, this is your life. And he goes, I think that is my best song.
Was he drunk? And then some hugs. And then he left.
And I'm like, this is so great. He does not think that's his best song.
He played along with me. So he just happened to be wandering down the aisle and stopped at you and Kristen's seats and said, hi, I'm Lionel.
Not Lionel. I know.
Lionel Richie. Lionel Richie.
Well, I think he probably saw us when we got on, but we assumed he doesn't know who we are. And then I guess he just decided, fuck if I know him.
But that happened and that was very exciting. Are you friends with him? I am.
Lionel's cool. So Lionel, if you're listening to this podcast, which I know you're probably not, but by a chance, if you are, I'm still waiting on my dinner at your house.
I've gone through two girlfriends and a marriage of 23 years, and I have yet to be at the dinner at your home that you've invited me and my wife and two of my girlfriends to. Yeah, let's sort that out.
Yeah, I know. Lionel's a great guy.
I do imagine his house being a very special situation. When you bought a house in Bel Air in the 80s, it's its own thing.
Yes. When I play golf at LA Country Club as a guest, not as a member.
Okay. You can see Lionel's house from the fourth hole, fifth hole or something like that.
So every time I go about a house, I hit a ball in the backyard. And we ain't motherfucker.
I want my dinner. But to see his home, just see the backyard.
It's in layers. Oh, good for him.
It's in at least three different layers, but I want to count four. It's terrace.
Yes, but not just the width of this table. I'm talking about park-like terraces, cascades down.
I was like, God damn, Lionel. Good for him.
This is your life. And I hear that he has, I don't know how true this is.
I started talking to him about it one day, but we never finished the conversation. He built a room in his home to replicate the room that he originally wrote his music in.
Oh, wow. And he was at Tuskegee and all that, the early days of the Commodores, where he wrote the music and old record players and records and shit that was around him in that space when he was being a creator.
It's a replica. Yeah, I started talking to him about that and he started to give the answer

and then something happened

and we both got distracted.

But, you know, I'm going to call him.

Are we doing a real-time call?

I would love it.

Let's call Lionel Richie right now.

Ask him what his best song.

Okay.

If he picks up.

He never picks up,

but he has a response to a text message.

Lionel, please pick up.

We need you.

Oh, it's the third ring.

He's not picking up. Your call has been forwarded to voicemail.
The person you're trying to reach is not available. When you have finished recording, you may hang up.
Hey, Lionel, it's Anthony Anderson. I'm here with Dax Shepard and Monica.
I'm doing a podcast and I was hoping that you would pick up the phone because we're here talking about you. You met Dax on a plane with his wife, Kristen, and you walked up and said, hi, I'm Lionel Richie.
Dax said that he knows what your favorite song was. And it was, This Is Your Life.
Is This Is Your Life really your favorite song? Or is that what you just told him? And secondly, I was telling him that word on the street is that you have a replica room of when you wrote your greatest hits when you were younger at Tuskegee and all of that.

And I told him how we were starting this conversation

and I asked that question and then we got distracted

so you never answered it.

So please call me back and answer it.

And I promise to put you on the air.

And invite our friend to dinner.

And the dinner that you promised me and my ex-wife,

me and my ex-girlfriend,

and me and my ex-ex-girlfriend. That's three relationships that I've gone through.
Still waiting on dinner, Lionel. Call me back.
Bye. Oh, if he calls back in the middle of this.
Oh, make sure your ringer's on. I'm going to send him a text that says, call me.
I tell him I've been in a bad accident. He's going to think there's a huge emergency.
Call me. Please.
I'm going to say please. Put the police in here.
Oh, no. I'm scared.
He's going to think there's a huge emergency. Call me.
Please. He can put the police on you.
Oh, no. I'm scared.
He's going to drop everything. What is it? I've just left surgery.
Did you watch that Greatest Night in Pop, Doc? It's the documentary about them coming together to, was it We Are the World? Oh, We Are the World. Yes, I've seen that.
Isn't that incredible? Yes. Because Lionel's incredible.
Everyone's incredible. Daryl Hall's incredible.
Yeah. And then Michael sings and you're like, fuck, among all these people, there's one person's actually like 20% better.
Not to mention any names. If you saw the doc, you really know how horrible some of them sounded.
Sure. Sure.
Sure. Sure.
Sure. Sure.
How about when Stevie had to do Bob Dylan in his Bob Dylan voice so Bob knew how to sing? That was the crazy part, man. I thought it was Bob singing.
Yeah. No.
Stevie Wonder also. Genius among geniuses.
Okay. So let's talk about this.
Stevie Wonder can see. Oh, this is a big rumor.
Can see? Yeah. Stevie Wonder can see.
Okay. Hold on.
Hold on. We need to know your proof.
I need to go deep into that. Stevie Wonder can see it.
Here's what I've seen. I'm sure you've seen him.
I've seen some videos. There are a lot of people that believe he can't.
And there's a couple moments on stage where like a mic stand falls and he catches it. Yes.
Yes. Okay.
Tell me why. I've known Stevie for years.
Okay. I've hung out with Stevie.
We've partied together. Just the concerts.
What if you said play darts together? No, no. This is a little thing that we would always do every time we saw each other.
Stevie would be talking to you. The next thing you know, he'd grab you and slit your throat.
Like, how did he know where my throat was? You know what I'm saying? So he'd take his finger like he had a blade and slit your throat. And he's like, I got you, motherfucker.
I was like, okay, that's cool. You're in close proximity.

You're talking to somebody.

You get their height.

You've been around them a while.

That's cool.

Your ears are echolocating the distance of their mouth.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I get all that orientation.

That's something.

That's on the up and up.

So we are at a jazz festival that I believe Stevie is producing in Trinidad.

So we get there.

Let me back up.

Just because, hold on, let me see if that's Lionel. Oh, that's my mama.
She can wait. Doris, give us two.
This is another flex. Stevie says, hey man, why don't you come over here and do this jazz festival I'm doing? I'm like, okay, cool.
Meet me at the airport. So we get at the airport.
It's Stevie, Natalie Cole. Oh, Jennifer.
Whitney Houston. Come on.
Come on. Johnny Gill, myself, Gabrielle Union, Derek Luke, couple of other people.
So we're taking off and Stevie says, oh, don't forget, we got to stop in Atlanta and pick up Chris. Like, all right.
So we stop in Atlanta. We pick up Chris Tucker.
What year is this? This is 15, 20 years ago. Okay.
And so we land in Trinidad, Tobago. This will date it.
When did the police get back together as a band for that last tour after not being a band for like 20 some odd years or whatever? Whatever year that was. Okay.
I think they've tried it a few times and I think it never works. This was that last big tour that they had.
And this was their first show coming together. Was going to be at this jazz festival? It was at this jazz festival.
Oh, cool. So it was just a regular jazz festival with all these other performers.
Patti LaBelle, Natalie Cole, Johnny Gill, all these people performed. And then the night we all went in the audience to watch The Police.
Come on, with Stuart Copeland playing drums. Yes, The Police.
But before that, all these other people were performing. Johnny Gill is on stage performing.
Chris Tucker and I get on stage and we become his background dancers. And the crowd is packed because they're here to see that on top of the police.
So you can just imagine how big this crowd was. Dougie Fresh grabs the mic.
He gets the crowd in the frenzy and all this before somebody else gets on stage. I ended up on stage right.
Stage left is over here. And it's a musical stage with huge bands.
So just imagine how large the stage is and all the equipment that's on stage. Yeah, yeah.
I'm the furthest away from stage left on stage right. And Stevie Wonder, I see out of the corner of my eye, starts walking walking on stage because Stevie Wonder wants to be a part of what's going on on stage I was like oh shit Stevie's about to get down this motherfucker walks from stage left through instruments through cords through cables through foot pedals through everything walks to me now 150 No, 150 feet.
Looks me in my eye and says, Anthony, get me to a piano. I'm like, what the fuck? Hold on, how could he not find the piano? Yeah, I know.
He walked past the piano. Dougie Fresh is beatboxing.
Chris Tucker is dancing. Johnny Gill is singing.
There's a party going on stage. They're fucking stagehands and grips.
Stevie walks through the maze of everything and walks directly to me and looks me dead in my eyes this close. Well, he's wearing sunglasses though now.
Yes, he is. And says, Anthony, get me to a piano.
Oh, my God. This is a compelling.
And I was like, Steve, you just walked past the fucking piano, but okay. And I walk him to the piano, that center stage that he walked and didn't even touch, walked around.
Okay, Monica. Yeah, this is compelling.
This is tough. Now let me ask you this though, because then I have to go straight to, what would be the motive? Let's try this case.
He's been living the lie for so long that he doesn't want anything to know. Like a great magician where you got to live the routine.
Yeah. Do you think his feelings would be hurt as your friend? Knowing that you think he's able-sided? No.
We talk about him. We laugh about him all the time.
Like, I'll send him text messages. He's like, I know you saw my text message, man.
Call me back. It could be a smell thing.
I hear you on that. I'm trying to say that.
He's 120 feet away from me. Dude, people are dancing.
It's Jamaica. You know how much weed was being smoked in Trinidad and Tobago? Maybe that's part of it.
It's like, I know to get a rap. I mean, we just don't know.
Don't they say that the other senses get so strong? Really? He didn't want to ask Chris Tucker to take him to the piano. He passed him first.
He couldn't ask Johnny Gill because Johnny was still singing. He might have geotagged you somehow.
He put a little something on you on the airplane. He's like, you're going to be my anchor.
I'm going to find you. Okay, here's our really funny one.
Friend of ours worked at Houston's, our favorite restaurant. Stevie Wonder comes in with like five, six friends.
And the two funny things about it is all the tables are obviously numbered for the servers right yeah so one of the servers says to the runner hey drop this at stevie wonder's table and the runner says what number and he said number stevie wonder and then this could be an exagger, the friends were holding up their drinks and pointing another round, but they would never say it out loud. Oh.
He went, no, they were getting slushed at dinner. And he's paying.
He's paying. Yeah, another one of these, but they were not saying anything.
So you wouldn't know. They were drinking $400 worth.
Yeah, you know. What's the bill? I got it.
Don't worry about it. What's the numbers, y'all? It's not bad, Stevie.
But there've been sightings, you know, Shaq tells stories, Eddie Murphy tells stories how they've seen Stevie Wonder driving cars and shit like that. I've seen Stevie walk through landmines and come to me.
Yeah, wow. That, as I tell the story, he's like, yeah, Eddie and Shaq said they've seen him drive cars.
He'd be like, yeah, it's crazy. I saw the man walk through landmines and get to me.
So I was like, anything's possible. I wouldn't care if the whole thing was a ruse.
I wouldn't feel deceived. And also, if you think about it, it's an incredibly useful thing to say you have because you never have to remember what anyone looks like.
There's just

so much shit you would get out of. But man,

that takes some commitment. Oh my God.

Dedication. Yes, next level.

And then, Stevie, I love you.

If you're listening to this, because I know you're not

watching the podcast, but if you're listening to the podcast.

I think he is watching.

