Armchair Anonymous: Summer Camp

Speaker 1 Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts, or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaker 1 Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dak Shepard, and I'm joined by Lily Padman.
And today is summer camp stories. We have a summer theme going.

Speaker 2 It's so fun. I love summer.

Speaker 1 We got Fourth of July theme. We got summer theme.

Speaker 2 Sleepwalking, very summer.

Speaker 1 Very summery thing to do. You're too hot.
Your body tells you to get up and explore and get into business.

Speaker 2 Oh, camp. Just the vibes and the lice.

Speaker 1 And oh, wow. I'm really grateful I got to go to my one little eighth grade camp.
I think it was probably four days. Maybe it was three days.

Speaker 1 But I do wish I had gone to like a two-week summer camp, learned archery or something.

Speaker 1 Bunks. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Get in trouble. Two-ball, twelve-all.
Please enjoy summer camp stories.

Speaker 1 We are are supported by MS Now.

Speaker 1 Whether it's breaking news, exclusive reporting, or in-depth analysis, MS Now keeps people at the heart of everything they do, empowering Americans with the information and insights that can bring us together.

Speaker 1 Home to the Rachel Maddow Show, Morning Joe, the briefing with Jen Saki, and more voices you know and trust. MS Now is your source for news, opinion, and the world.

Speaker 1 Their name is new, but you'll find the same commitment to truth and community that you've relied on for years.

Speaker 1 They'll continue to cover the day's most important stories, ask the tough questions, and explain how it all impacts you. Same mission, new name.
MS Now. Learn more at MS.now.

Speaker 1 We are supported by T-Mobile 5G Home Internet. Like everyone, home internet is our life, and there's nothing worse than when it slows down.

Speaker 2 Oh, I know, especially when you're doing something important like editing this show.

Speaker 1 Well, actually, there's one worse thing, waiting around all day for the cable guy to show up to install it.

Speaker 2 I want those five hours back.

Speaker 1 Fortunately, T-Mobile's got home internet. They have fast speeds and it sets up easily in 15 minutes with just one cord.

Speaker 2 Anyone can do it, even me.

Speaker 1 Hey, we were first in on T-Mobile's home internet. We were using it up in the attic.

Speaker 3 Yeah. If you recall.

Speaker 2 It powers this very show.

Speaker 1 Yes, it's so reliable. And when you've got a podcast full of valuable insights about human nature and poop jokes, you need that.

Speaker 2 We all need that.

Speaker 1 Oh, and the low price is guaranteed for five years.

Speaker 2 Five years? Gotta respect the LTR.

Speaker 1 Guarantees monthly price of fixed wireless 5G internet data exclusions like taxes and fees applies. Service delivered via 5G network.
Speeds vary due to factor affecting cellular networks.

Speaker 1 Check availability and guarantee exclusions and details at t-mobile.com/slash home internet.

Speaker 1 Hard times come and go.

Speaker 1 Good times, take them slow.

Speaker 1 My life,

Speaker 1 I had them both.

Speaker 1 Remember one thing,

Speaker 1 you gotta know, I'm gonna keep them shining.

Speaker 1 Hello.

Speaker 1 What name do we want to go with?

Speaker 4 We're gonna go with Erica.

Speaker 1 Is it a nod to a friend?

Speaker 4 It's actually my middle name, so it still feels like me, but it's not.

Speaker 2 Really smart mood.

Speaker 1 Erica, where are you?

Speaker 4 I'm in British Columbia, Canada right now.

Speaker 1 About to embark on the most beautiful three months, I imagine, up there?

Speaker 4 Absolutely. I'm not from here, so the mountains are still very exciting.

Speaker 2 Oh, that's fun. Where are you from?

Speaker 4 I'm from Ontario.

Speaker 1 Would I presume correctly that this story about a summer camp happens in Ontario? It sure does. Okay, let us have it.

Speaker 4 I was about nine or 10 years old during this story, and I was very lucky to have a stay-at-home mom. So summer camp wasn't necessary because she was home to do so many wonderful things with us.

Speaker 4 But she made me and my brother do two camps every year so we could be social and normal like every other child.

Speaker 4 They were usually like a church camp or a school camp, just something local in the community to get us out of the house.

Speaker 1 And for like a week or two?

Speaker 4 Yeah, just like a Monday to Friday type of thing. So she decides that one of my family friends is doing a sports camp.
So it would be great for me to do the sports camp with her at a local school.

Speaker 4 I do not want to go. The thought of being in a school during summertime, no air conditioning, running around is like, oh, no, thank you.

Speaker 1 Would sports camp be your first pick?

Speaker 4 No, I was the type of kid that would stay up too late reading, and my mom would have to come turn off the lights and say, oh, what a bad, bad.

Speaker 5 Yeah,

Speaker 1 you're a naughty person, Erica.

Speaker 4 It was like pulling teeth the first day, dropping me off to get me to go. But I have have a friend here.
My mom is like, okay, go, have fun. It's going to be good.
I walk in day one.

Speaker 4 I instantly see a boy where I'm like, okay, yep, I have a crush on you. This week is going to go great.

Speaker 1 Oh, wonderful.

Speaker 4 So I go home and I say to my parents, I love camp. Can I go back next week? Please sign me up because 10 days of getting this guy to love me is much more doable.

Speaker 1 Wow. So already at 10.
So I have a daughter that that would happen to, and then I have another that that wouldn't happen to.

Speaker 4 This was the start of my boy crazy oh okay great and was everyone doing it it's kind of one of those things it's like everyone has a crush so like you gotta have a crush totally especially because it was probably 70 30 boys to girls at this camp so it was like okay there's a good pick of men here we'd love to the odds were in your favor yeah yes so i beg my parents please sign me up for week two they're like this is really odd you did not want to go but sure why not we'll take another week off of not having you here.

Speaker 4 So, they signed me up. I'm super excited.
The rest of the week, it's basically like we're learning different sports. So, this is perfect when you have a crush.

Speaker 4 I have an opportunity to be picked on your team. I have an opportunity to ask questions, to show off, to like be the MVP and get you to love me back.

Speaker 4 So, at the end of the week, to reward us for being in the heat all week, our counselors let us have a water fight.

Speaker 4 Sexy, classic water fight: Water balloons, water guns, the hose with the sprayer on the end. Like it's full on.

Speaker 4 So as a nine-year-old girl, I'm thinking the best way to show my crush that I like him is to absolutely demolish him.

Speaker 1 Oh, sure. These are the dumb conclusions we make in our youth.
He'll like me more if I humiliate him. Exactly.
So I'm like, this is perfect.

Speaker 1 Can I ask Erica? How was the crush going up until this point? Was he responsive? Was there a connection?

Speaker 4 Yeah, like he picked me on his team a few times. Like, he passed the ball to me a few times.
I was feeling like I had good odds here. I'm thinking the water balloons are not enough to make my mark.

