Nick Kroll Returns

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Speaker 1 Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Buck Rogers, and I'm joined by Gene Lightyear.

Speaker 2 Hi.

Speaker 1 Hello, returning guest, but long, long time. Long, long time.
Seven years, long time.

Speaker 1 Nick Kroll, an actor, a writer, a comedian, a producer.

Speaker 2 He does it all.

Speaker 1 Big Mouth, Kroll Show, The League, Sazige Party.

Speaker 1 Eighth and final season of Big Mouth out

Speaker 1 on the 23rd. Yes.
And it's spectacular. I watched it.
It's spectacular.

Speaker 2 It is a laugh riot. He's one of those guys in the comedy space.

Speaker 2 just has so many things going on at all times and it's awesome.

Speaker 1 Busy couple weeks for him because also on the 28th he has the FX show Adults. It's on Hulu and on FX.

Speaker 1 And then he has a new movie out on June 6th, I don't understand

Speaker 1 you.

Speaker 1 Those are the many projects and offerings of Nick Crow. Please enjoy Nick Kroll.

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Speaker 1 He's an off-chance.

Speaker 1 He's an off-churcher.

Speaker 1 He's an intrinsic.

Speaker 1 Let me warn Monica that I'm early because I'm always late. Good to see you.

Speaker 2 Welcome back.

Speaker 1 Thanks. Fun pants have arrived.
We got a couple pairs of fun pants.

Speaker 1 Yeah, different versions of fun pants here. And then we've got a really understated guy, a guy who's realized that peace comes from inside and not out.
Little denim.

Speaker 2 You're not into the presentation of it all.

Speaker 1 Well, this has an explanation. And I'm curious, do you ever buy stuff off Instagram? The ads that are curtailed to you? Because I've decided it's time to to enter my aging Japanese sculptor age.

Speaker 1 And I would almost put those pants in that space. I agree.
Versus, you know, go ahead. Because I haven't wrapped my head around what they are yet.
Like a well-to-do carney on vacation.

Speaker 1 But can we also just throw in goggins as like a hint of maybe goggins? Sure.

Speaker 1 Unintentional, but I can tell you what really happened was I see an ad. They weren't these.
And I was like, those look fun. Maybe I would wear those in the summertime.

Speaker 1 A light pant, yeah, ordered them, and then it was like when funding gets complete. And I was like, I didn't know this was a business model, you know, about it.
No, wait, I thought this was a scam.

Speaker 1 You're saying, like, once we raise enough capital, we might actually be able to produce the product that we're selling. That's a business model now

Speaker 1 that I didn't know about, and they're selling them. And it appears they've already made them, but I don't know if it was maybe just a digital, whatever.

Speaker 1 I took a fucking gamble, and then like months later, they raised funding. They arrived.

Speaker 2 Can I feel them?

Speaker 1 Yeah, and then I went on and I just said, I'm going to only wear these all summer. So I ordered every version they make and I'm waiting for funding.
But these ones just came.

Speaker 1 So they're like, we're still raising for a second round. You don't know how many different patch works.
We need so many old lady blankets to make these pants. Oh my God, they do look quilted.

Speaker 1 They're not pricey, guys. I ordered once off Instagram.
They were like short little cool pants. Then I realized they were coming from a bizarre Chinese address.

Speaker 1 And then they came and they were truly the worst material and like a tiny pant but i do want to talk about the sponsors here tonight yeah yeah yeah you guys got please please instagram is instagram a sponsor they're a huge they're our only sponsor congrats but yes i feel guilty and the way i've talked myself out of the guilt is like yeah who knows what the sizing is whenever you order online but i'm not gonna go to a store i get so sleepy when i shop you shut down yes do you ever go with your wife somewhere and she wants to shop on your own you might be into shopping on your own we don't know or you dress up like your wife and go shopping on your own yes i walk into a store with either my daughters or my wife and the very first thing i do is look for the chairs yeah yeah yeah it is there's so many dads on chairs in stores true that would be a thing dads on chairs like instagram that would be a talk show i would watch if it was just like dads on chairs you'd come in you'd be like what's going on how you find out of the family what female in your life is shopping for what i definitely shut down i will go in very occasionally and then i will pull the ripcord and i don't know that's any better because you put it on there and you're like, this is a bingo.

Speaker 1 You bring it home and then still somehow something went wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So my thing is, it's like I just order stuff and then I try it on. I go, great.

Speaker 1 Someone in LA is going to get a great pair of pants. It goes straight to Goodwill.
Oh, really? You just. Yeah.
So there's just like a stream of stuff going to Goodwill that still has the tags on it.

Speaker 1 I would like to find better.

Speaker 1 This is terrible. I want better than Goodwill.
Yeah. I know you.
Whoa, real, real.

Speaker 1 What I worry is that some guy's going to go in, pull Dak Shepard's very nice unworn pants, then sell them at a high-end resale.

Speaker 1 I feel like there are good charities that are people who are looking for work, and so they need nicer interview clothing, stuff like that. I like that, but I need to find those names.

Speaker 1 So, Colin's, can you hit us up? Just to push back a little bit, hard to hate on a hustler. Like, if there's someone coming through

Speaker 1 and they profit off my thing, he's putting in the work, and it is a he. It's a he.

Speaker 1 We know it's a he.

Speaker 1 It's hard to hate a hustler. He

Speaker 1 my pronouns are hustler him. So, So yeah, it's been seven years since you were here.
Wow.

Speaker 1 And if I had bumped into you on the street last month and said randomly, how long do you think it's been since you were on? What would you have said?

Speaker 1 What I remember originally from that conversation, because I went back and listened a little bit today, because I was like, where was I? Where were we? What was happening? And what year was it?

Speaker 1 What I remember was I was talking about getting a car and what car I should get. Because I had like a little Audi A3, nice enough, but slightly understated.
And you were like, go for it, man.

Speaker 1 Fucking get the car you want. So I got a Tesla.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 I got a Tesla and this before any salutes happened.

Speaker 1 I was like, yes, I deserve a big, beautiful, luxurious, fast car. And I had it for like two years.
I liked how it drove, but then I started to not like how the service was.

Speaker 1 There were elements to it that ultimately felt like a reflection. in a way of musk.

Speaker 1 There's a certain obstinence to how it operated as a company that I began to be like, I don't don't like how this is making me feel.

Speaker 1 And then I also started having kids and I didn't want a sedan with car seats. So anyway, it made me think about when was I thinking about a Tesla? I was like, oh, this is before the pandemic.

Speaker 1 And I realized it's been seven years. So I knew it was in that 2019, 2018 region.
If we bumped into each other, my guess would have been, I think three and a half.

Speaker 1 I guess I'm wondering, is your time now warped as you age like mine is? Yeah, well, I think time is hurtling past. Time is moving at a rapid pace.
And I think about this a lot.

Speaker 1 It's partly due to us getting older and every day is shorter. Fractionally less.
Yes. I now have family.
Every window of time is now taken up more than it used to be.

Speaker 1 And I think also the phones and screens are just such that now there's no downtime in any way. Every moment is filled with something.
Like a great podcast like

Speaker 1 sure, sure, sure. Great way to spend three and a half hours.
Wow, you're right. That's a new element I haven't incorporated into my overarching theory on it accelerating.

Speaker 1 There was so much more boredom and boredom takes longer. Yes.
I can't go to the bathroom without pulling out my phone. Yeah.
Taking a picture of my mom. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Sending it to me. Photos in my body.

Speaker 1 My physical body. My physicality and my body.
And I send it to you for your leisure, for your entertainment, for your critique. I think it's only been three years.

Speaker 1 I do have seven years of photos of you. And I love mapping the progress.
And it's been a roller coaster. And I appreciate you letting me know that.
That's fair.

Speaker 1 But I do think time seems to be moving at a pace that feels unparalleled in my life. And untenable.
Untenable. Yes, yes.
Oh, it's all culminating to something.

Speaker 2 I think COVID fucked with it, too. Those couple years.

Speaker 1 Those years are kind of gone.

Speaker 2 They're a blur.

Speaker 1 It's a smear. It is seven years, so COVID falls right in the pocket of that time.

Speaker 1 Now, last interview, I don't remember that I hit you with anything really gotcha, but I do have a single gotcha this one. I'm going to go look harder to go.

Speaker 1 Okay, so I immediately start sweating.

Speaker 1 I start start taking up the pressure. Here it comes.

Speaker 1 Here it comes. I've been waiting.
Here it is. Okay.
You turn down nobody wants this.

Speaker 1 Pause.

Speaker 1 And so my question is,

Speaker 1 huge, why didn't you want to kiss my wife? Slash, how long have you been closeted?

Speaker 2 These are great questions.

Speaker 1 I have been in the closet about not wanting to kiss your wife for years. For years, I've pretended to be charmed and delighted by her.

Speaker 1 That makes sense. So this is a great gotcha.

Speaker 1 By the way, I wouldn't have even known. I was FaceTiming with Kristen right before this.
I go, I have Nick. And she goes, oh, yeah, you know, he turned down nobody wants this.

Speaker 1 And I was like, oh, my God, thank you. Thank you for giving me.
I did my research. Thank you.
All these years in, I'm still doing my research.

Speaker 1 I didn't know

Speaker 1 that.

Speaker 1 Well, you didn't know what to do.

Speaker 1 Okay, here's what happened. You want to take your jacket off? Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is like Matt Damon turning down Avatar and missing out on $250 million. Do you know that story? He tells it openly.
It's wonderful. He was offered 10% of Avatar on the phone with James.

Speaker 1 To be Signore Weaver? And I said everything right here. Yes, absolutely.
To be Signore Weaver. You cannot ignore Signori Weaver.
Wait, for real? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Before the first movie.

Speaker 1 Okay, so I'm in bed with my wife. Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 Because I'm a straight man.

Speaker 1 You're temporarily out of the closet. Temporary with your wife.

Speaker 2 Evidence-by-child. Yes.

Speaker 1 Both of my children who we conceived.

Speaker 1 And you're holding them like a straight

Speaker 1 marital bed as heterosexual husband and wife.

Speaker 1 My wife is like, I started watching the best show and I was like, oh, cool. What's it called? She's like, nobody wants this.
And I was like, oh. And then I was like, oh.

Speaker 1 She's like, I love it. And I was watching it.
I was like, oh, my God. It's like you.

Speaker 2 It's so weird.

Speaker 1 It could be you. It's like hot rabbi.
It's like this. This is the kind of role, huh?

Speaker 1 I'm always telling you you should do and i was like i honestly do love kristen i couldn't want to kiss this woman less

Speaker 1 of course

Speaker 1 yeah you're like is there any kissing yeah

Speaker 1 well and that's like a cooties thing and that's a long time that's a life and you're married now and you refuse to do right romantic work

Speaker 1 my wife wants to kiss your wife and so she would have been jealous of me yeah correct and i can't have

Speaker 1 break up the marriage it's like a movie by that guy who does those kinds of movies Yes. Yeah.
The Carol. Todd Haynes.
Todd Haynes, good. Is that it?

Speaker 1 And when Monica edits, you're going to go like that guy, Todd Haynes.

Speaker 2 Haynes, you got it.

Speaker 1 Oh, I meant Todd Hayes. This is a guy who's making movies in the valley.

Speaker 1 I'm involved with investing and stuff. So I was like, I think they maybe offered this show to me.

Speaker 1 And then I went back and I wasn't sure if they had offered it to me or if they just wanted to talk to me about it. And I still don't quite know whether it was, this is yours or you're one of people.

Speaker 1 Because when I read it, I was like, this is good. Kristen's amazing, but they should cast Adam Brody to be this guy.
Well, hold on a second. I swear to God.
Okay, great.

Speaker 1 By the way, I didn't know till today they offered it to you, but when I read it, I was like, you got to get Brody. He's the only option.
Yes. Because he's the only symmetrical Jew.

Speaker 1 He is heartthrob Jew. Can I have a tissue? Absolutely.

Speaker 1 A whole box. Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 Dax, that was so aggressive.

Speaker 1 That was meant to be aggressive. This was not.
Oh, can I have that over here? Oh, absolutely. I'm going to take one from me.
Mind if I just spit Lugies out while we

Speaker 1 test. I'm just a disgusting mess.

Speaker 2 Constantly knows.

Speaker 1 So you have children and you're just sick for six years. Oh, that's on camera? Yes.
Oh.

Speaker 1 But so good, but let's leave the discussion. Let's put that on the floor.
I'm sorry to do this. Kleenex is a personal sponsor, and I travel with my sponsors show to show.

Speaker 1 So if this is okay, we can just do this. We should do a celebrity line of Kleenex.
Nobody has touched that smell. Nobody's touched it.
They think Kleenex is because they got the branding on it.

Speaker 2 I could see your faces on the

Speaker 2 Kleenex box. How cute.

Speaker 1 I think we're both blowing our nose in a very cute and appealing way.

Speaker 1 Sick little cutie.

Speaker 1 Why did I turn that down? I'm a sick little cutie. Oh, I have a snippet.

Speaker 1 Sick little cutie. Nobody wants this.

Speaker 1 Nobody wants this cold.

Speaker 1 Wow. But Brody, I remember checking him, but I think he's half Jewish, which explains the square.
The Jews are all kind of angles and circles. Yeah.
And he's got enough of it. It's in the eyes.

Speaker 1 You feel the sweet kindness of it. Yes.
But then there's like still the square shape of it all. I keep doing this.
Does that make sense? Yes.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it does. It does.

Speaker 1 Now, did you go so far as to go back through your emails to see? You did. It was an offer.
I don't remember.