Maybe is what you're saying. If Stevie could

see, he wouldn't have made some of those fashion choices that he's made over the years. Okay, so that's the other bit of it.
That's the evidence for the other side. That, and he wouldn't have kept getting those braids with his hair receding the way that it was.
Stevie would have started and be like, yo, what the fuck y'all doing to my line? Y'all pushing my hairline back. I got cow legs now.
Okay. I do want to go back to Compton, to childhood.
Oh, let's go. We're of similar age.
And when I was growing up, all the music was coming from there that I loved. The movies I loved at that moment were coming from there.
And you were living there. So a couple of questions.
What was it like growing up there? And then also, I just trying to imagine my hometown being the source of all these great movies, all this great music, what that felt like to be there. And was there some disconnect of, oh, yeah, everyone's into this.
It's on TV, but it's not a party here. Oh, it's a combination of all that.
You know, I'll start with the latter first. It's not a party or celebrated the way that people were digesting it or enjoying it.
But it was my reality. So the shit that you saw and the things that people were entertained by, the music, the culture, the movies that were in and about Compton, it was also about these places around the country as well, but it was centered here.
It was crazy, man. You know, I wasn't affiliated with any gangs, but you're affiliated by association.
You're affiliated because it's the block that you live in. I was going to say your neighborhood probably plays a big role in shit.

Yeah, they were like, I don't give a fuck.

You live on Holly or you live in Luters Park.

You live in these places that were what they were.

I come from a blood territory, a blood hood.

And the other hood surrounding areas were Crips.

Whether or not I was a part of the gang culture, it didn't matter.

To the other side, that's where you live.

So that's what you're about. I had to walk through all of that.
I went to the high school for the performing arts. Which was at Hollywood High? No, no, no.
That's Hollywood High. That's where I graduated.
That's where I did my senior year. Oh, okay.
Okay. This is the LA County.
The LA County High School for the Performing Arts. I was part of the inaugural class in 1985.
I'm actually going back to do their 40 year reunion this year. Oh, cool.
Somebody reached out to me and asked me to be a part of it. And I never wanted to be a part of the school.
Why? Because they kicked me out for having weed. I get why you did it, but you let the white boys with cocaine stay in the school.
I know I'm getting off our topic and I'll get back to it, but I had an issue with the administration. So for the longest time, people that I knew there were students there, I had friends who had kids there.
You should come back and talk to the school. And I was like, no.
And then one day I woke up and I was like, but that's doing a disservice to the students. Exactly.
Who did nothing to you. Yeah, who did nothing to me and would love for somebody like me to be there and be a part of that.
Absolutely. So years ago, I decided, OK, whenever they ask me again, I'm there.
So I had to be ready for school by 530 because I had to walk a a mile and a half to a bus stop. 5.30 in the 80s, shit's popping.
Oh yeah. Especially in the hoods where I'm from.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why? Mornings were like extra? Well, because people have been smoking crack all night long.
They're still out. They're still buying.
All this shit, drive-bys. Nobody schedules a drive-by 3.30 in the afternoon.
It's like, yo, we're going to catch them when we catch them. So walking through my hood was fine.
But then I had to walk through other neighborhoods. You hear Tupac and them talk about Long Beach and Rosecrans.
You hear people rap about that shit. That's my neighborhood.
That's the corner where I had to sit and wait for a bus at 5.50 in the morning. Right across the street are the Santana Black Crips, diametrically opposed to the Lutus Park Bloods and then the Mott.
I'm probably speaking French to y'all and all this other shit, but those who know who are listening understand. So I have to sit on that bus stop at 5.50 in the morning waiting for a 6 a.m.
bus. That takes me two hours to get to school.
And then I had to reverse it at four o'clock when I got out of school and come home. So really quick, what's the survival mechanism? Is it ignoring? Is it acknowledging? Is it ignoring until you have to acknowledge? You don't ignore it.
That's when you get caught. You know, your head is always on a swivel, especially moving alone in areas that are hotspots.
I'm always conscious of where I am. That's just the era that I come from and the neighborhoods that I come from.
So when you were seeing it blow up in pop culture, to be fully honest with you, my best friend, Aaron, who I'm still best friends with, we left Detroit right when we graduated high school. We went on a road trip.
We lived in the car for like six months. When we came to LA, our very first stop was, we're South Central.
Very wide of you. Yeah.
We want to see all the action. And then we got there and being from Detroit, the projects in Detroit, you know, you're looking at them.

Yeah.

And we were like, these are kind of nice houses.

It was a little confusing.

I was going to ask you that. All these like World War II bungalow developments.

It's very confusing if you're from the East Coast to come out and see.

And also what's been presented in media and stuff like that.

Yeah.

So if I were you, I would be like, what the fuck are these white boys doing? They're tourists. That's when you get caught up.
So you never got caught up in anything. No, but I was also smoking crack in Detroit.
I'd never known that about you. Oh yeah, I'm an ex-addict.
And I used to be in the gnarliest apartment smoking crack in Detroit. We recognize that.
Yeah, I knew how to get by. And so did Aaron.
Okay. But all to say, I'm trying to imagine what it is when you're inside of it.
And people, they themselves are enamored by it. Yeah.
Is it annoying? Yeah, it is. It's like when the baby falls into the gorilla cage or somebody gets into the cage.
You want to see the motherfuckers get ripped apart. Yeah.
I should say when the baby falls in, because that's an accident. But when motherfuckers get in and like want to play with the lions and want to play with the monkeys and you know better.
Yes, yes, yes. It's like, motherfucker, there's a wire cage and there's a brick fence.
You climbed all of this. You swam across the moat to get this.
You deserve whatever you're about to get right now. And the animal should not be punished.
Yeah, exactly. For what is about to happen to you.
Yes. And it's fucked up that the animal has to be killed, euthanized, maimed and whatever because of what this asshole did.
So sometimes when you see shit like that, you're like, okay, this is all news to me. You're telling me you've been an ex-addict.
I probably knew about that, but I didn't know you smoked crack. Sure, sure.
You probably talked about it. You have to talk about this shit because you said it so freely right now.
Without any shame. We talk about it every five minutes.
How old were you when you started smoking crack? And what was that about? How long was the addiction to that? Well, crack, thank God, was something I did semi-controlled. My preference was to snort it.
Snort crack? No, no, snort coke. Okay.
I was like, hold on, motherfucker. You're going to snort crack? You just didn't want to go to cocaine? And I would often run out of that.
I can't get that at three in the morning. So I go to ghost town in Venice and buy crack and I'll smoke crack.
You weren't doing that while you were in Detroit. No, no.
Then I go back to Detroit for the summers and hang with all my boys and we go downtown. But you weren't a kid doing it.
I wasn't a child. I probably smoked it for the first time when I was 21.
All right. Wow.
This is also while he's at UCLA. No! Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, two things are happening that make no sense. Yeah, yeah.
I'm at UCLA and in the groundlings. I'm a comedian.
Okay. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.
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What if your mind could trick your body into feeling sick? Or even worse? In Hysterical, I investigate the bizarre medical mystery that unfolds in a high school in upstate New York. It starts with one girl developing strange, violent symptoms.
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Start your free trial of Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Have you ever done SNL? I haven't, no.
Neither have I. It's heartbreaking, right? It is, man.
And now I'm getting so old, now it's starting to sound like too much work for me. Yes.
You look at the successes that we've had, you know, in our careers. And then you look at some of the talent that they have come there and host.
And you're like, did I upset somebody? Right, right, right, right. I've never questioned my ability because I know what I can do.
They called for my availability one time. It's not to say that they were offering it.
No, I got the same thing. And that's great.
Yeah, they call for my availability, but then they never call back once we sent them the dates. I was like, what the fuck? I was available.
I was in the middle of Black-ish. I mean, we're shooting my show.
We get 24 episodes a year. We get the call.
We're going to tell ABC, yo, we shutting down for whatever. I'm about to go do SNL.
These motherfuckers never call back, man. I'm going to say this from the bottom of my heart.
You would be great.

Oh my God, you do.

You would be such a great host.

I'm very surprised

you haven't done that.

That's what I've always said.

Yeah, you really would be

a great, great host.

While I was doing

my first stint

on Law & Order,

so from 2008 to 2010,

they came to

Jeremy's sister and I

and wanted us to shoot

a bit with

Zach Galifianakis

because he was hosting.

So we went and did a Law & Order bit type thing. Oh order bit type thing.
And it aired? Yeah, it aired. I was cool with that, but I was like, yo, you can call me to come be funny and do this shit.
But I get what that was. You got to take it as a win.
You're back on the bus stop, 530 in the morning. You're like, oh boy, they're in a fight.
They're about to start shooting. Where's the 360 down Long Beach Boulevard? Come on, express bus.
And then the white angel shows up and he says, guess what? At some point, SNL's going to call and ask for your availability. You're going to go, oh my God.
Okay, I won't run. That's a win.
I won't run from these bullets. I just hope they don't hit me.
Okay, so single mom or you had a stepdad? I've never called him a stepdad. He's been my dad since I was an infant.
So that's my daddy. Great.
And you had a good one. I did.
He's from Little Rock and he came to work in a steel mill? Yeah. Little Rock, Arkansas.
Youngest of 16. 16! Same mom, same dad.
Grew up on a farm. An Irish twin.
My uncle Adel is 11 months older than my dad. My uncle Adel came out to California being an Irish twin.
He was tied to the hip. He came out to be where his older brother was.
That's what brought my dad out to California. Ended up working in the steel mill, Sule Steel.
Where's that? In Watts. That's not still functional.
No, it's not still functioning. All the steel went over to Japan years ago.
It was crazy. My dad, his company sent him to Japan.
And my dad was like six, four, 300 plus pounds, but he was 300 solid. So just imagine a big butt dude with a jerry curl.
Were people taking his pictures? Oh my God. My dad has pictures of him and all these Japanese women just surrounded him and he's holding up his hand and his lady's hand is like down here

just to see the size. And her basement's flooded.
And I know my daddy was over there fucking his

ass off. And so he was there for a few weeks, man.
I'm surprised he came back. He had to come

back to my mama. How did he end up, he owned clothing stores at some point? Again, my father

did everything my uncle did. And my uncle started a clothing store in Watts and built it up to a few throughout Los Angeles.
I'll never forget, growing up as a kid, my uncle was doing well. And he would walk around with a briefcase and have $15,000 in it.
So 50 years ago, 40 years ago, for a black dude, he'd be doing successful in business. And this was just the receipts from his stores from that week.
And he would come over to my dad's house and they would talk. And, you know, just being like, ha, ha, ha.
And they would sit up there. My dad would count the money with him and wanted to do what his older brother did.
So my father went downtown LA to the garment district,

bought a box of Braxton jeans. I'll never forget 36 pair of jeans and a box.
He went to a swap meet on that Saturday, sold out, went back the next day or later on that day, took the profits from his one box and bought two boxes, sold out the next day. So the next week he took that profit and bought more stuff.

And so that's how my father started at Swap Meets.

And then he had this one particular corner in Watts in LA that he would go to and set up shop, you know, canopies and tents. It was like an open storefront.
Did he make you work with him ever? Yeah. And I didn't have a problem doing it.
Good chance to work on your people skills. Yeah, popping my shit, my dad popping his shit, making money, getting paid as a teenager.
Then from there, my father started opening stores. And when he opened the stores, it was for plus size women because my mom was a plus size.
So he was catering to the women he loved. So it was plus size women in children's clothing.
And that's what he did, man. And what did Doris do? I know she wanted to be an actor.
She wanted to be an actor. My mother was a telephone operator for the County of Los Angeles.
Yeah, I read that and I was like, this feels so 80s to be a telephone operator. Yeah, yeah.
And she worked at a hospital, Harbor General UCLA Medical Center in Torrance, California. And you had a little brother.
Two little brothers and a sister. My sister's the baby.
I'm the oldest. I lost my youngest brother about 20 years ago now in a car accident while he was at West Texas A&M College playing football.

Oh, yeah, because they're probably huge like your dad. Yeah.
So we lost him and then a year later lost my dad. So it's three children now, me, my brother Derek and my sister Doris.
When my dad died, I thought it was going well.

Okay.

