Anthony Anderson

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Speaker 1 Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan Shepard.
I'm joined by Monica Padman and Aaron Michael Weekly. Hello.
Today, our guest, Alliteration Monica.

Speaker 2 We love alliteration.

Speaker 1 I do. Anthony Anderson with a cute nickname Ant.
Anton. It kind of goes by Ant.
Emmy-nominated actor. I've been watching his Law and Order years on the plane ride here.
Only hair. Oh my gosh, dude.

Speaker 1 Of course, Blackish, Kangaroo Jack, Romeo Must Die, Barbershop, Scary Movie 3. He has a new movie on Prime Video right now with Viola Davis called G20.

Speaker 2 I love her. Yes.

Speaker 1 Incredible kiss. And Homelander.
Yeah. Tony Stark.
Please enjoy Ant Anderson.

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Speaker 1 No, motherfucker, you didn't do push-ups before

Speaker 1 the charity event. Before the charity event, yeah.
I try not to be swole at charity events. It's not a good look.
Hey, what's up, son? Loosen up your rotator cuff.

Speaker 1 Nathan and I are in the Guinness Book of World Records. I'm in there twice.
Twice. And you're in there.
What, honey? Just one time, son?

Speaker 1 Not anymore. I'm not.
I don't have any more. And now recently.
Oh, you don't even have it anymore. That's it.
You've been removed. I'm sorry.
All right. I got to go.
I'll holler at you later, man.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. Wait, what? That's as good as place as any to start.
What world records do you hold? I hit a golf ball the furthest with the longest usable golf club in the world.

Speaker 1 36 feet and one inch was the length of the club. Okay, just to put that in perspective, Monica.
You know the gray trailer sitting over there. Yeah.
It's 26 foot.

Speaker 1 So 10 feet longer than that trailer was the club he was using. What? Yeah.
Did you have to have something in the middle for a pivot? It was on a podium. Okay.
Because you can't can't stand.

Speaker 1 The podium wasn't much higher than this table, so I had to stand up on that. I had to rotate.
And you can't fucking

Speaker 1 30 fucking six feet long. You can't ain't none of this shit.
No, no, no, no, no. Did it have to be a control shit and smack the ball.
I forget what the record was for distance, but I out drove it.

Speaker 1 Not that it drove far. It was a couple hundred feet.
That's pretty good. I was expecting like 40 feet.
Oh, no, no, no, much longer. A couple hundred feet.
No, no.

Speaker 1 Yeah, be careful because people could check this. Yeah, it's in the book.
So maybe not a couple hundred feet, but it was far.

Speaker 1 Okay, how did you find yourself in this position is this something you completely orchestrated on your own no i was invited to do it so if you go to top golf right now they played a video in top golf it's been playing there for years because i did it out of top golf in vegas okay great i forget who invited me or how i got involved with it but they asked me to come down and do it and i was like yeah so i got a couple of sprip swings and whacked a motherfucker and then when i hit it and broke the record They had a fucking marching band come out.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're kidding? That I had no idea was happening. It was like, he broke the record in his whole marching band, like 50 or 60 people with instruments.
Wow. Now, my question is: I have so many.

Speaker 1 Me too. Are people sitting around thinking, like, okay, well, how about this? Here's a world record.
36-foot golf club. Who's imagining this?

Speaker 2 Maybe they're going through the book and saying, I can do this.

Speaker 1 After that, I felt compelled to make a show. Once the marching band came out? After the record.
After I did it and they did all this shit.

Speaker 1 And then my son, as you heard on the phone, Nathan was in the Guinness Book of World Records for putting on the most t-shirts in 30 seconds.

Speaker 1 They had Guinness Book come up to his school, and I don't know what the record was, but my son beat it. How many did he put on? What if it was like 27, 30? It was almost one second.

Speaker 1 And I got to imagine once you're wearing 30 t-shirts, it's got to be getting up around his face. Yeah.
The t-shirts would have to be getting progressively larger.

Speaker 1 Maybe they stay the same size, and that's part of the thing because it's getting bigger, but the shirt is still staying the same size.

Speaker 2 And then is there a regulation? Like, it has to be Haynes. Because what if you get the thinnest material?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that I don't know. But the thing with Nathan's record is it wasn't published.
Not all Guinness Book World Records are published in the book.

Speaker 1 You get a certificate and it says, say you broke this record, this is your record. So that's what he has.
One of my records is published in the book.

Speaker 1 The Golf Swing Club is published in the Guinness Book of World Records. Were they doing that in Compton? When you were a kid, were you just studying? Were they playing golf in Compton? No, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 If you saw a black dude with a golf club in Compton, you went the other way. Sure, sure, sure.

Speaker 1 No. Were were you studying the Guinness Book of World Record? Because in elementary school, I was obsessed with that.
Oh, no, that was one of the books as a kid. You just went through.

Speaker 1 It's like, oh, one day I'm going to do this. How can I do this? The tallest guy.
I want to see the tallest guy. Like, you and I probably have the same image of the heaviest twins.

Speaker 1 And they were on those little Honda mopeds together in the photo. You could barely see the moped.
You could see it. You could not.
It was all wedged up in twins.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I remember that. It's such a memorable photo.
And then the fingernails, you look up the fingernails. Ooh.
So you're

Speaker 2 the second one.

Speaker 1 We got know me and darius rucker i was shooting a show and we were doing something and we were attempting two

Speaker 1 other records we're trying to break a record of building this sandwich we didn't get that one

Speaker 1 and the other one was most hugs

Speaker 1 So we broke the record for most hugs in a minute. It was just some simple stuff.
You just had to tap your hand, embrace, and release. Yeah.
And Darius and I had that record. That was crazy.
It did.

Speaker 1 And we did that in the park. In public.
We attempted three, but we got the record for most hugs in a minute. That one isn't published in the book.
Okay. Probably homophobia.

Speaker 1 They want to keep that out. Yeah, you're right.
They're historically very homophobic. We should have been in the record anyway for just most hugs completed by two black men.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Or a black man and a black Hishman. You're going to take your pick on which one is which.
I love this. You guys can see it straight into the interview.

Speaker 1 I thought we were just having a conversation about myself. Now we're always recording.

Speaker 1 Who's just like, wow, I love it. ABR.
Yeah. Always be recording.
You and I have to occasionally, I'm sure, approve bios, right? Like you're going to go somewhere and then they send you a thing.

Speaker 1 Here's what we're going to read before you come out. Yeah.
The next time you're on Kimmel, what they should say is world record holder, Anthony Anderson, when you come out.

Speaker 1 Because that's so much more impressive than actor or producer or any of that. I think I should do that.
And then just let people imagine what it is. Yes.
Not even get into it.

Speaker 1 Just be Guinness Book World Record Holder. Yes.
And when I describe you to people, I'd be like, you know, my friend Ann, world record holder.

Speaker 2 He also acts. Two Two-time.
Can you put two-time world record holder?

Speaker 1 Two-time world record holder. Shit, by now he might have three or four.
This guy's picking him up. I started to tell you, I was trying to develop a show.

Speaker 1 What I wanted to do was take my son, since we're both in this book, world record holders, competitors, and try to break as many records as we can as father's son. I wanted to enter the book that way.

Speaker 1 But there's some guys in there and one father's son, they pull fucking fire trucks. Ooh.
Me and my son can't do that. You're not going to get that record.
Are those guys Scandinavian?

Speaker 1 Are they like from Iceland or something? Yeah. But this father's son, they're in the book for multiple records.
Like Magnus von Magnus and Frimden Roman Magnus. And so I was like, I want to do that.

Speaker 1 Okay, so you and I were recently together, which was really fun. I mean, don't say it like that.
No, I'm going to leave it just like that, just like the world record. We were recently together.

Speaker 1 Moving on. Great time.
No, we, among some other people, went to Vegas because Kimmel was being honored. And we were on an airplane together.
We were shooting the shit. Not just an airplane.

Speaker 1 We were on a PJ. We were on a private TV.
They need to know. We just weren't flying Southwest.
That's a good look for you. It's not a good look for me.
Why is it not a good look for you?

Speaker 1 I'll tell you, and I say this all the time on here. When black people are showing wealth, I'm like, fuck yeah.
It was impossible for you to get it. It's fucking let it let it rip.
I don't mind at all.

Speaker 1 When I see a white kid driving to Lamborghini, I'm like,

Speaker 1 come on. Yeah, I mean, but it's a flex that we could all use, man.
It's not jet blue. You know what I'm saying? Or the other one.
It was. It was a private jet.
But would you agree?

Speaker 1 There's a difference.

Speaker 1 No one's going to be rooting for me to be on a private jet, nor should they. I root for you.
Because we know each other. And you know, I'm from the fucking bowels of Hillbilly Country, Michigan.

Speaker 1 Yeah, come on, baby. Yeah.
Okay, so we're on this flight and we're talking about gambling. And I already know that you gamble.
Yeah. I'm fixing to gamble when we're there.

Speaker 1 We have a little two-hour break. And then you're like, all right, let's play together.

Speaker 1 And I don't know if I was very forthcoming in the moment, but I was starting to get really fearful that we were going to sit down and you were going to be playing like 2,000 a hand and I was going to be playing like 25 right feeling emasculated and you go we should play and I'm like yes you did jump at the opportunity to do it but in my mind I'm like oh I'm gonna feel like such a clown no no playing next to you thank God you decided to take a nap yeah I did is what happened when we you went to the table I went to the table and Chris and I just gave it to him straight in the high knee 225 dollars 225 bucks man anytime you can leave Vegas with their money it's a win that's a big win but were you right would it have been a big massive leap of no, you know what?

Speaker 1 Would you have been like, not this table? We were just there for fun. So it would have been fun for us.
So we would have been paying in gen pop. We've been paying at the little $10, $25 table.

Speaker 1 I can't go lower than $25. I'm right.
I would sit at the $25 table and we would have had a great time.

Speaker 1 When you're putting a corner out there every time you bet, you know, it's like, I got to play this right. So yeah, we would have had a great time.
Okay, now let's talk about the event itself. Yes.

Speaker 1 Power of love. Good memory.
I've done it twice before. Once was for Smokey Robinson.

Speaker 1 oh he was honored and honored lionel richie yeah yeah yeah great time i have one really good lionel ritchie story what's that it's not even really good it's just i met him and it was so exciting we were flying back from nashville we had been promoting a movie at bonroo that music festival and then lionel ritchie was there performing and so we get on the airplane and we're like four rows behind him and i say to chris i'm like oh my god lionel ritchie's over there and we're like peeping him and everything and then we get distracted and then life carries on and then all of a sudden i look up and he's standing there and he goes hi i'm lionell ritchie and i go go oh my god i know you're lionelle richie we love you we're chatting chatting chatting and i said lionelle i know what your best song is and he said what is that and i said this is your life and he goes i think that is my best song

Speaker 1 was he drunk

Speaker 1 and then he left and i'm like this is so great he does not think that's his best song

Speaker 1 so he just happened to be wandering down the aisle and stopped at you and christened seats and said hi i'm lionell not lionel

Speaker 1 richie yes yes lionel richie well i think he probably saw us when we got on but we assumed he doesn't know who we are yes yes yes and then i guess he just decided if i know but that happened and that was very exciting are you friends with him i am lionel's cool so lionel if you're listening to this podcast which i know you're probably not but by a chance if you are i'm still waiting on my dinner at your house i've gone through two girlfriends and a marriage of 23 years and i have yet to be at the dinner at your home that you've invited me and my wife and two of my girlfriends to.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Let's sort that out. Yeah, Linel.
Lionel's a great game. I do imagine his house being a very special situation.
When you bought a house in Bel Air in the 80s, it's its own thing. Yes.

Speaker 1 When I play golf at LA Country Club as a guest, not as a member. Okay.
You can see Lionel's house from

Speaker 1 the fourth hole, fifth hole, or something like that. So every time I go by a house, I hit a ball in the backyard.
Oh. And be like, motherfucker, I want my dinner.

Speaker 1 But to see his home, just see the backyard. It's in layers.

Speaker 1 Oh, good for him. It's in at least three different layers, but I want to count four.
It's terrace. Yes, but not just the width of this table.
I'm talking about park-like terraces, cascades down.

Speaker 1 I was like, God damn, Lionel. Good for him.
This is your life. And I hear that he has, I don't know how true this is.
I started talking to him about it one day, but we never finished the conversation.

Speaker 1 He built a room in his home to replicate the room that he originally wrote his music in.

Speaker 1 Oh, when he was at Tuskegee and all that, the early days of the Commodores, where he wrote the music and old record players and records and shit that was around him in that space when he was being at Creator.

Speaker 1 It's a replica. Yeah, I started talking to him about that.
He started to give the answer, and then something happened, and we both got distracted. But, you know, I'm going to call him.

Speaker 2 Are we doing a real-time call?

Speaker 1 I would love it. Let's call Lionel Ritchie right now.
Ask him about his best song. Okay.

Speaker 1 If he picks up, he never picks up, but he always responds to a text message. Lionel, please pick up.
We need you. Oh, it's the third ring.
He's not picking up.

Speaker 1 Your call has been forwarded to voicemail.

Speaker 3 The person you're trying to reach is not available. When you have finished recording, you may hang up.

Speaker 1 Hey, Lionel, it's Anthony Anderson. I'm here with Dax Shepherd and Monica.
I'm doing a podcast, and I was hoping that you would pick up the phone because we're here talking about you.

Speaker 1 You met Dax on a plane with his wife, Kristen, and you walked up and said, Hi, I'm Lionel Richie. Dax said that

Speaker 1 he knows what your favorite song was, and it was your life. Is this is your life really your favorite song, or is that what you just told him?

Speaker 1 And secondly, I was telling him that word on the street is that you have a replica room of when you wrote your greatest hits when you were younger at Tuskegee and all of that.

Speaker 1 And I told him how we were starting this conversation, and I asked that question, and then we got distracted, so you never answered it. So, please call me back and answer it.

Speaker 1 And I promise to put you on the air and invite our friend

Speaker 1 and the dinner that you promised me and my ex-wife, me me and my ex-girlfriend, and me and my ex-ex-girlfriend. That's three relationships that I've gone through still waiting on dinner, Lionel.

Speaker 1 Call me back. Bye.

Speaker 2 Oh, if he calls back in the middle of it.

Speaker 1 Oh, make sure your ringer's on. I'm going to send him a text that says, Call me.

Speaker 1 I tell him I've been in a bad accident. Yes, he's going to think there's a huge emergency.
Call me, please.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. I'm scared.
He's going to drop every. What is it?