Speaker 4 I don't really have good aim. The water gun, not going to get him wet enough.
Everybody's fighting for the hose, so I'm not feeling like that's my best option.

Speaker 4 So I'm looking around and I'm thinking maybe the bucket that's filled with water where all the water balloons are in would be a great idea.

Speaker 1 Like he just won the NCAA title or something. That's gatoring it over the head.
Boys seem to love that. Yeah.

Speaker 4 So it's not like a little gardening bucket. It's like one of those massive buckets that you have at school where the gym teacher puts all the balls in and pulls it out for recess type of thing.

Speaker 4 Not super athletic, not super strong. So not really sure why I thought this was going to work out super well for me.
I take out all the water balloons. I like struggle to pick it up.

Speaker 4 I waddle on over to him to try and catch him by surprise. And as I go to turn it and dump it on his head, drop it, it comes falling down on his face.

Speaker 1 Oh

Speaker 4 the rim of the bucket hits him right in the mouth.

Speaker 4 Instant two front teeth knocked out.

Speaker 1 No, you took out his front teeth.

Speaker 4 Yes. And we're nine.
These are adult teeth.

Speaker 1 These are not baby teeth. Irreplaceable.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Dentures.

Speaker 1 In fourth grade.

Speaker 4 Yeah. My first thought is like, well, there goes my husband.
I'm not coming back for week two. There's blood everywhere.
His teeth are missing.

Speaker 4 The camp counselors are running over trying to like put pressure on his face.

Speaker 1 Like, was he like, why'd you do that? Yeah, he was so mad.

Speaker 4 You're so stupid, like yelling. I'm feeling like so embarrassed.
Let me crawl up and run away. His parents come to pick him up.

Speaker 4 And obviously he's not coming back for week two of camp because he's going to have to go get new surgery.

Speaker 1 Oh, fuck.

Speaker 4 Oh, my God. So I have to go to week two because my parents are like, you made this decision.
We paid. You're going to have to go.
I go back on week two.

Speaker 4 The camp counselors say, this week at the end of the week, I'm sorry. There's going to be no water fight due to the incident that happened last week.
Everybody's looking at me like, gee, thanks a lot.

Speaker 4 You ruined this camp for us.

Speaker 1 One of our campers got carried away.

Speaker 4 Instead, we're going to be having a puzzle party.

Speaker 1 Like, what a comparison. This is

Speaker 1 disgusting. Opposite of sexy.
This is grandparenty.

Speaker 4 So I'm responsible for the puzzle party. The week goes by.
It's whatever. The summer goes on.

Speaker 4 I've probably found like a new love of my life at my next camp, probably church camp or something like that and forgotten about it.

Speaker 4 I get to the end of the summer and the same friend that came to the camp with me is having an end of summer barbecue. She went to a different school than me, lived in a different neighborhood.

Speaker 4 So I didn't really know any other families that were going to be invited.

Speaker 4 So me and my parents and my brother go and all the kids are kind of talking about summer, you know, what was the most exciting thing you did.

Speaker 4 They're all kind of comparing like, I went on this really cool trip. I saw this cool animal at the zoo, really cool stuff.
One little girl was so excited. She thought she had topped everybody.

Speaker 4 She felt her story was the best. So, everybody's like huddled around to listen.

Speaker 4 And she is super excited to share that she got to see the inside of an ambulance, the inside of a hospital, stitches, and fake teeth because her cousin had to get oral surgery from getting his two front teeth knocked out.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. And you're just sitting there anonymously listening as if you knew nothing about it.

Speaker 4 And everybody's like, oh my gosh, that's so crazy. And I'm sitting there like just white in the face.

Speaker 1 You're kind of like when an arsonist sticks around to watch the building burn with a crowd.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's twisted.

Speaker 1 And did we ever find out anything as he got older? Did he weather this storm and prevail?

Speaker 4 To be honest, I wanted nothing to do with it because I think I would never forgive myself if I found out that he did not recover from it.

Speaker 1 Oh, he recovered he has two beautiful veneers he's i really hope so well erica thank you for that that's a real shameful event i can only imagine i hope it's a cautionary tale is that we can't let these crushes run away with us crushes make people do crazy crushes make crushes

Speaker 4 yes and the funny part is it's a tradition in firefighting when you finish out your recruit class you get dumped with water and later in life i ended up dating a firefighter and he was finishing up his time at the fire hall and i got invited to come dump water on him to finish off his recruit class and i politely said i will film somebody else please do the dump you'll never trust yourself again

Speaker 1 you could even imagine erica standing like with a very solvable fire

Speaker 1 and unwilling to wield a bucket of water against it. Yeah, that's why she has to overcome her deepest scar to save the small town.

Speaker 1 We're always so grateful to have our neighbors to the north as arm cherries. We love it.
Well, it's lovely meeting you.

Speaker 4 Yeah, lovely meeting you guys too. Thank you so much.

Speaker 1 Have a glorious summer up there. Thank you.
Bye. All right.
Bye.

Speaker 1 Arielle or Arielle.

Speaker 8 Nailed it on the first try, which is uncommon.

Speaker 1 Well, we happen to have an Arielle in our life who's a good friend of ours. And so I'm practiced.

Speaker 8 It's the only way that people can get it because I will straight up answer the phone. Hi, this is Arielle.
Oh, hey, Ariel. I'm like, guys, what?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 People don't like change.

Speaker 8 I'll be like, Sebastian kind of says it that way and the little mermaid. I try and give all the help for this.

Speaker 1 Well, it is a tricky one when you're looking at it phonetically. In my mind, as a dyslexic, what I have to say to myself before I say Arielle's name out loud, I have to literally think R.

Speaker 1 Forget that it even has an A. This name starts with an R.
R-E-L.

Speaker 2 You have so many tricks and tips.

Speaker 1 I have to.

Speaker 8 I did have the nickname Rels growing up because I would have to say it's R-E-L.

Speaker 8 And so that became RHELs.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's so cute. See, I stumbled upon a good technique.

Speaker 1 Okay, so Ariel, where are you that you have a big walk-in closet in a basement with a training facility?

Speaker 8 So I'm actually in Oak Park, Michigan.

Speaker 1 Oh, Lions. Oh, Lions.

Speaker 8 And this is a makeshift closet. I had the clothing racks and I encased myself in.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, smart.

Speaker 8 And I put a blanket over top.

Speaker 2 It is really working.

Speaker 1 The amount of time these poor armchairs put into constructing their studio, it's really sweet.

Speaker 2 It's really sweet. It's appreciated.
And you have to. And you do got to do it.
Or your story just might not be able to be aired.

Speaker 8 Thankfully, I already had it because they don't have closets in old houses and I had too many clothes to possibly go in one little tiny closet. So I already had the setup.
We just condensed it.

