EP 28 – Hannah, Pt. 1

Transcript

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Speaker 43 Hey, it's Andrea Gunning.

Speaker 44 Our season of weekly stories is coming to an end.

Speaker 33 But don't worry, we'll be back soon with more episodes.

Speaker 43 So if you have a story of your own that you'd like to share on the podcast, email us at betrayalpod at gmail.com.

Speaker 44 In the meantime, we want to do something new and exciting.

Speaker 47 This month, we're taking short creative essay submissions from listeners.

Speaker 36 The theme is resilience in the face of a devastating betrayal.

Speaker 30 We want to hear the story of how you healed, scars and all.

Speaker 44 Here's the catch: the limit is a thousand words.

Speaker 29 If your story stands out, it might be featured in a bonus episode. Please save your submission as a PDF and email it to betrayalpod at gmail.com.

Speaker 32 Okay,

Speaker 49 now on to the episode.

Speaker 3 At this point, my heart has just dropped, and I feel like I'm in a vomit.

Speaker 3 The betrayal felt so intentional, and possibly like it was a long time coming.

Speaker 29 I'm Andrea Gunning, and this is Betrayal, a show about the people we trust the most and the deceptions that change everything.

Speaker 16 Betrayals often come with a loss.

Speaker 29 On this show, we've heard stories from people who lost the love of their life or their understanding of who that person was.

Speaker 12 Others have had their children, their home, or their money taken from them.

Speaker 44 We've told stories about people losing their sense of self.

Speaker 29 But no matter the betrayal, everyone we've talked to has held on to one thing.

Speaker 10 Their story.

Speaker 11 Even when they lost everything, they still had the truth.

Speaker 33 But then we heard Hannah Petard's story.

Speaker 3 I remember writing stories from the time I was a little girl.

Speaker 49 Today, Hannah is an accomplished author.

Speaker 44 Stories have always been a big part of who she is.

Speaker 47 When she was little, Hannah's family lived lived on a farm outside of Atlanta.

Speaker 46 There, her imagination would run wild.

Speaker 3 We had horses, chickens, born kittens. It was a wonderful time.

Speaker 53 But it wasn't a wonderful time for everyone.

Speaker 47 When she was in elementary school, Hannah's parents began a bitter divorce. Hannah was the youngest of three.

Speaker 56 And at first, the siblings all had each other.

Speaker 47 But eventually, her older siblings went off to boarding school, and Hannah was left at home in the middle of her parents' custody battle.

Speaker 3 I was constantly getting interviewed by a different therapist. It felt to my mind like we were constantly going to see a judge.

Speaker 36 Her escape was reading.

Speaker 3 I read and I would just go into this fictional dream and block out the noise of whatever was happening in the other room.

Speaker 29 That's when she started writing stories of her own.

Speaker 3 By sixth grade, I was writing poems, horrible, sad, sack poems. And as a 13, 14 year old, I had started writing little sketches and just became pretty serious about it.

Speaker 55 Writing felt exciting.

Speaker 19 It allowed her to get lost in worlds of her own creation.

Speaker 8 But in her real life, Hannah was lonely.

Speaker 1 So she asked her parents to send her to boarding school.

Speaker 29 She thought it would be her chance to start over, to reinvent herself.

Speaker 3 But when she got there, I was still meek, naturally introverted, living in my head, writing stories.

Speaker 49 Hannah chose Deerfield Academy, a school known for its challenging academics.

Speaker 44 It was cutthroat, but Hannah hardly noticed.

Speaker 3 I was blissfully unaware of what an elite institution it was, and I was blissfully unaware of any kind of real competition.

Speaker 3 Truly, the worst part of it was what I was doing in private to myself.

Speaker 29 By 10th grade, Hannah developed an eating disorder. And as a note to listeners, we're going to talk about some details of her experience.

Speaker 8 For Hannah, controlling food was a way for her to feel a false sense of control.

Speaker 29 It only made the divide between her and her peers grow wider.

Speaker 3 You're a kid with a secret, and it's a really big secret.

Speaker 3 It is a secret where you are hurting your body in this intentional way, and you're not relying on the outer world, and you're not trusting anybody else because you don't want to get caught.