Speaker 1 right i've just left surgery

Speaker 1 did you watch that greatest night in pop doc it's the documentary about them coming together to was it we are the world oh we are the world yeah yes i've seen that isn't that incredible yes because lionell's incredible everyone's incredible daryl hall's incredible yeah and then michael sings and you're like

Speaker 1 among all these people there's one person that's actually like 20% better not to mention any names if you saw the doc you really know how horrible some of them sounded.

Speaker 1 Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure.

Speaker 1 How about when Stevie had to do Bob Dylan in his Bob Dylan voice so Bob knew how to sing? That was the crazy part, man. I thought he was Bob singing.
Yeah, no. Stevie Wonder, also.

Speaker 1 Genius among geniuses. Okay, so let's talk about this.
Stevie Wonder can see. Oh, this is a big rumor.
Can see? Yeah, Stevie Wonder can see.

Speaker 2 Okay, hold on. We need to know your point.

Speaker 1 We're trying to go deep and Stevie Wonder can see. Here's what I've seen.
I'm sure you've seen him. I've seen some videos.
There are a lot of people that believe he can't.

Speaker 1 And there's a couple moments on stage where like a mic stand falls and he catches.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 1 Yes. Okay.
Tell me why. I've known Stevie for years.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I've hung out with Stevie. We've partied together.
Just concerts. What if you said play darts together? Yeah, no, no.
This is a little thing that we would always do every time we saw each other.

Speaker 1 Stevie would be talking to you. The next thing you know, he'd grab you and slit your throat.
Like, how did he know where my throat was? You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 So he'd take his finger and like he had a blade and slit your throat. And he's like, I got you, motherfucker.
I was like, okay, that's cool. You're in close proximity.
You're talking to somebody.

Speaker 1 You get their height. You've been around them a while.
That's cool. Your ears are echolocating the distance of their mouth.
So all that. I get all that orientation.
That's something.

Speaker 1 That's on the up and up. So

Speaker 1 we are at a jazz festival that I believe Stevie is producing in Trinidad. So we get there.
Let me back up just because, hold on to see if that's Lionel. Oh, that's my mama.
Okay. She can wait.
Doris.

Speaker 1 So yeah.

Speaker 1 This is another flex.

Speaker 1 Stevie says, hey, man, won't you come over here to this jazz festival i'm doing i'm like okay cool meet me at the airport so we get at the airport it's stevie natalie cole oh jennifer whitney houston oh my gosh

Speaker 1 johnny gill

Speaker 1 myself gabrielle union derek luke a couple of other people so we're taking off and stevie says oh don't forget we got to stop in atlanta and pick up chris like all right so we stop in atlanta we pick up chris tucker what year is this this is 15 20 years ago oh okay And so we land in Trinidad, Tobago.

Speaker 1 This will date it. When did the police get back together as a band for that last tour after not being a band for like 20-some-odd years or whatever? Whatever year that was.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I think they've tried it a few times, and I think it never works. This was that last big tour that they had.
And this was their first show coming together. Was going to be at this jazz festival?

Speaker 1 It was at this jazz festival. So it was just a regular jazz festival with all these other performers: Patio LaBelle, Natalie Cole, Johnny Gill, all these people performed.

Speaker 1 And then the night, we all went in the audience to watch the police. Come on, Stuart Copeland playing drums.
Yes, the police. But before that, all these other people were performing.

Speaker 1 Johnny Gill is on stage performing. Chris Tucker and I get on stage and we become his background dancers.
And the crowd is packed because they're here to see that. on top of the police.

Speaker 1 So you can just imagine how big this crowd was. Dougie Fresh grabs the mic.
He gets the crowd in the frenzy and all this before somebody else gets on stage. I end up on stage right.

Speaker 1 Stage left is over here and it's a musical stage with huge bands. So just imagine how large the stage is and all the equipment that's on stage.

Speaker 1 I'm the furthest away from stage left on stage right.

Speaker 1 And Stevie Wonder, I see out of the corner of my eye, starts walking on stage. Because Stevie Wonder wants to be a part of what's going on on stage.
I was like, oh shit, see, he's about to get down.

Speaker 1 This motherfucker walks from stage left through instruments, through chords, through cables, through foot pedals, through everything.

Speaker 1 Walks to me.

Speaker 1 Now, 150. See me in my eye.

Speaker 1 And says, Anthony, get me to a piano.

Speaker 1 I'm like, what the fuck? Hold on, how could he not find the piano?

Speaker 1 He walked past the piano. Dougie Fresh is beatboxing.
Chris Tucker is dancing. Johnny Gill is singing.
There's a party going on stage. They're fucking stage hands and grips.

Speaker 1 Stevie walks through the maze of everything and walks directly to me and looks me dead in my eyes this close. Well, he's wearing sunglasses, though.

Speaker 1 Yes, he is.

Speaker 1 And he says, Anthony, get me to a piano. Oh, my God.
This is a compelling

Speaker 1 Steve. You just walk past the fucking piano, but okay.

Speaker 1 And I walk him to the piano, that center stage that he walked and didn't even touch, walked around. Okay, Monica.

Speaker 2 Yeah, this is coming.

Speaker 1 This is tough. This is tough.

Speaker 1 Let me ask you this, though, because then I have to go straight to what would be the motive. Let's try this case.
He's been living a lie for so long that he doesn't want to work.

Speaker 1 He's a great magician, but you got to live the routine. Yeah.
Do you think his feelings would be hurt as your friend? Knowing that you think he's able-sighted? No, we talk about it.

Speaker 1 We laugh about it all the time. Like, I'll send him text messages.
It's like, I know you saw my text message, man. Call me back.

Speaker 2 It could be a smell thing.

Speaker 1 I hear you on that. You know, say that.
He's 100%.

Speaker 1 So many smells.

Speaker 1 Dude, people are dancing. It's Jamaica.
You know how much wheel is being smoked in Trinidad and Tobago?

Speaker 2 Maybe that's part of it. It's like, I know to get a rap.
I mean, we just don't know. Don't they say that the other senses get so strong?

Speaker 1 Really? He didn't want to ask Chris Tucker to take him to the piano. He passed him first.
He couldn't ask Johnny Gill because Johnny was still singing. He might have geotagged you somehow.

Speaker 1 He put a little something on you on the airplane. He's like, you're going to be my anchor.
I'm going to find you. Okay, here's our really funny one.

Speaker 1 Friend of ours worked at Houston's, our favorite restaurant. Stevie Wonder comes in with like five, six friends.

Speaker 1 And the two funny things about it is all the tables are obviously numbered for the servers, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 So one of the servers says to the runner, hey, drop this at Stevie Wonder's table. And the runner says, what number? And he said, number Stevie Wonder.
Right. Right.
So just go find him.

Speaker 1 And then, and this could be an exaggeration. The friends were holding up their drinks and pointing another round, but they would never say it out loud.
Oh!

Speaker 1 Stop!

Speaker 1 Tee went father when getting sloshed at dinner. His mothers were like taking him to the cleaners.
Yeah, another one of these, but they were not saying anything. So you wouldn't know.

Speaker 1 They were drinking $400 worth of it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What's the bill? I got it. Don't worry about it.
What's the numbers, y'all? Oh, it's not bad, Stevie.

Speaker 1 But there have been sightings, you know, Shaq tells stories. Eddie Murphy tells stories how they've seen Stevie Wonder driving cars and shit like that.

Speaker 1 I've seen Stevie walk through landmines and come to me. Yeah, wow.
That is wild. Look, as I tell the stories, like, yeah, Eddie and Shaq say they've seen him drive cars.

Speaker 1 He'd be like, yeah, it's crazy. I saw the man walk through landmines and get to me.
So I was like, anything's possible. I wouldn't care if the whole thing was a ruse.
I wouldn't feel deceived.

Speaker 1 And also, if you think about it, it's an incredibly useful thing to say you have because you never have to remember what anyone looks like. There's just so much shit you would get out of.

Speaker 1 But man, that takes some commitment. Oh, my God.
Dedication. Yes, next level.
And then, Stevie, and I love you.

Speaker 1 If you're listening to this, because I know you're not watching the podcast, but if you're listening to what he's watching, I think he is watching, maybe is what you're saying.

Speaker 1 If Stevie could see, he wouldn't have made some of those fashion choices that he's made over the years. Okay, so that's the other

Speaker 1 bit of that. That side.

Speaker 1 And he wouldn't have kept getting those braids with his hair receding the way that it was. Stevie would have saw it and be like, yo, what the fuck y'all doing to my line?

Speaker 1 Y'all pushing my hairline back. I got cow legs now.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I do want to go back to Compton, to childhood. Oh, let's go.
We're of similar age. And when I was growing up, all the music was coming from there.
that I loved.

Speaker 1 The movies I loved at that moment were coming from there. And you were living there.
So a couple of questions. What was it like growing up there?

Speaker 1 And then also, I just trying to imagine my hometown being the source of all these great movies, all this great music, what that felt like to be there.

Speaker 1 And was there some disconnect of, oh yeah, everyone's into this. It's on TV, but it's not a party here.
Oh, it's a combination of all that. You know, I'll start with the louder first.

Speaker 1 It's not a party or celebrated the way that people were. digesting it or enjoying it, but it was my reality.

Speaker 1 So the shit that you saw and the things that people were entertained by, the music, the culture, the movies that were in and about Compton, it was also about these places around the country as well, but it was centered here.

Speaker 1 It was crazy, man. You know, I wasn't affiliated with any gangs, but you're affiliated by association.
You're affiliated because it's the block that you live in.

Speaker 1 I was going to say your neighborhood probably plays a big role in shit. Yeah, they were like, I don't give a fuck.
You live on Holly or you live in Luters Park.

Speaker 1 You live in these places that were what they were. I come from a blood territory, a blood hood, and the other hood surrounding areas were crips.

Speaker 1 Whether or not I was a part of the gang culture, it didn't matter. Right.
To the other side, that's where you live. So that's what you're about.
I had to walk through all of that.

Speaker 1 I went to the high school for the performing arts. Which was at Hollywood High? No, no, no.
That's Hollywood High. That's where I graduated.
That's where I did my senior year. Oh, okay.
Okay.

Speaker 1 This is the LA County. The LA County High School for the Performing Arts.
I was part of the inaugural class in 1985. I'm actually going back.
to do their 40-year reunion this year. Oh, cool.

Speaker 1 Someone reached out to me and asked me to be a part of it. And I never wanted to be a part of the school.
Why? Because they kicked me out for having weed.

Speaker 1 I get why you did it, but you let the white boys with cocaine stay in the school. I know I'm getting off our topic and I'll get back to it, but I had an issue with the administration.

Speaker 1 So for the longest time, people that I knew that were students there, I had friends who had kids there. You should come back and talk to the school.
And I was like, no.

Speaker 1 And then one day I woke up and I was like, but that's doing a disservice to the students. Exactly, who did nothing to me?

Speaker 1 Yeah, who did nothing to me and would love for somebody like me to be there and be a part of that. Absolutely.
So years ago, I decided, okay, whenever they ask me again, I'm there.

Speaker 1 So I had to be be ready for school by 5.30 because I had to walk a mile and a half to a bus stop. 5.30 in the 80s, shit's popping.
Oh, yeah. Especially in the hoods where I'm

Speaker 2 why mornings were like excellent.

Speaker 1 Well, because people have been smoking crap all night long. They're still out.

Speaker 1 They're still buying. All this shit.
Drive-bys. Nobody schedules a drive-by at 3.30 in the afternoon.
It's like, yo, we're going to catch them when we catch them.

Speaker 1 Walking through my hood was fine. But then I had to walk through other neighborhoods.
You hear Tupac and them talk about Long Beach and Rosecrans. You hear people rap about that shit.

Speaker 1 That's my neighborhood.

Speaker 1 That's the corner where I had to sit and wait for a bus at 5.50 in the morning. Right across the street are the Santana Block Crypts, diametrically opposed to the Ludas Park Bloods and then the mob.

Speaker 1 I'm probably speaking French to y'all and all this other shit, but those who know who are listening understand. So I had to sit on that bus stop at 5.50 in the morning, waiting for a 6 a.m.

Speaker 1 bus that takes me two hours to get to school. And then I had to reverse it at four o'clock when I got out of school and come home.
So really quick, what's the survival mechanism? Is it ignoring?

Speaker 1 Is it acknowledging? Is it ignoring until you have to acknowledge? You don't ignore it. That's when you get caught.

Speaker 1 You know, your head is always on a swivel, especially moving alone in areas that are hot spots. I'm always conscious of where I am.

Speaker 1 That's just the era that I come from and the neighborhoods that I come from.

Speaker 1 So when you were seeing it blow up in pop culture, to be fully honest with you, my best friend, Aaron, who I'm still best friends with, we left Detroit right when we graduated high school.

Speaker 1 We went on a road trip. We lived in the car for like six months.
When we came to LA, our very first stop was, we're South Central. Very wide of you.
Yeah. We want to see all the action.

Speaker 1 And then we got there and being from Detroit, the projects of Detroit, you know, you're looking at them. Yeah.
And we were like, these are kind of nice houses. It was a little confusing.

Speaker 1 I was going to ask you. There's all these like World War II bungalow developments.
It's very confusing if you're from the East Coast to come out and see.

Speaker 2 Well, and also what's been presented in media and stuff like that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if I were you, I would be annoyed.
Like, what the fuck are these white boys doing? They're tourists. That's when you get caught up.
So you never got caught up in anything.

Speaker 1 No, but I was also smoking crack in Detroit. I've never known that at all.
Oh, yeah, I'm an ex-addict, and I used to be in the gnarliest apartment smoking crack in Detroit. We recognize that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I knew how to get by. And so did Aaron.
Okay. But all to say, I'm trying to imagine what it is when you're inside of it and people, they themselves are enamored by it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's really annoying.

Speaker 1 It is. It's like when the baby falls into the gorilla cage or somebody gets into the cage, you want to see the motherfuckers get ripped apart.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I should say when the baby falls in because that's an accident. But when motherfuckers get in and like want to play with the lions and want to play with the monkeys and you know better.
Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 It's like motherfucker, there's a wire cage and there's a brick fence. You climbed all of this.
You swam across the moat to get this. You deserve whatever you're about to get right now.

Speaker 1 And the animal should not be punished. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah. For what is about to happen to you.
Yes.

Speaker 1 And And it's fucked up that the animal has to be killed, euthanized, and maimed and whatever because of what this asshole did.

Speaker 1 So sometimes when you see shit like that, you're like, okay, this is all news to me. You're telling me you've been an ex-addict.
I probably knew about that, but I didn't know you smoked crack.