Speaker 1 Nice. Sure.
Okay, now tell me about summer camp because we didn't really do it where I grew up in Michigan, other than the junior high trip.

Speaker 8 The summer camp that I went to, and there are a couple different ones in Michigan. The one I went to is northern Michigan.
I won't say exactly where, just to keep it

Speaker 1 legal.

Speaker 8 We'll talk about it later in the story. I wouldn't give it like a one-to-one wet hut American summer comparison, but like dial down the horniness and irresponsibility five notches or so.

Speaker 8 You get kind of an idea. You know, there was the lake, there was water skiing, canoeing, we had arts and crafts, there was dance and drama.

Speaker 1 Hookups? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
In the woods. I hooked up on my trip to camp in eighth grade.

Speaker 2 Did you just say you didn't have camp?

Speaker 1 I said other than the school.

Speaker 5 Oh, this is a school camp.

Speaker 1 So I went to the school camp, yeah, and I had a nice hookup in the woods. It's so fun.

Speaker 8 That plays into the story for sure. I went to this camp from the time I was like eight years old.
You're a camper until you're like 15. And so I was a little late bloomer in the romance department.

Speaker 8 So I didn't have any fun fun hookup stories from when I was a camper. This story takes place in 2010.
So I was actually a nanny at the camp. So I was a camper there.

Speaker 8 And then instead of being a counselor, I was a nanny for the director's kids because they were too young to be in camp. So it was pretty cush.

Speaker 8 job because you get all the fun of camp without any of the rules that the counselors have to abide by.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
What age were you nannying there?

Speaker 8 2010, I was like 19 years old. So a lot of the staff is returning campers, but we also have international staff.
We got Aussies, we got Kiwis, we got Brits.

Speaker 8 Nothing is hotter, right, than some guys with accents. So it's pretty exciting at the start of camp.

Speaker 8 Some people have been there for pre-camp and there's already been hookups and things that have been established.

Speaker 1 Camp's like a dating show. It's like one of these love islands.

Speaker 8 And you also think everyone's hotter than they are in real life because we call it camp goggles because it's your only options.

Speaker 1 We adjust quickly as humans. It's kind of shocking.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 8 But no camp goggles were needed for me this summer because this guy, we're going to call him Liam. I mean, he was just exactly what you would want for a summer fling.

Speaker 8 He's tall, handsome, ripped, plays guitar

Speaker 8 and British. Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay, like a British can.

Speaker 8 Truly, you know, as you were saying, hookups in the woods, you don't really want that because there's mosquitoes, but we got to get creative when we're trying to figure out where we're going to be hooking up.

Speaker 8 So people at their cars. You could be upper parking lot in the car, but it's a little cramped in there, but you can make it work.
You have days off, so that's always nice.

Speaker 8 You can go stay in a hotel in the local city.

Speaker 8 We had some in a canoe in the arts and crafts room.

Speaker 1 Yes, romantic. That's almost like the T-Rex mouth.
Similar size. Obviously, no banging in the bunks.
That's where you're going to get busted, right?

Speaker 8 Correct, because there's campers in there and that would be wildly inappropriate.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 8 But that didn't exactly stop us from doing something else wildly inappropriate.

Speaker 1 We are supported by Credelio Quattro. Every dog deserves to enjoy the outdoors and be protected from dog parasites.

Speaker 1 Credelio Quattro offers the broadest parasite protection of its kind by covering six types of parasites in one monthly flavored chewable tablet, fighting ticks, fleas, heartworm disease, roundworms, hookworms, and tapeworms.

Speaker 1 Woof. Other products say they're all in one, but Credelio Quattro is the only monthly chewable tablet of its kind that covers three species of tapeworms.

Speaker 1 And it's flavored, which means your dog might actually like it. Whether you're going on a hike or just in the backyard, you can help protect your best buddy.

Speaker 1 Talk to your vet if your dog has a history of seizures or neurological disorders. Visit quattrodog.com for more info.
Ask your vet about Credelio Quattro. That's quattrodog.com to learn more.

Speaker 1 For full safety information, side effects, and warnings, visit CredelioQuattroLabel.com. Consult your vet or call 1-888-545-5973.

Speaker 1 We are supported by JCPenney.

Speaker 2 You know what's even better than getting compliments on your holiday outfit?

Speaker 1 Getting compliments on your holiday outfit that you got for way less than anyone would guess.

Speaker 2 Ding, ding, ding. Exactly.
I just hit up JCPenney for some holiday party looks. And let me tell you, the quality and style are great.

Speaker 2 I got this really gorgeous velvet blazer that everyone thinks was designer, but it's not, but it really looks luxe.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But you're sitting there like, oh, this JC Penny.

Speaker 2 It is really fun to see the look on people's faces when you tell them. And it's not just clothes.

Speaker 6 Their home stuff is perfect for hosting.

Speaker 1 Plus, they've got gifts for everyone on your list that look so much more expensive than they actually are.

Speaker 2 Because when it comes to holiday gifts, it's what they think you spent that counts.

Speaker 1 Shopjcpenny.com. Yes, JCPenney.

Speaker 1 We are supported by Nordic Naturals, the number one selling fish oil brand in the U.S. Something I take every evening before bed.

Speaker 1 So I saw this article the other day about nutrition, and there's this stat that completely caught me off guard.

Speaker 1 Apparently, 80% of Americans don't get enough omega-3s from their diet, but it turns out omega-3 fatty acids, EPA, and DHA are critical for cellular health.

Speaker 1 We're talking about stuff that affects your heart, brain, immune system, eyes, mood, basically everything that matters for feeling good day to day.

Speaker 1 Nordic Naturals is the number one selling omega-3 brand in the U.S. with products formulated to support your whole family, including kids and pets.

Speaker 1 Their ultimate Omega provides concentrated omega-3 support without any fishy aftertaste. Comes in soft gels, liquid, even zero sugar gummies.
I love them. I eat them every night.

Speaker 1 My numbers have been great, which is so comforting. Use promo code DAX for 15% off your next order at Nordic.com and discover the power of Omega-3 for yourself.

Speaker 1 These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
We are supported by Peloton.

Speaker 1 You know how life gets especially chaotic this time of year? Work, kids, trying to remember what day it is. For me, finding time to move can feel impossible, but that's where Peloton comes in.

Speaker 1 Peloton has completely reimagined cross-training with the new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus powered by Peloton IQ.

Speaker 1 It's Peloton's most elevated equipment yet, real-time guidance, endless ways to move, and it helps you get more done in less time.

Speaker 1 I like the time crunch aspect of it because sometimes I only got 20 minutes to squeeze something in. This is perfect.

Speaker 1 With Peloton IQ, you get personalized plans, form correction, and weight suggestions that help you train smarter and stay consistent no matter how busy life gets.