Speaker 3 You're just so much by yourself. Socially, I was definitely isolated and isolating.

Speaker 47 She kept her head down and focused focused on her studies, especially her English and creative writing classes.

Speaker 3 By the time I graduated, I'd won a couple writing awards, so I had this idea that maybe I was good or I could be good.

Speaker 29 For college, she went to the University of Chicago and got her degree in English.

Speaker 3 I was too intimidated to take a single creative writing class. I didn't want to be told that I wasn't as good as I felt like I'd been on Deerfield's campus.

Speaker 3 I thought, if I'm not saying what I want, then nobody knows to be disappointed in me or embarrassed on my behalf. Oh, you didn't get it.
You wanted to be a writer and you didn't get it.

Speaker 21 Pursuing a real writing career terrified her, but she dreamed of a master's degree in fiction writing.

Speaker 43 So she sent in a few half-hearted applications.

Speaker 3 I think I sent them something that... I might not even have reread and swiftly was rejected.
And I'm so glad that I was rejected because it was a wake-up call that if you want this, you have to try.

Speaker 47 She spent the next year honing her craft as best she could.

Speaker 3 It paid off. I got into several different programs and ultimately ended up at the University of Virginia.

Speaker 7 She packed up her life and headed to Charlottesville.

Speaker 47 And she made a promise to herself.

Speaker 44 the same one she'd made before boarding school.

Speaker 3 You're going to get to grad school and you're going to become the social person that you know you want to be. You're going to change your life.

Speaker 21 From her first day in the program, that vision felt within reach.

Speaker 3 The program had its very first meeting.

Speaker 3 All of the second years in the program were there and all of the new first years were there.

Speaker 3 I will always remember the first time I saw Trish.

Speaker 3 She was captivating.

Speaker 47 Trish was a second year in the program.

Speaker 3 She had on a great outfit, red lipstick. I think she had on a pair of yellow ballet flats.
Her hair looked amazing.

Speaker 3 She just was cool.

Speaker 47 Trish was everything Hannah was not, and Hannah wanted to make a good first impression.

Speaker 3 Back then, I was being plagued with situational rosacea, which I've had all my life. If you made eye contact with me, I either cried or blushed.
And it's not just blushing.

Speaker 3 You know, I think sometimes people hear the word blush and they think of like these two little cherries on either side of your cheeks.

Speaker 3 It's like a rash that crawls up my neck and makes my cheeks splotchy.

Speaker 29 So when she introduced herself to the group, she turned bright red and Trish noticed.

Speaker 3 I'm still bright red, and she came over and she put her hand on my arm and she said something like, it's really sweet how you blush when you're nervous. It makes you seem authentic.

Speaker 3 I was pretty excited that she'd noticed me. She made me feel seen and we became friends after that.

Speaker 44 That day was a new beginning for Hannah.

Speaker 29 She was starting to have the social life she'd always wanted.

Speaker 3 People from the program would call. to invite me out and they'd come back to my house for house parties.
And meanwhile, we're all just reading and writing and going to coffee shops.

Speaker 3 It was the fantasy that I had imagined for myself.

Speaker 46 And at all these events, Hannah would watch Trish command the room.

Speaker 3 Trish seemed so comfortable in her skin. She seemed comfortable being

Speaker 3 pretty. She seemed comfortable being perceived as somebody who wanted to look pretty.
Meanwhile, I am all day long long nonstop thinking about my body during this time.

Speaker 3 I was so embarrassed of having anyone think that I wanted to be pretty or sexy or feminine, even though that is desperately what I wanted.

Speaker 47 Trish started calling Hannah to hang out, and her confidence began to rub off on Hannah.

Speaker 50 For so long, Hannah had been trying to make herself small, emotionally and physically.

Speaker 29 For instance, she would only wear sports bras.

Speaker 3 I was eliminating curves, but I was also eliminating the embarrassment of being perceived as somebody who wanted to be sexy.

Speaker 60 But Trish inspired Hannah to make a change.

Speaker 3 For the first time ever, I stopped wearing jog bras and then I started wearing skirts with her encouragement and I started showing off my body.

Speaker 3 I'm coming out of my shell and she's helping me come out of my shell.