Speaker 1 Sure, sure. You probably talked about this shit.
You probably talked about this shit because you said it so freely right now.

Speaker 2 Without any talk about it every five minutes.

Speaker 1 Yeah. How old were you when you started smoking crack? And what was that about? How long was the addiction to that? Well, crack, thank God, was something I did semi-controlled.
semi-controlled.

Speaker 1 My preference was to snort it. Snort crack? No, no, snort coach.
Okay, I was like, hold on, motherfucker. You're going to snort crack? You just didn't want to go to coaching.

Speaker 1 I would often run out of that. I can't get that at three in the morning.
So I go to ghost town in Venice and buy crack and I'll smoke crack. You weren't doing that while you were in Detroit.
No, no.

Speaker 1 Then I go back to Detroit for the summers and hang with all my boys and we go downtown.

Speaker 2 But you weren't a kid doing it.

Speaker 1 I wasn't a child. I probably smoked it for the first time when I was 21.
All right. Wow.

Speaker 2 This is also while he's at UCLA.

Speaker 1 No!

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Like two things are happening that make no sense.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. I'm at UCLA and in the groundlings.
I'm a comedian.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Stay tuned for more armchair expert.

Speaker 1 If you dare.

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Speaker 1 Have you ever done SNL? I haven't, no. Neither have I.
It's heartbreaking, right? It is, man. And now I'm getting so old.
Now it's starting to sound like too much work for me. It is.

Speaker 1 You look at the successes that we've had, you know, in our careers, and then you look at some of the talent that they have come there and host, and you're like, did I upset somebody?

Speaker 1 You're right, right, right, right. I've never questioned my ability because I know what I can do.
They called for my availability one time. Hold on.

Speaker 1 It's not to say that they were offering it to to you. No, I got the same thing.
And that's great. Yeah, they called for my availability, but then they never called back once we sent them the dates.

Speaker 1 I was like, what the fuck? I was available. I was in the middle of Blackish.
I mean, we were shooting my show. We get 24 episodes a year.
We get the call.

Speaker 1 We're going to tell ABC, yo, we're shutting down for whatever. I'm about to go do SNL.
These motherfuckers never call back, man. I'm going to say this from the bottom of my heart.
You would be great.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. You would be such a great host.
That's what I've always said. I'm very surprised.
That's what I've always said. Yeah, you really would be a great, great host.

Speaker 1 While I was doing my first stint on Law and Order, so from 2008 to 2010, they came to Jeremy's sister and I and wanted us to shoot a bit with Zach Galfanakis because he was hosting.

Speaker 1 So we went and did a Law and Order bit type thing. Oh, that's cool.
And it aired. Yeah, it aired.
I was cool with that, but I was like, yo, you can call me to come be funny and do this shit.

Speaker 1 But I get what that was. You got to take it as a win.
You're back on the bus stop 5.30 in the morning.

Speaker 1 You're like, oh boy they're in a fight they're about to start shooting where's the 360 down long beach boulevard and then

Speaker 1 and then the white angel shows up and he says guess what at some point snl's gonna call on us for your valve building you're gonna go oh my god i won't run that's a win i won't run from these bullets i just hope they don't hit me

Speaker 1 okay so single mom or you had a stepdad i've never called him my stepdad he's been my dad since i was an infant so that's my daddy great and you had a good one i did he's from Little Rock.

Speaker 1 And he came to work in a steel mill? Yeah. Little Rock, Arkansas, youngest of 16.
16. Same mom, same dad, grew up on a farm.
An Irish twin. My uncle Adal is 11 months older than my dad.

Speaker 1 My uncle Adal came out to California being an Irish twin. He was tied to the hip.
He came out to be where his older brother was. Yeah, that's true.
That's what brought my dad out to California.

Speaker 1 Ended up working in the steel mill, Sulay steel. Where's that? In Watts.
That's not still functioning. No, it's not still functioning.
All the steel went over to Japan years ago. It was crazy.

Speaker 1 My dad, his company, sent him to Japan. And my dad was like six, four, 300 plus pounds, but he was 300 solid.
So just imagine a Japanese dude with a Jerry curl

Speaker 1 landing in Japan. Oh my God.
My dad has pictures of him and all these Japanese women just surrounded him. And he's holding up his hand.
And this lady's hand is like down here just to see the sign.

Speaker 1 And I know my daddy was over there fucking his ass off.

Speaker 1 And so he was there for a few weeks.

Speaker 1 I'm surprised he came back. He had to come back to my mama.

Speaker 1 Well, how did he end up? He owned clothing stores at some point. Again, my father did everything my uncle did.

Speaker 1 And my uncle started a clothing store in Watts and built it up to a few throughout Los Angeles. I'll never forget.
Growing up as a kid, my uncle was doing well.

Speaker 1 And he would walk around with a briefcase and have $15,000 in it. So 50 years ago, 40 years ago, for a black dude to be walking, he'd be doing that successful in business.

Speaker 1 And this was just the receipts from his stores from that week.

Speaker 1 And he would come over to my dad's house and they would talk and, you know, just being like, ha ha ha.

Speaker 1 They would sit up there. My dad would count the money with him and wanted to do what his older brother did.
So my father went downtown LA to the garment district, bought a box of Braxton jeans.

Speaker 1 I'll never forget, 36 pairs of jeans and a box.

Speaker 1 He went to a swap meet on that Saturday, sold out, went back the next day or later on that day, took the profits from his one box and bought two boxes, sold out the next day.

Speaker 1 So the next week, he took that profit and bought more stuff. And so that's how my father started at swap meets and then on corners.

Speaker 1 And then he had this one particular corner in Watts and LA that he would go to and set up shop, you know, canopies and tents. It was like an open storefront.
Did he make you work with him ever?

Speaker 1 Yeah, not have a problem doing it. Good chance to work on your people skills.
Yeah, popping my shit, my dad popping his shit, making money, getting paid as a teenager.

Speaker 1 Then from there, my father started opening stores. And when he opened the stores, it was for plus-size women because my mom is a plus-size.
So he was just catering to the women he loved.

Speaker 1 Going plus-size women in children's clothing. And that's what he did, man.
And what did Doris do? I know she wanted to be an actor. She wanted to be an actor.
My mother

Speaker 1 was a telephone operator for the County of Los Angeles. Yeah, I read that and I was like, this feels so 80s to be a telephone operator.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And she worked at a hospital, Harper General UCLA Medical Center in Torrance, California. And you had a little brother.
Two little brothers and a sister. My sister's the baby.
I'm the oldest.

Speaker 1 I lost my youngest brother about 20 years ago now in a car accident while he was at West Texas AM College playing football. Oh, yeah, because they're probably huge like your dad.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so we lost him and then a year later lost my dad. So it's three children now, me, my brother Derek, and my sister Doris.
When my dad died, I thought it was going well.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 But in reflection, it really fucked me up more than I really kind of realized at the time. And I have a few friends whose dads also died too young.
I don't know. It can bring out some wild stuff.

Speaker 1 I processed it as best as I could or as best as I knew how. And I don't think I really processed it as an adult.
Yeah. Yeah.
What year? This was almost 20 years ago. So I was in my 30s.

Speaker 1 I was successful well good he saw that yeah i've been successful a while so he got a chance to see all of that stuff but you know when i'm when i go my therapist i'm gonna talk to my therapist about this you're giving me something to talk to him about because i don't really think i fully processed the death of my father me either it's still evolving mine was 2012 so 13 years ago my most consistent dream is dreams about him When he died, it was a bit of a relief because I was caring for him and supporting him and it was complicated.

Speaker 1 And so at first it was just like, okay, whoo, there's a lot off my plate now. And then, oh, I miss him.

Speaker 1 And then it just continues to unfold this whole thing. And now I have a completely different view of him than I did when he died.

Speaker 1 I recognize all these incredible things he was in spite of some things I was disappointed in. It's just all these things.

Speaker 1 And yeah, now I'm like, God, yeah, I'd really like to go back now and hang with him when he was virile and not dying. Yeah, my dad, it's sad.
how it happened because I'm a type two diabetic.

Speaker 1 I was the first person diagnosed with type 2 diabetes in my family.

Speaker 1 I started getting healthy and I started partnering with Eli Lilly and now Novo Nordisk, bringing awareness about diabetes to the inner city, in particular, black men. They over-index, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, very much so. Because I lost my father to complications of diabetes.
And what was fucked up, he had diabetes for probably 20, 25 years undiabetic.

Speaker 2 Without knowing. Oof.

Speaker 1 That's rough, right? You're peeing all the time. You're fatigued.
Dad's just tired. You know, this is a teenager growing up and all all this other shit.

Speaker 1 He's like, why does dad have a bucket next to the bed? Because he would fucking just roll over and piss in the bucket next to the bed.

Speaker 1 Once I was diagnosed as a diabetic, I was like, oh, shit, this is what my father had as I was growing up. I'm looking at the symptoms I have and I'm looking at the symptoms he had.

Speaker 1 It had gotten to a point where I don't know what it's called, but we say it's elephantitis, where his lower extremities were all fucking one size from the knee down to the ankle into the foot, and it was swole and was hard as this table.

Speaker 1 And then he developed leaking ulcers on the back of both of his calves, and it became painful for him to walk. So I had to get him a cane and a roller walker.

Speaker 1 At this point, my father's in his 60s, and he just let himself go. So now he's really just a big man.
By the time he was diagnosed, diabetes had wreaked havoc on his body.

Speaker 1 And I took him to the best endocrinologist that I could find. We tried to nurse him back to health.

Speaker 1 And he was in the hospital for a couple of months, had a pulmonary embolism while he was in the hospital, but they were able to catch it and save him, then released him to a rehab center.

Speaker 1 Then they let him go home. So we had a nurse that would come to him daily.
And then one day I went to visit my dad and my brother, his nickname was Tuga. That's my brother that passed.

Speaker 1 And I was talking to my dad. He was laying in his bed and I was in his bedroom just leaning up against his dresser, speaking to him.
And I was like, hey, what's going on, Pops? How you doing?

Speaker 1 He's like, I'm all right. He said, I saw Tuga last night.
I was like, really? He said, yeah, he just sat on the edge of the bed right there. I said, and what you guys do? He said, we just talked.

Speaker 1 I was like, oh, really? At that point, are you like, oh, dad's kind of hallucinating? No, not hallucinating. It was like, dad is about to go.
Yeah, right, right, right.

Speaker 1 I believe in ghosts and all that. So when he was telling me my brother came to visit him, I was like, oh, okay, it's time.

Speaker 1 And not long after that, man, he died on Valentine's Day. I was going to work.
I was filming. The shield and I got a call in the middle of the night from his nurse and said, we lost your dad.
Oh, man.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 yeah, that's why I'm so adamant about going around the world and just talking about diabetes and giving my testimonial and just talking to men.

Speaker 1 I know I got it from being a glutton and from not eating the right shit and for doing all this other shit that I did throughout my life that contributed to it. I'll say that much.
I contributed to it.

Speaker 1 Were you adjusting or regulating the inside with that? Like I'm using drugs and booze? Oh, no. it wasn't like a coping mechanism for no, no, I just like good shit, man.

Speaker 1 Probably why I got motherfucking gout in my big toe on my right foot occasionally. Oh, that's rough.
Yeah, oh man, that's what my dad at the end he had gout in addition to everything.

Speaker 1 You know, what's crazy? I was living in New Orleans for a while, shooting a show there. That place will give you a gout.
Yeah, I was like, I'm gonna be healthy.

Speaker 1 Not the place. I was eating nothing but seafood and shellfish.
I was like, oh, I'm just eating seafood and shellfish. But all the purine in the shellfish contributed to my buildup of uric acid.

Speaker 1 And I'll never forget, I was in the scene and I went to kick a door in

Speaker 1 and I hit it. And I was like, oh, I think I broke my toe.
And I finished the scene. Then we moved locations.
We were filming in a hotel in the middle of the night.

Speaker 1 And I was laying across the bed and they said, action. And I jumped up to run and chase the perp.
And I put pressure on my right foot and I collapsed. And I was like, oh, yeah, I broke my toe.

Speaker 1 I went to the doctor the next day, limping in. They were like, what's wrong, Mr.
Anderson? I was like, I kicked the door and I think I broke my toe.

Speaker 1 They're looking at it, like, I don't think you broke your toe. I said, yeah, no, I think I broke my toe.
They're like,

Speaker 1 you might have the gout. I was like, no, I ain't got the gout.
Oh, that's up for me. I was like, Dr.
Cotler, let's go on x-ray. They humored me.
I was like, okay, Mr. Anderson.

Speaker 1 Took me to x-ray they should. Came back 30 minutes later and said, okay, we got good news and bad news.
Which one do you want first? I was like, the good news. All right.
You didn't break your toe.

Speaker 1 I was like, what's the bad news? You got the gout.

Speaker 1 I was like, you motherfucker. If you look at it, it looks red hot.
And so if you put your hand above it, you can feel the heat coming off of it.

Speaker 1 Now I think about it, I was like, well, it is uric acid. You associate acid with being hot.
That's just my little ghetto way of thinking about things.

Speaker 1 But if you hover your hand above wherever you may have the gout, it's radiating heat up off of it and it's bright red and it hurts like hell.

Speaker 1 Okay, what I have gleaned from the many interviews I've watched of you now is, and I'm guessing, having to leave Howard, was it heartbreaking? It was. It was disappointing.

Speaker 1 So you go to Howard after this magnet school you're at, and you're there for how many years? Three. I ran out of money after my junior year.
And you're doing theater there, and are you loving D.C.?

Speaker 1 Loving D.C.'s Chocolate City. It was at the beginning of gentrification.

Speaker 1 And as 17, 18 years old, I didn't really understand or know what gentrification was, even though I was at the beginning of it in Washington, D.C.

Speaker 1 The Washington Wizards, their basketball team, used to be called the Washington Bullets. But because it was the murder capital capital of the world at one particular time in the 80s.

Speaker 1 And they had been with the Washington Bullets forever.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it had nothing to do with it.

Speaker 1 So they were like, maybe we need to change the name of the team.

Speaker 2 Plus we brand, Optics.

Speaker 1 Washington Murders. Yeah, you're right.

Speaker 1 So they changed the name from the Washington Bullets to the Washington Wizards. Just a little something for you.
Yeah, a little extra. So you run out of money and you come back to L.A.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 How long before getting back to starting to get employed? Because I feel like you and I have a kind of a similar, I didn't start getting hired as an actor until like 28.