Speaker 1 Let yourself run, lift, sculpt, push, and go. Explore the new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus at onepeloton.com.

Speaker 8 When I look back on this, I'm 9tm horny. It is what it is.
After the campers go to sleep, there's counselors that have to be on night watch, but then everyone else can go off.

Speaker 8 There's a local bar that you can go up to, but you have to be back in time for the curfew, which was like midnight. Everyone has to be in their cabins.
So we figured this might be a safe option.

Speaker 8 Everyone's already in their cabins. It's like 1 a.m.

Speaker 8 We decide to meet in the boys Basak, which I'm sure you're not familiar with this term.

Speaker 8 I'm not sure if it was our camp thing or all the camps have it, but it's basically a large building that half of it is toilets and the other half is is stalls of showers that's located in back boys so that's where all the older boy cabins they didn't have toilets and stuff in their cabins they had the bay sock that they all had to go to so it's 1 a.m i mean everyone should be sleeping why not take a shower together so romantic sounds so fun we're in the shower we're trying to manage the intricacies of shower sex there's a couple of things we all think are going to be great and they're terrible fucking in a shower is terrible Fucking in a hot tub is terrible.

Speaker 1 And fucking on an airplane is terrible.

Speaker 7 Did you wear flip-flops?

Speaker 8 So I would love to tell you yes.

Speaker 2 I'm glad you're being honest.

Speaker 8 We were just really excited. The mildewy, disgusting floor, we're not worried about it at this time.

Speaker 8 What we should have been worried about is what happened next because we're showering and we hear the door open.

Speaker 8 We freeze. It's fine.
They're just going to go to the bathroom and then we're going to be quiet and then they'll leave and then we we can resume. It'll not be a problem.

Speaker 1 If you're in there by yourself taking a shower, you're not thinking, well, they're going to come into my shower.

Speaker 1 Never.

Speaker 8 What we didn't factor in was that one of the other counselors knew what we were doing and he may have played a role in what happened next. So

Speaker 8 we hear footsteps. The toilets are in a different area.
There should be nobody coming over here. And they're getting closer and closer.
And the curtain whips open.

Speaker 8 I scream. I jump behind Lee.
Like, I can't even give you enough details of what happened at this time because it was a 12-year-old camper.

Speaker 1 I knew who this camper was.

Speaker 8 He is the biggest shit-talking little camper, the last person. Not that I would have wanted any of the male campers to see what was happening in the shower.

Speaker 1 Sure, sure.

Speaker 8 But Liam, like, shoves him out of the shower. I couldn't tell you how I got back to my cabin that night.
It was a blur, but all I knew was this isn't going to be the end of it.

Speaker 8 The humiliation will not be stopping at getting caught having sex in the shower by this 12-year-old.

Speaker 8 I was not proven wrong because that morning you go to the mess hall, which is where you have meals and everything.

Speaker 8 And it's very common for different cabins to do little cheers. There's ones that all the camp knows about, or you can do more specific ones.

Speaker 8 And of course, without fail, breakfast, we didn't even make it to lunch. I hear quiet, please, from this cabin where there's a clock, you'll find an hour.
Hey, Arielle, meet you in the shower.

Speaker 1 Oh, my.

Speaker 1 They already crafted a round.

Speaker 2 Wow, and it's only okay.

Speaker 1 Our shower, that's pretty good. Everyone is in here.

Speaker 8 The directors, the camp owners, who I've known since I'm eight years old, because I've gone to this camp. They know my parents.

Speaker 2 You're also taking care of children. There's an added, like, I'm not being responsible.

Speaker 1 You must be thinking I'm getting fired today.

Speaker 8 I was horrified. And of course, the cheer was about me.

Speaker 1 It was not about the counselor.

Speaker 1 Why would he be involved in there and catch any flack from that?

Speaker 1 No, he's a hero.

Speaker 1 Of course.

Speaker 8 Needless to say, I did not hear the end of it. I did not get fired because, again, this is tame.
I mean, there were kids who got kicked out for smoking weed. There was plenty of things happening.

Speaker 8 I think if I was a counselor, I may have gotten fired. But since I was the nanny,

Speaker 1 did they talk to you, though? Like, look, here's the thing. We love the spirit.
We all know camp's fun.

Speaker 2 Camp is risky.

Speaker 1 You got to stick to the cars in the upper parking lot, out in the woods with the mosquitoes. Do it right.

Speaker 8 Yeah, I did not get away without a little bit of a lecture because it was somebody who was kind of like my camp mom.

Speaker 2 Yeah. You know what wants to hear that from your mom.

Speaker 8 It went on for the rest of the summer. And at the end of the summer, there's like a campfire where kind of skits are done.

Speaker 8 And the owners and directors did a skit where they included a chant about this occasion as well.

Speaker 5 Oh my God, you were the hit of the camp.

Speaker 8 I didn't go back the next summer, but I did return for one more summer. And of course, those campers were 15 years old at that time.
They were the oldest campers in camp.

Speaker 8 And day one, cheer, right back.

Speaker 1 They did not forget. Oh, I can't wait.
They're so excited you're back.

Speaker 8 I have gone down in Camp Laura as the girl who got caught having sex in the shower.

Speaker 2 That's pretty cool.

Speaker 1 Did you stay in touch with the cute Britt? Did he move home and then you wrote letters and then it piddled out at some point?

Speaker 8 We did stay in touch and it kind of piddled and then we would say happy birthday. And I actually, eight years later, went to London for my first and only solo trip.
And I told him I was coming.

Speaker 8 And we were able to use a bed this time.

Speaker 1 Oh, nice.

Speaker 2 I love this.

Speaker 1 And was he still hot?

Speaker 8 Hot rode a motorcycle. He took me to see a play.
What?

Speaker 1 Wow. Wow.
This is the dream.

Speaker 2 Yeah. You're living a good life.
We did it.

Speaker 8 We were horrified. I could not find it funny at the time for the shower.

Speaker 1 Are you going up north this summer?

Speaker 8 I don't have any plans to because I'm actually getting married in September. So all of our money and energy is going into the wedding and the honeymoon.

Speaker 2 That makes it exotic. Does your betrothed know about Liam?

Speaker 8 He is a sweet and a real trooper because I practice telling the story to people to.

Speaker 2 That's a good husband.

Speaker 4 He's a good boy.

Speaker 1 Well, it's lovely to talk to you. I love our michigander cherries yes and if it's okay my sister yesterday this is sam

Speaker 1 hi sam

Speaker 8 we have one more but she is hard working right now shout out ryan we love you one of you has got to work hard

Speaker 8 okay i am a pediatric nurse okay

Speaker 8 do you have any stories about up your butt so i do not have any foreign object in the rectums.

Speaker 2 Michigan.