Speaker 17 Trish liked to go out.

Speaker 24 It was something Hannah hadn't really done before, but pretty quickly she realized she liked it too.

Speaker 3 When Trish would call me, it was, meet me at this bar. She drank beers, she drank shots, and so I started drinking beers and I started drinking shots.

Speaker 3 And I noticed that it was a lot easier to be at bars and easier to talk to townies and strangers. And I followed her lead.

Speaker 47 Over time, Hannah began distancing herself from the other first years, and she was spending more and more nights with Trish.

Speaker 3 I felt like here at last is a friend who's cool, who I can talk to and go out with.

Speaker 3 Here is my first female adult friend. Her friendship, when I was feeling so vulnerable, was transformative.

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Speaker 57 Trish was Hannah's first real friend, and their bond only grew stronger during Hannah's second year in grad school.

Speaker 3 We were brought closer by the fact that my stepfather, who had adopted me, was sick my entire second year.

Speaker 29 He had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

Speaker 50 Trish knew what Hannah was going through.

Speaker 29 She had lost her own dad a couple years earlier.

Speaker 3 She understood grief and she understood loss. And when I would

Speaker 3 become quiet or start crying at a bar,

Speaker 3 she was not judgmental. She knew how to act around me.

Speaker 47 Hannah's other grad school friends just didn't get it.

Speaker 3 And so I ultimately ended up isolating myself from them and sort of glommed on to Trish and the Charlottesville music scene.

Speaker 36 Trish was dating a guy named George, a poet in the program.

Speaker 49 The two of them were very plugged into the live music scene in town.

Speaker 29 So they would often bring Hannah to shows.

Speaker 32 That's how Hannah met Patrick.

Speaker 44 He was a musician in a local band.

Speaker 3 Trish and George, they loved the band. They loved this guy.
Trish said one night, you got to meet him. He's so great.
He's so cute.

Speaker 3 He had a girlfriend, so I didn't think of him as a love interest, but I did meet him and I was like, ah, he is cute.

Speaker 47 During this period, Hannah was often traveling home to spend time with her family and visit her stepdad in hospice.

Speaker 3 Trish knew that I played a lot of Scrabble with my family, and she knew that Patrick played Scrabble.

Speaker 3 And I never would have made the first move to be in touch with Patrick because I didn't really know how to have male friends at that point in my life.

Speaker 29 But Trish insisted that the two of them should hang out.

Speaker 34 So she gave Patrick Hannah's number.

Speaker 3 I got a phone call one day from Patrick saying, Trish says you play Scrabble. I said, yeah, I play Scrabble.
And he said, okay, well, I'm on the downtown mall.

Speaker 3 Why don't you bring your Scrabble board and let's play? And I said, I thought you have a girlfriend. And he's like, this isn't a date.
I do have a girlfriend. I want to play Scrabble.

Speaker 22 And I thought, oh, okay, weird, bizarre.

Speaker 3 I'm not doing anything. So I went, we played Scrabble at a coffee shop, and we just started playing Scrabble all the time.
And he became my first male friend.

Speaker 31 Like Trish, Patrick was confident, maybe even a little cocky, but they had a real connection.

Speaker 3 He's a really smart guy, and he was an excellent critic. And his brain was razor sharp.
So we had great conversations and he was so much fun.

Speaker 51 Their relationship was platonic, even after Patrick broke up with his girlfriend.

Speaker 3 He just started dating a lot of women and I thought, this is so wonderful. I've got a male friend who I get the male perspective from.
He gets the female perspective from me.

Speaker 47 But their dynamic started to shift after Patrick had a major surgery. It meant he needed to spend a lot of time resting at home.

Speaker 3 His recovery corresponded with the beginning of the grieving process because my stepfather died and

Speaker 3 we started spending just a ton of time together.

Speaker 29 Hannah would even bring Patrick along to check on her mom, who was now living outside of Charlottesville.

Speaker 3 I took Patrick out to my mom's farmhouse one day and the three of us played Scrabble and it was like the first time I saw my mom laugh. And the two of them loved each other.

Speaker 3 They got along so well. And it got to the point where

Speaker 3 my mom would call Patrick when she'd come into town and say, I'm going to the grocery store. And Patrick would go to the grocery store with her.
He would take her to bars.