Speaker 1 I don't know if I fully went back through, have I regretted it watching Adam absolutely just

Speaker 1 watch one of the biggest shows on Netflix ever and people fall in love with him all over again. Yeah, do you care or not care?

Speaker 1 There's so many elements that go into these things, especially as you have a family and just choices change slightly where you're like, how does this work?

Speaker 1 Life just becomes a much more complicated puzzle of, can I go and make this thing? Literally, it was dead in the middle of when we were having our baby. There were a lot of elements that went into it.

Speaker 1 And yeah.

Speaker 1 If you've asked me if I've watched it, I have not. I cannot watch it.
Oh, that's fantastic. Have you had anyone where you really wanted it? Someone else got it.

Speaker 1 It still smarts when I go out for things, but as a producer and maker of things,

Speaker 1 you really take the heat off of yourself and others when you don't get something for various reasons.

Speaker 1 You can still be very, very good and not write for this based on the particular part or the equation that they are. putting out.

Speaker 1 So major reason I became a writer and producer was to avoid the powerlessness of being cast. I cannot cede this much control.
I cannot handle that.

Speaker 1 So I need to start making things so that I can start to be the one who controls

Speaker 1 Fengali.

Speaker 1 The Jewish monster controlling the media property. Rise.

Speaker 1 That was my take on nobody wants this. And they didn't want that.
They didn't want my take. George Moss.

Speaker 1 Those two words are never together.

Speaker 1 I think they're heard together quite a bit these days. The one that I'm dealing with right now, Jesse Armstrong's HBO movie, The Guy Who Made Succession.
Yes, yes. There is a part in there.
I got set.

Speaker 1 They were like, Jesse Armstrong's doing this thing. Perell, Rami, Jason Schwartzman.
Succession to me is just the best thing made. It's perfect.
It's perfect.

Speaker 1 This one is about billionaires on a mountaintop over like a weekend.

Speaker 1 And they're all tech billionaires. And I was like, it's rare that a part or a group of people feels like, I feel real for that.
Let me be a shitty little tech billionaire in that thing.

Speaker 1 Overcoming a lot of childhood trauma of being overlooked and then trying to rule the world because no one wanted to kiss you. Exactly.

Speaker 1 Then coming down to this big, massive story about where we are as a culture and humanity, then boiled down to like a beautiful personal story. I auditioned.
My family put me on tape. Self-tape.

Speaker 1 Self-tape on like a Sunday after a brunch. It was the only time to get it done.
You're so funny. That's relevant.
Were you duval? It was like a family brunch. We had to do the family brunch.

Speaker 1 And then I was like, I don't know when I'm going to do this tape. My wife's like, let's do it right now.
And so I fucking did it.

Speaker 1 You can hear my son screaming in the background of the tape. And I sent it in.
You're waiting and waiting and waiting. And then.
Did you get it? No. Oh.
No. Oh, no.
I'm fucking here.

Speaker 2 I didn't know that was the end.

Speaker 1 You seen the fucking trailer?

Speaker 1 I'm not in it. I know all those guys a little bit, except Corey Michael Smith, who I adore.
We love him. I love his height.
I love his three first names. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So I watch that trailer and I'm like, oh, those guys are all great. This is going to be great.
But boy, oh, boy, did I want to fucking be in that so badly. Yeah.
I have no beef towards any of them.

Speaker 2 Except your son. You resent your son, I assume.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I blame my family. Yeah.
Yeah, you should.

Speaker 1 You really should. I blame my son.
You should watch it with him. This is what daddy shouldn't be doing if he hadn't done what he did.

Speaker 1 You couldn't control your emotions for four minutes while I self-tape. But you know, I do just want to put a fine point on that.
I too have been liberated by casting people.

Speaker 1 I just wish every actor could start casting people. Yes.
Because, man, it takes all the fucking onus off your shoulders. Yeah, you're just like, you're great, but you're not right for this.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So be it. However, the other part of casting, I will say, is that certain people are undeniable.
Yeah. And every once in a while, you're like, they're not exactly right, but they are undeniable.

Speaker 1 And so we are going to cast them. They force you to rewrite your original idea.
And in my worst moments, I'm like, but if I were undeniable.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we all just want to be undeniable.

Speaker 1 Undeniable.

Speaker 1 Okay, well, that was great. You turned on Nobody Wants.
I think that'll be a hot story. Headlines flying.
Oh, my God. People

Speaker 1 are so thrilled

Speaker 1 by what the final outcome is.

Speaker 1 How much do you guys consult each other about the stuff you do?

Speaker 2 Quite a bit. She has to get permission, obviously.

Speaker 1 Yes, I only let her work. That's a gift.
Okay, okay. I guess that's stupid.
That's

Speaker 1 it. Because of the modern times, I was trying to be polite.
Yeah, so if I've decided it's in the window, I want her to work.

Speaker 1 If I've decided she's done having children, we have such opposite personalities. I know what she'll get in love with and she'll get blinded by this one element.

Speaker 1 And then I'll just be the little voice going, well, you also need a really good director or you also need blank.

Speaker 1 And then conversely, she'll be monitoring my ego and my low self-esteem and reminding me, you know, we help each other in that way. Do you have that? I do have that with my wife.

Speaker 1 Right now, there's the creative stuff of like, I'm excited by this. She'll be like, that's great.
For example, the Jesse Armstrong. You also have indigestion, which is like the triple crowns coming

Speaker 1 if you break a bone.

Speaker 1 So this cough that you're going to hear, I've had for three weeks. I have two children under five.
I believe I've had walking pneumonia like three times in the last year. And I'm coughing up.

Speaker 1 I mean, this is just the reality. You're in a month to five.

Speaker 1 Your kids are older than mine, but you're still carrying. We just got healthy last year after 12 years.
I seem to be coughing up and it's all color-based where I'm like, it's not this green.

Speaker 1 So everything's okay. I can be in public.
I just call the doctor and I'm like, it's this. It's sort of between

Speaker 2 yellow.

Speaker 1 It's just banana yellow. It's kind of banana yellow.
Can you see this, Paisley, in here? Can you see the color? Sometimes it's this, so I'm not that worried. Call me when it's kiwi inside of a kiwi.

Speaker 1 And tell me when the seeds start coming out. And you have your Z-Packs.
I did start, and I've tried to avoid antibiotics because I'm RFK till I die,

Speaker 1 which I think will be sooner than. than I think.
He's a great role model. Germ theory is a joke.

Speaker 1 But I did finally lock into the antibiotics. I was like, I got to do a bunch of press stuff.
I got to get clean.

Speaker 1 Now here I am on day three of the Z PAC. It's like,

Speaker 1 and the indigestion. Why didn't I play the rabbi?

Speaker 1 Anyway, my wife, I trust her opinion on things. What she's really good at is also being like, whether the piece of material is whatever it is, and sometimes that's just for me to figure out.

Speaker 1 She will monitor, does this seem like this something that feels exciting to you or something that you want to do versus intellectually a good decision yes does this spark joy and excitement yeah now you know since i interviewed you i don't know if this is a fair assessment but i had this and maybe i told you then i don't think i was brave enough to but i have admired your choices from the get-go truly and i guess my conclusion was it maybe it was just to mitigate my judgment of myself, but do you think knowing your dad has money has helped?

Speaker 1 Yeah, we did. I actually went to do that.
Yeah. It was interesting because I went back and was listening to our podcast on the way here.
They do my research like you do, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I was FaceTime with Kristen, you should have.

Speaker 1 Did she tell you I was not offered any roles, and nobody wants this?

Speaker 1 They offered you to play her sister. Yeah, we covered that a little, and it was interesting.

Speaker 1 And I think it was sort of a realization in that interview where I was like, Oh, this is so interesting to go back and hear yourself or a conversation you had seven years later, how your mind works, where you still will pop up with a similar thought.

Speaker 1 Or I'll record my stand-up and I'll improvise in a moment and I'll be listening back and my mind will have a very similar idea again. It makes you be like, boy, I'm not fucking that interesting.

Speaker 1 Boy, I'm not a multidimensional.

Speaker 2 You believe what you're doing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, your mind goes to a similar place. So I was listening to it and I was like, oh, wow.
I hadn't talked about that much. And it was very kind of you to say.

Speaker 1 And I do think the major advantage of my parents growing up very comfortable and very privileged. was the luxury of choice.

Speaker 1 And so as I had my career, I could make choices based on the fact that I had a backstop. If it didn't work, I was going to be okay.

Speaker 1 That has been the great freedom of that has allowed me to make decisions based on that.

Speaker 1 What has changed is now that I have a family and now that I have responsibilities beyond myself, I feel a greater pressure and decisions that are weighed by more than just pure, does this spark joy?

Speaker 1 Well, my immediate thought was not to try to reshame you from being privileged. No, I do that to myself constantly.

Speaker 1 And if you want to go to the internet, they've been doing a great job of it as well for years. I wondered more because you do produce things now, and there is an element of your now growing business.

Speaker 1 By the way, my favorite production company name I've ever seen, you know, his production companies named Good at Business, right? Is that what it is? Yes, yes, good at business.

Speaker 1 It was Bobby Bottle Service, my old character. I'm good at business.
Those guys all want to be good at business. And I wanted to change it at some point.

Speaker 1 And then I was like, no, I think that's just it. Don't ever change it.
It's so, so good. As a performer, you just want to be ignited and have fun and be engaged and keep that momentum going.

Speaker 1 As a producer, it's a different endeavor. You must consider the marketplace.
That also is another advantage is my dad built a business and I got to watch him have a business.

Speaker 1 That was a major benefit to me in innumerable ways, but particularly in understanding the literal economics, but less the economics, more just the managing of something.

Speaker 1 And particularly, my dad was an entrepreneur and built stuff. And so in building a business, I just saw it growing up.

Speaker 1 Whereas it sounds like you talked about how you grew up that wasn't around so you learning how to build a business had to come innately from yourself what i did see i want to give my dad credit my dad was an entrepreneur he started many businesses and they would work out for a while and he would buy a bunch of stuff and then he would go bankrupt and just over and over

Speaker 1 gotcha He was a passionate guy at starting things and not a great manager of things. And that is a distinction.
It's probably your healing has been like build something and then maintain it.

Speaker 1 Protect it, be a good steward of it. Yes.

Speaker 1 And I would say that as I continue to make things and watch other people make things and the difference between people who really successfully make things and the people who struggle to make things that really blossom is the ability to start something, have an idea that's great, but then continue to fucking grind it until it's right.

Speaker 1 Because we know a lot of people in our business who have great ideas, write a great version of a script. A great first draft.
That needs work. They don't want to keep working it.

Speaker 1 And you got to keep sculpting it and polishing it and editing it over and over and over for it to actually work. Yeah.

Speaker 1 the endurance aspect of the business isn't something that people really talk about or think about quite often. It's not the fun part.
And that's my problem with your fucking dad. Tell me.

Speaker 1 Please let it rip.

Speaker 1 This is season eight of Big Mouth. By the way, I watched three episodes last night.
It's this good now or better than it has ever been. Thank you.
I just was dying last night. It's so fucking good.

Speaker 1 That's the longest running show on Netflix, adult show. Actually, nobody wants this.
Now has been on for 10 seasons. Oh, they somehow.

Speaker 1 No, it'll be the longest running scripted series on Netflix, which is crazy. We did eight seasons on Big Mouth and then Human Resources, which we did a spin-off of for two seasons.

Speaker 1 So it's about 100 episodes of this universe that we built. I really think this season's as funny as any of the seasons we made.
No, it's incredible. So we're year eight, right? No.

Speaker 1 And can I announce it? We've done seven. I'm sorry.
But can I announce it? This is the final season. Yeah, this is the last interview.
This is the end.

Speaker 1 Because we all died from Kroll's children's illness they picked up at preschool.

Speaker 1 Not because we wanted to end the show. But with your show.
Eight seasons in. Do you have these psychotic moments where you're like, I think this show sucks and nothing new is happening.

Speaker 1 I got to change it. And then I'm like, no, you don't.
Do you have that battle? This particular show, because it's a show about kids going through puberty and adolescence, we made a decision.

Speaker 1 Pretty early on that the kids would continue to change.

Speaker 1 Literally, the song is called Changes, the theme song, Charles Bradley, based off an Ozzy Black Sabbath song originally and it's about we're going through changes like the show is about change and evolution and so we were decided early on these kids are going to change emotionally but they're also going to physically change season eight the final season my character Nick who's been tiny the whole run of the show how I was through puberty hits a growth spurt he's in high school now and he grows and like the character grew.

Speaker 1 Guy hit puberty and then all of a sudden in 10th grade, I grew like six inches. Yeah.
And all of a sudden I was taller than Andrew.

Speaker 1 So because the show and the characters continued to change and evolve in a real tangible way, it never felt old or stale.

Speaker 1 That has made the show always interesting and always new and always exciting, as opposed to whether it's like a podcast or a sitcom or a show where people kind of want things to stay the same or people like what they like.

Speaker 1 There's a sweet spot. Howard evolved.
If you chart Stern from 95 till now, it is a different show, but it was just this perfect level of incremental change. Yeah.
as he acknowledged his own changing.

Speaker 1 He very smartly kept it evolving in that way. And I think on our show, in a way, you start with Nick and Andrew.
It's based on me and my friend Andrew Goldberg's life. And we start to grow out.

Speaker 1 It's like, oh, this girl, Jesse, and she got her period. And then it's like, oh, she needs a hormone monster.
And then it's like, oh, there's this girl, Missy. And then there's Jay.