But in reflection, it really fucked me up more than I really kind of realized at the time. And I have a few friends whose dads also died too young.
I don't know. It can bring out some wild stuff.
I processed it as best as I could or as best as I knew how. And I don't think I really processed it as an adult.
Yeah. Yeah.
What year? This was almost 20 years ago. So I was in my 30s.
I was successful. Well, good.
He saw that. Yeah, I've been successful a while.
So he got a chance to see all of that stuff. But you know, when I go to my therapist, I'm going to talk to my therapist about this.
You're giving me something to talk to him about because I don't really think I fully processed the death of my father. Me either.
It's still evolving. Mine was 2012.
So 13 years ago. My most consistent dream is dreams about him.
When he died, it was a bit of a relief because I was caring for him and supporting him and it was complicated. And so at first it was just like, okay, there's a lot off my plate now.
And then, oh, I miss him. And then it just continues to unfold this whole thing.
And now I have a completely different view of him than I did when he died. I recognize all these incredible things he was in spite of some things I was disappointed in.
Yeah. Just all these things.
And yeah, now I'm like, God, yeah, I'd really like to go back now and hang with him when he was virile and not dying. Yeah.
My dad, it's sad how it happened because I'm a type 2 diabetic. I was the first person diagnosed with type 2 diabetes in my family.
I started getting healthy and I started partnering with Eli Lilly and now Novo Nordisk, bringing awareness about diabetes to the inner city, in particular, black men. They over-index, right? Yeah, very much so.
Because I lost my father to complications of diabetes. And what was fucked up, he had diabetes for probably 20, 25 years undiagnosed.
Without knowing. Oof.
That's rough, right? You're peeing all the time. You're fatigued.
Dad's just tired. You know, this is a teenager growing up and all this other shit.
He's like, why does dad have a bucket next to the bed? Because he fucking just roll over and piss in the bucket next to his bed. Yeah, because he's peeing nonstop.
Once I was diagnosed as a diabetic, I was like, oh shit, this is what my father had. As I was growing up, I'm looking at the symptoms I have and I'm looking at the symptoms he had.
It had gotten to a point where, I don't know what it's called, but we say it's elephantitis, where his lower extremities were all fucking one size, from the knee down to the ankle and to the foot. And it was swole and was hard as this table.
And then he developed leaking ulcers on the back of both of his calves. And it became painful for him to walk.
So I had to get him a cane and a roller walker. At this point, my father's in his 60s and he just let himself go.
So now he's really just a big man. By the time he was diagnosed, diabetes had wreaked havoc on his body.
And I took him to the best endocrinologist that I could find. We tried to nurse him back to health.
And he was in the hospital for a couple of months, had a pulmonary embolism while he was in the hospital, but they were able to catch it and save him, then released him to a rehab center. And then they let him go home.
So we had a nurse that would come to him daily. And then one day I went to visit my dad and my brother, his nickname was Tuga.
That's my brother that passed. And I was talking to my dad, he was laying in his bed and I was in his bedroom, just leaning up against his dresser, speaking to him.
And I was like, Hey, what's going on, how you doing? He's like, am I right? He said, I saw Tuga last night. I was like, really? He said, yeah, he just sat on the edge of the bed right there.
I said, and what you guys do? He said, we just talked. I was like, oh, really? At that point, are you like, oh, dad's kind of hallucinating? No, not hallucinating.
It was like, dad is about to go. Yeah, right, right, right.
I believe in ghosts and all that. So when he was telling me my brother came to visit him, I was like, oh, okay, it's time.
And not long after that, man, he died on Valentine's Day. I was going to work.
I was filming The Shield and I got a call in the middle of the night from his nurse and said, we lost your dad. Oh man.
And yeah, that's why I'm so adamant about going around the world and just talking about diabetes and giving my testimonial and just talking to men. I know I got it from being a glutton and from not eating the right shit and for doing all this other shit that I did throughout my life that contributed to it.

I'll say that much.

I contributed to it.

Were you adjusting or regulating the inside with that? Like I'm using drugs and booze? Oh no. It wasn't like a coping mechanism for anything? No, no.
I just like good shit, man. I just like it.
Probably why I got motherfucking gout in my big toe on my right foot occasionally. Oh, that's rough.
Yeah. Oh man.
That's what my dad at the end, he had gout in addition to everything. You know, it's crazy? I was living in New Orleans for a while, shooting a show there.
That place will give you gout. Yeah, I was like, I'm going to be healthy.
Not the place. I was eating nothing but seafood and shellfish.
I was like, oh, I'm just eating seafood and shellfish. But all the purine in the shellfish contributed to my buildup of uric acid.
And I'll never forget. I was in the scene and I went to kick a

door in and I hit it. And I was like, ow, I think I broke my toe.
And I finished the scene. Then we

moved locations. We were filming in a hotel in the middle of the night and I was laying across the

bed and they said action. And I jumped up to run and chase the perp.
And I put pressure on my right

foot and I collapsed. And I was like, oh yeah, I broke my toe.
I went to the doctor the next day,

limping in. They were like, what's wrong, Mr.
Anderson? I was like, I kicked the door and I

I think I'm going right foot and I collapsed. And I was like, oh yeah, I broke my toe.
I went to the doctor the next day, limping in. They were like, what's wrong, Mr.
Anderson? I was like, I kicked the door and I think I broke my toe. They're looking at it like, I don't think you broke your toe.
I said, yeah, no, I think I broke my toe. They're like, you might have the gout.
I was like, no, I ain't got the gout. That's not for me.
I was like, Dr. Kotler, let's go on x-ray.
They humored me. I was like, okay, Mr.
Anderson. Took me to x-ray, they should.
Came back 30 minutes later. Said, okay, we got good news and bad news.
Which one do you want first? I was like, the good news. All right.
You didn't break your toe. I was like, what's the bad news? You got the gout.
Oh, God. I was like, you motherfucker.
If you look at it, it looks red hot. And so if you put your hand above it, you can feel the heat coming off of it.
Now I think about it. I was like, well, it is uric acid.
You associate acid with being hot. That's just my little ghetto way of thinking about things.
But if you hover your hand above wherever you may have the gout, it's radiating heat up off of it and it's bright red and it hurts like hell. Okay.
What I have gleaned from the many interviews I've watched of you now is, and I'm guessing, having to leave Howard, was that heartbreaking? It was. It was disappointing.
So you go to Howard after this magnet school you're at, and you're there for how many years? Three. I ran out of money after my junior year.
And you're doing theater there. And are you loving D.C.? Loving D.C.'s Chocolate City.
It was at the beginning of gentrification. And at 17, 18 years old, I didn't really understand or know what gentrification was, even though I was at the beginning of it in Washington, D.C.
The Washington Wizards, their basketball team, used to be called the Washington Bullets. But because it was the murder capital of the world at one particular time in the 80s, and they had been the Washington Bullets forever.
Yeah, it had nothing to do with it. So they were like, maybe we need to change the name of the king.
Let's rebrand. Optics.
Washington Murderers. Yeah, you're right.
So they changed the name from the Washington Bullets to the Washington Wizards. Just a little something for you.
Yeah, a little extra. So you run out of money and you come back to LA.
Yeah. How long before getting back to starting to get employed? Cause I feel like you and I have a kind of a similar, I didn't start getting hired as an actor till like 28.
25 for me. Oh, right.
You do five years on a Saturday morning teen show. I got that when I was 25 years old.
So I left Howard at 20. Those five years is long, right? Yeah, I came home, especially with nothing.
My parents ended up getting separated a few years after I came home. I moved in with my mom, went to a couple of community colleges just because I wanted to keep my mind active.
I was like, I'm going back to Howard. I just want to sit here and fuck off.
So let me go to some JC's. I went to El Camino Community College and I went to Compton College for a semester each.
And I was like, yeah, I just want to keep my mind active. And I want to pick up some classes that's going to transfer so to make my load a little easier when I go back for my senior year.
That shit never happened. Well, until 2020.
When did you go back? 2022 is when I went back. And you graduated.
Yeah, my son got accepted to Howard University in 2018. When I went to college, I would have been the first person to graduate in my family from college.
So that's why I was like, no, I got to go back and fucking finish. Then I started having kids.
And then my younger cousins, 10, 15 years younger than me, they started going to college and graduating. I was like, fuck, I wanted to be the first.
Yeah. So my daughter went to the University of San Diego, graduated magna cum laude.
I was like, oh, fuck, now she's slapping me in the face with this shit. Then my son gets accepted to Howard.
His mother and I met at Howard. In 1989.
Yeah. So you're a double legacy kid.
You got to go to Howard. And I was like, you know what, son? You're inspiring me to go back to school.
I'm going to walk with you in 2022. That gives me four years to make up 15 credits.
So I was like, I can do that shit. And so he goes, real life gets in his way.
He's a young artist, actor, musician, rapper, and he wants to pursue his dream. And my son would always tell me, he was like, you dropped out of college and look at you.
I was like, first off, motherfucker, I didn't drop out of college. There's a difference.
I had financial hardships. I didn't just wake up one morning like you did.
He'd be like, fuck it. I'm dropping out.
My dad got me. No, motherfucker, your daddy ain't got you.
There are consequences that comes with these choices that you were about to make. And I'm telling you right now, you about to fuck it up.
Yeah. But he left after his freshman year.
But I kept my promise to him. I kept my promise to myself.
And I walked in 2022. That's so cool.
I love that. Taraji Henson was our commencement speaker the year I received my degree.
Oh, wow. Taraji and I were classmates in the College of Fine Arts back when I was in school.
Wow. Denise Saunders, who is the associate dean of the College of Fine Arts, was instrumental in helping me get back into school.
She and I were classmates when I was at Howard University. Felicia Rashad is now the dean of the College of Fine Arts.
And this is her last year as dean of the College of Fine Arts. She and I are friends and have done things together.
I received my degree from her. And the College of Fine Arts is no longer called the College of Fine Arts.
That year, for the first time, it's now called the Chadwick A. Bozeman College of Fine Arts.
And Chadwick and I are contemporaries and friends in this industry. All of that happened the year that I went back to get my degree.
And it was just a full circle moment. And I took my best friend, who's my kid's godfather, Skinny Boy, who I went to high school with.
We ended up at Howard together at the same time as freshmen. So it was a full circle moment.
I went back to get my degree with the guy I started college with, with all of these people that I started college with. That airplane ride home, I'd be like, well, if it goes down, like this is about as great as it gets story-wise.
This really worked out. So many wonderful things you were in.
I really am jealous of a lot. Why? What are you jealous of? Well, departed.
The fact that in your lifetime, you worked for a Scorsese. You can just leave it right there.
You don't have to read anymore. It might be the greatest cast of all time.
I would say that. Directed by the greatest director of all time.

We've both hosted Kimmel and you've done it a lot.

How many times have you done it?

I think I have the record for most appearances on Jimmy Kimmel.

If I haven't passed Adam Carolla yet, I am a close second to him.

God, I feel like I got to be up there too.

Do you know how many you've been?

No, there's a lot.

