Part One: Space Magic from Venus: A Literary Odyssey

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, keep all this on. This is the good stuff.
Oh, welcome back to Behind the Bastards, a podcast where I, Robert Evans, have finally won an award. And no, it's not a real award.
It's a bullshit award that you get when your YouTube channel crosses a threshold that really in the grand scheme of YouTube is not a whole lot of subscribers. But, Sophie...

Did they mail you... award.
It's a bullshit award that you get when your YouTube channel crosses a threshold that really

in the grand scheme of YouTube is not a whole

lot of subscribers. But Sophie...
Did they mail

you a plaque? Have you gotten yours yet?

No. No, I

haven't. But I'm gonna put mine up

because there's nothing better than a fake award.

We're opening this bad boy.

Let's do an unboxing.

I thought this was just...

We're getting into this son of a bitch. I thought this was just like when I told you that you're really good and that's better than an unboxing.
I thought this was just when we're getting into this son of a bitch. I thought this was just

like when I told you that like you're really

good and that's better than an award.

I thought it was like one of those again where I'm

like. No, you have been telling me that lie for

quite some time. Where I'm like, you know what, Robert?

I gotta tell you. You're number one

in my heart and that's

all that matters. Boy, a sword is not the ideal tool

for this, but it works.

When I get mine, I'll open mine with some kind of weapon you've given me. I don't think the axe will be good, but maybe you remember your first subscriber.
Absolutely not. Your hundredth or your thousandth.
Chances are you do. And we know you'll definitely remember your hundred thousand subscriber.
No, absolutely not. I have no idea how many of you people are.
I have gone on to look at the comments exactly once. And I decided that if I continue to do that, I would, in fact, become the Joker.
Oh, I looked the first day I looked and somebody's talked about masturbating to us. And here's our here's our here's our honestly somewhat like I mean, it's great.
Like a hundred thousand. Fine.
It's a start. We're, we're above that now, but, uh, I don't know.
Nice plaque, buddy. We got a plaque.
Finally. I want one.
Finally. It's so shiny.
I've never had a plaque before. Daniel, where's mine? Look at this.
It like fucks with the light in the room. I can like, I can, I can like do an Aziz light on myself while I look at ancient hieroglyphs that reveal the aliens that have been coming to Earth for thousands of years to direct civilization, which is relevant to today's episode.
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I just want to address the color of my drink because it's very strange colored before we start. I feel like now that you've addressed it, people are going to get weird in the comments.
I just want to address it because it's so alarmingly strange subscriber. Look, look, you know what? I'm calling an end to this bit using my powers as a judge.
No, I just want to address the color of my drink. That left real dents.
Oh, shit, Robert. You've already destroyed it.
Well done. Anyways, back to this.
This is not a robust mallet either. YouTube, great quality.
Back to the color of my drink. Props are critical.
The bottle is tinted purple and it's electrolyte water because I'm preventing myself from getting another kidney stone. Hey, that's great.
I'm immune to all problems, except for I'm actually fighting something. So I've got a cough right now.
I'm not immune to anything. This is really a bad intro to the podcast.
It's a terrible intro, Sophie, because I had a great lead in where I was talking about how like this is like in the start of Fifth Element where Aziz is using the mirror to direct light to the guy looking at the hieroglyphs because the aliens that keep coming back to guide humanity were back. And today we are talking about aliens that have been guiding humanity forever.
It is a book episode, everybody. Huzzah, huzzah, praise be.
And it's a book episode that is getting, we're not getting into this QAnon shit. We're going behind those bastards.
And we are talking about a set of myths and a couple of specific authors who are at the very beginning, the beautiful, hopeful birth of the UFO movement, which today is filled with a lot of people who are just basically Nazis. But back in the day, it was a lot of fun.
Molly, you remember the good UFO movement, don't you? Back when it was pure. It was pure.
It was beautiful. I got reminded of that of that special time that it special time and place.
And by place, it's like Taos, New Mexico, Mount Shasta, California, and a couple of other small desert and or Pacific Northwest towns. but a friend of mine went down to

a small town

this person is a public figure

so I am fine talking about them in their Airbnb. But I don't want to give too much detail because people, you know, be creeping.
But they were at a small town in Northern California. And they texted me from it saying, I think this Airbnb is owned by a cult.
And then three minutes later, I think the cult might be Nazis. So many such cases.
First off, I had a little just like sit down, went and bought a cigarette, smoked it just like. So I'm the guy that like if my friends think they've stumbled into a Nazi trap house like that, that I get the text, right? Like that's that's that's just and I know you're that you're that person for so many people, Molly.
That's part of why I've brought you in. I would say if I were to stumble into a Nazi trap house, I would start texting you and being like, Molly, Molly, I need some help.
I think I recognize these sigils. I'd have those property records in an instant for you.
So I looked into it. And the good news is that I don't think they're Nazis.
They just talk a lot about seeing Nazi UFOs, which was a thing in the 50s, 60s UFO movement that does not mean that they are fascists. So that's the good part.
And I told them after I looked into this fella whose books were strewn about the house. They had a number of books strewn about the house that were specifically about Venusian space magic and Venusian medicine.
By which I mean medicine and magic from Venus. I don't think you can go there.
You know, you would think that, Molly. But actually, there's been a long and proud history of people from Venus coming to the United States to deliver us, by some accounts, the iPhone.
That was actually from a season of American Horror Story. Well, I think just women, right?

Only women are from Venus.

No, not at all true.

Men who look like extras from an early David Lynch movie are from Venus.

It's entirely possible David Lynch himself was from Venus,

based on some of the photographs that I've got here.