Speaker 1 25 for me oh right you do five years on a Saturday morning teen show I got that when I was 25 years old so I left Howard at 20 those five years is long yeah I came home especially with nothing my parents ended up getting separated a few years after I came home I moved in with my mom went to a couple community colleges just because I wanted to keep my mind active I was like I'm going back to Howard I just don't want to sit here and fuck off.

Speaker 1 So let me go to some JCs. I went to El Camino Community College and I went to Compton College for a semester each.

Speaker 1 And I was like, yeah, I just want to keep my mind active and I want to pick up some classes that's going to transfer so it'll make my load a little easier when I go back for my senior year.

Speaker 1 That shit never happened. Well, until 2020, when did you go back? 2022 was when I went back.

Speaker 2 And you graduate.

Speaker 1 Yeah, my son got accepted to Howard University in 2018. When I went to college, I would have been the first person to graduate in my family from college.

Speaker 1 So that's why I was like, no, I got to go back and fucking finish. Then I started having kids.
And then my younger cousins, 10, 15 years younger than me, they started going to college and graduating.

Speaker 1 I was like, fuck, I wanted to be the first. Yeah.
So my daughter went to the University of San Diego, graduated magna cum laude. I was like, oh, fuck.
Now she's slapping me in the face with this shit.

Speaker 1 Then my son gets accepted to Howard. His mother and I met at Howard.
In 1989. Yeah.
So you're a double legacy kid. You got to go to Howard.
And I was like, you know what, son?

Speaker 1 You're inspiring me to go back to school. I'm going to walk with you in 2022.
That gives me four years to make up 15 credits.

Speaker 1 So I was like, I can do that shit. And so he goes, real life gets in his way.
He's a young artist, actor, musician, rapper, and he wants to pursue his dream.

Speaker 1 And my son would always tell me, he was like, you dropped out of college and look at you. I was like, first off, motherfucker, I didn't drop out of college.
I ran out of money. There's a difference.

Speaker 1 I had financial choice.

Speaker 1 I didn't just wake up one morning like you did. He'd be like, fuck it.
I'm dropping out. My dad got me.
No, motherfucker. Your daddy ain't got you.

Speaker 1 There are consequences that come with these choices that you were about to make. And I'm telling you right now, you're about to fuck it up.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But he left after his freshman year, but I kept my promise to him. I kept my promise to myself.
And I walked in 2022.

Speaker 1 I love that. Taraji Henson was our commencement speaker the year I received my degree.

Speaker 1 Taraji and I were classmates in the College of Fine Arts back when I was in school. Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 Denise Saunders, who's the associate dean of the College of Fine Arts, was instrumental in helping me get back into school. She and I were classmates when I was at Howard University.

Speaker 1 Felicia Rashad is now the dean of the College of Fine Arts. And this is her last year as dean of the College of Fine Arts.
She and I are friends and have done things together.

Speaker 1 I received my degree from her. And the College of Fine Arts is no longer called the College of Fine Arts.
That year, for the first time, it's now called called the Chadwick A.

Speaker 1 Boseman College of Fine Arts. And Chadwick and I are contemporaries and friends in this industry.
All of that happened. the year that I went back to get my degree.

Speaker 1 And it was just a full circle moment. And I took my best friend, who's my kid's godfather, Skinny Boy, who I went to high school with.
We ended up at Howard together at the same time as freshmen.

Speaker 1 So it was a full circle moment.

Speaker 1 I went back to get my degree with the guy I started college with, with all of these people that I started college with. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That airplane ride home, I'd be like, well, if it goes down, like, this is about as great as it gets story-wise.

Speaker 1 This really worked out. So many wonderful things you're in.
I really am jealous of a lot. Why? What are you jealous of? Well, departed, the fact that in your lifetime you worked for a Scorsese.

Speaker 1 You can just leave it right there. You don't have to read anymore.
It might be the greatest cast of all time. I would say that.
Directed by the greatest director of all time. Yes.

Speaker 1 We've both hosted Kimmel, and you've done it a lot. How many times have you done it? I think I have the record for most appearances on Jimmy Kimmel.

Speaker 1 If I haven't passed Adam Carolla yet, I am a close second to him. God, I feel like I got to be up there too.

Speaker 2 Do you know how many you've been?

Speaker 1 No, there's a lot. Like every summer when Jimmy takes off, I host for a week.
But what's crazy, he used to have co-hosts on his show with him back in the day. That's right.

Speaker 1 So you would come on and co-host with him. I was the last co-host.
that he had. Mike Tyson was before me.

Speaker 1 And then I came on and then I would come sit in for him. And then whenever he needed a bit or something, he always would call me and I'd call my mom.
So it would be me and my mom on there.

Speaker 2 Your mom at the award show, that bit of image.

Speaker 1 That was so great. Yes.

Speaker 2 That was so fantastic.

Speaker 1 Of all these hosting duties, which is your favorite? I mean, the game show racket's nice because you're just cranking out episodes. Those are cool.
And I get to do them with my mom. So that's cool.

Speaker 1 But I would probably say Kimmel because I've always wanted my own talk show.

Speaker 1 So I enjoy it from top to bottom. It's like me directing when I was directing on Black-ish.

Speaker 1 It was like, okay, I don't know how to direct, but my crew is not going to let me fail my very first episode. Right.
So, you know, this is a safe place for me to do it. It's a great place.

Speaker 1 So Kimmel is home for me. He's a great talk show host, but he's a fucking great friend.
Oh, my God. You know, he's a great guy.
Yeah, he'll almost shame you. He's right there.

Speaker 1 We gave him a best boy award.

Speaker 2 We gave him a best boy award.

Speaker 1 He's the best boy on planet Earth. The best thing I would say is Kimmel and right after that, hosting the Emmys.
You loved it. Yeah.
Do you know that Ant refers to himself as the Luchi?

Speaker 1 What's her name?

Speaker 1 Susan Lucci. Susan Black Susan Lucci.
Yeah, because he's been nominated 11 times.

Speaker 1 Monica and I were talking about the other day, and I was like, I don't know, man, if they had fucking nominated me, mind you, I've never been nominated, but if they nominated me five times, I might go like, I'm not fucking common anymore.

Speaker 1 Like when I used to be nominated for an NAACP Image Award, every year I go and I think, ah, shit, this is the year. And I was like, ah.
And then one year I was like, oh, this is it.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, I showed my ass in this. This was it.
And I get there. I didn't look at who the other nominees were.

Speaker 1 So I was just like, oh,

Speaker 1 this nominee. I get there and I look at my category and I was like, Denzel, why should she?

Speaker 1 I had a suitmate for nothing.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Nothing.

Speaker 1 And the winner is for best lead actor in the movie, Denzel. What?

Speaker 1 Fuck.

Speaker 1 One last question, and then I want to talk about G20. How do you know Jordan? And what's that hang like?

Speaker 2 Wait, what Jordan?

Speaker 1 Michael Jordan. Michael Jordan.
Jordan. Okay.
Oh, there he does live next door to Michael B. Jordan.

Speaker 1 He said there's three black people in his neighborhood. Him, Michael B.
Jordan, and Machine Gun Kelly.

Speaker 1 You've done your research. I tried.
You've done your research, man. That was funny.
We kind of love him. We had him on.
He was one of my favorite guys.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's a special dude. He's like a very sensitive, sweet dude.
He's nothing like you think he would be. Yeah, yeah.
Like he called me up one day, Thanksgiving.

Speaker 1 He's like, yo, Aunt, you got any aluminum foil?

Speaker 1 I was like, I do. And you're grown.
You should have it too. I was like, I'm in Qatar right now.

Speaker 1 But, yo, I can give you the code to my back door. Yeah, cool.
So I was like, yo, I can give you the code to my back door, man. It's in the drawer right next to you.
He said, no, that's all right.

Speaker 1 I'll task rabbit it. I owe him a sweet potato pie, by the way.
He always calls me about the sweet potato pie because he knows I bake. He's a sweet boy.
You need to take him under your arm.

Speaker 1 I've gone to his birthday parties and all that. We're good.
Oh, that's good. But Jordan, we watched last dance as everyone did.

Speaker 1 And just so fascinated. The brand Jordan would ask me to come do their corporate things for their athletes that wear brand Jordan.

Speaker 1 Like he would do a corporate retreat with just his elite athletes who wear his stuff. Oh, so funny.
And I would be there as the host. As a world record holder.
Yeah, as a world record holder.

Speaker 1 I would just be there as a host and having fun. And all we would do was play golf.
And he would have competitions. He would set us up in different groups.

Speaker 1 It could be eight or or nine groups with 10 athletes per group. And it was like, yo, I want you guys to create a new shoe and tell us what you think it is.

Speaker 1 And whatever group wins will get a pair of Jordans from Jordan 1 all the way up to whatever year we're at that time. Every single pair.
Every single pair and whatever color scheme that you want.

Speaker 1 Oh my God. See, I wore these just for you.
Yeah, there you go. I got those too.
So my team fucking lost. But the fact at that time, it was like 30 pair of J's that you could get in your colorway.

Speaker 1 That's 15,000 bucks or 30,000 bucks worth of shoes. Yeah, so we become cool.
But what really made us cool, they opened the Cove Hotel in the Bahamas at Atlantis. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So this was 20 years ago, 17 years ago, something like that. So they had a big grand opening and MJ is sitting there.
We're in a restaurant. Stevie won his birthday.

Speaker 1 All kinds of celebrities are there because it's a huge opening. We're in Bobby Flay's restaurant.
And so I walk over to MJ. I was like, oh, shit, there's MJ.
And I've never met him before.

Speaker 1 I was like, I got to talk to him. So I'm talking to my ex-wife.
I'm like, hey, babe, I'm going to go talk to MJ. So I'll go see MJ.

Speaker 1 And I was like, hey, MJ, hey, man, I just want to say pleasure to meet you. And I was like, I hear you're a domino player.
And I brought your dominoes with me.

Speaker 1 I have this red pair of aluminum jumpman dominoes that I got. at NBA All-Star in Vegas from a brand Jordan party.
And he looked at me, he said, did I get you those motherfuckers?

Speaker 1 I said, no, you didn't. And he was like, how did you get them? I said, well, I consider myself to be the MJ of bones, but, you know, that's beside the point.
Neither here nor there.

Speaker 1 I'd like to play with you.

Speaker 1 And he turns to my ex-wife and says,

Speaker 1 okay, look here, man, I suggest you go to the bank and take out as much money as you can

Speaker 1 because once I whip his ass, he won't have enough money to take care of you and your children.

Speaker 1 You're smart. You ensnared him in competition.
Yeah, and she's like, I'm not going to let him play you for money, but this is what he do.

Speaker 1 And he was like, meet me at the Cabana tomorrow at noon. Oh, damn.
I was like, great. All right.

Speaker 1 This is crazy. So I'm swimming in the ocean with Patrick Ewing.

Speaker 1 Sure.

Speaker 1 My ex-wife comes running up to me. Baby, baby.
I was like, what? She said, MJ's at the Cabana. I was like, yo, Pat, I got to go.

Speaker 1 So I get out, dry off. I run upstairs, grab the dominoes.
And before I leave, I see a camera sitting on the table. And I said, babe, grab the the camera.
Got to take a picture.

Speaker 1 So she grabbed the camera. This is my first time meeting MJ, and I'm hanging with him.
So we get to the cabana. It's Ahmad Rashad, MJ, and then MJ brought somebody to play Dominoes with us, right?

Speaker 1 A ringer? Yes.

Speaker 1 And so we're there. Ahmad's not playing.
Ahmad's just sitting there with his legs crossed, just looking at us. We're talking shit and having fun.
And I'm just timid. I'm not talking shit.

Speaker 1 I'm just enamored with MJ. And he's beating me.

Speaker 1 I rarely lose in dominoes. And he's beating me, but I I don't give a fuck that he's beating me.
I'm like, he's on the back of my dominoes. Like this.

Speaker 1 You want to look at the list of people who have lost to Michael Jordan? It's a good list. What is my name? Even better, a list of people who've beaten Michael Jordan.

Speaker 1 So I'm playing with him and he's talking shit.

Speaker 1 And my wife looks at me and says, yo, you just come let him keep talking shit to you like that?

Speaker 1 And I was like, shut up.

Speaker 1 But he says something that gets me razzled, razzled. I was like, fuck this.
I'm going to stop playing timid. I get domino.
We're playing the 150.

Speaker 1 Jordan has 125. His buddy has 75.
I have 45.

Speaker 1 And I get the domino. And I look at him and I was like, yo, MJ,

Speaker 1 I said, it's going to be the hardest 25 points you ever had to score in your life.

Speaker 1 Just know that.

Speaker 1 This is so scary. Now I'm out of my shell.
Now I'm like, yo, fuck this. I ain't going to have this motherfucker whoop my ass.
I played Domino. Now I'm talking shit.

Speaker 1 I'm talking cash shit to this motherfucker. And he's giving it back.
Send your wife to get money.

Speaker 1 I'm like, yo, baby, go get the money. Go get the money.
I'm feeling it. Money's on.
God is laughing. Fucking MJ is talking shit.
And then

Speaker 1 we're sitting there and boom. I say some shit and I win.

Speaker 1 Right?

Speaker 1 He's like, run it back. I was like, okay, motherfucker, let's go.
So now we're running it back. Now I'm talking shit from the beginning.
Now I'm in in my element.

Speaker 1 And I'm boom, boom, boom, talking shit about him, his mama, his daddy, his kids, all this shit.

Speaker 1 And then I'm whipping his ass. And I'm whipping this motherfucker's ass.

Speaker 1 And then I was like, yo, I wish me and my wife could make babies right now because we would go upstairs and make a baby right now.

Speaker 1 And we would name him or her MJ just so when he or she got older, she could say, Daddy, why did you name me MJ? And I could relive this moment right now. Bam! Damn it, oh, motherfucker!

Speaker 1 Won the game. His security comes out of the Savannah.
There's a DJ on the pool. The DJ scratches the record, stops the music.
The fucking hotel security comes out.

Speaker 1 The people that are swimming in it, because it's the opening, it's the grand opening of this huge fucking hotel in the Bahamas. Everybody stops and turns towards us.
Don't worry.

Speaker 1 I just whipped Michael Jordan's ass in Domino's. He all right though.
We good.

Speaker 1 He's still got the shoes. You good?

Speaker 1 And I try to have my lady take pictures of it. The motherfucker refuses to take pictures with me.
Now I have to find these pictures because I have pictures of this motherfucker just looking

Speaker 1 just like this and me sitting there smiling, but he refused to take pictures with me.

Speaker 1 And then we're on this island for the next three days for the celebration of the opening of this hotel. So there are dinners, there's parties, there's there's everything that we're going to.