Speaker 8 I do have stories I could write in about, but the peds part of it makes it a little dicey of if I should share that

Speaker 1 pod.

Speaker 8 So glad I ended up here for this one.

Speaker 1 You made the right ethical decision, but I would want to hear at a dinner party for sure. Yeah, next time.

Speaker 8 Oh, I have one that you would agree with.

Speaker 1 I got a hunch that there's some Lincoln logs in butts.

Speaker 8 Oh, let me just say the term diaper snacks.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 well, it's great meeting you, Michiganders. We love you.
Have a great summer.

Speaker 2 Thanks for listening. Bye.

Speaker 1 Bye.

Speaker 1 Diaper snacks.

Speaker 2 Yummy. That sounds horrible.
I'm a little consumed with my scab.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I've noticed.

Speaker 2 I think I might need to get a band-aid and cover it up. Is it worse to see a scab or a band-aid?

Speaker 1 A band-aid. It's weird.
Scabs. Scabs and scars.
Hi.

Speaker 3 Hi. Can you guys hear me okay?

Speaker 1 Oh, beautifully. First, I want to applaud your parents for spelling Sarah, S-A-R-A.

Speaker 3 I was born in Japan, and my mom was worried that if she put an H on the end of my name, the Japanese would pronounce the H and then

Speaker 3 so they just simplified it.

Speaker 1 Where are you, Sarah?

Speaker 3 I actually am in Berlin, Germany.

Speaker 1 Oh my God, you are a trustworthy. Fuck out.

Speaker 1 What's happening in Berlin, Germany?

Speaker 3 My husband and I moved here with our kids about two and a half years ago. We work for a local German church here.

Speaker 3 We're originally from Seattle, but we're just on an adventure over here and it's been awesome.

Speaker 1 I thought Germans were largely atheist.

Speaker 3 They are. So we actually have a lot of interesting conversations, but we've found Germans are really interested in having very open conversations.

Speaker 3 So even if they don't agree or we have different perspectives, it's a really cool place to just explore worldviews with people.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're interested instead of threatened, right?

Speaker 3 Yeah, and they're really comfortable with disagreeing, which we love. And also, one of the reasons I love your podcast is you guys really create space for conversations like that.

Speaker 1 Oh, thank you. Thank you.
Okay, so you're really a world traveler, born in Japan now in Berlin.

Speaker 2 I wonder where this camp is.

Speaker 1 Yeah, where the fuck is this camp? Moscow?

Speaker 3 The camp is outside of Philadelphia in a small town called Schwanksville, Pennsylvania.

Speaker 1 That's horny. Schwanksville? It sounds a little bit like Schwang or something.

Speaker 2 Know your audience.

Speaker 1 Know my audience. I think I do.
I think they know in Perl.

Speaker 1 Know your host. I know who I'm talking to.
Don't worry.

Speaker 3 I worked at this camp every summer that I was in college.

Speaker 3 They do a lot of really incredible programs with different organizations in Philadelphia serving inner city youth, getting them out of the city for the summer. It's so much fun.

Speaker 3 But this story takes place during training week. So we didn't have any campers on the site, which is important because that means that we didn't have any medical staff.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay.

Speaker 3 When we were running programs, we always had a fully trained nursing staff. But during training weeks, just the full-time staff was there, which consisted mostly of 18 to 22-year-olds.

Speaker 3 This was back in 2012. I was 20 years old.
This summer, I was the head lifeguard.

Speaker 3 So I was helping to train another team of lifeguards during this training week, which also meant that I and one other girl were the only first aid certified people.

Speaker 3 People are all over the property training in different activities. And we're doing a classroom training session for some new lifeguards.

Speaker 3 And a girl runs into the lodge that we're in and says, help, help. He fell from a tree.

Speaker 1 Oh, oh, oh.

Speaker 3 We'll call him Tony. She says, Tony fell from the high zipline platform.

Speaker 5 Oh, oh, my God.

Speaker 3 Which is at least 30 feet in the air.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 this could be career ending.

Speaker 3 My stomach just drops. Me and the other first aid girl grab our kit and we're running.
We have to get in a golf cart because this platform is on the other side of the property.

Speaker 3 And we're asking this messenger questions, you know, is he conscious? What's going on? And she's like, I don't know.

Speaker 2 And Tony is another counselor.

Speaker 3 Yes, he was there also as a volunteer and he was training to run the zip line. for campers.
You know, I'm like, is Tony dead?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Is his skull cracked open? Has he broken his back? And I've only been a lifeguard for like four weeks at this point.

Speaker 1 This is crazy. Oh my God.
And I presume 911 has been called, but you guys are kind of far away from help.

Speaker 3 There was an urgent care down the road, but we're in the middle of the wilderness. So I honestly actually don't even remember if 911 was called.
I think we were all just kind of panicking.

Speaker 3 So we have to kind of walk down into this path to get to where Tony is. And as we're approaching, I hear laughter.
And I'm like, okay, that's probably a good sign.

Speaker 3 And Tony's laying on the ground, but he has his head propped up and he's talking with the people around him. So right away, I'm like, okay, he's not dead.
He's conscious.

Speaker 3 And clearly, he has his wits about him. And he looks over at us kind of sheepishly.
He's like, hey, guys.

Speaker 1 And we're like, what happened?

Speaker 3 Miraculously, when Tony fell, he wasn't clipped in properly, which is why he fell in the first place off of this platform.

Speaker 3 But he was agile and athletic enough that he grabbed onto the tree next to the one that he was in and essentially slid down it.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 I'm worried about

Speaker 1 a fireman's pole. Oh,

Speaker 1 my stomach just turned. I'd rather fall and hit my head over than drag my hands down a pine tree.

Speaker 2 That's not good enough.

Speaker 1 From 30 feet. Whoa.

Speaker 3 He has no skin. He probably has no finger.

Speaker 1 You want to talk about splinters? splinters?

Speaker 3 His fingertips are gone.

Speaker 3 And he has the most unique wounds I think I've ever seen

Speaker 3 on his forearms and his legs. And he's also pretty sure he's broken his ankle because, again, he landed on his feet, but very hard.

Speaker 1 We get support from AG1.

Speaker 1 I'm always looking for ways to simplify my wellness routine without cutting corners. That's why I've been drinking AG1 every morning for years.
I love the taste. I love the simplicity.

Speaker 1 I love how I feel after I have my glass of AG1. AG1 is a daily health drink that's basically replaced my entire supplement cabinet.
75 plus vitamins, minerals, and whole food ingredients in one scoop.

Speaker 1 It supports gut health, gives me steady energy without crashes, and supports my immune health. Huge when I'm constantly around people for interviews.

Speaker 1 Less than three bucks a day doing the work of multiple supplements. With travel and holiday chaos, those antioxidants and functional mushrooms help my body stay resilient.