Sure.

So I looked into this,

and she actually ordered a copy of one of the books that she found there.

But as I was looking into it, I was like, I don't think these people are Nazis. And I was like, so they might be harmless.
And the next response I got from her was, do you want me to send you all the pictures the owner of this house has of himself with like 30 young white women in dresses? So immediately we're back to, oh, okay, this could be going in a bad direction again. And he's obviously very proud of these things because he did not put away his personal items before renting out the house.
He absolutely did not. No, these are, she said that every single corner of every room has a crystal.
And when I say a crystal, I'm not talking about like your friend who is in the crystals and buys like little ones that they keep in bags or like, you know, wear on their neck. I am talking like crystals that cost thousands and thousands of dollars and are like four feet high, like like every single room has these things in them.
Oh, that's a whole market. Yeah.
She took pictures of them. I remember seeing them.
She now claims all of the pictures have disappeared from her phone. And I can only think of a supernatural explanation for this.
It can't be something to do with uploading them to the wrong cloud service or whatever. This has to be the aliens.
It was the aliens. It was the aliens.
I mean, if they invented the iPhone, they know how to get the pictures off the iPhone. That's baby stuff.
And we all know American Horror Story is, what's that term Alex Jones uses for media that's trying to prepare you for the truth predictive programming predictive programming right because the ultimate existential evil we all face yeah plays by a certain set of rules and they have to tell you what they're going to do i do i do love that that's like right up there with god hiding dinosaur bones to trick people i gave you all the clues i gave you all the. Why didn't you figure it out, Mr.
Policeman? So one of the key people behind this, because the specific chunk of alien weirdos that we're talking with today, and this includes the guy who owned that house, is people who either think they are from Venus, they are in contact with people from Venus, or people from Venus have come here in order to help us. And kind of the foundational member of the or the foundational like figure in this movement is a fella named Valiant Thor.
No, it's not. Oh, Molly, you're going to love this.
When I say when I say looks like a guy from a David Lynch movie, I'm going to I to give you my screen here. I love a fun name, like the 9-11 truth guy who called himself Abel Danger.
Yeah, Abel Danger. That's fun.
That's a good name. That's a good name.
And again, so unlike actual spy names. So this is Valiant Thor.
in I believe the 60s. He started showing up at UFO conventions

claiming to be a man from Venus with an IQ of 1,200. And first off, I got to say, the burden of proof is on people to convince me he is not from Venus because look at that.
No, no mortal human could keep that much gel in their hair. It's simply not possible.
I mean, they had pomades back then that the FDA has taken from us. They did, but that is simply more Dapper Dan that could fit on a human male's scalp.
I don't know. Gavin Newsom, J.J.
Reddick, a lot of gel. He does look a little like Gavin Newsom.
Yeah. Have we checked out Gavin Newsom's birth certificate? Is he possibly from venus you've just invented a new kind of birtherism we're in we're in dangerous territory but look at that man he's got a pocket square he does look like he just stepped off of like the uh the fucking um oh what's that highway david lynch movie garrison keeps showing me um i just watched blue velvet for the first time i can see i's say Blue Velvet.
There's some Blue Velvet guy in this guy's look. I'm sure David Lynch was familiar with the story of Valiant Thor.
I have no doubt about that. And as a spoiler, one area thing we're going to get into today that I'm excited about is what I am absolutely certain is a photo that inspired Jordan Peele to make the movie Nope or that helped to inspire.
It was. It was one of the inspirations behind the movie Nope.
So stay tuned for that, my friends. But first, so Valiant Thor is like the first of these guys.
And he claims like, apparently to have landed, I'm actually going to read, this is from his Amazon author page, because Valiant Thor wrote, a number of books, Molly. Did you read that? Like, Stephen, I haven't read all of them.
No, of course not. I have been reading bits and pieces of Valiant Thor lore since I was like 17 or 18.
On March 16th, 1957, a strange craft landed in a farmer's field in Alexandria, Virginia. Local police arrived on scene with guns drawn, expecting the worst.
They were surprised to find what appeared to be a dapper, unarmed man stepping out of the craft. They were even more surprised when the man telepathically asked to speak with the president.
Over the next few days, the visitor would meet with President Eisenhower deep within the Pentagon. According to Valiant Thor, he was sent here by the Galactic Council to convince humanity to shy away from their use of nuclear weapons.
Thor and his co-pilots, Indrid Cold, Carlo Ardo, and Terry Rist, which has in parentheses Demo Hassan, I haven't looked into all of these names, but neither of those are real, claim they hailed from the planet Venus. These Venusians were humanoid in appearance and were photographed at Gray Barker's UFO convention at Howard Manger's farm in 1958.

So actually before the 60s, this is birth of the UFO.

47 is Roswell, right?

And things take some time to spin up.

This is the absolute like proto history of American conspiracism, right?

Like we are at the foundations here.

Thor convinced President Eisenhower to create a council against the use of nuclear weapons. However, the committee was repeatedly blocked by members of the CIA and DOD.
Thor decided to switch gears and enlist the help of Barker in making contacts with humans in all spheres of life. By building relationships with certain influential people and promoting those relationships through Barker and other publishers, Thor was finally able to put a stop to wanton nuclear testing.
So if you're ever wondering, why did we stop nuking Nevada, which the Heritage Foundation

wants to start doing again, it was Valiant Thor.

And he might come back, Molly.

We might get this guy back to save us.

We need him back.

Based on what I know so far, we need him back.