Speaker 1 There's golf. We're taking group pictures.
Every group picture we take, he kicks me out of.

Speaker 1 He's so mad at you. If there's any human that hates losing, I happily would leave the picture just so I can

Speaker 1 share the story as to why MJ is asking me to get out of the photo. Yeah, it's wonderful.
It's the dream. I called radio stations.

Speaker 1 I talked about this on the news.

Speaker 1 I talked about it on talk shows. I talked to Jordan and Last Dance telling the story.

Speaker 1 I talked about all this other shit because nobody can really,

Speaker 1 only a few people. Hold on, is it Lionel? Nope, it's not Lionel.

Speaker 1 Only a few people can say they beat Jordan one-on-one or some, whatever the fuck it is.

Speaker 1 I can say that. And we laugh about it to this day.

Speaker 1 And he came around to you. You aimed for the fence.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm going to show you my whole self and you're going to like it or not. MJ, I love you, man.
And I know people who are listening are going to tell you this story. I didn't bring this shit up.

Speaker 1 They brought it up,

Speaker 1 but I'm going to talk about it every chance I get.

Speaker 1 Okay, G20. Yes.
G20 comes out April 10th, streaming on Prime Video. Viola Davis, Academy Award winner.
Fuck all that. She's an egot.
Is she an egot? She is an egot. Oh, you're right.
Fuck. Yes.

Speaker 1 A lot of people say she has an egot. I was like, no, she doesn't have an egot.
She is an egot. There's a difference.
Had you known her before this movie? I had known her before.

Speaker 1 We lived near each other.

Speaker 1 Hold on a second, Lionel.

Speaker 1 We've always had an admiration for one another and ABC Together, you know, the show, my show. So I just always had love for her, and she always had love for me.

Speaker 1 And I get a call, hey, Viola wants you as her husband, not come read this, come do this. I had a meeting with the director, and the director was like, I've never cast a movie like this before.

Speaker 1 I've never had someone tell me that this is who they want. This is my husband.
Yeah. I was like, wow.
Yeah, that's awesome. And so that's how it all began.
So she's the U.S. president.

Speaker 1 You're the first man. You guys go down to South Africa for the G20 summit and you bring your kids.
Yes. And then it's diehard.
Yeah. So there's some bad guys.

Speaker 1 Tony Starr, who I fucking love from The Boys. Do you watch The Boys? We have a table read because we shoot this entirely in Cape Town for six months.

Speaker 1 And I was like, who the fuck is this dude with this Australian accent or this New Zealand accent? I was like, I kind of like him. He's cool.
And we shoot the movie. He kicks my ass.
I kick his ass.

Speaker 1 I'm home nine months later. I'm doing some ADR.
And our director, Patricia, it was like, yeah, Anthony, the movie's looking great. We got this great buzz from Tony and his show.

Speaker 1 I was like, what show's Tony on?

Speaker 1 First off, when we were doing scenes together, she would say, Anthony, and we would all turn to her and be like, huh? Right.

Speaker 1 Oh, let me do this. I'll call you by your name, Anthony Starr.
So every time she was anthony star, I would say, huh? Because you're a star. I'm a star.
And I'm Anthony.

Speaker 1 And I have no idea who the southern motherfucker is.

Speaker 1 So I was like, she's talking to me. They just didn't notice his name.
I was like, oh, my bad.

Speaker 1 So that still became my running joke. So she was like, yeah, Anthony Star.
You know, he has a show with the boys. I was like, who the fuck is he on the boys? I watch the boys all the time.

Speaker 1 I was just watching it before I came here. Yeah.
See, Superman. I was like get the fuck out of here.

Speaker 2 Because he just looks so different.

Speaker 1 We were doing press all day yesterday. I told him, I would say, hey, Tony, I had no idea you were who the fuck you were.
Homelander. Yeah, he's homelander.
Homelander then.

Speaker 1 I said, I had no idea idea who the fuck you were when we were working together. Even though you're a fan of the boys.
Yes. That is true.
And he was like, what?

Speaker 1 I was like, dog, when I watch you on the boys, you're seven feet tall to me, motherfucker. Yeah.
You're a fucking superhero. I was like, the way you are on that motherfucking show, it's not you.

Speaker 1 That's not who I work with.

Speaker 1 And he was like, yeah, man. Yeah, out of context.
And it's a testament to who he is as an actor.

Speaker 1 What he does on the boys, the fact that that dude doesn't want an Emmy, I mean, what he's doing on the boys is the bad guy, and you feel bad for him sometimes. Yes, you do.

Speaker 1 It's like when I saw Fela on Broadway, and I went backstage to meet the cast, and I was looking for the dude that played Fela, and I forget his name, but I'm talking to him.

Speaker 1 And as I'm talking to him, I keep looking behind him and looking

Speaker 1 trying to find a dude before he leaves and shit. And then I realize it's him.
And then when I left, I was like, oh my God. Yeah.
Because he was a small, demure dude.

Speaker 1 But as Fela on stage, this motherfucker was larger than the fucking theater that they were in on broadway but when i went to meet him he's just a regular dude and i was like this motherfucker's phenomenal yeah he's a magician that's how i feel about anthony starks as motherfucking homelander on the boys so yeah it looks fucking awesome by the way the trailer is outrageously good viola and i are ex-military and it's a big action film you know terrorists take over the g20 global summit that we're at we end up kicking ass and getting our ass kicked throughout the film she's doing a ton of ass kicking wait till you see it you're gonna be like god damn she's an action star?

Speaker 1 She is. It was amazing to be a part of and amazing to watch.
Well, Anthony, I adore you. I have so much fun when I get to be around you.
This was great.

Speaker 2 We didn't get Lionel, but that's all right. I know.

Speaker 1 TBD.

Speaker 2 You'll let us know if he calls you back.

Speaker 1 I'm going to call him again. See if he's going to pick up again.

Speaker 2 He's really going to be worried.

Speaker 1 Let me see. Did he send a text? Nope, he didn't send a text.
Do you see how many he had to scroll through in the last two hours? I'm going to call again. Hold on.
Let's see.

Speaker 1 Let's see if Lionel Richie's going to pick up.

Speaker 1 He never picks up the phone, though. He's earned the right not to pick up.
I've only spoken to him on the phone maybe twice in

Speaker 1 all the years that I've met him. You went the third time to be on him.
But I know where he lives. I know where he works.
Your call has been forwarded to voicemail.

Speaker 1 This motherfucker saw this call and sent me the voicemail. It already rang three times.
Oh,

Speaker 1 it only rang three and nine.

Speaker 1 Hey, man, you better be shooting the voice right now, Lionel, Richie. I'm still doing this podcast two and a half hours later.
I don't know how the hell

Speaker 1 Dax Jepard got me and fucking do this podcast for two and a half hours. It's only supposed to be for 40 minutes, but we're still trying to reach you.

Speaker 1 And we're not going to end this interview until we talk to you. Lionel, please call me back and not let me out of this room until you call back.

Speaker 1 I love you, Lionel.

Speaker 1 Well, we've done all we can. We've done all we can.
We really have. We really have.

Speaker 2 You know, we're going to do a fact check for this episode next week or in a couple weeks. So by then, he'll probably have called you back and you can relay wet.

Speaker 1 Yeah, see what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 I did that with Oprah on Jimmy's show once.

Speaker 2 And she picked up?

Speaker 1 She didn't pick up. No!

Speaker 1 We can't. I don't even wasted my calls.
Yeah, exactly. There are only a certain amount of calls people like that pick up from you.

Speaker 1 Even selfishly for me, I don't want that bridge to be burnt on my behalf.

Speaker 1 Anthony, adore you. Thanks for coming.
Thank you. Nice meeting you, Anthony.

Speaker 2 You're very nice to meet you. This was so fun.

Speaker 1 Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert.

Speaker 1 If you dare,

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Bump bumpano. Wow.

Speaker 1 He is an arm care expert, but he makes mistakes all the time. They got Monica's here.
She's gotta let him have the facts.

Speaker 1 You have to pretend. This is gonna be a big challenge.
Okay. You have to do your best acting of your life.
You have to pretend you don't know I wore this outfit yesterday.

Speaker 1 Great outfit. Oh, really good job.
Moving on. Next thing, we're on the wrong set.

Speaker 1 There's some cheesy sayings.

Speaker 2 You had a new outfit. I really like it.

Speaker 1 I was wearing it. Well, now you're so good.
Wow, this is really good. Now I'm convinced you didn't see me yesterday.

Speaker 2 I saw you.

Speaker 1 I see you.

Speaker 1 There are some corny sayings on sets. Yeah.
Some of them I like them.

Speaker 2 Which one's your favorite?

Speaker 1 So if you're like filming, you're filming four scenes that day and you're going to be in Crosby's bedroom and then the next scene is going to be in the living room. Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 You like do the scene, they yell cut. You don't really know what they're saying at the monitor.
Are we going to go again? Yep. Do we get it right? And then occasionally ADs will go.

Speaker 1 Okay, we're on the wrong set. That means we did it.
It's time to leave the bedroom

Speaker 1 and go to the next set. And I like that one.

Speaker 2 My favorite.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 My favorite set term is martini shot. Oh, sure.
That's the last shot of the day.

Speaker 1 And do you know the origin of that one?

Speaker 2 They'd probably get martinis.

Speaker 1 I think specifically Hitchcock would always have a martini during the last shot of the day. During the last setup, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. So if you're, if you're like checking in, if you have friends who are on set and you're like, how much longer do you have?

Speaker 1 We're on the martini.

Speaker 2 We're on the martini is like what you want to hear.

Speaker 1 I have a bit of anxiety about this fact check. I know.
So much to get through.

Speaker 2 We have a lot to get through, but we can't do it all today. Okay.
You just have to take, you just have to have peace. Okay.

Speaker 1 I hope people are patient with me if there's multiple Hawaii updates.

Speaker 2 Over time.

Speaker 1 Over that they're being leaked out. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Cause you had a trip.

Speaker 2 Oh, we both had trips. I had, I have a big,

Speaker 2 people think I went to New York.

Speaker 1 I'm trying. Yeah, that didn't get through, right?

Speaker 1 No. Okay, right.
You did not go to New York.

Speaker 2 Yes, I had a trip planned for New York.

Speaker 1 then White Lotus.

Speaker 2 People were, yeah, because we, we had a whole conversation about Buddhism. And I said, oh, no, what am I going to do? I'm about to go to New York.
That's not a place for me to be very Buddhist.

Speaker 2 And you said, you should be Buddhist when you get back.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 I first delayed my trip a day.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And I was like, I'll just need to get my work done and then I'll feel good. I'll feel ready to go.
Yes. And then I still didn't.
And I canceled my trip.

Speaker 1 And you know what's interesting is when you announced that to me,

Speaker 1 at first I was like, I didn't like it for you. Yeah.
Because I was worried your anxiety got the best of you.

Speaker 1 Like you had some anxiety and I wanted you to have that fun trip and I know you love New York.

Speaker 2 Yes, I the most.

Speaker 1 But now on the other side of it, I think you listened to yourself. I did.
And it was the right thing to do. It was.
And you still had your spectacular trip with Callie.

Speaker 2 I had a little girl's trip with Callie, a couple day trip that was, that, yes, we will, we will talk about over the next 10 weeks. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Over

Speaker 1 ending Q2.

Speaker 2 That was so, so delightful and fun. And that was already on the books.
I was going to do both. And it just felt, it didn't feel, I just knew.
I was like, it's not right.

Speaker 2 I'm not supposed to go run around the city for the next four days. And I just need to like

Speaker 1 for a little bit. Are you so selfish that you would have preferred that the flight crashed on the way to New York just so you could say, oh my God, I knew

Speaker 1 I knew not to take that flight. No.

Speaker 1 I bet there's someone that's bad enough.

Speaker 2 That's really

Speaker 2 bad of a person. If you have that thought, I'm not judging.

Speaker 1 Crazy Buddhists, don't do that.

Speaker 2 But you need to get some help. You need to get yourself into therapy quick.

Speaker 1 Well, you would definitely, if you canceled the flight and then you saw in the news it crashed, you would have an enormous burst of gratitude.

Speaker 2 Relief, yes.

Speaker 2 But not like, oh, I knew it. And the dark.

Speaker 2 I might. Okay.

Speaker 2 I wonder if there would be a part of me that's like, oh my God, I have powers.

Speaker 1 Yes, you would. Everyone would.
Well, you wouldn't.

Speaker 1 I don't know that you'd say you have powers, but you'd say, well, now I have to really take seriously that the universe sends me signals and I need to listen.

Speaker 2 Remember,

Speaker 2 there's a famous actress that I thought of at random.

Speaker 1 And we just got resolution on that last week.

Speaker 1 It was diabetes related.

Speaker 2 It was Michelle Trachtenberg.

Speaker 2 Very sad, very, very sad. And yeah, it seems like it was a diabetes complication, which I hate to do this.
This seems really flippant, but that's a ding, ding, ding.

Speaker 1 Oh, no.

Speaker 1 I know, because this is for Anthony Anderson. Oh, and he's diabetic.

Speaker 2 And we talk a lot about it and how complications are really serious.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's diabetes. I just sent Aaron ding-ding-ding.
I just sent Aaron.

Speaker 1 There is a remix. A DJ made a mix of

Speaker 1 the diabetes commercials. Wow.
And it's pretty good. And and maybe I'll play it later at some point in this.

Speaker 2 Um, speaking of something else bad, I'm sure you heard about Eric Dane that he has ALS,

Speaker 1 yeah, I've seen him, it's heartbreaking. That's so sad.
That's in the news now, yeah.

Speaker 2 I figured he might have known from meetings, but like,

Speaker 1 no, it really breaks my heart because when he was here, obviously, his

Speaker 1 well, he didn't know what it was yet, right? His arm was um kind of atrophying, and he thought he had a virus and he's seen specialists.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 yeah, it's a real fucking bummer. It really breaks my heart.
I hate it. I know, I know.
Yeah. Did you say anything about the Pope yesterday?

Speaker 2 The Pope died. I thought it was today.
Oh, God.

Speaker 1 You know what? No, I meant jinxing his death. Huh? I meant, did you jinx his death? Oh, oh, oh, no.

Speaker 2 Well, kind of. We had David Sederis on, and we were talking about the Pope.

Speaker 2 Although he was already quite ill at the time.