Speaker 1 You know, we had back-to-back Halloween, then I traveled to Palm Springs, hosted a birthday party, came back, and my first thought was like, oh, I got to totally recharge. Went straight to the AG1.

Speaker 1 Head to drinkag1.com/slash stacks to get a free welcome kit with an AG1 flavor sampler and a bottle of vitamin D3 plus K2 when you first subscribe. That's drinkag1.com slash stacks.

Speaker 1 We are supported by all state. You know what's smart? Checking all state first for a quote that could save you hundreds on car insurance.
You know what's not smart?

Speaker 1 Not checking your phone's volume before blasting your morning pump-up playlist in the office break room. Or not checking that your laptop camera's off before joining the meeting in your robe.

Speaker 1 Or something I'm a little too familiar with, not checking your grocery list before heading to the store and realizing you bought everything except what you needed. Yeah, checking first is smart.

Speaker 1 So check All State First for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate.
Potential savings vary, subject to terms, condition, and availability.

Speaker 1 Allstate North American Insurance Co. and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

Speaker 1 We are supported by ServiceNow. You know what I love? Not having to do boring, repetitive stuff.

Speaker 1 I want to focus on the interesting conversations, the creative work, the things that really matter to me. And apparently, that's exactly what ServiceNow does for entire organizations.

Speaker 1 AI is only as powerful as the platform it's built into. Here's the thing.
ServiceNow has basically become the operating system of AI.

Speaker 1 Instead of Frankensteining together different tools, ServiceNow unifies people, data, workflows, and AI, connecting every corner of your business.

Speaker 1 That's why it's no surprise that more than 85% of the Fortune 500 use the ServiceNow AI platform. We're talking HR, customer service, every department you can think of.
And here's what's cool.

Speaker 1 They got Idris Elba as their brand ambassador. I mean, come on, if you're going to have someone represent your company, might as well be the guy who's basically the CEO everyone wants to be, right?

Speaker 1 With AI agents working together autonomously, anyone in any department can focus on the work that matters most. Learn how ServiceNow puts AI to work for people at servicenow.com.

Speaker 3 So, we are trying to clean him up as best as we can. We ended up just putting him in someone's car to take him to the urgent care.
So, I guess 911 wasn't called.

Speaker 1 I guess not.

Speaker 2 That was a mistake.

Speaker 3 Sorry, Monica.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'd love a 911.

Speaker 3 I know. He ended up coming back to the property that night on crutches and bandaged up.
He'd broken his ankle, but he came back with aftercare instructions for these wounds.

Speaker 3 He needed these wounds cleaned, disinfected, and re-bandaged four times a day, which sucks mostly for him, right? He's trying to be a good guy, serve at this camp. He's on crutches now.
Is he hot?

Speaker 3 We were very like platonic, good friends.

Speaker 1 This is now Monica's. I was in trouble for being a perv earlier, and now the real perv is energy chat.

Speaker 1 Well, I don't know.

Speaker 2 It's very intimate.

Speaker 1 He had to dress his wounds.

Speaker 3 Even if there was going to be something romantic, the amount of

Speaker 1 pus

Speaker 3 that I had to deal with in these wounds.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 3 We were both shocked the first time I had to clean these. I don't know if it was just because he had so much stuff from the tree, if his body was just getting rid of it.

Speaker 1 Of course. So much foreign material.

Speaker 2 I just wish he went home and his mom could take care of him.

Speaker 1 Why did you have to do it?

Speaker 2 Yeah, and I was

Speaker 1 mommy Monica.

Speaker 3 He was so laid back, but also so apologetic about this. He was like, I should just be doing this myself.
I'm so sorry. And I'm like, you don't have fingertips.

Speaker 1 Like, you can't.

Speaker 3 So I just pretended to be a nurse for a week before we got actual nursing staff and took care of these

Speaker 1 very

Speaker 1 pus-filled wounds

Speaker 3 all over Tony. Oh,

Speaker 1 oh my God, you're a hero.

Speaker 3 Made a full recovery. We both went back to the camp the next summer.
No one fell out of a tree. The next summer, I did fall in love with a boy, and he's now my husband of 10 years and

Speaker 4 father of our three children.

Speaker 2 So it was almost a meet cute.

Speaker 1 Yeah, next year.

Speaker 3 But yeah, that's the story of me pretending to be a medical professional.

Speaker 1 Good for you. I guess my big question is, why aren't we sending Tony home? What the fuck is he going to do other than be a drain on everyone? He has no business at this camp anymore.

Speaker 4 He was there for the vibes.

Speaker 3 And they're good vibes. This is a really fun place.
And he is a tough guy. He was like, no, I can stick it out.
I can be here.

Speaker 3 And then he just hobbled around on his crutches, but he had a great attitude.

Speaker 1 Oh, good for Tony. And good for you.

Speaker 2 You have a great attitude as well.

Speaker 1 Good for you, Anne Tony.

Speaker 3 I also have a little bit of a hero complex. Dax can relate to that.
So it was fun for me to get to pretend that I knew how to take care of someone.

Speaker 1 Yes. And everyone knew there that you were doing the taking care of.
That's lovely.

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 3 And they were like, wow, come on, Sarah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you don't need an H on your name. Is that said that too?

Speaker 2 They were definitely thinking that.

Speaker 1 Well, I'm very excited for you that you met that boy and you're married and you have three kids and you're in Berlin, Germany. What an adventure.

Speaker 3 Thank you. Yeah, it's been awesome.
We love it here.

Speaker 1 Oh, well, Sarah, this was a delight.

Speaker 3 Thank you guys so much. I'm so grateful.
I have to shout out my younger brother. He is the one that turned me onto this podcast in your first year.

Speaker 3 And Dax, I'm just always so moved by what an incredible dad you are and how much you delight in your daughters.

Speaker 3 I have such a great relationship with my dad and he's battling stage four cancer right now.

Speaker 1 So sorry. Sorry.

Speaker 3 He's the epitome of what a father should be.

Speaker 1 When I hear you talk about your girls and that relationship that you have with them it's one of my favorite things about this whole thing that you guys do oh well thank you you guys are awesome give our love to your family i will okay thank you guys so much all right take care that one got me worse than anything we've heard on here no i could feel it not worse than last time when worse than the skin yeah worse Worse than the pus on the leg.

Speaker 1 Fuck yeah. I got a visceral.
We just talked to someone who slid down a very tall tree and I could feel all the slivers in my hands as she was describing that.

Speaker 2 This was bad, but not as bad as eating skin off a corpse.

Speaker 1 I'm going to start right away with, does anyone ever tell you that you look like Jason Lee?

Speaker 9 I have not heard that. A long time ago, I got Luke Wilson.

Speaker 2 I can also kind of see that.