One note on the spelling, just because you can easily get to a southern heavy metal band from North Carolina. Who is named after the guy? Yeah.
Did you listen to any of their songs? Are they good? Molly, no, absolutely not. But it's Valiant with an A and Thor 1R.
Yeah. It's like Prince Valiant, the old cartoon that none of us remember.
So unless Prince Valiant was spelled differently, it's been a long time since I saw one of those cartoons. Now, if you're saying, Molly, this sounds great, Robert.
Obviously, I want to believe that Valiant Thor saved the world from nuclear weapons. But, hey, isn't this exactly the plot of the 1950s movie The Day the Earth Stood Still? I wasn't asking that.
Oh, well, there's a movie that my dad made me see called The Day the Earth Stood Still that's about an alien landing in D.C. and telling everyone, hey, I represent the Galactic Council, basically, and you guys really need to stop it with the fucking nukes.
And the movie came out before this? Well, you know what? Let's look into that. Let's look into that, Molly.
So could he have seen this movie, perhaps? Yeah, that was my immediate assumption. 1951.
Yes, absolutely. 1951, almost a decade before this, yes.
So while he was on his way here, he sort of beamed that idea down so that we would be prepared for it. He absolutely did.
He's not copying the movie. The movie's predictive programming.
No, the movie was preparing us for the arrival of Valiant Thor. So we would understand.
So that obviously the most influential man in the United States in the 1950s, Gray Barker, who held the UFO convention in Howard Menger's farm, would be mentally ready for Valiant Thor. Now, if you're someone who is still like, I don't know, feels like they just copied a movie, would it change your opinion on Valiant Thor to know that Paul Hellyer, who is a Canadian entrepreneur, politician, writer, the longest serving member of the Privy Council of Canada and the former Minister of National Defense for Canada says that he's real? Well, so admittedly, the UFO scene is not my wheelhouse.
I butt up against it every now and again. But it is, there are some guys in the UFO movement who used to have jobs that you would think would make them immune from becoming insane.
Yeah, you think that, yep, yep. Sometimes it's like, oh, this guy used to work at the Pentagon.
He must know. Oh, no, no, no, no.
He's speaking at UFO conventions. Yeah.
We're all seeing the kind of guys getting hired to work at the Pentagon now. I'm hoping that maybe there's going to be less of that.
Yeah. So, no, no, no.
Knowing that he was in the Privy Council doesn't do anything for me because I do not know what that is. And I refuse to find out.
Yeah, no. So it's one of the, this guy who is a kook and had some positions in Canada did a Reddit AMA and was asked why, you know, because he talked a lot.
He really wanted to talk about the- The forum for serious topics. Yeah, and his whole thing was I want to talk about the aliens that are definitely here.
And he was asked by one of the people on the AMA, why have these species publicly announced their existence? Is it a galactic rule to avoid broad contact with an alien species until they reach a certain point of technological advancement on their own in order to preserve their own culture? Are we being quarantined because we are too violent? Are the human governments withholding their existence on their own for their own motives? If so, what would their motives by the way that series of questions is in order uh star trek i forget the actually there's

a separate sci-fi thing that is the whole quarantine thing and then that's just the x

files that's just do the venusians have a prime directive yeah it's the it's a prime directive i

remember reading a short story several of them that that have the quarantine thing as the theme

but i forget the exact names and then obviously x files is the last thing so paul answers

Let's go. reading a short story, several of them that have the quarantine thing as the theme, but I forget the exact names.
And then obviously X-Files is the last thing. So Paul answers, some have, as in some aliens have contacted us.
Valiant Thor, the benevolent Venusian with an IQ of 1,200, lived in the Pentagon for three or four years, offered us Earthlings a richer, healthier life in exchange for giving up our nuclear weapons. His offer was not accepted.
I mean, I guess

he can live inside the Pentagon. They do

have a Taco Bell. They got a Taco.
That's

all you need if you're a Venusian.

Although, according to the book we're about

to read, no Venusian would ever eat a Taco Bell.

Oh, their bodies are

temples.

Only raw food, Molly. Only raw food.

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Ah, God, we're back. We're so back.
Molly, we've never been this back. So I think it's at this point that I got to show you the copy of the book that I found or that my friend found in the Airbnb that they went into.
And look at this. Yes.
Yes. Look at this beauty.
Look at this gorgeous thing. It looks like Carol Baskins.
Well, actually, there is a you know what? That's it's insane that you say that because the front and back cover art is by Carol Ann Rodriguez.

It's just weird that Carol's and Carol's.

That's the word I'm looking at when you say that.

I mean, she looks like, she looks like she comes in peace, right?

She's got flowers in her hair.

There's a rainbow.

There's a lady on the back being abducted.

She's, she's looking good in that dress.

Oh, the rainbow is the abduction tractor beam.

Yeah.

It looks like the rainbow is the tractor beam, Molly.

Yeah. But that's fun.
I like my version. So this is all great stuff.
This book is by Michael X. Barton.
We're going to talk about Michael in a second, but first I got to talk about the guy who wrote the special introduction because his name is Timothy Green Beckley. Timothy Green Beckley ran a publishing house called Inner Light Publications.

That's two words like this Star Trek episode that might be one of the best science fiction pieces ever made.

That's the one with Picard's flute.

Anyway, this has nothing to do with that.