Speaker 1 And let's start to explore his house and family. And then by season eight, you just keep broadening out who your focus is and what stories you can tell.

Speaker 1 And then always knowing you can come back to your your core kids. But there was always new stuff to tackle and look at and try to understand.
I want to frame this whole thing.

Speaker 1 The theme of this one, I want to be best friends. This interview.
Great. Because I'm still best friends with my best friend from 11, Aaron Weakley.
You talked to him daily.

Speaker 1 Almost. You talked to Andrew Weakley daily? Joe.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 Aaron Weakley. But you know why he didn't work? Sadly, it's W-E-A-K.
Like he's a weakling, but he's very strong. I bet he is.
Please don't challenge him. But that must have affected him.

Speaker 1 Is he a muscular fellow? No, he's way cooler. He loves who he is more than I do.

Speaker 1 And that's why you guys are good friends.

Speaker 1 You're a star who hates himself, and he's a regular guy who's totally at peace. So I'm watching last night the show, and it still shockingly goes hard.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 The whole time you're kind of like, I really can't believe it's on TV, which is a fun feeling to constantly have. Thank you.

Speaker 1 And I wonder, could you have done that show solo, or do you think you and Andrew have a bubble where you're like, as long as you and I think this is okay, it's okay.

Speaker 1 Andrew, who I've known since I was six, and we were best friends in middle school. We stayed friends in high school.

Speaker 1 He went to college with actually a couple of friends of mine, but then he came out to L.A. and he started working in animation.
He worked his way up through Family Guy.

Speaker 1 He was McFarlane's assistant and then became a writer and then producer there. For eight seasons.
Yeah. Somebody does do his research.
I watched you and McFarlane talk. It was really interesting.

Speaker 1 Even the thing you just said that your characters age, it didn't even occur to me like, oh, yeah, cartoons, the characters don't ever age. No, that's unique.
I actually met McFarlane through Andrew.

Speaker 1 It was crazy when I met Seth. And then we haven't seen each other very much because I've stopped crooning.

Speaker 1 So we don't see each other on the circuit. Yeah.
Having that conversation with him, I was like, oh, this is very weird.

Speaker 1 There are not many people I could have this conversation with besides a couple of people like Seth McFarland who created a show. Trey and Matt won't talk to me.

Speaker 1 I think with Andrew and I, we had the same thing where I was like around sixth, seventh grade, we started hanging out constantly and we just made each other laugh and then we went to camp together and we were doing campfire skits and we were like if this is funny to us then who cares but then we went our own ways and then we came back together with this show where he came to me with mark levin and jen flackett who he had been their assistant when he first moved to la

Speaker 1 25 years ago. And then they worked in film and television.
They made a bunch of stuff. And then they came to me with this idea.
They're like, it's you and Andrew going through puberty. It's animated.

Speaker 1 That was an idea where it's like, yes, let's go. We all just bring different skills to this thing.

Speaker 1 The creative bubble of being like, I have whatever I do, my voices, the people I know that I can call in to do stuff.

Speaker 1 They have an unbelievable knowledge of storytelling and animation and creating a structure and family that makes for a show. So I could do what I do, they could do what they do.

Speaker 1 You know, we started the show 25 years after we were those boys. We created a show together that we've now done for eight seasons, but we hadn't worked together in 25 years.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And then we come back together, work together, fucking doing Wayne's World sketches. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Talon shows us us doing literal word-for-word Wayne's World.

Speaker 1 We didn't work together since

Speaker 1 we ripped off every Saturday Night Live sketch and became heroes.

Speaker 1 But it's been both gratifying comedically and artistically, but on a human level, so unbelievably gratifying to reunite with your best friend from childhood to make this thing that then worked in a way that you could never have imagined if 13-year-old Nick and Andrew are like, you're going to get to go make an animated show

Speaker 1 on Netflix, no less, a thing that they will understand entirely.

Speaker 1 The streaming service and the computer. Yeah.
What?

Speaker 2 That's pretty wild.

Speaker 1 It's crazy.

Speaker 1 Stay tuned for more armchair expert

Speaker 1 if you dare.

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Speaker 1 Huge when I'm constantly around people for interviews. Less than three bucks a day doing the work of multiple supplements.

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Speaker 1 You know, we had back-to-back Halloween, then I traveled to Palm Springs, hosted a birthday party, came back, and my first thought was like, oh, I got to totally recharge. Went straight to the AG1.

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Speaker 2 You're good in partnership because you have it with Milaney too. Do you prefer working with a person?

Speaker 1 I do. I love a person.
I mean, I love a sex doll. Let's be honest.
To write with and nothing sexual.

Speaker 1 Store your pens in their flushlight.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're great at breaking. They're great at storing.
They're great at holding the pens.

Speaker 1 But I do like partnership. It's like watching you guys.
There's just something intangible about the conversation that for me personally, I'm much more generative that way. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 We've done other shows with other people. And if we sit down, we have to stop ourselves.
Going to fact check. We literally have to stop ourselves.
Like, oh, it's been too long.

Speaker 2 But, you know, it also.

Speaker 1 She's about to tell you that she loves working with other people and that she would like to permanently work with other people.

Speaker 2 I'm not. I'm going to say that I think sometimes in a three environment, it can be hard.

Speaker 2 And I can imagine sometimes, probably, I'm not putting words in your mouth, but I assume that sometimes you're like, it might be easier if it was just me. Not all the time, but in a real way.

Speaker 2 Like, well, this person has their own thoughts and I'm coming in with the structure. So I think some people do prefer a solo creative endeavor.
And that's understandable too.

Speaker 1 Well, that's your stand-up. You get that as well.
Yes, I get that in stand-up. I do love to do that in stand-up, but I always feel a little insecure.
Insecure is probably the wrong word.

Speaker 1 Like I want to kill myself.

Speaker 2 Suicide.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like ideation. No, but I do feel oftentimes like I'm better in conversation.
And when I do stand up, I love it.

Speaker 1 But I'm like, oh, am I lacking that spark that creatively thinks can come out of me when I'm in conversation that don't come out of me alone. Okay,

Speaker 1 Mulaney, I was going to bring that up too. I got to say, I was embarrassingly kind of ill-informed on Mulaney.
Turns out so was I.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 yeah. Then I was on a trip that he was on.
I was like, oh, I really like him. I'm going to watch his stand-up special.
I watch it.

Speaker 2 No, I think I was like, you got to watch it.

Speaker 1 You had been pushing hard for Mulaney. You're a first-in Mulaney fan.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think he's great.

Speaker 1 And so I watched his stand-up special and I'm an addict, anything addict I like. It's so fucking great.

Speaker 1 But then I was wondering, were you at that intervention i produced that intervention yeah i'm not surprised good for business good at business good at business

Speaker 1 not good for business not good at business not good for business losing your mind

Speaker 1 it was

Speaker 1 uh

Speaker 1 I mean, you've been on probably both sides of it. Just to tell you really quick, so Aaron, the reason we're back in business is he went another 19 years after I got sober.
He got sober five years ago.

Speaker 1 And so we too had a restart basically five years ago. And it's like, oh, good, back in business.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was

Speaker 1 so, I mean, you can tell me you don't want to talk about it. No, because I mean, I do.
Because I had a relapse and Monica had to deal with it. Yeah.
And she had to be detecting things.

Speaker 1 And we've explored that a lot. And I think a lot of addicts get to go on TV and talk about the experience.
And I think they get to do stand-ups about it.

Speaker 1 And I don't really think you hear enough from the people who are fucking terrified and thinking you're losing your mind, maybe. Yeah.
Maybe you and I can do a separate podcast about that.

Speaker 1 For real, it's so hard. It was so scary and brutal to go through because he was in New York.
I was in L.A. It was the height of the pandemic.

Speaker 1 So it was incredibly stressful to be in the midst of the pandemic trying to literally coordinate and produce a intervention, bringing a bunch of different people together, friends from college.

Speaker 1 And my wife was very pregnant. And I was shooting, don't worry, darling, which there was no stress there.

Speaker 1 There wasn't for me personally in that, except it was at the height of COVID pre-vaccine. I had a very pregnant wife and we had COVID scares and that was happening.

Speaker 1 And then John was running around New York City like a true madman. Yeah.
And I was so deeply scared that he was going to die. Yes.
And I was.

Speaker 1 trying to orchestrate all this of combining all the elements that go into these things, like the intervention person, where he was going to go, who was going to be. Yeah, you need all that lined up.

Speaker 1 It was so fucking stressful.

Speaker 1 And then all of a sudden, I don't know how long your relapse was, but you're all of a sudden going back being like, oh, that's why I've had an inconsistent friend for the last X amount of time. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, this explains that. And so it gives you both empathy for them and also a tremendous amount of anger because they've been lying to the deception.
The deception.

Speaker 2 Was there a lead up of like, hey, man, are you all right? Was there a lot of that pre-intervention?

Speaker 1 Yeah. I have a very clear memory of.
being outside at my house. There was someone working inside of my house.
This is again COVID. We had just moved into our new house.
We were about to have our kid.

Speaker 1 It was just so intense. And I was trying to have these conversations with all these people while this was happening.
It was the same week.

Speaker 1 I have a very clear memory of being outside, like sitting on the ground on the phone with him, both of us crying, me just being like, I'm so scared. You're going to die.

Speaker 1 And so I felt him feeling the same way, but also like,

Speaker 1 just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway, I'm in this new Airbnb.
I got to go.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I have really not talked about this at all, but watching how it evolved, because also when he came out of rehab and started doing stand-up all about it, he was still pretty fucking pissed about the intervention because he was having a good time.

Speaker 1 I don't know how you felt when you got clean. There's a lot to unpack for years.
He was pretty angry. It was also like, oh, I don't know if I like having jokes about me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Especially when you went out on a huge lift.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, like, God, I don't know if that feels so great. If that's the reward for getting put through the emotional ring.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 But then we talked about it, and I was like, I don't love how you're representing this. And he was like, I totally hear you.
And everyone's process and art is different.

Speaker 1 So what he's willing to share, I mean, it's what makes him so fucking funny and dynamic and intoxicating as a performer is that he's giving you a written version of his life, but he is giving you access to elements of himself.

Speaker 1 And I myself am very. guarded in certain ways like that, but it's what makes him such an amazing stand-up.
But I wonder, so for Aaron, we had 16 years of him still at it. And I never said a word.

Speaker 1 I knew what was going on. He knew what was going on.
I'd go back to Detroit. We'd spend time together.
I knew he was doing his best in those times to not be as fucked up as he was.

Speaker 1 And the very first time I ever said anything was he was growing weed at the time. There was a house next door.
He wanted to buy. Michael's nothing wrong with that.
Keep going.

Speaker 1 Everything's great. On the up and up.
So I bought him this house. I bought like a house in Detroit for $65,000.
And I called him on a Monday to say like, hey, the house is closed.

Speaker 1 You can start growing weed in there. And he didn't call me back for like five days, which is just not him.
Even in the height of his addiction, he's very responsive.

Speaker 1 By day four, I'm wondering, is he dead? Yeah. And then when I finally get on the phone with him on day five and he goes, oh, hey, sorry, dad, I had the worst flu.

Speaker 1 And I go, Aaron, dude, who do you think you're talking to? I had a lot of those flus. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I go, I think you're going to die really soon. And I don't want you to.

Speaker 1 And I have a fucking treatment center in the Caribbean. If you want to go, it's handled.
In my mind, I'm like 98% sure he's going to say, fuck you. And he goes,

Speaker 1 yeah, I'll go. And I was like, oh my fucking God.
Yeah. Well, I just got to add one thing for the comedy.
He doesn't have a passport.

Speaker 1 So now he knows he's going to treat it, but we have to wait five days. That was the most stressful five days of my life.
Yes. Is he going to make it? It's exactly that feeling.

Speaker 1 I knew for a little while what stuff was going on, but not for however long he had been using. It was only near the end.
The fear is, you're gonna lie to me or you're gonna be obfuscating.

Speaker 1 There's a point where there's nothing to lose, right? My main concern, and now I will approach you about this, is I think you're gonna die. Yeah.
And that's all I can tell you.

Speaker 1 He talks about, I was the first one to speak. And also, he's like, Nick didn't get the memo that we were all going to be nice to John.
And I was like, Nobody got the memo.

Speaker 1 I just was like, I'm a good student.

Speaker 1 If the job is to tell you a letter of how you've been a bad friend, and I'm gonna tell you how you've been a bad friend because this is no more joking around no more nice shit like yes

Speaker 2 serious this is serious that's the tightrope I think with addicts I didn't know any before I knew Dex but it is a tightrope to walk where you're not alienating them so that they just completely go off the deep end don't talk to you anymore but you have to also say that you see something's wrong i was just at such a loss and i was just like i know you're doing this and then there was just like i'm not doing it yeah

Speaker 2 Also, you're in survival mode too. Yeah,

Speaker 1 if I tell you I'm doing it, then the next thing is I have to stop. Yeah.
Yeah. And I can't at that moment.
I'm not there yet.

Speaker 1 It ultimately, thank God, because where he's landed and how well he's doing in all way is amazing. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then I'll put an end to this because I don't want you to feel like in any way it's exploitative, but I will add, I just told a story recently. I worked with a comedian.

Speaker 1 who was supposed to be sober, got fucked up in the movie, did so many things. I was about to say innumerable.
You already said it a while ago, and I didn't want to repeat enumerable.