Speaker 1 That's a wonderful thing to be told. He's so cute and charming.
Where'd you grow up?

Speaker 9 I grew up in middle of Kansas. We live in Oklahoma now.

Speaker 1 Okay, wonderful. And was camp something everyone did there?

Speaker 9 All my friends, we went to the same church camp from the surrounding areas. And it was just a big one week where you saw everyone, did everything.

Speaker 1 Did you have like friends there that weren't in your school or was it generally also just kids from your school?

Speaker 9 There wasn't that many kids from my school. It was mostly my church and surrounding churches.

Speaker 1 And how do you think church camps differ from your regular secular camp?

Speaker 9 Guard church camp was a time for kids to kind of be wild sometimes.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 9 I don't think there's much of a difference.

Speaker 1 Okay, so hit us with your camp story.

Speaker 9 This happens last year at the same church camp that I grew up going to. I go now as a counselor.
My kid goes there. I'm also the kind of the co-director of this camp.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. Okay.
Position of power.

Speaker 9 Yes. It's in the middle of nowhere, Kansas.
You have to take like a lone dirt road to get to it even. About 120 campers, eight to 13 year olds.
And usually it's a pretty easy week.

Speaker 9 This week, we had a lot of things go wrong. We had a few counselors cancel on us last minute.
They were already short-staffed.

Speaker 9 We had one counselor get shot in the face with a firework on the day before.

Speaker 1 Okay. So camp starts on July 5th.

Speaker 9 Yeah. He's covered in second-degree burns all over his face.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 9 So he's not there.

Speaker 2 Good. I mean, I have to say.

Speaker 1 A little intense for the campers. That's a lot.

Speaker 9 We also had to send a couple of counselors home because of code of conduct issues.

Speaker 1 Oh. Drugs or sex?

Speaker 9 Suspicion of drugs.

Speaker 1 Okay. Strong smell wafting out of certain areas.

Speaker 9 Right. There are a lot of days mornings and nights.
We're already short staffed. This is towards the end of the week.
And then we find out that a couple kids have lice.

Speaker 1 Oh, God.

Speaker 2 I have an outsized fear of lice. I really find it.

Speaker 1 Like my fear of sliding down a tree. I guess.
Yeah.

Speaker 9 It was pretty bad. So it's a boy and a girl.
We went to all the neighboring CVSs, Walmarts, and we bought all the lice shampoo we could find in the area.

Speaker 9 Cleaned out the whole central Kansas and we washed all the kids' hair. We sent those kids home because it was too much.
So understaffed, we just did the lice.

Speaker 9 And then one of my counselors comes up to me and says, hey, I just saw a high-speed chase go down our dirt road with about 20 state troopers following a car.

Speaker 1 Oh my God. Oh, wow.

Speaker 9 And then we get a call basically saying, here's the deal. A guy in New Mexico aggravated assault, stole a car, armed and dangerous, fled cops in New Mexico.

Speaker 9 They've tracked him to your county in Kansas in middle of nowhere.

Speaker 1 Oh my God.

Speaker 9 High-speed chase happens. He turns down our one dirt road,

Speaker 9 crashes,

Speaker 9 gets out of the car. Police don't know where he's at.

Speaker 1 He's on foot somewhere in the woods.

Speaker 9 He is on foot.

Speaker 1 Now it's Friday the 13th. That's great.
Yes.

Speaker 1 We've got a murderer in the way because it gets escalated to a murderer immediately.

Speaker 9 We're freaking out. Luckily, all the kids, it was like dinner time or worship in the evening.
So they were all in one spot. So we're trying to develop a plan.
We can keep them safe, watch the exits.

Speaker 9 We get a call saying,

Speaker 9 hey, they caught him. And so we go back to normal at the fire, sing songs, trying to get to bed.
We get another call. Turns out, no, they did not catch him.
He is still on the loop.

Speaker 9 A couple hours later. Oh, my God.
The sun is going down.

Speaker 1 Oh, no.

Speaker 9 It turns out a farmer was calling everyone and being like, they caught him.

Speaker 1 These farmers are reckless. Rural game of telephone.

Speaker 2 What would you have done?

Speaker 1 Went out to try to find them.

Speaker 2 And leave all the kids by themselves.

Speaker 1 Oh, if I were Brody.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I would get them in one spot, minimal exits and entrances, try to find out what building is the least permeable. Yeah.
And then I would stand guard.

Speaker 2 I am going to make a lot of signs that say we have lice and like put them all over and then

Speaker 2 get a megaphone and just be screaming we have lice so he knows not to come we have biological agents i wish we thought of that the lice angle that would have been good

Speaker 9 we decide to go on lockdown because we can lock all the kids in the cabin so no one can get in but they can get out we post a couple counselors here and there and we form

Speaker 9 what i can call you know like a camp militia basically

Speaker 1 yeah really quick none of the cops go hey we'll come to you i mean this seems crazy crazy. They haven't peeled off a couple officers to stand guard.

Speaker 9 One cop did come, and I'm thinking to myself, he's going to kind of ease the situation. They know where he's at.
But this cop came in hot and he was like, I mean,

Speaker 1 who knows? You know, who already knows where he's at?

Speaker 1 Oh, geez. Okay.
He was scared too.

Speaker 2 He could be anywhere.

Speaker 9 All the dads of this camp form a perimeter

Speaker 9 around the camp to just, I guess, watch out for this guy.

Speaker 1 Sure. Because no one has any firearms at the camp or anything, or do we?

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 okay, church camp. Let's go, church camp.
Because someone's got one in their pickup truck.

Speaker 9 Yeah, I mean, central Kansas. I personally don't have a weapon, but there are a couple of guys that it's like I hoped but didn't want to know.

Speaker 9 Because at one end, it's like, oh, I hope you didn't come to church camp with a gun in your car. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But now I'm glad that you did if you

Speaker 2 Exactly.

Speaker 1 Might come in handy. Yeah.

Speaker 9 Yeah. I just went around the ATV with a flashlight shining it in bushes, kind of thinking he's an animal and like noise would scare him away.

Speaker 1 Right, right.

Speaker 9 But the one guy that probably was armed, he was a veteran and he was sitting on top of his truck on a lawn chair, looking out over this field. And I don't know what was in his lap.

Speaker 2 He's so excited right now.

Speaker 1 Yep. It's his time to shine.

Speaker 9 He didn't have a shirt on. He had a bandana on.

Speaker 1 Oh, my. Okay.

Speaker 9 And this is the same guy that got shot in the face with the fireworks no

Speaker 1 he's back he came to camp just on ibuprofen he didn't want to take the heavy stuff and he's like in this crow's nest second degree burns watching over this field for us oh my he's the man for the job he is scarier to me than oh no

Speaker 9 he's the man for the job just all those burns and that's enough to scare someone away maybe yeah he looks like freddy at that point he did get a lot of freddy comparisons yeah whenever he showed up halfway through the week glad he did he's watched now we're making noise we stay up all night no update from the police oh my gosh so it's the last night of camp we did all the lice we're up all night

Speaker 1 and um yeah

Speaker 9 sun comes up and we just pack and go home like it was nothing they didn't catch him until the next day. They did catch them, though.