It also has nothing to do with Inner Light Publications, which is a black owned publishing company in Georgia that deals with much more serious works than Timothy Green Beckley, one of whose books is MJ 12 and the Riddle of Hangar 18. And of course, we're going to look at Timothy Beckley.
You know, could we not? Could I not show you a picture of this man? Show me the man. That would be illegal.
I would go to Podcaster's Prison, which is just Spotify. Look at this guy.
Look at him. What a beautiful animal.
Look at him. I'm getting like Jim Jones.
I'm getting Andre the Giant's nose a little bit. He does have a little bit.
If you you told me he was Andre the Giant's cousin, I'd be like, oh shit, yeah, I can kind of see it. Much tinier cousin.
Yeah. Andre the not-so-giant.
I mean, he looks like a chill guy that I wouldn't want to be alone with. You wouldn't want to be alone...
That said, I've never heard anything bad about this guy, but you wouldn't want to be alone with anybody who's too into the UFO movement.

Now, you especially wouldn't want to be alone with him because he is now dead.

He passed away at 73 in 2021.

Oh, RIP.

Yeah, his, whatchamacallit, obituary says he was the sole remaining Beckley of the family.

He was famously known as Mr. UFO and Mr.
Creepo.

So you might not want to have been alone with this guy when he was alive. That's not a great nickname.
It must have been a term of endearment because why else? It's written that way. Why'd they put that in his obituary? I think it was a different age.
A pioneer in his field of ufology, the paranormal and all things bizarre. He was a publisher, author, editor, producer with Inner Light Publications, publishing over 200 books.
Previously, the editor of UFO Universe Magazine and a film reviewer for Hustler Magazine, he ran the New York School of Occult Arts and Sciences and worked promotions for the School of Rock and Roll. He was a podcast host on KCOR radios, exploring the bizarre with Tim Schwartz.

Oh, yeah, he was on Coast to Coast FM. Oh, obviously.
He was on What with William Shatner, you know, a fixture of the New York City nightlife. That's a thing that can mean a lot of things, given this man's age.
In what era? In what era? In what way? but he's a, what I love about this guy, as much as we're laughing about this, this is an extinct kind of guy, right? Like, in the same way that, like, the Tasmanian tiger is extinct, where, like, I want to believe there's still some of them out there, but I just haven't seen the evidence yet. And it is tragic.
So some other luminary. And so he is the publisher.
And as a spoiler, the actual author of this book, Michael X. Barton, is a guy who was writing stuff for the UFO scene in the 60s.
He was an L.A. businessman whose life suddenly changed while his best friend became seriously ill.
While praying, Michael found he was able to receive telepathic communications from more advanced souls purporting to be living on a higher, more evolved vibrational plane of planet Venus, which cannot be detected through scientific methods. And unfortunately, it can't be detected.
That's right. And Barton dropped off the face of the earth at some point.
Beckley claims that he kind of was able to get in touch with him and he was like not doing well. So maybe all of this stuff doesn't actually work in the long run.
Or he ascended to that plane and that's why you can't find him. Maybe he ascended.
But in any case, Michael is just or Beckley just republished his books in the more recent period of time before he died. Because like, fuck it, I guess.
And I think that's funny. Before we get into this book, I want to look at some other luminaries that inner light publications have published.
These are like, so obviously number one is Timothy Green Beckley with 15 books, commander X with 12 books, commander X. Yeah.
Commander X has written 12 books for them. Ashtar command, two books.
Hercules Invictus, just one, just one book there. Admiral Richard Byrd, one book.
Let's see here. Dragonstar, Ramachakra, Master Yogi, one book.
Another book that's the Ashtar Command, which might be different from Ashtar Command. Is that a collective?

Unclear to me at this moment, Molly.

But there's some great names in these guys.

There's some great names here.

And before we get into this book, I guess the last thing we should do, because I forgot to do this earlier.

I want to go back to the Airbnb that my friend stayed in, which belongs to a guy who identifies

himself and is a public figure with a YouTube channel as Paul of Venus.

And

we're just going to look at his website for a second.

Are you down to look at... I've never been more

excited. Are you down to look at this? Yeah.

Okay. Okay.

Venus on Earth. Of course, it's an embodiment.

Where does love

come from? Love. Beautiful color scheme.

Ascension galactic. Embodiment.

Oneness. Venusian technology.
Very millennial pastel. Personal coaching transmissions.
Younger than I thought. Greetings to all.
I am Paul LaVenus, an ascension guide from the sixth dimension on Venus. Can you zoom in on that photo, please? I can't.
You can if you know how to zoom in. I can't enhance, Sophie.
I can't enhance. Command plus.
Command plus. Okay, goddammit.
I don't have command. Let's see.
Control? Are you on a Windows machine? There, fine. You happy? You happy? We're zooming in on his picture.
For you listening, it just looks like a guy in his like 20s or 30s with a... I was just trying to figure out if he was like holding a staff or a...
One of those hats with like little wings. It's a walking stick.
He's on a mountain. Yeah, he's walking around the Mount Shasta area.
That's what it looks like. I like that he's left in the lens flare because it makes him look a little inferior.
He's left in the lens flare. He just looks like a guy.
There's nothing wrong with the way he looks. What I really want to get into is reading his introduction of himself.
I thought he would be old. I did too.
I thought because this is old. This book, again, is from the 60s, it's based in like Valiant Thor stuff, which starts in the 50s.

Timothy Green Beckley is like an older figure in UFOlogy and conspiracy culture.

Like these guys are are contemporaries and honestly, in some cases, like predecessors of like fucking the people who came before Alex Jones.

You know, this is not like new stuff.