Speaker 1 It's so good. He did so many things.
We almost got in a fist fight on sex. He tried to put glasses on my face and poked me in the eye and he was so disruptive and it was a mess.

Speaker 1 And then two weeks after, I hate his guts. He has to have an actual cop on set with him.
That's how bad it got.

Speaker 1 And there was a point where he's running through this store and the cops chasing him like Barney Fife is a heavy set cop. And he's going, chase me, officer, chase me.

Speaker 1 And I'm on my fucking chair waiting i just start laughing so hard and i'm like oh my god he's so funny it broke my hatred and i started laughing and it's hard to have compassion for people who are charismatic but it can be harder for people who are really funny and charismatic because they can win people back over that's the problem with addiction is the rascal there's something so charming about the rascal and the person who kind of can't stop themselves for going for it and it's intoxicating yeah and they're worried also if they lose that element then does the whole thing unravel?

Speaker 1 So I totally get that. Yeah.
I wanted to say a few more things about Big Mouth. One is, did I write it? You're at 67 characters you've done on the show.
I believe it's 79. More than

Speaker 1 it was fun to watch you and McFarlane talk. I encourage people, if they're animation nerds, to find you guys chatting.

Speaker 1 And I was also thinking, what an accomplishment for you to have done eight seasons there. But you're also talking your dude who's done 20 really minimizes.
He's like, actually, I've done 138 seasons.

Speaker 1 American Dad. Yes.
25,000 seasons of family guy. Boy, there's a difference between early 2000s and 90s TV money.
I asked Mike Scher this at one point when I was interviewing him.

Speaker 1 I'm like, does it make you a little bit mad that if you had the same career in the 80s and 90s, you would own the Red Sox. You'd be Tom Warner.
Yeah. Totally.

Speaker 1 And you, eight seasons of a fucking show, you'd have a couple hundred million dollars.

Speaker 2 I would. Dark could upset you, Nick.

Speaker 1 No, because daddy's got so much money.

Speaker 1 No, but what I will say is we've done fine on the show. It would have been a different thing years ago, but also we could not have made Big Mouth in the 90s or early 2000s when we came in.

Speaker 1 We were the 33rd produced show by Netflix, now in the fucking hundred millions of shows.

Speaker 1 But at that point, they were so early, they were letting us do literally whatever we wanted and letting us take incredibly big risks.

Speaker 1 And we have been grandfathered into continuing to be able to take those risks. We could not make that show there now exactly.
Yes.

Speaker 1 And by the way, this is so in keeping with the thing I admire about you, which is you might not have gotten $100 million,

Speaker 1 but you made something that could almost not be made. And of course, on your deathbed, you'll have so much more pride in that.

Speaker 1 Right in my deathbed, as I'm dying, I'm like, I got so many animated kids to jerk off.

Speaker 1 We just announced that we're making this new show called Mating Season that will come out a year from now, as if it were not another season of Big Mouth, but on a similar schedule as Big Mouth, called Mating Season about animals dating and fucking in the woods.

Speaker 1 Oh, wonderful. Wow.
I knew a great grizzly bear voice.

Speaker 1 I'm like, okay.

Speaker 1 I'm chafed. Can we revisit this in an hour? It sounds like you're my welfare brain watching.
Exactly. America's going to be a record gold winner.

Speaker 1 When your little ones come in cold from building a snowman, make them an extra thick bowl of quick rolls. Can you say diabetes diabetes

Speaker 1 get your blood sugar checked regularly

Speaker 1 it's so funny to think about now he's promoting Quaker oats that glucose spike from that oatmeal they'll nail you what a hypocrite Wilfred Brimley was that will be a different kind of show where it won't be kids going through puberty it's a show about dating and relationships so it'll be interesting to start that so i'm excited that we're continuing this team the machine game

Speaker 1 and it makes sense for a viewer to be like oh i liked big mouth now it's about dating and fucking as adults.

Speaker 1 Okay, the other thing I wanted to say about Big Mouth, similar to when I was watching the studio, have you watched the studio? I watched most of it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 There's so many accomplishments in the studio. Technically, it's so impressive.
It's so fucking funny. It's so well acted.

Speaker 1 But when we met with Seth about it, I was like, can you zoom out and take a little bit of pride about the people that are willing to come be with you?

Speaker 1 And when I look at the amount of people you've had on Big Mouth over the last eight years, are you able to take in what a testament it is to your character and just that people would want to work with you?

Speaker 1 Like that to me, I would hope would be one of the nicest things about the show. Thank you.
That's a very nicely observed thing. And it's true.

Speaker 1 I have a tremendous amount of pride in the core group who was on that show. It's Mulaney, it's Maya Rudolph, Fred Armison, Jordan Peel's literally last acting job.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Literally, my friend Jesse Klein, a genius writer, performer, and now Io Debore

Speaker 1 and jason manzoukis that's the core cast andrew rannels then the people that we've had on the show it's insane a few years ago cynthia rivo came to me and was like i'd love to do something on the show and i was like great we first went to her with a song to do and we were like hey we have this amazing thing she was like amazing let me hear the demo and she heard it and she was like it's a great song but i am a diva she doesn't mean like i'm a diva but like i'm a diva and so for me to sing this song this song has to change yeah to to make sense for me to sing it.

Speaker 1 Right. You don't invite Jordan to play, well, no, he has to go at golf.
Maybe invite him to play golf.

Speaker 1 You could probably win a couple hundred thousand dollars off him. He's good as a basketball player.
He's fine, golf. He's fine.
He's fine.

Speaker 1 Not with the way I've been fucking. He's going to come for you.

Speaker 2 You know, he has been dead. Oh.

Speaker 1 And that's when it became personal.

Speaker 1 That whole last dance, everything is just like. That's when it became personal.
Most of his energy was figuring out how he could hate his opponent. Go back and watch his Hall of Fame speech.

Speaker 1 He's nitpicking like the guy who made the team in high school over him? It's like, bro, you did it. You can't became Michael Jordan without making an enemy.
You have to be a fucking killer.

Speaker 1 And it proves, more importantly, you think a trophy and success will heal those ones. No, you actually just got to go heal those ones.
But I think that that's what the great.

Speaker 1 mystery of life and however you're competitive, whether you're an athlete or if you're making stuff, you have to figure out whatever those wounds created that generates your ambition, your drive, your desire to make things or to be great

Speaker 1 how can you heal that thing and maintain that drive yes harness it and then put it away when you need to put it away and that's a really hard thing to do because that inner critic is what drives you and it's also what destroys you coming back to what you're saying cynthia rivo doesn't do that part then we come back to her like would you like to play missy's vagina and she's like I would love to.

Speaker 1 She's great. There's a scene with it's Cynthia Rivo, Iowa Deborah as Missy, Quinta Brunson as the doctor, and Tanduay Newton as Missy's hormone monster.
I look at that scene.

Speaker 1 I'm just like, this is fucking heavy hitters across the board.

Speaker 1 Lupiz and Yongo. We have multiple Oscar winners.
We have a cast of an Alexander Payne movie or something. So funny.
We're going to make some video that'll come out.

Speaker 1 There's like 34 Oscar nominations, 18 Oscars in the show. Shall we talk for a second about I Don't Understand You? Sure.
Tell us what happens in this. So this movie is me and Andrew Reynolds.

Speaker 1 We are married, going on our 10-year anniversary, trying to hold on to our marriage a little bit. We've been trying to adopt a baby unsuccessfully, and we go to Italy.

Speaker 1 We end up in this little Nona's house in the middle of nowhere or Vieto, and shit goes wrong. One after another, it's a crazy night, basically.

Speaker 1 What feels like you're watching at the beginning is, oh, it's kind of a sweet little rom-com, a couple struggling on vacation. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then it all unfurls into like a farce, thriller, very funny, bloody, funny. I'm a bit neurotic, a bit controlling.
And he's the loose, fun, flighty.

Speaker 1 This couple, David Craig and Brian Crano, it's based in part on their personal stories of trying to adopt and then a vacation in Italy that went off the rails that they combined.

Speaker 1 And they wrote and directed it together. And Andrew and I have known each other for now a long time.
You guys bonded over not wanting to kiss Kristen Bell. Yes.

Speaker 1 I have to say it. Watching Andrew Reynolds and Kristen Bell kiss would be a delight.
They are all two beautiful white people. Yeah, that's right.
So white angels.

Speaker 1 They could sing together. Oh, my God.
I'm rooting for them.

Speaker 1 That is the Todd Haynes movie. I don't know what I wanted to say.
But he's been a big part of Big Mouth. We've been friends and he's just.
the funniest, most talented guy. And he's got that Broadway.

Speaker 1 He can sing like an angel, but he's deeply funny and a great actor. Amanda Seifried plays the woman who we're trying to adopt a baby from, who we're FaceTiming with us.

Speaker 1 She's like, I'm going to give you my baby. And we're in the middle of an Italian village covered in blood.
Have you gone on location with your family to shoot a lot?

Speaker 1 I went with Kristen to Italy when we were newly dating, but not with kids. That was outrageously fun.
I've taken the kids to London where she was working, and that was not outrageously fun.

Speaker 2 And on a cruise ship.

Speaker 1 And a fucking active cruise ship. I've got a one- and three-year-old.
Was that Rogan? Was that Laura Miller Rogan's movie? Yes. It was a really fun movie.
Absolutely. If you're in it.

Speaker 1 With Kelsey Grey. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, dear Lord.

Speaker 1 What were you going to say? Do you love it? You have this dream of I'm going to go make this movie in Italy. And my wife was like, let's go to Rome and make this movie.

Speaker 1 And we had a son at that point who was going to be nearly two. And so he was starting to be not like a tiny little baby.
As we get there, we've realized that my wife is pregnant.

Speaker 1 What do you do about doctor visits? Yeah. Mamma Mia.
Papa Pia. Baby's got a diarrhea.

Speaker 1 Baby's got a diarrhea.

Speaker 1 Do you want to hear really quick? Aaron and I, my best friend, we figured out where that saying comes from. It is from the early 1900s, and a woman brought her baby to the Italian doctor.

Speaker 1 Mamma Mia, papa Pia. The baby's got a diarrhea.

Speaker 1 It's not a big deal.

Speaker 1 We weaponized it, but it was just good news. They were so worried the baby was something wrong.
Or is the baby dying of dysfunction?

Speaker 2 Yeah, or rotavirus pre-vaccine.

Speaker 1 That's what the RFK.

Speaker 2 It all circles back to RFK.

Speaker 1 It always does.

Speaker 1 So you have this idea of what the movie's going to be. Me and Andrew Reynolds working together, dream.
Me and my wife in Italy, our son no longer a little baby, making memories, making movies,

Speaker 1 making love. Hey, now we're talking.

Speaker 1 All of a sudden, it's like, oh, it's a month of night shoots, 45 minutes outside of Rome. So much of the movie takes place at night.
And making of the movie was a blast.

Speaker 1 But I would get home at like five in the morning. Oh, no.
And my son at 7 a.m. wants to party and has revolted against, we brought our nanny with us.
And my son wants no part of that.

Speaker 1 He's done with that. He is scraping at the door.
I've just washed the mud and rain off and I've glided into bed. It's just like,

Speaker 1 and like a busker playing an electric violin outside. So at 7.30 in the morning, my son's like,

Speaker 1 and I'm just hearing like, bump, bump, bump, bum, bump, bump, bum, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump. Cold play.
It was madness. That's what's interesting about early days of.

Speaker 1 family and life and marriage is you're learning on the fly how to do these things. So you have to make these choices mistakes.

Speaker 1 Making the movie was not a mistake at all. I'm really proud of the movie.
I love it. But it was a very hard physical thing to figure out.
Yes, I showed my wife the movie.

Speaker 1 I was so relieved that she was like, Oh, this is great! Right, it was all worth it. Yes, and we also had unbelievable times.

Speaker 1 I would go with my son up to Villa Borgese, that park above the Spanish steps, and I would take him on a little merry-go-round and walk him around and go to the zoo and just laugh at these animals.

Speaker 1 You dumb idiots, you must

Speaker 1 fuck here. Look at us

Speaker 1 free, free. Excuse me, I actually have a pickup in 13 minutes, and I gotta go.
I have real thoughts. Oh,

Speaker 2 oh my god, are they controversial?

Speaker 1 You'll see me on the road to see the material.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so how many dates do you do a year? I don't do many dates. Stand up, I did a special 22 or 23.

Speaker 2 So good.

Speaker 1 Thank you very much. Called Little Big Boy.
Yes.

Speaker 1 And then I always have 20, 30 minutes in the pocket that I'm working on or playing with. I'm going to go do some dates this summer.

Speaker 1 I'm doing a couple dates with Mulaney, Berbiglia, Fred Armison at some big festivals in Canada. I'm doing another festival in Canada with Kumail, Jeselnik, and Michael Che.

Speaker 1 And then I'm doing some mess around stuff here and there. I'm always at Largo in LA when I'm here.
We recently read the top 10 earners of stand-up and we were just aghast.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was going to say I got to buy diapers, but I got to say I didn't always have to buy diapers because I got your guys' products. Was really grateful for.
Oh, good. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It went bankrupt and we no longer have anything to do with it. I had a feeling.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Thought I'd be hearing more about it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You thought maybe those diapers are going to get you.
Good at business. Good at business.
Yeah, good at business.

Speaker 1 Really good at business. Especially the diapers.
Good at business. Medium at diapers.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And even less so with my beer company.

Speaker 2 No, that was Erin J.

Speaker 1 N. A beer? Aaron and I have NA beer.
Can I try it? Absolutely. Please send it.