Like every summer when Jimmy takes off, I host for a week. But what's crazy, he used to have co-hosts on his show with him back in the day.
That's right. So you would come on and co-host with him.
I was the last co-host that he had. Mike Tyson was before me.
Uh-huh. And then I came on and then I would come sit in for him.
And then whenever he needed a bit or something, he always would call me and I'd call call my mom so it'll be me and my mom on there yeah your mom at the award show that bit was so great yes it was so fantastic of all these hosting duties which is your favorite i mean the game show rack it's nice because you're just cranking out episodes those are cool and i get to do it with my mom so that's cool but i would would probably say Kimmel because I've always wanted my own talk show. So I enjoy it from top to bottom.
It's like me directing when I was directing on Black-ish. It was like, okay, I don't know how to direct, but my crew is not going to let me fail my very first episode.
Right. So, you know, this is a safe place for me to do.
It's a great place. So Kimmel is home for me.
He's a great talk show host, but he's a fucking great friend. Oh my God.
You know, he's a great guy. Yeah, he'll almost shame you.
He's right there. We gave him a Best Boy Award.
We gave him a Best Boy Award. He's the best boy on planet Earth.
Best thing I would say is Kimmel. And right after that, hosting the Emmys.
You loved it. Yeah.
Do you know that Ant refers to himself as the Lucci? What's her name? Susan Lucuchi. I'm the black Susan Luchi.
Yeah. Because he's been nominated 11 times.
Monica and I were talking about the other day and I was like, I don't know, man, if they had fucking nominated me, mind you, I've never been nominated, but if they nominated me five times, I might go like, I'm not fucking coming anymore. Like when I used to be nominated for an NAACP image award, every year I go and I think, ah, shit, this is the year.
And I was like, ah. And then one year I was like, oh, this is it.
Oh, no. I showed my ass in this.
This was it. And I get there.
I didn't look at who the other nominees were. So I was just like, oh, who's nominated? I get there and I look at my category and I was like, Denzel Washington.
Oopsie. I had this suit made for nothing.
Not me. And the winner is for best lead actor in the movie, Denzel Whitehall.
Fuck. One last question, and then I want to talk about G20.
How do you know Jordan? And what's that hang like? Wait, what Jordan? Michael Jordan. Michael Jordan.
The Jordan. Okay, got it.
Oh, you guys live next door to Michael B. Jordan.
MJ. He said there's three black people in his neighborhood.

Him, Michael B. Jordan, and Machine Gun Kelly.

You've done your research.

I tried to.

You've done your fucking research, man.

That was funny.

We kind of love him.

We had him on.

He was one of my favorite guests ever.

Yeah, he's a special dude.

He's like a very sensitive, sweet dude.

He's nothing like you think he would be.

Yeah, yeah.

He called me up one day, Thanksgiving. He was like, yo, Ant, you got any aluminum foil? I was like, I do.
And you're grown. You should have it too.
I was like, I'm in Qatar right now. But yo, I can give you the code to my back door.
Yeah. Cool.
So I was like, yo, I'll give you the code to my back door, man. It's in the drawer right next to you.
He said, no, that's all right, man. I'll task rabbit it.
I owe him a sweet potato pie, by the way. He always calls me about the sweet potato pie.
Because he knows I bake. He's a sweet boy.
You need to take him under your arm. I'm going to do his birthday parties and all that.
We're good. Oh, that's good.
But Jordan, we watched Last Dance, as everyone did. Yeah.
And just so fascinated. The brand Jordan would ask me to come do their corporate things for their athletes that wear brand Jordan.
Like he would do a corporate retreat with just his elite athletes who wear his stuff. Oh, so fun.
And I would be there as the host. As a world record holder.
Yeah, as a world record holder. Two times, two times, two times.
I would just be there as a host and having fun. And all we would do was play golf and he would have competitions.
He would set us up in different groups. There could be eight or nine groups with 10 athletes per group.
And it was like, yo, I want you guys to create a new shoe and tell us what you think it is. And whatever group wins, we'll get a pair of Jordans from Jordan 1 all the way up to whatever year we're at that time.
time every single pair every single pair and whatever color scheme that you want oh my god see I wore these just for you yeah there you go I got those too so my team fucking lost but the fact at that time it was like 30 pair of J's that you could get in your colorway that's 15,000 bucks or 30,000 bucks worth of shoes. Yeah, so we've become cool, but what really made us cool, they opened the Cove Hotel in the Bahamas at Atlantis.
Yes. So this was 20 years ago, 17 years ago, something like that.
So they had a big grand opening and MJ is sitting there. We're in a restaurant.
Stevie Wonder's birthday. All kinds of celebrities are there because it's a huge opening.
We're in Bobby Flay's restaurant. And so I walk over to MJ.
I was like, oh shit, there's MJ. And I've never met him before.
I was like, I got to talk to him. So I'm talking to my ex-wife.
I'm like, hey, babe, I'm going to go talk to MJ. So I'll go see MJ.
And I say, hey, MJ, hey, man, I just want to say it's a pleasure to meet you. And I was like, I hear you're a domino player.
And I brought your dominoes with me. I have this red player of aluminum jump man dominoes that I got at NBA All-Star in Vegas from a brand Jordan party.
And he looked at me, he said, did I get you those motherfuckers? I said, no, you didn't. And he was like, how did you get them? I said, well, I consider myself to be the MJ of bones, but that's beside the point.
I'd like to play with you. And he turns to my ex-wife and says, okay, look here, ma'am, I suggest you go to the bank and take out as much money as you can because once I whip his ass, he won't have enough money to take care of you and your children.
You're smart. You ensnared him in competition.
Yeah. And she's like, I'm not going to let him play you for money.
But this is what he do. And he was like, meet me at the cabana tomorrow at noon.
Oh, damn. I was like, all right.
He's crazy. So I'm swimming in the ocean with Patrick Ewing.
Oh, sure. This is wild.

My ex-wife comes running up to me.

Baby, baby.

I was like, what?

She said, MJ's at the cabana.

I was like, yo, Pat, I got to go.

So I get out, dry off.

I run upstairs.

I grab the dominoes.

And before I leave, I see a camera sitting on the table.

And I said, babe, grab the camera.

Got to take a picture.

So she grabbed the camera.

This is my first time meeting MJ. And I'm hanging with him.
So we get to the cabana. It's Ahmad Rashad, MJ.
And then MJ brought somebody to play dominoes with us, right? A ringer? Yes. And so we're there.
Ahmad's not playing. Ahmad's just sitting there with his legs crossed, just looking as we're talking shit and having fun.
And I'm just timid. I'm not talking shit.
I'm just enamored with MJ and he's beating me. I rarely lose in dominoes and he's beating me, but I don't give a fuck that he's beating me.
I'm like, he's on the back of my dominoes like this and I'm playing next to this. You want to look at the list of people who have lost to Michael Jordan? It's a good list.
What a moment. Even better, a list of people who've beaten Michael Jordan.
So I'm playing with him and he's talking shit.

And my wife

looks at me and says, yo, you just gonna let him

keep talking shit to you like that?

And I was like, shit, I'm gonna go.

But he says something

that gets me razzled,

razzled. I was like, fuck this, I'm gonna stop

playing timid. I get domino.

We're playing to 150.

Jordan has 125. His buddy has 75.
I have 45. And I get the domino and I look at him and I was like, yo, MJ.
I said, this is going to be the hardest 25 points you ever had to score in your life. Just know that.
This is so scary. Now I'm out of my shell.
Now I'm like, yo, fuck this fuck this I ain't gonna have this motherfucker whoop my ass I played domino now I'm talking shit I'm talking cash shit to this motherfucker and he's giving it back I'm like yo baby go get the money go get the money my mod is laughing fucking is talking shit. And then we're sitting there and boom, I say some shit and I win.
Right? He's like, run it back. I was like, okay, motherfucker, let's go.
So now we're running it back. Now I'm talking shit from the beginning.
Now I'm in my element and I'm boom, boom, boom, talking shit about him, his mama, his daddy, his kids, all this shit. And then I'm whipping his ass and I'm whipping this motherfucker's ass.
And then I was like, yo, I wish me and my wife could make babies right now because we would go upstairs and make a baby right now and we would name him or her MJ just so when he or she got older, she could say, Daddy, why did you name me MJ? And I could relive this moment right now. Bam! Damn it, motherfucker! Won the game.
His security comes out of the cabana. There's a DJ on the pool.
The DJ scratches the record, stops the music. The fucking hotel security comes out.
The people that are swimming in it, because it's the opening, it's the grand opening of this huge fucking hotel in the Bahamas. Everybody stops and turns towards us.
Don't worry. I just whip Michael Jordan's ass in dominoes.
He all right, though. We good.
I'm good, MJ? He's still got the shoes. You good? Oh, wow.
And I try to have my lady take pictures of it The motherfucker refuses to take pictures with me Now I have to find these pictures Because I have pictures of this motherfucker just looking Just like this And me sitting there smiling But he refused to take pictures with me And then We're on this island for the next three days For the celebration of the opening of this hotel. So there are dinners, there's parties, there's everything that we're going to.
There's golf. We're taking group pictures.
Every group picture we take, he kicks me out of. He's so mad at you.
If there's any human that he's losing, I happily would leave the picture just so I could share the story

as to why MJ is asking me to get out of the photo.

Yeah, it's wonderful.

It's the dream.

I called radio stations.

I talked about this on the news.

I talked about it on talk shows.

I was surprised you weren't in Last Dance telling this story.

I talked about all this other shit

because nobody can really,

only a few people,

hold on, is it Lionel?

Nope, it's not Lionel.

Only a few people can say

they beat Jordan one-on-one

or whatever the fuck it is.

I can say that.

And we laugh about it to this day.

And he came around to you.

You aimed for the fence.

Oh, yeah.

I'm going to show you my whole self and you're going to like it or not.

MJ, I love you, man.

And I know people who listen are going to tell you this story.

I didn't bring this shit up.

They brought it up.

That's true.

But I'm going to talk about it every chance I get.

Okay, G20.

Yes.

G20 comes out April 10th, streaming on Prime Video. Viola Davis, Academy Award winner.
Fuck all that. She's an EGOT.
Is she an EGOT? She is an EGOT. She deserves to be.
A lot of people say she has an EGOT. I was like, no, she doesn't have an EGOT.
She is an EGOT. There's a difference.
Had you known her before this movie? I had known her before. We lived near each other.
Hold on, is that Lionel? No, it's not Lionel. We've always had an admiration for one another.
And ABC together, you know, the show, my show. So I just always had love for her and she always had love for me.
And I get a call, hey, Viola wants you as her husband. Not come read this, come do this.
I had a meeting with the director and the director was like, I've never cast a movie like this before. I've never had someone tell me that this is who they want.
This is my husband. Yeah.
I was like, wow. Yeah, that's awesome.
And so that's how it all began. So she's the U.S.
president. You're the first man.
You guys go down to South Africa for the G20 summit and you bring your kids. Yes.
And then it's Die Hard. yeah so there's some bad guys Tony Starr who I fucking love from yeah

from

yeah

from

yeah

from

yeah

from

yeah

from

yeah

from africa for the g20 summit and you bring your kids yes and then it's diehard yeah so there's some bad guys tony star who i fucking love from the boys do you watch the boys we have a table read because we shoot this entirely in cape town for six months and i was like who the fuck is this dude with this australian accent or this new zealand accent i was like i kind of like him he's cool and we shoot the movie he kicks my ass i kick his ass i'm home nine months later. I'm doing some ADR.
And our director, Patricia, it was like, yeah, Anthony, the movie's looking great. We got this great buzz from Tony and his show.
I was like, what show is Tony on? First off, when we were doing scenes together, she would say Anthony. And we would all turn to her and be like, huh? Right, right.
And she's like, oh, let me do this. I'll call you by your name, Anthony Starr.

So every time she was an Anthony Starr,

I would say, huh?

Because you're a star.

I'm a star.

That's right.

And I have no idea who the Southern motherfucker is.

Yeah.

So I was like, she's talking to me.

And she didn't notice his name.

I was like, oh, my bad.

So that still became my running joke.

So she was like, yeah, Anthony Starr,

you know, he has a show with the boys.

I was like, who the fuck is he on the boys?

I watch the boys all the time.

I was just watching it before I came here.