But Paula Venus does appear to be fairly young. I am Paula Venus, an ascension guide from the sixth dimension on Venus, a paradisical planet.
I'm delighted to introduce you to a remarkable opportunity to expand your understanding of energy, ascended masters, human embodiment, and ascension. So that's good.
Maybe check him out if you want to ascend. I do want to harness the energy of a sacred location for holographic healing.
You're always saying that. And look, I know because I'm into ufology that there are mushroom aliens living at the center of Mount Shasta.
So go find them, folks. Go hike up.
Right now is a great time of the year. Just whatever your street clothes are, don't bring extra food.
Don't bring zero degree sleeping bags. No, don't bring any methods of contact in the outside world.
Just start walking up that mountain. The aliens will take care of it.
You'll be fine. Harness the light.
Harness the light. Two Bigfoot hunters died about an hour north of me like a week and a half ago.
They were obviously on the wrong vibrational plane. They were on the wrong plane.
That's exactly what this book would argue. So, Molly, this book, Venusian Health Magic and Venusian Secret Science, is a beautiful work of art.
There are so many lines in this book that just make my heart sing. And before we get into reading it, I'm just going to read you a blind quote that I found in there.
Can you get a leave of absence for three months?

I asked him.

It will take about that long for us to carry out certain experiments I have in mind for contacting Venusians.

I think you can get FMLA for that.

Yeah, that makes sense to me.

Yeah.

Medicaid probably would help, too, with the Venusians.

You've got to call their Venus desk, but there's not a lot of phone traffic ahead of you there. Okay, so let's get into it.
I'm opening this beautiful book, and it starts with the introduction by Timothy Beckley, Timothy Green Beckley. He's just talking about his friend Michael X.
He was a mystic who showed up and gave talks, you know, starting in the 50s and 60s at places like Joshua Tree, Giant Rock, where they would do these like massive early UFO things. Michael hailed the arrival of the Space Brotherhood, whom he believed were materializing here to offer assistance in any way possible

to elevate our consciousness to a more harmonious one.

Their goal, allowing us to join the Cosmic League of Nations,

a federation of... And I would say these people are like totally just like copying Star Trek.
But to be honest, knowing Gene Roddenberry, he was copying some of these people. I don't know if he's copying this guy, but Gene was into this stuff, you know, like some of this is it's very murky because like Star Trek, it's going in the 60s and they definitely both bleed into each other.
But I have to say there is a degree to which Roddenberry is getting pulling some of his ideas from the early UFO subculture.

I was going to say, they may have both drawn from the same original source that we.

Yeah. Gene Roddenberry, there's a very good chance that he was having very strange sex at the same events where fucking the author of this book was speaking.

Because that was Gene Roddenberry's thing.

Riker is sort of a self insert.

Riker was always a self insert.

What man wouldn't want to be Riker is sort of a self-insert. Riker was always a self-insert.
What man wouldn't want to be Riker? You get to sit down however you want, you know? Just sitting so cool. You know, Anbo-jitsu, which is like jujitsu, but you all dress like the guys from American Gladiators.
And just so into fucking any kind of alien. Absolutely.
It just didn't even matter to him if care at all he was a he was a 24th century man you know he fucked those non-binary aliens before anyone was even talking about introduced the concept to gin of gender to their species oh reicher so when i uh when i said earlier i i saw a picture in here and I instantly knew like, oh, shit, this is like something Jordan Peele saw when he was younger that very much influenced the film. Nope, which is a movie about both like horseback riding and black cowboys, but also about space aliens and cryptids in the sky.
There's a line in here. While the talks by Michael X and others were going on, it was not unusual for a UFO to be spotted at the Giant Rock Convention.
And then. Whoa.
Yeah. So these are this is a kind of cloud and it's a kind of cloud that all these UFO guys think is a UFO cloaking itself.
And they would show up above. You would get get you get clouds like this in the the desert they would show up above you know these gatherings at giant rock and all of these people who were very much ready to see aliens would have the best day of their lives um and years later we got a pretty good jordan peele movie out of it so anyway maybe jordan peele didn't see that picture maybe he had it beamed into his mind by the venian ascended masters.
I don't think you're considering all the possibilities here. There's a lot of different possibilities here.
So let's get back into this. There's a section of this introduction by Beckley, Words of Universal Knowledge and Enlightenment.
And he's talking about all of the years of letters and calls that he got by Michael X and his teachings. The below communication is representative of the type of mail that crossed my desk.
And this is a letter from someone else about Michael X. In about 1965, I had the privilege to listen to Michael X.
Barton give a lecture at the San Antonio Street College of Metaphysics Inquiry. Michael was a very small man and was well-dressed.
After the lecture, I asked in private what the X meant in his name. He said it was in respect to Christ.
Later on, I had the pleasure of meeting Dr. Wallace Halsey's beautiful wife by the name of Tarna Halsey.
JW, my guru and teacher, once told me that Wallace and his wife were at the Giant Rock UFO convention, and Wallace was talking and walking around with a spaceman who looked the person. I think looked like a person is what it's supposed to be.
Tarna came up and told them that she was going to take a picture of them both together. The space person told Tarna that if she took a picture of them that his image wouldn't show on the print.
This was due to the fact that they had been talking about very high vibrational thoughts and his picture wouldn't show up. Tarna then said I have a very good camera and I'll be able to get your picture.
She took the picture and the space person couldn't be seen. He then tried to tell her that he had told her what had happened.
Later on, Tarna came back to her husband and the space person told Tarna that she could take their picture and he would be able to be seen on the picture. She then took another picture and the space person came out on the picture because they had been talking about normal things.
He was changing his vibrations, obviously. Yes.
Yes. I later had an interview with Tarna, and she said she had demonstrated to a friend that she could become invisible to a camera.
She was able to do this with her friend. She, in a previous life, was from Venus.
She later became the wife of the Crusher, who was a retired wrestler. What? You're saying a lot of things I'm not processing.
Every sentence in this book is like that can we go back to the street college of metaphysics is this just guys outside it's gotta just be guys outside it's talking about a ufos like the guy that yells at you in the street corner outside cbs he's actually that's actually a street. I got a PhD in street college.
I've heard a lot of people shout a lot of things in the street. That's accessible higher education.
I'm going to throw that on my CV next to Judge PhD at the street college. I have heard a lot of crazy people in San Antonio shouting things, actually.
Oh, man. Yeah.
The world used to be so much more fun, but also not. Was she using a Polaroid or were these revelations that had to wait till she got back from Walgreens? What I'm going to say is, folks, you know, we're entering a new era.
The security state has amped up. Make sure if you're going to be out there, you know, doing legally questionable stuff that you're talking at too high a vibration for photos to capture you.
You know, that seems like good OPSEC, right? I need to ascend to the point that I cannot be recorded by a surveillance camera. That's right.
That's why all of those January 6th videos are so blurry. Oh, shit.
OK, so now we're at the author's forward, right? This is finally Michael X, seer of a new age in his original writing. Our space brothers, Venusians, tell us that no one on Earth need be sick or wracked with pain or filled with hopeless despair if the amazing health principles they have unselfishly brought to us are practiced.
The health magic of the planetary teachers is intended for all of us earthlings who have a burning desire to leave poor health behind us forever and go on to wonderful joys and activities that come only to the healthy. Due to the fact that the Venusians are much further advanced in their understanding of man than we are, they have learned all about the electric power that makes the human body function as it does.
They discovered that radiant health and vitality could be stepped up by the simple means of increasing one's intake of life energy. Life and energy are both capitalized.
Through a positive diet of highly vitalized foods and by a conscious direction of what they call lifetrons. Lifetrons? Lifetrons, Molly.
Lifetrons. So, are they selling vitamins? No, no.
I don't think they believe in vitamins at this point. They believe in, like, vitamins as a thing, but I think they believe in vitamins as a thing that you only get through fresh fruit.
So, the Venusian health magic isn't something they're selling you. This is just, you can just vibrate towards it.
They're selling books about it, but the key is eating only uncooked fresh organic fruit. Oh, that's going to give you a tummy ache.
That's going to give you a tummy ache. That's going to give you a tummy ache.
That's just the Lifetron's working. I think you're allowed to have vegetables, too.
Now, look, first off, folks, we're going to have a lot of fun with this in part one and part two. This is not relevant to BTB because these people are bastards.
And I include our friend Paul from earlier in that. I don't think these are bad people generally.
This is a BTB because UFO culture, which they created. Well, not Paul.
He's kind of a later descendant. But the guy we're reading from helped create it.
Spent decades as this like pleasant and generally quirky background part of American life until it all got swallowed up by QAnon. It has at this point been essentially exterminated as an independent subculture.
And we need a term for that. Obviously, this is not like on the genocide spectrum, but this is like, weirdly enough, the destruction of a culture that did exist, that was like a thing that influenced American life that is gone.