Speaker 2 They're good. It's outrageous.

Speaker 1 I still drink much less than I used to, but my skin is so crazy that when I drink alcohol sometimes, my face will become wildly flushed. The Asian and you come to me?

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, I'm married to an Asian woman, but it makes the Asian flush look very cool compared to what happens to my face, which looks like a storm, angry, like a Doppler.

Speaker 1 Oh, there's a tornado because it's not clean. It's

Speaker 1 like an archy comic. It's like and it's moving.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's gaining strength. So that's what I do: I do a couple NA beers.

Speaker 1 I do five to ten mushroom chocolates. Uh-huh.
I crush up some gummies, pop those right up the shinazaroo. Easily.

Speaker 1 You got to really crush them up, folks, because I want to be responsible on this podcast. If you're going to snort your edibles, you got to pulverize them.
Use a mortar and a pestle.

Speaker 1 A lot of people aren't.

Speaker 1 They don't know. And bring that with you everywhere you go.
Everywhere you go. Your mortar and pestle.

Speaker 1 Stay tuned for more armchair experts.

Speaker 1 If you dare.

Speaker 1 We are supported by ServiceNow. You know what I love? Not having to do boring, repetitive stuff.

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Speaker 2 Exactly. I was at a happy hour a couple of days ago with a very cool woman named Marco, very chic.
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Speaker 1 This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. So many of us are really impacted by the colder seasons when it gets dark so much earlier and the days feel shorter than ever.

Speaker 2 Yeah, me, me, I'm the one. I feel horrible when it seasonal affective disorder.

Speaker 1 Yes, you do do take a

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When it gets dark, you know how it goes. Life gets busy, but that's exactly why shorter days don't have to be so dismal.

Speaker 1 It's time to reach out and check in with those you care about and to remind ourselves that we're not alone. And you know what? Every time I finally do, I think, why didn't I do this sooner?

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Speaker 2 Sorry, real quick about the special. You do a bit about moms being annoying.
That is so spot-on and good. And I think about it.

Speaker 1 Every time I was a mom? Definitely every time I talked to my mother.

Speaker 2 We are on the heels of Mother's Day. And yeah, I think about it all the time.
They are so annoying, but we love them.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's the most thankless job in the world.

Speaker 2 It's such a wild job. It's upsetting.
It's brutal.

Speaker 1 Have you watched Love on the Spectrum? I've watched a little bit of it. Watch a little bit more just to get this.
And I think this was Kristen's observation.

Speaker 1 The thing that unites all kids on the spectrum is they are relentlessly mean to their mothers.

Speaker 1 Every time their mom starts talking, they're like, oh, mom, like these poor mothers, they have this kid that they have to give so much time to. Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 Which is an essence of what it is, I think, to have to be a mother, which is the emotional connection that we feel to mothers.

Speaker 1 Fathers, it's not like we're nothing, but they can take or leave us a little bit. Moms, there's such an importance to that emotional connection that it also flares up.

Speaker 1 And it's tough because I think that joke is about my shortness i do say that moms are annoying what i believe the joke is about is my impatience my inability to see through what she's trying to do which is just love me yes of course i don't know if my mother sees it that way exactly

Speaker 1 She's like, a lot of people have talked to me about your.

Speaker 1 I don't always talk about my personal life and family in stand-up. When I do, in that case, it resonates with people because I think it's something people really do connect with and can relate.

Speaker 2 It is the most relatable. And for this reason, you're saying everyone is just so impatient and mean to their moms.
And they are calling to say,

Speaker 2 Hey, I just re-upped your AAA. And it's like, why'd you do that?

Speaker 1 Yeah. You didn't even ask.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, they can't do anything right. They're so crazy.
So thank you for that. Yeah,

Speaker 1 poor moms. Yeah.
So lastly, this is a very busy couple months for you. Big Mouth comes out May 23rd.
Adult comes out on FX on May 28th and then drops on Hulu that night, May 29th, all eight episodes.

Speaker 1 And then I Don't Understand You, June 6th. Yeah.
So every few days, you have a big project coming out. I had three projects come out in three weeks that culminates about 15 years of my work life

Speaker 1 over a three-week period. They're all dramatically different as well, which is helpful.
It's not like you have three superhero movies coming out in a week and you got to somehow explain.

Speaker 1 That's next year.

Speaker 1 I can't believe I'm the bridge between DC and Marvel.

Speaker 1 So adults is. I watched it last night.
Oh, you did? Yeah. Awesome.

Speaker 1 You can immediately sense when something's generated by the people in the show and that they have some rapport and that they're real comedians and they weren't just cobbled together with whoever had an agent.

Speaker 1 Yes. Like you watch Broad City and you're immediately like, yep.
It was created by Rebecca Shaw and Ben Croningold, who are super young. When I met them, they were 24.

Speaker 1 It's been almost four and a half years since we first met to when the show is now being made. It's about young 20-somethings in New York and that great tradition of shows.

Speaker 1 The pitch was always like, if friends, they were in the West Village and then girls and Broad City, now those kids are living in Brooklyn. Now that kid is living in deep Queens.
Right, right.

Speaker 1 They're living in like flushing because that's where one of them's parents have a house where they can all live. They're all freeloading.

Speaker 1 And one of the gales wants to now incorporate her new boyfriend. Yes.
A young Monica Padman. She's fantastic.
She's fucking funny. They're all, and so we cast all those kids.

Speaker 1 None of them knew each other. It's five 20 somethings, some stand-ups, some actors, some TikTok-based people, all incredibly funny performers.

Speaker 1 My hope is you watch that and you're like, oh, this group of people seem like friends. There's a vibe.

Speaker 1 I wish my friends were like this, or this is what my friends are like, or this is what I remember my friends being like in my early 20s.

Speaker 2 And you produced it?

Speaker 1 I produced it and then directed a little of it. Nice.
When I was watching it, I don't know why I get so comforted by this.

Speaker 1 I've said this before, but when I watched English Teacher, I don't know if you've seen that show. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Not to get on a soapbox, but I think early when I was adjusting to the transition in comedy, which was totally righteous, you should let the folks make the jokes who the jokes are about. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I watched English Teacher and I was like, yes, this dude's gay and he's going so fucking hard on this topic. And that was the solution.
What I didn't want was for these topics to go away.

Speaker 1 Everyone needs to get made fun of. Let them do it themselves.
I think we all have this maybe knee-jerk concern that the younger generation is so fragile and precious.

Speaker 1 And so the thing that was so comforting about seeing this is like, oh, they're going fucking hard.

Speaker 1 Like the kid they know comes out about being molested and they're just going so hard about him being molested. And I was like, oh, wonderful.
Comedy's still very much alive.

Speaker 1 And the younger kids are going to push just as fucking hard and just let them do it. That's the part I really liked about the show.
The creators, Ben and Rebecca, again, super young.

Speaker 1 They are fully Gen Z. So they love their friends and they love their generation, but they also see what is inherently silly about it.
And so the show is kind of that.

Speaker 1 They're making fun of everything that we feel about Gen Z, but it's also with real love. It's coming from the inside and not the outside.
Yes.

Speaker 1 And so it's not like these fucking Gen Z kids are sensitive. My hope is that it's a little post-identity.
politics. Yes.
So they're just sort of existing inside of it.

Speaker 1 And it's not like, as this person, I feel this way is part of the hope. No, I was just enormously relieved watching it.
Oh, good. Comedy is going to win.
Is it too late to put on the poster?

Speaker 1 Dax Shepard. I was enormously relieved.

Speaker 1 Because I go into everything thinking, oh, these fucking precious.

Speaker 1 They can't even take a joke about each other. Yeah.
I hope I'm owning it. You are.
Okay. Thank you, Monica.

Speaker 1 Ben and Rebecca, when they first came to me, speaking how long these things take, my first email correspondence with them is November 2020 about like, let's do this. They were like, we love big mouth.

Speaker 1 We want to make live action big mouth for our 20s.

Speaker 1 It has become its own thing entirely, but there is a natural feeling of, oh, what we're trying to do with puberty, they're doing with their early 20s, this moment in life that you are in this space.

Speaker 1 And what's funny about it? And how can we heighten that out and do some sort of surrealist things about it that speak to the emotional truths that lie underneath it?

Speaker 1 Yeah, if you have a tone, it's that it goes hard. It goes fucking hard.
Oh, I was going to say, you're talking about me, and I would never say that about myself.

Speaker 1 It's so funny where I'm like, yeah, I go fucking hard. Yeah, of course you wouldn't say that.
Billy Bobble Bottles. What's his name? Billy Bottles.

Speaker 1 It's my Billy Bob Thornton doing Bobby Bottles. Can

Speaker 1 your brother that shows up as billy bottles yeah

Speaker 1 i do want to bring back a bobby bottle service because i think you'd be like way into crypto

Speaker 1 you know what i mean

Speaker 1 i bought fucking doja cat coin at eight dude now it's down to four

Speaker 1 but i fucking i'm using positivity and maximizing my potential to move to puerto rico so that i should be able to make all my money back and then some never sell that's the thing never never sell never settle Here's the other option.

Speaker 1 Go entirely on emotion. Buy sell.
Go with the market. Keep going with the market.
Chase. Change course.
Don't leave. You want to chase in finance.

Speaker 3 Never trust your instincts.

Speaker 1 I want to have a quick conversation with Coach Steve

Speaker 1 as Hermione Permian. Oh, okay.
Because I feel like they share an essence. And I just want to see how it goes.
I'm excited to see this. So I'm just going to introduce you to Herman and Permian.

Speaker 1 He lives by himself in an apartment, and it goes pretty well. Where do you live, Steve?

Speaker 1 I'm not living anywhere particularly, so I'm just wondering if you got extra, you know, you got extra space in that place. Maybe we could crash together for a while.

Speaker 1 Oh, I'd love to have some visitors over. My mom, Mrs.
Monica. She's in and out sometimes, and she'll bring snacks.

Speaker 1 Well, you know, if Monica wants to hang out, if your mom, who it's not clear if she's alive or not, or if this is kind of a base motel situation, any way you want to play it, I'll hang out with her.

Speaker 1 I'll hang out with the dead corpse. I'll do whatever you need to do.
I'm here to hang forever, for long term, for whatever you need. Do you have any allergies? I've got a couple allergies.

Speaker 1 I'm allergic to, I've been living on a diaper barge. Oh.

Speaker 1 Turns out I'm allergic to all the diapers that are on there, the use diapers. I have beef stings.

Speaker 1 Are you allergic to the bees? The thing, I think. Oh,

Speaker 1 wait, you.

Speaker 1 I should mention I'm also dying.

Speaker 1 I got classic TB. Oh, no.
I had an uncle who passed. Oh, I'm so sorry.
Does he need company? Should I go hang out with him? This has been great.

Speaker 1 Okay, and then the last one, I want to do Frito talking to hormone monster.

Speaker 2 Oh, God.

Speaker 1 Because I feel like we could go somewhere that might make Monica throw up. She hates Frito.
Does she hate the hormone monster? Oh, the hormone monster is scary, too. Oh, this guy's awesome.

Speaker 1 If you met my hormone monster, he's so horny. Oh, that's right.

Speaker 3 Frito lays better than just about anyone I know.

Speaker 1 Tell her everything.

Speaker 3 Oh, he puts it in, he gets it out, he puts it back in.

Speaker 1 I can do it forever, Monica. He can't come.

Speaker 1 I can't do it because it's so sexy.

Speaker 3 Yeah, because he likes the edge. He brings it right to the edge.

Speaker 1 I live on the edge, Monica. Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 3 He lives on the edge in New York. If you ever go to the Hudson Yards, that weird tower that they built, it's called the Edge.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he likes to hang out there. Have you ever eaten steak monsters?

Speaker 3 Oh, I love to eat steak. I go to to Morton's.
Oh, Bobby Bottle Service.

Speaker 1 Did you ever have a ribeye steak?

Speaker 3 Ribeye is the best steak you could ever eat.

Speaker 1 Nothing like power or that. I can't even afford a ribeye, but they're delicious.
Oh, buddy.

Speaker 3 I'll take you, get a ribeye, and then we'll make some extra butter for that mashed potatoes if you eat.

Speaker 1 Oh, and you know what, butter is code for Monica?

Speaker 1 Sauce.

Speaker 1 Oh, thank you. That was disgusting.

Speaker 1 People are throwing up. Your fucking vocal cords are done.

Speaker 2 I know. We have killed you.

Speaker 1 You're going to have to double up. I'm going to kill you.
Can you double a zeep? I always double my zeke. Nick, you're a blast.

Speaker 1 I wish you came more frequently than every seven years, but I'll take you.

Speaker 1 Got a dage.

Speaker 1 And by the way, it's so crazy. The show was already working seven years ago, but to watch your show absolutely explode over these seven years has been amazing.
Oh, well, thank you.

Speaker 1 You're part of that success story. I've been remembering the first year when there was no reason to trust us.
I have deep gratitude.

Speaker 1 Next time you have three projects coming out in a week, please come back. And congrats on getting married and having two children since we saw you last.

Speaker 1 I wish you could have been congratulating me for being a part of making out with my wife.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you just wouldn't do it. Oh, no, we're still making out.
Just now we're doing TV. Well, then I'm relieved by that.

Speaker 1 I don't mind that you're not the show, but the fact that you're disgusted by my bride is unacceptable. All right, be well.
Thank you for having me.

Speaker 1 He is an arm care expert, but he makes mistakes all the time. Think I'm cause here.
She's got to let him have the facts.