Yeah. She's Superman.
I was, get the fuck out of here. Because he just looks so different.
We were doing press all day yesterday. I told him, I would say, hey, Tony, I had no idea you were who the fuck you were.
Homelander. Yeah, he's Homelander.
I said, I had no idea who the fuck you were when we were working together. Even though you're a fan of the boys.
Yes. And is so funny.
And he was like, what? I was like, dog, when I watch you on The Boys, you're seven feet tall to me, motherfucker. Yeah.
You're a fucking superhero. I was like, the way you are on that motherfucking show, it's not you.
Right. That's not who I worked with.
Smoking mirrors, right. And he was like, yeah, man.
Yeah, out of context. And it's a testament to who he is as an actor.

What he does on The Boys, the fact that that dude doesn't want an Emmy.

I mean, what he's doing on The Boys is the bad guy and you feel bad for him sometimes.

Yes, you do.

It's like when I saw Fela on Broadway and I went backstage to meet the cast and I was looking for the dude that played Fela.

And I forget his name, but I'm talking to him.

And as I'm talking to him, I keep looking behind him and looking around, trying to find a dude before he leaves and shit. And then I realized it's him.
And then when I left, I was like, oh my God. Because he was a small demure dude, but as Fela on stage, this motherfucker was larger than the fucking theater that they were in on Broadway.
But when I went to meet him, he's just a regular dude. And I was like, this motherfucker's phenomenal.
Yeah, he's a magician. That's why I feel about Anthony Starks as motherfucking Homelander on The Boys.
So, yeah, it looks fucking awesome, by the way. It is, man.
The trailer is outrageously good. Viola and I are ex-military, and it's a big action film.
You know, terrorists take over the G20 Global Summit that we're at. We end up kicking ass and getting our ass kicked throughout the film.
Yeah, she's doing a ton of ass kicking. Wait till you see it.
You're going to be like, God damn. She's an action star.
She is. It was amazing to be a part of and amazing to watch.
Well, Anthony, I adore you. I have so much fun when I get to be around you.
Yeah, this was great. We didn't get Lionel, but that's all right.
I know. TBD.
You'll let us know if he calls you back. I'm going to call him again.
See if he's going to pick up again. He's really going to be worried.
Let me he's really gonna be worried did he send a text nope he didn't send a text you see how many he had to scroll through in the last two hours I'm gonna call again let's see if Lionel Richie's gonna pick up he never picks up the phone though he's earned the right not to pick up the phone I've only spoken to him on the phone maybe twice in all the years that I've met him but You had the third time to be online. But I know where he lives.
I know where he works. Your call has been forwarded to voicemail.
The person you're trying to reach is not available. This motherfucker saw this call and sent me the voicemail.
It only rang three times. Oh.
It only rang three times. He might be in the middle of...
Hey, man, you better be shooting the voice right now, Lionel Richie. I'm still doing this podcast two and a half hours later.
I don't know how the hell

Dax Shepard got me fucking do this podcast

for two and a half hours. It's only supposed to be for 40 minutes.

But we're still trying to reach you.

And we're not going to end this interview until

we talk to you. Lionel, please

call me back. You're not letting me out of the room until you

call back. I love you, Lionel.

Well, we've done all we can.

We've done all that can be done.

We really have.

You know, we're going to do a fact check for this episode next week or in a couple weeks. So by then, he'll probably have called you back and you can relay what happens.
Yeah, see what happens. We'll see.
I did that with Oprah on Jimmy's show once. And she picked up? She didn't pick up.
No! We can't. I don't want to be wasting my calls.
Yeah, exactly. There are only a certain amount of calls people like that pick up from you.
Even selfishly for me, I don't want that bridge to be burned on my behalf. Anthony, adore you.
Thanks for coming. Thank you.
Nice meeting you, Mark. Yeah, very nice to meet you.
This was so fun. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.
and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours.
Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again. So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names, about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph.
My hope is that people will finish an episode of reclaimlaiming and feel like they filled their tank up.

They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.

Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.

You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. He is an armchair expert, but he makes mistakes all the time.
Thank God Monica's here. She's gotta let him have the facts.
You have to pretend this is going to be a big challenge. Okay.
You have to do your best acting of your life. You have to pretend you don't know I wore this outfit yesterday.
Great outfit. Oh, really good job.
Moving on. Next thing.
We're on the wrong set. There's some cheesy sayings.
Is that a new outfit? I really like it. I was wearing it.
Well, now you're so good. Wow, this is really good.
Now I'm convinced you didn't see me yesterday. I saw you.
I see you. There are some corny sayings on sets.
Yeah. Some of them I like them.
Which one's your favorite? So if you're like filming, you're filming four scenes that day and you're going to be in Crosby's bedroom. And then the next scene is going to room.
Uh-huh. You like do the scene, they yell cut.
You don't really know what they're saying at the monitor. Are we going to go again? Yep.
Do we get it right? And then occasionally 80s will go, okay, we're on the wrong set. That means we did it.
It's time to leave the bedroom. And go to the next set.
And I like that one. My favorite.
Yeah. My favorite set term is martini shot.
Oh, sure. That's the last shot of the day.
And do you know the origin of that one? They'd probably get martinis. I think specifically Hitchcock would always have a martini.
During the last shot of the day. During the last setup.
Yeah. Yeah.
So if you're like checking in, if you have friends who are on set and you're like, how much longer do you have? We're on the martini. We're on the martini.
It's like what you want to hear. I have a bit of anxiety about this fact check.
I know. This is so much to get through.
We have a lot to get through, but we can't do it all today. Okay.
You just have to take, you just have to have peace. Okay, I hope people are patient with me if there's multiple Hawaii updates.
Over time. Over that they're being leaked out, yeah.
Yeah, because— You had a trip. We both had trips.
I have a big—people think I went to New York. I'm trying—yeah, that didn't get through, right? No.
Yes, okay, right. You did not go to New York.
Yes, I had a trip planned for New York. Then White Lotus.

Yeah, because we had a whole conversation about Buddhism.

And I said, oh, no, what am I going to do?

I'm about to go to New York.

That's not a place for me to be very Buddhist.

And you said, you should be Buddhist when you get back.

And I first delayed my trip a day.

Yeah.

And I was like, I'll just need to get my work done, and then I'll feel good.

I'll feel ready to go.

Yes.

And then I still didn't and I canceled my trip. And you know what's interesting is when you announced that to me, at first I was like, I didn't like it for you.
Yeah. Because I was worried your anxiety got the best of you.
Like you had some anxiety and I wanted you to have that fun trip. And I know you love New York.
Yes, the most. But now on the other side of it, I think you listened to yourself.
I did. And it was the right thing to do.
It was the right thing to do. And you still had your spectacular trip with Callie.
I had a little girl's trip with Callie, couple day trip that was, that yes, we will talk about over the next 10 weeks. Over cue, ending cue two.

That was so, so delightful and fun.

And that was already on the books.

I was going to do both.

And it just felt, it didn't feel, I just knew.

I was like, it's not right.

I'm not supposed to go run around the city for the next four days.

And I just need to like be for a little bit.

Are you so selfish that you would have preferred that the flight crashed on the way to New York? Just so you could say, oh my God, I knew. How dare you? I knew not to take that flight.
No. I bet there's someone that's bad enough.
That's really. It's as bad as it gets.
That's as bad of a person. If you have that thought, I'm not judging.
Right. Because Buddhists don't do that.
Right. But you need to get some help.
You need to get yourself into therapy quick. Well, you would definitely if you canceled the flight and then you saw on the news it crashed, you would have an enormous burst of gratitude.
Relief. Yes.
But not like, oh, I knew it. And I might.
Okay. I wonder if there would be a part of me that's, oh, my God, I have powers.
Yes, you would. Everyone would.
Well, you wouldn't. I don't know that you'd say you have powers, but you'd say, well, now I have to really take seriously that the universe sends me signals.
Yeah. And I need to listen.
Remember, there's a famous actress that I thought of at random. And we just got resolution on that last week.
I know. It was diabetes related.
It was Michelle Trachtenberg. Yeah.
Very sad. Very, very sad.
And it, yeah, seems like it was a diabetes complication, which I hate to do this. This seems really flippant, but that's a ding, ding, ding.
Oh, no. I know, because this is for Anthony Anderson.
Oh, and he's diabetic. And we talk a lot about it and how complications are really serious.
Yes, diabetes. I just sent Aaron ding, ding, ding.
I just sent Aaron. There is a remix.
A DJ made a mix of the diabetes commercials. Wow.
And it's pretty good. Maybe I'll play it later at later at some point in this.
Speaking of something else bad, I'm sure you heard about Eric Dane. That he has.
ALS. Yeah, I've seen him.
It's heartbreaking. That's so sad.
That's in the news now. Yeah.
I figured he might have known from meetings, but like. No, it really breaks my heart because when he was here, obviously, he didn't know what it was yet right his arm was um kind of atrophying and he thought he had a virus and he seemed specialist and um yeah it's a real fucking bummer it really breaks my heart i hate it I know.
Yeah. Did you say anything about the Pope yesterday?

The Pope died?

I thought it was today.

Oh, God.

No, I meant jinxing his death.

Huh?

I meant did you jinx his death?

Oh, oh, oh, no.

Well, kind of.

We had David Sedaris on and we were talking about the Pope.

Okay.

Although he was already quite ill at that time.

He had already been hanging on by a bit of a thread.

Oh, no.

But is, so he died on Easter?

Today he died.

He made it through the rising.

I guess if I were a Pope and I had him my way and they said, you're going to die this month.

Yeah.

I'd like to go on Friday, on Good Friday.

On Good Friday when Jesus died.

When Jesus, yeah, passed.

Passed.

You say passed.

Excuse me.

I passed.

Be respectful.

Yeah, so then you're- That's a lot of doom and gloom, though. Sorry, but this is life.
Life is happy and sad all at once. You're right, you're right, you're right.
All right. Okay.
Okay, we can move on to something happy. So I did take my trip.
Yes, you did. It took Lincoln Delta and I Hawaii eight days.
Yeah. You did a solo trip with your girls.
The headline is incredible trip. Great.
I'll remember it. I'll be on my deathbed and I'll go.
I did that. I'm proud of you.
Okay. So that's interesting.
So you're going to say. I, and he wouldn't like that, but I'll tell you why it's okay to like it.

Yeah.

Or why I think it's okay to like it.

Because I was talking with a friend from AA, and there are things in life that give me esteem, self-esteem, and there are things that take away self-esteem.

Yes.

And so, and they're, you know, they're pretty correlated with challenge.

Sure.

Right? Sure. But it was just an incredible trip.
It definitely had its challenges. I might have been a little naive.
Okay. Okay.
And then I was wrestling with that. What were you expecting? Okay, because this is an expectations lesson as well.
I guess I was misled because when Kristen has gone away to film, which has happened throughout their childhood, it always goes really well. I do very well with the two of them by myself.
And I was underestimating, like, we have our routine. They go to places.
They're in their house. They can separate.
And so I was a little naive. And I've taken trips with them solo.
Yes, individually. And those are truly kind of effort.
Yeah. It's just like being with a buddy.
But this was, you know, there were days where one of them was mad at the other. Sure.
For the whole day. The first few days.
And I started getting a little nervous. Yeah.
And then I was. And this is kind of funny.
This is one of the many stories. So my mother would have.
I know what she would have done because she did it many times.

We'd be on a vacation. We'd be acting like assholes.
Also give me so much fucking respect for my mother's whole single parenthood, single parent, three kids. Oh my God.
God bless Laura Lebeau. I sent her a message going, you know what? I need to just tell you, you're, you're a warrior and I admire you.

Yeah.

But her move was,

guys,

we're going home tomorrow morning.