Speaker 3 I mean, he was helping her find small amounts of joy.

Speaker 47 She started to see a different side of him.

Speaker 46 As they grew closer, they started going out with Trish and George.

Speaker 3 The four of us had become this kind of Charlottesville unit.

Speaker 3 I would see Patrick and we'd play Scrabble, and then we'd go to a bar and meet up with Trish and George.

Speaker 44 The four of them were always out together, talking to strangers and laughing until the bars closed down.

Speaker 3 You feel young and invincible, and this is where stories are happening. You're interacting with people, you're overhearing strange bits of dialogue.

Speaker 50 She was finally living life and she was channeling these experiences into her writing.

Speaker 3 I had so many ideas and I was still getting all of my writing done. And because I was in my 20s and made of elastic, I'd wake up the next morning at seven and just start writing.

Speaker 44 She was a good writer.

Speaker 59 She regularly submitted to literary magazines and she was getting published.

Speaker 3 It felt like this fantasy that I had was within my reach as long as I keep trying. As long as I keep trying, I keep writing, there's a possibility that this could be my life.

Speaker 33 And Patrick actually started to write short stories of his own.

Speaker 36 He wasn't in school or in their writing program.

Speaker 3 But hanging out with Trish and me, fiction writers, hanging out with George, a poet, he did start writing stories.

Speaker 47 The two of them would often spend Scrabble games talking about books and story ideas. Hannah also trusted Patrick to read her works in progress.

Speaker 3 He would get wistful sometimes and say, I don't know how you're like how you are. You're just so cool and you're such a good writer and nothing seems to bother you.

Speaker 3 And of course, inside, I am nothing but

Speaker 3 roiling turmoil.

Speaker 47 With these kinds of comments, Hannah started to wonder, was Patrick into her?

Speaker 3 It felt good to be seen, and it felt good to be perceived as attractive, and it felt good to have this attractive man perceive me as attractive.

Speaker 3 And before I knew it, I was crushing pretty hard on him.

Speaker 45 She wasn't going to make the move.

Speaker 44 She knew Patrick had other women in his life, and it was hard to tell for sure if the feelings were mutual.

Speaker 59 And then...

Speaker 3 It was one of those nights that was not uncommon for the four of us. where we had shut the bars down.
We went back to his house.

Speaker 3 You know, he'd kind of been doing that thing where he was touching my elbow with his elbow and making eye contact a little too long.

Speaker 3 He's making some inside joke references about things that we'd been talking about during Scrabble. And it's just incredible tension that is mounting.

Speaker 3 Then at a certain point, probably like four in the morning, George and Trish went back to their apartment and I was gonna call a cab.

Speaker 27 But she didn't call a cab.

Speaker 47 They kissed, and she spent the night.

Speaker 3 We went from being best friends to one-night makeout to basically living with one another.

Speaker 3 There were so many mornings when I would wake up and I would look over and I'd see that it was Patrick in bed. And I would think, I am so lucky I get to do this for the rest of my life.

Speaker 3 I actually like the person that I'm waking up with. And it was just, it was bliss.

Speaker 51 They were in love.

Speaker 29 Still, much of the time they'd spend together was in their group of four.

Speaker 3 It was non-stop double dating with Trish and George.

Speaker 34 But eventually, the group's lifestyle started to catch up with Hannah.

Speaker 3 Trish and Patrick weren't just drinkers. They were late night drinkers.
And so that's what I became too for a little while.

Speaker 3 There were a lot of moments where I would reflect on what I was doing and how I was behaving, and I'd be pretty scared.

Speaker 34 She didn't like what heavy drinking did to her, who it made her become.

Speaker 47 And she certainly didn't like what alcohol did to Trish.

Speaker 3 She could be pretty aggressive. She could be rude.
She could piss people off in bars.

Speaker 34 When Trish got like this, it would set Patrick off.

Speaker 3 He had a bit of a temper too, so their tempers could kind of go up against one another.

Speaker 45 Nights would often end in fights.

Speaker 47 and even when they didn't, things like this would happen.