Speaker 2 I got my hair cut today. Barb did my hair.

Speaker 1 Where'd you find Barb?

Speaker 1 Barb chopstick? What did you say?

Speaker 2 Don't ever say that.

Speaker 1 What did you say?

Speaker 1 Barb Thompson. Thompson.
Okay.

Speaker 2 She's awesome.

Speaker 2 And she's done my hair before. She did it for a gala.
Okay. One of the only gals I've ever been to.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 she's great.

Speaker 1 Always a bridesmaid, never a gala.

Speaker 2 I know.

Speaker 2 And she said you did a great job.

Speaker 1 You're drawing your hair out on your legs, too.

Speaker 2 Oh, don't look. I just haven't shaved.

Speaker 1 Oh, but I didn't know if you were making a decision like everyone's making. That was a fair question.

Speaker 1 What happened?

Speaker 2 I can't believe you did that.

Speaker 1 I wanted to celebrate you if you were embracing me. I did not.
No. Okay.

Speaker 2 I take care of my hair.

Speaker 2 I just haven't, and it's hot out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's great.

Speaker 1 Can you understand there's a movement where women aren't shaving anymore? And I thought maybe you joined that movement.

Speaker 2 It was really actually self-conscious. Oh, and I made it more.

Speaker 2 You didn't notice. And I was like, there's no way anyone will notice.
And you noticed immediately.

Speaker 1 I'm very observant. You know this about me.
I know. I don't miss a thing.

Speaker 2 It just takes a long time to shave.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm in the same boat. I shave my arms now.
I have all this money tied up in these tattoos and I want them to be visible.

Speaker 2 That makes sense. Well, you know, I also, I have to groom my arms, my legs, my armpits, my my vagina parts yeah and I feel terrible for you I've said that

Speaker 1 now that I'm now that I'm grooming a lot yeah it sucks speaking of how's the cashmere we haven't even seen it in a while well you know who's a real producer is Delta yeah yeah

Speaker 1 are you collecting yeah yeah we're it's growing although I may have a big I might have a um I'm now thinking I might have a nice deposit in the drawer in my bathroom.

Speaker 1 I think maybe I haven't transferred some to the

Speaker 1 main storage. Okay, great.

Speaker 1 Okay, I had been wanting to tell you a story. Oh, yeah.
Okay, so we all went to Monster Jam on Saturday. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Who's describe we all?

Speaker 1 Okay, so we all is Charlie and the boys, Ace and Wilder, the two handsomest men in Los Angeles.

Speaker 1 And then my girls, Lincoln and Delta, and then Delta's friend.

Speaker 2 Fun.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and then Eric.

Speaker 1 Eric. Yeah, that's all.
So we went. It was immediately fun.
It's so fun. Monster Jam's so fun.
We got to ride in the like 12 passenger monster truck. That's great.

Speaker 1 I was kind of not clocking any of this, but apparently

Speaker 1 Delta and her friend had brought their two most important stuffies in a red bag. I didn't know that.
I probably would have been like, maybe we don't bring them into the event.

Speaker 2 Can you describe the stuffies?

Speaker 1 Yes. It's imperative that people understand the stakes here.

Speaker 1 So anyone that knows Delta would know her son Groot. Oh my God.

Speaker 2 I don't even count Groot as a stuffy. When you said that, I wasn't thinking of him.
He's a real boy.

Speaker 1 He really

Speaker 1 the robot. I don't know that I've ever seen, and I had very deep relationships with my stuffies.
I had three bears that I loved and I thought about them. And if I was gone too long, I felt guilty.

Speaker 1 Like, I was very in touch and close with my stuffies. What were their names? I don't, I didn't name them.

Speaker 1 One One was a polar bear, one was a brown bear, and one was like a

Speaker 1 koala bear. They were different breeds, so I didn't breed the species.

Speaker 2 So you just said koala, polar.

Speaker 1 I just never was like

Speaker 1 addressing them. I was just squeezing them and feeling guilty.

Speaker 2 So what if like it was downstairs and you had to tell your mom like, oh my God, polar is missing.

Speaker 1 That would never, like, it would never happen. I, I would never lose track.
Never. Okay.
And they didn't travel out of my room either

Speaker 1 because I was too afraid something would happen to them in the wild. Okay, but to put like this in perspective, Groot goes everywhere with us.

Speaker 1 Groot has truly a bigger wardrobe than Delta. Yeah.
He has many different jammies. He has swimwear.
He has like...

Speaker 2 Delta's birthday, she'll often ask for clothes for Groot.

Speaker 1 Mostly, that's all she asks for, is things for Groot. And he has books he reads, and he's an artist, and she makes him dinner.
And he,

Speaker 1 like, it's so,

Speaker 1 it's such a huge part of her life.

Speaker 1 And then I didn't know this. I learned this recently about Groot.
She was kind of explaining what was going on with him athletically. And then I said, is Groot disabled?

Speaker 1 And she said, yeah, Groot is disabled. And I said, oh, what's his disability? And she said, well, he's half tree and half boy.

Speaker 1 So. He needs to breathe carbon dioxide as a tree, but he needs to breathe oxygen as a boy.
So his lungs are like half dedicated to breathing.

Speaker 1 And so that's kind of an impairment for his cardiovascular.

Speaker 1 Additionally,

Speaker 1 this is all real. Like, I didn't even know Groot was disabled.
Well, obviously, but I just had a hunch there was some way she was talking about his athleticism and his outfit. Sure.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 I asked. And he is.
And then she went on to tell me another challenge he has is he's got both veins.

Speaker 1 And then he also has to have

Speaker 1 plumbing for the water.

Speaker 1 So it's like his body's sharing a lot of wow.

Speaker 2 Double duty.

Speaker 1 Double duty. Also, his bark hasn't come in, and that's going to make him more stable.
Oh, wow. Yeah, so there's a lot going on.

Speaker 2 Okay. Wow.

Speaker 1 And I'm going to be honest. I love Groot.
Like, he's also my grandson. And when we snuggle at night, I go, I want a little time with Groot.
So he has to be in my.

Speaker 2 Does everyone have to leave?

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no. Just, I will want Groot in my left nook and Delta in my right nook if we're all laying together.
But she's got to give me some grandpa.

Speaker 1 Okay, never mind. Anyone?

Speaker 1 Uh-oh.

Speaker 2 Never mind. I don't want to do that.

Speaker 1 Okay, good.

Speaker 2 Because you like him in your nook and like

Speaker 2 a kid, like a kid.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like a little baby boy.
So, okay. So great time.
We're having the best time. Now we're up in this huge suite.
There's like 50 people in there. It's a blast.
It's hectic.

Speaker 1 And Delta comes up like mid-show.

Speaker 1 Again, I'm going to say it. I've said it before.
There's no better show on earth than Monster Jam. It starts and it doesn't let up.
Race, race, race, race, race. Stuns, stunts, stunts.

Speaker 1 So it's a party. We're eating food.
And then Delta comes up to me and she is,

Speaker 1 she's past

Speaker 1 like she's, I don't want to say she's hyperventilating.

Speaker 1 She is so scared and panicked. And she said, we don't, we lost Groot.
And I'm like, What do you mean? I didn't even know Groot was in here. We lost the bag.

Speaker 1 So her friend was in charge of carrying the bag. She brought it in here.
Someone maybe stole it or whatever. And I'm like, okay, no one stole it.
Everyone that came is still here.

Speaker 1 No one left mid time, you know? So now we start scouring all the bathrooms in there. And then we go through systematically and we look under every single chair.
This takes 35, 40 minutes.

Speaker 1 I'm missing the monster jam. Sure.

Speaker 2 But you can hear it still.

Speaker 1 I can hear it. That is helpful.
And

Speaker 1 I say at some point, okay,

Speaker 1 it's not in here, which means it didn't, it didn't come up here. Oh.
Now we arrived and we went right out onto the to the arena floor to take that ride. So it's like we're seven stories up.

Speaker 1 That was pre-show.

Speaker 1 I don't, so now Charlie.

Speaker 2 And then take him into the monster truck?

Speaker 1 Yes. So, well, here becomes the investigation.
So then Charlie and I are, I'm like, oh, I made a video of them getting, I'm like, did they even bring the bag out of the car? Right. Okay.

Speaker 1 I took pictures. Yeah.
I take some. Oh, yeah, there's the red bag.
Then I have footage of them getting on to the monster truck and she's carrying the bag.

Speaker 1 We don't have footage of them getting off, but I'm like, but this is, she would have never set it down in the elevator or on the walk. It definitely had to get left in the truck.
So now,

Speaker 1 exactly. And we're now mid-show.
This is hours later.

Speaker 2 And I see. And is that truck like out on the thing?

Speaker 1 No, that truck has now been been already put in a trailer to go to the next monster jam. So I like,

Speaker 1 this is my friend Sally, who I've been,

Speaker 1 you know, going to Monster Jam with Sally as our host for, I don't know, eight years now. Yeah.
She's an incredible lady. She's an armchair.

Speaker 2 Oh, shout out. She's so sweet.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, I don't know what else to do. But like, here's the situation.
She's a mom. She put out a full court press.

Speaker 1 Oh, Oh, look, it's okay. I'll try to get into that truck.
Like, I'll try to find the truck in the parking lot and try to get into the semi to get into this monster.

Speaker 1 So, like, an hour goes by and Delta's really like, she lost her son.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 And I'm, I'm very pessimistic. I'm like, who knows? They set that bag down anyway.
There was so many bags and so many things and so much equipment. It's in an arena.

Speaker 1 So I was really, really pessimistic. And then the show ends.
And then we just sit there for another 45 minutes while the whole place clears out.

Speaker 1 We're kind of like waiting to see if they're going to find group.

Speaker 1 And then she says, Well, you guys are free to, if you want to just wait in the car. So, anyways, we go sit in the car now.
And then I get a text from Sally and it's a picture of her.

Speaker 1 And she's elated and she's holding the bag. She found the bag in a random golf cart somewhere.
No. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It was on its way to the trash.

Speaker 1 On its its way to a

Speaker 1 sex trafficking.

Speaker 1 Don't say that. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 What a tale.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. It was the amount of relief I felt.

Speaker 2 So obsessed, scary.

Speaker 1 When that bag returned. You know, I was starting to think about what our next two weeks to a month.
Like, I was like, this is going to be.

Speaker 2 Imagine what it's like to lose your son. You never get over it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's going to be devastating in a way that I'm not sure how we're all going to deal with. We lost Groot forever.

Speaker 2 That is,

Speaker 1 I was like,

Speaker 1 once we had Groot, I was like, you know, I started thinking, like, what do I do?

Speaker 1 Would you have wanted me to find the same Groot? And she's like, no.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because it's real and he's real. And there's no replacing him.

Speaker 2 Well, and so she answered our long-lasting question about would you clone?

Speaker 1 Would you clone your dog or your kid? She won't. She wanted.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I guess.

Speaker 2 She's like me. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I guess she has ethics. I don't know.
We don't know. We don't know what that means ethically.

Speaker 2 Oh, gosh. That's why.
But okay, if he had gone in the monster truck and then got sent to the next monster truck show, that's a kid's book. That's a children's book.

Speaker 1 And like they love him and he becomes kind of a mascot for Monster Gym.

Speaker 2 Yes, but then he returns back home all day.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but he's like, now he chooses tobacco and he's grown up a little bit. We have different things.
He's been in a couple hustles. Well, he's on the Monster Gym tour.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he is.

Speaker 1 He's on the he's not going to like symposiums on physics.

Speaker 2 But he's very, it's very Toy Story.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes. He could have been on a real adventure.

Speaker 2 I don't think all the dust from the monster truck would be good for his lungs.

Speaker 1 Well, not given what I've learned about.

Speaker 1 Now, what if like the driver of Gravedigger found him and started keeping him on the dash? Oh, and we could like, then we were watching and he was riding on the dash proudly.

Speaker 1 oh my god that's terrifying oh it was really an event yeah so i missed a good half of monster jam

Speaker 2 both looking for and then panicking over sally really hero

Speaker 1 oh my god the hero of all heroes wow yeah i mean if you were to ask me at some point what i would pay for his safe return, it would have been embarrassing.

Speaker 2 I know, but Dax, that's life. It's like

Speaker 2 you can't buy health. Well, actually, I mean, to an extent, you can, which is a a problem, but

Speaker 2 that's why health is the most important thing we have.

Speaker 1 And just being there, I guess. Being alive.
Yeah, being alive. Yeah, being there.

Speaker 2 Being present.

Speaker 2 Well, I'm also grateful because I immediately got codependent for the girl, the friend. Can you imagine?

Speaker 1 No, I know. So that was all happening.
She now feels so guilty and she's crying. Delta's crying inconsolably.
Yep. Her friend's crying.
Yeah. And

Speaker 1 I'm like the dad watching. And so I kept going, oh, sweetie, it's totally okay.
Delta should have been carrying her own bag. It's not

Speaker 1 trying to comfort her and trying to comfort Delta. Her groot is in there, too.

Speaker 2 Oh, it is?

Speaker 1 She's got the double whammy. She's lost her stuffy and she lost Delta's stuffy.

Speaker 2 Who was her stuffy?

Speaker 1 I didn't get a good gander at it once. They were all reunited.
I didn't even know we were bringing stuffies to Monster. Not anymore.
I hope not.