And that's I don't know, like how we like there's not like a term for for that, really, for like the way in which particularly because it didn't just like people didn't just like stop being interested in it.

It was like consumed by this other darker thing who used its raw material in order to like grow and spread. I don't know what we call that yet.
Anyway, that's my one serious point for the day. Let's all think of a good word.
I mean, UFO subculture has gone some some bad directions. And I guess, yeah, in terms of conspiracy theory, culture in general, the best predictor for believing in any conspiracy theory is a pre-existing belief in any other conspiracy theory.
So it sort of is contagious. It sort of snowballs, right? If you are, you have this sort of harmless belief in Venusian life magic that sort of opens you up to this belief that the government is suppressing this.
Why is the government suppressing this? sort of snowball into these ideas that end in you know like satanic panic style stuff yeah yeah i and yeah that's that's that's a good way of putting it and speaking of things that are contagious whatever's making me cough but you know what i'm alone in my basement so fuck you here's ads we're back oh molly so did you get some lifetrons during the break you know let's let's talk about lifetrons molly let's let's chat a little bit about lifetrons because when i heard the word lifetron number one i was so happy i love this is this is exactly why I dig into stuff like this. I was like, oh, yeah, that nom nom nom.
That's the good stuff. That's that healthy, healthy shit.
But I also naturally assumed that Michael X created that term. It just felt like so idiosyncratic, right, that this came with this book.
Absolutely not. And I want to read a quote from the Yogapedia now, which as far as I'm aware is a completely reliable source on this sort of thing.
Lifetrons is an English word coined by 20th century guru and yogi Paramhasa Yogananda to describe the vital life force known by the Sanskrit name Prana.

He described lifetrons as intelligent life energy in the body.

According to Yogananda, the building blocks

of life, atoms, come from electrons

and protons, which themselves are created from

lifetrons. Lifetrons come

from thoughtrons of the infinite.

Imbalances in the lifetrons

lead to physical, spiritual,

and emotional illness. For healing, Yogananda said, the yogi invokes God's help to correct the imbalances.
Wait, so... That sounds good to me.
So the... So a lifetron is a subcomponent of atomic particles? So like a lifetron is like a quark? I think a lifetron is a kind of quark.
That's a look. I'm not great at this kind of stuff, but that's how I would interpret that.
Is a lifetron made of thought trons or does it descend from them in some way? They come from thought trons of the infinite. So the infinite has thought trons, which produce lifetrons, which are the building blocks of electrons and protons.
But not neutrons. neutrons made of neutrons are not not discussed not discussed not may not be a part of yogic science they do not descend from the thought trons as far as i can tell okay uh i gotta say paramhasa yogananda is is a guy uh he is a dude uh was a dude he He is super dead.
Oh, he died in 1952. Yeah, he's dead as hell.
This man was born in 1890 S3. So maybe his understanding of atomic physics is not good.
Oh, this is the autobiography of a yogi guy. Yeah, no, this is the dude Steve Jobs was obsessed with his book, right? This is one of Elvis Presley's favorite books.
This is the guy who started the US yoga craze in a lot of major ways.