Oh. There were a lot of those speeches.
There were threats. Yes.
And by the way, they weren't threats. They weren't empty threats.
My mom, I almost said my wife. Very Freudian split.
My mom, we had some rules in the house. There was no begging, period.

You already know this about it.

She did not play begging.

And we left many places where we had put a lot of effort into it.

And we had driven there.

And we didn't get our shit together.

She said, this happens again.

We're going home.

And we did.

She never made empty threats.

Wow.

So I'm remembering, like, first of all, I'm feeling that.

I'm like, I'm going to tell them. We're going home.
We're going to go home. Uh-huh.
And then I'm saying, you must do a little, you must grow a little bit from what you were given. Okay, yeah.
And so it was a moment where it was like, we tried to go snorkeling, maybe the third attempt. One of them always had a thing.
I got stabbed by a sea urchin. Yeah.
And it was another failed attempt. And then the fight.
And then I was in my head. I'm like, I'm telling him we're going to go home.
And then I'm like, I'm going to meditate. I'm going to sit on this lawn chair and I'm going to meditate because I want to be the best version of myself.
And I am going to confront this. I am not going to have five days more of fighting, but I got to do it in a very healthy way.
And I'm about 12 minutes into my 20-minute meditation. And while I'm meditating, I hear a blood-curdling screaming.
And I'm thinking, I'm like, oh, fuck, some parents got to do someone's deal with something. And the scream is getting louder and louder and louder until it's obviously five feet from me.
And I open my eyes and I look and my sweet little Delty is fucking covered in blood. Like, I don't even know where to begin to guess.
That is so scary. Yes.
And she has at least four hotel employees trailing her because they're obviously scared for her. God knows what liability fears they're having.
Oh want us to go in an ambulance to be, you know, I mean, virtually they want us to be as safe as humanly possible, but I know my Delta, what she needs immediately is everyone to leave. Yep.
Yep. Yep.
Yep. She doesn't like that.
Embarrassment would hurt more than, right. The attention hurts.
She got that from me. She got that from you.
So, you know, it's okay. Come here, you know, trying to get her calm, calm, calm.
Are you looking for where? No, I know right now we need to like, we need to go from 15 to 10 so that I can then say, okay, mama, let me take a look and just see what we're dealing with. So as it turned out, it was just a lip, but it was good enough that as she was screaming and crying, it was like on her arms and whatever.
I knew it was serious. But also, you never really know, right? Because they kind of have this reaction to most every injury.
So you weren't scared? I wasn't scared. Really? No, I'm like, this is an emergency level trauma.
The bleeding has stopped. We don't need stitches.
But you weren't worried about like a hemorrhage? I wasn't. You weren't watching enough ER, but okay.
Yeah, had I just done 35 hours of the pit in ER maybe. And we get her all calmed up.
Now, this is where I'll give D-Money a lot of credit. As the next few days were on, and especially day three after this thing, I'm looking at'm looking at her in the sunshine.
I go, sweetheart. Well, and she told me.
She goes, Daddy, I didn't even put my hands out. She fell.
She slipped on the concrete next to the pool. And she said, I didn't even put my hands out, which I kind of was like, I bet she put them out a little bit.
She's not lying. She felt directly on her face.
So a few days later,

she had a black and blue cheek,

black and blue chin. She

whacked her face so bad.

Anywho,

I did make this speech.

It was a very gentle version.

And everyone got their shit together.

It was a big turn.

We still had stuff. You're gonna

have stuff. But there was a reset, and I really appreciated it.
What did you say? I said, it is very hard for me to be on this trip with one of you really mad at any given time. One of you is very, very mad.
And I said, and I want to be able to take you on these trips of moms working. And I have to be honest, next year comes around.
If it continues like this, I'm not sure I'm going to take this trip again. Not we're going home, still a threat.
I don't know. People probably think that was bad parenting.
Whatever. They did hear, oh, we're not entitled to these trips if we act like assholes.
He's saying I can't. I'm basically saying I can't handle it.
Okay, so that's a great reset. Let's not even talk about just single parent, the sunblock routine when you're in Hawaii.
Because this is like every 40 minutes, I got to slather their whole body. Almost my full time.
I'm glad you did it. Oh, I did.
I'm like, if I bring them home sunburned, that's a wrap. That's hard to defend that one.
Yep. We go to dinner that night, and I'm now feeling, I'm feeling like a failure.
I'm like, I should be able to coordinate some kind of peaceful fun. We're in paradise at a beautiful hotel.
You know, it should be easy. In quotes.
Should be. And so I'm, I'm not going to blame a 12 and a 10 year old.
I'm like, I'm not managing something correctly. And I was so relieved that as we were at these dinners,

we were eavesdropping.

And I want to tell you,

shit's going down on all family vacations.

That was comforting.

That's standard family vacation.

People fight.

You think you're going to go to paradise

and everyone's going to be so grateful the whole time.

That's not what happens.

It's not how it works.

No, you're in a smaller space.

Yeah.

You have to compromise on schedules way more

and you get what you sell. When I went on my girls trip.
Yes, you and Callie. Yeah, we went to Napa.
Wine country, if you don't know. We went to wine country, yes.
California. And food country.
Well, exactly. And turns out shopping country a little bit.
Shopping country. They had some really cute shopping.
We were just there for two nights. It was a quick trip, but we did so much.
And we stayed at the Auberge du Soleil. I don't know if that's how you spell it.
I love a hotel that I can't pronounce. Oh, yeah.
And I love an Auberge hotel. That's a line of hotels.
I've talked about the one in Austin before, Commodore Perry. Yeah, very cool.
Gorgeous. Very cool.
We have visited you there. Yeah.
Yeah, and it's beautiful. And this one was, it was so stunning and exquisite.
Well, they got my attention because they lent you guys an electric G-Wagon. Well, not us.
They have that. They have a fleet of Mercedes, different Mercedes that they loan out to the guests.
You just have to sign a waiver and you can take it out. Yeah, in wine country.
I know, which is a little like, wow. I was like, this is so nice.
Because things are a bit, things aren't like five minutes away from each other. You do have to drive a little bit.
And it's a pain to Uber everywhere or to have a driver. And we only did one winery.
So we weren't like bopping around from winery to winery. But anyway, it was such a nice amenity.
And I did feel. And I urged you to make the car.
The car will do a 365 degree turn like a tank. Yeah.
And I really wanted you guys to do that. And you said you might find a parking lot and try it.
And then you told me you didn't. We didn't have time.
You definitely had time to do a 360, but I understand. We didn't have time for that.
But it was, we were like excited to try the G-Wagon. Callie drove it and she did a great job.
And turns out there were a couple, well, I ran into many Arm Cherries on the trip. And again, everyone was so incredible.
One, one I had a kind of regretful encounter with, not regretful, but we, Callie and I were in the little like shopping area, St. Helena.
And we went into this little coffee shop just to get a coffee. And we were waiting for the coffee.
The place was pretty crowded, but like, we didn't think that much of it. We were waiting for the coffee and there was an armchair sitting there.
And she said, Hey, Monica, you know, I love the show, whatever. And she, and I was like, Oh, are you, are you from here? And they weren't, they were, I forgot.
Oh God, I'm sorry. I forget.
I want to say Chicago. That sounds right.
Cause of Rob. Yeah.
Um, and they, and she was like, no, we're just on the ship. Got to, had to get the English muffin.
And I was like, yeah. And she like kind of pointed to her food a little bit, but I didn't really know what she was talking about.
But of course- Well, I would have thought, oh, this place is known for their English muffin. I better get one.
Well, yeah, but it didn't, I wasn't getting that vibe. I was just like, oh, okay.
Yeah. And then I did feel embarrassed because I should know.
Yeah. I should know about English muffins and fancy foods and stuff.
So anyway, I ran out of there as fast as I could. Okay.
And then. Covering your head in shame.
The next day when we were about to, when we were leaving, the morning we took out the G wagon. Yeah.
We went to Yonville, which is the food area. Sure.
Where French Laundry where French laundry is and all these other, Bouchon, all these things. The person working at the front desk, Phoebe.
Oh, there we go. And I will circle back to Phoebe.
She told Callie that there was a place in Yonville known for their English muffins and that we should go. And it was called like mini, according to Callie, mini Modell, but I don't know if that's right.
She got it right. Yeah.
So we go there and then we're in line and Callie was like, oh, I think that coffee shop we went to was just Modell. Like this is a version of that, like another little small version.
And I was like, this makes total sense what the arm cherry was saying. So I was right.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. Yeah.
Okay. So anyway, this arm cherry was in the know.
Apparently it's like Oprah's favorite English muffin. Oh, wow.
And it was insane. It was.
Oh my God. It was so good.
Poor Callie. She's gluten-free.
She has celiac. So she couldn't have it.
Yeah. Did she even play the game in her head like, oh, sourdough's got less? No.
She didn't even make it. She said, when she was looking at it, she was like, if I was going to cheat, she's like, which I never would.
Because it's not like. Mine.
Yeah. And a lot of people.
I can live with my. Yeah.
She'll be on the ground. Yeah.
She's like, that might be, that would be the one, even though she's not going to do it.

Anyway, she got some for Max.

Max loved them.

Oh, he did.

And he's a chef for people who don't know.

Exactly.

He's a chef.

So this all circles back, right?

Okay.

This is relevant because when we first got to the hotel, there was two like freshly batched cocktails with my name and Callie's name. Yeah.
And they were called Cherry on Top. Yeah.
And I was like, is this a weird sim? Is it a wink? Or is it a wink? Is it a sim or is it a wink? I don't know, but I don't want to like- You want to mind your ego and not assume. Exactly, exactly.
I was like, I think it's, I don't think so. Get over yourself.
Yeah. The word cherry existed before your podcast.
Exactly. Yeah, yeah.
And I had two little cocktail glasses with two like cherry. It was so, so cute.
And also the cocktail was incredible. Oh, did you text Bert? Oh, fuck.
I got to text Bert. You need to.
I need to text Bert. I guess it'll be a three-way text, but.
He DM'd me, Bert Kreischer. Bert Kreischer.
But he's not allowed to be on a text with a woman, which is hilarious. I have to read this.
So I have to be on any communication between the two of you. You do.
What would be incredible is if you guys did start a huge affair and it was just in front of me and I'm like, well, I don't know how this helped. Now I just have to observe this whole thing.
What if because I was there, he was felt free to just go nuts and say so much dirty shit. Yeah.
Like I think about your body all the time. What did I say? It was all the same.
Well, Dax was on there. It was fine.
Okay. Anyways, go ahead.
Yeah. Okay.
So yeah, when Bert was on this show, we had a whole cocktail conversation. We told each other what to have.
He got, I told him to get a bee's knees. He told me to get a shot of Fernet.
And Campari. And then also separately a Campari spritz.
Okay. Then Jess, Anna, and I went to Little Dom's and I did get the Fernet.
We all had it. So I posted a picture of this.
And he liked it. And did he even respond? Yes.
Oh, good. He responded.
He says, I have to get you drunk on my cooking show. Lots of exclamation points.
And then he responded, that sounded creepy. Where's Dax? He said, that sounded creepy.
We have to get drunk on my cooking show, which is very, very funny. Um, yeah, he's, I like that he's aware of not being creepy.
I think that's a great thing. I do too.
Anywho, so I need to send Bert that cocktail.

He'll love it.