Speaker 1 He'd already been hanging on by a bit of a thread oh no but is so he he died on easter today he died he made it through the rising i guess if i were a pope i and i had my way and they said you're gonna die this month yeah i'd like to go on friday on good friday

Speaker 2 when

Speaker 2 jesus yeah passed you say passed excuse me past be respectful um yeah so then you're that's a lot of doom and gloom though sorry but this is life life is happy and sad all at once. You're right.

Speaker 1 You're right. You're right.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 2 Okay, we can move on to something happy.

Speaker 1 So I did take my trip.

Speaker 2 Yes, you did.

Speaker 1 It took

Speaker 1 Lincoln Delta and I, Hawaii, eight days.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 You did a solo trip with your girls.

Speaker 1 The headline is

Speaker 1 incredible trip. Great.
I'll remember it. I'll be on my deathbed and I'll go.

Speaker 2 They did that.

Speaker 1 I'm proud of you.

Speaker 2 Okay, so that's interesting.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you wouldn't wouldn't like that, but I'll tell you why it's okay to like it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Or why I think it's okay to like it. Because I was talking with a friend from AA, and there are things in life that give me esteem, self-esteem, and there are things that take away self-esteem.
Yes.

Speaker 1 And so, and, and they're, you know, they're pretty correlated with challenge. Sure.
Right. Sure.
But it was, it was just an incredible trip. It definitely had its challenges.

Speaker 1 I might have been a little naive. Okay.
Okay. And then I was wrestling with that.

Speaker 2 What were you expecting? Okay, because this is an expectations lesson as well.

Speaker 1 I guess I was misled because when Kristen has gone away to film, which has happened throughout the child,

Speaker 1 their childhood, it always goes really well. I do very well with the two of them by myself.

Speaker 1 And I was underestimating, like, we have our routine, they go to places, they're in their house, they can separate.

Speaker 1 And so I was a little naive. And I've taken trips with them solo.

Speaker 2 And those are always individually.

Speaker 1 And those are truly kind of effortless and fun yeah it's just like being with a buddy but this was you know there were days where one of them was mad at the other

Speaker 1 for the whole day the first few days and i started getting a little a little nervous yeah and then i was and this is kind of funny this is one of the many stories so

Speaker 1 My mother would have, I know what she would have done because she did it many times. We'd be on a vacation.
We'd be acting like assholes.

Speaker 1 Also, give me so much fucking respect for my mother's whole single parenthood single parent three kids oh my god god bless laura lebo i sent her a message going you know what i need to just tell you you're you're a warrior and i admire you yeah but her move was

Speaker 1 guys

Speaker 1 we're going home tomorrow morning oh there were a lot of those speeches threats yes and by the way they weren't threats they weren't empty threats my my mom i almost said my wife

Speaker 2 Boy, very Freudian stuff.

Speaker 1 My mom,

Speaker 1 we had some rules in the house. There was no begging, period.
And you already know this about me. She did not play begging.

Speaker 1 And there, we left many places where we had put a lot of effort into it and we had driven there and we didn't get our shit together. She said, this happens again.
We're, we're going home. And we did.

Speaker 1 She, she never made empty threats.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 1 So I'm remembering, like, first of all, I'm feeling that. I'm like, I'm going to tell them.
We're going home.

Speaker 1 We're going to go home. Uh-huh.
And then I'm saying, you must, you must do a little, you must grow a little bit from what you were given. Okay, yeah.

Speaker 1 And so it was a moment where it was like, we tried to go snorkeling, maybe the third attempt.

Speaker 1 One of them always had a thing. I got stabbed by a sea urchin.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And it was another failed attempt and then the fight. And then I was, I was in my head.
I'm like, I'm telling him, we're going to go home. And then I'm like, I'm going to meditate.

Speaker 1 I'm going to sit on this lawn chair and I'm going to meditate because I want to be the best version of myself. And I am going to confront this.

Speaker 1 I also, I am not going to have five days more of fighting. Yeah.
But I got to do it in a very healthy way. And I'm about 12 minutes into my 20-minute meditation.

Speaker 1 And while I'm meditating, I hear a blood-curdling screaming. And I'm thinking, I'm like, oh, fuck, some, some parents got to

Speaker 1 write someone's deal with something. And the scream's getting louder and louder, louder and louder until it's obviously five feet from me.

Speaker 1 And I open my eyes and I look, and my sweet little Delti is fucking covered in blood. Like, I don't even know where to begin to get.

Speaker 2 That is so scary.

Speaker 1 Yes. And she has at least four hotel employees trailing her because they're obviously scared for her.
God knows what liability fears they're having. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 They want us to go in an ambulance to be, you know, I mean, virtually, they want us to be as safe as humanly possible. But I know my Delta.
What she needs immediately is everyone to leave.

Speaker 2 Yep, yep, yep, yep.

Speaker 2 She doesn't like that.

Speaker 1 Embarrassment would hurt more than right. The attention.
She got that from me. She got that from you.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 you know, it's okay. Come here, you know, trying to get a calm, calm, calm.

Speaker 2 Are you looking for where?

Speaker 1 No, I know right now we need to like, we need to go from 15 to 10 so that I can then say, okay, mama, let me, let me take a look and just see what we're dealing with.

Speaker 1 So, as it turned out, it was just a lip, but it was good enough that as she was screaming and crying, it was like on her arms and whatever.

Speaker 1 I knew it was serious, but also, you never really know, right? Because they, they all, they kind of have this reaction to most every injury. Scared? I wasn't scared.
Really?

Speaker 1 No, I'm like, this is an emergency level

Speaker 1 trauma. The bleeding has stopped.
We don't need stitches.

Speaker 2 But you weren't worried about like a hemorrhage. I wasn't.
You weren't watching enough ER, but okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, had I just done

Speaker 1 35 hours of the pit in ER, maybe.

Speaker 1 And we get it all calmed up. Now, this is where I'll give D-Money a lot of credit.
As the next few days wore on, and especially day three after this thing, I'm looking at her in the sunshine.

Speaker 1 I go, sweetheart. Well, and she told me, she goes, Daddy, I didn't even put my hands out.
She fell, she slipped on the concrete next to the pool.

Speaker 1 And she said, I didn't even put my hands out, which I kind of was like, I bet she put them out a little bit.

Speaker 1 She's not lying to you. She fell directly on her face.
So a few days later, she had a black and blue cheek, black and blue chin. She whacked her face so bad.
Anywho,

Speaker 1 I did make this speech. It was a very gentle version.
And everyone got their shit together. It was a big turn.
Okay. We still had stuff.
Sure. You're going to have stuff.
You're going to have stuff.

Speaker 1 But there was a reset, and I really appreciate it.

Speaker 2 What did you say?

Speaker 1 I said,

Speaker 1 it is very hard for me to be on this trip with one of you really mad

Speaker 1 at any given time. One of you is very, very mad.
And I said, and I want to be able to take you on these trips if mom's working. And I have to be honest, next year comes around,

Speaker 1 if it continues like this, I'm not sure I'm going to take this trip again. Now we're going home, still a threat.
I don't know. People probably think that was bad parenting.
Whatever.

Speaker 1 They did hear, oh, we're not entitled to these trips if we act like assholes. He's saying, I can't.
I'm basically saying I can't handle it. Yeah.
Okay. So that's a great reset.

Speaker 1 Let's not even talk about just single parent the sunblock routine when you're in Hawaii because it's like every 40 minutes I got to slither their whole body. My almost my full time.

Speaker 1 I'm glad you did it. Oh, I did.
I'm like, if I bring them home sunburn, that's a wrap. That's hard to defend.
Yep. We go to dinner that night, and I'm, I'm now feeling, I'm feeling like a failure.

Speaker 1 I'm like, I should be able to coordinate some kind of peaceful, fun. We're in paradise at a beautiful hotel.

Speaker 1 You know, it should be easy.

Speaker 1 It should be. And so I'm, I'm not going to blame a 12 and a 10 year old.
I'm like, I'm not managing something correctly.

Speaker 1 And I was so relieved that as we were at these dinners, we were eavesdropping. And I want to tell you, shit's going down on all family vacations.
That was comforting. That's standard family vacation.

Speaker 1 People fight, you think you're going to go to paradise and everyone's going to be so grateful the whole time. That's not what happens.
That's not how it works. No, you're in a smaller space.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You have to compromise on schedules way more and you get what you sell.

Speaker 2 When I went on my girls' trip.

Speaker 1 Yes, you and Callie.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we went, we went to Napa.

Speaker 1 Wine country, if you don't know what's happening. Wine country.
Yeah. California.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 1 food country.

Speaker 2 Well, exactly. And turns out shopping country a little bit.
They had some really cute shopping.

Speaker 1 We

Speaker 2 were just there for two nights. It was a quick trip, but we did so much.
And we stayed at the Auberge du

Speaker 2 Sale. I don't know if that's how you spell it.

Speaker 1 I love a hotel that I can't pronounce. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 And I love an Auberge hotel.

Speaker 2 That's a line of hotels i've talked about the one in austin before commodore perry yeah very gorgeous very cool we have visited you there yeah yeah and it's beautiful and um this one was ex

Speaker 2 it was so stunning and exquisite and well they got they got my attention

Speaker 1 because they lent you guys exact an electric g-wagon well they not us they have

Speaker 2 a lot a fleet of mercedes different mercedes mercedes that they loan out to the guests you just have to like you know sign a waiver and you can take it out yeah in wine country i know which

Speaker 2 is a little like wow i was like this is so nice because it's because things are a bit things aren't like five minutes away from each other you do have to drive a little bit yeah and um and it's a pain like to uber everywhere or to have a driver so um and we only did one winery so we weren't like bopping around from winery to winery but anyway it was such a nice amenity.

Speaker 2 And I did feel because she-I urged you to make the car.

Speaker 1 The car will do a 365-degree turn like a tank.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I really wanted you guys to do that. And you said you might find a parking lot and try it.
And then you told me you didn't have time.

Speaker 1 We didn't have time. You definitely had time to do a 360, but I was.

Speaker 2 We didn't have time for that. Okay.
But it was, we were like excited to try the G-Wagon. Callie drove it.
And

Speaker 1 she did a great job.

Speaker 2 And turns out there were a couple. Well, I ran into many arm cherries on the trip.
And again, everyone was so incredible.

Speaker 2 One, one I had a kind of regretful encounter with, not regretful, but we, Callie and I were in the little like shopping area, St. Helena.
And we went into this little coffee shop just to get a coffee.

Speaker 2 And we were waiting for the coffee. The place was pretty crowded, but like we didn't think that much of it.
We were waiting for the coffee and there was an arm cherry sitting there.

Speaker 2 And she said, hey, Monica, you know, I love the show, whatever. And she, and I was like, oh, are you, are you from here? And they weren't.
They were, I forgot, oh, God, I'm sorry. I forget.

Speaker 2 I want to say Chicago.

Speaker 1 That sounds right.

Speaker 2 Because of Rob. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And they, and she was like, no, we're just on the ship. Got to, had to get the English muffin.
And I was like, yeah.

Speaker 2 And she like kind of pointed to her food a little bit, but I didn't really know what she was talking about. But of course.

Speaker 1 Well, I would have thought, oh, this this place is known for their English muffin. I better get one.

Speaker 2 Well, yeah, but it didn't,

Speaker 2 I wasn't getting that vibe.

Speaker 1 I was just like, oh, oh, okay.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And then I did feel embarrassed because I should know.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I should know about English muffins and fancy foods and stuff. So anyway, I ran out of there as fast as I could.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 And then covering your head and shame.

Speaker 2 The next day when we were about to, when we were leaving, the morning we took out the G-Wagon, we went to Yantville, which is the food area where French laundry is, all these other Bouchon, all these things.

Speaker 2 The person working at the front desk, Phoebe.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 2 and I will circle back to Phoebe.

Speaker 2 She

Speaker 2 told Callie that there was a place in Yonteville known for their English muffins and that we should go.

Speaker 2 And it was called like Minnie, according to Callie, Minnie Model, but I don't know if that's right. She got it right.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 So we go there and then we're in line and Callie was like, oh,

Speaker 2 I think that coffee shop we went to was just Model. Like this is a version of that, like another little small version.
And I was like, this makes total sense what the arm chair was saying.

Speaker 1 So I was right.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Okay.
So anyway, this armchair was in the know. Apparently it's like Oprah's favorite English muffin and it was insane.

Speaker 1 It was.

Speaker 2 Oh my God. It was so good.
Poor Callie, she's gluten-free. She has celiac.
So she couldn't have it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Did she even to play the game in her head like oh sourdough's got less no she didn't even make it said

Speaker 2 she said when she was looking at it she was like if i was going to cheat she's like which i never would because it's not like mine yeah and a lot of i can live with my yeah she'll be on the ground yeah yeah she's like that might be that would be the one even though she's not going to do it anyway she got some for max max loved them oh he did and he's a chef for people who don't exactly

Speaker 2 so this all circles back right this is relevant because um when we first got to the hotel

Speaker 2 there was

Speaker 2 a two like freshly batched cocktails

Speaker 2 with my name and callie's name yeah and they were called cherry on top yeah and i was like is this a weird sim is it a wink Or is it a wink? Is it a sim or is it a wink?

Speaker 2 I don't know, but I don't want to like.

Speaker 1 You want to mind your ego. Not a single screen.

Speaker 2 Exactly. I was like, I think it's, I don't know.

Speaker 1 Get over it. You're like, get over yourself.

Speaker 2 Yeah. But it had.

Speaker 1 The word cherry existed before your parents. Exactly.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. And it had two little cocktail glasses with two like cherries.
It was so, so cute. And also, the cocktail was incredible.

Speaker 1 Oh, did you text Bert?

Speaker 2 Oh, fuck. I got to text Bert.
You need to.

Speaker 1 I need to text. I guess it'll be a three-way text, but he DM'd me.

Speaker 2 Bert Chrysler.

Speaker 1 Bert Chrysler. But he's not allowed to be on a text with a woman, which is hilarious.
I have to receive it. So I have to be on any communication between the two of you.
You do.

Speaker 1 What would be be incredible is if you guys did start a huge affair and it was just in front of me. And I'm like, well, I don't know how this helped.
Now I just have to observe this whole thing.

Speaker 1 What if because I was there, he was felt free to just go nuts and say so much dirty shit. Yeah, like I think about your body all the time.
What did I say? It was all.

Speaker 2 But Dax was on there.

Speaker 1 It was fine. Okay, anyways, go ahead.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Okay. So, yeah, when Bert was on this show, we had a whole cocktail conversation.
We told each other what to have.

Speaker 2 I told him to get a bee's knees. He told me to get a shot of Fournette and Kampari.
And then also separately a Kampari Spritz.