Speaker 1 Because it doesn't sound like the most competent police department. I think they've sent you the dumbest one.
They're like, all right, we need the smart people looking for him.

Speaker 1 Send Mike over to the camp. And he riles everyone up.
He doesn't help at all.

Speaker 9 They put out a press release saying, we didn't want the public to know where he was at because we didn't want people showing up looking for him.

Speaker 1 Right. The Dak Shepard types.
That was maybe smart.

Speaker 9 They weren't telling us where he was. So we just assumed he could be anywhere.
I think he's still in jail in that local county.

Speaker 1 And you're going back this year?

Speaker 9 Going back this year in a few weeks.

Speaker 1 There's no way that lice treatment worked. If you guys had hung out for another few days, I think everyone would have had it, right?

Speaker 9 There was another camp afterwards, so hopefully they didn't pass on to those kids.

Speaker 1 Yeah, let's fingers crossed. Oh, God.
Well, what an eventful. That's not what you're expecting when you sign up for church camp.
It's not. A manhunt.
Oh, well, Brodia, delight to meet you.

Speaker 1 I think those people are lucky to have you as a co-director of that place.

Speaker 9 I appreciate it. Thank you guys so much for letting me tell my story.
Do you mind if my wife says hi?

Speaker 1 We'd love to meet her. Yeah.

Speaker 9 Okay. Her name is Katie.

Speaker 1 Hi, guys. Hi, Katie.
Hi, Katie. I like all your shoes.

Speaker 2 You got great shoes.

Speaker 9 Thank you.

Speaker 4 Monica, I appreciate this. I do Crisis PR for a living.
Oh, wow. Public relations agency.
And so he calls me and he's like, okay, I need you to set your parent hat aside.

Speaker 4 Our son, Park. Park's fine, but I need you to help me craft a message to these parents.
Like, what do I tell the parents?

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. We've got an active manhunt happening.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 They're going to see this on Facebook from the Kingman County Sheriff's Office Facebook page. Like, we we got to tell these parents something.
So I helped him write a message.

Speaker 1 Say it to the parents. Well, by the way, there's nothing that could be said where you go like, don't worry.
There is a manhunt happening.

Speaker 2 You cloak it in the lice story. So it's mainly about lice.
And then there's just one line about

Speaker 1 like terrible news to share. There has been a lice outbreak.
We've sent the campers home. Write about six paragraphs on that.
I hope they get bored at the end.

Speaker 5 Don't worry.

Speaker 2 We solved it. We shampooed.
There is a killer on the loose. Now, when you get home, do another wash of hair.

Speaker 1 Yes, go back to it.

Speaker 4 Hot water, put it in a plastic bag.

Speaker 1 Oh, by the way.

Speaker 4 I think our main conundrum was, do we tell them we're on lockdown and don't come? That's when I put my parent hat back on. And I was like, you can't tell me not to come get my kid.

Speaker 4 So I said, Brody, assure them they're safe. Tell them all the precautions you're taking.
But also, if they want to come in the middle of the night and get their kid, they have to present an ID.

Speaker 4 We will escort the kid out with all their stuff and like do a safe handoff.

Speaker 1 And they'll never be allowed in camp again.

Speaker 1 A little white threat.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 I'll be just to know how many kids come back this year.

Speaker 1 It's soon to find out.

Speaker 5 Well, you guys are just a delight.

Speaker 1 I agree. It's so nice to meet both of you.

Speaker 4 You too. Bye-bye.

Speaker 1 Bye.

Speaker 1 Oh, cute.

Speaker 2 I want to go to camp.

Speaker 1 I guess I should have known that camps are largely church camps. No.

Speaker 1 I didn't put that together.

Speaker 2 There's so many kinds. I know a lot of people who went to to like gymnastics camp.
Like it's all niche. I went to shielding camp, obviously.

Speaker 1 Oh, and what was that like? You just have to cheer the whole time?

Speaker 2 Well, it was camp, but really it was like training.

Speaker 1 That's my fear. So did you do any canoeing or marshmallows?

Speaker 2 We did marshmallows. We weren't allowed to eat them.
Just kidding.

Speaker 1 So we had to stay tiny. Cheerleading joke.

Speaker 2 That was a really funny cheerleading joke.

Speaker 1 No boys.

Speaker 5 Well, we have boys on our squad. Oh.
People hooked up. They did.
Yeah, people hooked up. Yep.

Speaker 1 Anyone in the showers?

Speaker 1 Probably.

Speaker 2 Fun times.

Speaker 1 Oh, I want to go to camp.

Speaker 2 Well, have a good summer, guys.

Speaker 1 Yeah, enjoy your summer. Pretend you're at camp.
I'm hosting camp this year, is what I'll say.

Speaker 2 Are you going to have popsicles at your camp? Because I like that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, whatever you want. Sky is the limit.
Great. All right.
Love you. Love you.

Speaker 1 Do you want to sing a tune or something? We have a theme song. Oh.

Speaker 1 Okay, great.

Speaker 1 We don't have a

Speaker 1 song for this new show, so here I go, go, go.

Speaker 1 We're gonna ask some random questions, and with the help of Arm Cherry's, we'll get some suggestions

Speaker 1 on the fly rhyme dish,

Speaker 1 on the fly rhyme dish. Enjoy.

Speaker 1 Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondry app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaker 1 You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now by joining Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

Speaker 1 Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondry.com slash survey.

Speaker 7 Hey there, Armchairies.

Speaker 1 Guess what?

Speaker 7 It's Mel Robbins. I'm popping in here taking out my own ad.
Holy cow, Dax, Monica, and I, I don't want this conversation to end, and I'm so glad you're here with us.

Speaker 7 And the other thing, I can't believe, Dax loves the Let Them Theory. He can't stop talking about it.
I hope you're loving listening as much as I love having you here.

Speaker 7 And I also know since you love listening to Armchair Expert, you know what you're going to love listening to? The Let Them Theory audiobook. And guess who reads it?

Speaker 1 Me.

Speaker 7 And even if you've read the book, guess what? The audiobook is different. I tell different stories.
I riff. I cry.
You're going to love it because it's going to feel like I'm right there next to you.

Speaker 7 We're in this together as we learn to stop controlling other people.

Speaker 7 So thanks again for listening to this episode of Armchair Expert and check out the audiobook version of the Let Them Theory, read by yours truly. Available now on Audible.

Speaker 7 You You can even try it out for free with an Audible trial. Download the Audible app today.