Yes. But anyway, so I was like, well, maybe it was a wink, but probably not.
Probably just something sweet they do. And still, that could be the case.
But then there was this cute little card they wrote. And I didn't really understand it at first.
Yeah. Because there were two hats for Callie and I that they had given us.
And then there was a little note that said something along the lines of, here's some hats so you can be, in quotes, a new Monica. And then I forgot that we had just talked about hats on the fact check.
And that you're a new Monica. I felt like a new Monica when I wore them.
So we did have some Arm Cherry fans who worked at the Aubergine. And it was really, really sweet.
And I do believe one of them was Phoebe. Okay.
And she was just so lovely. So I wanted to shout out Phoebe.
Oh, and then, oh, yes, because Callie went to the front. I slept in on the last day.
Oh, good for you. And Callie went to the front and she was doing all these arrangements for the car and this.
And she said, so who did that cocktail? And then she said, Phoebe got really red. And then Callie was like, oh no, she got worried that she felt that you're I was embarrassed or something.
Sure. And so she Monica won't leave the room.
That's why she's not here. She's really upset.
It has nothing to do with the fact that she sleeps 12 hours a night.

She's a lazy bum.

Yeah.

So she, so, and Callie said, it was just so sweet and we are so appreciative.

Yeah. Monica loved it.

That's not why she's not here.

Yeah.

And then, and Phoebe said, well, we have, we have, there are a few fans who work here.

And then Callie said, oh, it's just so nice for me because I've been around the whole ride and it's just really sweet for me to see that.

Yeah, yeah.

And she said, well, she talks about you a lot too.

She was like, oh boy, okay.

Have you tried the 360 degree turn in the, I said 365 degree, didn't I?

I'm just now remembering.

That's how many days are in it. She was like, oh, boy.
Okay. Have you tried the 360-degree turn in the— I said 365-degree, didn't I?

I'm just now remembering.

Oh, I don't remember.

That's how many days are in a year.

There's only 360 degrees in a circle, though.

How embarrassing.

Some gearhead's like, what the fuck?

Upset.

Someone's upset.

Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare. Okay, I had to get involved with something.
And I'm wondering, I think I finally did it right. Okay.
And it was during one of, but this was post-reset. Okay.
This was fine. Okay.
We found this like very, very desolate beach. Nobody's there.
We pull over. The girls are playing in the thing.
Then it's time to leave. We're walking back.
Delta steps on a thorn. She's barefoot.
She then goes and takes a breather. Oh, nice.
So now Lincoln and I are just sitting in the car. And I'm looking in my rearview mirror and there's a woman walking with two little kids through this little dirt parking lot.
And when I say little, this little boy is like two and a half. A little blonde, cute little boy.
And I hear, get away from that car. And I look, and she grabs him by the neck.
Oh, no. And drags his little body.
And I'm going to get out. Oh, boy.
This is complicated. Right? Like, there's no, I'm gonna get out oh boy

this is complicated

right

like there's no

I'm not gonna watch

this woman do this

oh no

it was really

Lincoln saw it too

like if I need backup

like it was

it was abusive

it was bad

oh god

and then he tries

to get free

and then she grabs

his head again

and he falls

and then

and so

I rolled down the window

I'm about to get out and then I rolled down the window and I go, no, no, no. Gentle, gentle, gentle, gentle.
It's gentle, gentle, gentle. But also the subtext is, I'm getting out of this car if you don't.
Oh my God. And she let go of his neck and said, come on.
And then she grabbed his hand and started guiding him, which was a huge improvement. Do you think it was a babysitter? No.
You're sure? Yeah, the woman and the boy looked alike. She had some hard miles on her.
Grandma, auntie? No, no, mom, mom, mom. It was rough.
That's scary. I fucking hate that there's little people who are getting treated like that.
I hate it. It's so sad.
That's like the woman I saw outside, Covell, remember, like being so horrible to her daughter. And yeah, I don't know what you're supposed to do.
I know. Because again, we already talked about it, but it's like, I'm not going to say anything that's going to change this woman's behavior for life, obviously.
And in fact, that could probably make it worse. Yeah.
And probably she might take it out on the kid.

Exactly.

And you need to know, however hard you are on me about my aggressive reactions to things,

Lincoln, she will not stand for it.

I like that.

Yeah, it's great.

I'm glad she's like that.

And she was very approving.

Oh, she was.

She was.

She thought I had done it well.

Okay.

So I finally did it in a way no one was mad at me.

Thank you. And she was very approving.
Oh, she was. She was.
She thought I had done it well. So I finally did it in a way no one was mad at me.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, what were you going to do if you got out? Steal him? Put him in your car? Drive away? Keep him? Give him to me? No, but my inclination was to get in front of her face, like, so that she knew, I'm not asking you to stop doing this. It wouldn't have helped.
Well, it would have. She would have.
In the moment. She would have been afraid.
Yes, yes, yes, yes. But I think that will have a negative impact later on.
If we have any social worker listeners, maybe they can tell us what you're supposed to do. I mean, I really don't know what you're supposed to do.
I don't know either. And I just happened to see a lot of stuff.
So I saw this family getting a fight behind us. And it was the way the man was talking to the wife was such a bummer.
And she had no, like, she went like comatose. And then she had to leave the table with one of the boys that was pissing the dad off.
And then I saw a grandpa grab a phone out of a teenager's hand at breakfast. It's so white loaded.
Chuck it on the table. And I was like, holy cow, people are handling their business in certain ways.
And then the anthropologist in me really has to now work through this whole thing where I go like, well, you're assuming your way is the correct way. Yeah.
And clearly people have been raising kids all kinds of way in every kind of culture. Yep.
And I don't want to be high and mighty and self-righteous. Yes.
Yeah, I don't know. I don't know.
It's, but there's a lot of shit going down. People are really rough and, and also, and also going, and people are having a harder time than me.
Right. So that's in the mix.
I'm not stretched to the limit. You know, I'm not, I'm not my mom on vacation where it's like, I can't afford the vacation we're on, but I really want to show my kids the country.
What was tempting is to go all these spoiled rich people, but that's wrong. I was at the shitty hotels, too, and it was gnarly there, too.
You know what

it is? It's hard to raise kids. Adam Grant just had a post.
You would have loved this. I was

debating whether or not to forward it to you. But Adam Grant had another social scientist on that's

done all this work. Oh, I saw it.
You saw it? I almost reposted it. Yeah, and it's just in a

nutshell, it just says kids make your life worse.

There's like-

They reduce happiness.

Yeah.

Now-

They're stats.

Then you get into, though,

you get into the Yuval Harari,

like your narrative self does feel one way

and whether or not you should be happy all the time,

whether that's what you're always servicing,

that's a bigger thing.

But it was interesting that the data

is absolutely consistent and undeniable.

They make your life worse worse yeah so yeah i get but i know for a lot of reasons it's not just like oh because they're annoying it's because there's stress that comes with raising people yes if you if you care at all and they don't act they don't act they don't do what you want them to do they haven out yet. If you tell them a way to be, it doesn't mean they're just going to listen and be that way.
No. Like, it's hard.
And people are their worst selves around their family. I mean, I was just, I was like thinking about all our vacations when you were talking about yours.
And I was like, yeah, we just like yelled at each other. I was just so mean.
Like, I was just such a brat. And, you know, I just remember I was going to New York and I wanted to go to serendipity so bad.
The movie? No, the chocolate shop. So bad.
It was the only thing I wanted to do. And I brought it up every day.
It was like, it was like, we'll go, we'll go. I promise we'll go.
I promise we'll go. And then we go and it's a three hour line.
I was like, well, you, you said this. And they were like, we're not doing this.
And I was like, oh my. And I like could not handle the fact that we were not going to go to serendipity.
Yes. And yes.
Look, it's just like. That's where Lincoln and I's stuff comes up is that we have two know-it-alls in the family who got to make the game plan.
Yeah. And of course, like we get to the airport.
We take a little tram to the airport. It ends at the terminal.
I know that the check-in's inside. I read a sign that's down there.
And I'm like, okay. Okay, well, and I said, even if you're right, it would make the most sense to peek in this one before we walk all the way down.
I read the sign.

And I'm like, okay, I'm seeing that this is me.

Like, this is what it was like to travel with me.

This is what it's like to be around me.

Yeah.

And I deserve this.

Yeah.

And if anyone should be able to figure out how to deal with this, it should be me.

But I don't know how to because I'm the same way. And I'm like, there's the idea of me walking to another terminal that i fucking know united's not inside there yeah which i won't die you'd rather die yeah again i got intellectually no i'm not gonna die if that happens but i'm there's no way i can do that yeah and then i'm like you know okay so we're both this way i'm 50 and i paid for all this does that that not get me the tiebreaker vote? Shouldn't the parent have the fucking tiebreaker? The parent, but not because you paid.
That's where the guy who threw the phone, like that guy's that. He's like, I paid for all this and so everyone better just do what I say.
Yeah, that guy I had diagnosed was, I paid for all this. You better be happy nonstop.
Yeah. Because this is my vacation.
That's what's comfortable for him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So Link and I, you know, and then it's like, what line do you get in for anything? Link and I have a very strong opinion. And it's me.
That's what makes it so hard. But it is tricky because like.
I know more. Listen, I am percentage wise.
I am right more. Well.
I am. You've had more time on earth.
Yes. Yeah.
I should goddamn hope at 50, I know a little more about the world than my 12 year old. Yes.
I would hope so too. Now, this is where I do think you got, you both and kristin are very kind to the kids like you the fact that that's even a thought and i mean i don't have them but i do know i do know me that if like even if i was with your kids if lincoln was like i saw a sign i i would say i would say oh you might be right but we're gonna do this right And that's it.
And that's not right. But that's not going to work.
Well, then she's going to stand there. She's like me.
She'll walk. Okay.
Literally, like this is why it's like it's nuclear assured annihilation. She and I, we're both the type of people that will be like, fine, you guys go do it the wrong way.
I'm going by myself to do it. Now, this is bad, but I'm admitting this to you.
So I know if push comes to shove, she will walk by herself away from us and go to where she thinks it is at. So I have got to prevent that because she's that strong and I love it about her.
I know, but- When she's older, I'll be delighted she- Ish, like there are parts of you as an adult that's like, maybe, you know, I don't know. We could work on.
We could work on. We're working on it.
We are working on it. I know.
And all to say, I was quite proud when I got home of the job I did, even though I did things wrong and everything. Sure, sure.

I do like who I am.

Good, that's good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I like who you are.

It's hard, sometimes it's hard.

But so you never, you're right,

maybe it just wouldn't work.

I tried that way with her for a while.

Yeah.

And I wanna believe I'm smart enough to go,

well, this is what my dad did.

And my dad reaped what he sowed. I said, fine, I don't need you.
Like if I'm going to, if to be with you is to surrender to your will, guess what? I don't need to be with you. So I know I had that in me to walk away from him.
And I know she has it in her too. And I'm not going to let that happen's the driving force behind me going I have to do it differently than my dad did because I know what the result was I was I look I I need her more than she needs me emotionally because I was there no no because I was there I'm like I don't I don't care if I don't talk to my dad for a year, which happened numerous times.
That's way easier on me than it was on him, I'm sure. And if Lincoln didn't talk to me for a year, it would devastate me.
So I have to be realistic. It's like the thing that Bill Gates' therapist finally told him is you're fighting an unfair war.
Your parents are going to love you and never withhold that from you. And you can withhold it for them.
And it's not a fair war. Yes.
And you're going to win. And so that's, that's on the table.
So I, if there's two variables in this equation and one of them has to, to bend, it's gotta be me. Cause it's, it's not going to be her.
I know it. Cause it's, cause I was the same way.
I know, but what was happening with your dad is different than what's happening with you at the airport taking them to the Four Seasons Maui. Like, for real.
So if, I'm just saying, if, like, she did do that, if she was like, I'm not talking to my dad for a month because he wanted to go one way in the airport taking us on a trip, Yeah. She needs to be straightened out a little bit.
But. That's not fair.
Listen, but I think you have to be realistic about what you're dealing with. I don't think she would.
No, she wouldn't. Yeah.
That's my point. It also helps that she's a girl and I'm a boy.
There's something there that is helpful that my dad and I did. My dad and I had that thing and then mail on mail.
So it was like. Yeah, and he wasn't around.
So I only saw him once in a while. That's what I'm saying.
This is such a different scenario. Once a month, he'd tell me what the program was.
And I'm like, according to who? You didn't respect him because of his actions. Yep.
So then why would you listen to him if he's saying this thing? I just know, and you've seen it in me. I can destroy myself and another person.