Speaker 1 and then okay now this is the thing that we go back to we were been talking about this the last few episodes

Speaker 1 i'm like

Speaker 1 and i'm talking to charlie and eric i'm like you know all i got to do is keep trying to find group and not say

Speaker 1 this is why we don't bring what you want to say as a parent is this is why we don't bring stuffies to sporting events yep and i was like she has learned that lesson she i don't need to tell her that she is in major discomfort

Speaker 1 and so I let it go. But then I, on the way home, I was just saying how grateful I was that he's back.
Slipping it in a little bit? A little bit. And then, and then I said, he's just so valuable.

Speaker 1 We got to make sure that we're safe when we bring him places. She goes, but he can't just be a boy that lives at home and doesn't go and do things.

Speaker 1 I can't just be protecting him from. And I'm like, I know that's a great.

Speaker 1 But there's a ton of things we can take him to so he's not stuck in the house, but that are also maybe not so distracting as Monster Cam.

Speaker 2 This is complex because this is how you feel about your kids. This is how you parent them.
You're like, you know,

Speaker 2 I'm going to let them go explore the world.

Speaker 2 And another person could say, look, they're a little too valuable for that. Don't let them just go down the street to Ralph's

Speaker 2 where there's crazies. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So it looks like she's

Speaker 1 inherited my parents.

Speaker 2 Looks like it's nurtured.

Speaker 1 Yeah, in this case.

Speaker 2 Wow. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm grateful.

Speaker 2 I'm so grateful. I would have been sad.

Speaker 1 You understand.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it would have been so sad if group, I mean, I would have been happy for him if he was on an adventure, but we know that really he would have gone in the trash.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 he's so cute.

Speaker 2 Dax, missing persons, after like 48 hours, they're dead.

Speaker 1 Okay, so you think you might someone murder him? Trash. Okay.
I just can't imagine holding that little guy. He's so sweet looking.
Oh, I know.

Speaker 1 I told her that's why I didn't know he had a a disability because he's so smiley. I have no idea he's suffering from anything.
He's in a perpetually great mood.

Speaker 2 Well, that's the thing.

Speaker 1 It sounded like there's some pain accompanying these.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.
The whole carbon dioxide.

Speaker 2 Trick her into getting like pain meds for him.

Speaker 1 I might see if we can get

Speaker 1 some nerve blockers.

Speaker 2 Oh my God. Wow.
That isn't quite an adventure. I'm,

Speaker 2 I'm really glad that had a happy ending.

Speaker 1 Oh, me too. Anything fun happened to you?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Okay.
So you've been gone a couple days.

Speaker 2 In the meantime, I've watched two full seasons of you, the show you, which reminds me, I want to play the third.

Speaker 1 That's a show about me?

Speaker 2 Exactly. It's about time that we revisit that because I'm watching it.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's such a great exchange. Okay, let's see.
Laura Ingram. Yeah.
Do you want me to put it on the TV? Oh, yeah, you can. This is my favorite clip of all time.

Speaker 2 And now it has extra meaning because I'm watching the show.

Speaker 1 Is it a great show?

Speaker 2 I love it. It has really Veronica Mars vibes.

Speaker 1 Oh, fun.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 2 it's like Dexter meets Veronica Mars. But I've never seen Dexter.
Okay. Okay, let's watch this real quick.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 You know, I was watching an episode of You where measles came up.

Speaker 6 Wait, wait, wait. When did I mention measles?

Speaker 6 I don't know. It was on you.

Speaker 6 What was on me?

Speaker 1 What are you talking about?

Speaker 6 What is Raymond Jerry?

Speaker 6 I never had the measles. It was on you.

Speaker 6 We never did a measles and vaccine episode. Is this a joke? I know what you're talking about.
It was on you. It was on you.
I've never had.

Speaker 1 Raymond, I've never had a measles. What are you talking about? Stupid.
It's an episode of a show, Laura.

Speaker 1 What's it called?

Speaker 1 You, you.

Speaker 1 I just completely give up. We gotta give up.
So, shy, I give up. I'll call you on Netflix.

Speaker 6 I'm moving on to Adele. I can't explain this, dude.

Speaker 1 What are we talking about?

Speaker 1 So stupid. It's so funny.
It's a real life news.

Speaker 1 It really is. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God. Anyway,

Speaker 2 so I, yeah, I started you

Speaker 2 random. It like popped up as the next.
this never works out.

Speaker 1 Right, right. Auto

Speaker 2 auto play or whatever. And I was like, sure, why not?

Speaker 1 Watch the whole thing.

Speaker 2 And then last night stayed up so late. I couldn't even look at the time.
I was too afraid to look.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow.

Speaker 2 And watched all of season two.

Speaker 1 How many episodes in each? 10? 10. So you watched 20 episodes?

Speaker 2 They were like 45-ish minutes.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God. Okay.
So it is Penn Badgley from Gossip Girl, who I loved back then, Dan Humphrey.

Speaker 1 Okay, great.

Speaker 2 And he recently, he has a podcast, but also I saw, there's like an Instagram kind of viral video of him like dancing on one of these talk shows. And I was like, well, or?

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 2 in my opinion. Yeah, yeah.
And so I was like, oh, yeah, I love him.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 And then he.

Speaker 1 So dancing is attractive.

Speaker 2 I guess, you know what? It is.

Speaker 2 I'm going to, I'm going to circle back. I didn't say it wasn't.
Right, right, right.

Speaker 1 He just didn't put it very high on the list.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but turns out it's really high. yeah so um anyway then it pops up and he is a

Speaker 2 he's a stalker like he's obsessed with this woman

Speaker 2 there's like murder oh he's a psychopath but there it's a love story and he's hot and it's it's confus it's confusing yeah it's sexy but it's scary yeah it's very thin line for women there well i know and i i hated myself of course sure i heard him

Speaker 2 say on an interview, something like that, like, or someone asked, What do you think of when people say he's hot? Yeah. And he was like,

Speaker 2 He's a killer. Right.
So I saw that clip before I watched a show and I was like, Yeah, he's right. This is people are crazy.
Yeah. And then, of course, I'm like, he's hot.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 He's also tricky because he's like kind of a good boyfriend if he wasn't a murderer and putting people in cages.

Speaker 1 Right. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Who, who, who just was everyone obsessed with that salsa was a murderer? Wasn't there recently someone everyone thought was hot? Was it the United Health?

Speaker 1 Oh, assassin with people like really horny for him. Luigi.
Luigi.

Speaker 2 That one I find, that's real life, so I find that much more complicated.

Speaker 1 I do not think

Speaker 1 you don't think he's hot.

Speaker 2 No, I don't think there's anything good in his life.

Speaker 1 Would you think he was hot without the murder?

Speaker 2 There's no way for me to know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can't go back in time.

Speaker 1 He's got very powerful eyebrows.

Speaker 2 I don't think murder is hot in real life, and I don't think vigilantes are hot. Okay, I'm gonna say that.
Good to know. I'm not, there's a lot of people that are like, good for him.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 And I, I disagree.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 I disagree wholly.

Speaker 1 I think that industry is evil, and I don't think you're allowed to kill people. Exactly, exactly.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Except in the show, sometimes he does kill some people I really don't like.

Speaker 2 and it is vigilante and like it's for kids. He's protect sometimes.
He protects kids. He's weird.
He's like kind of this like good friend.

Speaker 1 Hard to pin down. Mixed messages.
Really

Speaker 2 mixed messages.

Speaker 2 Anyway, I am loving it.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. That's great.
Five seasons. Oh, there's five seasons.
Oh, so you're fucked for the whole week.

Speaker 2 I know.

Speaker 1 So what time did you go to bed? Do you know?

Speaker 2 I really don't know, but I was so tired when my alarm went off at nine.

Speaker 1 okay yes and so i had to go back through

Speaker 2 probably three

Speaker 2 wow you're nasty i can't help myself

Speaker 2 you're indulging and because i'm scared a little like it's very cliffhangery it's very good at keeping you on the hook so i'm a little too scared in those scenarios to go to bed like i need to know how it's completely

Speaker 2 but they do a good job at the end of each season too you never know i did start episode three but then i was like monica no Yeah, you got to stop. I got to stop.

Speaker 2 So I turned it off about halfway through that. When I woke up this morning after so much murder,

Speaker 2 I was like, I think I need to take a break today.

Speaker 1 Uh-huh.

Speaker 2 Because it really gets infiltrated. And then it made me think, this is what's happening with boys in video games.
Oh.

Speaker 2 They're just, it's like a constant, they're living in this world that's dark and bleak and they're shooting people and stuff. And then like reality starts to disappear

Speaker 2 you're feeling that happen to you well i just could see it this is your ocd like this is you think you're a per you're a killer or you think you're a pervert i don't okay in this show it's a lot of voiceover because you you're hearing his thoughts yeah and so then today i was kind of hearing my thoughts like that right

Speaker 2 and i thought i need to take a break yeah take a little break no but i also really really want to know what happened.

Speaker 2 Brian, let's see if there's anything else I want to talk about.

Speaker 1 You,

Speaker 2 you know, I really tunnel vision.

Speaker 2 It is easy.

Speaker 1 I get why. I get how it happens.
She's only so culpable. It was very confusing.

Speaker 2 But it was just.

Speaker 1 And he didn't do a good job. Like, he should have recognized what was going on much sooner and said, it's a television show on Netflix and the title is you.

Speaker 2 And the title is you, why oh you.

Speaker 1 Yes, and not Laura.

Speaker 2 He did end up saying it's a show on Netflix called You, and she's still like,

Speaker 1 but he did say I was watching you about seven times before it's a show on Netflix.

Speaker 2 It's so good, I almost feel like it's fake, and I don't want to look too.

Speaker 1 I don't either

Speaker 1 such a genuine reaction from her.

Speaker 2 All right, well, that's it. Let's move into facts.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, facts.

Speaker 1 Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert.

Speaker 1 you dare.

Speaker 1 We are supported by Empower.

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Speaker 4 Not an Empower client paid or sponsored.

Speaker 2 So facts for Nick Kroll.

Speaker 1 When he said daddy's money, when he brought that, I keep thinking how funny that was when he said that. Do you remember that? Yeah.
I don't care because I have daddy's money.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that was so funny. Also, I wrote down specifically when he said sick little cutie.

Speaker 2 I laughed so hard at sick little cutie. I thought that was the funniest.
He was just a sick little cutie.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he was a mess. He was coughing and snoring.

Speaker 1 A little indigestion there for a minute. I fucking loved it.

Speaker 2 It was great.

Speaker 2 And then I was kind of like, oh, sick little cutie is kind of like

Speaker 1 my kink. That is your kink.

Speaker 1 Sick little cutie. That could be your clothing line.
Sick little cuties. Sick little cuties.

Speaker 2 Anyway, that was just, it really made me laugh. Oh, he's so funny.

Speaker 1 But it's more than that. He's got that thing some people have

Speaker 1 where he is just like infinitely comfortable in his own skin, which is so appealing. Yeah.
It's such a comforting personality type. It is.
Yeah. The women came after me.
Just should I tell you that?

Speaker 2 What do you mean?

Speaker 1 The women, my what I thought was an incredibly obvious joke about period, period underwear

Speaker 1 and tampax.

Speaker 1 Such a joke. Some women really came at me hard.

Speaker 2 I think they also might, I don't know if they really think that or if they're like playing along playing your role, maybe.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Exactly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We really did uncover, though, something with the X.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I know.

Speaker 1 Just Maxi Pad. Yeah.
Tam Pax.

Speaker 2 Maxi Pad would have been the first.

Speaker 1 Probably. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then NYX.

Speaker 1 Spanks.

Speaker 2 What is it? Spinks. That's another brand of.
Spanks.

Speaker 1 And they go on your

Speaker 2 women. X, because X.

Speaker 1 Someone suggested that in the comments. And I think that's brilliant.
And I... don't think that's what it is, but that's a brilliant.

Speaker 2 How could you possibly know?

Speaker 1 I'm just trying to imagine the Tampax people going like, okay, let's call it it's it's a tampon but let's let's build on that and let's add x because of the chromosome i just i what's your what's your um

Speaker 1 you know idea that they wanted to imbue a sense of max like max comfort max absorption max freshness max

Speaker 1 what was the word huh They had the word attached to Tampex in the ad we showed.

Speaker 2 Oh, radiant.

Speaker 1 Max radiance.

Speaker 2 But it's not, it's Tampax.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Not Tam Max.

Speaker 1 Tam Paximum.

Speaker 2 I think it's X chromosome.

Speaker 1 That's good. It's good.
We'd have to track down whoever named MaxiPad.

Speaker 2 That's the original.

Speaker 2 I bet you can do that and come back to us.

Speaker 1 Do you think they're alive?

Speaker 2 Probably their kids or kids of kids.

Speaker 1 Okay, well, why are you in a fact? I'm going to ask AI if the inventor of MaxiPads is still alive. Okay, great.
Is the inventor of MaxiPads still alive?

Speaker 2 If people listen to the CTE episode with Chris Nowinski, and then also it came up in another episode, the Pea Baby.

Speaker 2 We had AI

Speaker 2 make a video of us originally talking about the P Baby, the original story of Pea Baby. Oh, really? Yeah.
And I'm going to post it tomorrow. But so by the time you listen to this, it will be posted.

Speaker 2 And I really, really recommend people going to watch this it'll be on our Instagram because for one the story is just you need a good reminder of the pea baby but the AI

Speaker 2 is

Speaker 2 hilarious oh I can't wait to see it's like a version of you and me like the AI made versions of us it's so

Speaker 2 I can't wait to see yeah were you holding this as a surprise for me no I was just forgot I'm doing stuff

Speaker 1 um anyway so check that out check out the pea baby and the ai it just reminded me ai okay great did it respond well it had to have mary beatrice davidson kenner an african-american inventor is renowned for her development of the adjustable sanitary belt a precursor to the modern maxi pad okay so they really went back that was 1912.