So do you think Steve Jobs knows about Thoughtrons?

Yes, Steve Jobs had strong opinions about Thoughtrons.

Steve Jobs was a Lifetron guy.

If you had brought up Lifetrons-

Wait, didn't he die from only eating fruit?

He sure did, Molly.

This is, we have, Steve Jobs read the book in our hands.

There's no way when he got cancer, Steve didn't think, thank God,

I don't know. That this is, we have Steve Jobs read the book in our hands.
There's no way when he got cancer, Steve didn't think, thank God, I know about Venusian medical science. Venusian health magic.
Yeah, he ascended. The Venusians killed Steve Jobs.
There's a solid argument that Valiant Thor and Michael X. Barton murdered Steve Jobs.
Wow. See, this is a really relevant behind the bastards episodes.
We are getting very behind some of these bastards. We're making discoveries.
We're doing archaeology. So I should also note that when I looked up Lifetrons, I also found a link to a company called Lifetronic Systems.

They do energy efficient home automation.

It does not appear to have anything to do with anything.

They're safe.

They're safe.

I'm not going to say they're safe because that whole industry is full of fucking untrustworthy companies.

I'm not saying they are in any legally actionable way.

I've seen Smart House.

I am saying picture.

Get a different name, guys. Get a different name.
You're stealing from the yogi who got Steve Jobs killed indirectly. Although, actually, I support that.
Keep using the name. Convince, can we convince Bezos to eat only fruit when he gets sick? That picture of him with the cooked iguana is the only thing I, like, if I think about Jeff Bezos eating anything, I just think about Jeff Bezos holding that cooked iguana.
Look, I'd eat a cooked iguana. They're tasty.
It's a terrifying photograph. People need to eat more reptile meat.
It's delicious. And there's lots of iguanas in Florida.
When a good body part breaks. Part one.
Oh, it is terrifying. I Googled it.
I don't like it.

I'm going to come out with my own book saying that like fucking what's a good planet?

Mercury.

Mercurians contacted me psychically through my Bluetooth headset and convinced me that the real way to end aging is iguana meat.

Right.

Have you ever seen an old iguana? No, because they don't age. You eat their meat, you're immortal.
Boom. I'm speaking to the Neptunians through my feelings right now, and they disagree.
Well, Neptunian medical science is decades behind the Mercurians, Molly. Everyone knows that.
The best way I know of to relay to you the life-giving health secrets of the Venusians so that you will be able to apply them most effectively in your own life is by telling you of a certain remarkable experience. Jim Lindy, a good friend of mine who I have known through many years, was the nucleus around which this most unusual experience revolved.
It was through my knowing Jim and wholeheartedly responding to his sincere and desperate call for help that I was plunged into a tremendous new age adventure with the space people of Venus. Capitalize every word of that sentence, Molly.
And now that we know that like he's known Jim for a long time, we're prepared to accept this. Yeah.
Valuable preamble. Yeah.
He knew Jim since 53 when they formed the Interplanetary Contact Group in Washington State, which is absolutely a real thing. I actually looked this organization up because our author works with Jim in Washington for a while.
They have a lot of people working together to try to make interplanetary contact, you know, kind of on an ad hoc basis. And then our author moves down to California to you have to read between the lines here, but he seems to live on a farm with one or more women who provide his food for him.
How many more? Unclear. Molly, unclear.
He only mentions the one. Maybe just one.
Unclear. I will say.
I don't know how to rate this because he talks about the woman who is specifically preparing his food that he doesn't talk about like a wife, but does talk about with a degree of intimacy. And he lets us know that she's old, but doesn't look it, which is better than the reverse, which would be she's very young, but old in her spirit.
Right. Which is what I am, whenever I am reading the account of a guy who lives in the woods

and talks about UFOs, I'm waiting for the

15-year-old girl, right? Because

every one of them,

I've had this happen to me in real life once

in Mount Shasta

actually, where I'm sure this guy lived,

where a lot of these people live. I'm like

hanging out, my partner

at the time and I are just like wandering through a fucking

farmer's market and yeah, we meet this

guy who takes us back to his

farmhouse, you know, we're bullshitting and stuff he's got a whole wall of bud k swords and then this fucking like 16 17 very unclear no one says he doesn't like she and he won't say her age i don't really know what was going on to this day we fucking booked it i. I don't know.
Robert, don't follow people to their houses. I was very young and very dumb at this point.
This is you have to you have to learn these things by doing them. No, you don't.
Don't follow that advice. Well, yeah, don't don't actually follow absolutely none of my life advice.
Yeah, that's the best life advice I can give you. So, in fact, follow all of my life advice.
Now we're stuck in a quandary. Now we're stuck in a quandary.
So, I looked into this because I was like, oh, shit, I wonder if this organization is still around. The Interplanetary Contact Group seems like the kind of thing where there might still be like one elderly man, like keeping a mailing list going after all of his friends died.
No, but I did find out about something called the Interplanetary Networking Special Interest Group, IPNSIG. It is a US 5013C nonprofit organization affiliated with the Internet Society that is trying to figure out how to make an interplanetary internet uh with the idea that like at some

point in the future we'll need that i i think it might actually be just like serious nerds trying

to think through something that might one day be a thing i'm not bullish on human survival in space

at this point but okay if i ever get sent to a work camp on the moon i'm gonna need wi-fi so

that moon that moon colony is not lasting long look Look, anyway, back to when a good body breaks. So he bounces.
He's away from his friend Jim for a while, but he keeps in touch. They show up at the same conferences, and then he stops seeing Jim so much, right? He's not really hanging around.
Now, he does note of his friend, Jim Lindy was by nature a spiritually progressive individual, open minded to the nth degree.