Speaker 2 Okay, then Jess, Anna, and I went to Little Dom's and I did get the Fournette. We all had it.
So I posted a picture of this.

Speaker 1 And he liked it. And then he responded.
Yes.

Speaker 2 Oh, good. He responded.
He says, I have to get you drunk on my cooking show. Lots of exclamation points.
And then he responded, that sounded creepy.

Speaker 1 Where's Dax?

Speaker 2 He said, that sounded creepy. We have to get drunk on my cooking show,

Speaker 1 which is very, very funny.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he's, I like that he's aware of not being creepy. I think that's a great thing.
I do too. Anywho, so I need to send Bert that cocktail.
He'll love it. Yes.

Speaker 2 But anyway, so I was like, well, maybe it was a wink, but probably not. Probably just something sweet they do.
And still, that could be the case.

Speaker 2 But then there was this cute little card they wrote. And I didn't really understand it at first.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Because there were two hats for Callie and I that they had given us. And and then there was a little note that said something along the lines of,

Speaker 2 here are some hats, so you can be in quotes, a new Monica.

Speaker 2 And then I forgot that we had just talked about hats on the fact channel.

Speaker 1 And that you're a new Monica.

Speaker 2 I felt like a new Monica when I wear them. So, so we did have some arm cherry fans who worked at the Auberg, and it was really, really sweet.
And I do believe one of them was Phoebe. Okay.

Speaker 2 And she was just so lovely. So I wanted to shout out Phoebe.
Oh, and then, oh, yes, because Callie went to the front. I slept in on the last day.

Speaker 1 Oh, good for you.

Speaker 2 And Callie went to the front and she was doing all these arrangements for the car and this. And she said, so who did that cocktail?

Speaker 2 And then she said, Phoebe got really red.

Speaker 2 And then Callie was like, oh, no, she got worried that she felt

Speaker 2 I was embarrassed or something. Sure.
And so she.

Speaker 1 Prison Monica won't leave the room.

Speaker 2 That's why she's not here. She's really upset.

Speaker 2 It has nothing to do with the fact that she sleeps 12 hours a night.

Speaker 1 Lazy bomb.

Speaker 2 Yeah. So she, so, um, and Callie said, I'm just, it was just so sweet and we are so appreciative.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Monica loved it. That's not why she's not here.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And then, and Phoebe said, well, we have, we have, there were a few fans who work here.

Speaker 2 And then, and Callie said, it was just so nice for me because I, you know, I've been around the whole ride and it's just really sweet for me to see see that. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 And she said, well, she talks about you a lot too.

Speaker 1 She was like, oh boy. Okay.
So you tried the 360-degree turn. And

Speaker 1 I said 365-degree, didn't I? I'm just now remembering. That's how many days are in a year.
There's only 360 degrees in a circle, though.

Speaker 1 How embarrassing.

Speaker 1 Some gearheads, like upset.

Speaker 2 Someone's upset.

Speaker 1 Stay tuned for more armchair experts

Speaker 1 you dare.

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Speaker 1 Okay, I had to get involved with something and I'm wondering. I think I finally did it right.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And it was one of, it was during one of, but this was post-reset. So this was fine.
Okay. We found this like very, very desolate beach.
Nobody's there. We pull over.

Speaker 1 The girls are playing in the thing. Then it's time to leave.
We're walking back. Delta steps on a thorn.
She's barefoot. She then goes and takes a breather.
Oh, nice.

Speaker 1 So now Lincoln and I are just sitting in the car. And I'm looking in my rearview mirror and there's a woman walking with two little kids through this little dirt parking lot.

Speaker 1 And when I say little, this little boy is like two and a half. A little blonde, cute little boy.

Speaker 1 And I hear,

Speaker 1 get away from that car. And I look and she grabs him by the neck.
Oh, no. And drags his little body.

Speaker 1 And I'm going to get out.

Speaker 2 Oh, boy, this is comedy.

Speaker 1 Right. Like, there's no, I'm not going to watch this woman do this.
Oh, no. It was really.
Lincoln saw it too. Like, if I need backup.
Like,

Speaker 1 it was, it was abusive. It was bad.
Oh, God.

Speaker 1 And then he tries to get free and then she grabs his head again and he falls. And then.

Speaker 1 And so I rolled on the window. I'm about to get out.
And then I rolled on the window. And I go, no, no, no, gentle, gentle, gentle, gentle.

Speaker 1 It's gentle, gentle, gentle, but also the subtext is: I'm getting out of this car if you don't. Oh my God.
And she let go of his neck

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 said,

Speaker 1 Come on. Then she grabbed his hand and started guiding him, which was a huge improvement.

Speaker 2 Do you think it was a babysitter?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 You're sure? Yeah,

Speaker 1 the woman and the boy looked like she was, she looked, she had some hard miles on her.

Speaker 2 Let's just say grandma, auntie.

Speaker 1 No, no, mom, mom, mom.

Speaker 1 It was rough.

Speaker 2 That's scary.

Speaker 1 I know. I know.
That there's little people who are getting

Speaker 1 treated like that. I hate it.

Speaker 2 It's so sad. That's like the woman I saw outside Covell, remember, like being so horrible to her daughter.
And I, yeah, I don't know what you're supposed to do.

Speaker 1 I know, because again, we already talked about it, but it's like, I'm not going to say anything that's going to change this woman's behavior for life, obviously.

Speaker 1 And in fact, I could probably make it worse. And probably she might take it out on the kid.

Speaker 2 Exactly.

Speaker 1 And you need to know, however hard you are on me about my aggressive reactions to things, Lincoln

Speaker 1 she will not stand for it. I like that.
Yeah, it's great. I'm glad she's like that.

Speaker 1 And she was very approving. Oh, she was.
She was. She thought I had done it well.
So I finally

Speaker 1 did it. Away no was mad at me.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
But what were you going to do if you got out? Steal him, put him in your car, drive away, keep him, give them to me?

Speaker 1 No, but my inclination was to get in front of her face, like, so that she knew I'm not asking you to stop doing this.

Speaker 2 It wouldn't have helped.

Speaker 1 Well, it would have. She would have, she would have, she would have been afraid.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 2 But I think that will have a negative impact later on. If we have any social worker listeners, maybe they can tell us what you're supposed to do.

Speaker 2 I mean, I really don't know what you're supposed to do.

Speaker 1 I don't know either. And then, and I just happen to see a lot of stuff.
So I saw this family get in a fight behind us. And it was the way the man was talking to the wife was such a bummer.

Speaker 1 And she had no, like,

Speaker 1 she,

Speaker 1 she went like comatose.

Speaker 1 And then she had to leave the table with one of the boys that was pissing the dad off. And then I saw a grandpa grab a phone out of a teenager's hand at breakfast.

Speaker 2 It's so white-loaded.

Speaker 1 And I was like, holy cow, people are handling their business in certain ways.

Speaker 1 And then the anthropologist and me really has to now work through this whole thing where I go like, well,

Speaker 1 you're assuming your way is the correct way.

Speaker 1 And clearly people have been raising kids all kinds of way in every kind of culture. Yep.
And I don't want to be high and mighty and self-righteous. Yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know. I don't know.
It's,

Speaker 1 but there's a lot of shit going down. People are really rough.
And, and also, and also going,

Speaker 1 and people are having a harder time than me. Right.
So that's in my mix. I'm not stretched to the limit.

Speaker 1 You know, I'm not, I'm not my mom on vacation where it's like, I can't afford the vacation we're on, but I really want to show my kids the country.

Speaker 1 What was tempting is to go all these spoiled rich people, but that's wrong. I was at the shitty hotels too, and it was darly there too.
You know what it is? Is it's it's hard to raise kids.

Speaker 1 Adam Grant just had a post. You would have loved this.
I was debating whether or not to forward it to you, but Adam Grant had another social scientist on that's done all this work. Oh, I saw it.

Speaker 1 You saw it. I almost reposted it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Yeah, and it's just in a nutshell. It just says, kids make your life worse.

Speaker 2 There's like they reduce happiness.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Now, there's some things.
Then you get into, though, you get into the Yuval Harari, like your narrative self does feel one way and whether or not you should be happy all the time.

Speaker 1 That's what you're always servicing. That's a bigger thing.
But it was interesting that the data is absolutely consistent and undeniable. They make your life worse.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, yeah.

Speaker 2 But I know for a lot of reasons, it's not just like, oh, because they're annoying. It's because there's stress that comes with raising people.

Speaker 2 If you, if you care at all.

Speaker 1 And they don't act.

Speaker 2 They don't act. They don't do what you want them to do.

Speaker 1 They haven't figured it out.

Speaker 2 If you tell them a way to be, it doesn't mean they're just going to listen and be that way. Like, it's hard.
And people are their worst selves around their family.

Speaker 2 I mean, I was just, I was like thinking about all our vacations when you were talking about yours. And I was like, yeah, we just like yelled at each other.
I was just so mean.

Speaker 2 Like, I was just such a brat. And, and, you know, I just remember us going to New York and I wanted to go to Serendipity so bad.
The movie? No, the chocolate shop.

Speaker 1 Oh, so bad.

Speaker 2 It was the only thing I wanted to do. And I brought it up every day.
It was like, and it was like, we'll go, we'll go. I promise we'll go.
I promise we'll go.

Speaker 2 And then we go and it's a three-hour line. I was like, well, you, you said this.
And they were like, we're not doing this. And I was like, oh, my.

Speaker 2 And I, I like could not handle the fact that we were not going to go to serendipity. Yes.
And

Speaker 1 yes.

Speaker 1 Look, it's just like that's where Lincoln and I's stuff comes up is that we have two know-it-alls in the family. Yep.
Who got to make the game plan?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And of course, like we get, we get to the airport. We take a little tram to the airport.
It ends at the terminal. I know that the check-in's inside.
Lincoln, I read a sign. It's down there.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, okay.

Speaker 1 Okay. Well, and I say, even if, even if you're right, it would make the most sense to peek in this one before we walk all the way down.

Speaker 1 That's I read the sign

Speaker 1 and I'm like, okay, I'm seeing that this is me. Like, this is what it was like to travel with me.
This is what it's like to be around me.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I deserve this. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And if anyone should be able to figure out how to deal with this, it should be me, but I don't know how to because I'm the same way.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, there's the idea of me walking to another terminal that I fucking know United's not inside there. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Which I won't die. I would rather die.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Again, I intellectually know I'm not gonna die if that happens, but I'm there's no way I can do that, yeah. And then I'm like, you know, okay, so we're both this way, I'm 50 and I paid for all this.

Speaker 1 Does that not get me the like tiebreaker vote? Shouldn't the parent have the fucking tiebreaker vote?

Speaker 2 But not because you paid.

Speaker 2 That's where that's where the guy

Speaker 2 on the phone. Like, that guy's that.
You know, he's like, I paid for all this, and so everyone better just do what I say.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that guy I had diagnosed was, I paid for all this.

Speaker 1 You better be happy nonstop. Yeah.
Because this is my vacation.

Speaker 2 That's what's comfortable for him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So Lincoln and I, you know, and then it's like, what line do you get in for anything? Lincoln and I have a very strong opinion.

Speaker 1 And it's me.

Speaker 1 That's what makes it so hard.

Speaker 2 But it is tricky because like, I know more.

Speaker 1 Listen, I am percentage-wise, I am right more. Well, I am.

Speaker 2 You've you've had more time on earth yeah i should goddamn hope at 50 i know a little more about the world than my 12 year old yes i would hope so too now this is where i do think you got you both you and kristen are very kind to the kids like you the fact that that's even a thought and i mean i don't have them but i do know i do know me that if like even if i was with your kids if lincoln was like i saw a sign i i would say

Speaker 2 i would say oh you might be right but we're going to do this. Right.
And like, that's it.

Speaker 1 And that's like, right, but that's

Speaker 1 not going to work.

Speaker 2 Well, then she's going to stand there. She's like me.

Speaker 1 She'll walk. Okay.
She'll, she'll literally, like, this is why it's, it's like, it's nuclear assured annihilation.

Speaker 1 She and I will both, we're both the type of people that will be like, fine, you guys go do it the wrong way. I'm going by myself to do it.
Now, this is bad,

Speaker 1 but I'm admitting this to you.

Speaker 1 So I know if push comes to shub, she will walk by herself away from us us and go to where she thinks it is at. So I have got to prevent that because she's that strong and I love it about her.

Speaker 1 I know, but when she's older, I'll be delighted she ish.

Speaker 2 Like there are parts of you as an adult that's like, maybe, you know, I don't know.

Speaker 1 We could, we could work on.

Speaker 1 We could work on it. We're working.
We're working on it. We are working on it.

Speaker 1 And then, and all to say, I, uh, I was, I was quite proud when I got home of the job I did, even though I did things wrong and everything.

Speaker 1 I do like who I am. Good.
That's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 I like who you are.

Speaker 1 It's hard. Sometimes it's hard.

Speaker 2 But so you never,

Speaker 2 you're right. Maybe it just wouldn't work.

Speaker 1 I tried that way with her for a while.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I want to believe I'm smart enough to go, well, this is what my dad did.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 my dad reaped what he sowed. I said, I don't need you.
Like, if I'm going to, if, if to be with you is to surrender to your will, guess what? I don't need to be with you.

Speaker 1 So I know I had that in me to walk away from him.

Speaker 1 And I know she has it in her too. And I'm not going to let that happen.
So that's the driving force behind me going, I have to do it differently than my dad did because I know what the result was.

Speaker 1 I was, I, look, I,

Speaker 1 I need her more than she needs me emotionally.

Speaker 1 Because I was there. That's true.
No, no, because I was there. I'm like, I don't I don't care if I don't talk to my dad for a year, which happened numerous times.

Speaker 1 That's way easier on me than it was on him, I'm sure. And if Lincoln didn't talk to me for a year, it would devastate me.
So I have to be realistic.

Speaker 1 It's like the thing that Bill Gates's therapist finally told him is you're fighting an unfair war. Your parents are going to love you and never withhold that from you.

Speaker 1 And you can withhold it for them. And it's not a fair war.
Yes.

Speaker 1 And you're going to win. And so that's on the table.
So I, I, if there's two variables in this equation and one of them has to to bend,

Speaker 1 it's got to be me because it's not going to be her. I know it.
Cause it's, because I was the same one.

Speaker 2 I know, but what was happening with your dad

Speaker 2 is different than what's happening with you at the airport taking them to the four seasons now. Like for real.

Speaker 2 So if I'm just saying, if like she did do that, if she was like, I'm not talking to my dad for a month because he wanted to go one way in the airport taking us on a trip.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 She needs to be straightened out a little bit. But that's not fair.