Speaker 3 The four of us were out. Trish and I were at the bar.
George and Patrick were sitting where we could see them, but it was pretty packed. And she was saying, I knew he'd come around.

Speaker 3 I knew he'd realize he loved you. I knew it.
I just knew it.

Speaker 29 Trish wasn't being the supportive, encouraging friend Hannah had first met.

Speaker 3 She wanted to just remind me that he hadn't crushed on me as hard as I'd crushed on him at the beginning, and she always loved to point out that she had been friends with him first.

Speaker 31 Instead, it felt like she was going out of her way to cut Hannah down.

Speaker 3 And this drove me a little bit crazy.

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Speaker 13 But here's the plot twist: it's not your fault.

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Speaker 8 Lucia, Iceland, and even the British Isles.

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Speaker 23 It's adult only.

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Speaker 8 They'll supply the unforgettable.

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Speaker 47 When Hannah started dating Patrick, her relationship with her best friend started to shift.

Speaker 61 It seemed like Trish always had something to say.

Speaker 59 And it felt like at times she was undercutting Hannah's relationship with Patrick.

Speaker 45 After Hannah graduated, a window opened.

Speaker 29 Her mom offered Hannah and Patrick the chance to live rent-free in her mother's farmhouse outside the city.

Speaker 3 We needed a new place to live, and we were broke. I was waiting tables.
He was gigging and teaching music, and we were so desperate for money. I was desperate for money.

Speaker 3 So, when my mom offered this free place to live,

Speaker 3 it was not lost on me that this farmhouse came with a happy coincidence of having some emotional distance from Trish and what felt to me like her constant oversight.

Speaker 3 So we had this kind of break, and I thought it was magical, just magical.

Speaker 47 Moving into the farmhouse allowed Hannah to make writing her priority.

Speaker 45 She submitted more stories for publication and even began writing her first novel.

Speaker 47 To her surprise, Patrick wanted to do the same.

Speaker 3 He started wanting to focus on writing. And some of the stories were good.
And he got a lot of publications all on his own.

Speaker 51 Other times, he leaned on Hannah.

Speaker 3 It felt like every time I got a story accepted, his first response would be, you should tell the editor about this story I just wrote. And

Speaker 3 every time I would email the editor and say, hey, there's this great story that I just read by a friend of mine, right? And he got a few publications that way.

Speaker 50 But his success was limited compared to Hannah's.

Speaker 51 And he struggled with being farther away from town.

Speaker 12 It took a toll on Patrick.

Speaker 3 Every day I'd get up, I'd write, and at 3:30, I would drive into Charlottesville and start my shift at the steakhouse. And he'd stay home.
And that's where he started drinking during the day.

Speaker 29 Hannah's mom also noticed a change in Patrick. She once called Hannah during her work shift.

Speaker 3 And she said, I saw Patrick this morning. He was wearing a robe.

Speaker 3 And I said, well, it was morning, mom. And she said, yes.
And I saw him again just now.

Speaker 3 And he's still wearing a robe. And it's five o'clock in the afternoon.

Speaker 3 It was a moment when I realized she could see what I could see.

Speaker 3 That troubled me.

Speaker 50 Life in the farmhouse wasn't working for Patrick.

Speaker 44 Hannah was worried.

Speaker 60 She knew they needed a change.

Speaker 52 That's when her book sold.

Speaker 3 When I got that book deal, it was all of those dreams, everything I'd wanted for so long.

Speaker 48 And the good news didn't stop there.

Speaker 34 On top of the sale of her book, Hannah was offered a teaching position in Chicago.

Speaker 53 Plus, Patrick was offered a spot in an MFA program in Boston.

Speaker 27 He could complete it and then go meet Hannah in Chicago.

Speaker 26 They decided it would be a great change, a fresh start.

Speaker 3 So we knew that we were going to be leaving Charlottesville. And at about this same time, George and Trish decided that they were going to move to New York.

Speaker 47 Trish and George were also ready for a new beginning.

Speaker 50 By this point, they were married.

Speaker 47 and Charlottesville was feeling small.

Speaker 29 With big changes coming, the group became nostalgic.

Speaker 53 Trish Trish and George were still Hannah and Patrick's close friends, and no one knew when they'd all be together again.