Yet by no manner of means could he be considered in the least gullible.

He had seen several UFOs himself in the night skies.

They had been filled with awe and wonderment at the sight.

Which would never happen to a gullible man.

A gullible man would never feel wonder at the sight of a UFO.

That's obscene. How dare you suggest

such a thing?

What would Will Riker say?

He'd be too

busy trying to figure out how to sit down backwards

in my complicated chair. On one

occasion, a brilliant glowing object of huge

proportions was sighted in the sky near the

vicinity of his own home. It circled the

area twice, and then with amazing acceleration

the bright object climbed straight upward several thousand feet and headed in the direction of the horizon at unbelievable speed. He was obviously chosen to experience that.
He's obviously chosen. Yeah.
So in 1955, Jim's letters take a negative turn. He starts to seem depressed.
And then one day, our boy, the author, gets a telegram because this is the mid-50s, and that was a thing that people got. Arriving at Los Angeles Airport tonight, 600.
Stop. Can you meet me? Stop.
Urgently important matter. Stop.
Jim Lindy. I just find that nice.
So I guess he's living outside of LA. I'm guessing somewhere near like, I'm guessing Calabasas, uh, or like Santa Monica, the coast, maybe the palace.
Actually, probably any of the places that have burned down aside from Altadena, good chance is where this guy was living, like almost certainly. So he drives to the airport.
He picks his friend up and his friend looks like shit, right? And his friend's like, look, man, I'm a physical wreck. My health's been on a downhill toboggan slide.
I'm losing hope. You know, I've been to all the doctors.
My stomach's acting up. No one can do anything.
I'm burning all of my money on these medical treatments that don't do anything. And, you know, it's bad, right? Like, I'm fucked up and I think I'm dying.
He needs fruit. He needs fruit, right? So this is the conversation that happens after his friend, like, bears a soul to him and is like, yeah, I'm fucked up.
The doctors can't help me. I'm losing hope.
You've overlooked one important avenue of help, I said, as I turned my car off the freeway and headed for my apartment in the suburbs. I glanced quickly at Jim and noted a glint of hope in his eye.
What do you mean? The space people, I said bluntly. Obviously.
Fucking obviously. Of course.
Of course. You've seen the Sausers, just as I have.
I know you believe the spacecraft are controlled by intelligent beings from outer space who must be far wiser than the majority of doctors on Earth. It might just be possible the space people have access to knowledge and healing methods far in advance of any we now have.
Considering these beings have superior intelligence and understanding, your case wouldn't appear at all hopeless. They probably wouldn't be able to get results that to us might even seem miraculous.
So, you know, this is when our author reveals that he's been in contact with some Venusians, right? He actually, he's not just like bringing this up for no reason. He has two very good friends amongst the Venusians, Lanzara and Shalana of Venus.
These advanced human beings, for such they were, had long ago graduated from Earth to the planet Venus and are actively engaged in two fields of service. One, they hold important positions in the Lifetronic Healing Center on Venus, Lanzara being a master healer and Shalana being his most valuable assistant in the great work.
Two, they have a limited number of all caps new age students living on our planet Earth with whom they are in frequent contact by telepathy and other means. Thus, a network of key individuals comprised of men and women in various fields of human service on Earth are secretly instructed by the Venusians who become their cosmic teachers.
And by releasing certain higher phases of knowledge to the key men and women of Earth at times, as that knowledge is most needed, the masters of Venus assist in greatly lessening the sufferer of Earth's humanity. So, it all sounds good to me, Molly.
Do you want to suffer less? It can't hurt to try, right? It can't hurt to try. That's the thought process that undergirds a lot of very exploitative alternative health.
And it is very 50s, too, where it's like even these ascended human beings living on venus like the woman's still got to be the helper right she's still got to be helping right she's not a healer she graduated from earth but not from the patriarchy but not from the page no no no again you got to get to uh uh fuck what was the planet i named a second ago mercury mercury you got to They have left the patriarchy behind. They've graduated from gender.
Yeah. They've graduated from gender.
They're really racist against Italians. It is weird.
It is like 1870s stuff. I do not understand it.
One of the last to go. One of the last to go.
Speaking of, not speaking of racist against Italians, but speaking of going, it about time for us to go molly you got any pluggables to plug before we end part one oh gosh well i guess you could listen to my podcast weird little guys um i mean this episode is kind of about a guy that's weird um my show is about guys that are weird in a way that sucks a lot more yeah yeah your show, your show is downstream. I just talked about how these kind of weird little guys were kind of annihilated as a culture, and largely they were replaced by your kind of weird little guys.
Yeah, guys that want to annihilate all of us. Speaking of annihilation.
Guys that want to annihilate all of us. Yeah, check out Weird Little Guys.
Yeah, and watch the movie Annihilation. Or don't.
I'm actually kind of mid on that film. I've never seen it.
Yeah, it's okay. I think the book's better.
I haven't read the book. I don't know what I'm talking about.
Don't listen to me. Go to hell.
I love you. Jesus Christ.
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