Speaker 1 Listen, but I think you have to be realistic about what you're doing. I don't think she would.

Speaker 1 No, she went in. She's not.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It also helps like she's a girl and I'm a boy. There's something there that's that is helpful that my dad and I did.
And my dad and I had that thing and then mail and mail.

Speaker 1 So it was like, you know, and he wasn't around. So I only saw him once in a while.

Speaker 1 Because I was seeing

Speaker 1 once a month and he'd tell me what the program was. And I'm like, according to who? Why are you anyway?

Speaker 2 You didn't respect him because of what, because of his actions.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 2 So then why would you listen to him if he's saying this thing?

Speaker 1 I just know, and you've seen it in me. I can

Speaker 1 destroy myself

Speaker 1 in another person.

Speaker 1 Yep. I have that switch.

Speaker 2 You do.

Speaker 1 I do. And I think I gave it to my beautiful little girl.
That's okay. And so I just have to do everything in my power to not be my dad.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 surrender because I want to be with her and I don't want her to write me. But can I push back a little?

Speaker 2 I think you potentially, we don't know. There's no way to go back in time.

Speaker 2 But you potentially wouldn't have, it wouldn't be such a struggle for you now if you had been practicing since you were 12.

Speaker 1 If you had been put in the position to really start practicing that skill for that long you've been like she's better off early starting to understand you know what sometimes i'm gonna have to surrender she does all the time yeah and so here's what's great because i don't get in these wars with her she will come to that yeah she'll calm down yeah and she comes to it so she has built a lot of trust with me if i thought she never corrected her behavior and she was just my way or the highway and fuck everyone, and then I don't even care and I don't redirect and I don't feel bad and I don't come say sorry, that's one thing.

Speaker 1 That's not at all what I'm dealing with. Right.
It's in the moment I can have a power struggle with her. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Or I can have the faith that she will recognize she was being really bullheaded and she'll apologize, which is 90% of the time what happens. And I wasn't given that leash.
Yeah. My mother did.

Speaker 1 So my mother knew how to deal with me. Obviously, I never had any power struggles with my mom.

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 1 And Lincoln and Kristen knows how to handle Lincoln in a way that I just, I, I can't.

Speaker 2 Well, Kristen is fine to walk to the other side.

Speaker 1 Yep, exactly.

Speaker 2 She's not, it doesn't bother her.

Speaker 1 And in my defense, Delta has things, but they just don't bother me. Exactly.
And they bother Kristen because they're her things. Yeah.

Speaker 2 But in life,

Speaker 2 both kids, every person,

Speaker 2 are going to encounter people

Speaker 2 who trigger that thing. And it's good to have practice.
Of course.

Speaker 1 There's two things, and Kristen always is pointing this out to me, and it's very, very true. So there's, there's,

Speaker 1 there, I'm, I'm not saying

Speaker 1 she's ADHD. I'm not saying that.
She's not been diagnosed with that.

Speaker 1 She goes through school just fine. She does not have a disorder.

Speaker 1 But I just had Tim Simons on

Speaker 1 Mom's Car with Aaron.

Speaker 2 Oh, nice.

Speaker 1 And it was so fun. And he got diagnosed very early with ADHD, and he knows a lot about it.
And he was telling me some very interesting things about it.

Speaker 1 One of them is there's really common comorbidities with ADHD. One of them is an overactive sense of justice.

Speaker 1 Like a really strong, like it drives you nuts.

Speaker 1 And then self-abuse

Speaker 1 when you've erred, like self-flagellation.

Speaker 2 Because you are so confident. I think that's part of it.
It's like there's such a double down that if you're wrong, you can't just be like, oops, because you made a hole to do about it.

Speaker 1 Well, that's one of them. But then there's just simple mistakes.
Like, I tripped. Yeah.
I made a mess. I spilled the thing.
I said something I shouldn't have said.

Speaker 1 Those kind of things Delta can shrug right off. Those kind of things Lincoln will ruminate on for a very long time.
Like very self-punishing. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So I relate a lot to both of those.

Speaker 2 Yeah, me too.

Speaker 1 And so

Speaker 1 I know what it feels like. So my

Speaker 1 thing,

Speaker 1 it's not like I won't listen to authority as much as like,

Speaker 1 if I have evaluated something is unjust. Like I'm a human too, with a brain too, and we have two different opinions.
And it is unjust that yours just overrides mine. That was such a hard thing for me.

Speaker 1 It happened with teachers. It happened with stepdads.
It happened with my brother. It was like, we're equal.

Speaker 1 I don't care that you're older. I don't care that you have a degree.
I don't care. Like I'm a human and you're a human and we both are intelligent and I have one opinion, you have another.

Speaker 1 And you're telling me I have to let go of mine because what? Because you have some status, whether it's age or this or that. That was so painful for me.

Speaker 1 I'm not excusing it, but I do know it was extremely painful for me. Sure.

Speaker 2 But you can see now, you just said it. You just said it like 15 minutes ago that

Speaker 2 it's objectively true. You having so many more years

Speaker 2 and knowledge and experience in life does earn you that.

Speaker 1 It does earn you. It does.
But it does. And I'm looking at it from that also mature point of view.
Yeah. It's just hard to talk about.
It's a lot. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's hard to, I think it's hard to be a parent.

Speaker 1 It is. And then

Speaker 1 on the other side is the reward of it is also, it's equally matched.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Let's see if we can find the thing that Adam Grant said.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.
Yeah. And then I'll find the diabetes song.
Oh, great.

Speaker 1 I can't wait. I can't believe you don't want to that.

Speaker 1 It's easy for me to find

Speaker 1 it. Of course they send it to you.
The last child leaves the house. On average, parents get happier, don't they? The best data suggests happiness increases when the kids leave home and the dog dies.

Speaker 1 You go to some parents and you go, do children make you happy? And parents will say, oh, of course they do. They make me happier than anything else.

Speaker 1 We know from tons of data that those parents are wrong. That children, in fact, have a small but negative impact on the happiness of their parents.
But their parents don't know it.

Speaker 1 Those data tell you something about parenthood and happiness. There may be many reasons to have children, but making yourself more happy in the moment is not one of them.

Speaker 2 Yeah, really good. Okay, Anthony.
So

Speaker 2 he achieved a Guinness World Record by successfully hitting a golf ball 106 feet with the world's longest usable golf club.

Speaker 1 And it's really important people take the time to watch a clip of him doing it because you're not possibly imagining the golf club being as long as it actually is.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's pretty wild how long it is. And it's like curved.

Speaker 1 Yes, it looks like he is fishing off of a pier.

Speaker 1 Yes. It's crazy.

Speaker 2 And that was in November 2018.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay. I don't think that'll be beaten.

Speaker 2 I don't either.

Speaker 1 God willing.

Speaker 2 Okay, the record for the father-son pulling fire trucks.

Speaker 2 That was in Coburg. So, two Coburg strong men won't be celebrating Father's Day with a fishing trip

Speaker 2 or ball game this weekend. Instead, Reverend Kevin Fast and his son Jacob Fast will attempt to pull two fire trucks.

Speaker 2 The goal is to set a new Guinness World record for heaviest vehicle pulled by two people.

Speaker 2 The Saturday, June 18th event is a fundraiser for Habitat for Humanity.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's nice.

Speaker 2 A cause Reverend Fast became involved in last summer when he pulled a house 11.95 meters.

Speaker 1 He pulled a house? Yes.

Speaker 2 He's also well known for setting a Guinness World Record in 2009 for pulling a 416,229-pound aircraft in 2009 at CFB Trenton.

Speaker 1 Oh my goodness.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 Does Lionel Ritchie have a room in his house that's a replica of the room he originally wrote his music in?

Speaker 2 Now, I don't know about that, but there is an article on Architectural Digest about his house.

Speaker 1 Oh, there is.

Speaker 2 As for the home's overall mood, what I'm trying to do here is show travel, says Entertainer,

Speaker 2 who's always on the road. And finally, I found a place where I can apply everything I see in other countries.

Speaker 2 These disparate ideas, he trickles back via photographs sent by email to the masters who pull my ideas together, a team comprising interior designers, Peter Schiffando and J.

Speaker 2 Jonathan Joseph, and until his recent death, architect Robert Atrey.

Speaker 2 A case in point of Richie's inspired wanderless is a subtle palomino hue of the building's exterior, first first spotted on a cardinal's house he saw on a hilltop in Lake Como.

Speaker 2 And then there's the high-gloss, pale yellow Venetian plaster on the walls of the capacious living room inspired by Richie's visit to Poland's presidential palace.

Speaker 2 The mirrored effect of the walls was so beautiful, I had to ask, how do you do this? With several layers of paint, buffed and polished like a stone, he learned.

Speaker 2 It's not easy to come by, but once it's done, the room can have a single chair and it works. He pauses.
The things that inspire me, he laughs, were done years ago with cheap labor and materials.

Speaker 2 Trying to recreate them has cost me a bloody fortune.

Speaker 2 Still in this final said bloody? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Still in this movable feast of the imagination, it's the personal touches that mesmerize. A bronze sculpture depicting Richie's hand intertwined with that of his father, frame letters from Booker T.

Speaker 2 Washington and George Washington Carver to Richie's grandmother, a faculty member at the Tus oh, grandmother, a faculty member at the Tuskegee Institute in Alabama, where the singer grew up, two paintings in the billiard room by jazz trumpeter and pal Miles Davis.

Speaker 2 The kinetic abstracts, brilliant, complicated, twisted, and turned in every way, just like Miles, are signed on the back to the best from the best.

Speaker 2 With its high ceilings, dramatic staircases, I wish I could sign from the best. You can't.
No. Well, you can, but you shouldn't.

Speaker 1 Well, I can't. I'm not the best at anything.

Speaker 1 You need to be the best at something to sign the best.

Speaker 2 You have to be so the best.

Speaker 1 You have to be Miles.

Speaker 1 He can easily sign that. I think

Speaker 2 there's only one.

Speaker 1 No, Coltrane could have done it. Eddie Van Halen.
There's a bunch of people.

Speaker 2 No, I wouldn't want

Speaker 2 Van Halen too.

Speaker 1 Eddie Van Halen.

Speaker 2 With its high ceilings, dramatic staircases, sweeping promenades, and international panache, Richie's Manor. What? Jordan.
Jordan could.

Speaker 2 Ding, ding, ding. Anthony Anderson story about Jordan.
Richie's Manor house could be anywhere in the world, which is why he planned it. I call the rooms in my house destinations.

Speaker 2 If I want to be in a suite in Paris, I go upstairs to the bedroom and close the door. Italy, I walk outside to the stone path bordering the property and look back to see the Cardinal's house.

Speaker 2 With my career, I have to get on a plane every other week. So when people ask where do you go for vacation, I say I go home.

Speaker 1 I want to be a guest at his home. Me too.

Speaker 2 But also, the way he talked about it, we don't know the answer, but sounds likely. It sounds likely.
Okay, when did the police get back together for their last tour after not being together?

Speaker 2 They reunited in early 2007 for a world tour, which lasted through 2008.

Speaker 1 I heard Sting talking about that once on a talk show, and he said it's perfect. He said it was perfect within the first 20 minutes of the rehearsal.

Speaker 1 He and Stuart Copeland were in such a big fight they were going to cancel the tour or something like that. He's like, it was directly back to how the band always was.

Speaker 2 Okay, he mentioned elephantitis. He said when all the lower extremities are like one size.

Speaker 2 Now it's called elephantiasis.

Speaker 2 Elephantiasis.

Speaker 2 Elephantiasis. It's not elephantitis.
It's elephantiasis.

Speaker 1 That's how we like to colloquially say it. Elephantitis.
Elephantitis of the nuts.

Speaker 2 Yeah, exactly. It's a condition characterized by significant swelling, primarily in the legs, arms, or genitals, caused by a parasitic infection of the lymphatic system.

Speaker 2 The swelling is due to the buildup of lymphatic fluid, often leading to a disfigured appearance, hence the name.

Speaker 2 Ooh, ooh, ooh. Okay, he was talking about

Speaker 2 DC.

Speaker 2 So he said that was the murder capital of the world then.

Speaker 2 Now,

Speaker 2 several countries and cities consistently rank high in homicide rates. It says it's difficult to pinpoint definitively which one, but okay.
So in 2023, Jamaica had the highest homicide rate.

Speaker 1 Okay, per capita.

Speaker 2 At 49.3 per 100,000 people.

Speaker 2 While Ecuador saw a significant increase in its rate to 45.1 per 100,000, within Mexico, cities like Kalima and Zamora have been reported to have extremely high homicide rates.

Speaker 2 Now, as far as the US, St. Louis.
Okay. Does Anthony have the record for most appearances on Kimmel? Yes, he does.

Speaker 1 He does?

Speaker 2 Yes. Total of 63 appearances.
They include guest appearance.

Speaker 2 I can't talk. These include guest appearances, guest hosting, and co-hosting.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 63. Man who played Phela on Broadway.
There's two.

Speaker 2 Kevin Mambo is one. And then

Speaker 2 a name I'll spell. Okay.
First name, S-A-H-R.

Speaker 1 SAR.

Speaker 1 Saw her.

Speaker 2 And then last name, N-G-A-U-J-A-H.

Speaker 2 I'm not going to try to pronounce it. Anyway,

Speaker 2 that's it.

Speaker 1 I'm delighted to be back with you.

Speaker 2 Me too. It's been a long time.
We have so many stories.

Speaker 1 Too many stories. we have for next week good thing we don't have time off

Speaker 1 it really is all right love you okay love you

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Speaker 6 Hey there, Armchairies.

Speaker 1 Guess what?

Speaker 6 It's Mel Robbins.

Speaker 1 I'm popping in here taking out my own ad.

Speaker 6 Holy cow, Dax, Monica, and I, I don't want this conversation to end and I'm so glad you're here with us. And the other thing, I can't believe, Dax loves the let them theory.

Speaker 6 He can't stop talking about it. I hope you're loving listening as much as I love having you here.

Speaker 6 And I also know since you love listening to Armchair Expert, you know what you're going to love listening to?

Speaker 1 The Let Them Theory audiobook.

Speaker 6 And guess who reads it?

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Speaker 6 And even if you've read the book, guess what? The audiobook is different. I tell different stories.

Speaker 1 I riff. I cry.

Speaker 6 You're going to love it because it's going to feel like I'm right there next to you. We're in this together as we learn to stop controlling other people.

Speaker 6 So thanks again for listening to this episode of Armchair Expert and check out the audiobook version of the Let Them Theory, read by yours truly. available now on Audible.

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