Speaker 47 So for their last couple months in Virginia, Hannah and Patrick moved back into town to relive the old days as a group of four.

Speaker 3 And suddenly, it was like the four of us together again.

Speaker 3 But I think what I told myself was,

Speaker 3 we all are doing this because it's a last hurrah and we know that things are about to change. We're moving to Chicago and they're moving to New York and therefore it's a last hurrah.

Speaker 58 Right away, they fell back into their old patterns.

Speaker 44 Hannah always ended the night feeling hurt or embarrassed.

Speaker 3 But whenever she asked Patrick if they could cut back on time with Trish and George, he would say, they're part of my past. They're part of who I am.

Speaker 3 I don't know how to have a social life without them.

Speaker 46 Patrick was in a fragile place, and Hannah knew that Trish and George George made him feel like his old self.

Speaker 45 So instead of demanding that they cut off their friends, she went along with it, at least for the time being.

Speaker 3 I will just deal with it. I have always dealt with the things that are uncomfortable.
I can handle it. I can handle it.
It'll be fine.

Speaker 29 It was clear to Hannah that she'd outgrown the group.

Speaker 51 It was a challenging couple of months.

Speaker 27 But then it finally came time for Hannah and Patrick to move on.

Speaker 48 He spent a year in Boston.

Speaker 51 And then

Speaker 3 we moved to Chicago and I wrote another book.

Speaker 50 Through this big transition, Patrick was there for Hannah.

Speaker 3 He made me feel desirable. He made me feel intelligent.
And he made me feel like it was so obvious that I would be ambitious. And it was so obvious that I was going to be successful.

Speaker 47 He was her champion.

Speaker 57 But when it came to his own career, he felt discouraged.

Speaker 44 He was writing his first book.

Speaker 59 Unlike Hannah, he had a difficult time getting published.

Speaker 47 So once again, his mental health took a turn for the worse.

Speaker 3 He really

Speaker 3 was struggling with giving up

Speaker 3 who he'd been in Charlottesville, which was a big fish in a small pond. His band was the popular band at the time when he was living in Charlottesville.

Speaker 3 So he'd gone from kind of like golden god in Charlottesville to

Speaker 3 a dude struggling to find work and writing his first novel in Chicago, living with a novelist who's got a full-time job.

Speaker 29 It wasn't an easy time for Hannah either. Her second book wasn't finding a publisher as quickly as her first.

Speaker 3 And then my agent was shopping that second book and it was getting rejected.

Speaker 3 And that's when Patrick proposed.

Speaker 52 She said yes.

Speaker 57 Finally, they had something to look forward to.

Speaker 47 So they started planning the wedding.

Speaker 3 We wanted it to be small, intimate, Charlottesville-based. It was a beautiful wedding.

Speaker 47 Of course, Trish and George were there. Even though those last couple months together were rocky for Hannah, they remained the couple's closest friends.

Speaker 3 They were the origin story. That's how I met him.
So they were

Speaker 3 one of

Speaker 3 three couples who were there that were not somehow related to us.

Speaker 27 The day was everything Hannah hoped it would be.

Speaker 3 We did our own vows. We wrote them together and we put on like, it was like a scene that we did.
He cried.

Speaker 3 I felt so happy. I felt so happy getting married to him.

Speaker 3 And then.

Speaker 45 And then her book did find a publisher.

Speaker 43 And she sold a third book right after that.

Speaker 44 She was elated.

Speaker 53 But Patrick wasn't.

Speaker 3 That third book deal, I think, really, really hurt him. I think my shadow just got bigger for him and he started feeling smaller.

Speaker 46 He turned to Trish and George for support.

Speaker 3 They always made him feel like the person he had been in his 20s in Charlottesville.

Speaker 29 They made more of an effort to see Trish and George with vacations and visits back and forth.

Speaker 3 It felt like they were our best couple friend again.

Speaker 3 They were always there. They were always there.

Speaker 29 Hannah also helped Patrick secure a teaching job when she got a new role at a university in Kentucky.

Speaker 62 The move and the job did little to help Patrick.

Speaker 34 And his dreams of a book deal?

Speaker 3 He'd gotten close a couple times, but it just didn't happen for him.