Yep.

I have that switch.

You do.

I do.

And I think I gave it to my beautiful little girl.

That's okay.

And so I just have to do everything in my power

to not be my dad. Yeah.
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And so I just have to do everything in my power to not be my dad. Yeah.
And, and, um, and surrender because I want to, I want to be with her and I don't want her to write me off. But can I push back a little? Yeah.
I think you potentially, uh, we don't know, there's no way to go back in time, but you potentially wouldn't have, it wouldn't be such a struggle for you now if you have been practicing since you were 12. If you have been put in the position to really start practicing that skill for that long.
You've been, like, she's better off early starting to understand, you know what? Sometimes I'm going to have to surrender. She does all the time.
And so here's what's great. Because I don't get in these wars with her, she will come to that.
She'll calm down and she comes to it. So she has built a lot of trust with me.
If I thought she never corrected her behavior and she was just my way or the highway and fuck everyone and then I don't even care and I don't redirect and I don't feel bad and I don't come say sorry that's one thing that's not at all what I'm dealing with right it's in the moment I can have a power struggle with her yeah or I can have the faith that she will recognize she was being really bullheaded and she'll apologize which is 90% of the time what happens and And I wasn't given that leash. Yeah.

My mother did.

So my mother knew how to deal with me.

Obviously, I never had any power struggles with my mom.

Right.

And Lincoln and Kristen knows how to handle Lincoln in a way that I just, I can't.

Well, Kristen is fine to walk to the other side.

Yep, exactly.

She's not, it doesn't bother her. And in my defense, Delta has things.
Yeah. They just don't bother me.
Exactly. And they bother Kristen.
Yes. Because they're her thing.
Yeah. But in life, both kids, every person are going to encounter people.
Yeah. Who trigger that thing.
And it's good to have practice. Of course.
There's two things,

and Kristen always is pointing this out to me,

and it's very, very true.

So there's, I'm not saying she's ADHD.

I'm not saying that.

She's not been diagnosed with that.

She goes through school just fine.

She does not have a disorder.

She's doing great.

But I just had Tim Simons on Mom's Car with Aaron. Oh, nice.
And it was so fun. And he got diagnosed very early with ADHD, and he knows a lot about it.
And he was telling me some very interesting things about it. One of them is there's really common comorbidities with ADHD.
One of them is an overactive sense of justice, like a really strong, like it drives you nuts. And then self-abuse when you've erred.
Like self-flagellation. Because you were so confident.
I think that's part of it. It's like there's such a double down that if you're wrong, you can't just be like, oops, because you made a whole to-do.
Well, that's one of them. But then there's just simple mistakes.
Like I tripped. Yeah.
I made a mess. I spilled the thing.
I said something I shouldn't have said. Those kind of things, Delta can shrug right off.
Those kind of things Lincoln will ruminate on for a very long time. Like very self-punishing.
Yeah. So I relate a lot to both both of those.
Yeah, me too. And so I know, I know what it feels like.
So my, my thing, it's not like I won't listen to authority as much as like, if I have evaluated something as unjust, like I'm a human too, with a brain. And we have two different opinions.
And it is unjust that yours just overrides mine. That was such a hard thing for me.
It happened with teachers. It happened with stepdads.
It happened with my brother. It was like, we're equal.
I don't care that you're older. I don't care that you have a degree.
I don't care. Like I'm a human and you're a human and we both are intelligent and I have one opinion, you have another.
And you're telling me I have to let go of mine because what? Because you have some status, whether it's age or this or that. That was so painful for me.
I'm not excusing it, but I do know it was extremely painful for me. Sure.
But you can see now you just said it. You just said it like 15 minutes ago that it's objectively true.
You having so many more years and knowledge and experience in life does earn you that. It does earn you.
It does. But it does.
And I'm looking at it from that also mature point of view. Yeah.
It's just hard. It's a lot.
Yeah. It's hard to, I think it's hard

to be a parent.

It is.

And then,

and then on the other side

is the reward of it

is also,

it's equally matched.

Yeah.

Let's see if we can find

the thing that Adam Grant said.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah.

And then I'll find

the diabetes song.

Oh, great.

I can't wait.

I can't believe

you don't want to hear that.

It's easy for me to find

because of course

I sent it to Aaron.

The last child

leaves the house

on average parents

Let's get it. I can't wait.
I can't believe you don't want to hear that. It's easy for me to find because, of course, I sent it to Aaron.
The last child leaves the house, on average, parents get happier, don't they? The best data suggests happiness increases when the kids leave home and the dog dies. You go to some parents and you go, do children make you happy? And parents will say, oh, of course they do.
They make me happier than anything else.

We know from tons of data that those parents are wrong, that children, in fact, have a small but negative impact on the happiness of their parents, but their parents don't know it. Those

data tell you something about parenthood and happiness. There may be many reasons to have

children, but making yourself more happy in the moment is not one of them. Yeah, really good.
Okay, Anthony. So he achieved a Guinness World Record by successfully hitting a golf ball 106 feet with the world's longest usable golf club.
And it's really important people take the time to watch a clip of him doing it because you're not possibly imagining the golf club being as long as it actually is. Yeah, it's pretty wild how long it is.
And it's like curved. Yes, it looks like he is fishing off of a pier.
Yes, it does. Yes, it's crazy.
And that was in November 2018. Yeah, okay.
Okay. I don't think that'll be beaten.
I don't either. God willing.
Okay, the record for the father-son pulling fire trucks. That was in Coburg.
So two Coburg strong men won't be celebrating Father's Day with a fishing trip or a ball game this weekend. Instead, Reverend Kevin Fast and his son Jacob Fast will attempt to pull two fire trucks.
The goal is to set a new Guinness World Record for heaviest vehicle pulled by two people. The Saturday, June 18th event is a fundraiser for Habitat for Humanity.
Oh, that's nice. A cause Reverend Fast became involved in last summer when he pulled a house 11.95 meters.
He pulled a house? Yes.

He's also well-known for setting a Guinness World Record in 2009 for pulling a 416,229 pound aircraft in 2009 at CFB Trenton.

Oh my goodness.

Okay.

Does Lionel Richie have a room in his house that's a replica of the room he originally

wrote his music in?

Now, I don't know about that, but there is an article on Architectural Digest about his

I'm trying to do here is show travel, says the entertainer who's always on the road. And finally, I found a place where I can apply everything I see in other countries.
These disparate ideas, he trickles back via photographs sent by email to the masters who pull my ideas together, a team comprising interior designers, Peter Schifondo and J. Jonathan Joseph, and until his recent death, architect Robert Atrey.
A case in point of Richie's inspired wanderlust is a subtle Palomino hue of the building's exterior, first spotted on a cardinal's house he saw on a hilltop in Lake Como. And then there's the high gloss, pale yellow Venetian plaster on the walls of the capacious living room inspired by Richie's visit to Poland's presidential palace.
The mirrored effect of the walls was so beautiful, I had to ask, how do you do this? With several layers of paint, buffed and polished like a stone, he learned. It's not easy to come by, but once it's done, the room can have a single chair and it works.
He pauses. The things that inspire me, he laughs, were done years ago with cheap labor and materials.
Trying to recreate them has cost me a bloody fortune. Lionel said bloody? Yeah.
Still in this movable feast of the imagination, it's the personal touches that mesmerize. A bronze sculpture depicting Richie's hand intertwined with that of his father.
Frame letters from Booker T. Washington and George Washington Carver to Richie's grandmother.
A faculty member at the Tuskegee Institute in Alabama where the singer grew up. Two paintings in the billiard room by jazz trumpeter and pal Miles Davis.
The kinetic abstracts, brilliant, complicated, twisted, and turned in every way, just like Miles, are signed on the back to the best from the best. With its high ceilings, dramatic staircases.
I wish I could sign from the best. You can't.
No. Well, you can, but you shouldn't.
Why can't I? I'm not the best at anything. You need to be the best at something to sign the best.
You have to be so the best. You have to be Miles.
Miles Davis. Yeah.
He can easily sign that. I think he's the only one.
No. Coltrane could have done it.
Eddie Van Halen. There's a bunch of people.
No. I wouldn't want Van Halen too.
Eddie Van Halen. With its high ceilings, dramatic staircases, sweeping promenades, and international panache, Richie's Manor— Jordan.
What? Jordan. Jordan could.
Yeah. Ding, ding, ding.
Anthony Anderson's story about Jordan. Yeah.
Richie's Manor house could be anywhere in the world, which is why he planned it. I call the rooms in my house destinations.
If I want to be in a suite in Paris, I go upstairs to the bedroom and close the door. Italy, I walk outside to the stone path bordering the property and look back to see the Cardinal's house.
With my career, I have to get on a plane every other week. So when people ask, where do you go for vacation? I say I go home.
I want to be a guest at his home. Me too.
But also the way he talked about it, we don't know the answer, but... Sounds likely.
It sounds likely. Okay.
When did the police get back together for their last tour? After not being together, they reunited in early 2007 for a world tour, which lasted through 2008. I heard Sting talking about that once on a talk show, and he said it was perfect.
Within the first 20 minutes of the rehearsal, he and Stuart Copeland were in such a big fight, they were going to cancel the tour or something like that. He's like, it was directly back to how the band always was.
Oh, that's funny. Okay, he mentioned elephantitis.
He said when all the lower extremities are like one size. Now, it's called elephantiasis.
Elephantiasis. Elephantiasis.
It's not elephantitis. It's elephantiasis.
That's how we like to colloquially say it. Elephantitis.
Elephantitis of the nuts. Yeah, exactly.
It's a condition characterized by significant swelling, primarily in the legs, arms, or genitals, caused by a parasitic infection of the lymphatic system. The swelling is due to the buildup of lymphatic fluid, often leading to a disfigured appearance, hence the name.
Ooh. Ooh, ooh, ooh.
Okay, he was talking about D.C. So he said that was the murder capital of the world then.
Now, several countries and cities consistently rank high in homicide rates. It says it's difficult to pinpoint definitively which one, but okay.

So in 2023, Jamaica had the highest homicide rate. Okay, per capita.

At 49.3 per 100,000 people.

While Ecuador saw a significant increase in its rate to 45.1 per 100,000.

Within Mexico, cities like Colima and Zamora have been reported to have extremely high homicide rates.

Now, as far as the U.S., St. Louis.
Okay. Does Anthony have the record for most appearances on Kimmel? Yes, he does.
He does? Yes. Total of 63 appearances.
They include guest appearance. I can't talk.
These include guest appearances, guest hosting, and co-hosting.

Okay.

63.

Man Who Played Fela on Broadway.

There's two.

Kevin Mambo is one.

And then a name I'll spell.

Okay. First name, S-A-H-R.

Saw her.

And then last name, N-G-A-U-J-A-H. I'm not going to try to pronounce it.
Anyway, that's it. I'm delighted to be back with you.
Me too. It's

been a long time. We have so many stories.
Too many stories. We have for next week.

Good that we don't have more time off. It really is.
All right, love you. Okay, love you.
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