Speaker 1 oh wow she passed away in 06 so that's off the table kenner's invention patented in it

Speaker 1 featured a moisture-proof pocket designed to hold menstrual pads securely in place. The innovation.
Okay, wearing Krenner face

Speaker 1 racial discrimination. That's a bummer.
And of course, was awarded five patents. In summary, Mary Beatis Davis and Kenner passed away in 06.

Speaker 1 Okay, so I don't know if we're giving her credit for a maxi pet or she did the belt. Okay.
Okay.

Speaker 2 All right, so we didn't learn anything. Nothing.

Speaker 1 Absolutely nothing. Great.

Speaker 2 Now, what are the most watched shows on Netflix?

Speaker 2 This is on Wikipedia. And notoriously, Netflix doesn't really release this information.

Speaker 1 So or they do it weird. They do it.
They'll do like a minute. Like, so I just saw this.

Speaker 1 And congrats to Dumal and Minka Kelly. Friends of the public.

Speaker 2 Ransom Canyon.

Speaker 1 Ransom Canyon has 2.6 billion minutes viewed.

Speaker 1 And to put it in perspective, Mobland, which I love and is seemingly a hit, everyone I know is watching it, had like 580 million. So

Speaker 1 a four and a half X of second place.

Speaker 1 But they do minutes, right? So that's an interesting way to

Speaker 1 quantify it.

Speaker 2 Interesting.

Speaker 1 As opposed to like households who watch minutes or hours. Minutes.

Speaker 2 Interesting. Okay, well, this is just Wikipedia.
Oh, and it's most popular television series by hours watching their first 28 days. Number one is Squid Games season one.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Stranger Things

Speaker 2 is number two. Three is Wednesday.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 Four is Squid Games season two.

Speaker 2 Five is Dahmer

Speaker 2 Monster, the Jeffrey Dahmer story.

Speaker 1 Wow. I wouldn't have

Speaker 1 picked that up just from walking around and people telling me to watch stuff. Yeah.
That one's a surprise for me.

Speaker 2 Six is Money Heist.

Speaker 2 That was a big

Speaker 2 show. Yes.
I think maybe it was in Spanish, I think.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Ana turned us on to it.

Speaker 2 She loved it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Oh, wait, no, sorry. That's so six is Money Heist Part Part Five.

Speaker 1 Okay. Interesting.

Speaker 2 Seven, eight, and nine

Speaker 2 are Bridgerton. Season one, two, and three.

Speaker 1 Uh-huh.

Speaker 2 And then ten, Money Heist Part four.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 Eleven Stranger Things.

Speaker 1 I need to give Money Heist another shot. It was, it was subtitled.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think so. I know I would, I would watch that.
I'm still in ER.

Speaker 1 Oh, I know what I started, which is so fucking good. The Pit? Deli Boys.
Oh, I want to try it.

Speaker 1 You got to try it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I want to.

Speaker 1 It's such a unique tone that they are pulling off beautifully. Nice.
It's fantastic.

Speaker 2 Cool. I love that.

Speaker 1 You know, I like discovering these hiccups in my thinking. Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 And so there's a joke in Deli Boys.

Speaker 1 They have to deal with this Italian mob boss quite often.

Speaker 1 And they're Pakistani. And the patriarch of, not even the patriarch, one of the partners in the criminal organization, an older guy, he hates Indians, right?

Speaker 1 He's He's constantly talking about how he hates Indians. And so he's sitting across from this Italian mobster and

Speaker 1 he says, Pakistani, but I'm telling the truth, Indians are terrible. And the Italian goes, oh, I thought you were Indian.

Speaker 1 And he goes, no, I'm not.

Speaker 1 They are our mortal enemy. And then the

Speaker 1 mob, the Italian mobster goes,

Speaker 1 So you guys look identical to each other and you hate one another?

Speaker 1 And he goes, oh, cookie just got canceled. He's like, then they all laugh at the notion of a mobster could get canceled.

Speaker 2 Oh, oh, that's funny.

Speaker 1 But then I was like, I think people do go, how do these two people hate each other so much? They're clearly related.

Speaker 1 And then I was like, yeah, I would never think that about the Irish and the English. Exactly.
The French and the English.

Speaker 1 And then I wondered if people in India are looking at those people going like, wait, you guys are the same people. Why are you fighting?

Speaker 1 I wonder if it's like whatever in-group you're in, it seems crazy on the outside.

Speaker 2 It's always about land and religion often. Religion, but yeah, who owns what?

Speaker 2 I mean, that's very timely because India and Pakistan were.

Speaker 1 Well, this was obviously made before they've now launched missiles at each other.

Speaker 2 Exactly, but they're in a ceasefire.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 But anyway. Okay, Seth McFarlane and Nick, that conversation, that's the SAG on the SAG After Foundation YouTube.
Yeah. So you can watch that there if you're interested in animation.

Speaker 1 Pretty unique conversation.

Speaker 2 Okay. The seasons of Seth McFarlane shows.
How many?

Speaker 2 Family Guy 23 seasons. American Dad 19 seasons.
Cleveland Show four seasons.

Speaker 1 46.

Speaker 1 Wow. 46 television.
46 seasons of television.

Speaker 2 That's really it.

Speaker 1 That's all the facts. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, Nick Kroll, we love you. Well, there was one

Speaker 1 speedy recovery.

Speaker 2 He's going to be sick for another 10 years or so. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like six, six more years he's got of being sick. We're not sick anymore.

Speaker 2 Well, you kind of are. You're still kind of sick.

Speaker 1 Probably more sick than I was pre-kids in general. But like they just stop putting their fingers in each other's mouths and butts.

Speaker 1 And like, like they just, they get a little more separated as they get older.

Speaker 2 Speaking of kids,

Speaker 2 I wasn't sure if I was going to bring this up, but

Speaker 2 why not? Yeah, why not?

Speaker 1 I said I was racist, you know.

Speaker 2 Well, no, this isn't negative towards kids.

Speaker 1 Right. I'm just saying I revealed a lot

Speaker 1 that I had some vestigial racial thinking that I caught myself. Sure, yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Mother's Day.

Speaker 2 We just had Mother's Day, right? Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's getting increasingly harder for me.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 And I think from for like like so many reasons that feel overwhelming. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And I'm just tracking that

Speaker 2 that it's starting to feel really tough.

Speaker 2 I'm glad I go home. I go home.
I've gone home the last couple of years. And it's nice to be with my mom.
And I know it makes them very happy. So I like doing that.
But there is something

Speaker 2 about

Speaker 1 being

Speaker 2 there that's hard. when I'm there, especially for moments,

Speaker 2 events, yearly events, the passive, like time

Speaker 2 starts to feel very

Speaker 2 oppressive.

Speaker 2 The passage of time.

Speaker 2 You know, we go to the same places, and you know, I'm going to this like mall that I went to when I was in high school, and to see it be so much the same and also so different,

Speaker 2 it's just, it feels, it feels sad, it feels melancholic.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 2 And, and then seeing my parents' age

Speaker 2 is so hard.

Speaker 1 The lack of permanence to everything.

Speaker 2 Yes. Yeah.
Yeah. And I can kind of Buddhism.
I know.

Speaker 2 And I, when I'm not there, I can detach from it when I'm here.

Speaker 1 And you can keep it time-locked in your mind and memory.

Speaker 2 Yes. And I think I can just compartmentalize in a way.
Like they're there and that's happening, but I'm not seeing

Speaker 2 day to day like the little things that are changing. So it's kind of, it's kind of hard to be there, even though I'm glad I make that decision.
That's a little hard.

Speaker 2 And then I also know being here would be hard because all of my friends have kids. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And that is painful in its own way.

Speaker 2 And like, it just feels sort of like this day is hard.

Speaker 1 Is it painful because you feel like you're missing out on the mothering experience?

Speaker 1 Or is it painful because you feel excluded from your friends in a way i which pain is it i think it's both i think it's

Speaker 2 it's so tricky because it's not like on a day-to-day i think of the pain of not having children

Speaker 2 but on that day yes i am away i'm just very aware that i don't yeah and that it's not it wasn't really a choice. It's just the way my life went, right?

Speaker 1 Unfolded.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it unfolded in this way.

Speaker 2 I made decisions that took me in certain places. I, you know, I'm not married to my high school sweetheart.

Speaker 2 I didn't have one, you know, and yeah, I'm just like aware, like, oh, my life hasn't gone, didn't go that way. Right.
And yes, I can still make decisions that might lead to that, but it's different.

Speaker 2 It's like really different now. The me having a kid now

Speaker 2 is a real choice. It is not like, oh, I fell in love with this person and then maybe we'll have kids.
That's the next step. It's, I have to say, I'm proud now.

Speaker 1 What do we do? Fuck it. Let's do it.

Speaker 2 It's real, real hard decision making. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It kind of, I don't, yeah.

Speaker 2 And that's that's an annoying thing to have to think about. Yeah.
Um, so yeah, I guess I'm just sharing it with a hard take.

Speaker 1 Closer or further.

Speaker 2 I don't know. Like it, it, it, it does, it makes me feel feel like, oh, I wish I had that.

Speaker 2 But does it make me feel like I'm going to take those steps to do it?

Speaker 1 If I were you, I would just want to be crystal clear if it is a desire to have the experience versus the a student in you.

Speaker 2 I know.

Speaker 1 That's hard to know which is

Speaker 1 driving it, but I think

Speaker 1 One is worth chasing and one is worth overcoming.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I know. I don't know.
Again, that's a question that I

Speaker 2 have to ask that I'm kind of resentful that I have to ask. Resentful towards my, like, towards life, I guess, because I know that if I was married and

Speaker 2 in a partnership, I would, I would have kids. Right.
I would want that. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So.

Speaker 1 What does a guy in your situation do? Like, what does this 37-year-old guy who can't go get a donor?

Speaker 2 Well, they could.

Speaker 1 I mean, yeah, they could, and then they got to get a surrogate. And it's definitely more complicated.
You're like, you're a stop at a sperm bank away from having a kid.

Speaker 2 Well, maybe.

Speaker 1 Well, maybe because of fertility, but you know, like

Speaker 1 a dude

Speaker 1 who's not loaded and can't pay for a surrogate and an egg and all that stuff. I wonder what, how they wrestle with it, you know?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I mean, I assume it's the same feeling and the same thing. Like, I guess I have to figure out if I'm going to like just be with a person I don't want to be with or

Speaker 2 take those steps. In some ways, I mean,

Speaker 2 it's all hard, but I think for a man, if they have the means, I mean, a lot of women don't have the means to do any of this either.

Speaker 1 How much is a sperm donor? That's not terribly expensive.

Speaker 2 But to your egg, like, you know, do retrievals and it's expensive.

Speaker 1 But let's just say you.

Speaker 2 You have to remove the eggs in order to make the embryo take oh they can't put a base strain you into it oh they can try it

Speaker 2 yeah some people that works for some people it's pretty hard yeah for it to take but it works for some people but then if that doesn't work you spent money doing that and then you have to you know it's a lot right

Speaker 2 but for a man

Speaker 2 they can make the embryo you know they'll take the egg the sperm they'll make the embryo and then they'll implant it into a surrogate yeah i imagine that's a pricey endeavor i'm sure Fertility is so expensive.

Speaker 2 Another thing that's like, that's a cost that it wouldn't be a cost. I mean, having kids is an insane cost in general, but

Speaker 1 mental health.

Speaker 2 Yeah, diapers. Diapers, ding, ding, ding.
That came up in Nick Crowle's fan.

Speaker 1 Dipes.

Speaker 2 Your dipes, and they went bankrupt.

Speaker 1 Yeah, my diapes went bankrupt.

Speaker 2 Bad for business.

Speaker 2 Anyway, I just thought I would share it because I'm sure it's complicated for a lot of people.

Speaker 1 Surely, Mother's Day.

Speaker 2 For so many reasons.

Speaker 1 Carrie sent me this incredible post that a girl at our high school had put on Facebook. And

Speaker 1 she was a grade younger than us, I believe.

Speaker 1 I didn't, like, of course, I didn't recognize her right away, but it was this really heartfelt, beautiful post about the complicated nature of Mother's Day and

Speaker 1 how she basically had to say goodbye to her mom at 16 because the mom moved to Arizona and the mom was not healthy mom. And so this girl was living, going to my school,

Speaker 1 living on her own,

Speaker 1 paying for an apartment.

Speaker 1 She sent it to me because she goes, side note, that's fun. I was once in detention, and Dak Shepard said to me, What they put you in for.

Speaker 2 Oh, that's funny.

Speaker 1 And then went on to say, Don't worry about all this. Your life's really going to start in two minutes.
And I know mine's not ending here in this detention. Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 Whether I said that or not, who knows? Maybe in her mind, I said that.

Speaker 1 But I'm delighted that on that detention we had, you know, like a fun

Speaker 1 interaction. Yeah, but it was just a really sweet post and a reminder of like, man, some kids like the experience

Speaker 1 can be so radical. Carrie sent it to me going, I'm such a fucking asshole for bitching about my two loving parents who, you know, whatever.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But look, yeah, there's kids in your high school that are like, they're supporting themselves and living in an apartment. Yeah.
And they don't have any parents. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. Anyway, well, that's it.
All right. Love you.
Thank you.

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