Speaker 47 By this point, they'd been together for nearly 10 years.

Speaker 44 Hannah was accomplishing everything she wanted in life.

Speaker 29 Meanwhile, her husband was miserable, and she couldn't help but feel that he resented her for her success. He was lost and grasping for any sense of purpose.

Speaker 31 She didn't know how to help him.

Speaker 49 Finally, Patrick was given an opportunity.

Speaker 29 The second summer after they moved to Kentucky, he was offered two prestigious writing residencies.

Speaker 3 One was in France and one was at Yado. And there was a two-week down period between the residencies.

Speaker 51 It would mean a lot of time apart, but Hannah thought this was good for Patrick and for their relationship.

Speaker 47 Besides, she'd be traveling a lot that summer, promoting her third book.

Speaker 33 She told Patrick to go.

Speaker 3 The idea was by the end of July, we would be back in Kentucky together. He would get therapy and we would figure things out.

Speaker 44 Between France and his next residency in the States, Patrick had a week off and he spent it in New York visiting old friends.

Speaker 3 He decided to go to New York City and stay with our very good friend Hugh. And the idea was he would go back and forth between Hugh's place and Trisha's and George's place so that he wasn't a burden.

Speaker 3 And then he goes to Yado and he keeps writing.

Speaker 47 And that's what happened.

Speaker 29 Or so Hannah was told.

Speaker 21 The week after Patrick went to his second residency, Hannah needed to be in New York for her book launch.

Speaker 11 She was going to crash with their friend Hugh, just like Patrick had the week before. She got in a day early.

Speaker 29 And the night before her book launch, she and Hugh stayed up late talking.

Speaker 37 Randomly, they got on the topic of jealousy.

Speaker 3 And I said something like, well, I'm not a suspicious person.

Speaker 3 And he said,

Speaker 3 Maybe you should be more suspicious.

Speaker 3 And I said, that's a really interesting thing to say. And he said,

Speaker 3 you should ask me questions.

Speaker 39 She didn't know where this was coming from, but Hugh seemed serious, like he had something he needed to say.

Speaker 40 Like he was trying to tell her something.

Speaker 3 And I said, is this about Patrick?

Speaker 3 And he said, yes.

Speaker 3 And I said, did something happen when Patrick was in New York last week without me?

Speaker 3 And he said, yes.

Speaker 3 At this point, my heart has just like dropped, and I feel like I'm in a vomit. And I said, Did Patrick have sex with someone?

Speaker 3 And he said,

Speaker 3 yes.

Speaker 29 She knew the question she really wanted to ask. She was just afraid of Hugh's answer.

Speaker 12 But finally,

Speaker 3 I said, Did he have sex with Trish? And Hugh said,

Speaker 3 yes.

Speaker 47 On the next episode of Betrayal,

Speaker 3 my agent sent me an email and the subject was, have you seen this? And I opened it and I read it and I read it again and I wasn't able to really make sense of what I was reading.

Speaker 29 If you would like to reach out to the betrayal team, email us at betrayalpod at gmail.com.

Speaker 43 That's betrayalpod at gmail.com.

Speaker 53 And be sure to follow us on Instagram at betrayalpod.

Speaker 33 We're grateful for your support.

Speaker 29 One way to show support is by subscribing to our show on Apple Podcasts.

Speaker 27 And don't forget to rate and review Betrayal.

Speaker 44 Five-star reviews go a long way.

Speaker 1 A big thank you to all of our listeners.

Speaker 29 Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group in partnership with iHeart Podcasts.

Speaker 36 The show is executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Faison.

Speaker 45 Hosted and produced by me, Andrea Gunning.

Speaker 43 This episode was written and produced by Caitlin Golden and Monique Laborde with additional production by Ben Vetterman.

Speaker 47 Associate producers are Kristen Mel Curie and Caitlin Golden.

Speaker 37 Our iHeart team is Allie Perry and Jessica Kreinchek.

Speaker 47 Audio editing and mixing by Matt Delvecchio.

Speaker 9 Additional editing support from Tanner Robbins.

Speaker 44 Betrayals theme composed by Oliver Baines.

Speaker 37 Music library provided by MIBE Music.

Speaker 52 And for more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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